male narrator: WHEN STORAGE UNITS ARE ABANDONED...
IN THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS,
THE TREASURES WITHIN...
- THAT'S THE PRIZE. - 700.
narrator: ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION.
- YEAH. - YEAH.
- RIGHT HERE. - YEAH!
narrator: COMING UP...
- YOU GOT SOME COMPETITION HERE, GIRLIE.
- WAIT A SECOND.
SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING AFTER OLD FURNITURE?
[auctioneering]
- WHO WAS THIS GUY? LIKE, JAMES BOND?
MY SIXTH SENSE TELLS ME
THERE COULD BE A LOT OF VALUABLE STUFF IN THERE.
HOLY CRAP!
- WHAT?
- IT LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND--
HELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WE FOUND.
[country rock music]
- YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET.
THAT'S WHY WE DO THIS, BUB.
- BREAK OUT ANOTHER 1,000.
- I CAN TURN THIS STUFF FROM CRAP TO CUTE.
- I SEE TREASURES.
- IT'S FABULOUS!
♪ ♪
all: OH!
- YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT WE FIND.
- YOU READY TO GO? - YEAH!
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪
- HEY!
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ♪
♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪ - RIGHT HERE!
♪ ♪
- AND IT'S SOLD!
- TODAY, WE'RE HEADING OVER TO IRVING, TEXAS.
NOW, IRVING IS A MAJOR TRANSPORTATION HUB
OF THE DFW AREA,
AND WITH ALL THESE FOLKS A'COMIN' AND A'GOIN',
YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TON OF NEW FACES AT THE AUCTION TODAY.
- YOU KNOW THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE FULL OF NEWBIES,
FULL OF TOURISTS, DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE DOING.
- YEAH.
- LIKE A BUNCH OF VIRGINS AT A POKER TABLE.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY BUBBA'S SO IRATE ABOUT ALL THE NEWBIES.
THEY'RE NOT HURTING ANYBODY,
AND I KIND OF THINK THEY'RE ADORABLE.
- I'M GONNA SIC YOU ON 'EM IF I SEE A BUNCH OF TOURISTS.
- OKAY.
- WELL, TODAY I'M JUST GONNA STUDY MY COMPETITION.
I'M GOING TO LOOK AT THESE ROOMS
AND FEEL THE FEEDBACK FROM 'EM,
KIND OF LIKE THE MENTALIST.
TODAY, I'M GOING FOR A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT APPROACH.
I'M ONLY BIDDING ON THE UNITS
I SENSE HOLD THE REAL TREASURES.
ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE WE SIGNING IN AT?
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. - BOOM.
- HEY. - HOW ARE YA?
- GOOD.
- HOW MANY AUCTIONS HAVE YOU BEEN TO?
- THIS'LL BE MY SECOND. - SECOND. OH.
- YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, I LEARNED SO MUCH THE FIRST TIME,
I'M A PRO NOW.
- GREAT.
- I'M NOT SCARED OF THE COMPETITION
'CAUSE I DO SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN THEY DO.
THEY SELL FURNITURE, BUT I REFURBISH FURNITURE,
SO I THINK IT REALLY GIVES ME AN EDGE.
- YOU GOT SOME COMPETITION HERE, GIRLIE.
IT'S KIND OF STRANGE, SEEING MARY HERE BY HERSELF.
SHE'S USUALLY HERE WITH DR. MOE.
- THAT'S A HUTCH BACK THERE. - YEAH.
- YOU COULD DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HUTCH, DON'T YOU THINK?
- YEAH, WITH THAT AND THE DESK.
- YOU RECOGNIZE HER?
SHE DOES THE SAME THING YOU DO.
- I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS TODAY BECAUSE I'M FLYING SOLO.
MY PLAN IS TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE
AND FIND A UNIT WITH FURNITURE IN IT
THAT I CAN FIX UP.
- WAIT A SECOND.
SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING AFTER OLD FURNITURE?
- ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
HERE ARE THE RULES FOR TODAY'S AUCTION.
FIRST THING WE'RE GONNA DO, WE'RE GONNA OPEN THE DOOR.
YOU'LL HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO LOOK AROUND.
THERE'LL BE NO STEPPING INSIDE, NO KICKING THE BOXES,
NO REACHING INSIDE.
PLEASE BID ONLY WITH THE MONEY YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKETS.
ARE YOU READY TO GO? all: WHOO!
- HAMMER UP, LET'S GO!
[all exclaim]
- I'M READING THE BOXES.
THEY LOOK PROFESSIONALLY PACKED.
AND I SEE YAMAHA.
THAT'S HIGH-END STEREO EQUIPMENT.
YOU KNOW, I KNOW PEOPLE.
THEY HAD A VERY CLEAN CAR, NICELY WAXED.
- THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD TOOLS IN HERE.
THAT'S JUST FULL OF TOOLS.
CLEAN TOTES. I LIKE THAT TOO.
- I'M ALL IN. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET IN.
- THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER. - [laughs]
- THERE ARE SOME BOXES BACK THERE,
BOARD GAMES, SHEETS.
PROBABLY NOT FOR ME. I THINK I'M GONNA WAIT.
I THINK THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE
PROBABLY GONNA BE WANTING THIS
'CAUSE OF THE TOOLS.
BUYING THE VERY FIRST LOCKER THAT I SEE AT THIS AUCTION
WOULD BE A ROOKIE MISTAKE, RIGHT?
- I'M NOT SEEING WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
THIS IS, LIKE, REALLY QUALITY GARAGE STUFF,
BUT I WANT THINGS FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.
- ALL RIGHT, SELL MY LITTLE TOOL LOCKER HERE.
[auctioneering] LET'S HEAR IT.
- 300. - 300. MORE THAN I HAD.
- 500. - 500.
NOW 600, WHO'LL DO$600? NOW 700, 700 THERE.
NOW 800. 800 THERE.
NOW 900. [auctioneering]
- 1,000. - $,000.
NOW 1,100. 1,100. NOW, 1,100, 1,200.
AND 1,300, 1,300, SIR. - 1,300 RIGHT HERE.
- 1,300 IN THE BACK. 1,300, NOW 1,400.
- HOW ABOUT A HALF? - 1,350, NOW 1,400.
- RIGHT HERE. - 1,400 NOW.
1,500, BID OF 1,500. NOW 1,600.
- RIGHT HERE.
- VIC'S ACTING ALL KINDS OF COCKY TODAY.
- RIGHT HERE.
- MAYBE IT'S TIME TO TEACH HIM A LESSON.
- YEAH. - RIGHT HERE.
- 2,000, NOW 2,100. - YEAH.
- 2,100, AND 2,000. - RIGHT HERE.
- NOW 2,200. NOW 2,300. [auctioneering]
- WHAT DO YOU THINK? - I THINK, STICK IT IN HIS ASS.
- $2,300. - YEAH.
- RIGHT HERE. - NOW 2,400, AND 2,500.
- YEAH. - RIGHT HERE.
- HEY, MAN.
- LET HIM HAVE THE $1,200 IN TOOLS.
- LAST BID, LAST CALL.
I SOLD IT RIGHT THERE FOR $2,600.
- RICKY AND BUBBA THINK THEY PULLED A FAST ONE ON ME.
MY SIXTH SENSE TELLS ME
THERE'S MORE THAN JUST TOOLS IN THIS UNIT.
- OH!
- THAT TABLE LOOKS FANTASTIC, AND THESE POTS,
THIS BIG VASE.
THIS IS A GOOD UNIT.
THERE'S A TON OF RAW MATERIALS IN THERE.
I WANT IN ON THIS UNIT,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA SPEND, LIKE, $100 MILLION.
- SOME NICE ARTWORK. A NICE MIRROR HERE.
AND I EVEN SEE SOME CURVED WOOD
THAT REMINDS ME OF SOME '60s FURNITURE.
YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF NICE STUFF.
USUALLY A FAKE PLANT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN,
BUT THIS COULD BE SOMEBODY'S HOME OFFICE.
THERE COULD BE A LOT OF VALUABLE STUFF IN THERE.
- I LIKE THAT THEY CARED ENOUGH TO COVER THAT.
- I DO TOO.
- THE COUCH IS PRETTY NICE TOO.
- I LIKE IT. WE'LL BID ON THIS ONE.
- YEAH, IT'S A GOOD UNIT.
- THIS IS THE FIRST ONE I'VE SEEN ALL DAY
WHERE SOMEONE ACTUALLY HAS KIND OF GOOD TASTE.
THE RATTAN BASKET TELLS ME THEY, LIKE,
USED THAT KIND OF STUFF FOR STORAGE.
I WANT IT.
- EVERYBODY HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK?
LET'S SELL THIS ONE.
100, NOW 200. [auctioneering]
200. 200 THERE, NOW 300. [auctioneering]
AH, 250. NOW 300. NOW 300 THERE.
NOW 400. [auctioneering]
- 400. - 400. LOOKING FOR 400 THERE.
NOW 500. [auctioneering]
NOW 600. I HAVE 600 HERE.
NOW 700. [auctioneering]
LOOKING FOR 700. 700 THERE. NOW 800.
[auctioneering] 800 THERE.
NOW 900. [auctioneering]
- YEAH! - 900 THERE. NOW 1,000.
- WHO'S BIDDING? - THE MAN WITH CASH.
- PERFECT. TIME FOR SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED PAYBACK.
- 1,000. - RIGHT HERE.
- 1,000, NOW 1,100. [auctioneering]
- YES. - I HAVE 1,100. NOW 1,200.
- RIGHT HERE. - 1,200, 1,300. 1,300.
- YEAH. - 1,300.
- RIGHT HERE. - 1,300, 1,400.
NOW 1,500. 1,500 RIGHT THERE.
NOW 1,600, NOW 1,600. - YEAH.
- RIGHT THERE. 1,600. NOW 1,700.
1,700, WILL YOU BID 1,700? WILL YOU BID 1,700?
- NO. - 1,700, LAST CALL.
I SOLD IT. 1,600 RIGHT THERE. 1,600.
THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[applause]
- AH, THEY SPENT AN EXTRA $600, $700.
IT'S ALL HOUSEHOLD STUFF.
THEY'LL BE LUCKY IF THEY BREAK EVEN.
I TALKED THAT ONE UP REAL GOOD.
- I'M REAL ANXIOUS TO SEE
IF THIS UNIT'S WORTH WHAT WE PAID FOR IT,
SO WE'RE GONNA GET RIGHT TO WORK.
- I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD UNIT, BUBBA.
- OH, YEAH, IT'S PRETTY DEEP.
- I MEAN, THEY CARED ENOUGH TO WRAP UP STUFF.
GOOD SHAPE.
- THERE'S PROBABLY $25 IN THIS. - YEAH.
- ANOTHER 20 BUCKS FOR THAT BIG PILE RIGHT THERE.
- THERE A NICE HOME INTERIOR MIRROR.
THAT'S 35, 40 BUCKS. - OH, EASY.
- ROOM DIVIDER, 40 BUCKS. - YEAH.
- WE'RE FINDING SOME DECENT STUFF IN THIS UNIT,
BUT NO BIG TICKET ITEMS.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO NICKEL AND DIME OUR WAY,
JUST TO BREAK EVEN.
I GOT SOMETHING RIGHT HERE.
- THAT IS AN AUSTIN NUMBER ONE SELLER RIGHT THERE.
- OH, YEAH.
- THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKING GUY RIGHT THERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT'S WORTH? $200, $300?
- I WAS GONNA SAY $300. - YEAH.
THIS BUFFET IS A GOOD FIND,
BUT WE HAVEN'T MADE UP HALF OF WHAT WE PAID FOR THIS UNIT.
- WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?
- "GENITAL URINARY ORGANS." WHAT?
- WHAT IN THE HECK IS THAT?
- OH, THIS IS THE FEMALE. - ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S NIGHTMARE POSTERS. - YOU RECKON I GOT THE MALE?
- WHAT DO YA GOT? - I DON'T KNOW.
IT SAYS "FEMALE."
THAT DON'T LOOK TOO FEMALE TO ME.
IT LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND--HELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WE FOUND.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
THAT'S DEFINITELY HEALTH CLASS.
IT'S LIKE BACK WHEN YOU WENT TO SCHOOL.
"RICKY, COULD YOU POINT OUT THE RECTUM ON THE CHART?"
- THIS IS A BIG DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
THIS COULD BE WORTH SOME MONEY, BUBBA,
TO THE RIGHT COLLECTOR.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
WHO COLLECTS PICTURES OF RTUMS, BUT--
- I'M WILLING TO BET
THAT SOME HUMAN CENTIPEDE-LOVING SERIAL KILLER
WOULD CONSIDER THIS ART.
I GOTTA FIND SOMEBODY TO TELL ME
IF WE CAN CASH IN ON THESE THINGS.
[saw buzzing]
- WHOA!
- TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT OFFICE CHAIR.
- YOU KNOW, IT'S A GOOD THING
THESE UNITS HERE DON'T HAVE LIGHTS ON INSIDE,
'CAUSE WE'D REALLY SEE WHAT A PIG THIS ONE IS.
MY INSTINCTS ARE TELLING ME
STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS LOCKER AS POSSIBLE.
THAT'S FOR THESE GUYS RIGHT HERE.
- WHAT DO WE GOT? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
- THAT LOOKS LIKE A NATIVITY SCENE OR--
- THAT'S A HEADBOARD, FOOTBOARD.
- THIS UNIT LOOKED LIKE
IT JUST WENT THROUGH THE DIGESTIVE TRACT,
AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I JUST FOUND THE POSTERS.
- I'M SEEING A HEADBOARD. THERE'S A MIRROR.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER PIECE I COULD DO SOMETHING WITH.
I'M GONNA TAKE ALL THIS STUFF, FIX IT UP,
AND MAKE IT AWESOME.
EVERYONE ELSE PROBABLY SEES JUNK IN THIS UNIT,
BUT I SEE TREASURES.
- [auctioneering] NOW $10, $10.
NOW $20, NOW $20, NOW $20. - YEP.
- I HAVE $30 UP FRONT. $30. NOW $40, $40.
NOW $50, NOW $50, NOW $50. $50, NOW $60.
- THAT MARY CHICK'S BIDDING.
DID I MISS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS LOCKER?
- OKAY, NOW $70. NOW $70. $70. WILL YOU GIVE $80?
THANK YOU. $80. BID OF $80, $80, $80.
NOW $90. THANK YOU. $90. NOW $100.
$100, NOW $100, BID OF $100. $100.
$100. NOW 10, 10, 10. - SHE CAN HAVE IT.
- LAST CALL. WILL YOU GIVE $110, 10, 10?
WILL YOU GIVE $110? I SOLD IT RIGHT HERE, $100.
$100. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- MARY, DID YOU BUY THAT? - YEP.
- OKAY. - [laughs] OKAY.
- I DON'T THINK I BID ENOUGH.
I SHOULD HAVE HELD OUT.
I SHOULD HAVE JUST THROWN DOWN THE COUCH.
LITTLE MARY CAN TAKE THAT ONE,
'CAUSE SHE'S NOT EVEN FIVE FEET.
SHE HAS SEX HAIR. SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MAKEUP ON.
LIKE, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
- OKAY.
I MEAN, THEY CAN HATE ON THIS UNIT ALL THEY WANT.
THIS IS TOTALLY THEIR LOSS.
I KNOW FOR SURE
I CAN DO SOMETHING WITH THIS HEADBOARD OVER HERE,
SO THIS IS A GOOD STARTING POINT AT LEAST,
AND IT'S A GOOD COLOR.
BASIC, SO I DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH STRIPPING OF THE PAINT.
THESE I THINK WOULD FIT ME ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY.
[laughs]
ALL THE RAW MATERIALS IN HERE
GOT ME GOING CRAZY.
GOOD WAY CRAZY.
THIS MIRROR OVER HERE,
ALL I NEED TO DO TO THIS IS JUST TAKE THE STICKERS OFF,
PAINT THE WOOD, AND THEN SELL IT IN THE SHOP AS IT IS.
I GOT HERE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK I WAS DOING,
BUT I WALKED AWAY WITH A UNIT.
SO, MAYBE FLYING SOLO ISN'T SO BAD.
- I'M BACK AT THE TOOL LOCKER
THAT RICKY AND BUBBA THINK THEY DROPPED ON ME.
WELL, HERE SHE IS.
I SHELLED OUT ABOUT THREE GRAND ON THIS UNIT,
SO I'M REALLY HOPING MY INSTINCTS PAY OFF.
WELL, THIS IS WHAT GOT ME INTO THE LOCKER--
THE TOOL BIN FULL OF TOOLS,
AND THESE AREN'T CHEAP TOOLS.
WHAT I CAN TELL ABOUT THIS GUY RIGHT AWAY,
HE DID TAKE CARE OF HIS TOOLS.
I BARELY, BARELY TAPPED INTO THIS LOCKER.
EASILY, THIS BOX IS $1,500, UPWARDS MORE OF THAT.
EXPENSIVE TOOLS TELL ME THIS GUY MADE A LOT OF EXTRA MONEY.
I'M WILLING TO BET THAT THE REST OF THIS STUFF IS TOP-NOTCH.
LET'S TAKE THIS ONE DOWN.
YAMAHA IS A VERY HIGH-END STEREO SYSTEM.
IF THE HEAD UNIT IS IN THERE,
WE'RE PROBABLY LOOKING
AT ABOUT A $400 TO $500 RESALE ON IT, AT LEAST.
ALL RIGHT, ANOTHER HEAVY ONE.
IT'S BOOKS.
OOH, IT'S SOME SPORTING GOODS.
HUH.
I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE FOR YEARS.
THAT'S FUN.
SOME, UH, NUM--NUN--"NUMCHUCKS"?
"NUMCHUCKS." NUMB--NUMB YOUR ASS UP.
I REMEMBER DOING THIS WHEN-- WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.
THAT'S COOL STUFF.
OBVIOUSLY HE WAS A NINJA. THERE'S HIS WHITE BELT.
NICE LITTLE HUNTING KNIFE.
IT'S NOT A BAD LITTLE BOX.
PROBABLY, ALL IN ALL, 10 BUCKS FOR THE "NUMCHUCKS,"
20 BUCKS FOR THE KNIFE.
[sighs] 60 BUCKS ALTOGETHER, MAYBE $70.
SPORTING EQUIPMENT IS A GREAT SIGN
THIS GUY HAD SOME DISPOSABLE INCOME.
I'M NOT GONNA GET INTO ALL OF THOSE BOXES,
BUT THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING.
OH, WOW.
WOW, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS--WHAT THIS IS.
AW, I-I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
THIS IS AN OLD SWIMMING ASSISTANT.
I'VE SEEN THE ONES IN MOVIES THAT YOU TAKE UNDER THE WATER,
THEY'RE BATTERY POWERED.
THIS ONE'S GAS POWERED.
THIS WOULD BE, LIKE, ONE OF THE TUBES NOW
THAT YOU PULL BEHIND THE BOATS,
BUT THIS THING'S GOT ITS OWN POWER ON IT.
[imitates engine running]
WHO WAS THIS GUY? LIKE, JAMES BOND?
THERE WE GO.
IT'S GOT A LITTLE ONE-CYLINDER ENGINE IN HERE.
WOW, THIS IS COOL STUFF.
THIS PIECE IS SO UNIQUE,
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S WORTH.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE IT TO AN EXPERT.
- I SURE HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
- YEAH, I DO TOO.
- BUBBA AND I ARE HEADED TO BEAUX ARTS
TO SEE BOB [bleep], OR SCHULTZ OR SCHOTZ.
- THIS IS IT.
- SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I GOT THE DIGESTIVE TRACT ON MY MIND.
- LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE TODAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
I THINK WE FOUND SOMETHING PRETTY GOOD.
I'M NOT SURE.
HOPEFULLY SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE VALUE.
- MAKE SURE THERE'S NOT ANY CHILDREN AROUND
WHEN WE ROLL THIS ONE OUT.
- OH, MY.
- THERE WE ARE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- OKAY, VERY INTERESTING.
THAT'S A FROHSE ANATOMICAL CHART.
IT LOOKS TO BE IN VERY GOOD CONDITION.
BEAUTIFUL COLOR.
- LOOKING AT THIS,
IS SOMEONE GONNA BUY THIS TO HANG UP, FOR ART?
- YOU'D BE SURPRISED.
- ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS ONE'S WORTH?
- UH, CONSIDERING ITS AGE AND ITS CONDITION,
I'D SAY THE UPPER RANGE WOULD BE $300 TO $400.
- OKAY. - OKAY.
- I THINK THIS ONE'S GONNA BE OUR BEST ONE.
- THIS IS ALREADY LOOKING MORE INTERESTING HERE.
THIS IS FASCINATING.
IT LOOKS TO BE IN VERY GOOD CONDITION.
THIS HAS GOT A HAND ELEMENT TO IT.
I THINK IT WAS SCREEN PRINTED,
WHAT ART PEOPLE CALL A SERIGRAPH.
AS A VINTAGE, ROLLED PRINT,
THIS ONE WOULD BE RATED PROBABLY "A" TO "A"-PLUS, TOP.
- WOW, THAT'S GOOD.
WHAT KIND OF VALUE WOULD YOU PUT ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
- OUR CUSTOMERS LOVE CURIOSITIES LIKE THIS.
- YES.
- AND I THINK YOU WOULD FIND THAT PERSON
THAT COULD GIVE UP TO $600 TO $800 FOR IT.
- WE'RE CLIMBING UP. - I TOLD YOU.
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT A PICTURE OF A RECTUM
WOULD BE WORTH $800?
- WELL, IT'S ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT GO WITH IT.
YOU GET A RECTUM, BUT YOU GET SO MUCH MORE.
- [laughs] - EVERYBODY'S GOT ONE.
THESE MEDICAL POSTERS SHOW MORE ABOUT THE HUMAN ANATOMY
THAN I THINK A CHRISTIAN MAN OUGHT TO KNOW,
BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE I CAN STILL SEE THE DOLLAR SIGNS.
ALL RIGHT, CLASS DISMISSED.
- I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD ALL WEEK
ON THE ITEMS I FOUND IN MY LOCKER.
SO, YOU'RE MY ASSISTANT TODAY, BLOM,
AND YOU GOTTA TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION
ABOUT ALL THIS STUFF THAT I DID, 'KAY?
- YEAH.
- SO I CALLED MY HOOLIGAN LITTLE BROTHER
TO CHECK OUT THE FINISHED PIECES
AND TO HELP ME PRICE THEM.
MY LITTLE BROTHER'S NICKNAME IS "BLOM."
B-L-O-M, BLOM.
I KNOW IT'S WEIRD, BUT MM-HMM, IT'S BLOM.
[laughs]
LOOK, YOU KNOW WOODS. LOOK HOW TERRIBLE.
A FREAKIN' PIECE OF CRAP. - I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS, MARY?
YOU JUST STICKING STUFF ON THERE?
- BLOM, THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL, FLUFFY CLOUD.
[laughter]
- COMPARED TO THE STUFF THAT YOU'VE MADE,
THIS LOOKS HORRIBLE.
- SOMETIMES THESE EXPERIMENTS, THEY WORK OUT GREAT,
AND THEN OTHER TIMES, NOT SO MUCH,
BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M JUST WINGING IT.
- YOU COULD TRY TO FIX IT UP. - NO, LEAVE IT OUTSIDE, FREE.
[laughter]
YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT ELSE I DID?
- YEAH.
- THERE WAS A HUGE BAG OF CRAPPY,
DISGUSTING OLD JEANS THAT STANK.
I WASHED THEM AND I TOOK THE SEAMS OUT
AND I PUT 'EM ON HERE.
- [laughs]
- LOOKS COOL, RIGHT?
- NO, NO. I'M NOT GONNA LIE.
- IT'S NOT MY FAVORITE PIECE, BUT--
- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, PRICE TAG?
- 75 BUCKS.
- SOMEONE'LL LIKE IT. - LET'S HOPE, BLOM.
GOTTA PAY MY RENT.
I MEAN, BLOM MAY NOT LIKE IT,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GONNA WANT A MIRROR COVERED IN JEANS, RIGHT?
OKAY, SO THIS IS MY FAVORITE.
TRY TO GUESS, BLOM, WHAT THIS IS.
'CAUSE YOU KNOW I MAKE STUFF OUT OF--
- [laughs] - WHATEVER, ANYTHING.
- UM...
I HAVE NO IDEA.
- IT'S THE FOOTBOARD TO THIS HEADBOARD.
- NO WAY.
- I FOUND THIS PAPER IN ONE OF THE UNITS,
AND I MADE COPIES OF 'EM.
IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO CUT 'EM ALL, MEASURE 'EM,
AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY ALL LINED UP.
IT'S COOL, RIGHT? - YEAH.
- I'M THINKING $325 FOR THIS.
- EASY.
- I WALKED AWAY FROM THIS AUCTION
WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF MONEY.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO THE NEXT ONE.
WHEN IS IT? [laughs]
- I FOUND THIS REALLY COOL JET SKI THING IN MY LOCKER,
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW OLD IT IS
OR WHAT IT'S WORTH.
- HEY, VIC. - WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?
- HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY? - GOOD, GOOD.
MY BUDDY BRIAN HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE AROUND THIS STUFF.
IF THERE'S ANYBODY THAT CAN APPRAISE IT, IT'S HIM.
- IS THAT WHAT YOU BROUGHT ME? - OH, YEAH.
- LET'S GET UP AND TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK? - WOW.
- THERE WE GO. CHECK THAT OUT.
- BASICALLY, I'VE ONLY SEEN THIS, MAYBE,
IN A JAMES BOND MOVIE.
MIVAL ACTUALLY MANUFACTURED ITALIAN MOTORCYCLES
BACK IN THE LATE '60s.
THIS ACTUALLY, PROBABLY WOULD BE
THE GRANDFATHER OF JET SKIS.
THIS IS MORE OF AN AMPHIBIAN DEVICE
THAT WOULD TAKE YOU EITHER OUT,
EITHER SCUBA DIVING OR SNORKELING.
IT'S A VERY RARE THING THAT YOU HAVE HERE.
- SO FAR, IT'S BEEN GOOD NEWS.
I'M JUST HOPING THIS ENGINE TURNS OVER.
[cranking]
- LOOKS LIKE WE STILL NEED A--
- COULD MY MENTALIST SKILLS BE FAILING ME NOW?
- HERE WE GO.
[engine purring]
- HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK IT'S WORTH?
- WITH THIS BEING MORE OF A COLLECTOR'S ITEM...
- UH-HUH.
- YOU COULD PROBABLY GET CLOSE TO $8,000.
- WOW, MAN, THAT IS GOOD. THAT IS SWEET.
THIS GIFT I HAVE, THIS POWER,
MAYBE I SHOULD USE IT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.
- [laughs] - LET'S DO IT.
NAH. I'LL JUST KEEP CLEANING UP AT STORAGE AUCTIONS.
narrator: THE IRVING CHAMPION WAS VICTOR RJESNJANSKY,
WHO MOTORED HIS WAY TO A $7,500 PROFIT.
RICKY AND BUBBA DIGESTED $335 WITH THEIR ANATOMY POSTERS.
MARY COBBLED TOGETHER A $300 PROFIT
FROM HER OLD DENIM AND BED FRAMES,
WHILE JENNY GRUMBLES THREW DOWN THE GAUNTLET
AGAINST HER NEW COMPETITION, BUT LEFT EMPTY-HANDED.
- WHEN DO Y'ALL START KICKING IN THE TALK ABOUT BALLS?
YOU VEN'T GOT TO THE BALL PART.
- BALLS? WHAT KIND OF BALLS? THESE KIND OF BALLS?
- YEAH.
- WE CAN TALK BALLS, BOB.
HOW MANY BALLS WE GOT ON HERE?
TWO, FOUR, SIX.
AND IF THAT'S A BOY, IT MAKES EIGHT BALLS.
- OKAY.
- THESE COULD BE TWO MORE HERE.
THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT DEVELOPED YET, THOUGH.
- VERY INTERESTING. - EIGHT BALLS AND TWO MARBLES.
- AND A COUPLE OF NUT SACKS. OKAY.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, BOB. THERE'S A LOT OF BALLS ON HERE.
- YEAH, THE PRICE IS GOING UP.
- BOB LIKED TO TALK ABOUT BALLS, THOUGH, DIDN'T HE?
- HE'S A BALL TALKIN' DUDE.