1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,800 TANNOY TONES 2 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,680 Hello, campers. 3 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,000 Rise and shine! 4 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,000 It's another glorious day, 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,720 and to get you in the mood, the sun has got his hat on. 6 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:36,440 MUSIC: Funeral March by Frederic Chopin 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,040 Oh! 8 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,040 MUSIC STOPS 9 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,920 I'm so sorry, campers. 10 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,520 I don't know how that happened. 11 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,320 Come on, Mavis. I know you can squeeze me in. 12 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,280 I can't seem to get it up. 13 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,680 Have either of you seen Kitty? 14 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,240 Not recently, no. 15 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,000 She was out all night. It's not like her. 16 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,640 Why don't you ask Mrs...? 17 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,560 Mrs Chummy, I was wondering... Not now, Sandy. 18 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,200 What in the name of all things holy? 19 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,920 This is my new routine, this is! 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,160 When all the campers are having their breakfast, 21 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,800 I lay hardboiled eggs for them. 22 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,560 HE CLUCKS 23 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,040 Congratulations on plumbing new depths of vulgarity. 24 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,880 Now, who is responsible for today's prank? 25 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,520 Not me, Mrs Chummy. Oh, no. 26 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,760 That music really put the willies up me. 27 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,000 Well, whoever it is, it has got to stop. 28 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,520 We've got VIPs coming from all over the country this weekend. 29 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,000 And the creme de la creme of Kembleford. 30 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,080 We cannot afford any nonsense! 31 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,000 Who did it? 32 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,760 Who made that monstrous thing out there? 33 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,040 What is it, Jock? 34 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,400 What? 35 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,560 No! 36 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,680 Oh, hello, Father! 37 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,840 Never had you down as having green fingers. 38 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,160 I'm looking after the garden while Mrs McCarthy is away. 39 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,960 And I hope that everything survives until she gets back. 40 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,240 Where's she gone? 41 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,400 To Ireland. To visit her sister. 42 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,880 And it is only in her absence that I realise how much 43 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,760 I rely on her. 44 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,640 Still, everyone deserves a holiday! 45 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,840 Very true. Oh, speaking of which... 46 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,040 ..did you get one of these? 47 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,600 An invitation to Chummy's Holiday Camp. 48 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,880 I'm intrigued. 49 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,760 Well, we're going, and the Inspector and his family. 50 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,920 Should be a nice relaxing weekend. 51 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,200 Let's hope so. 52 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,600 Cheerio, Father. Cheerio, Sergeant. 53 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,720 TANNOY TONES 54 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,720 Hello, campers. 55 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,880 Rise and shine! 56 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,000 And what a load of frolics we have for you today. 57 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,480 At 11 o'clock, our ever-popular knobbly knees competition, 58 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,680 followed by an Egyptian cabaret. 59 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,960 Something for everyone, whether you like Egypt or knees. 60 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,000 But it was 20 years ago - my late husband, 61 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,680 Charlie, and I built this camp. 62 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,320 And tonight we are having a gala celebration 63 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,400 with stars old and new. 64 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,040 So come along and let the memories come flooding back. 65 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,120 # We're all chums at Chummy's... 66 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,000 Yes. 67 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:15,040 # Loyal to the end 68 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:20,160 # Come here as a stranger and you'll go away... # 69 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,760 Good morning, everybody. 70 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,200 Good morning, Mrs Chummy. 71 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,920 Now, as you know, today is our anniversary... 72 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,200 Oh! 73 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,960 Sorry I'm late, I was helping a lost child. 74 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,600 Really? Well, it's a pity you didn't get lost yourself, 75 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,160 but never mind. 76 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,400 As I was saying, today is our anniversary. 77 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,040 So there must be no more pranks, or any kind of silliness. 78 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,800 Yes, Mrs Chummy. Woof, Mrs Chummy. 79 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,440 So Sandy will be meeting our VIPs. If that's all right with you? 80 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,680 Of course, Mrs Chummy. 81 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,400 Which means that you will be in charge 82 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,880 of the knobbly knees competition. 83 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,600 Oh, Mrs Chummy, please! 84 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,440 Knobbly knees are beneath me! 85 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,520 I am a highly-skilled entertainer. 86 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,840 Ha! Well, your secret's safe with me. 87 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,000 You keep your little wet nose out of it. 88 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,200 Mrs Chummy, if he doesn't want to, I'd love to have a go. 89 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:15,160 "Friends, campers, countrymen - lend me your knees!" 90 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,400 No! 91 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,280 Mavis, how many times? 92 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,520 The reason Chummy's has lasted so long 93 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,480 is because everyone knows their place. 94 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,120 And your place is at the end of this! 95 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,560 Morning. 96 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,160 How was your chalet, Father? 97 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,520 Quite sufficient for one night. 98 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,480 They don't really go in for home comforts here. 99 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,640 They want you out and about, having fun. 100 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaking of which, I have to go and find the Inspector. 101 00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,600 I'll see you later, Father. 102 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,400 Father Brown? 103 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,720 Hello. I'm Sandy. 104 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,080 Sandy Beauchamp. 105 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,200 And I've come to show you the Island of Dreams. 106 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,960 You must be a... 107 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,560 Orangecoat. Oh, yes! 108 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,360 Yes. Of course. 109 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,160 Is it fun? Oh, yeah. Every day is so exciting. 110 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,200 Some days it's quite hard to finish my breakfast. 111 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,680 And what would you say was the secret of Chummy's success? 112 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,160 Er, variety. 113 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,640 Everywhere you go, there's a new gay adventure. 114 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,760 So, shall I take you to the lady who made it all happen? 115 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,680 TANNOY TONES 116 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,680 Hello, campers. 117 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,000 It's knobbly knees time! 118 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,000 So, whether your knees are bonny or bony, 119 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,480 bring them along to our magnificent outdoor pool. 120 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,320 Oh, Father Brown! 121 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,240 Our illustrious guest. 122 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,200 I was most surprised to be invited. 123 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,600 Oh, I've always been very interested in the church. 124 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,000 The liturgy, the traditions. 125 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,200 You are very welcome at Mass tomorrow. 126 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,800 I said I was interested. I didn't say I was obsessed. 127 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,360 But it's so nice to have you here. 128 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,800 Allow me to give you the grand tour. 129 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,280 Now, my husband, Charlie, was one of the big nobs 130 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,000 of the entertainment industry. 131 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,160 But so many of his childhood holidays 132 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,800 were ruined by the rain. 133 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,560 So, back in 1933, he dreamed of a place 134 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,200 where the fun flows freely and rain never stops play. 135 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,480 20 years on, here we are! 136 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,000 Oh, later on, we're having a little talent contest 137 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,400 if you fancy giving us a turn? 138 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,000 I know one or two songs. 139 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,760 What about... No, no, not now. 140 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,320 I don't want to pre-judge. 141 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,640 This is a very special place. Dream Cottage. 142 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,040 Charlie and I used to live here. 143 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,000 I still do, and it's very much the beating heart 144 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 of the operation. 145 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,120 Mrs Chummy? Hm? 146 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,000 I'm intrigued. Yes? 147 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,080 The swimming pool is such a feature of Chummy's, 148 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,200 and yet, in 1938, it was a sandpit. 149 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,760 Was it? 150 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,600 I think we were just conserving water. 151 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,160 Mrs Chummy, I don't like to interrupt. 152 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,440 Well, then, don't. 153 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,240 But I've just found out that Sylvia, 154 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,000 who was due to do the sports day today, 155 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,920 has got a gippy tummy. And? 156 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,240 And I thought maybe I could help out. 157 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,000 I could organise the limbo dancing. Indeed. 158 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,400 As you're so good at bending backwards for the guests. 159 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,000 But you are not, and will never be, an Orangecoat. 160 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,520 Haven't you got any floors to mop? 161 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,000 Yes, Mrs Chummy. 162 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,520 Sorry, Mrs Chummy. 163 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,000 I'm sorry. I do hope that didn't seem too harsh. 164 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,480 It did a bit. 165 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,560 Well, I apologise, but here at Chummy's, 166 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,000 we have to run a very tight ship, 167 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,680 which is why our trophy cabinet is simply 168 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,320 groaning with awards. 169 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,240 Ah! 170 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,520 Oh! This is someone's idea of a joke! 171 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,360 Mavis! 172 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,680 Mavis! Yes, Mrs Chummy? 173 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,760 Will you get rid of this? 174 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,560 Roll up! Roll up! 175 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,400 Who wants to roll up their trouser legs, 176 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,280 expose their knees to the breeze? 177 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,680 Come on, sir, it's just a bit of fun. 178 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,800 I fail to see the appeal of naked kneecaps. 179 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,000 First prize is a barrel of beer. 180 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,640 John, hold my coat. 181 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,960 Inspector. Padre. 182 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,360 Don't tell me it's a mortal sin to expose one's kneecaps? 183 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,240 On the contrary, the Bible is clear, 184 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,240 one should not hide one's light under a bushel. 185 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,680 Very droll. 186 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:53,400 JOCK: Right, let's get them lined up by the...tedium. 187 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,320 Stadium. 188 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,880 Is everything all right, mate? No, its not. 189 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,560 I didn't want to do this. 190 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,560 CHILD LAUGHS 191 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,080 And they're far too close to the edge! 192 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,800 Where's Mavis? She's supposed to be supervising. 193 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,880 Mavis? What are you talking about? 194 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,720 Is everything tickety-boo? 195 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,600 Jock's just having a moment. 196 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,480 Well, you take over the competition. 197 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,760 And, Jock, come with me. 198 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,280 I want a word with you. 199 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,200 Mind if I join you? 200 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,320 It's a free country. 201 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,840 How did you get on in the knobbly knees contest, Inspector? 202 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,760 Go on, sir. Don't be modest. 203 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,320 Third prize. 204 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,120 Mrs McCarthy may have found fame with her scones, 205 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,080 but I have won a prize for my patella. 206 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,080 APPLAUSE 207 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,400 # We're off to Egypt 208 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,720 # Underneath the desert sun 209 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,000 # No place like Egypt 210 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,120 # Far away from everyone 211 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,560 # So we say farewell to Chummy's 212 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:24,000 # Heading for the land of mummies 213 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,240 # We're off to Egypt 214 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,760 # Come along and join the fun. # 215 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,480 So, here I am. 216 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,640 On the trail of the rootin' Tutankhamun. 217 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,080 KNOCKING 218 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,080 But what's that sound? 219 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,360 Is it my black pudding coming back to haunt me? 220 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,520 Look who it is! 221 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,040 It's... 222 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,440 Well, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. 223 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,680 I... 224 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,520 Sorry. Look who it is! 225 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,880 It's Uncle Jock! 226 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,440 But he's not going to help. 227 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,040 He's all wrapped up. 228 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,520 MUSIC PLAYS 229 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,680 Whoa! 230 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,800 TANNOY TONES 231 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,000 Well, wasn't that fun, everybody? 232 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,320 But yummy, yummy, yummy - there's a rumbling in my tummy! 233 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,680 Thank goodness it's time for... SHE SCREAMS 234 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,120 SHE CHOKES 235 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,040 Kembleford police! Everyone stay right where you are! 236 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,680 KNOCKING Mrs Chummy, are you all right? 237 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,440 Mrs Chummy? 238 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,360 Mrs Chummy? Move out the way, please. 239 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,520 Oh! Oh, Mrs Chummy! 240 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,840 Just take some deep breaths. You'll be all right. 241 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,600 Oh! 242 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,000 There must be a homicidal maniac about! 243 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,200 Perhaps we should turn off the microphone? 244 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:51,000 Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei. 245 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,520 Offerentes eam in conspectu Altissimi. 246 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,600 Amen. Finally. 247 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,040 You can go now, Padre. 248 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,120 She's been strangled. 249 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,880 I'm well aware of that, thank you. 250 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,240 And on the 20th anniversary of her husband's creation. 251 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,720 And you think the date is significant? 252 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,360 Indeed I do. Earlier today, I saw a clown statue 253 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,600 dressed as the Grim Reaper. 254 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,000 It now looks as if it was a prophecy. 255 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,200 Oh, Lord. Oh, blessed David and all the saints. 256 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,000 I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. 257 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,680 They'll put us under police protection. 258 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,200 If there is someone out there. 259 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,760 Oh, it's you. 260 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,720 Now, I have to ask, are you the real thing, 261 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,560 or is this fancy dress? 262 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,880 The real thing. 263 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,600 At least, I try my best. 264 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,200 Any sign of the Inspector? 265 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,120 He's talking to Jock, 266 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,200 who'll be telling him theatrical anecdotes. 267 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,000 Oh, he'll be gone till doomsday. 268 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,000 I understand Mr McCudgeon was here from the very beginning? 269 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,680 Yeah, that's right. And he's always saying he's going to be here 270 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,440 till Old Father Time brings down the curtain. 271 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,160 Well, that won't be possible now, will it? 272 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000 Chummy's will have to close. No! 273 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,480 We can't close! 274 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,400 We're booked solid till the end of the season. 275 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,400 We've got the big show tonight! 276 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,800 The show must go on? 277 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,360 I-I think so. There are people coming 278 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,720 from all over the country. 279 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,440 Sergeant...? Not now, Father. 280 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,120 Someone seems in a bit of a hurry. 281 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,760 Hello, everyone. 282 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,840 Tea? Coffee? Ovaltine? 283 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,280 Mavis, what are you doing here? 284 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,680 What do you mean? 285 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,800 The police told us to sit and wait to be interviewed. 286 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,000 Yeah, but they've done me. 287 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,840 So I thought I'd give out some refreshments. 288 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,560 Is that wise? What? 289 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,880 You're not suggesting that I'm trying to poison people? 290 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,160 No, I never said that. 291 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,640 They spoke to me first! 292 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,520 They let me go. They know I'm innocent. 293 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,320 Mavis Jug? Yes? 294 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,280 I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder 295 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,160 of Mrs Marjorie Chummy. No! 296 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,680 You're not obliged to say anything, 297 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,640 but anything you do say may be given in evidence. 298 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,920 This is madness. I'm innocent. 299 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,560 I'll charge Miss Jug back at the station. 300 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,400 You stay and secure the crime scene. 301 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,640 I'm taken aback, Sergeant. 302 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,320 That was a brutal strangulation, 303 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,640 and Mavis seems like a gentle soul. 304 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,680 We've just been searching her lodgings, 305 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,920 found the murder weapon, Father. 306 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,480 How did she have time to go back to her lodgings? 307 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,240 Well, she was the only one in the area when the crime took place. 308 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,520 Why be so foolish? 309 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,800 Why choose a time when everyone else has a perfect alibi? 310 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,040 Unless that was the idea? 311 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,120 TAPPING 312 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,560 So, Mrs Chummy's death was broadcast, 313 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,760 but how do we know it was live? 314 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,880 Er, because we heard it. 315 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,640 "Yummy, yummy, yummy - there's a rumbling in my tummy!" 316 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,600 She must have said that every day. 317 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,000 What if the killer recorded it on another day, 318 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,720 and then added the sounds of strangulation? 319 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,000 They'd still need to be here to turn it on, Father. 320 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,800 If the recording was at the end of the reel, 321 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,240 the killer could've murdered Mrs Chummy, pressed play... 322 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,760 ..and the announcement wouldn't have gone out till 12:45. 323 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,000 But there's no tape in the machine. 324 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,440 Because it's been removed. 325 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,520 Presumably while we were preoccupied with the corpse. 326 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,080 How the devil did they do that? 327 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,120 And how is the Inspector's health and temper? 328 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,000 At the moment, I don't think you'd mistake him 329 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,240 for a ray of sunshine. 330 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,840 Oh, dear. Hm. 331 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,560 He says there was only one person in the area. 332 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,360 Mavis. One person with no alibi. 333 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,720 Mavis. 334 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,480 And that Mrs Chummy was strangled with an apron belonging to... 335 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,840 ..Mavis. 336 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,680 Although it is an unusual killer that takes the murder weapon 337 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,200 home with them. 338 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,240 He claims she wasn't in her right state of mind. 339 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,640 For years, she's been begging to become an Orangecoat. 340 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,400 But Mrs Chummy would only ever use her as a maid. 341 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,400 I suspect the sheer frustration caused her to snap. 342 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,400 I see. 343 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,560 Yes, I imagine that is a nightmare of the Inspector's - 344 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,680 the downtrodden workers overthrowing their tyrannical bosses. 345 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,920 You've got to admit, though, Father, 346 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,920 until we find the tape that the killer used, 347 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,000 we've not really got much to go on. 348 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,160 I've got a horrible feeling the Inspector may get 349 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,520 his way with this one. 350 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,080 Although, we do have an advantage over the Inspector. 351 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,600 And what's that? Our ability to listen. 352 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,960 I didn't do it. 353 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,400 I didn't like Mrs Chummy, 354 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,440 but why would I want to throttle her? 355 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,040 Do you know anyone who might have wanted to harm her? 356 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,000 We both saw that Grim Reaper earlier. 357 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000 We've had all sorts of pranks. 358 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,400 Funny noises over the tannoy, 359 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,680 a dummy of Mrs Chummy with a knife sticking out of it. 360 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,280 How long has this been going on? 361 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,560 Oh, about two weeks. 362 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,360 Is there anybody who might have born a grudge against her? 363 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,000 I can think of one. 364 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,320 For the past few weeks, Sandy's been looking after a stray cat, 365 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,840 Kitty. 366 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,560 But then it went missing. 367 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,000 Darling, I told you before, pets are not permitted. 368 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,720 I gave you an ultimatum to get rid of it. 369 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,760 How could I do that? I don't know. 370 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,000 Down a well, possibly. 371 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,440 Anyway, you won't need to worry about it now. 372 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,840 Do you know where she is? 373 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,160 As I say, you won't need to worry. 374 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,920 If you've hurt a single hair on that animal's head, I'll... 375 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,040 CLATTERING 376 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,080 What happened? 377 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,520 I dropped my bucket and Mrs Chummy told me to sling my hook, so... 378 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,640 Why frame you for the murder? 379 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:10,560 Is there any reason why someone might bear you ill will? 380 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,920 I don't think so. 381 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,640 I just do my best to keep my head down, 382 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,040 keep going. 383 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,400 Am I going to hang for this, Father? 384 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,640 I will do all I can to prevent it. 385 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,840 So, how is she, Father? 386 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,720 Not good. 387 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,840 I think she has survived her whole life on hope - 388 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,640 and reserves are running dry. 389 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,720 I need to get back to the camp. 390 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,400 Well, I've got the day off and a full tank of petrol. 391 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,800 Good. 392 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,560 Let's go and see a man about a cat. 393 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,800 Please. Take a seat. 394 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,000 Oh, this is very... 395 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,400 Small. 396 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,040 I was going to say cosy. 397 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,120 Were you fond of Mrs Chummy? 398 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,240 Yeah, I thought she was amazing. 399 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:22,160 It takes a special type of person to create their own magical world. 400 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,240 Someone who is utterly driven, 401 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,560 and will stop at nothing to get what they want? 402 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,040 I don't know what do you mean. 403 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,560 Well... 404 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,560 ..you were overheard having an argument with Mrs Chummy, 405 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,800 about something that had been taken away. 406 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,640 Oh, no. It's not like that. I... 407 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,520 Are you all right? 408 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,480 I just... 409 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,800 I think I'm going to... 410 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,320 HE SNEEZES 411 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,000 Bless you. 412 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,480 A very violent sneeze, Sergeant. 413 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,200 I'm sorry, Father. 414 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,120 I couldn't help myself. 415 00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,280 Are you perhaps allergic to certain animals? 416 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,080 Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention. 417 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:05,920 Here, Kitty. 418 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,520 Kitty. Aw! 419 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,000 Kitty came to live with me and Mrs Chummy found out 420 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,720 and confiscated it to teach me a lesson. 421 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,120 But I just said, "If you've done anything to hurt my cat, 422 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,480 "I shall resign." 423 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,840 What did she say to that? 424 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,480 She said, "Just keep it out of my sight 425 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,200 "and don't get any hairs on your uniform." 426 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,680 THEY CHUCKLE 427 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,680 So... 428 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,200 If you stood up to Mrs Chummy, then she respected you. 429 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:31,160 It's only if you were a bit weak, she tended to bully you. 430 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,880 Who in particular did she bully? 431 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,000 W... You know, if I had to say someone, 432 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,600 it'd be Jock. 433 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,720 He does his best, but he does get in a bit of a muddle. 434 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,400 And, yeah, she really used to pick on him. 435 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,200 You don't really think it could be Jock, do you, Father? 436 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,240 I mean, he seems like he's in a world all of his own. 437 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,800 Unless it's all an act. 438 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,480 And that's the way to do it! 439 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,480 That's the way to do it! 440 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,840 Mr McCudgeon? 441 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,280 What is it? 442 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,000 Sorry. May we have a word? 443 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,360 Oh, yes. 444 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,840 Father...Green, was it? 445 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,480 Near enough. 446 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,000 Wanted to have a word with you about Mrs Chummy - 447 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000 as you'd known her longer than anyone else. 448 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,720 Oh, for more years than I care to remember. 449 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,000 I was in variety with her husband. 450 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,000 When they opened the camp, I was only too happy 451 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,520 to come and help out. Mm. 452 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,640 Although, you didn't look too happy at the knobbly knees competition. 453 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,680 Yes, well, I was concerned about some safety issues. 454 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,360 Mrs Chummy asked to have a word with you. 455 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,760 Afterwards, you were very distressed. 456 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,160 You were late on stage for the cabaret. 457 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,640 Well, I was distressed. 458 00:23:55,640 --> 00:24:00,960 Sometimes, Mrs Chummy over-reacts a little. 459 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,520 And what do you think you were doing? 460 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,000 I was concerned the podium was too close to the pool. 461 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,240 I did not want an accident. 462 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,640 Oh, there's an accident every time you step on the stage. 463 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,640 It's the biggest day of my life, and you've spoiled it! 464 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,720 No, that is most unfair. 465 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,000 I've worked hard for you all these years. 466 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,240 And now you're a liability. 467 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,000 When tonight's festivities are over, 468 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,480 I want you out! 469 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,520 Oh, how pretty! Look! 470 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,960 Oh, what fun! 471 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,080 Yes. 472 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,560 That does sound like an over-reaction. 473 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,000 She was just a bit anxious about this morning. 474 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,320 She would have changed her mind by this evening. 475 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,640 Anxious about what in particular? 476 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760 Well, the pranks. 477 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,640 The anniversary. 478 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,880 Seeing old faces. 479 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,480 And old memories. 480 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,080 What sort of memories? 481 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,720 Ah, the children! My audience! 482 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,720 It's time for my 12 o'clock performance! 483 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,160 12 o'clock? 484 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,520 It's 3:30! 485 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,720 So, could he have killed her in order to keep his job? 486 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,520 Or to keep a secret. 487 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,120 That's the way to do it! 488 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,240 That's the way to do it! 489 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,720 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 490 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,000 Where are we going, Father? 491 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000 Dream Cottage. 492 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,120 Mrs Chummy's house. 493 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,560 The headquarters of the operation. 494 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,720 You know, I've always wondered how you gain access 495 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,880 to so many crime scenes. 496 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,200 Have you? 497 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,240 Ah, well, perhaps you should look away now. 498 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,240 This is very nice. 499 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,480 I'm clearly in the wrong job. 500 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,960 So, what are you looking for, Father? 501 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,440 The story of Chummy's. 502 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,080 RATTLING 503 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,760 Or rather, the story that Mrs Chummy... 504 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,040 ..doesn't want told. 505 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,280 Photograph album. 506 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,160 It's their honeymoon. 507 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,760 In Nice. 508 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,640 Strange thing to keep in a locked drawer. 509 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:36,840 Indeed. 510 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,840 Employment records. 511 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,840 Jock McCudgeon. 512 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,200 20 years. 513 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,160 No complaints. 514 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,600 And yet, Mrs Chummy seemed very keen to let him go. 515 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,560 This is a letter from a theatre manager, 516 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,000 Mr Parnell, 517 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,400 asking about the availability of Griff Grimshaw 518 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,800 to appear at the London Palladium. 519 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,480 A very prestigious venue. 520 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,160 And this is a follow-up letter, written a few days later. 521 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,240 "Dear Mrs Chummy, 522 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,880 "thank you for warning me about Mr Grimshaw. 523 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,000 "No, we cannot afford to have a drunken layabout 524 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,520 "in our company. 525 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,360 "I have cancelled his contract forthwith." 526 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,680 When was that dated? 527 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,040 Just over two weeks ago. 528 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,720 Mr Grimshaw? 529 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,440 There's no sign of him, Father. 530 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,480 Whoa! 531 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,560 Hi-ho, Silver! 532 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,360 Mr Grimshaw? 533 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:36,640 May we have a word? 534 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,880 Well, I'll do my best. 535 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,640 But it's quite hard to control this thing. 536 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,680 I wanted to talk to you about Mrs Chummy. 537 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,560 Ah, yes. 538 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,520 I can't believe she's dead. 539 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,600 I never knew anyone so alive. 540 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,880 Will you stop that?! 541 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:53,440 You do know I could have you arrested for common assault? 542 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,800 Me or the ostrich? 543 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,400 I gather she wasn't the most encouraging of employers. 544 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:58,680 Oh, no. 545 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,640 She was always encouraging us to try hard, 546 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,040 do our best for the place. 547 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,360 Mr Grimshaw, for entertainers like you, 548 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:08,880 Chummy is the first rung on the ladder to success. 549 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,040 Unless Mrs Chummy snatched the ladder away. 550 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,560 What are you talking about? 551 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,000 A six-week show at the London Palladium, 552 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,080 which would have starred a comedian called Griff Grimshaw. 553 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,040 Only, Mrs Chummy said he wasn't suitable. 554 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,200 She did a bit more than that, you know! 555 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,600 She wrote to them. 556 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,000 She told them what a useless drunk I was. 557 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,880 Well, not so useless that I couldn't phone the secretary 558 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,280 and find out what was going on! 559 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:33,800 That must have made you very angry. 560 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,840 Well, I didn't exactly jump for joy. 561 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,520 And how did your anger express itself, Mr Grimshaw? 562 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,880 I played one or two practical jokes. 563 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,680 Nothing serious. I swapped a few records around. 564 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,000 Didn't you make a dummy with a knife sticking into it? 565 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,000 OK, well, I thought it seemed quite amusing at the time, 566 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,440 but I didn't, you know... 567 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,840 So, who did? Well, how should I know? 568 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,920 She was always picking on people. 569 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,000 Jock, and poor old Mavis. 570 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,480 She took away her dream job. 571 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,080 She told her, "You'll never be an Orangecoat again." 572 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,520 Again? 573 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,440 Well, it was a long time ago. 574 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,520 When Mr McCudgeon became confused, 575 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,520 he still imagined you were an Orangecoat. 576 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,120 He was calling for you, wondering why you weren't on duty. 577 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,040 We were by the pool. 578 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,000 And earlier, in the exhibition, 579 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,120 I noticed that the pool had been filled in for some years. 580 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,280 Why? 581 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,560 I try not to think about it. 582 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,640 There was a little boy 583 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,800 and he got separated from his parents, 584 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,360 and he went to the pool. 585 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,680 It was being cleaned at the time, but he... 586 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,880 He couldn't read the sign saying keep out. 587 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,240 So he went in. 588 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,240 And he couldn't swim. 589 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,320 No-one saw him till it was too late. 590 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,520 What was your role in all this, Mavis? 591 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,000 I was in charge of first aid. 592 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,040 I knew how to give the kiss of life. 593 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:21,960 Only, I'd... 594 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,240 I'd just met a very nice man... 595 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,360 ..and he'd asked me back to his chalet. 596 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,200 I was only gone an hour. 597 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,120 But I was too late. 598 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,360 Was there a cover-up? 599 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,320 They did everything to keep the place open, 600 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,880 keep it out of the papers. 601 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,240 They? 602 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,840 Mrs Chummy and Uncle Jock. 603 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,000 Ah, hello! Father Brown? 604 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,840 You know we're having a talent show later? 605 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,000 Oh! Er, maybe you should rest your vocal cords 606 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,840 for Mass tomorrow, Father. 607 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,200 Of course. 608 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,360 I wonder where I might find Mr McCudgeon? 609 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,680 Oh, he's just getting changed. 610 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,880 Er, can I leave Mr McCudgeon to you, Father? 611 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,840 I need to find the Inspector and Mrs Goodfellow. 612 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,000 We're watching the big show together. 613 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000 I'll see you there. 614 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,480 Mr McCudgeon? 615 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,120 KNOCKING 616 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,120 Hello! 617 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,120 Mr McCudgeon? 618 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,760 How do you do? 619 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,440 Will you be disappearing? 620 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,400 Oh, no, no, no. This is a new trick. 621 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,040 I shall be performing it tonight with young Griff. 622 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,000 The show about Chummy memories. 623 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,880 Not all of them happy. 624 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,720 The boy who drowned in the swimming pool. 625 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,040 Why do you bring that up? 626 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,200 Because everything that has happened today 627 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,000 is connected to that tragedy. 628 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,440 Do you remember his name? 629 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,720 It was...Jimmy? 630 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,320 Timmy? 631 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,840 No, sorry, it's gone. 632 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,480 But I remember his face and the terrible feeling 633 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,040 I could do nothing for him. 634 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,600 Where were you when it happened? 635 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,160 At the other end of the camp. 636 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,760 I heard the screams, I came running, and there was Mrs Chummy, 637 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:02,360 screaming for Mavis instead of doing something to help the child. 638 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,400 Poor boy was floating. 639 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,960 I pulled him from the water, but... 640 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,000 ..it was too late. 641 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,560 There must have been a coroner's inquest? 642 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,000 I told them Mavis had nothing to do with it. 643 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,760 She was detained looking after another child. 644 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,160 Then they asked me about Mrs Chummy 645 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:37,040 and why she hadn't dived in and saved him. 646 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,040 I presume you told them she couldn't swim? 647 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,480 How do you know? 648 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:53,280 Photographs, secreted in Mrs Chummy's house, 649 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,440 of her honeymoon. 650 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,280 Swimming in the sea at Nice. 651 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,720 If they had become public, 652 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,240 Mrs Chummy would have been charged with negligence 653 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,440 and you would have spent time in prison for perjury. 654 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,880 I'm not proud of what I did. 655 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,440 I only did it to keep this place going. 656 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,680 Billy! 657 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,480 That was his name. 658 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,440 Billy Fairfield. 659 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,720 KNOCKING 660 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,720 Five-minute call! 661 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,400 Thank you. 662 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,080 The show must go on. 663 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,840 APPLAUSE 664 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,760 Hello, everybody. 665 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,200 It's so sweet to see so many old faces. 666 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,000 But tonight's show is all about the lady 667 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,400 who made this place happen. 668 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,680 Dear Mrs Chummy... 669 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,680 APPLAUSE 670 00:34:55,680 --> 00:35:01,200 ..who welcomed us all to her Island of Dreams. 671 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,360 PIANO MUSIC PLAYS 672 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,800 # We're all chums at Chummy's 673 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:14,200 # Loyal to the end 674 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,560 # Come here as a stranger 675 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:22,760 # And you'll go home as a friend 676 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,920 # When you come to Chummy's 677 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,000 # All your dreams come true 678 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,560 # So come, come, come to Chummy's 679 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:40,040 # We're waiting here for you. # 680 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,920 APPLAUSE 681 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,160 MUSIC PLAYS 682 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,520 LAUGHTER 683 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,240 APPLAUSE 684 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,320 Of course! 685 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,160 Will you excuse me? 686 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,440 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 687 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,680 Sorry. Thank you. 688 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,040 WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE 689 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,080 KNOCKING 690 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,000 Mr Beauchamp, may I have a word? 691 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,360 Er, yeah. 692 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,680 How did you make those flowers appear? 693 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,800 A magician never tells. 694 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,000 No, of course. 695 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,840 In the radio studio, 696 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,200 after Mrs Chummy's death, 697 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,080 someone made a tape disappear. 698 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,640 And watching you tonight, I think I know who. 699 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,680 No. Oh, Mrs Chummy. I... 700 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,920 Just take some deep breaths. You'll be all right. 701 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,720 There must be a homicidal maniac about! 702 00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:38,280 You used Mavis' consternation as a distraction 703 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,360 to take away a vital piece of evidence. 704 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,000 I don't know what you're talking about. 705 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,320 And all for a boy named Billy Fairfield. 706 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,040 I presume he was your brother? 707 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,520 You see, if you translate Fairfield into French, 708 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,040 it becomes Beauchamp. 709 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,000 And you must have needed a new name 710 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,440 to come and work here. 711 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,600 Tell me, what's your real name? 712 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,240 Andrew. 713 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:10,720 Andrew Fairfield. 714 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,200 Tell me about your brother, Andrew. 715 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,000 Billy was kind. 716 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,240 And he was funny. 717 00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:24,480 And people used to say he was simple. 718 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,880 Slow learning. But I loved him more than anyone. 719 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,240 We came here as a family, and I'd never seen him so happy. 720 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,840 But then he wandered off. 721 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,240 And everyone said, "Don't worry, 722 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:40,240 "this is the safest place in the world." 723 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,320 I cannot imagine the pain you and your parents suffered. 724 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,000 They never got over it. 725 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,320 They died last year. 50 years old. 726 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,040 They looked 100. 727 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,640 So now it was up to you to find out the truth. 728 00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,120 I came here to work. But I only wanted one thing. 729 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,360 I-I wanted to ask you something. 730 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:08,760 Oh, yes? 731 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,560 Is it true, er, a boy once drowned in the swimming pool? 732 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:18,280 Oh, dear. Who's been putting poison in your delicate little ears? 733 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,760 One of the visitors. 734 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,840 Well, it was a long time ago. 735 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,720 H-How could it happen with so many people on duty? 736 00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:28,800 Well, Mavis should have been there, 737 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,080 but she'd just met a carpet salesman from Droitwich. 738 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,040 And I'd had a long day. 739 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:39,000 But the thing is, he was abnormal. 740 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,720 Mentally defective. 741 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:43,200 It was a blessing in disguise for the poor family. 742 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,120 I know she didn't kill him. But she didn't care. 743 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,400 And that's enough. 744 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,000 So now you had two people to blame. 745 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,240 Oh, cooey! 746 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,240 SHE GIGGLES 747 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,000 You took Mavis' apron 748 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,440 and went to the radio studio and prepared to kill 749 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,440 two birds with one stone. 750 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,440 SHE CHOKES 751 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,520 And now you want me to tell the police? 752 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,000 To save Mavis' life? 753 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,120 I want you to save your own soul. 754 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,760 You love your brother, 755 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,000 and if you want to be with him in heaven... 756 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:28,920 ..you need to do the right thing. 757 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,320 You need to give up all thoughts of revenge. 758 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,520 No. 759 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,320 I made Billy a promise - 760 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:41,400 to punish anyone who failed him or who lied about what happened. 761 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,960 Right, then! 762 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:47,400 Now we place Uncle Jock into the cabinet of death! 763 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,000 Are you all right in there, Uncle Jock? 764 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,600 I think so! 765 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,120 Get on with it? It's a very tight squeeze. 766 00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,600 Stop! 767 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,440 I think you should put down that sword. 768 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,320 HE WHISPERS: It's OK, Father. This thing's retractable. 769 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,840 Right, then. Here it goes. 770 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,920 Straight through the heart. 771 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,640 THEY GASP 772 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,000 Are you all right? I'm fine. 773 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,560 It's not the first time I've died on stage. 774 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,240 Help! Get me out of here! 775 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:25,800 Can anyone tell me what's going on? 776 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,320 This young man can. 777 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,040 And I would ask you to listen to him without prejudice. 778 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,000 BELLS CHIME 779 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,520 Well, well. 780 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,520 The garden's looking rather splendid, Father. 781 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,000 Well, I think on balance there's more alive than dead. 782 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,720 But I'll be glad when Mrs McCarthy returns. 783 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,160 Ah, look who it is! 784 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,040 Sergeant. Father Brown. 785 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,680 Mavis Jug. How nice to see you. 786 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,800 Oh, it's nice just to be out in the daylight. 787 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,960 I thought I was going to be stuck in that cell forever. 788 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,000 And yet, here you are. 789 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,240 And I notice... 790 00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:03,720 I know! 791 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:05,440 It's like a dream come true. 792 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:06,680 Congratulations. 793 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,920 Hey, how did you manage it? 794 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,040 Well, you know Mrs Chummy didn't have any children? 795 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,800 It turns out she's left the holiday camp to her entire staff. 796 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,400 So Griff is going to take over as head entertainer. 797 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,000 And, oh, Jock is going to carry on living with us. 798 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 But I don't think he's up to performing any more. 799 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 But we'll look after him. 800 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,280 That's very kind. 801 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,480 And I wish you all the best in your endeavours. 802 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:30,760 Thank you. 803 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,000 Oh! And we've got a talent show next week, 804 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,560 so if either of you want to give us a turn. 805 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,520 Well, I do know one or two musical songs. 806 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:41,840 Well, go on, then. 807 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:51,720 # List to me, while I tell you, of the Spaniard that blighted my life 808 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,160 # Fa-la-la 809 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:59,400 # List to me, while I tell you, of the man who stole my future wife 810 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,600 # 'Twas at the bullfight that we met him 811 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,880 # We were watching his daring display 812 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,640 # While I just nipped outside for some nuts and a programme 813 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,520 # The dirty dog stole her away 814 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,000 # He will die 815 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,640 # He will die 816 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,120 # He will die-diddly-die-die-die 817 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,440 # He shall die 818 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,360 # He shall die 819 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,680 # I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion 820 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,800 # When I catch him bending tonight! # 821 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,120 APPLAUSE