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Previously on Masters of Sex...
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They've invited us to dinner.
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They're very nice, the Edleys.
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He's a big guy, a former football player.
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What do you want from me?
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I just want you to be aware
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of all the things you ruin for me
because you don't remember.
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You know what, Mom?
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You're the last person who gets
to lecture me on anything.
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A pregnant, unwed woman
cannot be the standard bearer for the...
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Cause of sexual enlightenment.
Yes, Bill, I realise that.
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You have made that very clear.
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This is not a traditional marriage
she's proposing.
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It's simply an arrangement
to give your child legitimacy.
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It's about legitimizing
your partnership, too.
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Perhaps it's your ambivalence
that's the problem,
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that you live in a constant
state of apology to your children.
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What if you showed this baby
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that you were choosing
to pursue your passion
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not over him, but for him?
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You parented this book, Virginia.
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Half you, half me.
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And now, here it is.
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"Dr Masters and Mrs Johnson
herald what is truly"
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"a Copernican Revolution
in the study of human sexuality."
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The American Medical Journal.
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And that's after the grilling
Buckland put us through in Boston.
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Copernicus? Why doesn't he just
compare us to Jesus himself?
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The Journal for American Gynecology
says our book is highly recommended.
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As does American Endocrinology,
The Easton Review...
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Buckland uses the word "brilliant"
three times. Did you see that?
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- Four times.
- Four times.
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And then goes on...
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"While I will not hazard an answer
to the question"
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"posed on the cover of Time magazine,"
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"after reading Human Sexual Response,."
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"I can confidently say,
even if God is not dead,."
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"Dr Freud certainly is."
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We killed Freud.
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But we knew that years ago.
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You haven't tried to touch me
in almost a year.
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Yeah, well, no, eight months, Virginia.
And I wanted to, you know that.
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I didn't care that it was George's baby.
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I cared.
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But, now the baby is here,
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and all traces of George have gone.
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Well...
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That was easy.
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No. I want to see you.
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Bill, you can see me well enough.
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Eight months is a long time, Virginia.
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I know.
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Have you... Have you missed this?
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Of course I have.
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It's just...
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Your body...
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it never quite feels exactly like itself.
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Afterwards.
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I mean, eventually it does...
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Usually after six weeks.
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I mean, you can resume sex after six weeks,
you're now at eight.
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And your body is...
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- Not like itself.
- ...perfect.
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She usually falls back asleep.
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Bill. How's that project of yours
coming along? A study, right?
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A study that's now a book.
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- I wrote a book.
- My nephew wrote a book.
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He said it all just sort of came to him.
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- Is that how it was for you, Bill?
- No. Can you excuse me?
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I already did it.
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What?
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In fact, he showed me
three apartments just today.
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Joy, that is a really big step.
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Two of them are the size of postage stamps.
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I told him that I'd make a decision
by week's end.
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We've talked about this, Libby.
Our dissatisfaction...
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Yes, but it was just talk, Joy.
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But if I don't do something
about this now, then...
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That's all it will ever be, just talk.
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Bill.
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I should probably be going.
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Bill can walk you home, if you like.
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I'm right next door. Don't be silly.
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Congratulations on the book, Bill.
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I'm going to pick up a copy tomorrow,
in broad daylight,
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where even babies and church-goers
can see me.
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Call you tomorrow, Libby?
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I thought the Grape Boycott Committee
met on Thursdays?
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It does. Tonight was book group.
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I just found out that Joy is
talking about leaving Paul.
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And not just talking.
Actually looking at apartments.
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Well, Paul seems nice enough.
Although we hardly know them.
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Actually, I've gotten to know Joy
quite well since they moved in.
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Obviously, my mistake was giving her
The Feminine Mystique.
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I simply said it was an interesting book, I
never told her it was an instruction manual.
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David Buckland says we've written
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the most important medical book
of the decade.
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- Reshaped the entire field.
- Do you think I should tell him?
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- David Buckland?
- No, Paul. That his wife is leaving him.
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Is that a serious question?
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She says she won't say anything
until her bags are packed.
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She says he'll just try to convince her to
stay. Which is exactly what he should do.
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Or maybe you could say that you overheard
the two of us talking and tell Paul.
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Paul from next door?
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I've exchanged four words with the man.
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Yes, but I've shared three dinners
and one neighbourhood potluck.
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And if Paul found out
that I wanted to leave you,
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- wouldn't you wanna know?
- Libby, people fantasise
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about all sorts of things
that they never do.
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This is a preposterous conversation.
And I'm hungry.
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The Chinese menu's in the top drawer.
They deliver until 10:00.
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- Doctor.
- Morning.
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- Morning, may I help you?
- Post-Dispatch and the Star Times.
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Dr Masters, hi. I've just read your book.
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Really? Are you a physician?
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Ronald Sturgis.
I'm with the Committee for Decency.
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I've come to tell you that
Hell is a real place.
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No worse than St. Louis in August.
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Well, we have God to thank
that Washington University fired you
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before you had the chance to corrupt
your students' minds with this filth.
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What did you say?
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I said it's a miracle
you're no longer a teacher,
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no longer in a position to
peddle smut to our young people.
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"Know ye not that the unrighteous
shall not inherit the kingdom of God?"
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"Now be not deceived. Neither fornicators,"
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"nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves..."
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- What if he had a knife?
- He didn't have a knife.
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Well, he had something
'cause you're white as a ghost.
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I'm not frightened, Betty, I'm thinking.
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Fine. But while you cogitate,
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we're hearing from every John Birch nutjob
with a library card and a stamp.
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This one thinks you work for Red China.
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This one thinks the book
is the work of the Antichrist.
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And now they're showing up
at our front door...
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Lester, wake up. How many medical students
are there in the U.S.?
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- Thirty thousand, maybe?
- I'm not sure.
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That's 30,000 copies of our book
just waiting to be sold.
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It could be a textbook.
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The standard textbook on the subject.
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We could start at Washington University,
where the study was born, after all,
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and where we thanked them extensively
in our acknowledgments,
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in spite of their abysmal treatment
of us and the work.
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But it's the logical jumping-off point.
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Then we could branch out into schools
all across the Midwest,
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build momentum...
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Do medical schools even
have courses on sex?
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Then we'll convince them that they should.
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I hate to rain on your ticker-tape parade,
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00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,843
but selling medical textbooks
isn't exactly a get-rich-quick scheme.
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It might take some time, yes.
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00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:52,180
Or you could skip all that busywork
and take on an investor.
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Don't look at me like
I'm the old ball and chain.
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You know that we pay for the research
from the fertility and gyno patients,
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so if you want the research
to be self-sustaining,
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and you're certainly
making lots of noise like you do,
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then you need a dedicated
source of funding.
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- That means an investor.
- Now's not the time for an investor.
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Now is the perfect time for an investor,
with the publicity from the book...
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The book just needs
to find the right audience.
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The money will take care of itself.
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Get me the Dean of Curricula
of Washington University on the line,
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and Virginia and I can set up a meeting
as soon as possible.
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You're going to sell Wash. U.
On the sex classes?
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No. But Virginia could sell
an airplane to the Amish.
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- Where is Virginia?
- She called in this morning.
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There's a problem with her daughter.
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It's not the colic again?
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00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,933
No, not baby Lisa. Her other daughter.
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You're late, so we're gonna have to
discuss this on the move, Mrs Johnson.
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Well, I'm not that late.
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Since this is not the first time
we have spoken about Tessa's behaviour,
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I'm doubly disappointed
in the lack of improvement.
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Although, truth be told,
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students with divorced parents
often act out like this.
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Well, that would not apply to Tessa,
since Mr Johnson and I are married.
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Re-married. As of two months ago.
They don't technically live together.
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00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,587
- That is not the case.
- Whatever your arrangement,
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00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:10,253
you're here because Tessa skipped
her afternoon classes two days ago.
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Then showed up yesterday
with a forged note. Again.
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00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,051
I'm considering all disciplinary action,
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00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:20,101
including barring Tessa from
tomorrow night's Homecoming Dance.
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00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:23,976
I know your work
keeps you very busy, Mrs Johnson.
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00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,821
But please remember,
children learn by example.
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00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,121
What did I tell you about skipping class?
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00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,036
That Sister Annabelle
is watching you like a hawk.
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00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,037
You have to admit,
I've got your signature down.
187
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,370
And I would appreciate you
not spreading around the fact
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that your father and I don't live together.
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Might give people the wrong impression.
190
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,215
- What would the right impression be?
- It's nobody's business, Tessa.
191
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,008
Well, Grandma thought
I made the whole thing up.
192
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,051
Wait. You spoke to Grandma?
193
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,174
You know Grandma and I are close.
194
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,597
She said if she were my age
and her whole school had found out
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00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,722
that her mom had written some sex book,
she'd skip class, too.
196
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:05,271
- What are you talking about?
- You have no idea, do you?
197
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,144
The nightmare my life has become
since your book came out.
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00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,571
No one will sit near me at lunch.
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00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,282
People scribble disgusting things
on my locker.
200
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,919
When I walk in a room, people whisper,
201
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,409
"There's Tessa Johnson, the girl whose mom
watches people have sex all day."
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00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,913
- Why didn't you talk to me about this?
- Talk to you when?
203
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,206
You have me three nights a week.
204
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,170
And when I am there,
you're busy with the baby.
205
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,095
I'm sorry. We're not supposed to
mention the baby either.
206
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,224
In the second half of the course, then,
207
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,768
the focus shifts gradually
208
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:48,519
to metabolic and glandular changes
to the body during sex.
209
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:54,157
The course ultimately concludes
with geriatric sex.
210
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,661
Do you have any questions?
211
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:05,081
Well, it's certainly impressive work that
you and your partner have done, Dr Masters.
212
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,241
I only wish that I had been here
during your tenure,
213
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,587
- I could've learned so much.
- Thank you. I appreciate...
214
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:15,304
Although, I'm not sure Wash. U.
Is any more ready now
215
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,391
for an entire course on sexual response
than they were then.
216
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,099
But I'll run it by my colleagues
and get back to you.
217
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,018
We'll call you.
218
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:32,111
Well, thank you for making the time
to see us.
219
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,322
I'll await your call.
220
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,908
Until then, I hope
221
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we've aroused your curiosity.
222
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,206
If nothing else.
223
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,290
Well, I wouldn't put it in a stand-up
routine, but it was not a bad joke.
224
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,088
- It wasn't meant to be a joke.
- Well, it was. And it worked.
225
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,880
How exactly did it work, Lester?
He didn't agree to the course.
226
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,256
He's obviously considering it.
227
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:02,222
Well, if he was sold, he would have
said "yes" right there in the room.
228
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,011
It's over? In 20 minutes?
229
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,854
Could you give us a moment, Lester?
230
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,606
Well, what happened? What did he say?
231
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,274
He said he would give us a call.
232
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:19,693
Well, maybe we should make
a longer presentation next time.
233
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,114
"Next time"? There'll be no "next time."
234
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,454
There is "right now" and there is
"too late." Those are the options.
235
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,164
Bill, I heard about this meeting
30 minutes ago.
236
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,874
I raced here from the office.
237
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,789
Maybe if you'd been at
the office on time...
238
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,454
I got a call from Tessa's
principal at 7:00 a.m.
239
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,715
I understand you have a lot on your plate,
but, honestly, Virginia,
240
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,550
- if you can't commit to this schedule...
- Of course I can commit.
241
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,045
I'm here, right now, committed.
242
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,424
And what happened this morning,
I can assure you, will not happen again.
243
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,649
You ready for Chapter Four?
244
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:58,698
"This localised area of
bulbar vasocongestion"
245
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:03,616
"contracts strongly in a recurring pattern
during the orgasmic expression."
246
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:05,905
Translation?
247
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:10,706
When a girl starts to, you know...
248
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,296
I don't think that I do know, actually.
249
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:19,006
When a girl has an orgasm,
it feels really good.
250
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,012
Really?
251
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,675
And then after she has the orgasm,
252
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,471
obviously, she has a lot
of bulbar vasocongestion.
253
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,895
Have you read The Story of O?
254
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:38,522
It's French, so all of the characters
are going all the way all the time.
255
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,029
Andy Zeitlin, his mom has a copy.
256
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,537
His mom is a nympho.
257
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:51,080
You know what a nympho is, right?
It's when a girl really likes sex.
258
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,791
- All girls really like sex.
- How do you know that?
259
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,049
You've done it?
260
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,215
- Haven't you?
- Yeah.
261
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,755
Definitely.
262
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,056
Anyway, what happens next?
263
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:14,524
"Chapter 5. The Clitoris."
264
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,699
Mrs Johnson. I've read your book.
265
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,038
Have you?
266
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,967
Congratulations on all your success.
267
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,936
My goodness, what are we celebrating?
268
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:59,277
Apparently Hef isn't above shameless
and much-appreciated gift-giving.
269
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,153
Hugh Hefner sent us champagne?
270
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,274
I still don't understand why
he wants to invest in our research.
271
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,990
It's not just Hef. I told you, the phone
has been ringing off the hook.
272
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,114
I've got this big shot perfume guy
from New York who wants in,
273
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,409
- some millionaire from Tucson...
- He makes electric hand-massagers.
274
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,411
- A hand-massage company?
- Who says a girl
275
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,504
only uses a hand-massager on her hands?
276
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:22,501
They're eager to meet, can't wait
to put their money where our mouth is.
277
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,468
Anyway, it's got to be this week,
278
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,506
'cause Hef's back to Chicago on Friday
for the Playmate Pyjama Party.
279
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:31,225
I'm not interested in pyjamas.
We need to focus on the textbook.
280
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:35,142
Because everybody knows there's
a fortune to be made in medical textbooks.
281
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,858
Because our book could change
the face of medical education,
282
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,728
and yet, here we are, as always,
quibbling over money.
283
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,695
If people want to throw money at us because
they believe in the work we're doing,
284
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,989
we could at least listen, right?
285
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,207
Let Betty and I meet, and you
and Lester can stay with the textbook.
286
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,032
You're going to meet potential investors?
287
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,124
You can barely keep up
with the work as it is.
288
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,962
It's not a problem, Bill.
Betty and I can handle it.
289
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,002
And I will re-dedicate myself to the book.
290
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,563
Despite the fact that it means
long days and sleepless nights,
291
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:07,762
since I don't sleep anyways,
what with my screaming kids
292
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:08,958
and morbidly grumpy wife...
293
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,094
- it's Jane, Lester.
- Is it?
294
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,842
'Cause it's certainly not
the Jane I fell in love with.
295
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,514
It's most definitely Jane.
296
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,889
Look who it is.
297
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,651
It's Jane.
298
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,031
I am so sorry to interrupt
299
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:30,948
your mentally stimulating
and fulfilling day.
300
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,070
But this morbidly grumpy housewife
301
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,994
is taking a little time away
from spit-up and dirty diapers
302
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,494
to bring her husband
a homemade turkey sandwich and a Twinkie.
303
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,717
We're always so happy to see you, Jane.
304
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:52,803
But we made this plan together, Joy,
weeks ago.
305
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,097
I know, but tonight's the only night
that's good for the realtor.
306
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,578
Goodness, I feel like this realtor
has taken over our lives.
307
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,395
Okay. I'm sorry, Libby.
I didn't mean to upset you...
308
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,142
I'm not upset.
309
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,986
We just have leaflets to pass out
before the boycott,
310
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,071
and another book to pick out
before the next book group.
311
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,069
And we have things
that we started together, Joy.
312
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,163
I simply mean if Cesar Chavez
can walk 300 miles
313
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:22,583
- to the California state capital...
- You can walk, too, Libby.
314
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,755
Walk away, I mean.
315
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,091
Walk away from my life?
316
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,718
Like you?
317
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,929
Don't be silly.
318
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,556
If you're unhappy in your marriage...
319
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,433
Because I complain about Bill's hours?
320
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,314
Everyone complains, Joy.
321
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,112
Plus, I have children.
322
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,617
- And I'm not unhappy.
- No. Of course not.
323
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,575
You have so much ahead of you
with Bill's book being released.
324
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,949
I mean, he's being written about
325
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,950
in Time magazine, for crying out loud.
326
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:04,667
I can't imagine what it's like
to share in all that with him.
327
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,214
When Paul first fell in love with me...
328
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:14,805
I'm not exaggerating, Lib,
when I say that all the girls were jealous.
329
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:18,552
I had landed the most beautiful boy,
the All-State quarterback,
330
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,929
and not only that,
the boy who wanted to write
331
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,932
the great American novel
and move to Morocco.
332
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,817
Paul had so many dreams.
333
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,900
But that was a long time ago.
334
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:35,868
And Paul, I mean, he's a good teacher,
a fine coach, a nice husband...
335
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,747
But not one of those dreams has come true.
336
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,158
And I don't see that changing.
337
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,999
Which means the rest of my life
338
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:51,752
is this straight, flat highway,
right into the sunset.
339
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,765
I will go with you tomorrow night
to pass out leaflets. I promise.
340
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,015
Just come with me
to see the apartment tonight.
341
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,643
Please? I know you don't approve.
342
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,360
- I could use a friend anyway.
- Sorry I'm late.
343
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,276
Staying for dinner, Joy?
344
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,696
Actually, Joy and I already ate.
345
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,242
We have boycott work to do tonight.
346
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,835
I did make a casserole for you and Paul.
347
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,710
- For...
- I invited Paul over to join you.
348
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:33,467
We thought you could
keep each other company.
349
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:36,133
And it'll give you a chance to talk.
350
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,893
St. Louis threatening, back to throw.
351
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:46,890
He's got a man on the sidelines,
batted out of bounds. Incomplete.
352
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:50,401
Well, I saw an article
in the paper about your book.
353
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:54,022
- Something about "sexual"...
- Human Sexual Response.
354
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,489
That's it.
355
00:21:57,608 --> 00:22:02,034
In fact, I still have
quite a lot of work to do tonight...
356
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,577
You know, those academic books
can really sell.
357
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,076
Especially if you get
'em onto a curriculum,
358
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,203
get the medical schools
to use them as a textbook.
359
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,591
Yeah. That's exactly what I'm trying to do.
360
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:14,796
Yeah.
361
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,921
Well, I look forward to reading it.
Although, I don't know.
362
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:21,925
It doesn't sound like the kind of title
a married man should have on his bookshelf.
363
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,935
Actually, we think of the work as
a way to strengthen marriage.
364
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:28,932
Dissatisfaction in the bedroom
is one of the leading causes of divorce.
365
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,273
No kidding.
366
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:34,775
Well, luckily, Joy and I have never had
any trouble in that department, so...
367
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:41,114
Hamilton goes back to throw again.
368
00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:42,494
Jesus.
369
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,281
Anderson left the receiver wide open.
370
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:46,406
It's like déjà vu.
371
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:50,370
This is just like a game I played
against Washington State once.
372
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:53,794
- You played college ball?
- Yeah, about a thousand years ago.
373
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,757
I was quarterback at Nebraska.
374
00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,638
Paul Edley? You're...
375
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,472
That Paul Edley. Yeah.
376
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,218
The Washington State game.
377
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:08,061
- That was the 1949 Rose Bowl.
- It was.
378
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:11,648
By the fourth quarter, my two best receivers
were headed to the emergency room.
379
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:14,188
So we're fourth and goal.
380
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:16,358
I don't know, 40 seconds on the clock.
381
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:18,651
- Down by six.
- That's right.
382
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,533
And the second I got the snap,
all I could see was red.
383
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,995
My offensive line was Swiss cheese.
These guys were pouring in.
384
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,240
I had maybe three seconds till I was down.
385
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,804
Next thing I know, I look up and
I'm standing in the end zone.
386
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,661
You had to run the ball yourself.
387
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,086
Yeah, sometimes that's the only way.
388
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,427
I want to show you something.
389
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:59,314
1933 football stars set, mint condition.
390
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:04,118
It took me two years
to put this whole collection together.
391
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:09,915
Those look... Those look pretty great.
392
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,202
Look at this.
393
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:18,295
Ed Weir. Captain of the 1923 Nebraska team.
394
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:19,416
He was.
395
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,432
- George Wilson. "Wildcat" Wilson.
- Yep.
396
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,971
Thirty-seven career touchdowns
in college ball.
397
00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:32,063
Then he goes on to win
the NFL championship in '28.
398
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,933
- I did love the Wildcat.
- Yeah.
399
00:24:35,057 --> 00:24:38,812
I have to say,
I'm not much of a card collector,
400
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,734
but it's clear this is quite the set.
401
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,751
Ernie Nevers.
402
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:07,473
Single greatest fullback
in the history of football.
403
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:09,130
I don't know about that...
404
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:10,308
I do know.
405
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:14,556
One of the older boys in school, he said
he would give this one to me for $5.
406
00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:17,433
It might as well have been $500.
407
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,277
I got my pal, Wally, to
go in on it with me.
408
00:25:20,436 --> 00:25:23,940
It took me and Wally a month
of shovelling driveways
409
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,407
to scrape together the money.
410
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,618
Then, at the last minute, Wally pulled out.
411
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,825
I had to spend another month-and-a-half
in the snow
412
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,573
trying to make up the difference.
413
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,618
Well, you know,
it's like we were saying before,
414
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:40,665
sometimes you gotta...
You gotta do it on your own. Right?
415
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:48,676
I... I didn't know.
416
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,467
Hello?
417
00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:55,846
I have a cheeseburger
418
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:58,015
from D&W, no less.
419
00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:00,150
I already ate dinner.
420
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:03,108
A bag of potato chips is not dinner, Tessy.
421
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,157
Grandma called again.
422
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,055
She wants you to call her back.
423
00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:12,872
I also made a little stop at
Vandervoorfs on my way home.
424
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:29,263
Grandma bought me a dress
just like that for my homecoming.
425
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:32,466
It's pretty-
426
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,729
And do you have a date for tomorrow night?
427
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:39,640
It's not that kind of dance.
428
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:42,018
That's not what Sister Annabelle said.
429
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:46,151
I saw in the school bulletin that
they were looking for parents to chaperone,
430
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,898
so I called Sister Annabelle...
431
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:50,071
- You didn't.
- I did.
432
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:53,946
I thought about what you said,
and you're right.
433
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:57,909
Between Lisa and everything
that's been going on at work lately,
434
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,393
I think it's a good idea
for us to spend more time together.
435
00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:01,753
Oh, my God.
436
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:05,508
That hardly sounds like,
"Oh, my God, I'm so excited."
437
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,750
You're kidding.
438
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,344
The second you walk in at school,
everyone's gonna say,
439
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,134
"Look, there goes the sex mom."
440
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,884
My entire school knows who you are.
441
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:18,478
You're infamous now,
so if you're going, I'm not.
442
00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:25,569
All right. Well...
443
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:28,322
if you don't want to go to the dance,
444
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:31,362
then there's no reason
to keep the dress, is there?
445
00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:38,039
I got calls back from Illinois,
Indiana and Wisconsin.
446
00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:40,517
They're open to discussing the book
as a potential textbook,
447
00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,585
but they do wanna hear about it from you.
448
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:43,955
And Washington University?
449
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,958
They haven't called yet.
We could try calling them...
450
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:49,794
Didn't you wear that same tie yesterday?
451
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:53,096
My wardrobe options are limited
at the moment.
452
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:55,773
But it's not like I'm going to be
sleeping at the office forever.
453
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,764
Here's hoping.
454
00:27:57,885 --> 00:28:00,934
I've got our investor meetings
set up for tonight, Virginia,
455
00:28:01,054 --> 00:28:03,273
since the earliest Hef
could do was 9:00 p.m.
456
00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:05,651
Turns out he's a bit of a night owl.
457
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,610
Is tonight not good for you?
458
00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,190
No. Tonight's fine.
459
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:14,785
I might have to rearrange a few things, but
I said I would be there, so I'll be there.
460
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:16,370
Which calls would you like me to return?
461
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:18,784
Your hands are full. I'll take care of it.
462
00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:31,297
Hello. This is Dr Masters.
Yes, Bill Masters.
463
00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:34,297
I'm calling to speak to Dr Swanson.
464
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,807
Bob Grayson. Is Dr Stern available?
465
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:41,721
I was impressed, Dr Kraft,
by your symposium on ovarian torsion.
466
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:43,893
Your seminar on endometriosis.
467
00:28:44,014 --> 00:28:45,140
Study on fibroids.
468
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,147
So, did you see the review?
469
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:50,358
The write-up in the Scientific...
470
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:51,651
This is my first call I'm making.
471
00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:52,905
The first medical school...
472
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:55,276
But isn't it time
a medical school jumps on board?
473
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,153
A comprehensive course on the physiology...
474
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,664
Sexual response. Sexual response.
475
00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:02,995
Sex. Human sexual...
476
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:04,663
Sex. Hello?
477
00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:10,882
The book. A textbook.
478
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:12,626
Using the book as a textbook.
479
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,469
It would not be a "How to" course, no.
480
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,717
Well, you wouldn't want
the University of...
481
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,340
Minnesota... Kansas City...
482
00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:21,187
...Chicago beating you to the...
Cutting edge... The Cutting edge...
483
00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:24,017
And that is exactly
where Ohio State should be.
484
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:25,726
All right. We'll be in touch and...
485
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:30,728
Well, my hope is
at least I've aroused your curiosity.
486
00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:34,823
I hope I've aroused your curiosity,
if nothing else.
487
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,572
Excellent. Our publisher will be in touch
to set up the order.
488
00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:47,953
- Any more calls?
- Toledo and Madison.
489
00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:51,507
- How about Washington University?
- Not a peep.
490
00:29:53,834 --> 00:29:56,553
- Get Wash. U. on the line.
- Okeydoke.
491
00:29:59,214 --> 00:30:01,342
Never mind. Don't get Wash. U. on the line.
492
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:02,558
Okay.
493
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:15,235
Hello, Barton. I'm sorry
to stop by like this.
494
00:30:15,355 --> 00:30:17,608
- I tried to call, but...
- No.
495
00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:19,406
No, I've been out.
496
00:30:23,739 --> 00:30:25,241
To what do I owe the pleasure?
497
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:29,791
Well, I wanted to bend your ear
about Washington University.
498
00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:32,209
Honey, did we already open the wine?
499
00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:35,129
I didn't know we had company.
500
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:41,056
So, last night, when I told you
not to go to the dance
501
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:44,598
you completely refuse, and then today,
you called Sister Annabelle out of the blue
502
00:30:44,718 --> 00:30:47,597
- and told her you changed your mind?
- Well, you made it very clear
503
00:30:47,763 --> 00:30:49,310
that I would embarrass you,
504
00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:52,605
and that is the last thing
that I want to do, embarrass you.
505
00:30:52,726 --> 00:30:54,899
- You have work, don't you?
- Tessa.
506
00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,737
I have some meetings that came up, yes,
507
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:02,031
but that is not why
I cancelled the chaperoning.
508
00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:05,192
But even if I had, I don't understand
what you're getting so worked up about.
509
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:08,913
Because I wanted you not to go to the dance
because I asked you not to go to the dance.
510
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:10,326
Not because of work.
511
00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:13,001
Well, now you're just
being deliberately difficult.
512
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,381
I will pick you up at 10:00.
513
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,467
And don't forget,
you're staying at your dad's tonight.
514
00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:19,344
And, honey, you look...
515
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,592
Pretty.
516
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:28,596
I also have a berry cobbler,
so I hope everybody saved plenty of room.
517
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,226
Before I met Judith,
518
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,772
I didn't know it was possible to
go up two pants sizes in one meal.
519
00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,941
He's always teasing me, this one.
520
00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:46,364
- So, how did you two...
- Judith lives upstairs.
521
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:49,166
We used to run into each other
in the elevator.
522
00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:53,412
Every time she saw me,
I had a grocery bag full of frozen dinners.
523
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:56,006
One night the doorbell rang,
and there she was
524
00:31:56,164 --> 00:31:58,292
with homemade lasagna.
525
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,219
- You had a question about Wash. U.?
- Yes.
526
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:06,975
So, I've been...
527
00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:11,517
I've been talking to medical schools
about using our study as a textbook.
528
00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:13,265
I had
529
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,190
an encouraging meeting
with Dean Snyder at Wash. U.,
530
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:20,363
but I haven't heard back.
531
00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:23,366
I can ask around, if you like.
532
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,075
I'm sure Chancellor Fitzhugh
has mixed feelings about the book.
533
00:32:27,195 --> 00:32:28,788
I wouldn't know.
534
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,033
I don't remember
the last conversation I had with Fitzhugh
535
00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:33,707
that lasted longer than a
"How are you?" in the hall.
536
00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:38,465
When I came back to Wash. U.,
I gave up the provost job.
537
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:40,926
Couldn't wait to get back to doctoring.
538
00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:43,545
Now I come in at 7:00, I leave at 5:00.
539
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:47,383
And the best part is, I'm done
toadying up to the likes of Fitzhugh.
540
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,225
You should be done, too.
541
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,682
- I'm not toadying.
- But you'll be doing plenty of that
542
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,477
and more if you're trying to
get your book in there.
543
00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:56,566
Wash. U. is where the study started.
544
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,151
It's also where you were fired.
545
00:32:59,561 --> 00:33:01,279
Your book is a success, Bill.
546
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:03,398
You don't need to tilt
at windmills anymore.
547
00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:05,070
Wash. U. is the number-one school
in the Midwest.
548
00:33:05,192 --> 00:33:07,570
I spent 15 years there.
549
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,368
My practice got them national attention.
550
00:33:11,031 --> 00:33:13,125
Wash. U. is where the book belongs, Barton.
551
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:26,217
I do know Fitzhugh is hosting
a faculty cocktail party tonight.
552
00:33:28,590 --> 00:33:30,763
I had no intention of going.
553
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,474
So, I figured, who doesn't like roast beef?
554
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,226
- Am I right?
- Right.
555
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:43,526
So, your partner is the doctor
of the operation,
556
00:33:43,647 --> 00:33:45,149
and that makes you...
557
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:48,489
- I'm a psychologist.
- So you're both head doctors.
558
00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:51,284
You do the big head, he
does the little guy.
559
00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:56,418
Shalimar. A classic.
560
00:33:57,619 --> 00:34:00,122
Named after an emperor's wife.
561
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:03,838
Actually, named after a garden
the emperor built for his wife.
562
00:34:05,126 --> 00:34:06,628
Now you, on the other hand,
563
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,969
are a little harder to pin down.
564
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:14,307
Well, actually, I don't wear perfume.
565
00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:16,976
It makes me queasy when I eat.
566
00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:19,771
Allow me to introduce the Velvet Touch.
567
00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:24,529
Electric Heated Hand Massager 3000.
568
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:29,117
This little baby
is guaranteed to cure migraines,
569
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:30,986
cramps, muscle spasms...
570
00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:34,285
it also helps, or so I'm told,
571
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:36,750
in relieving certain pelvic pressures.
572
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,044
So, what makes someone
in the perfume industry...
573
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:41,663
Flavours and fragrances industry.
574
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:45,004
And it's not just perfume,
we also do food additives,
575
00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:47,510
- soap, hand lotion.
- My error entirely.
576
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:50,176
So what makes someone in
the flavours and fragrances industry
577
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:53,301
interested in sex research, Mr Logan?
578
00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:55,678
Well, as a doctor, I'm sure you know...
579
00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:59,056
I'm not a medical doctor,
my degree is in psychology.
580
00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:01,357
With your science and my engineering,
581
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:05,855
we can completely revolutionise
the electric hand-massaging industry,
582
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:10,071
from top to bottom. Pun intended.
583
00:35:11,693 --> 00:35:15,994
There are two questions
that have puzzled me my entire career.
584
00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:20,953
I think maybe we can answer
those questions together.
585
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,501
And what might those questions be?
586
00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:28,886
What is the smell of sex?
And how do we get it in a bottle?
587
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:34,720
If you got caught having sex,
first, you'd be whipped publicly.
588
00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:37,203
Then, you'd be taken to another location
and whipped again.
589
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:40,514
And for your second infraction,
it was a hot iron to the face.
590
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,061
God bless the Pilgrims.
591
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:45,398
First in a long line of
self-righteous schoolmarms
592
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,063
appointing themselves
the moral guardians of the free world.
593
00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:50,778
But you are going to change all of that.
594
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,068
One centrefold at a time.
595
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:56,576
I detect a little
scepticism in your voices.
596
00:35:56,696 --> 00:36:00,246
Well, you're sitting with a shrink
and a student of human nature, let's say.
597
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:03,252
So, scepticism is our bread and butter.
598
00:36:03,411 --> 00:36:06,415
Besides, I doubt this is the first time
that someone has questioned
599
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:11,758
the sincerity of a man whose employees
wear fuzzy ears and cotton tails.
600
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:15,720
This? This is all just candy coating
on the aspirin.
601
00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:19,019
We're both offering the same medicine here.
602
00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:21,012
Only, I know how to get folks to take it.
603
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:24,061
Human Sexual Response
has already sold 4,000 copies.
604
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,810
And I sell four million magazines a month.
605
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,813
I know science is expensive.
606
00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:33,613
I have a foundation ready to provide
whatever financial support you may need.
607
00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:38,200
I'm still not exactly clear on what it is
you expect from us in return.
608
00:36:38,947 --> 00:36:42,577
Well, you have sterling reviews from
The American Medical Journal.
609
00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:45,580
I wouldn't mind a little of what you have
rubbing off on me.
610
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:49,459
So, I'd like to feature you and Dr Masters
in the magazine.
611
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:52,961
I'd like to get your names on
the quarterly report of my foundation.
612
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,881
Changing the world
can be a lonely business.
613
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:57,966
Why not do it together?
614
00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:03,646
Why not, indeed?
615
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:05,765
Dallas?
616
00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:09,979
Sorry. The capital of Texas is Austin.
617
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,988
No. You're wrong.
618
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:17,570
I will drink anyway,
but only because I'm a good sport.
619
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:25,334
- Alaska.
- Juneau.
620
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:35,337
- I feel like I'm drinking by myself.
- Well, you sort of are.
621
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:39,633
How do you remember all those?
622
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:42,011
My dad travelled when I was a kid.
623
00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,020
.33-
624
00:37:48,183 --> 00:37:53,030
I used to tell him how I hated
how I never knew where he was.
625
00:37:54,647 --> 00:37:56,615
And so he put a map on my wall,
626
00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,532
and every time he'd go on tour,
627
00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:03,623
he'd put pins in the places he was going.
628
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:23,013
Thing is, I haven't done a lot.
629
00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:25,136
With girls.
630
00:38:26,262 --> 00:38:28,731
You probably know
a lot more about this stuff.
631
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:30,316
So, I know more.
632
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:34,608
Well, would you teach me?
633
00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:37,490
You know, show me what to do?
634
00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:03,766
Only that thing that we shouldn't,
we shouldn't do.
635
00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:06,803
What do you mean? Why not?
636
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:11,441
It's that time of the month.
637
00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,774
Where? You don't seem to be...
638
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:20,113
When a girl can get really pregnant,
and you don't have a rubber.
639
00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:25,614
Next time, we can plan ahead.
640
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,335
Well, you can't just leave me like this.
641
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:42,259
I mean, you have to do something.
642
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,601
No, not with your hand.
643
00:39:51,556 --> 00:39:53,103
Try that other thing.
644
00:39:54,559 --> 00:39:56,527
You know, what girls do with their mouth.
645
00:39:57,312 --> 00:40:00,532
- I don't... I don't want to do that.
- Why not?
646
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:02,651
You said that you know...
647
00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,319
I don't know.
648
00:40:05,361 --> 00:40:06,704
It's in your mom's book.
649
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,407
Jesus. Don't be such a prick tease.
650
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:14,579
Come on. With your mouth.
651
00:40:17,832 --> 00:40:19,880
No, no, no. No, no.
652
00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:38,395
Sorry. Did I pull your hair?
653
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,004
Barton. I see you brought a guest.
654
00:41:38,121 --> 00:41:39,998
Bill had a craving for rubber chicken.
655
00:41:40,123 --> 00:41:41,750
I said I know just the shindig.
656
00:41:42,542 --> 00:41:44,089
I am glad to run into you, Doug.
657
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,129
There's an opportunity
I'd like to discuss...
658
00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:48,757
Yes. Dean Snyder mentioned
you stopped by the campus.
659
00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:54,604
Wash. U. has the chance to become
one of the first schools in the country
660
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:56,230
to offer a stand-alone course...
661
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:57,940
Using your book as the textbook.
662
00:41:58,808 --> 00:42:02,438
Yes. I can send a copy
on over to you, if you'd like...
663
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:04,856
No need, Bill. I've read your book.
664
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:06,949
You have?
665
00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:09,577
What did you think?
666
00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,372
Would you get me a gin and tonic, Barton?
667
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,318
What are you drinking, Bill?
668
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,372
- I'm fine, thanks.
- Beefeater.
669
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,370
And plenty of ice.
670
00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:27,633
It's quite an achievement. Your book.
671
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,924
Although it's still not sex,
it's still graphic.
672
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:32,426
Still controversial.
673
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:37,226
You behaved badly, Bill. In my hospital.
674
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:41,146
You lied to your superiors,
you abused your authority,
675
00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:42,652
embarrassed me.
676
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:45,905
God knows you pulled the wool
over Barton's eyes all these years.
677
00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:49,985
Barton is a fine doctor, but he has
a tendency to show poor judgment.
678
00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:52,369
And not just in his professional life.
679
00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:56,249
You try to ignore gossip,
but when you hear the same rumour
680
00:42:56,365 --> 00:42:57,365
year after year...
681
00:42:57,492 --> 00:43:00,837
Obviously Barton did the right thing
walking away from the provost job.
682
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:05,751
Don't kid yourself, he fought tooth
and nail to hold onto that position.
683
00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:09,675
And frankly, that queer is lucky
to have a place in the university at all.
684
00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:14,222
Jesus. You are still a smug,
small-minded bureaucrat.
685
00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:19,018
I'm smart enough to know
when something's rotten.
686
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:22,476
Barton Scully with his disturbing rumours,
687
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,568
Bill Masters with his smutty book.
688
00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:28,193
At least I've been able to rid
Washington University of one of you.
689
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:31,694
They were out of Beefeater,
so I got Plymouth instead.
690
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:39,538
Another gin and tonic, please.
691
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,385
For heaven's sake, Bill, you're the one
asking a favour from Fitzhugh,
692
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:51,387
then you spit in the man's face?
693
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:55,346
I mean, how many times are we going to
have the Chancellor show us the door?
694
00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:56,718
What the hell is the matter with you?
695
00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,766
What is the matter with me?
I'm not the one who's fetching drinks
696
00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:01,730
for Doug Fitzhugh
like some goddamn serving boy!
697
00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:15,536
You know what you need to do?
You need to come work for me.
698
00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:17,451
I mean it.
699
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:20,542
I need someone to manage
my fertility practice, my OB patients,
700
00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:24,083
even perhaps
bring some patients of his own.
701
00:44:24,954 --> 00:44:27,002
That's what we need to do together.
702
00:44:28,374 --> 00:44:31,423
I'm flattered, Bill. But
I'm happy where I am.
703
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:33,046
You shouldn't be! He...
704
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,975
They do not appreciate you there.
705
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:42,768
- I don't think that's true.
- They listen to rumours.
706
00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:50,109
I really do need to be getting home.
707
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:52,949
To Judith?
708
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:06,496
You must wonder, what on earth...
709
00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:11,127
This is why you need to come work for me,
because I do not wonder.
710
00:45:12,168 --> 00:45:14,637
About Judith. About any of it. I know.
711
00:45:17,173 --> 00:45:18,971
And it doesn't matter to me.
712
00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:23,600
Come where you're wanted, Barton.
713
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:27,228
Where you're respected.
714
00:45:33,147 --> 00:45:35,024
Tessy, I wasn't that late.
715
00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:37,827
The meeting just went on and on.
716
00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:47,871
Well, did you at least have a good time?
717
00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:50,169
Did you meet any nice boys?
718
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,834
I was the last one waiting tonight.
719
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,004
So, was what you were doing so important
that you had to embarrass me like that?
720
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,387
Tessy, that's not...
721
00:46:02,927 --> 00:46:04,770
Honey, I'm sorry.
722
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,267
I really am.
723
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,078
Still sleeping in the dog house?
724
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,449
Only for the foreseeable future.
725
00:46:25,408 --> 00:46:27,206
Tell me that's not all hate mail.
726
00:46:27,326 --> 00:46:29,044
It's all hate mail.
727
00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:32,085
But then, this morning
I got curious, opened one up.
728
00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:34,876
It was a Lutheran pastor from Minnesota
729
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:38,676
asking for advice on how to
talk to his congregants about sex.
730
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,884
Who knows how many like that
are just sitting there,
731
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,427
waiting to be read?
732
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:46,350
Don't look at me. I'm really busy.
733
00:46:49,265 --> 00:46:51,518
Work and kids and the she-wolf,
734
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:53,940
I don't have time to sort laundry,
much less read 300 letters a day.
735
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:57,907
Let me tell you something about your wife.
She's not a she-wolf, she's bored.
736
00:46:58,024 --> 00:46:59,321
Out of her skull.
737
00:46:59,442 --> 00:47:02,946
She's too smart to be scraping applesauce
and wiping snot all day.
738
00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:07,058
The crazies, she should throw out.
739
00:47:07,158 --> 00:47:08,638
The good ones, she should write back.
740
00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:10,416
We'll pay her five bucks a bag.
741
00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:27,269
Hey, Tessa.
742
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:38,947
Sorry about the schnapps.
743
00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:43,574
Don't feel bad, the same thing
happened to me a couple weeks ago.
744
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:46,117
I threw up all over my cousin's dog.
745
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:52,958
Anyway... I had a really
great time with you.
746
00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:54,964
We should do it again.
747
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:00,131
I'd love to.
748
00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:17,153
We were prepared to recommend Dan Logan,
the perfume manufacturer.
749
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:18,733
Flavours and fragrances.
750
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:20,334
Flavours and fragrances manufacturer.
751
00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:21,679
But that was before we met Hef.
752
00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:24,615
Turns out, Hugh Hefner
comes with a built-in audience.
753
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:28,365
- Four million subscribers.
- Not to mention a ton of cash.
754
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:31,368
I would like to take Mr Hefner's name
out of consideration.
755
00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,583
What? Bill, we just told you...
756
00:48:34,703 --> 00:48:37,832
Hugh Hefner stands for everything
that we're trying to get away from.
757
00:48:37,998 --> 00:48:39,500
- Sex?
- Titillation.
758
00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,844
He believes in the work that we are doing.
759
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:43,049
He's using us,
760
00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:45,639
because we're the Good Housekeeping
Seal of Approval.
761
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,929
Once he has our names in his magazine,
762
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:50,678
suddenly he's not just
peddling girlie photos,
763
00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:52,222
he's a high-minded academic.
764
00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:54,746
But where does that leave us,
when we're squeezed in between.
765
00:48:54,849 --> 00:48:56,066
Miss July and Miss August?
766
00:48:56,183 --> 00:48:59,107
We have killed ourselves to convince
the medical establishment
767
00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:00,708
that what we are doing is legitimate.
768
00:49:00,771 --> 00:49:03,695
And they are convinced.
We couldn't have more glowing reviews.
769
00:49:04,316 --> 00:49:05,363
It's not enough.
770
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:10,206
Hugh Hefner is the obvious choice, Bill.
Nobody else even comes close.
771
00:49:13,826 --> 00:49:15,544
Why do people kiss?
772
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:18,664
How did that start? It's
baffling, isn't it?
773
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:21,793
How does putting your lips
on someone else's lips
774
00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:24,591
serve any evolutionary purpose at all?
775
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:27,097
Smell.
776
00:49:27,214 --> 00:49:30,263
Lips, tongue, incidental.
That's all background noise.
777
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:33,183
It's what's happening right here.
778
00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:37,938
Smell tells us everything we need to know.
We can smell if someone is sick.
779
00:49:38,058 --> 00:49:39,184
It's not a good idea.
780
00:49:39,852 --> 00:49:42,822
We can smell if a woman is ovulating,
very good idea.
781
00:49:42,938 --> 00:49:46,283
We can smell fear. We can smell revulsion.
782
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,573
We can smell desire.
783
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,999
Now, this perfume
does not smell like desire.
784
00:49:55,284 --> 00:49:58,254
It smells like a bouquet of fresh flowers.
785
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:01,586
Which is telling us what, exactly?
786
00:50:02,791 --> 00:50:06,546
The only thing this perfume is telling us
is that it smells nice.
787
00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:08,885
I'm not very interested in nice.
788
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:12,931
I'm interested in a fragrance that says,
"I want you."
789
00:50:13,093 --> 00:50:15,767
"Go to bed with me.
You can't live without me."
790
00:50:20,768 --> 00:50:24,773
Well... Smell is one of the disciplines
791
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:27,195
we're hoping to explore
in the next phase of our research.
792
00:50:27,316 --> 00:50:30,786
That's why, when we began
discussing a potential investor,
793
00:50:30,903 --> 00:50:35,033
Mrs Johnson and I immediately agreed
that you were the right man for the job.
794
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,579
If you'll excuse me,
I will get started on the paperwork.
795
00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,798
What's the story? Married? Single?
796
00:50:53,008 --> 00:50:54,055
Mrs Johnson?
797
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,105
Is married, yes.
798
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:20,794
Is it interesting reading at least?
799
00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:23,835
I have plenty to do, Lester.
I don't need a hobby.
800
00:51:24,707 --> 00:51:26,550
Five dollars a bag isn't a hobby.
801
00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:30,216
I got paid $35 dollars to be a banana
in that Chiquita commercial.
802
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,134
Granted, that was a long time ago,
and I had to wear that suit.
803
00:51:43,892 --> 00:51:44,984
Look.
804
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:49,273
Answering hate mail is not the
most lucrative job in the world.
805
00:51:49,857 --> 00:51:51,985
But, let's face it,
806
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:56,865
you sitting at home all day with our sweet,
but screaming kids, is never going to work.
807
00:51:58,657 --> 00:52:00,204
You're too smart for that.
808
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:05,372
And who knows?
809
00:52:06,874 --> 00:52:10,674
Maybe you'll find someone
who's more confused than we are.
810
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,723
I think I already did.
811
00:52:17,718 --> 00:52:19,720
Debbie. From Des Plaines.
812
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:23,774
"Dear Dr Master and Mrs Jonathan."
813
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:28,396
You have to admit.
That's a pretty promising start.
814
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:32,759
"I cannot stop thinking about
the wickedness of your book."
815
00:52:33,651 --> 00:52:36,051
"The pictures come into my head,
and they will not leave me."
816
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,743
"Men and women in all their nakedness."
817
00:52:41,033 --> 00:52:42,956
"Hands reaching, groping."
818
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:46,293
"Skin quivering with lust,"
819
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:48,545
"yearning to be touched."
820
00:52:49,249 --> 00:52:51,593
"A whispering so close to your ear"
821
00:52:51,752 --> 00:52:55,427
"that you can feel the hot breath
tingle down your spine."
822
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:05,441
- This does not mean that I forgive you.
- I didn't ask you to forgive me.
823
00:53:06,767 --> 00:53:09,987
- Well, I don't.
- Well, then, good.
824
00:53:33,919 --> 00:53:35,171
Hello?
825
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:38,723
Joy?
826
00:53:42,636 --> 00:53:43,853
Joy?
827
00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:47,225
Hello?
828
00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:48,980
Paul.
829
00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:52,146
Sorry. Your car is running.
830
00:53:52,855 --> 00:53:55,153
Thank you. I didn't realise.
831
00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,152
Is everything all right?
832
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:02,824
Well, it's... It's Joy. She...
833
00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:04,291
She collapsed.
834
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:09,205
And I took her in, and
they're calling it a...
835
00:54:09,955 --> 00:54:11,673
A brain aneurysm.
836
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:16,344
- Where is she now?
- She's at the ICU.
837
00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,681
And she's going to be there for a while.
838
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:22,263
She's going to be all right?
839
00:54:23,343 --> 00:54:28,270
Well, the extent of the brain damage,
the doctor said, isn't clear yet,
840
00:54:29,725 --> 00:54:31,147
but it's...
841
00:54:34,188 --> 00:54:37,112
"Catastrophic" was the
word they kept using.
842
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:41,446
She's going to make it,
the doctor said, is the good news.
843
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:43,993
That's...
844
00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:46,750
That's the good news. I'm sorry.
845
00:55:04,218 --> 00:55:06,721
Who goes somewhere
where they're not wanted?
846
00:55:10,557 --> 00:55:14,733
You're wanted. Here.
847
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:33,122
I'll be right back.
848
00:55:49,429 --> 00:55:51,272
No, no, no. Stay. Stay.
849
00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:11,035
She'll go back to sleep in a minute.