1 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,855 Shit! Fuck! 2 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,191 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... 3 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:41,475 ♪ When you go 4 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,769 ♪ Please don't leave your love in the sun 5 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,606 ♪ My heart would melt away 6 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,443 ♪ In the night with your twisted tongue 7 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:55,823 ♪ When you drop the bomb I'm blown away 8 00:01:55,990 --> 00:02:00,077 ♪ 'Cause I-I-I-I 9 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:04,248 ♪ Refuse to hide in the page of the story 10 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:08,127 ♪ I-I-I-I 11 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,881 ♪ Come out the box I won't say I'm sorry 12 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,677 ♪ We in the nuclear season 13 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,971 ♪ In the shelter, I survived this road 14 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,890 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 15 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:25,310 ♪ We in the nuclear season 16 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,271 ♪ Summer lovin' in the backseat gone 17 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,815 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 18 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,860 ♪ Now, I'm facing this on my own 19 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:37,739 ♪ 'Cause you tasted the blast and it shook your bones 20 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,285 ♪ I'm a warrior all alone 21 00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:46,039 ♪ In the field of lies, I won't go home 22 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,626 ♪ 'Cause I-I-I-I'm 23 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:54,548 ♪ Gonna burn my skin in the blaze of glory 24 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,051 ♪ I-I-I-I'm 25 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:02,973 ♪ Well, come out, your hands up, and say, "I'm sorry" 26 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,768 ♪ We in the nuclear season 27 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,146 ♪ In the shelter I survived this road 28 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,940 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 29 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,943 ♪ We in the nuclear season 30 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,446 ♪ Summer lovin' in the backseat gone 31 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,615 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 32 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:25,954 ♪ We survived nuclear seasons 33 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,207 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ 34 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,125 Looking for homemade, fresh baked goods? 35 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,085 Come to Terry's Country Bake Shop in Red Hook, 36 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,629 home of 'Family Circle' magazine's... 37 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,756 With its stunning natural beauty, 38 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,134 Fiji is the ideal holiday tropical paradise for couples. 39 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,677 Well, Dave, 40 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,096 while we didn't get the white Christmas we were hoping for, 41 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,766 Mother Nature may have a few tricks up her sleeve. 42 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,602 We're getting forecasts of a hurricane-force blizzard 43 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,354 coming tonight... 44 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,152 Oh, Megan. Right where I left you. 45 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,905 - How adorable. - Caught me red-handed. 46 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:04,534 I'm just... I'm such a sucker for the classic American novel. 47 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,081 - Bad day? - No. I'm just exhausted. 48 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,085 Yeah, I know. Me too, right. Phew. 49 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:17,172 Maybe it's time to get a job. 50 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,007 You're telling me. 51 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,676 Yes. I am. 52 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,594 I look for fulfilling work all the time. 53 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,972 I just happen to be taking a break whenever you're around. 54 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,974 It's like studying when Mom is watching. 55 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,892 Did you talk to your parents about the lease? 56 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,560 Because the deadline's on the first 57 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,479 and Cedric is willing to take over if you... 58 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,649 Yeah, no, I haven't made a decision on that yet, per se... 59 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,986 How did you not make a decision yet? 60 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,321 I mean, what did you do today? 61 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,448 Or what did you do this week? 62 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:46,493 I did Christmas. 63 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,706 And I also started online dating. 64 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,042 Seriously? Ah! 65 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,004 Yes. Yeah, shut up. 66 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,006 No, I'm proud. 67 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,882 You meet anyone? 68 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:04,177 I said 'started'. I'm not a machine. 69 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,347 Oh, oh, and I also really like 70 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,933 that idea of going Dutch on principle 71 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,019 except, you know, I don't have any money 72 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:15,856 so it's kind of more of an intellectual exercise. 73 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,026 Hey, where are you going? You just got home! 74 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,695 Cedric's friend is having this birthday thing at this bar. 75 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,780 So then you're not cooking dinner? 76 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,451 Nah. Yeah. 77 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,330 Do you wanna come? 78 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,957 Well, it kind of depends on the cake situation. 79 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,625 Well, the birthday boy is single. 80 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,169 He's not the brightest but he's pretty, 81 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,796 so he's perfect for a one-night stand. 82 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,965 I don't know. Do you think I'm ready? 83 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,176 Who cares? I'm ready for you to be ready. 84 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,637 I mean, seriously, how long has it been? Aren't you horny? 85 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,306 I knew you two little freaks be having 86 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,974 these type of conversations when I'm not around. 87 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,642 I knew it! Especially you. 88 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,020 - Hi, Cedric. - I knew it. I caught you. 89 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,813 Well, yes, no, I'm horny, 90 00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,817 but I'm also somewhat lazy, sometimes. 91 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:04,488 So, um, the two counteract, like... like duelling wizards. 92 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:07,157 Not anymore. Tonight is the night. 93 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,534 - Faiza's setting me up. - I'm thinking Ben. 94 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,119 I like that. That's cool. 95 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,915 Ben. Whoop! 96 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,879 - What up? - Hi. 97 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,422 Er, ID, please. 98 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,216 - Oh, I'm a girl. - Er, no. 99 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,801 I'm sorry, you look kinda young. 100 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,636 Take it like a compliment, alright. 101 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,015 Shit! 102 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,518 How did you lose your ID again? You don't go anywhere! 103 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,104 OK, wait, look, I am old enough, I swear. 104 00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:39,398 Do you see that? Right there? It moves. 105 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,274 Oh, my God. Megan. 106 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,611 Hi. ID? 107 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,657 Oh, shit... 108 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,534 Awkward... 109 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,787 Hey. 110 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,749 I heard you're doing good. 111 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,501 From who? 112 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,338 I don't know. I just said that to be nice. 113 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,006 Oh. 114 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,637 Chris, I think this girl's trying to get by you. 115 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,099 Oh, no. Er, this is... This is Becca. 116 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,726 Becca, this is Faiza and Cedric and Megan. 117 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:19,438 Megan and I, we were together for a bit. 118 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:23,859 Is that the abridged version? Just like that? 119 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,778 You two coming in or what? 120 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,406 Nice to meet you. 121 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,867 Good seeing you, Megan. 122 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:35,704 I don't even wanna hear you guys say it. 123 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,540 If we knew he was gonna be here I would have warned you. 124 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,500 This is a serious pattern. I am regressing. 125 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,628 Last year I was in college and I was Chris's fiancé 126 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,422 and I drank wine in restaurants. 127 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,800 And now I am at home all day in my underwear, 128 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,928 and I'm nobody's nothing, and I can't even get into a bar. 129 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,764 What is happening to me? I am going backwards! 130 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,433 I am Benjamin Button-ing! 131 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,185 He moved on. So what! So can you. 132 00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,728 I say take a cab home, 133 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,646 get on that dating site, pick a cute guy. 134 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,940 No drinks. No dinner. Just a hook-up. 135 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,485 Do... OK, you can't order it. 136 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,403 It's not Edible Arrangements! 137 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,780 Er, yeah, you can. You have tits and the internet. 138 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,159 - Cedric, back me up. - Internet. Tits. 139 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,243 Let's go. 140 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,870 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 141 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,580 Go get 'em, tiger. You got this. 142 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,375 Right? 143 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,986 Ah! 144 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:54,699 ♪ All my life There you go 145 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,369 ♪ Oh, please stay 146 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,038 ♪ Just this once 147 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,541 ♪ Anyway 148 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,420 ♪ All my life There they go 149 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:11,633 ♪ Oh please stay For the night... ♪ 150 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,218 Nope! 151 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,345 ♪ Anyway... ♪ 152 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,603 OK. 153 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,398 Fuck it. 154 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,276 He moved on. So can I. 155 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:43,873 Keepin' it lower case. Keepin' it casual. 156 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,004 Really?! 157 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,467 OK. Come on. 158 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,762 The bar is so low, it's so very low. 159 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,234 I sound like a computer virus. 160 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,654 Awe... some. 161 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,740 OK. 162 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:22,579 ♪ All my life There you go 163 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,498 ♪ Oh, please stay 164 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:30,295 ♪ Just this once Anyway... ♪ 165 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,256 "Hang out." 166 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,675 ♪ There they go 167 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:39,929 ♪ Oh, please stay For the night 168 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,932 ♪ Anyway... ♪ 169 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:04,412 Wait! Oh, shit. 170 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,665 Er... 171 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,180 Safety first. 172 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,901 Hey, there. 173 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,986 Oh, man, I was just... I was just so sure 174 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,072 I was gonna see a close-up of a penis. 175 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,657 Um, yeah. Me too. 176 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,620 Wow. You are really pretty. Really pretty. 177 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,456 Er, anyway, so this is me - 178 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:54,170 soak it in, and this is my apartment. 179 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:58,633 As you can see, it's a magical wonderland. 180 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,636 So do I pass the test? 181 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:05,223 - Or... - Um... yes. 182 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,808 I think so. 183 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,102 I've actually... I've never done this before. 184 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,104 - Me neither. - No. No, no. 185 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,773 Like, I know that people say that, 186 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,442 but I REALLY... I haven't. 187 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,736 - Nothing. - I know. Me neither. 188 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:21,114 Oh. Good. Um... 189 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:26,453 OK, well, I guess then I will see you soon? 190 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,748 That is awesome. I mean, that is cool. Sweet. 191 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,250 I will... That would be a very nice thing to happen, Megan. 192 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,170 - I will see you soon. - OK. 193 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,381 OK. 'Bye. 194 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:44,888 I cannot believe I'm schlepping to Brooklyn for a booty call. 195 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,681 That is fucking scandalous. 196 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,017 I don't think it shut off right. 197 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,602 No! No, the TV! 198 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,529 Alright. Shit. Stay calm. 199 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,990 Is that a... Is that a burglar alarm? 200 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,743 Did you sleep with your coat on? 201 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,455 Yeah. I get cold. You should get the intruder! 202 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,338 Alarm reset. 203 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,176 - False alarm. - That's so weird. 204 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,845 It's a bummer that it woke us up, though, 205 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:28,640 but I should get going. 206 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,393 Um... I had a great time. 207 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,937 Thank you. 208 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:38,525 It's, er... perfect for what I needed, so... 209 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,244 Awesome. 210 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,972 Ambitious. 211 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:20,108 That's... some alarm you got there. 212 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,277 Yeah, I don't even remember setting it. 213 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:26,114 For 11:04. Hmm. Weird. 214 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,119 Uh, morning, Megan. 215 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,664 Good morning, Alex. 216 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:38,084 It's, er... Alec, actually. 217 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,919 Yeah. 218 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,297 What'd I say? 219 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,173 Alex. 220 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,219 Do your way one more time. 221 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,931 Alec. It's got a 'C' at the end of it. 222 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,975 Yeah. It's OK. 223 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,560 Gotcha. Sorry. 224 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,937 Well, um... 225 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,857 ...I had a blast. 226 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,569 So thank you for having me. 227 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,279 You're welcome. 228 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,823 My only concern is how we're gonna sugar-coat this 229 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,533 when we tell our grandkids how we met. 230 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,827 Right? 231 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,497 Yeah. Um, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, huh? 232 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,124 So do you wanna grab breakfast 233 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,043 or do you normally just take off? 234 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,254 "Normally"? 235 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,505 Huh? 236 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,133 You said "normally". 237 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,594 Just... like I do this so much 238 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,472 that I'd have a normal and an abnormal version of it. 239 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,223 That's... yeah, that's not what I meant. 240 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:36,684 I have no idea how often you do this. 241 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,020 I told you last night that this is my first time 242 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,065 doing anything, you know, remotely like this. 243 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,608 Yeah, but... come on. 244 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,028 Come on. What? 245 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,739 Megan, do you expect me to believe 246 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,325 this is your first one-night stand ever? 247 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,451 Yes! 248 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,578 I mean, the only reason that I'm here 249 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,121 is because my roommate, 250 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,790 she peer-pressured the shit out of me. 251 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,416 Yeah, she 'sexiled' you or whatever, right? 252 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:05,463 Exactly, and yet I am sensing some distinctly judgey vibes 253 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,006 coming from your side of the bed, 254 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,717 which is odd considering the teamwork involved. 255 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,220 There's no judgey vibes coming from this side of the bed. 256 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,138 Honestly, I really admire what you did. 257 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,307 I wish more girls were that forward. 258 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,352 'Forward'. There we go with the slut thing again. 259 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,937 I'm not calling you a slut! 260 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:22,605 I'm calling you a girl 261 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,565 who went over to a stranger's house at midnight. 262 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,944 If only there was a word for someone who does that. 263 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,029 Wow! You know what? Screw you! 264 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,656 That was a joke. I'm sorry. 265 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,533 You invited me here, just remember that. 266 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,661 That's not quite how it happened but it doesn't matter. 267 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,371 Look, can we please just eat breakfast? 268 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,207 I make oatmeal with a little smiley face made out of jelly. 269 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,209 And it's not slutty at all. 270 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,752 You know what, save your oatmeal. 271 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,295 I think I'm gonna take off. 272 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,215 But thanks for having me, it was awesome to get to know you. 273 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,800 Have a nice life, Alex. 274 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,343 OK, cool, well, I'm just gonna assume 275 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,262 that time was on purpose because I told you 276 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,597 my name is Alec with a 'C', like, a dozen times. 277 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,975 It wasn't, but don't worry, you just have a stupid name. 278 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,477 OK! Cool! Well, 'bye. It was lovely having sex with you! 279 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,146 Oh, I wish I could say the same. 280 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,356 Sounded like you had a pretty good time last night. 281 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,025 You know what? Don't believe everything you hear. 282 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,943 Especially when it's something like, "Hey, Alec - cool name." 283 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,320 What is that? Sounds like a first draft of a name! 284 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,531 - OK. Fuck you, Megan. - Fuck you back. 285 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:17,493 Ah. OK. 286 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,500 What? 287 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,262 Ow! Shit! 288 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,725 Imagine a sleeping little angel-faced angel. 289 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,852 OK. No, I'm the angel. 290 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,354 And this angel is being woken up 291 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:50,068 by a fucking junkyard dog in a hot girl body! 292 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,236 OK, and that's my morning. 293 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,113 Look, I can't... 294 00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:56,491 Ah. Mom, I will call you back. 295 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:02,205 Hi, there. It's Alec, right? 296 00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,956 Mmm. 297 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,918 What, is there a little snow outside? Yeah? 298 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,461 Mmm, well, New Yorkers... 299 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,379 I don't wanna say that you guys are pussies, 300 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,048 but, seriously, you should see what a winter 301 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,758 in Minnesota looks like. 302 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,135 I'll get you a cab. 303 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,929 Oh. Thanks. 304 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,480 Holy shit, that's a lot of snow! 305 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,568 - Hmm. - Hmm. 306 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,738 Hmm. Wow. 307 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,365 Hey, folks, 308 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,492 I hope you aren't planning on going anywhere anytime soon 309 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,035 'cause let me tell you something, 310 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,578 it ain't gonna happen, OK? 311 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,039 We are seeing record snowfalls! 312 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,916 This thing came in overnight 313 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:50,628 and has New York City in a total white-out! 314 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,339 We're talking about tens of thousands 315 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,550 of stranded holiday travellers. 316 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,886 The entire city transit system is shut down. 317 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,264 The streets have not even been ploughed! 318 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:04,725 The mayor's office is urging people to stay indoors 319 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,103 and to avoid all non-essential travel. 320 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,940 So get cosy, folks, 'cause it's gonna be a long weekend. 321 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,817 Faiza, you have to do something. 322 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,237 I cannot stay here. This is the worst. 323 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,780 Are you even watching the news? 324 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,198 There's nothing we can do. 325 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,450 See how nice this is? This could be every day. 326 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:22,869 Mmm. 327 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,412 But Cedric's an EMT! 328 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,123 Can't he, like helicopter me out of here, or something? 329 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,877 Is that Cedric? Is Cedric laughing at me? 330 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,420 No, no, no, no. 331 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,963 OK, just make the best of it 332 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,465 and we'll rescue you as soon as we can, OK, I promise. 333 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,009 No, no, no, no! 334 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,137 I would not be here if you did not slut me out! 335 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,722 Sorry, I can't hear you. 336 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,600 What? 337 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,519 I think the snow is messing with the... 338 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,104 ...with the satel... satellites! 339 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,857 - OK, 'bye! - 'Bye. 340 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,901 Faiza! 341 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,736 - Mmm. - Grab that ass! 342 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,782 This storm is literally going to dump 343 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,243 all over the Tri-State Area. 344 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:17,340 It's what I deserve. It's penance. 345 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,425 Wow, that is officially the worst review 346 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,093 my oatmeal's ever received. 347 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,804 It's what I get for slutting it up. 348 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,806 Um, so you really think God made this blizzard 349 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,475 to punish you for being slutty? 350 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,894 No. I don't think God did it. That's ridiculous. 351 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,480 I think my grandmother did and I just don't know how. 352 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,609 Right. That makes sense. 353 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:41,072 Well, I would prefer not to spend the next 24 hours 354 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,115 in an uncomfortable silence with you, 355 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,785 so why don't we just pretend that we never had sex? 356 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,370 Didn't happen. 357 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,705 Er, and then we can pretend that it's just the weather 358 00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,624 and not your passive-aggressive magical grandmother. 359 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:52,667 No. 360 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,294 That's like trying to get the toothpaste back into the tube. 361 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,214 You can't do it. It is out there. I have seen your penis. 362 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:01,676 You've implied I'm a slut. Those are big things. 363 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,636 Did you just call my penis big? 364 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,388 Er, no. No, I did not. 365 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,223 I called the implication of your penis big. 366 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,141 Well, it's still nice to hear. 367 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:13,604 You can't just erase the fact that two people had sex. 368 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,107 I think you underestimate us. 369 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,614 Hi, I'm Alec. 370 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,159 I'm Megan. 371 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,744 Megan, it's very nice to meet you. 372 00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,830 Um, what do you do for a living? 373 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,624 Oh, Jesus? That?! That's what we're doing? Er, no! 374 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,585 Seriously? Already? We just started. Mm-mm. 375 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,170 OK. 376 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,382 We are monitoring this situation very closely. 377 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,301 We're experiencing massive shutdowns 378 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,636 all over the Tri-State Area. 379 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:50,308 That includes Dutchess County, Harlan County, 380 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,560 Bronson County, 381 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,729 Middlesworth County... 382 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,398 ...Monmouth County. 383 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,609 Wow, how the time flies. 384 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,085 Alright, we'll try again. 385 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,712 But there are rules - 386 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,881 no upsetting questions. 387 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,467 I didn't realise it was one. 388 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,427 Well, now you do. 389 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,764 OK, I am trying very hard to think of a question 390 00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,391 that could in no way be construed as upsetting. 391 00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:39,190 Do you like... dogs? 392 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:41,859 A perfectly non-upsetting question. Good job. 393 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:45,404 Yes, I like dogs. 394 00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,448 Mmm. Me too. 395 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,785 I have to use the restroom. 396 00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:52,828 That's allowed. 397 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:16,143 What? 398 00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:24,360 "Damaged"? You don't know me! 399 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,761 Do you possibly have headphones? 400 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,724 Thank you. 401 00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:57,852 Um, Megan? 402 00:23:58,019 --> 00:23:59,395 What happened? 403 00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,773 What happened? You happened. What is that? 404 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:07,361 Oh, God. Arggh! 405 00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:09,363 Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. 406 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,282 No. No, no, no. You... just step away. 407 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,825 You are not cleaning that up. 408 00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:16,704 You will just hold it over my head. Go to your room. 409 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:19,582 I can handle this. 410 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,418 Gross. 411 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:27,339 Cold and gross. 412 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:34,096 It just keeps coming. 413 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:35,848 Hey, you gotta turn the knob! 414 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:39,310 No, I mean the punishments from the universe. 415 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:42,146 It's the flood! It's practically biblical! 416 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,023 Where the fuck is your plunger?! 417 00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:47,151 It should be right next to the, um... 418 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:50,362 Ah, shit! I let my buddy borrow my plunger. Dammit. 419 00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:52,781 That's why you never let your friends borrow plungers. 420 00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:54,950 There's, like, a thousand reasons. 421 00:24:55,118 --> 00:24:58,037 Look, just, er, shut the door. I'll deal with it later. 422 00:25:11,927 --> 00:25:15,721 Hey, I just thought of an idea that could fix everything. 423 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,515 Do you wanna get high? 424 00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:24,271 Yeah, me neither. That was just a test. 425 00:25:24,439 --> 00:25:27,650 Didn't know if you were a cop. Hmm. 426 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:34,740 Yep, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get high. 427 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,325 You don't care, do you? 428 00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:38,702 Your apartment. 429 00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:40,412 I'm warning you, though - 430 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:42,331 you're about to think that I'm really cool. 431 00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:44,959 My buddy made it - I don't know if you can tell, 432 00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:46,627 but he smokes a lot of pot. 433 00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:48,420 I try to encourage his creativity. 434 00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:52,049 No. I think it fits you. 435 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,518 Sorry, I'd open a window, but, you know... 436 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,312 It is a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend. 437 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,398 Hey! I'm a catch. 438 00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,693 I bet you 150 bucks you're gonna die alone. 439 00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:13,237 Well, my future smoking-hot widow 440 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,573 will gladly accept your money. 441 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:25,958 Hey, I'm just saying 442 00:26:26,126 --> 00:26:28,294 you could afford to take the edge off a little bit. 443 00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:30,337 Could be good for you. You should embrace it. 444 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:32,339 Yeah, I've gotten high before. 445 00:26:32,507 --> 00:26:34,216 Not with me. 446 00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,888 Fine. 447 00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:41,807 It better make you funnier. 448 00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:45,811 Yeah. Smoke that shit. 449 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:56,697 So earlier you asked what I did for a living 450 00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:58,907 and I kinda got a little feisty. 451 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,410 You? Feisty? Can't picture it. 452 00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:04,163 Well, the answer is... 453 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,461 ...I am less-than-employed at the moment. 454 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,046 I don't do anything. 455 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:15,174 See, last year I was able to say, "I'm a pre-med student," 456 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:17,801 which sounds kind of impressive, right? 457 00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:22,181 But then I graduated and I'm not allowed to say it anymore. 458 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:28,103 Um, I think your profile said 'pre-med student'. 459 00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:30,356 Yeah, no, I just haven't changed it yet. 460 00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:33,400 Didn't you make that profile two days ago? That's weird. 461 00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:35,527 What is this, like an interrogation?! 462 00:27:35,695 --> 00:27:38,572 - You got something to hide? - No, I just... 463 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,326 I think I'm just in that limbo phase. 464 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,079 It's not like your degree has instructions on it. 465 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,414 Well, boom! 466 00:27:47,582 --> 00:27:49,958 Home run! Twins win the World Series! 467 00:27:50,126 --> 00:27:52,461 Well, your degree did say 'pre-med', 468 00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:56,757 so you would think something follows that. 469 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,388 What was that? 470 00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:04,598 Hmm. 471 00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:12,064 So... 472 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:13,941 Why did you major in pre-med 473 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,651 if you didn't wanna go into medicine? 474 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,696 I always thought I'd change it but then I graduated. 475 00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:20,447 Whoops. 476 00:28:20,615 --> 00:28:22,074 Wait. How does that happen? 477 00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:26,286 Easier than you would think. What do you do for a living? 478 00:28:26,454 --> 00:28:29,164 I work at a bank. 479 00:28:29,332 --> 00:28:32,167 Wow. Fancy. Banking. 480 00:28:32,335 --> 00:28:35,754 No, just 'bank'. I'm an assistant manager. 481 00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:39,383 How does someone like you get into something that's so... 482 00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:41,218 - Wildly exciting? - Yes. 483 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,845 Yes. Um, I don't know. 484 00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,097 I mean, you know, like, when you're 17 485 00:28:45,265 --> 00:28:47,015 and you just wanna get out there 486 00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:49,143 and show the world everything that you have to offer, 487 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,811 because you have all this stuff to say? 488 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:54,481 I don't know what that feels like. 489 00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:56,024 I don't know. 490 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,736 I never felt like I needed a job to define my life. 491 00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:00,362 Do you like your job? 492 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,281 Since when are you supposed to like your job? 493 00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,907 I think our generation 494 00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,160 catastrophically misunderstands that. 495 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,747 Interesting. 496 00:29:19,132 --> 00:29:20,883 I forgot the food. I'm going back for it. 497 00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:24,011 Huh? No, no, no. Please. Allow me. 498 00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:30,267 - Well, now I am impressed. - Mm-hm. 499 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,562 'Cause it's like a butler that is also a rug. 500 00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:36,023 For the man who has everything except a rug. 501 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,900 Mmm. 502 00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:41,737 You know, I used to smoke back in college. 503 00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:44,239 But one summer I walked in on my parents 504 00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:47,159 smoking out of a vaporiser and watching Italian porn... 505 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:48,702 Oh, my God. 506 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:51,997 ...which is kind of the greatest anti-drug PSA of all time. 507 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:54,082 That is awesome! 508 00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:57,211 Kinda gross, but... It is... but it is funny. 509 00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:01,548 Growing up, all of my friends' parents were divorced, 510 00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:07,012 you know, but mine, they were always so happy. 511 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:11,350 They were just so disgustingly happy. 512 00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:15,687 It's a lot to live up to. 513 00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:18,816 I think it kinda messed me up. 514 00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,824 My parents are still married too. 515 00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,243 Yeah? Oh. Put it up. 516 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,536 What! 517 00:30:30,703 --> 00:30:33,997 Yep, when I was a kid I used to wish that they'd get divorced 518 00:30:34,165 --> 00:30:35,791 'cause I was jealous of all my friends 519 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,001 who got to have two Christmases. 520 00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:40,379 Uh-uh. 521 00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:41,922 - Mm-mm. - Mm-hm. 522 00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,465 - Mmm. - What? 523 00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:45,717 - You should turn this off. - You don't like this song? 524 00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:47,511 No. I love this song. 525 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,430 It's gonna make me wanna dance. 526 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:53,183 Yes. You should. 527 00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:55,018 - No. Trust me. - Yes! 528 00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:58,021 Oh, are you, like, a bad dancer? 529 00:30:59,065 --> 00:31:01,733 Oh, no. No, no, no. 530 00:31:01,901 --> 00:31:04,778 I am an epic dancer, 531 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,363 but you see... 532 00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:09,408 See, if you see me dance 533 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:12,286 you'll follow me around like a little puppy dog. 534 00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:14,496 And it'll be embarrassing for us both. 535 00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:19,084 So you have to stay here for your own safety. 536 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,044 Trust me on that one. 537 00:31:31,764 --> 00:31:34,683 ♪ And I'm so sick of you tonight 538 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:40,147 ♪ You never stay awake when I get home 539 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:43,567 ♪ It's something wrong with me Or something wrong with you 540 00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:48,447 ♪ I really wish I knew, wish I knew, wish I knew 541 00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,866 ♪ I'll give you candy I'll give you diamonds 542 00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:52,409 ♪ Give you pills 543 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,578 ♪ I'll give you anything you want 544 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:56,997 ♪ Hundred-dollar bills 545 00:31:57,165 --> 00:32:00,709 ♪ I'd even let you watch the shows you wanna see 546 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:04,838 ♪ Because you'd married me, married me, married me 547 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:09,343 ♪ Married me, married me, married me... ♪ 548 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:12,846 OK, um... 549 00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:15,432 So I would just like to... 550 00:32:16,476 --> 00:32:19,061 ...frame the next question in the context 551 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:21,855 that my diet doesn't normally consist of junk food. 552 00:32:22,023 --> 00:32:23,440 And with that in mind... 553 00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,984 Hypothetically... - Yep. 554 00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:32,074 ...if one were to need to make use of a bathroom... 555 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:35,869 ...how might one do that... 556 00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:39,790 ...in these special circumstances? 557 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,041 Stop smiling. 558 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:42,876 Oh... 559 00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:45,379 ...that's actually a great question. 560 00:32:48,424 --> 00:32:50,425 Um... 561 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:52,219 Are these your creepy neighbours? 562 00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:53,887 Are you the creepy neighbour? 563 00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,682 You're totally the creepy neighbour. Hmm. 564 00:32:56,849 --> 00:32:59,601 Hey, Miss Lo Pan? It's Alec. 565 00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:01,561 I just really need to borrow your plunger. 566 00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:03,146 It's kind of an emergency. 567 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:06,942 That wouldn't happen to be their mailbox, would it? 568 00:33:07,110 --> 00:33:09,444 Oh, yeah. You know what, they're probably away for the holidays. 569 00:33:09,612 --> 00:33:11,822 You did not just laugh! 570 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:15,033 - It's kind of funny. - Do you see this face? 571 00:33:15,201 --> 00:33:17,077 - This is my panic face. - Do we understand? 572 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,203 - Yeah. - OK. 573 00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,621 - We do. - Good. 574 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,749 Have no fear, the trusty coat hanger's here to save the day. 575 00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:25,877 Aw, shucks, I bet you say that to all the girls. 576 00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:28,964 We're just... we're kind of on a clock here... 577 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,507 I mean, there's a Plan B, 578 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,134 but it might sound kinda out there. 579 00:33:32,301 --> 00:33:33,719 We are not getting high again! 580 00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:35,262 Yes, we are. No, I'm just kidding. 581 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,431 The windows in this building, they don't really work right. 582 00:33:37,598 --> 00:33:40,267 So we can go out the window, climb up to the roof, 583 00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:41,810 go to the other side 584 00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:43,895 and then get in through the Lo Pans' fire escape. 585 00:33:44,063 --> 00:33:45,355 OK. 586 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:51,987 Maybe just you should do this. 587 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:53,989 I'm not breaking and entering alone! 588 00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:56,408 The whole reason we're doing this is for you! 589 00:33:59,078 --> 00:34:00,662 Er, why do you have that? 590 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,330 - My grandmother left it to me. - Mmm. 591 00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:04,124 Yep. All style complaints go to her. 592 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:06,126 Oh, I see. Mm-hm. 593 00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,045 Sweet. 594 00:34:20,808 --> 00:34:23,310 Let's do this! 595 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,868 You couldn't just shit in the sink, huh! 596 00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:45,207 - What's wrong?! - It's frozen shut! 597 00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:46,958 It won't budge! 598 00:34:47,126 --> 00:34:48,502 We gotta go back. 599 00:34:48,669 --> 00:34:51,004 There is no turning back! 600 00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:56,802 Whoa! What the fuck?! Are you kidding me? 601 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,721 Hey, are you fucking insane? 602 00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:01,306 I'm gonna have to pay for that! 603 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:04,351 I had to! They would totally understand. 604 00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:08,313 - Look, you are a ruiner. - I am not a ruiner! 605 00:35:10,149 --> 00:35:11,900 Sorry, I gotta pee. I had to! You understand. 606 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:13,443 - No, no, no, no... - You understand. 607 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:17,823 You are an asshole in so many languages! 608 00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:19,366 You understand. 609 00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:23,078 Oh, yeah. This pee feels so good. 610 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,460 Oh. 611 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:38,969 Whoops. Sorry. False alarm. 612 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,262 Yeah. 613 00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:48,562 Oh, God. 614 00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:16,506 Just so you know, I'm giving you the silent treatment too. 615 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:21,887 I just didn't know if you could tell and I wanted you to know. 616 00:36:33,065 --> 00:36:36,484 Hey, I think we've solved the mystery of the clogged toilet. 617 00:36:36,652 --> 00:36:39,821 Wait, what? No, no. I told you I would do that! 618 00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,406 What is this? 619 00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:42,949 - No. It's nothing. - What are you doing? 620 00:36:43,117 --> 00:36:45,619 That's gross. Megan, this was in a toilet. That's gross! 621 00:36:45,786 --> 00:36:46,661 OK? 622 00:36:46,829 --> 00:36:48,663 If you had a problem with the reading material, 623 00:36:48,831 --> 00:36:50,457 you could have just said something. 624 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,303 It's just some stupid article. 625 00:37:05,848 --> 00:37:09,768 It wasn't stupid, though. It was spot on. 626 00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:13,063 How pathetic is that? It's so pathetic. 627 00:37:20,863 --> 00:37:22,239 Do you really think 628 00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:24,824 my name sounds like the first draft of a name? 629 00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:31,915 Yeah. 630 00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,835 Like a good first draft, you know. 631 00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:38,088 Like, it's really close. 632 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,469 And did you really fake it? 633 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,808 - What are you talking about? - Last night. 634 00:37:49,976 --> 00:37:52,352 You know, when you were making 635 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,062 what I would describe 636 00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:55,772 as, like, banshee-esque screams of pleasure. 637 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,315 And then this morning 638 00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,985 you called into question their authenticity, so... 639 00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:02,070 Whoa, what happened to, 640 00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:05,031 like, "Hey, let's just pretend we never had sex?" 641 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:06,574 Yeah, I'm over that. 642 00:38:06,742 --> 00:38:09,077 Why are you even thinking about this again? 643 00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:11,329 I haven't stopped thinking about it. 644 00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:16,167 Oh, alright, well, see, 645 00:38:16,335 --> 00:38:19,170 I just said those things to hurt your feelings 646 00:38:19,338 --> 00:38:20,839 because you hurt mine, you know? 647 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:22,424 Yeah, I don't really buy that 648 00:38:22,591 --> 00:38:24,134 'cause I think women are most honest, actually, 649 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:25,927 when they're trying to hurt somebody's feelings. 650 00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:29,097 Fine, but this can't be the first time 651 00:38:29,265 --> 00:38:30,890 a woman's faked it for you. 652 00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:33,018 Er... it definitely was. 653 00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:34,728 You made your ex come, huh? 654 00:38:34,895 --> 00:38:36,771 Mm-hm. Yep. Pretty much all the time. 655 00:38:36,939 --> 00:38:38,356 Yeah? That often? 656 00:38:38,524 --> 00:38:41,568 And did she... did she come before or after you? 657 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:45,447 Usually we... we would come simultaneously. 658 00:38:45,614 --> 00:38:47,032 At the same time. 659 00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:48,742 - I'm telling you! - Yeah? Bullshit. 660 00:38:48,909 --> 00:38:50,285 Oh. That's mean. 661 00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,953 No, it's nothing to be ashamed of either. 662 00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:55,540 It's really hard to do. For guys it's so easy. 663 00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,208 It's just... You know, it's friction. 664 00:38:57,376 --> 00:39:00,754 But for girls there's a whole lot of intangibles down there. 665 00:39:00,921 --> 00:39:02,714 And it's bad that we fake it. 666 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:05,383 It's not good for you. It doesn't help us. 667 00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:06,926 It doesn't help the next girl. 668 00:39:07,094 --> 00:39:09,888 Hmm. Oh, but you're a really great kisser. 669 00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:11,765 - Mmm. - Yeah. You got that down pat. 670 00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:13,892 - I practise on my hand. - It's just... the other stuff. 671 00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,477 But I had a good time. 672 00:39:15,644 --> 00:39:16,895 OK. 673 00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:19,189 Well, yep, let's talk about this. 674 00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:22,650 So what, er... Yeah, what did I do wrong? 675 00:39:24,403 --> 00:39:26,363 OK, it's not about what you did wrong. 676 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:28,948 It's just how people sync up. 677 00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:30,784 You know, how they fit together. 678 00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:32,911 Mm-hm. And we didn't sync up well? 679 00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:35,372 - Do you think we did? - Well, it's the first time. 680 00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:37,082 It's awkward. You don't know what to say. 681 00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:39,292 You don't know what you're touching. It's awkward. 682 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:43,129 It's not like that changes after the first time. 683 00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:48,259 Well, I mean, eventually they learn what you like more, 684 00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:51,096 but you can never talk about it openly 685 00:39:51,263 --> 00:39:52,764 'cause guys are so sensitive. 686 00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:56,017 You know, suggesting just the tiniest thing 687 00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:57,685 and it freaks them out 688 00:39:57,853 --> 00:40:00,313 because then they think you've been thinking that every time. 689 00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:02,399 Then they get mad that you didn't say something earlier 690 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:03,942 and you didn't say something earlier 691 00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,485 because it would've been too soon. 692 00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:07,153 The only thing that there is to do 693 00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:09,155 is train them to recognise different levels of moans 694 00:40:09,323 --> 00:40:10,782 without them realising you're doing it, 695 00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:12,575 in my experience. 696 00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:17,330 - Wow. - It works. 697 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:19,124 Or maybe it's just me. 698 00:40:19,291 --> 00:40:20,667 No. It's like camp, you know? 699 00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:23,002 You have to do this activity with a partner, 700 00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:24,796 but you can't say anything 701 00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:26,339 so you're stumbling your way through it. 702 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,882 Yeah. It's just like camp. 703 00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:29,759 - Mm-hm. - What camp did you go to? 704 00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,302 Holy shit! 705 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:35,348 I just had a great idea. Do you feel it, the two of us? 706 00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,809 It's a pretty good opportunity right now. 707 00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:39,352 What... What is? 708 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,729 This. Right here. 709 00:40:41,897 --> 00:40:44,023 - I'm not... - You don't get it? 710 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:46,234 OK, look, listen to me - so we're trapped. 711 00:40:46,402 --> 00:40:48,528 We're, like, this incredible experiment right now. 712 00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:50,071 We're lab rats. 713 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,740 We've had sex, but we don't have feelings for each other, right? 714 00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:54,701 And as soon as that snow clears, you're gone. 715 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,244 Like Mexico gone. 716 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,288 We don't know any of the same people, 717 00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:00,915 so we're probably never gonna see each other again. 718 00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:02,250 Yes. 719 00:41:02,418 --> 00:41:04,752 So we can use this time to be honest with each other, 720 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,337 and we can give each other advice 721 00:41:06,505 --> 00:41:08,590 and constructive criticism to make each other better lovers 722 00:41:08,757 --> 00:41:10,842 for the next person that comes along. 723 00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:15,472 OK, firstly, you cannot pull off the word 'lovers'. 724 00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:17,056 I think I can. 725 00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:18,975 Secondly, what you are proposing is potentially... 726 00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:21,144 It's a horrible... It sucks! It's a bad idea. 727 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,479 - Don't... What?! - Are you kidding me? 728 00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:24,230 This is the best idea I've ever had! 729 00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,274 - That's so sad! - Look, Megan, listen. 730 00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,485 You can't just, like, drop a bomb on me 731 00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:30,403 like, "Hey, maybe you've never made a girl come 732 00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:31,946 "in your entire fucking life," 733 00:41:32,114 --> 00:41:33,865 and then say you don't wanna talk about it. 734 00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:35,492 I wanna talk! 735 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:38,661 Guys can't handle constructive criticism about that stuff. 736 00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:40,371 You'll get all pissy. 737 00:41:40,539 --> 00:41:44,501 No. I promise you that I will not get pissy if you don't. 738 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,252 What do you mean if I don't? 739 00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:48,046 Oh, did you think this was just, 740 00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:49,672 like, a one-way street or something? 741 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,257 You think you got pointers for me? 742 00:41:51,425 --> 00:41:54,511 Well, yeah. A thing or two crossed my mind. 743 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:57,514 But I guess you'll never know. 744 00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,349 Will you? 745 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,853 Jesus. Fine. Alright. I bite - go. 746 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:05,522 OK, great. This is good. 747 00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:09,484 Now, this is not just you - I wanna make that clear. 748 00:42:09,652 --> 00:42:12,695 Um, OK, the lights-off thing - what the fuck is that? 749 00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:14,239 If the lights are off, 750 00:42:14,406 --> 00:42:16,866 like you requested and I so gentlemanly obliged, 751 00:42:17,034 --> 00:42:19,202 I could be having sex with anything, literally! 752 00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:21,412 But I don't wanna be having sex with anything. 753 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:23,998 I wanna be having sex with you. 754 00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:26,459 Not you specifically, but, like, the universal you. 755 00:42:27,836 --> 00:42:30,838 Lights on? Wow... 756 00:42:31,006 --> 00:42:32,382 All guys feel that way? 757 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,717 I can only speak for me and my friends, but yeah. 758 00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:37,679 Duh! Girls hear that more than hello. That's what you got? 759 00:42:37,846 --> 00:42:39,681 All I'm saying is that we're young 760 00:42:39,848 --> 00:42:42,100 and we're hot-looking people 761 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,269 and we should embrace that shit while we have it. 762 00:42:44,436 --> 00:42:47,522 Alright, fine! Guys like to do it with the lights on. 763 00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:50,191 Noted. Awesome. Shocked. What else you got? 764 00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:52,068 - Do you want more? - Do you have more? 765 00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:54,696 Yeah, I do. OK. Um... 766 00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:56,906 What else do you do that I don't like? 767 00:42:57,074 --> 00:43:00,159 OK, yeah, you do this thing where you stand up from the bed 768 00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:02,537 and you kind of turn halfway around 769 00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:05,456 and then you get undressed as fast as you can all at once 770 00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,041 and it's like you're getting ready 771 00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,585 for a physical or something. 772 00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:10,753 I've never had any complaints about how rapidly I undress. 773 00:43:10,921 --> 00:43:13,548 - Most guys like naked me. - I love naked you. 774 00:43:13,716 --> 00:43:16,384 Naked you is awesome to look at. And touch. 775 00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:17,927 What I mean 776 00:43:18,095 --> 00:43:20,513 is that you could make the getting naked there part 777 00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:22,765 a little, like... 778 00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:24,892 Whuzzat... boom! 779 00:43:25,060 --> 00:43:27,312 ...and then you take your bra off from the side. 780 00:43:27,479 --> 00:43:29,939 You could even imaginary pole - just bring it. 781 00:43:30,107 --> 00:43:32,483 - Smack it. Bring it down... - Oh, God! 782 00:43:32,651 --> 00:43:35,653 Bring it up. Do the little ass thing with your underwear. 783 00:43:35,821 --> 00:43:39,032 "Hey! I dropped something - my panties." 784 00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:40,575 You could flick it up, catch it. 785 00:43:40,743 --> 00:43:42,577 Then I don't care what you do with it. 786 00:43:42,745 --> 00:43:44,245 Actually, that wasn't... that wasn't terrible. 787 00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:45,955 You should put on heels and try it. 788 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:48,374 Yeah, you're right. This is weird. Um... 789 00:43:48,542 --> 00:43:51,294 No, no. No. Man up. Finish. 790 00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,504 Just get ready for an onslaught. 791 00:43:53,672 --> 00:43:55,632 That definitely didn't sound like it was in the vein 792 00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:58,092 of constructive criticism, but I will continue nonetheless. 793 00:43:58,260 --> 00:44:01,929 Look, all... I'm saying 794 00:44:02,097 --> 00:44:06,100 is that guys like undressing. 795 00:44:06,268 --> 00:44:10,063 And you could make it more of a... thing. 796 00:44:10,230 --> 00:44:11,773 - OK. - OK. 797 00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:13,983 Lastly, when I was inside of you, 798 00:44:14,151 --> 00:44:15,818 you started doing this thing... 799 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,362 You started helping yourself a little bit 800 00:44:17,529 --> 00:44:22,241 and it kind of made me feel like I was being benched. 801 00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:24,035 - Second string. - Noted. 802 00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:25,703 - OK. - Duly noted. 803 00:44:25,871 --> 00:44:27,246 - Is it my turn? - Yeah. 804 00:44:27,414 --> 00:44:31,250 - OK. Don't ever do that. - That's the international thing. 805 00:44:31,418 --> 00:44:33,252 OK, I don't know who first taught guys 806 00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:35,755 to do that alphabet with their tongue thing, 807 00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,716 but it kind of makes me feel like I'm Helen Keller 808 00:44:38,884 --> 00:44:41,844 being fucked by her teacher. 809 00:44:42,012 --> 00:44:44,681 And that is not a fantasy of yours? 810 00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:47,308 There was a moment, one moment during foreplay 811 00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:49,560 in which I was maybe close to coming, 812 00:44:49,728 --> 00:44:51,479 and I believe I subtly pointed this out. 813 00:44:51,647 --> 00:44:53,189 Do you remember what it was I said? 814 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,900 - "I'm close to coming." - Yes! Uh-huh. 815 00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:58,986 And then after I said that, you switched up what you were doing. 816 00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:01,447 Just what was your thought process there? 817 00:45:01,615 --> 00:45:04,951 Um, I mean, honestly, I thought I was doing a finishing move. 818 00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:06,494 Kind of like a 'Mortal Kombat' thing. 819 00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:08,663 Like, "Finish her!" And, like, really hit it. 820 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:10,957 I thought I was doing something like that. It's not? 821 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,917 Next time, just keep on doing 822 00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:15,211 what it is was that you were doing 823 00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:18,297 because you got her to third and you can... 824 00:45:18,465 --> 00:45:19,966 - You can get her home. - OK. 825 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:22,343 You waited for me to undress you, 826 00:45:22,511 --> 00:45:25,263 which is unnecessary and also a little weird 827 00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,557 'cause I'm not your mom tucking you into bed. 828 00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:30,309 You kept trying to give me hickeys, which nobody likes. 829 00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:32,311 Oh, and you went, like, way too fast, 830 00:45:32,479 --> 00:45:34,689 like you were drilling me for oil. 831 00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:38,526 You know, like, my whole body was, like... 832 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:40,445 And then, oh, you did find my G spot, 833 00:45:40,612 --> 00:45:42,530 but kind of like a drive-by, which was cool, 834 00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:46,284 but then you kept going... and I so wanted you to stop. 835 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:48,911 Oh, OK, alright. Um... 836 00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:53,124 When a girl is helping herself, that's a good fucking thing. 837 00:45:53,292 --> 00:45:55,585 My ex was weird about that too, and it's... 838 00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,378 It's not like we're competing 839 00:45:57,546 --> 00:46:00,798 on some awesome erotic Japanese game show. 840 00:46:00,966 --> 00:46:03,384 We are having sex. 841 00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:06,345 You know, like, embrace the team spirit. 842 00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:08,848 Oh, and last night, when we were done, 843 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:10,850 you retreated to the other side of the bed 844 00:46:11,018 --> 00:46:12,685 like you planted a bomb down there. 845 00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:18,858 So next time, just hold the girl, count to, like, 10. 846 00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:23,070 It'd go a long way, that one. You can thank me later. 847 00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:27,158 Other than those things, you were a perfectly adequate lover. 848 00:46:27,326 --> 00:46:30,119 'Adequate'. Wow. Thank you. 849 00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:34,373 'Adequate's not really... 850 00:46:34,541 --> 00:46:38,878 See, I knew this would happen. I told you this was a bad idea. 851 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:41,047 It's a fine idea. I'm good. 852 00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:43,382 I'm like Teflon, baby. Nothing sticks to me. 853 00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:48,179 We should totally check out the news, though, for some updates. 854 00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,431 AS you can See, this storm is showing 855 00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:52,183 no signs of slowing down. 856 00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:54,519 I want you to look at something. 857 00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:57,271 Behind me is the Empire State Building, 858 00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:58,940 but you can't see it. 859 00:46:59,107 --> 00:47:00,942 All you can see is snow. 860 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:05,154 I bet you 150 bucks Rick Raines is fully erect right now. 861 00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:10,117 That was funny. 862 00:47:10,285 --> 00:47:12,620 OK, I'm hearing that that's actually not 863 00:47:12,788 --> 00:47:15,206 where the Empire State Building is. 864 00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,961 - Is it cool if I take a shower? - No. 865 00:47:20,128 --> 00:47:25,091 Yes, it's fine. The towels are... on the floor. 866 00:47:25,259 --> 00:47:28,636 Reporting from the streets of New York City, I'm Rick Raines. 867 00:47:56,790 --> 00:47:58,875 I just got off the phone with the governor's office 868 00:47:59,042 --> 00:48:01,419 and they told me this storm is a real motherfucker. 869 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,337 That was quick. 870 00:48:05,591 --> 00:48:07,550 What if we tried again? 871 00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:09,302 I can't take any more critiques. 872 00:48:09,469 --> 00:48:14,932 No, I mean what if we tried again? 873 00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:20,771 Tested our theories for science? 874 00:48:22,649 --> 00:48:25,192 For... 875 00:48:26,236 --> 00:48:28,404 ...science? 876 00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:30,907 Yeah, I think it'd be really helpful for me 877 00:48:31,074 --> 00:48:34,619 'cause I'm more of a hands-on learner. 878 00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:38,789 Yeah, we could... we could do that. 879 00:48:38,957 --> 00:48:41,792 Good. OK. 880 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,713 And the channel of communication stays open. 881 00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,007 - Mm-hm. - We say whatever's on our mind. 882 00:48:48,175 --> 00:48:50,509 - That's the deal. - OK. We should film it. 883 00:48:50,677 --> 00:48:53,346 - Hmph? - No? Too far? 884 00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:55,264 Sorry. 885 00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:59,226 How should we start? 886 00:48:59,394 --> 00:49:01,812 OK, so normally on date situations 887 00:49:01,980 --> 00:49:03,731 there would be more of a build-up here, 888 00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:05,650 but since this is strictly a hook-up scenario 889 00:49:05,817 --> 00:49:07,610 I think it'd be fine if you just... 890 00:49:19,581 --> 00:49:21,958 That's not bad. 891 00:49:33,011 --> 00:49:35,346 Whoa. 892 00:49:44,022 --> 00:49:45,982 OK. Hmm. 893 00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:48,985 OK, so the lack of sheets makes it look a little crack den-y, 894 00:49:49,152 --> 00:49:51,070 which is great for, like, a role-playing scenario, but... 895 00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:52,947 - Yeah, it was laundry day. - Mm-hm. 896 00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:57,952 OK, get over here. 897 00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,080 They should label it or something, right? 898 00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:02,999 I think it's inside out, but it's fine. 899 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:04,917 - Nice. - That's good. Yeah. 900 00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:07,169 - Where were we? - Good. Right here. 901 00:50:10,924 --> 00:50:12,717 - Whoa. - Oh, a fan of the bed push. 902 00:50:12,884 --> 00:50:14,343 That's a classic. 903 00:50:14,511 --> 00:50:16,887 Oh, no, no, no. Shoes and socks first. 904 00:50:17,055 --> 00:50:20,433 There's never a good time for it so just, you know, get them off. 905 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,560 Oh, God. 906 00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:30,401 Good compromise. I like that. 907 00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:34,822 Thank you. I'm like the UN of doing it. 908 00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:37,408 OK. 909 00:51:37,844 --> 00:51:40,596 Is that sort of what you had in mind? 910 00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:42,932 Yeah, that's good. That's pretty good. 911 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,642 You got the hang of that. Mm-hm. 912 00:51:44,810 --> 00:51:46,685 Good. 913 00:52:03,662 --> 00:52:05,663 I have sensitive nipples. 914 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:10,251 That one's real sensitive. 915 00:52:16,007 --> 00:52:18,050 - Any notes? - No. 916 00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:30,146 No! 917 00:52:30,313 --> 00:52:32,022 If there is one thing 918 00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:34,441 that you take away from this whole experience - never. 919 00:52:34,609 --> 00:52:36,235 Sorry. I was trying to cool you off. 920 00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:38,028 My dad used to give me those 921 00:52:38,196 --> 00:52:40,030 and now I am just thinking about my dad. 922 00:52:40,198 --> 00:52:41,782 Ew. That's gross. I'm sorry. 923 00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:51,000 That's better. 924 00:52:53,587 --> 00:52:57,339 That is much better. 925 00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:01,677 Japanese alphabet. 926 00:53:02,721 --> 00:53:05,681 Thank you, Rosetta Stone. 927 00:53:18,403 --> 00:53:22,031 - Holy shit! - That was awesome. 928 00:53:32,459 --> 00:53:34,919 Hey. 929 00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:37,129 Up and at 'em. 930 00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:42,343 Wake up! 931 00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:47,014 - Hey. - We fell asleep. 932 00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:49,767 Yeah. Is that a problem? 933 00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:51,769 Mm-hm, mm-hm. 934 00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:55,439 I don't see what the educational purposes of it are. 935 00:53:58,193 --> 00:54:00,736 Plus, I'm hungry. 936 00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:05,908 - Um... - We're gonna starve. 937 00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,661 Not if you like mustard. 938 00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:10,454 Why don't you have food? 939 00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:12,331 Well, I had food, 940 00:54:12,499 --> 00:54:14,833 then we ate it all when we were really high. 941 00:54:15,001 --> 00:54:17,086 Oh, yeah. 942 00:54:18,588 --> 00:54:20,798 Three-year-old banana? 943 00:54:22,133 --> 00:54:24,176 Oh, here we go. 944 00:54:30,725 --> 00:54:33,894 This might have to last days. 945 00:54:34,062 --> 00:54:36,814 - We'll ration it. - OK. 946 00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:42,945 This is good. 947 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,780 Alright, we just need to get creative. 948 00:54:44,948 --> 00:54:48,075 Give me, like, 10 minutes. I'll figure something out. 949 00:54:48,243 --> 00:54:49,827 - OK, but don't hog. - Alright. 950 00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:52,955 You wanna go back to bed? Let me figure it out. 951 00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:06,260 Special delivery. 952 00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:13,559 - Where did you get these? - Hmm? 953 00:55:13,727 --> 00:55:15,728 Don't worry about it. 954 00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:20,274 These are your neighbour's noodles. 955 00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:23,360 - Uh-uh. - These are contraband noodles! 956 00:55:23,528 --> 00:55:26,530 You threw such a hissy fit about the window and now look at you. 957 00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:28,574 You are a common thief. 958 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,743 I know. 959 00:55:30,910 --> 00:55:33,787 And, for the record, I actually thought it was pretty bad-ass 960 00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:35,581 when you broke that window like that. 961 00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:38,250 Thank you! I did too. 962 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,472 You might not be the worst person in the world 963 00:55:51,639 --> 00:55:53,182 to be stuck with. 964 00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,851 Right back at ya. 965 00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,605 So were your parents doctors? 966 00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:01,482 - Uh-uh. - Oh. 967 00:56:01,649 --> 00:56:03,359 I thought maybe they were 968 00:56:03,526 --> 00:56:06,153 and that's why you rebelled and didn't want to do it anymore. 969 00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:07,988 So what happened? 970 00:56:08,156 --> 00:56:10,157 It doesn't matter. 971 00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:14,203 Yeah, it does. Come on. You can tell me. 972 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:15,871 It wouldn't even make sense to you. 973 00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,748 Everything makes sense to me. 974 00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:21,460 It's the burden of being a genius. I can't help it. 975 00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:24,380 Pfft! 976 00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:26,632 Well, it's not, um... 977 00:56:27,675 --> 00:56:29,802 ...it's not that I stopped wanting to be a doctor. 978 00:56:29,969 --> 00:56:32,179 So you do want to be a doctor. 979 00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:34,056 Mmm... 980 00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:38,435 No, I mean I didn't change my mind. 981 00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:41,397 I NEVER wanted to be a doctor, ever. Eugh! 982 00:56:41,564 --> 00:56:43,107 Then why would you go into pre-med? 983 00:56:43,274 --> 00:56:46,610 OK, um... 984 00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:50,280 So... 985 00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:53,992 ...I was engaged once. 986 00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:59,456 "Once." It sounds like I'm writing a memoir. 987 00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:02,126 I was engaged recently. 988 00:57:02,293 --> 00:57:06,213 We dated through high school. I followed him to NYU. 989 00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:09,800 When I had to pick a major, I, uh... 990 00:57:09,968 --> 00:57:13,429 Well, I never actually planned on needing it. 991 00:57:13,596 --> 00:57:17,516 I just wanted to be a wife and a mom. 992 00:57:19,018 --> 00:57:22,396 See, people always look at you funny 993 00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:24,189 when you say something like that 994 00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:26,066 'cause they feel bad for you or they... 995 00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:29,069 I'm not... Sorry. I wasn't trying to look at you funny. 996 00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:30,696 No, no, it's fine. 997 00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:33,157 They think that you're missing out on something. 998 00:57:33,324 --> 00:57:35,826 But I don't know. 999 00:57:35,994 --> 00:57:40,289 I mean, it worked for my parents 1000 00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:43,584 and I always thought that I would do the same. 1001 00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:47,880 And then the universe called my bluff. 1002 00:57:48,047 --> 00:57:49,673 What happened? 1003 00:57:49,841 --> 00:57:51,884 - He cheated. - Ohh. 1004 00:57:52,051 --> 00:57:55,304 Yeah, and sadly that wasn't even the deal breaker. 1005 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:59,892 I wanted to work through it, but he wanted out. 1006 00:58:00,059 --> 00:58:04,605 He said he wanted to find a girl with more of her own life. 1007 00:58:04,772 --> 00:58:07,983 He dropped the word 'ambition' a few times. 1008 00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:10,027 Ooh, yep, I've had that word 1009 00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:12,696 thrown at me a few times too, believe it or not. 1010 00:58:12,864 --> 00:58:14,740 I believe it. 1011 00:58:14,908 --> 00:58:17,367 Ambition is such bullshit. 1012 00:58:17,535 --> 00:58:19,161 Seriously, it's just chasing vapour. 1013 00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:21,872 Like, whatever it is that you think that you need, 1014 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,749 that job or that gold star, 1015 00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:27,211 a blue ribbon, fancy desk, nice office, like, it doesn't... 1016 00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:29,046 Once you get that, you're gonna be confused 1017 00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:30,672 because you're not gonna be as happy 1018 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,341 as you thought you were gonna be. 1019 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,134 Then you're gonna be sitting there being, like, 1020 00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:36,678 "Why aren't I happy? I have this. I got the desk." 1021 00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,347 Because, man, there's another desk. 1022 00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:39,973 There's always gonna be something more 1023 00:58:40,141 --> 00:58:41,725 your ambition is telling you that you need. 1024 00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:44,186 So it's the next thing, then when you get that, 1025 00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:45,938 there's another thing - it's an endless cycle. 1026 00:58:46,105 --> 00:58:47,564 You're forced into retirement, kicking and screaming. 1027 00:58:47,732 --> 00:58:50,484 Next thing you know, you're in a big house, got 4.5 bathrooms, 1028 00:58:50,652 --> 00:58:52,903 you don't even have a ping-pong table and you're dead. 1029 00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:55,489 - Let's fucking go blow shit up! - Like, you're dead. 1030 00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:58,534 I just blacked out for a second. 1031 00:58:58,701 --> 00:59:00,494 Thank you for staying with me on that. 1032 00:59:00,662 --> 00:59:03,038 I didn't know if I was gonna come out the other side. 1033 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:04,748 Blowing up stuff always helps. 1034 00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:08,961 So what happened with that guy? 1035 00:59:09,128 --> 00:59:11,255 Nothing. 1036 00:59:11,422 --> 00:59:15,300 A semester later, I graduated with a degree 1037 00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:19,930 I have no intention of using... 1038 00:59:21,182 --> 00:59:23,141 ...and here I am. 1039 00:59:23,309 --> 00:59:25,727 So you've really never had a one-night stand before? 1040 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:28,188 I told you this, like, a hundred times. 1041 00:59:28,356 --> 00:59:30,524 Well, you should know they usually don't last this long. 1042 00:59:30,692 --> 00:59:33,777 Well, that's a bummer. 1043 00:59:34,821 --> 00:59:36,738 Wow. 1044 00:59:38,199 --> 00:59:41,034 - That guy is so screwed. - What do you mean? 1045 00:59:41,202 --> 00:59:42,828 You said he met you in high school. 1046 00:59:42,996 --> 00:59:44,454 - Right? - Mm-hm. 1047 00:59:44,622 --> 00:59:47,249 So he thinks that you're a certain type of girl 1048 00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:50,669 and he thinks that he will meet that same type of girl 1049 00:59:50,837 --> 00:59:52,629 later in his life when he's ready, 1050 00:59:52,797 --> 00:59:56,925 but when he's ready that girl's not gonna be there. 1051 00:59:57,093 --> 01:00:00,345 He has no idea how rare you are. 1052 01:00:02,307 --> 01:00:05,601 - What are those? - What? 1053 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,894 Those. Oh! 1054 01:00:08,062 --> 01:00:11,189 You're giving me googly eyes. You totally are. 1055 01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:13,150 You're giving me googly eyes! 1056 01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:15,402 I'm just really thirsty right now 1057 01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:17,279 so those are my thirsty eyes. 1058 01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:20,282 You look thirsty too. I'm gonna get us some drinks. 1059 01:00:31,210 --> 01:00:32,919 Can I pull a classic girl move 1060 01:00:33,087 --> 01:00:35,672 and confiscate your biggest, comfiest sweatshirt? 1061 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,883 And I promise I will not steal it. 1062 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:39,718 Yeah, one sec. 1063 01:00:58,571 --> 01:01:01,907 Please be a cross-dresser. 1064 01:01:17,882 --> 01:01:19,424 I found some peach schnapps. 1065 01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:21,301 The bottle was a little dusty, 1066 01:01:21,469 --> 01:01:24,388 but I think the liquor's still... good. 1067 01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,146 So where's Daisy? 1068 01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:36,817 San Francisco. 1069 01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:41,279 You're with her? 1070 01:01:43,366 --> 01:01:45,409 That's a tough question to answer. 1071 01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:49,871 No, it's not. 1072 01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:52,916 See, you just did. 1073 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:56,420 Megan, here. Look. Let's talk about this. 1074 01:01:56,587 --> 01:02:01,425 Have the place to yourself and, boy, do you make the most of it. 1075 01:02:02,552 --> 01:02:04,344 When does she get back? 1076 01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:06,221 She was supposed to get back this afternoon, 1077 01:02:06,389 --> 01:02:08,515 but her flight got cancelled. 1078 01:02:09,934 --> 01:02:11,977 I heard about that. 1079 01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:15,981 Apparently there's this huge fucking blizzard. 1080 01:02:16,149 --> 01:02:18,108 Jeez. 1081 01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:23,655 You know, I always wondered what it would be like 1082 01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:26,783 to get to be the other girl. 1083 01:02:26,951 --> 01:02:29,536 It feels better. 1084 01:02:29,704 --> 01:02:33,206 Not great, but undeniably better. 1085 01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:36,835 Hold on. 1086 01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:45,218 Thank God it stopped. 1087 01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:54,686 Let's take a look at some of the outside stuff. 1088 01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,605 We're looking at the New Jersey Transit, 1089 01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:58,732 making local stops all day long. 1090 01:03:00,818 --> 01:03:03,904 - Can I show you something? - Please just leave me alone. 1091 01:03:04,947 --> 01:03:09,951 But I'm not mad. How can I be? I didn't ask and you didn't lie. 1092 01:03:10,119 --> 01:03:12,496 I wanted meaningless sex and I got it. 1093 01:03:12,663 --> 01:03:15,373 Here. Let me show you this. 1094 01:03:15,541 --> 01:03:17,167 Please. 1095 01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:26,009 So she dumped you, but you still live with her? 1096 01:03:26,177 --> 01:03:29,221 - She didn't give it to me yet. - I don't understand. 1097 01:03:29,388 --> 01:03:30,931 And honestly I don't care. 1098 01:03:31,098 --> 01:03:33,725 Three weeks ago she asked me to look for her wallet 1099 01:03:33,893 --> 01:03:35,769 and when I was looking for her wallet 1100 01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,312 I accidentally found this. 1101 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,356 I didn't know what to do. 1102 01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:41,441 So I gave her her wallet back at lunch 1103 01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:43,360 and then the next day she left for tour. 1104 01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:45,153 Tour? What is she, like... 1105 01:03:45,321 --> 01:03:48,114 - She's a DJ. - Huh. Of course. 1106 01:03:49,158 --> 01:03:51,618 Of course she's, like, the coolest girl imaginable. 1107 01:03:51,786 --> 01:03:54,329 I made that profile because I wanted to have something 1108 01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:58,375 to throw in her face whenever she went to pull the trigger 1109 01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:01,002 and I know that's very immature. 1110 01:04:01,170 --> 01:04:02,671 You could have broken up with her. 1111 01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:06,925 Yeah, yeah, I thought about that. 1112 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:10,470 People talk about how great it is to be single 1113 01:04:10,638 --> 01:04:12,472 and that's bullshit. 1114 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,891 "Join the single party." It's not a party. 1115 01:04:15,059 --> 01:04:18,937 It's a bunch of people sitting around in the dark texting. 1116 01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:21,231 ...how slow the ploughing is going in the outer boroughs 1117 01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:24,109 such as Queens and Brooklyn are not falling on deaf ears. 1118 01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:25,652 We're hearing from the sanitation department 1119 01:04:25,820 --> 01:04:27,195 that they're getting that done right away... 1120 01:04:27,363 --> 01:04:30,991 And I did something stupid and I'm sorry. 1121 01:04:31,158 --> 01:04:33,660 ...the subways and buses are starting to run as well. 1122 01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:35,537 Excuse me. 1123 01:05:13,284 --> 01:05:15,869 Megan, wait. Hey. 1124 01:05:16,037 --> 01:05:18,371 Look. Come on. I didn't... What was I supposed to do? 1125 01:05:18,539 --> 01:05:20,749 I didn't even know that you existed and I don't... 1126 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:25,337 Look, I don't want her. I want you. I want you. 1127 01:05:25,504 --> 01:05:28,548 And what makes you think that I want you? 1128 01:05:28,716 --> 01:05:31,927 You're just some funny guy who works at a bank. 1129 01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:34,095 I think you severely overestimate 1130 01:05:34,263 --> 01:05:37,223 your ability to break hearts. 1131 01:05:43,272 --> 01:05:45,398 Come on. 1132 01:06:31,862 --> 01:06:33,571 Oh, my God. Megan! 1133 01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:36,825 - Hey. - Hey. 1134 01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,827 Is that my duvet? 1135 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:42,080 - Hi. - Oh, God. 1136 01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:45,875 You guys are monsters. 1137 01:06:46,043 --> 01:06:47,627 God! Oh! 1138 01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:50,046 Mmm. How was your date? 1139 01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:47,437 You looked so tired, I wanted to let you sleep. 1140 01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:50,523 Hey, what are you doing... 1141 01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:53,068 - Daisy, we should talk. - Yeah, I know. 1142 01:07:53,235 --> 01:07:56,654 - I found the note in the trash. - I have the note right here. 1143 01:08:08,292 --> 01:08:09,834 When did you find this? 1144 01:08:10,002 --> 01:08:13,546 Um, when I was looking for your wallet... 1145 01:08:13,714 --> 01:08:14,923 ...by accident. 1146 01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:17,509 I see what's going on here. 1147 01:08:17,676 --> 01:08:20,261 You read this and then you wanted me to come home 1148 01:08:20,429 --> 01:08:23,306 and find this slutty little lipstick haiku 1149 01:08:23,474 --> 01:08:25,558 so that you could be the one that ended us. 1150 01:08:25,726 --> 01:08:27,936 It's not a haiku. There's not enough syllables. 1151 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:30,105 You are a child. 1152 01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:31,898 Yeah. 1153 01:08:32,942 --> 01:08:36,236 Look, Daisy, we both know that we weren't right for each other 1154 01:08:36,403 --> 01:08:39,364 and I think we both knew that for a long time, but it's fine. 1155 01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:43,118 We were just scared the perfect person wasn't out there for us. 1156 01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,496 And what if they're not? 1157 01:08:46,664 --> 01:08:49,457 I think they are. 1158 01:08:52,711 --> 01:08:54,420 OK, so what now? 1159 01:08:54,588 --> 01:08:57,841 I can move my stuff over to Kevin's place. 1160 01:08:58,008 --> 01:08:59,801 He owes me for a plunger. 1161 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:02,929 OK. 1162 01:09:04,181 --> 01:09:06,057 Let me know when you're out. 1163 01:09:07,726 --> 01:09:09,394 Hey, Daisy. 1164 01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:12,814 - Can I ask you something? - Yeah. 1165 01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:15,900 Did you ever... fake it? 1166 01:09:16,944 --> 01:09:21,573 Wow - a year together, done, 1167 01:09:21,740 --> 01:09:23,616 and that's what you're thinking about right now? 1168 01:09:23,784 --> 01:09:26,077 No, I'm thinking of all kinds of stuff right now. 1169 01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:29,539 I'm thinking of memories and feelings and... 1170 01:09:29,707 --> 01:09:33,418 But I just need to know if... Did you do that? 1171 01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:36,963 Yeah. 1172 01:09:37,131 --> 01:09:40,091 I'm sorry. I got lazy. Mm-hm. 1173 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,885 But you shouldn't have faked it, OK, 1174 01:09:42,052 --> 01:09:43,595 'cause that's not helping anybody. 1175 01:09:43,762 --> 01:09:45,555 You gotta communicate. 1176 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,849 What happened to you? 1177 01:10:03,574 --> 01:10:05,658 Tell her. Talk to her. 1178 01:10:06,702 --> 01:10:08,661 Megan, Faiza has something she wants to tell you. 1179 01:10:08,829 --> 01:10:10,663 OK. 1180 01:10:10,831 --> 01:10:12,582 Listen, normally I'd wait to bring this up 1181 01:10:12,750 --> 01:10:14,417 until after you'd recovered a bit, 1182 01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:16,711 but Cedric and I sort of enjoyed 1183 01:10:16,879 --> 01:10:18,880 having the place to ourselves the past couple of nights. 1184 01:10:19,048 --> 01:10:20,673 We did. 1185 01:10:20,841 --> 01:10:22,592 And I wasn't sure that we would 1186 01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:25,261 'cause I am so used to you always being here, you know, 1187 01:10:25,429 --> 01:10:31,267 like nonstop, all the time, um, but... 1188 01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:32,977 Baby, help me out, please. 1189 01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:35,688 Yeah, basically we were just thinking what if you moved out? 1190 01:10:35,856 --> 01:10:37,649 You know, like, what would that be like? 1191 01:10:37,816 --> 01:10:39,901 And you have to understand you can stay here 1192 01:10:40,069 --> 01:10:42,403 as long as you need till you get on your feet - 1193 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:45,156 a couple of days, three days, however long you want. 1194 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,701 - Four days. - OK. 1195 01:10:48,869 --> 01:10:51,955 No, I think... I think it's a really good idea. 1196 01:10:52,122 --> 01:10:54,666 - You do? - She said she does. 1197 01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:57,502 Look, I only moved to New York because of Chris 1198 01:10:57,670 --> 01:11:00,004 and I thought that if I went home 1199 01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:02,090 it'd just be admitting that. 1200 01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:05,802 So I stayed and made sure that the internet wasn't lonely. 1201 01:11:05,970 --> 01:11:08,930 I needed a kick in the ass. 1202 01:11:09,098 --> 01:11:11,641 Cool. So do you know what you're gonna do? 1203 01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:14,811 No, no, I have no fucking clue. 1204 01:11:14,979 --> 01:11:18,064 No idea. Uh-uh. 1205 01:11:18,232 --> 01:11:20,984 Do you know what this means? 1206 01:11:21,151 --> 01:11:25,113 That this is our last New Year's Eve as roommates. 1207 01:11:29,159 --> 01:11:31,411 Awesome. 1208 01:11:31,578 --> 01:11:34,706 Yeah, hey, so I realise this is probably word for word 1209 01:11:34,873 --> 01:11:36,666 something that a crazy person would say, 1210 01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:39,419 but I met a girl on your website a few nights ago and... 1211 01:11:39,586 --> 01:11:41,754 I think I can save us both some time here. 1212 01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:43,840 No, no, no, I don't need her address or anything. 1213 01:11:44,008 --> 01:11:45,633 I just need to know her last name. 1214 01:11:45,801 --> 01:11:47,969 I'm sure it was magical, but we can't give our customers' 1215 01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:50,430 personal information to anyone other than the police. 1216 01:11:50,597 --> 01:11:52,265 So provided you're not a cop, 1217 01:11:52,433 --> 01:11:55,518 is there anything else I can help you with today? 1218 01:11:55,686 --> 01:11:57,645 Nope. 1219 01:12:08,198 --> 01:12:11,576 It's not just a show for kids. Anybody can get into it. 1220 01:12:11,744 --> 01:12:13,453 You know, it's for anybody 1221 01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:16,331 who cherishes friendship, adventure... 1222 01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:18,791 There's this one character. Her name is Applejack. 1223 01:12:18,959 --> 01:12:22,211 She's my favourite. She's such a fireplug. 1224 01:12:22,379 --> 01:12:25,006 She kind of reminds me of you, actually. 1225 01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:28,217 I think I lost you there. Excuse me? Hello? 1226 01:12:28,385 --> 01:12:30,094 I'm just gonna put this out here, 1227 01:12:30,262 --> 01:12:31,971 but you're kind of a fucking terrible conversationalist. 1228 01:12:32,139 --> 01:12:33,765 I don't know if ever... 1229 01:12:33,932 --> 01:12:37,435 I think it's because you are so... 1230 01:12:39,521 --> 01:12:40,938 ...captivating. 1231 01:12:41,106 --> 01:12:44,359 - Oh, well... - I am just intimidated as fuck. 1232 01:12:44,526 --> 01:12:46,277 Oh, no. There's nothing to be scared of! 1233 01:12:46,445 --> 01:12:48,529 - Excuse me. - No, no, no. Please, please! 1234 01:12:48,697 --> 01:12:51,115 Just... Godammit! 1235 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,535 OK, yeah. Alright, great. 1236 01:12:54,703 --> 01:12:56,245 Son of a motherfucking bitch. 1237 01:12:56,413 --> 01:12:59,207 Motherfucking son of a fucking bitch. Fuck! 1238 01:13:00,250 --> 01:13:03,378 Now it's the moment you've all been waiting for. 1239 01:13:05,297 --> 01:13:09,008 Whoo! 1240 01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:13,346 Megan! 1241 01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:17,308 Long time no see. 1242 01:13:18,394 --> 01:13:22,605 It's, uh, Ben from bio class. 1243 01:13:22,773 --> 01:13:25,650 How are you here? Do you know Faiza? 1244 01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:28,069 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good buddies with Cedric. 1245 01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:31,656 We're going to get more booze. Have fun, you two. 1246 01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:41,290 You! You were the dumb pretty guy. Oh! 1247 01:13:41,458 --> 01:13:43,584 Uh, thank you? 1248 01:13:43,752 --> 01:13:47,088 Mm-hm. I was supposed to bang you. 1249 01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:50,133 This is the universe correcting itself. 1250 01:13:50,300 --> 01:13:51,926 Oops! 1251 01:13:55,013 --> 01:13:57,849 So where'd you decide on med school? 1252 01:13:58,016 --> 01:14:01,227 I was surprised I got into both my top choices. 1253 01:14:01,395 --> 01:14:03,020 Now I'm just trying to decide. 1254 01:14:03,188 --> 01:14:07,608 It's a big decision and obviously my dad has opinions... 1255 01:14:07,776 --> 01:14:09,777 Megan? Megan? 1256 01:14:09,945 --> 01:14:11,446 - You know, it's just... - Shh, shh. 1257 01:14:11,613 --> 01:14:14,407 Police! Megan? Megan, right? 1258 01:14:14,575 --> 01:14:17,785 Any noise complaints go to Faiza or to Cedric 1259 01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:19,787 because this is their apartment now. 1260 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:23,040 Actually, they're asking for you specifically. 1261 01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:24,792 What the fuck? 1262 01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:27,378 What's up, dog? 1263 01:14:27,546 --> 01:14:32,508 Megan Pagano? You wanna step in the hall with us? 1264 01:14:34,386 --> 01:14:36,012 Why? 1265 01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:40,850 Officers found this in the Lo Pans' bathroom. 1266 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:44,812 You don't understand. This guy is a psychopath. 1267 01:14:44,980 --> 01:14:46,772 He's setting me up. 1268 01:14:46,940 --> 01:14:48,774 He is setting this whole thing up, 1269 01:14:48,942 --> 01:14:52,862 which I realise is exactly what a crazy person would say, 1270 01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,697 but that explains my situation. 1271 01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:59,952 He is so crazy that he is forcing me to sound crazy. 1272 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:01,662 Do you see what he's doing? 1273 01:15:01,830 --> 01:15:06,083 Ma'am, did you or did you not break in through the window 1274 01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:08,628 of Mr and Mrs Lo Pan's apartment? 1275 01:15:12,007 --> 01:15:14,759 You, um... you got a little... 1276 01:15:15,802 --> 01:15:17,720 Like, some... 1277 01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:20,348 OK, got it. 1278 01:15:21,391 --> 01:15:22,975 Pretty. 1279 01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:32,068 Which one of you is Megan Pagano? 1280 01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,363 You made bail. 1281 01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:37,657 Wait. That's... That's impossible. 1282 01:15:37,824 --> 01:15:39,659 I haven't even made a phone call yet. 1283 01:15:39,826 --> 01:15:41,494 She can do that? 1284 01:15:41,662 --> 01:15:44,413 She can refuse my bail? Are you serious? 1285 01:15:44,581 --> 01:15:47,667 OK, look. I just... I need to talk to her. 1286 01:15:47,834 --> 01:15:50,002 You can only visit during visiting hours 1287 01:15:50,170 --> 01:15:53,714 and if, and only if, the person wants to see you, 1288 01:15:53,882 --> 01:15:55,508 which I'm gonna guess she doesn't 1289 01:15:55,676 --> 01:15:57,218 being that she would rather 1290 01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:59,220 remain locked in jail than see your face. 1291 01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:00,972 Wow! Rude. 1292 01:16:01,139 --> 01:16:03,057 OK, well, what if I told you 1293 01:16:03,225 --> 01:16:04,976 that I helped her break into that apartment? 1294 01:16:05,143 --> 01:16:08,187 Then would you lock me up with her? 1295 01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:12,316 Yeah, that's how police stations work. 1296 01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,528 - Are you being sarcastic? - Are you serious? 1297 01:16:15,696 --> 01:16:19,532 - I need to talk to her! - Oh! OK, then. 1298 01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:24,537 Five, four, three, two, one! 1299 01:16:24,705 --> 01:16:26,747 Happy New Year! 1300 01:16:55,068 --> 01:16:56,861 How about these two? 1301 01:16:57,029 --> 01:16:58,904 Are they special enough to post your bail? 1302 01:16:59,072 --> 01:17:00,906 Oh, my God. What happened? 1303 01:17:01,074 --> 01:17:04,994 - Just take me home. - Here. 1304 01:17:05,162 --> 01:17:07,246 Hey. 1305 01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:10,166 - Who is that? - I'm sorry. 1306 01:17:10,334 --> 01:17:12,835 I didn't know your last name. What was I supposed to do? 1307 01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:14,712 Literally anything but this. 1308 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,672 OK, you're upset, but, Megan, you felt something 1309 01:17:16,840 --> 01:17:18,341 and I felt something... 1310 01:17:18,508 --> 01:17:20,176 What I felt was Stockholm syndrome. 1311 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:23,554 I can't let you walk out another door without listening to me. 1312 01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:29,685 Why are you doing this? You have a girlfriend. 1313 01:17:29,853 --> 01:17:32,813 That's over now. Look, Megan. Hey, let me explain. 1314 01:17:32,981 --> 01:17:35,399 I should've told you about her and there were times last night 1315 01:17:35,567 --> 01:17:37,151 I wanted to tell you and I should've, 1316 01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:38,944 but there were other times last night 1317 01:17:39,112 --> 01:17:40,738 that I forgot other people even existed 1318 01:17:40,906 --> 01:17:43,032 and I know that sounds stupid 'cause your friends 1319 01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:45,576 are staring at me like my fucking dick is hanging out. 1320 01:17:48,372 --> 01:17:49,955 I'm sorry. It was funny. 1321 01:17:50,123 --> 01:17:52,208 - Sir. - OK, let's wrap this up. 1322 01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:54,418 The cop's not happy. Let's keep the cop happy. 1323 01:17:54,586 --> 01:17:56,629 - Megan? - You put me in jail! 1324 01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:58,923 - I'm sorry. - For, like, criminals! 1325 01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:01,300 He's got about five seconds before he finds out firsthand. 1326 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:03,803 OK, fine. Fuck! Shit! 1327 01:18:03,970 --> 01:18:07,223 Uh, not directed at you and not directed at you. 1328 01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:11,185 Look, I messed up. 1329 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:14,313 I messed up, but I am really, really sorry. 1330 01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:17,108 But you can't stop us before we even realise what we could be 1331 01:18:17,275 --> 01:18:18,901 and we should figure that out. 1332 01:18:19,069 --> 01:18:21,278 Maybe... maybe we hang out 1333 01:18:21,446 --> 01:18:23,155 and we realise we don't like each other. 1334 01:18:23,323 --> 01:18:27,118 Maybe you're very intimidated by my dancing 1335 01:18:27,285 --> 01:18:31,372 and maybe I find out you're, like, really racist. 1336 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:35,042 OK, that was a hypothetical. 1337 01:18:35,210 --> 01:18:38,003 Look, all I'm saying is that there's a lot of stuff 1338 01:18:38,171 --> 01:18:39,714 that I don't know about you 1339 01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:42,174 and there's a lot that we need to talk about. 1340 01:18:42,342 --> 01:18:47,930 I spent two nights with you and that's not enough time. 1341 01:18:50,308 --> 01:18:52,643 Give me more time, please. 1342 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,771 It was a little shaky in the middle. 1343 01:18:55,939 --> 01:18:58,232 But he finished strong. I'm touched. 1344 01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:01,318 Megan, what do we think? 1345 01:19:04,114 --> 01:19:06,490 I think you put me in jail. 1346 01:19:06,658 --> 01:19:08,951 We're still on that? Look. Hey, hey, come on. 1347 01:19:09,119 --> 01:19:11,120 Some day you're gonna laugh about this. 1348 01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:15,082 I promise that you're gonna find this all very funny some day. 1349 01:19:16,126 --> 01:19:17,877 OK, let's make a deal. 1350 01:19:18,044 --> 01:19:21,213 You give me your number and leave 1351 01:19:21,381 --> 01:19:25,301 and the minute I laugh about it I'll let you know. 1352 01:19:51,703 --> 01:19:56,332 Stay as long as you want. That guy was nuts. 1353 01:20:00,712 --> 01:20:02,797 - Can I hang out with him? - Cedric. 1354 01:20:02,964 --> 01:20:05,174 I'm just saying. I don't meet a lot of funny people. 1355 01:20:05,342 --> 01:20:08,260 Funny people don't drive ambulances. 1356 01:20:24,319 --> 01:20:27,071 Shit! 1357 01:20:30,283 --> 01:20:32,743 - Hello? - You are kind of an idiot. 1358 01:20:32,911 --> 01:20:34,453 Do you realise that about yourself? 1359 01:20:34,621 --> 01:20:38,165 - You good? - Yeah, I've heard that. 1360 01:20:38,333 --> 01:20:40,376 - You know that was all me? - No, it was not. 1361 01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:42,211 What the fuck you talking about? It was! 1362 01:20:42,379 --> 01:20:43,963 Keeping in the spirit of constructive criticism, 1363 01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:45,965 the next time you wanna win a girl back 1364 01:20:46,132 --> 01:20:47,675 after doing something stupid, 1365 01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:49,844 practice your speech or something, 1366 01:20:50,011 --> 01:20:51,720 you know, for the next girl 1367 01:20:51,888 --> 01:20:56,308 because... because yours just fucking sucked. 1368 01:20:56,476 --> 01:20:59,728 Shit. I was embarrassed for you... 1369 01:21:06,945 --> 01:21:09,446 - Uh-uh! - Mmm... What? What? 1370 01:21:09,614 --> 01:21:13,325 It's WAY too soon. Way too soon. 1371 01:21:13,493 --> 01:21:16,662 That's fair. That's totally fair. 1372 01:21:26,506 --> 01:21:29,049 I'm sorry I put you in jail, but have you thought about 1373 01:21:29,217 --> 01:21:30,843 what that's gonna do to your street cred? 1374 01:21:31,011 --> 01:21:33,762 Of course I have. It was, like, the first thing I thought of. 1375 01:21:33,930 --> 01:21:35,556 I'm gonna get that shit tattooed. 1376 01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:38,017 You don't have to worry about the Lo Pans pressing charges. 1377 01:21:38,184 --> 01:21:40,519 - I took care of 'em. - Did you murder the Lo Pans? 1378 01:21:40,687 --> 01:21:42,521 - Had to be done. - You did it without me? 1379 01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:44,398 - Mm-hm. - Ohh! 1380 01:21:44,566 --> 01:21:46,233 I think I'm ready for that kiss now. 1381 01:21:46,401 --> 01:21:48,277 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1382 01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:56,201 You taste like prison. 1383 01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:59,955 - Is it really snowing again? - Oh, yeah. 1384 01:22:00,123 --> 01:22:03,667 Look at 'em - a million tiny, little matchmakers. 1385 01:22:03,835 --> 01:22:06,045 Thank you, snowflakes. 1386 01:22:07,213 --> 01:22:10,090 So your place or mine? 1387 01:22:10,258 --> 01:22:13,052 I don't have a place anymore. 1388 01:22:13,219 --> 01:22:15,346 Hmph, me neither. 1389 01:22:15,513 --> 01:22:18,140 You are a catch. 1390 01:22:18,308 --> 01:22:20,017 So are you. 1391 01:22:21,061 --> 01:22:24,188 ♪ The piano makes the sound 1392 01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:27,900 ♪ You play so quietly 1393 01:22:28,068 --> 01:22:31,278 ♪ These love notes Letter bombs 1394 01:22:31,446 --> 01:22:34,740 ♪ You send them back to me 1395 01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:38,160 ♪ Doors and windows break 1396 01:22:38,328 --> 01:22:41,330 ♪ But not this melody 1397 01:22:41,498 --> 01:22:44,917 ♪ These not-so-subtle signs 1398 01:22:45,085 --> 01:22:48,087 ♪ This house can't make us stay 1399 01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:49,838 ♪ Didn't I warn you 1400 01:22:50,006 --> 01:22:54,885 ♪ Didn't you want to make me feel this way? 1401 01:22:55,053 --> 01:22:57,054 ♪ Didn't I warn you? 1402 01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:01,809 ♪ You know I've loved you from the start 1403 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:04,770 ♪ But this house can't make you stay 1404 01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:08,315 ♪ Sometimes these things just fall apart 1405 01:23:08,483 --> 01:23:11,402 ♪ We might never be the same 1406 01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:14,488 ♪ Maybe I can never be everything you'll ever need 1407 01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:18,409 ♪ But I can put my arms around you 1408 01:23:26,376 --> 01:23:29,837 ♪ If we tear this down 1409 01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:33,048 ♪ Line up every stone 1410 01:23:33,216 --> 01:23:36,552 ♪ Will memory disconnect us 1411 01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:39,555 ♪ From all that came before? 1412 01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:43,308 ♪ 'Cause sometimes our own hearts 1413 01:23:43,476 --> 01:23:46,562 ♪ Rewrite these histories 1414 01:23:46,730 --> 01:23:50,357 ♪ To keep themselves from breaking 1415 01:23:50,525 --> 01:23:52,943 ♪ Is that all we need? 1416 01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:54,945 ♪ Didn't you warn me? 1417 01:23:55,113 --> 01:23:59,825 ♪ Didn't I want to make you feel the same? 1418 01:23:59,993 --> 01:24:02,119 ♪ Didn't you want me? 1419 01:24:03,163 --> 01:24:06,832 ♪ You know I've loved you from the start 1420 01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,793 ♪ But this house can't make you stay 1421 01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:13,505 ♪ Sometimes these things just fall apart 1422 01:24:13,673 --> 01:24:16,425 ♪ Could we ever be the same? 1423 01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,678 ♪ Maybe I can never be everything you'll ever need 1424 01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:23,974 ♪ But I could put my arms around you 1425 01:24:30,023 --> 01:24:36,737 ♪ Something here is still beautiful 1426 01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:43,577 ♪ Something only we know 1427 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:46,288 ♪ Nothing's lost 1428 01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:50,167 ♪ If we can find it 1429 01:24:50,335 --> 01:24:52,961 ♪ In time 1430 01:24:53,129 --> 01:24:56,173 ♪ Find it in time 1431 01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:01,970 ♪ Call up the general Call in the major 1432 01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:05,057 ♪ We need you now 1433 01:25:05,225 --> 01:25:08,811 ♪ Weren't there warnings from headquarters? 1434 01:25:08,978 --> 01:25:11,814 ♪ Oh, no 1435 01:25:11,981 --> 01:25:15,109 ♪ Call up your mother Call in the tigers 1436 01:25:15,276 --> 01:25:18,904 ♪ You know I've loved you from the start 1437 01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:21,782 ♪ No, this house can't make us stay 1438 01:25:21,950 --> 01:25:25,702 ♪ But sometimes these things just fall apart 1439 01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:28,288 ♪ This will never be the same 1440 01:25:28,456 --> 01:25:31,667 ♪ Maybe you can never be everything I'll ever need 1441 01:25:31,835 --> 01:25:35,504 ♪ But could you put your arms around me? 1442 01:25:35,672 --> 01:25:40,759 ♪ You know I've loved you from the start 1443 01:25:42,512 --> 01:25:47,558 ♪ But sometimes these things just fall apart. ♪