1
00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:03,620
♪♪

2
00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:08,120
Hey, watch out!
Pregnant girl comin' through.

3
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,540
Man, I'm hungry.

4
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,080
(all chattering)

5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,790
Sad I had to specify "girl."

6
00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:15,670
Are you okay?
Are you comfortable?

7
00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:16,920
All right, nobody touch her!

8
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,920
The doctor said
she could explode
at any moment!

9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,380
Give birth, Danny.
The doctor said that I could
"give birth" at any moment.

10
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,290
But I'm fine, all right?
It was just false labor.

11
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:28,210
Apparently it happens
all the time.

12
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:30,080
Well, having been pregnant now
for almost four hours,

13
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,750
I think I'd know
for sure if a person

14
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,080
was really
about to crawl head first

15
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,380
out of my body.

16
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:38,120
Oh, she'll know.
Trust me.

17
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,210
That chick from Alien
will have nothin' on her,
just-- (makes explosion noise)

18
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:42,120
Mom!

19
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,540
Right, right, right.

20
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:45,000
But good news...
the second one

21
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,210
just pops right out.

22
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:51,000
One minute you're dancin'
at a Bon Jovi concert, yeah...

23
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,620
and the next, someone's
all like, "Oh my gosh,

24
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,000
who dropped a baby
on the floor? Ohh..."

25
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:59,080
I can't believe they made me
buy you a ticket.

26
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,710
Now are you sure that
there is absolutely nothing
we can get you?

27
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,170
I am feeling very maternal.

28
00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:08,830
Well, I know it's late,
but I am a little hungry.

29
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:11,210
-Maybe pizza?
-Ooh, perfect.

30
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,120
But you know what would
be even better? Pancakes!

31
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,790
-Ooh!
-Oh, no, I'm-- I'm not really
in the mood for pancakes.

32
00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:18,040
Yes, yes! And there's that place
on Bleecker that's open
all night!

33
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:22,460
-(everyone talking at once)
-I love that place!

34
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,250
They'll be back.

35
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,750
-Oh my, okay...
-(everybody talking at once)

36
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,710
(theme music playing)

37
00:01:31,710 --> 00:01:34,500
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪

38
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,290
♪ Can take your life
and change direction ♪

39
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,960
Are you done?

40
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,080
Yeah, I'm done.

41
00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:54,080
-Are you done?
-Okay!

42
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,120
Oh, my-- Honey, look.

43
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,290
I know the doctor said

44
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,750
I shouldn't do anything
too strenuous,

45
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,540
but do you think I could
not do anything

46
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:00,750
in my own apartment?

47
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:01,960
Well, what if we're all alone

48
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,120
and I have to go to the bathroom

49
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,080
or get some water?

50
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,250
What then, Riley, what then?

51
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,500
Ah, yes, what then?

52
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,920
You know, well, now that
you mention it,

53
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,250
um, I am a little thirsty.

54
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,790
Right. I'm on it.

55
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:13,880
Uh, hey, Ben. I need
to get Riley some water.

56
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,500
You mind watchin' her
while I go to the kitchen?

57
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,670
You got it.

58
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,080
We're back!

59
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,120
So cute.
How was dance class today?

60
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,540
Eh, you know, it was all right.

61
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:26,330
Mainly sat in the back
with the only other cool mom

62
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,580
and made fun of the awkward
and ugly kids, so...

63
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,290
I was actually talking
to my daughter.

64
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:32,420
-Oh.
-Yeah.

65
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,210
So, how was dance class today?

66
00:02:34,210 --> 00:02:36,000
Who's my mommy?

67
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,620
Wow. Okay. Your mommy,
that's new.

68
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,880
Well, we talked
about this, remember?

69
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,210
Her name's Angela
and she lives in Los Angeles.

70
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:46,750
Why?

71
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,420
We just got lucky, I guess.

72
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:49,920
Ben!

73
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,670
I'm sorry, the books all say
to be honest!

74
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:54,120
What's all this about, anyway?

75
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,080
Well, I'm guessing
it has something to do

76
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,170
with the mother/daughter
talent show

77
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,380
Emma's class is having.

78
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,170
Mother/daughter talent show?

79
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:03,120
Okay, this is wrong
on so many levels.

80
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,120
How dare they make Emma feel bad
for only having a father.

81
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,120
That's my job.

82
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,460
Hey, hey, hey,
all this anger
and negativity

83
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:11,420
is stressing Riley out.

84
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:12,880
Here. I'll hold it
while you take a sip.

85
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,580
Ahh! You wanna know
what's really stressing me out?

86
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,210
How cold it is in here.

87
00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:22,250
Uh, Danny, do you--
do you think you could
go get my blue blanket,

88
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,620
and if you don't see it,
just keep looking.

89
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,040
It's definitely real.

90
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,960
Got it!

91
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,000
Oh, hey, Ben!

92
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,210
You've gotta promise
if anything happens,

93
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,250
you'll be there for Riley.

94
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,040
You got it.
Treat her like the weird kid

95
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,620
who eats paste
and has mittens
pinned to his jacket.

96
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,920
Oh wait, that was you!

97
00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:45,580
Dude, I'm serious.

98
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,920
Brother to brother.

99
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,670
If I'm not there
when the baby comes,

100
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,830
you gotta promise
to be there to take care
of my wife and my son.

101
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,000
Yeah. Danny, of course,
I promise.

102
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:59,080
You hear that, baby?
We're on our own.

103
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,790
Oh, hey, man,
anything happening yet?

104
00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:04,170
No, but I don't
have time right now--

105
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:06,000
Oh, my god,
I'm so happy for you.

106
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,620
Tucker told me
about the false labor
and I totally get how stressful

107
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,080
that can be.
I went through it for weeks,

108
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,750
but at least
it increased the value
of my push gift.

109
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,250
I got this sapphire ring.

110
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,290
I'm sorry, your what gift?

111
00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:17,500
Push gift.
It's what a husband
gets his wife

112
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,670
for pushing a bowling ball
through a straw?

113
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,580
You got her one, right?

114
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,920
No...

115
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,080
Oh. Hello, worst husband ever.
(laughs)

116
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,170
Way to start off
on the wrong foot.

117
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,880
Babe, babe, babe...
remember we talked

118
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,290
about not saying everything
that comes into your mind?

119
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,960
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah. This is one of
those moments.

120
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,080
-Oh.
-It's gonna be fine, man.

121
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,540
No. No, it's not gonna be fine.

122
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,290
The baby's gonna come,
and I'm gonna be standing there

123
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:44,120
with nothing in my hand
besides a used umbilical cord!

124
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,330
That's it.
I'm gonna go down

125
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,540
to the jewelry store
on the corner.

126
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,170
Dude, what is the matter
with you?

127
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:50,830
Man, you don't wanna
pay retail. Dude.

128
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:56,330
Man, look, I'll hook you up,
okay? Trust me, man,
I got a guy.

129
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,960
(giggles) Suddenly
this necklace you got me
doesn't seem so special.

130
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:04,960
Yes, I knew she'd start
asking questions someday,

131
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,080
but that's not
what this is about.

132
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,460
It's about me
not being enough for her.

133
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,080
Seriously, what does she need
a mom for?

134
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,620
-There's nothing I can't handle.
-Well, honey, let's circle back

135
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,830
to that when it's time
to discuss her period,

136
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,210
or her first bra,
or birth control--

137
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:19,830
Mom, none of those things
are ever happening!

138
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,620
Okay, maybe it would be good
for both of us if I had someone.

139
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,290
A partner.

140
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:28,790
A real mom for Emma.

141
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,460
Maybe I should've never
stopped looking for Elle.

142
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:33,080
Yeah, why did you stop?

143
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,250
Uh, maybe 'cause
every single time
I ever mentioned her,

144
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:36,790
you ridiculed
and mocked me?

145
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,460
(scoffs) Well,
if you're gonna
let that stop you,

146
00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:42,120
I'm surprised you can
get out of bed in the morning.

147
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,080
It's hard! It's really hard!

148
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,170
You know what I'm gonna do?

149
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:48,670
I am gonna find Elle.

150
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:51,500
Okay, you do that.
I looked for almost nine months.

151
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,290
But I'm goin' down
to that dance studio.

152
00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,380
There's no way
they're stoppin' me

153
00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:56,170
from dancing
with my daughter.

154
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,790
Unless I have to wear tights.

155
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,080
I want people to see
that I'm a good dad,

156
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,880
but that's
all I want them to see.

157
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,290
So where's your guy?

158
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,080
He'll be here, all right?

159
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,620
But remember...
this is a negotiation.

160
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:16,120
A dance, all right?
There'll be a little back
and forth, but in the end,

161
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,380
you will have a beautiful,
almost-diamond bracelet
for Riley.

162
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,120
Hey. Who's this?

163
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,210
My associate.
Do you have the merchandise?

164
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,500
Yeah.
This is gonna cost you 500.

165
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,960
Oh, that sounds
really reasonable.

166
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,670
But there is no way
that that is happening.
(laughs)

167
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,710
To be honest with you,
man, we only brought 200
with us.

168
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,120
Oh, no! I grabbed that envelope
I keep in my sock drawer

169
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,120
on the way out.
It's got like 2,000 in it.

170
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,420
Plus I might have
a little more in my wallet.

171
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:47,250
So, can I assume that--
okay, yeah.

172
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:48,460
And I'll take
the cell phones, too.

173
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,920
Yeah. W-- We don't
have cell phones.

174
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,420
Oh... no, I got mine.
Here, I'll call yours.

175
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,170
(phone ringing)

176
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,420
And how dare you
make my little girl
feel different?

177
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,000
-Ooh, hey, Benji--
-But even more important,

178
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,170
make me answer
difficult questions

179
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,080
I'm not emotionally equipped
to deal with.

180
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,210
-Ben--
-Not now, Mom,
this baby daddy's on a roll.

181
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,460
This should be
about the children.

182
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,080
Okay?
Some of these kids
have two moms,

183
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,670
some of 'em
have two dads.

184
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,710
And there's that one girl
who's got two of each,

185
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:18,710
which just seems
like overkill.

186
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:23,080
Uh-huh. And if you look
at the bottom of the flyer,

187
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,040
you will see that this
is an all-inclusive event.

188
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,460
And the girls are free
to perform with whomever
they choose.

189
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:32,170
Yeah, that's what I was trying
to tell you.

190
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,000
I did not see that.

191
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,880
But it's good to know
that you'll be incorporating
some of my suggestions.

192
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,290
Hey... your name
isn't Elle, is it?

193
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:44,170
Mom, I think I would know
if she was Elle.

194
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:46,500
-Come on, let's get outta here.
-Ooh wait, can we go out
the back?

195
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,830
The other cool mom and I
are in a fight, and I don't
wanna run into her.

196
00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:53,040
Turns out the awkward kid
I was makin' fun of was hers.

197
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,670
Is he here? Oh, did I miss him?

198
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:57,830
Is who here?

199
00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:58,920
I don't know his name.
I saw him

200
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,250
almost nine months ago,

201
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,290
and I'd about given up hope,
but then I was across the street

202
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,580
and I thought I saw him
through the window, but then
there was this bus,

203
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:06,420
and this horse,
and-- It's a long story.

204
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,460
But if you could just give me
the name and number of the guy

205
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:10,290
who was just in here,
that would be great.

206
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:15,790
No problem. Because clients
love it whenever we give out
their personal information.

207
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:19,250
Right. But at least I know
he's a client.

208
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,170
Of course, with my luck,
he's probably married.

209
00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:23,170
Oh, he is definitely
not married.

210
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,120
Yes! I knew it!

211
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,170
I knew he was single.
Please, you have to help me.

212
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,960
There's honestly
nothing I can do.

213
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,040
Are you having a stroke?

214
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:49,210
No! I just thought
you might be interested
in this.

215
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,420
Oh... yeah, no,
I don't have a kid.

216
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:55,250
But he does!
He's coming to the show!

217
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:59,170
Yes. I'll just come to the show
and then I can finally meet him,
it's gonna be perfect.

218
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:02,960
Yeah, I'd lower
those expectations
a bunch.

219
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,580
Well, I did it!
I had it out

220
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,920
with the dance studio,
and they definitely see it
my way.

221
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,000
-Well, I--
-Just let me
have this one thing!

222
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,540
Hey, Emma, so it's not
gonna be a problem anymore.

223
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:18,290
You get to dance
with Daddy.

224
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,080
I want my mommy.

225
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:23,380
Okay. No problem.

226
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:26,170
That doesn't break Daddy's heart
into a million pieces at all.

227
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:29,920
Welcome to the dark side
of parenting.

228
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,540
Ohh!
Speaking of parents,
I think I'm about to be one.

229
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,920
The baby is coming!

230
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,920
-Oh, god! Okay,
all right. You guys--
-Oh! Go, go.

231
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,250
(Ben chattering)

232
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:41,170
You know what,
I think I'm gonna
sit this one out. Is that cool?

233
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,210
Hey... I'm so sorry.

234
00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:49,790
My smartphone got lost.

235
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,790
Turns out
it's not that smart.

236
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,170
It's fine, just be glad
it was another false alarm.

237
00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:57,330
Oh, by the way,
I guess we need a car seat

238
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,460
to take the baby home
from the hospital.

239
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,000
Yeah, I read that in a pamphlet

240
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,330
when I was just
flashing my vagina
to 12 med students.

241
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:07,170
Oh, we're on it.
But, do you think I could
borrow your credit card?

242
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,210
I think I might've
misplaced my wallet
as well.

243
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:17,040
Hey, did you hear that?
Now I know exactly
what to get Riley

244
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,250
for her push gift.

245
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,290
Dude, I'm tellin' you
right now, a car seat

246
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,830
is a horrible idea.

247
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,250
No, I'm gonna get her
the car to put it in.

248
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,420
Really? Seems like
a pretty big gift

249
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:29,380
for just sittin' around
with her feet up
for nine months.

250
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,250
If I don't get her a car,
what am I supposed
to get her?

251
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:34,420
And this is where
your friend Tucker
steps in, man.

252
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,120
While you were off
endlessly measuring
your wife's cervix,

253
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:41,080
I was coming up
with the greatest
push gift idea ever.

254
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,080
What do women like
even more than jewelry?

255
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,170
Being right?

256
00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:47,670
(elevator dings)

257
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:50,080
No... they like puppies.

258
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,420
I've got a guy.

259
00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:56,170
Really? Oh, my god,
this is the best idea ever.

260
00:10:56,170 --> 00:11:00,120
A new puppy and a baby
all in the same day.

261
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,580
She's gonna feel
like the luckiest girl
in the world.

262
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,210
Don't be upset.
You know it's just a phase
Emma's going through.

263
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,710
Yeah, whatever,
it's so not a big deal.
Die, die, die!

264
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,460
Are you sure you're okay?
The TV isn't even on.

265
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,080
Look... you know
she totally loves you.

266
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,290
Honestly, I'm just glad
my mom is doin' it.

267
00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:28,250
Last place I wanna
be right now is stuck
at some stupid rehearsal

268
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,380
with a bunch
of screaming kids
in tutus.

269
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:31,920
No-no.

270
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:34,920
What is it, Emma?

271
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,080
I wanna dance with you.

272
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,500
Me? You really wanna
dance with me?

273
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,120
Well, heck, yeah,
I'll dance with you.

274
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,420
See? I knew
it was just a phase.

275
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,210
And if we hurry,
we can be there
in time for rehearsal.

276
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:48,040
Oh my gosh,
this is gonna
be so much fun.

277
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:55,170
And it seems
I am being abandoned
by a whole new generation.

278
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:58,080
-And yet, I feel like somehow
you had a hand in this.
-(scoffs)

279
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,380
I don't care what you say,
but there is a good person
in there.

280
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:04,250
A very small person,
but she's in there.

281
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,170
-Beep, boop--
-Okay, stop it.

282
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,250
I have my moments.

283
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,790
And I'm going to continue
my good deed tour
and go find Emily.

284
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,710
-Don't you mean Elle?
-Dammit! God...

285
00:12:15,710 --> 00:12:18,170
That's a whole morning's worth
of work down the crapper.

286
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,540
God!

287
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,710
(babbling in
high-pitched voices)

288
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:28,670
(gasps)
Oh... my god,

289
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:32,290
that is the cutest puppy ever.

290
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,500
Oh, yes she is.

291
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,250
-Aww...
-(Danny and Tucker laugh)

292
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:39,670
-It's Riley's push gift.
-It was my idea, but you know
I'm lettin' him take the credit.

293
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:40,920
(laughs)

294
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,000
(laughing)

295
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, my god,
are you serious?

296
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:52,080
-You want Riley to take care
of a baby and a puppy?
-(elevator dings)

297
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,710
Oh god! (laughs)

298
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,670
Even I don't hate her
that much!

299
00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:58,250
(laughs)
You are a dead man!

300
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,830
God! A puppy!

301
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:04,830
Oh, man, Danny,
I worry about you,
you're slow, man! (laughs)

302
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,830
-So, a car?
-Yeah, a car sounds good.

303
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:15,830
You ready?

304
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:23,290
♪ Sweet pea,
apple of my eye ♪

305
00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:27,620
♪ Don't know when
and I don't know why ♪

306
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:33,040
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪

307
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:42,420
♪ Sweet pea,
what's all of this about? ♪

308
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:46,830
♪ Don't get your way,
all you do is fuss and pout ♪

309
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:51,920
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪

310
00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:02,040
♪♪

311
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:10,540
♪ Sweet pea,
keeper of my soul ♪

312
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:14,620
♪ I know sometimes
I'm out of control ♪

313
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:20,170
♪ You're the only reason
I keep on comin' home ♪

314
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,920
I love you, Emma.

315
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,790
Bam! You are never gonna believe
what I did!

316
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,500
Well, you know what?
I don't really care
what you did,

317
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,830
because I have been here alone
for almost three hours.

318
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,290
Oh, no, no, no,
I did get a break

319
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,670
when I had to help Ben
find a costume,

320
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,540
do Emma's hair,
and make them lunch.

321
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:43,620
But I literally have no idea
where my husband is,

322
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,250
this thing is just tap dancing
on my bladder,

323
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,000
and g-- I can't get the lid
off this mayonnaise jar!

324
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,170
Who is that?

325
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,290
Well, it's
a little anti-climactic now,

326
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:56,000
but this... is Elle!

327
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,120
Hi!

328
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,750
-This is Ben's Elle?
-Yeah.

329
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,170
-How did you do that?
-Well, I just retraced his steps

330
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,920
back to the dry cleaner
where he first met her.

331
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,540
So... do you remember Ben?

332
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:10,080
Well, um, no, not really,
but... he sounds amazing!

333
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:14,210
-So you--
-Yeah, a little bit.
(clears throat)

334
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,330
-So is he here?
-No, he's getting ready
for the talent show.

335
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,790
Okay, let's go.
Oh my gosh, Ben is gonna
be so surprised!

336
00:15:18,790 --> 00:15:21,000
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
you guys are not going
anywhere without me.

337
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,040
Um, just get the chair
from Ben's desk

338
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,170
and start pushin'.

339
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,040
Oh, my god,
we don't have the time.

340
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,420
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go!

341
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,290
Shut the door! God!

342
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,420
Hi, hi, I'm here.

343
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:37,710
I didn't miss it, did I?

344
00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:39,920
No. Wait... aren't you
supposed to be

345
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,210
in a giant bubble somewhere?

346
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:43,330
I put two pillows
under a blanket

347
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,330
so it looks like
I'm still there.

348
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:46,960
That's the one useful thing
you taught me.

349
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,710
Bonnie?

350
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:54,170
Oh. Hey, Liz.

351
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,920
What are you doin' here?

352
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,080
Honestly? Hoping to meet
the man of my dreams.

353
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,120
(laughs)
At a mother/daughter
talent show?

354
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,420
God, you're bad at this.

355
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:07,420
Ohhh! It's coming!

356
00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:08,960
The baby is really
coming this time!

357
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,540
Wait, are-- are you sure?

358
00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:12,380
Could you maybe just
cross your legs for a couple
minutes until we're done?

359
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,960
No, I can't just cross my legs,
because someone is trying

360
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,920
to crawl out of there.
Ow, ow, ow, ow,

361
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,170
and it feels like
he's trying to dig
a brand new tunnel.

362
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,540
Use the existing tunnel!

363
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,960
Oh! Okay! I need you
to text my phone.
Danny has mine.

364
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,210
Right! Danny, okay.

365
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,080
What's wrong?
What's going on?

366
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,790
-Oh god, ow!
-This is it, the baby's
really coming!

367
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,580
Okay, can't you just
cross your legs?

368
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,250
I mean, we're all
kind of in the middle
of something.

369
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,710
(grunting, gasping)

370
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,170
All right, you know what,
I will take her to the hospital,

371
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:37,000
you go on with Emma,
and just meet me there, okay?

372
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,620
I can't, I promised Danny--
Oh, right! Danny!

373
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,580
Okay, and... send.

374
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,790
Okay, Emma?
I am so, so happy
that you asked me

375
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:46,620
to do this with you.

376
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,580
But I really need to help
your Auntie Riley deliver
your new cousin.

377
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:51,170
I am so sorry, but Grandma
will dance with you.

378
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,250
Okay?

379
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,710
Okay, okay.
Oh, my god, Ben!

380
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,750
Ben, I almost forgot.
I found Elle!

381
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,710
-Really? Where is she?
-Second row.

382
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,040
-Here?
-Yes!

383
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,710
Oh, my god,
stop that.

384
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,330
That's really her!
Oh, my god, Mom,
I love you!

385
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,120
Ahhhh!

386
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,670
Right. Just
give her my information
and I'll see her later, okay?

387
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,330
-Okay, all right.
-Bye, sweetie.
Let's go. Let's go.

388
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,330
Okay. All right. Listen, kiddo.

389
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,670
It's showtime.
Okay? Lose the ukulele,

390
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:18,920
and don't get in my way
during my solo.

391
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,290
Five, six, seven, eight...

392
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,210
Dun-nah-dun-dun.

393
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:24,500
Wah-tah!
(grunts) What?

394
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,960
Ooh, g-- Ooh!

395
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,920
I have to say,
these babies are so popular,

396
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,210
we're actually chargin'
a thousand over sticker.

397
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:36,750
That sounds fair.

398
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,120
(phone buzzing)

399
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:43,330
Oh, my god. This is it!
Riley's havin' her baby!

400
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,170
We gotta go!

401
00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:46,670
-Hey! What are you doin'?
-(engine starts)

402
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:48,620
Hang on!

403
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,000
-(crashing sound)
-Oh!

404
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:55,170
-(clattering sound)
-You know what? Thank you
for the test drive.

405
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:56,790
I think-- I think
we're just gonna keep looking.

406
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:01,330
Ohhh!

407
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,670
Ahhh!

408
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:06,170
Riley, you have to calm down.
It's all gonna be fine!

409
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:09,170
Really? Because it doesn't
feel fine from where
I'm sitting.

410
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,170
Ahh! Where's the doctor?

411
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:14,500
The clinic's
a little understaffed,
but they paged someone,

412
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:18,120
and worst case scenario,
I've actually done this before.

413
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,210
You stay away from me!

414
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,080
I'm Dr. Ryan.
So what's the problem?

415
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,000
Oh, you know
just a little bloating...
I'm having a baby!

416
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,330
Oh, wow, right.

417
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,670
Yes, you are!
And here it comes.

418
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,170
Wait. It's you.

419
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:38,210
It's really you.

420
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:40,120
My god, it's you!

421
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,460
I can't believe it!

422
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:43,250
I was just at a dance studio
looking for you

423
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,380
when I got paged.

424
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,170
I know, I saw you!
I'm Ben.

425
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,170
-I'm Elle.
-I'm dying!

426
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,080
-Right!
-Oh, and this isn't mine.

427
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,920
Good to know.
Okay, I can do this.

428
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,290
Uh, you can do this?
Haven't you done this before?

429
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,620
Well, not on an actual person,
but it'll be fine.

430
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,170
So, you're a doctor?

431
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,710
Yeah. Well, almost.
Fingers crossed.

432
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:05,250
Hey, maybe we can go out
for a drink sometime?

433
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:08,790
-Ahhh!
-Oh, my god, just give us
like two minutes?

434
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:10,960
I'm here!

435
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,710
The father?
Just in time.
I need you.

436
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,250
Riley, here,
hold my hand.

437
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:15,290
G-- Ohh, god!

438
00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:17,790
-Ow!
-Come on! Big push!

439
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,920
(both screaming)

440
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,750
Okay, give me one more.

441
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,620
(both screaming)

442
00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:26,120
(baby crying)

443
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,080
Is that it?
Did I do it?

444
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,960
You did it.
And he's perfect!

445
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:35,000
I can't believe it's really you.

446
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,290
You were amazing.

447
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,210
No, you were amazing.

448
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:41,040
Hey, can we all agree
that I was amazing?

449
00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:46,170
Hey, little buddy.
Are you ready to meet your mom?

450
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,210
I love him.

451
00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:03,250
So do I.

452
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,170
And I love you.

453
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,120
Hey, since you're already
gonna be watching one baby
tonight, can you watch Emma,

454
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,920
so I can go out with Elle?

455
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,210
So, Sweet Pea, you and I
have to talk.

456
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:25,420
I'm startin' to realize
that maybe I can't always
be your everything,

457
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:28,500
but I finally found that girl
we saw nine months ago.

458
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,750
Now, I don't know
what's gonna happen...

459
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:35,080
but if I do it right...
there's a chance that you
might finally

460
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,420
have a full-time mom.

461
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,880
What do you think?

462
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,290
I only need you, daddy.

463
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:48,250
I love you, sweetheart.

464
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:57,040
Well, little girl,
it's good to know

465
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,330
that we have each other.

466
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:00,380
Because no matter
what happens,

467
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,750
it's always just gonna
be the two of us.

468
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,880
No, Brad, not every
construction worker

469
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,210
that is whistling
is looking at you.

470
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:07,880
Hi, sweetie.

471
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,750
(all talking at once)

472
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,250
Oh my gosh...

473
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,120
Well, I take that back.

474
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,040
I don't think it's ever gonna
just be the two of us.

475
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,290
-(everybody talking at once)
-Riley: Oh, I can finally have
a glass of wine!

476
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:22,040
(chatter continues)