male narrator: WHEN STORAGE UNITS ARE ABANDONED...
IN THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS...
THE TREASURES WITHIN...
- THAT'S THE PRIZE.
narrator: ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION.
- YEAH. - YEAH.
- RIGHT HERE! - YEAH!
narrator: COMING UP...
- THIS IS A WHOLE HUNTING LODGE.
9-MILLIMETER. - SHELL RELOADER.
- WE GOT A FREEZER.
[coughs] - THERE SOMETHING IN THERE?
- UH-- - DON'T OPEN THAT.
- I FOUND A COUPLE MOTORCYCLE PIECES IN MY LOCKER.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORTH?
- IT'S TOTALLY A SECRET AGENT'S LOCKER.
I KNOW WE'RE GONNA FIND ALL THIS STUFF
LIKE BINOCULARS AND SUICIDE PILLS.
OH, MY GOD! MOE!
WE'RE MILLIONAIRES.
[country rock music]
- YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET.
THAT'S WHY WE DO THIS, BUB.
- BREAK OUT ANOTHER THOUSAND.
- I CAN TURN THIS STUFF FROM CRAP TO CUTE.
- I SEE TREASURES.
- IT'S FABULOUS.
♪ ♪
all: OH!
- YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT WE FIND.
- READY TO GO?
- ALL RIGHT. - YEAH!
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪
- HEY!
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪ - WHOA!
- ♪ YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ♪
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪ - RIGHT HERE.
- AND IT'S SOLD!
- TODAY WE'RE IN PONDER, TEXAS.
HMM.
NOW PONDER IS AN EENSIE-WEENSIE,
TEENY-WEENY, LITTLE BITTY TOWN,
SO YOU KNOW EVERYBODY'S
GONNA COME OUT JUST TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.
- I LOVE GOING TO THESE SMALL TOWNS.
THE PEOPLE ARE BORN HERE, AND THEY NEVER, EVER LEAVE.
IN TINY TOWNS LIKE THIS,
FURNITURE JUST GETS PASSED DOWN
FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION.
SO I'M HOPING TO SCORE SOME OLD PIECES
WITH A LOT OF CHARACTER.
- I'M EXCITED ABOUT PONDER,
BECAUSE WE'RE LOOKING FOR HIGH-END.
EARLIER THIS WEEK,
MARY BOUGHT A LOCKER.
- I SOLD IT, $600, RIGHT HERE ON THE FRONT.
- HE THINKS IT'S NOT HIGH-END ENOUGH,
BUT I THINK IT'S SUPER-COOL.
- SO MOVING THIS STUFF REALLY
HASN'T BEEN TOP PRIORITY ON MY LIST.
- I KNOW, I GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT RUMMAGING IN TRASH.
YOU GOTTA STEER ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, MOE.
- I GOTTA RIDE YOU LIKE A HORSE TO HOLD YOU STRAIGHT.
- EWW, MOE!
SICK.
- [laughs]
- YOU KNOW, RUMOR HAS IT
THAT THIS SMALL TOWN HASN'T HAD AN AUCTION
IN ALMOST THREE YEARS.
IT'S A TOWN EVENT, SO IF I WANT A LOCKER TODAY,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO BID QUIETLY, AND FLY IN
UNDERNEATH THEIR RADAR.
- WE JUST NEED A SMALL UNIT TODAY.
THE SHELVES AT THE WAREHOUSE ARE FILLED TO THE GILLS,
SO IT'S ALL ABOUT QUALITY TODAY, NOT QUANTITY.
GOOD LORD. - THE WHOLE TOWN IS OUT HERE.
ANY TIME YOU COME TO A SMALL TOWN LIKE PONDER,
IF YOU DRAW ATTENTION TO ANY LITTLE THING,
THEY POUNCE ON IT, AND THEY'RE LIKE ZOMBIES,
AND THEY JUST EAT YOU UP.
[zombies moaning, growling]
EAT YOUR BRAINS.
- ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOYS AND GIRLS, HERE ARE THE RULES FOR TODAY'S AUCTION.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO LOOK AROUND.
THERE'LL BE NO STEPPING INSIDE,
NO REACHING INSIDE, NO KICKING THE BOXES.
TODAY'S AUCTION IS A CASH-ONLY SALE.
ARE YOU READY TO GO? all: YEAH!
- HAMMER UP, LET'S GO!
- HEY!
[all murmuring]
- THE LAWNMOWER PROBABLY RUNS,
'CAUSE THEY FOLDED IT UP TO STORE IT.
- MEANS THEY TOOK CARE OF IT. - YEAH.
- AND THERE'S A STANDING TOOLBOX.
- I SEE TOOLS, I SEE A GUN CABINET, I EVEN SEE ME
ONE OF THEM SINGING BASSES THAT HANG ON THE WALL.
THIS IS A WHOLE HUNTING LODGE.
- THIS IS GRANDPA'S LOCKER.
I WANT GRANDMA'S LOCKER.
- THIS IS OVER $1,000 RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
PEOPLE SEE A HINT OF TOOLS IN HERE,
AND IT'S GONNA GO CRAZY.
THESE TOOLS ARE RUN-OF-THE-MILL, GARDEN VARIETY.
NOT WORTH MY TIME.
- NO. YOU CAN'T SELL ONE BARSTOOL.
- I KNOW. THERE MIGHT BE MORE.
- DO YOU SEE ANY? NO.
NICE STUFF, BUT NOTHING HIGH-END.
- I'M REALLY TRYING TO FOCUS
ON HIGH-END STUFF, BUT IT'S HARD TO PASS UP
POTENTIAL TREASURE.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S SELL MY LITTLE MIXED UNIT HERE.
AM I GONNA GET 1,000? 1,000, NOW 1,100.
- YEAH! - NOW 1,200 IN THE BACK.
1,200, NOW 1,300. - YEAH!
- NOW 1,400 IN THE BACK. - YEAH!
- 1,400, NOW 1,500, NOW 1,600 TO THE BACK.
- GOLLY, THOSE PONDER RONDER-ERS,
OR PONDERS--PONDERERS-- HOWEVER YOU SAY IT,
THEY DANG SURE CAME OUT TO PLAY TODAY.
- 1,600, 1,700? - YEAH!
- NOW 1,800. - YEP!
- NOW 1,900 IN THE BACK. WOULD YOU GIVE 1,900?
- YEAH! - 1,900, NOW 2,000,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
2,000 GOING ONCE. 2,000 GOING TWICE.
SOLD, SOLD, SOLD IN THE BACK, $1,900.
- THIS LOCKER'S SO GOOD, IT DOESN'T MATTER
THAT OUR WAREHOUSE IS FULL.
I'LL SELL THE DAMN STUFF IN THE PARKING LOT.
OOH, YEAH, THAT'S WORTH SOME MONEY RIGHT THERE.
- SHH, SHH. - I KNOW, IT'S--
- DON'T LET EVERYBODY KNOW ABOUT THAT.
WITH EVERYONE IN TOWN HERE TODAY,
THE LAST THING WE NEED IS RICKY
DRAWING ATTENTION TO THE GOOD LOCKERS.
- THIS IS THE KIND OF LOCKER
WHERE I'M LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS STUFF?"
I THINK THAT'S FOR CHANGING YOUR TIRE.
I THINK THAT'S FOR A MOTORCYCLE.
STILL HOLDING OUT.
- I DO SEE THAT SPRINGER FRONT END SITTING RIGHT THERE,
AND, UH, IT IS VALUABLE.
HOPEFULLY A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT.
THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE, YOU KNOW,
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT SPRINGER FRONT END.
IF I WANT THIS LOCKER,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE.
- VIC LOOKS LIKE HE LIKES IT.
HE'S DOING THIS.
HE'S STILL LOOKING IN THERE.
OR MAYBE HE'S LOOKING AT SOME GIRL'S BUTT, I DON'T KNOW.
- SO--
REALLY?
HE DOESN'T THINK IT'S "HIGH-END."
THAT'S TWO LOCKERS NOW WITH NOTHING.
- ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
200 HERE. 200, NOW 300.
NOW 300, 300, NOW 400.
400, NOW 500. - YEAH!
- NOW 600, 600, 600! 600!
- I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHO I'M BIDDING AGAINST.
IT'S LIKE CHILDREN OF THE CORN.
- 700, 700, 700. DO 700? - YEAH!
- 700. WE'LL DO 700. AND 800.
900, 900, 900?
900 GOING ONCE.
900 GOING TWICE.
SOLD, SOLD, SOLD, $800 RIGHT HERE.
[applause]
- YOU KNOW, KEEPING QUIET,
TRYING TO BLEND IN WITH THE LOCALS HERE REALLY WORKED.
I STOLE THAT UNIT.
[zombies moaning, growling]
I GOTTA TAKE A LOOK AT THIS MOTORCYCLE UNIT RIGHT NOW.
WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE THERE'S ENOUGH PARTS FOR A WHOLE BIKE IN THERE.
WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHY I BOUGHT THIS LOCKER,
AND IT WAS FOR THIS SPRINGER MOTORCYCLE FRONT END RIGHT HERE.
IF YOU'RE BUILDING AN OLD-SCHOOL STYLE MOTORCYCLE,
THIS IS THE FRONT END THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE ON THERE.
ANGLE GRINDER.
THESE ARE PRETTY EXPENSIVE.
THAT'S 100 BUCKS USED, ALL DAY.
WELL, HERE'S SOME MORE PARTS TO THE BIKE RIGHT HERE,
STICKING OUT IN FRONT.
WELL, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY TO A V-TWIN MOTORCYCLE.
THIS HAS TO GO IN MY "TO BE CHECKED OUT" PILE.
I'M GETTING DOWN TO IT. THIS IS A SET OF CRUISE BARS,
FOR A MOTORCYCLE.
THEY SET UP IN FRONT OF THE FRAME,
AND WHEN YOU'RE GOING...
YOUR FEET GO UP HERE, AND YOU'RE CRUISING.
$50 PIECE.
LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE WE GOT IN HERE.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
WELL, THAT'S UNEXPECTED, NOBODY SEEING THEM.
HERE'S A SET OF RALLY WHEELS.
I WONDER IF THE CENTER CAPS ARE IN THERE.
AHA, I KNEW I SPOTTED 'EM.
THERE YOU GO.
ORIGINAL RALLY WHEELS AND CAPS,
CORVETTE, '69 CHEVELLE, BEAUTIFUL STUFF.
150 BUCKS APIECE.
AND THERE'S TWO OF THEM.
BASICALLY, RIGHT NOW, THIS WHOLE LOCKER IS RIDING ON YOU, BABY.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T BUILD BIKES FROM THE GROUND UP,
BUT LUCKILY, I KNOW JUST THE GUY
TO BRING THIS TO.
- OH, PRETTY NICE BARSTOOLS.
- NICE JOBSITE TOOLBOX.
- YEAH, IT'S A REAL NICE TOOLBOX.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SHIPPING CONTAINER IS FOR, DON'T YOU?
IT'S FOR SHIPPING SEMEN.
WORTH A LOT OF MONEY.
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY RICKY KNOWS SO MUCH ABOUT SEMEN,
BUT THAT'S COOL.
- WE GOT ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR BIKES.
THIS IS THE LAST LOCKER OF THE DAY.
- BUNCH OF JUNK.
- IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE NOT GONNA FIND ANYTHING HIGH-END.
- I CAN'T EVEN FIX UP ANY OF THIS STUFF.
- THAT IS A NICE COMMERCIAL TOOLBOX THERE.
DON'T KNOW IF IT WOULD HAVE ANYTHING IN IT THOUGH.
I'M HAPPY WITH THE LOCKER I GOT TODAY.
I'M NOT TAKING A RISK ON FARM EQUIPMENT.
- MY DREAMS OF PONDER ARE SHATTERED.
YEAH, THE ONLY ANTIQUE YOU'RE GONNA FIND IN THERE
IS A DEAD CAT.
WHICH IS SAD.
- ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WHAT DO YOU WANNA GIVE? 200, NOW 200.
NOW 300, 300, 300. NOW 400.
- YEAH!
- THERE, NOW 500, 500.
NOW 600. - YEAH!
- NOW 700, NOW 800.
- 800! - 800, 900 NOW.
900, NOW 950.
950, YEAH. NOW 1,000.
- YEAH! - 1,000.
NOW 1,050. WANNA DO 1,050?
1,050 GOING ONCE.
GOING TWICE. WE GONNA GET 1,050?
I SOLD IT RIGHT THERE. - WHOO!
- PLAN WAS TO GET ONE SMALL LOCKER TODAY,
BUT WE WOUND UP GETTING TWO BIG 'UNS.
BUT IF I KNOW MY SEMEN, AND I THINK I DO,
WE'RE GONNA MAKE SOME MONEY OFF THAT LOCKER.
GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE ON THAT ONE.
- I'M BUMMED.
THERE WASN'T THE SMALL-TOWN ANTIQUES
AND COLLECTIBLES THAT I HAD HOPED FOR.
MAYBE I'LL HAVE TO THINK TWICE BEFORE I COME BACK TO PONDER.
- WE DIDN'T GET WHAT WE WERE LOOKING FOR TODAY.
AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE THAT OTHER LOCKER.
- YEAH.
MOE AND I BOUGHT THIS UNIT THE OTHER DAY.
IF WAS FILLED WITH FILE CABINETS
AND DOCUMENTS.
IT'S TOTALLY A SECRET AGENT'S LOCKER.
LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT.
- WE CALLED IN THE TROOPS
TO HELP US WITH THE TWO LOCKERS WE BOUGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.
LOOK INSIDE. - NICE AND CLEAN.
- 40 BUCKS RIGHT THERE.
- ENGINE STAND, $100 BILL.
- THERE'S 75 BUCKS.
- WE GOT A FREEZER!
[coughs] - THERE SOMETHING IN THERE?
DON'T PUKE ON ME. DON'T OPEN THAT!
- UH, FREE--FREEZER. - DON'T OPEN THAT.
- IT'S NOT BAD, BUT I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SMELL THAT.
50 BUCKS.
WE PAID $1,900 FOR THIS UNIT,
SO WE GOTTA DO A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN A MUSTY OLD FREEZER.
WHOO!
THOSE ARE ALL AMERICAN TOOLS, BUBBA.
I'M GONNA SAY 1,200, PLUS THE TOOLBOX.
12-GUN GUN CABINET.
PROBABLY 500.
HERE'S AN INSULATED CAMO JACKET, BRAND-NEW.
250 ON THE BAG RIGHT THERE.
ANOTHER 250.
- ALL DAY LONG. SHELL RELOADER.
- PUT YOUR POWDER IN THERE, YOUR PRIMERS GO IN THERE...
- [makes squishing sound] - 100 BUCKS.
WHOO, LOOK AT ALL THAT RELOADING STUFF.
OOH, THAT'S SOME BIG STUFF.
9-MILLIMETER, .357. THAT'S 200 BUCKS.
WITH ALL THIS HUNTING STUFF,
WE MADE BACK OUR INITIAL INVESTMENT AND THEN SOME.
THE REST OF THIS LOCKER IS GAME IN THE BAG.
- OLD CLUBS, 20 BUCKS.
- HERE'S ONE OF YOUR "BA-ZICKA-ZICKA-ZICKA" THINGS.
- WHAT IS IT?
- A "BA-ZICKA-ZICKA-ZICKA-ZICKA" THING.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
A RECORD PLAYER?
- YEAH, DON'T Y'ALL DO THAT "BA-ZICKA-ZICKA-ZICKA" THING?
- NO, WE JUST PUT RECORDS ON THERE AND PLAY 'EM.
GOT A LITTLE OVERSIZED CHAIR. 100 BUCKS.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
- IT'S A ROLLTOP DESK. - IT DAMN SURE IS.
300, ALL DAY LONG. - YEAH.
THAT'S A PRETTY NICE WASHER AND DRYER.
THAT'S 350.
- I LIKE PONDER, TEXAS.
WELL, THIS LOCKER TURNED OUT TO BE A BULL'S-EYE.
THAT'S A LITTLE HUNTING HUMOR FOR YOU.
- THAT'S A LICK.
- OKAY, WE GOTTA FINISH LOADING.
- WE STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE OTHER UNIT.
- I KNOW. - OKAY.
- HERE WE ARE.
- WE'RE FINALLY BACK AT THE LOCKER
MOE AND I BOUGHT THE OTHER DAY. ALL RIGHT.
I ALL THIS SECRET CIA STUFF,
LIKE BINOCULARS AND SUICIDE PILLS.
[laughs]
WELL, IN ONE OF THOSE, I KNOW THERE'S A DOCUMENT.
[laughter] - O-OKAY.
- MOE, I FEEL IT. THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE.
- YOU'RE FEELING IT? - YEP.
- WORK ORDERS FROM 2004.
- MOE, IT'S NOT GONNA JUST BE OBVIOUS.
- OKAY. - [laughs]
THIS LOOKS LIKE A GREAT TABLE.
- CAREFUL.
OKAY, THIS IS-- - [laughs]
- THIS IS MID-CENTURY.
IT'S GOT GOOD LEGS.
IT JUST NEEDS TO BE PAINTED, THAT'S ALL.
WE COULD SELL THIS FOR $375.
- THAT'S COOL, BUT WHERE'S ALL THE SPY STUFF?
- OKAY, TARZAN. - [laughs]
MOE!
OH, MY GOD!
- WHAT?
- MOE! OH, MY GOD! - WHAT?
- I THINK I FOUND A GOLDEN TICKET.
IT LOOKS OLD.
- "FRANKLIN." I WONDER IF IT'S BEN.
DAMN.
- IT'S--[laughs]
LIKE, LET'S TRY TO POP THIS.
THERE WE GO. - ALL RIGHT.
- OH! [laughs]
OOH.
[gasps] SO NEAT!
- LOOK AT THAT, IT'S GOT A PICTURE
OF BEN FRIGGIN' FRANKLIN.
- OH, MY GOD, MOE. WE'RE MILLIONAIRES.
- THERE'S GOT TO BE A PATENT DATE ON THIS.
LOOK.
- NO. - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
"DECEMBER 8TH, 1891."
WE NEED TO TAKE THIS
AND GET IT APPRAISED. - YEAH, WE DO.
- LET'S LOAD UP THE STUFF WE CAN,
AND WE'LL JUST SEND THE BOYS FOR THE REST OF IT, OKAY?
- SOUNDS GOOD.
- SO WE'RE BACK AT THE LOCKER WE PAID 1,000 BUCKS FOR.
WE ALMOST TRIPLED OUR MONEY ON THE FIRST LOCKER.
LET'S SEE IF THE SECOND ONE LIVES UP TO THE HYPE.
STEAM VAC.
- THAT'S A $100 BILL RIGHT THERE.
BRAND-NEW BOX OF SURGE PROTECTORS.
HOW MANY'S IN THERE?
- 50 AND THEY'RE $15 APIECE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
ANTHIS IS WHY I BOUGHT THIS UNIT RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS TO TRANSPORT BULL SEMEN.
- SO, WHAT, DOES THE BULL
GO IN A LITTLE ROOM AND LOOK AT PICTURES OF COWS?
WELL, I DEFINITELY WANT TO SEE WHAT THAT'S WORTH.
- OKAY.
WHAT THE--WHO YOU GOT THERE? - THIS IS BUCKY.
- RECKON THEY CARRIED SOME OF HIS STUFF IN THERE?
- POSSIBLY.
THAT'S A PRETTY NICE LITTLE BIKE.
75 BUCKS.
- 20 BUCKS ON THE DOG CARRIER.
- THERE'S 75 BUCKS. - PROBABLY 40 BUCKS ON THAT ONE.
- 75 BUCKS.
- OH.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
- THAT'S A BRANDER.
- THAT IS A BRANDING IRON.
AND THAT'S A BRANDING IRON RIGHT THERE.
AND THIS IS THE MO-FO OF BRANDING IRONS RIGHT THERE.
- INITIATION LATER TODAY!
- LET'S GET THIS CHECKED OUT
WHEN WE GO CHECK OUT THAT SEMEN CARRIER.
- YEAH.
SAWZALL, 75?
- AND THEN WE GET TO THE TOOLBOX.
150 BUCKS. - YEAH.
- BRONC RIDING SPURS, 75 BUCKS.
THIS IS FOR SADDLE BRONC RIDING.
COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS.
HERE'S A BAREBACK RIDING RIG.
$150. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
20 BUCKS. CALF ROPING HEAD, 50 BUCKS.
BARSTOOLS, $30.
- LIGHT SWITCHES. - BRAND-NEW, THREE APIECE.
SO THAT'S $300 ON THAT BOX RIGHT THERE.
16 BOXES.
300 BUCKS.
- ALL NEW. - $600 RIGHT THERE.
- [laughs] AND MORE. - 150 BUCKS.
THERE'S MORE, 250 THERE.
300 BUCKS ON THAT ONE. - WHOO!
- WE KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK IN PONDER.
WE'RE UP OVER 12 GRAND.
BY THE TIME WE GET THE SEMEN TANK
AND THE BRANDING IRONS CHECKED OUT,
THERE'S NO TELLING HOW BIG A LOAD WE'LL HAVE.
I'LL NEVER SEE ANOTHER POOR DAY.
- I FOUND A SPRINGER FRONT END,
AND A COUPLE OTHER MOTORCYCLE PIECES IN MY LOCKER.
SO I'M TAKING ALL THIS STUFF
TO MOTORCYCLE EXPERT RICK FAIRLESS.
LAST TIME I WAS HERE,
THINGS DIDN'T GO TOO WELL.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? - IT'S A CHINESE SCOOTER.
THEY MAKE 50 MILLION OF THESE THINGS.
IT'S LIKE A DISPOSABLE CIGARETTE LIGHTER.
HAND ME THAT, VICTOR. LET ME LOOK AT THAT.
OKAY, YOU'VE GOT AN ENGINE GUARD HERE.
- I THOUGHT THEY CALLED THEM CRUISE BARS.
- IT'S CALLED AN ENGINE GUARD. - OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORTH?
- OH, VICTOR, IT'S NOT WORTH A WHOLE LOT.
EVERYBODY PULLS THESE OFF TO MAKE THEIR BIKE LOOK COOLER.
YOU CAN SEE, I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM.
THIS THING'S PROBABLY WORTH 20 BUCKS OR SO.
THIS IS AN INTERESTING PIECE HERE, VICTOR.
THIS IS CALLED A THUNDERHEADER.
THIS IS A VERY EXPENSIVE EXHAUST SYSTEM.
THE PROBLEM IS, SOMEBODY TOOK A CHROME THUNDERHEADER,
AND THEY HOSED IT BLACK WITH SPRAY CANS.
- IS IT POSSIBLE WE COULD TAKE THIS PAINT OFF AND RE-CHROME?
- NO. YOU--THERE'S NO CHROME SHOP IN THE COUNTRY
THAT WILL RE-CHROME EXHAUST.
THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO REALLY
IS PAINT IT BLACK, LIKE IT WAS, AND, UH--
UH-OH, THE VOICE OF DOOM.
YES, MA'AM?
OH, MA, THIS IS MY FRIEND, VIC.
VIC, THIS IS MY MA.
- HI, MOM, HOW ARE YOU?
I'M FROM NEW YORK.
- HE'S GOT THESE PARTS
THAT HE'S TRYING TO SELL, SO I'M LOOKING AT 'EM,
AND TELLING HIM EXACTLY WHAT HE'S GOT AND WHAT IT'S WORTH.
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY, MAMA.
- TAKE THAT [bleep] TO NEW YORK CITY.
- THANKS, MA.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
SHE'S VERY OUTSPOKEN.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY THIS IS WORTH THEN TODAY?
- YOU'D BE GOOD IF YOU GET 100 BUCKS.
- OKAY. WELL, RICK, YOU KNOW,
THIS IS THE REASON WHY I BOUGHT THE LOCKER.
- WELL, LET ME LOOK AT IT, VICTOR,
AND MAKE SURE IT'S NOT A CHINESE REPOP.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT A CHINESE REPOP.
- OKAY.
- IT LOOKS LIKE ORIGINAL EQUIPMENT.
THIS PARTICULAR FRONT END LOOKS LIKE IT'S OFF
A MID-1990'S MODEL CALLED THE BAD BOY.
- OH, OKAY.
- THEY'RE POPULAR BECAUSE THEY'RE COOL.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE VALUE WOULD BE ON THAT?
- PROBABLY...YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO DO A QUICK SALE,
400 BUCKS.
- I KNEW THESE PARTS HAD SOME VALUE.
I JUST PAID TOO MUCH FOR THE LOCKER.
AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET SPANKED LIKE LAST TIME.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, AS ALWAYS. - GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
- THANK YOU.
- MARY AND I FOUND THIS VERY OLD TYPEWRITER
WITH BEN FRANKLIN'S PICTURE ON IT,
SO WE'RE AT BEST SERVICES TO GET THIS THING CHECKED OUT.
ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH FRANKLIN HAS GOTTA BE WORTH
AT LEAST A $100 BILL.
- HI.
- I'VE READ ABOUT THESE.
I'VE NEVER TOUCHED ONE.
- WE, UH, FOUND THIS IN A LOCKER,
AND WE WANT TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT IT.
- WELL, THIS WAS DESIGNED PROBABLY 20 YEARS
INTO THE PRODUCTION OF TYPEWRITERS IN AMERICA.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THIS KEYBOARD, BEING ROUNDED LIKE THIS,
CAN YOU IMAGINE TYPING?
HERE, TRY IT. - YEAH, I WANNA--
- SEE--SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. - THAT'S JUST AWKWARD.
- IT WAS SOMEWHAT OF A FLOP.
BUT THAT MAKES IT GOOD FOR COLLECTORS,
'CAUSE THEY DIDN'T MAKE A LOT OF NUMBERS.
- SO DID BENJAMIN FRANKLIN MAKE IT?
- NO, ACTUALLY, HE WAS ALREADY DEAD.
- OH.
- WEE BIT PAST HIS TIME.
- YEAH. [laughter]
- TAKE A LOOK WITH ME, SEE IF WE CAN FIGURE OUT
IF ALL THE PARTS ARE HERE.
- YOUR CARRIER IS OUT OF POSITION.
IT'S BEEN JARRED, OR KNOCKED, OR DROPPED, OR SOMETHING.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
[rattling] - IT'S--[laughs].
- THAT CAN BE FIXED.
- ALL RIGHT.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IT'S WORTH AS-IS?
- IT'S GONNA BE...
$1,000.
- GOOD TO MEET YOU.
SPY STUFF? WHATEVER.
THIS THING'S MUCH MORE COOL.
- BUBBA AND I FOUND SOME BRANDING IRONS
AND A BULL SEMEN CARRIER.
SO I'M AT MY FRIEND'S VET CLINIC,
RIGHT HERE IN GOOD OLD YAYLOOVILLE, LAMPASAS,
TO GET 'EM CHECKED OUT.
- VERY NICE.
SO WHAT YOU'VE GOT HERE
ARE SOME ELECTRICAL BRANDING IRONS.
- WHAT KIND OF ANIMALS ARE YOU BRANDING WITH THESE?
- MOSTLY YOU'RE GONNA BE DOING CATTLE.
- YEAH, YOU CAN GET PRETTY CREATIVE.
- OKAY.
- I NEED A "R," FOR "RICKY."
WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN TODAY, RICKY.
[laughter] - NO.
- NO? - LET'S DON'T DO THAT.
WHAT KIND OF DOLLAR AMOUNT
ARE WE LOOKING FOR THE WHOLE LOT?
- FOR ALL OF 'EM TOGETHER?
- YEAH. - YES.
- I WOULD SAY, UH...
$550.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT. - MORE THAN I THOUGHT.
- NOW, I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU HERE.
- OH, YEAH. - OH.
WE CALL 'EM "MUSHROOM SHIPPERS," JUST BECAUSE OF THE SHAPE.
- WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SHIPPING...
- SEMEN. - SO WERE THEY JUST TRYING
TO BE FUNNY WHEN THEY SHAPED IT
AND CALLED IT THE MUSHROOM SHIPPER?
[laughter]
HMM.
- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. [laughs]
- WHAT? EVERYONE WAS THINKING IT.
RIGHT?
IS IT, LIKE, A LOT OF BULLS, OR ONE BULL?
- NO, IT--THEY HAVE STRAWS, OR AMPULES, AND THERE CAN BE
AS MANY AS 250 STRAWS IN THERE.
- OH, OKAY.
IT'S NOT JUST "OPEN THIS UP AND FILL IT UP."
- ON THE INSIDE, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE
A LITTLE BIT OF FOAM IN THERE
TO KEEP IT INSULATED, AND THEN INSIDE THAT
IS GONNA BE THE TANK. THAT'S WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IF IT'S IN THERE.
- ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT THE FOAM IN THERE, BUT NO TANK.
BETTER THAN NOTHING. - WELL, WHAT'S THIS WORTH?
- I THINK YOU COULD EASILY GET...
250.
- WE CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK. - YOU BET.
- THE SPERM BANK.
- GOD. [laughter]
narrator: THE RUNAWAY WINNERS IN PONDER WERE RICKY AND BUBBA,
WHO CAME OUT 10 GRAND AHEAD WITH THEIR TWO BIG UNITS
AND SEMEN SHIPPER.
MARY AND MOE SCORED EIGHT BENJAMINS
WITH THEIR ANTIQUE TYPEWRITER.
VICTOR RJESNJANSKY RODE OFF
WITH 120 BUCKS FROM MOTORCYCLE PARTS.
BUT JENNY GRUMBLES STRUCK OUT,
AND LEFT NO FONDER OF PONDER.
- I'M THINKING WE JUST HIT THE MOTHER LODE RIGHT HERE.
- THAT'S A MOTHER LODE OF A BUNCH OF CLOTHES.
- PORCELAIN DOLLS. OH, SHE IS SAD.
[laughs] HOW SAD COULD A DOLL LOOK?
- ABOUT THAT SAD. [laughter]
THAT'S AN UGLY BABY RIGHT THERE.
- THAT IS ONE SAD-- - WHOO!
- SHE'S--SHE'S PISSED.
- SHE'D SCARE THE BUZZARDS OFF A GUT WAGON.