male narrator: WHEN STORAGE UNITS ARE ABANDONED...
[gunshots, ricochets]
IN THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS... [whip cracks]
THE TREASURES WITHIN...
- THAT'S THE PRIZE.
- narrator: ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION.
- YEAH! - YEAH!
- RIGHT HERE! - YEAH!
- narrator: COMING UP...
- MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT THERE'S A UNIT
THAT HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN TWO YEARS.
HEY, HEY, HEY!
- I BROUGHT A SECRET WEAPON TODAY.
OH, MY GOSH.
- LOOK AT ME, VICTOR, I'M [bleep] SERIOUS AS [bleep].
- I DON'T GIVE A [bleep]. - THIS IS GONNA GET UGLY.
- GET OUTTA MY FACE.
[country rock music] ♪ ♪
- THAT'S THE GRAVY TRAIN, RIGHT THERE.
- YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT WE FIND.
- JERRY! MY STORE IS ON THE LINE HERE.
- THIS IS ALL PROFIT. IT'S FABULOUS!
♪ ♪
- ♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
♪ MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN ♪
♪ ♪
- AND IT'S SOLD!
- TODAY WE'RE IN IRVING, TEXAS.
- IT'S A MIDDLE-CLASS AREA, WEST OF DALLAS.
- THE LOCKERS DON'T OFTEN LOOK LIKE MUCH FROM THE DOOR...
- BUT YOU TEND TO SEE A LOT OF FAMILY HEIRLOOMS.
- WHOO. IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD DAY TODAY.
I'M HERE TO RATTLE SOME CAGES.
THEY'LL SEE ME BIDDING NO MATTER WHAT.
- NEED A PERMIT TO PARK LIKE THAT.
I'D TOW IT. [chuckles]
- REMEMBER THAT NEW GAME PLAN THAT WE HAVE GOING ON, RIGHT?
- RIGHT. - YOU'RE BIDDING.
EVERY TIME I TRY TO BID, VICTOR'S ALWAYS BIDDING ME UP.
AND I'LL KEEP NUDGING YOU WHEN I WANT YOU TO GO HIGHER OR LOWER.
BUT IF JERRY BIDS, WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO SNEAK SOMETHING BY.
- YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE THIS AIN'T GONNA WORK.
- DON'T SPEND ALL MY MONEY, MAN.
- I'LL TRY NOT TO.
- I WONDER HOW MANY UNITS THEY GOT.
- WELL, WE GOT 10 UNITS.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? - I HAVE MY SOURCES.
THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I GET
TO AN AUCTION IN THE MORNING-- I RECON THE CROWD.
I GET ME SOME INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.
IT IS INVALUABLE TO HAVE THAT ON YOUR SIDE.
- THANK YOU, MOE. - HE'S SUCH A GENTLEMAN.
- BRING YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER TODAY, MOE?
- I BROUGHT A SECRET WEAPON WITH ME TODAY.
MARY. SHE'S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL AN UPCYCLER.
- I SPLIT THE TIRE IN HALF... - RIGHT.
- AND I PUT A MIRROR IN THE MIDDLE.
IT'S PRETTY COOL, HUH? - MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT IT WAS.
WHERE MOST PEOPLE SEE JUNK, SHE SEES OPPORTUNITY.
- OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS,
HERE ARE THE RULES FOR TODAY'S AUCTION.
WE'RE GONNA OPEN THE DOORS.
YOU'LL HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO LOOK AROUND.
TODAY'S AUCTION IS A CASH-ONLY AUCTION.
IS EVERYBODY READY TO GO?
all: YEAH!
- HAMMER UP, LET'S GO!
- WHOO!
- OH... - WHOA.
- MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT THERE'S AN INDOOR UNIT
THAT HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN TWO YEARS.
- SOME--ONE, TWO BOOKSHELVES.
- AN ANTIQUE--MIGHT'VE BEEN A GRANDMOTHER'S DEAL.
I DON'T KNOW. THIS IS THE PERFECT
KIND OF LOCKER TO FIND A GREAT HEIRLOOM IN.
- OKAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
- THERE'S A FEW PIECES OF FURNITURE.
- THAT'S A HUTCH BACK THERE. - YEAH.
- WE COULD DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HUTCH, DON'T YOU THINK?
- YEAH, THAT AND THE DESK.
- MARY'S EXCITED ABOUT THAT HUTCH; I'LL BE BIDDING.
- WELL, LET ME SEE. A COUPLE ANTIQUES IN HERE.
I THINK MOE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THIS UNIT.
BUT I'LL BID HIM UP ON IT, THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE.
- OOH, I LIKE THIS LOCKER, JERRY.
MEN'S CLOTHES. I LIKE THE VARIETY IN HERE,
AND I REALLY LIKE THE ANTIQUE TABLES.
I WANT YOU TO BID ON THIS ONE, OKAY?
I'M NERVOUS.
- DON'T MAKE A BIG ISSUE OUT OF IT.
- 500. DON'T GO PAST 5.
- STOP EXPLAINING IT TO ME. CAN YOU SAY, "CONTROL FREAK"?
- WHAT'M I BID HERE? NOW, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
WHAT'RE YOU THINKING? - 50!
- 50, NOW 100 THERE.
- 150, RIGHT HERE. - 150, NOW 75--
- 175! - 225. RIGHT HERE!
- 250! - 250, NOW 75--
- 275, RIGHT HERE! - NOW 300!
- BRING IT! - 300.
JERRY'S OUTBIDDING YOU! - 325 RIGHT HERE.
- BRING IT. - 50, NOW $375.
- 375. - GOT 375, AND 400.
- BRING IT. - 425. RIGHT HERE.
- BRING IT. - 475.
- YEP! WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
- GOT 500-- - BRING IT!
- 525. - YAH!
- NOW 550. ABLE TO BID AT 550.
WOULD YOU BID 550. 550 ONCE, 550 TWICE...
I'VE SOLD IT. RICKY, $525.
- THIS LOCKER IS CLEAN. I THINK MY SOURCES ARE RIGHT.
I CAN'T WAIT TO DIVE IN THERE.
- EASY MONEY.
- YAH-HOO!
all: OOH!
- I GOT ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR POSTS.
IT'S ACTUALLY TWO SETS. THERE'S TWO POSTER BEDS.
- I HAVE A WHOLE NETWORK OF CUSTOMERS
LOOKING FOR FURNITURE LIKE THIS.
- GOT A DRESSER, WHICH IS OKAY, REFRIGERATOR, WHICH IS NICE.
OH, BABY STUFF ALL BACK THERE--WALKERS,
ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF BACK THERE.
- THE UNIT IS NICE. BUT LESA'S BLABBING HER MOUTH,
TELLING EVERYBODY WHAT'S IN THERE.
- MM, YEAH...THE FURNITURE'S MADE OF QUALITY MATERIAL,
BUT JUST THE DESIGN IS BAD.
- I WAS DRAWN BY THE MATTRESSES BECAUSE THEY'RE COVERED,
BUT AFTER I SAW THE NAME ON IT SAYS, "COLORFUL DREAM."
THAT'S A LITTLE SCARY, I'LL TELL YA THAT.
OH, THERE'S A LOT THERE.
THERE'S PLENTY OF RAW MATERIALS IN HERE FOR MARY TO WORK ON.
- SOME LITTLE HOUSEHOLD UNIT HERE.
WHAT'M I BID NOW, 100? - RIGHT HERE, 100!
- 100, NOW 200-- - 150!
- 175! - NOW 75 AND 200.
- 200!
- 224. - 225, AND 50--
- YOU GOT IT. - 275!
- 275, AND 300. 300, SIR IN THE BACK.
- RIGHT HERE. - 325.
- 325! - 325, NOW 50.
- YEAH! - NOW 75.
- 375! - 4, NOW 4--400.
400 ONCE, 400-- - YEAH!
- I HAVE 400 HERE.
- 425! - 425, NOW 50.
- YEAH!
- NOW 75, 475--
- 475. - NOW 500.
- YES! - 500.
525-- - 525.
- OH, MY GOD!
- NOW 550!
- YES! - [laughs]
- I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE TO SWITCH RICKY TO DECAF.
- [laughs] NOW 75--
[auctioneering] - YES!
- 600! - YES!
- 625. - YEAH!
- 650 NOW-- - YES!
- 650, NOW 75-- - 675.
- NOW $700-- - YEAH!
- 725-- - 725.
- NOW 50. ANYBODY GIVE $750.
- YEAH! - SURE.
- 800. - YEAH.
- 825 HERE. - VERY SURE.
- OOH. - 850.
- NO! - ONCE, TWICE, I SAY, MOE, YES.
- HEY!
- 825, MOE. - YIKES.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
THINK I MIGHT'VE OVERSPENT ON THIS ONE.
- RICKY GOT A TIP THAT THIS LOCKER'S BEEN UNTOUCHED
FOR TWO YEARS.
SO NOW WE'RE GONNA CRACK IT OPEN,
SEE WHAT'S BEEN LOCKED UP IN THERE ALL THIS TIME.
- WHOO, DOGGY. WE GOT SOME TROPHIES.
YOU'RE THE WINNER, BUBBA. - THIS IS NICE.
- YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'LL BRING?
- 100. IT'S REAL WOOD.
- YEAH, IT'S ALL WOOD.
YOU COULD WHITTLE A POCKETKNIFE ON THAT.
- YUP, SO THAT'S-- - OH, JEEZ.
- 150, 200 BUCKS. - EXACTLY.
- THOSE ARE NICE. - THERE'S A LEATHER JACKET.
$100 WORTH OF CLOTHES, THE JACKETS AND STUFF.
THAT JUST KEEPS ADDING UP. I'M SEEING DOLLAR SIGNS, BUB.
LOTS OF TOYS. - GOOD, CLEAN TOYS.
BARBIE STUFF.
WE GOT A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS JUST IN TOYS RIGHT THERE.
- THESE TOYS ARE GONNA PAY FOR THE UNIT.
BUT WE HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING REAL SPECIAL.
HEY, HEY, HEY!
- I LOVE LOCKBOXES.
- YOU LIKE HEY, HEY, HEY?
- SET HER DOWN.
- YOU KNOW THAT I'M ALWAYS PREPARED.
- HOLY [bleep]!
LOOKEE HERE.
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.
WE MAY HAVE TWO DIAMOND RINGS IN HERE.
- [bleep] BIG THAT IS.
- IT'S PROBABLY FAKE.
- WE'VE FOUND 'EM THIS BIG, AND THEY'RE ALWAYS--
- CZs.
- "CUBIC ZIRCORNIO." - "CUBIC ZIRCORNIA."
LET'S GET THESE CHECKED OUT. AND YOU KNOW--
- I KNOW WHERE TO GO.
- ME AND BUBBA ARE GONNA HIT MY FIRST CONNECTION I EVER MADE.
MY DEAR MOTHER.
- SHE'LL KNOW. - SHE'S AN EXPERT IN THIS.
- all: AAH...
- TV, PARTICLE BOARD...
IT'S A MAN'S UNIT.
YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT MANLY UNITS.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND BOYS IS THE PRICE OF THEIR TOYS.
- I SEE A LAMP, TV...
I'M GONNA WIN THIS UNIT FOR LESA.
- GOTTA BUY WHAT YOU NEED.
THAT DRESSER IS REAL WOOD, BUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IS MDF.
IT'S WHAT YOU BUY AT A DISCOUNT STORE.
- IT COULD BE. - IT MIGHT BE A BOAT SEAT.
I'D RATHER SEE A BOAT IN HERE
INSTEAD OF JUST PIECES OF A BOAT.
- I'M NOT--I'M NOT DIGGING IT.
- YEAH, A BACKSEAT TO A TRUCK.
- THERE'S AN INTERESTING LEATHER SEAT IN THE BACK.
I THINK MARY CAN MAKE SOME KIND OF CHAIR OR BENCH WITH IT.
- DON'T STOP UNLESS I [bleep] PUNCH YOU.
- MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, 100--
- 100, RIGHT HERE! - 100, NOW 1/4...
- RIGHT HERE! - HERE!
- NOW 75. - RIGHT HERE.
- 75, AND NOW 200. [auctioneering]
- BRING IT! - LESA'S INTERESTED IN THIS
UNIT? - AND I HAVE 200--
- 250. - 250, AND 70!
- BRING IT!
- I FEEL IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE HER PAY.
- OKAY, NOW 280-- - YES!
- I KNOW WHAT VICTOR'S UP TO. BITCH, I'M STEPPING IN.
- 300, NOW 300, NOW 3-- - BRING IT!
- NOW 350-- - 350, RIGHT HERE!
- 400, NOW 400! - BRING IT!
- NOW 1/4! 425 ONCE, 425 TWICE...
- LET HER HAVE IT. - I'VE SOLD IT.
LESA, $400, LESA, $400.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, VICTOR?
IF YOU'RE NOT BIDDING ON A [bleep] THING,
THEN WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?
- TOUGH [bleep]. - AND YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?
LOOK AT ME, VICTOR, I AM [bleep] SERIOUS AS [bleep].
- I DON'T GIVE A [bleep], AND GET OUTTA MY FACE.
- YEAH, YOU GET OUTTA MINE.
I MAKE A LIVING IN THIS.
YOU--THIS IS A JOKE FOR YOU, BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME.
- I CAME TO MAKE MY COMPETITION PAY.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
- I BOUGHT A LOCKER WITH BASICALLY A BUNCH OF JUNK.
- TREASURES.
- SO MARY COULD UPCYCLE WITH IT.
MARY SPECIALIZES IN TURNING ORDINARY THINGS
INTO ONE-OF-A- KIND ITEMS.
THIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE A JOB.
- YEAH, IT IS.
WHAT SHOULD WE TAKE OUT FIRST?
- ♪ ROCK-A-BYE BABY... ♪
♪ ON THE TREE TOP ♪
THE WOOD'S BLOND MAPLE,
THE LEGS ARE CUT OUT AT THE END TO GIVE IT AN EDGE.
IT COULD BE USED IN A KITCHEN, OR A CHILD'S DESK.
EASILY 125, EASILY. - AWESOME.
- I'M A LITTLE RELIEVED THAT I FOUND SOMETHING
THAT WON'T NEED A LOT OF UPDATING.
- OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, LOOK AT THESE.
THESE DRAWERS COULD BE TURNED INTO A SHELF ON THE WALL.
I WALLPAPER IT, PAINT IT, AND THEN PUT SOME, LIKE,
COAT HOOKS ON THERE.
ENTRYWAY.
IN A SMALL SPACE, OR ANYWHERE.
AND THEN--THEN HERE ITSELF--
COULD MAKE THIS INTO A WINE RACK.
- GOOD IDEA. MARY'S REALLY GOT AN EYE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- I MEAN, IT'S-- HAS A GOOD FRAME,
IT'S--YOU KNOW, PAINT IT, MAYBE CHANGE THESE.
YOU JUST REPLACE THESE ALTOGETHER.
JUST CUT IT STRAIGHT OFF, AND THEN PAINT IT.
- AS FURNITURE, THIS STUFF'S PRETTY MUCH WORTHLESS.
SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO WORK HER MAGIC.
- TREASURES.
- WHAT'S UP, HOMEGIRL?
- JERRY AND I BOUGHT A MAN'S UNIT,
AND OF COURSE VICTOR BID US UP ON IT.
I HOPE THIS LOCKER WAS WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
I'M STILL PISSED. - YOU WON IT, THOUGH, LESA.
- YOU BETTER FIND SOMETHING NICE IN HERE FOR ME,
TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
- BETTER PUT YOUR HANDS ON SOMETHING,
AND YOU'LL MAKE ME HAPPY.
- AH, [bleep]. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OH!
IS THIS A BOAT SEAT?
- THAT'S A MASSAGE TABLE.
- WHAT'S THIS, JERRY?
THERE'S NO FRIKKIN' SEAT TO THIS.
HOW IS THAT GONNA MAKE ME MONEY HERE?
- WHY IS SHE MAD AT ME, EXACTLY?
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, SHE'S THE ONE THAT BID.
- LET ME HELP YOU WITH THIS. THIS IS PRETTY NICE.
- WHA--OH, YOU FINALLY SEE SOMETHING YOU MIGHT LIKE?
- [laughs]
- YOU GOT THE TABLE... - OKAY.
- A NICE TABLE.
- SO THE TABLE AND CHAIRS... - ABOUT 150.
- AND NOW, PROBABLY NEED SOME MORE.
OH, MY GOD.
[laughs]
REALLY?
HELLO...
- WELL, AT LEAST I GOT HER TO LAUGH.
IT'S A HEAD THAT GO ON A COW THAT YOU LEARN HOW TO--
YOU PRACTICE TO ROPE WITH IT.
- WHERE'S THE BODY? - IT'S--I'M GETTING TO IT.
- I THINK THAT COW'S GONNA MAKE ME HAPPY.
WHAT? [laughs]
THIS IS THE COW.
THIS IS THE ROPING COW.
WHAT IS THIS, JERRY?
- LOOKS LIKE A COW LEG. - [laughs]
OH, MY GOSH, LOOKIT. AND THEN THIS HOOKS ONTO THIS.
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS THING'S WORTH A DAMN,
BUT IT'S KIND OF CUTE.
- A BUNCH OF COWBOYS WHERE YOU'RE FROM.
- LITTLE KIDS WOULD LIKE THAT. - YEAH.
- 75? - MAYBE MORE.
YOU MIGHT--SOMEBODY LOOK AT IT.
- JERRY'S RIGHT. WE CAN GET THIS THING LOOKED AT.
- SOMEBODY PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT.
- MARY AND I FOUND SOME OLD FURNITURE
THAT WAS JUST UGLY AS SIN.
MARY... I'M JUST HOPING SHE WAS ABLE
TO WORK SOME MIRACLE AND TURN THIS JUNK
INTO SOME MONEY.
WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR ME?
- OKAY, REMEMBER THE BROWN TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE OF A BED
THAT WE FOUND? - IT WAS HORRIFIC.
- OKAY, YOU READY TO SEE WHAT I DID?
- OH, MY GOSH.
- VOILA. - WOW!
- CAN YOU EVEN TELL IT WAS A BED?
- NO.
- SO IT'S ALL FROM THE ORIGINAL BED.
THIS IS THE HEADBOARD, AND THEN THE FOOTBOARD--
I MADE IT INTO THE BENCH.
THE PAINT, I USED ACRYLIC AND OIL PAINT.
THIS IS WALLPAPER.
- I'D LIKE TO CLIMB INSIDE YOUR HEAD
TO SEE HOW YOU FIGURE OUT ALL THIS.
I CONSIDER MYSELF PRETTY CREATIVE,
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO FEET,
BUT MARY'S IMAGINATION BLOWS MY SOCKS OFF.
I THINK THIS WILL MOVE...
525.
- YEAH. - TO A DESIGNER.
- YEAH. - YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE?
- WELL... - ARE YOU GONNA TAKE--
YOU ALREADY TOOK MY BREATH AWAY.
- OKAY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE DRESSER
THAT WAS MADE OUT OF THE SAME WOOD?
- YUP. IT HAD A MATE.
- IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO MAKE THIS INTERESTING.
- OH, BOY. UNBELIEVABLE WINE RACK.
- I KEPT THE ORIGINAL FRAME.
THESE ARE ALUMINUM CYLINDERS I ACTUALLY FOUND
ON THE SIDE OF THE STREET IN BULK TRASH.
TWO OF THE DRAWERS I MADE INTO THIS.
- WE WERE LIKE, $50 FOR THIS DRIFTWOOD.
- YEAH. [laughs]
- I THINK THIS WILL MOVE...
8? 825?
- THAT SOUNDS VERY NICE.
- YOU'RE MAGICAL AGAIN!
MARY'S NOT A MAGICIAN, SHE'S AN ALCHEMIST.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, MOE?
- SHE'S TURNED MY PILE OF WOOD INTO GOLD.
THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME, MOE.
[whinnies]
- HI. ARE YOU WAYNE?
- YEAH, WHO'S ASKIN'? - I'M LESA.
WE FOUND THIS ROPING CALF IN THIS UNIT
THAT VICTOR BID US UP ON.
- SO HOPEFULLY THIS ROPIN' CALF GONNA SAVE OUR HIDE.
- I HEARD THAT YOU KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THIS.
- YES.
YEAH, YOU GOT TWO SEPARATE ITEMS.
THESE ARE TRAINING DEVICES IN THE RODEO WORLD
CALLED HIGH HEELS. AND THESE, UH--
- NO, THESE ARE CALLED HIGH HEELS.
- both: [laugh]
- THESE ARE REALLY CALLED HIGH HEELS, YEAH.
THE RODEO EVENTS THAT WE DO, WE ROPE CATTLE,
AND YOU HAVE TO ROPE 'EM--SOME AROUND THE HEAD,
AND THEN SOME WE'LL ROPE AROUND THE BACK FEET.
THESE, UH--THESE ARE PRACTICE FOR ROPIN' THE HEELS.
COULD ATTACH THIS TO, LIKE, AN ATV, A PICKUP,
OR YOU CAN EVEN JUST TIE IT ON THE FENCE.
- THIS LITTLE UNIT HERE... IT'S IN GREAT SHAPE,
LOOKS LIKE IT'S BRAND NEW.
THIS UNIT--90 BUCKS IS WHAT THIS THING'S WORTH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- THIS IS KIND OF A TOY,
A ROPIN' TOY THAT, UH, YOU SIT AROUND THE HOUSE,
SIT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE, AND ALL THE KIDS ROPE,
AND EVERYBODY HAS FUN WITH IT.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
YOU GET A LOT OF, UH--A LOT OF PRACTICE OUT OF IT,
BUT IT'S JUST A LITTLE TOY.
WHAT MAKES THIS ONE A LITTLE UNIQUE IS THE CALF HIDE ON IT.
- OKAY, SO...
- ALL TOTALED, THAT WHOLE PACKAGE RIGHT THERE...
I WOULD SAY ABOUT 375.
- THAT'S NOT BAD. - THAT'S ABOUT $465.
HALLELUJAH. - OKAY, LEMME TRY.
- ALL RIGHT.
I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO SWING ONE.
YOU'RE KINDA SPUNKY. I LIKE THAT.
- [laughs] I LIKE TRYING EVERYTHING ONCE.
- YEAH? - [laughing]
- HOLD IT LIKE THAT.
PRETTY GOOD, PRETTY GOOD.
OH, MAN!
- I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
- PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GO AFTER LESA.
- COME HERE, HORSEY!
- BUT YOU CAN'T TIE HER DOWN.
[laughter]
- VERY GOOD.
I'D JUST PRETENDED IT WAS VICTOR.
- MY MOM PUFFY IS A LOCAL EXPERT.
HELLO, MOM.
AND IS A FANATIC ABOUT JEWELRY.
- HEY, BABE, HOW'S IT GOING? - GOOD.
- SO WE'RE TAKING THE TWO DIAMOND RINGS
WE FOUND IN OUR LOCKER TO HER STORE.
- SO WHAT YOU DOING TODAY?
- WE FOUND SOME JEWELRY IN A STORAGE UNIT, AND, UH,
WE'RE PRETTY SURE THAT IT'S GOLD,
BUT WE'VE GOT SOME BIG STONES,
AND WE JUST WANTED YOU TO CHECK IT OUT.
- LET ME TAKE A LOOK.
WOW.
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT TO ME?
- ABOUT TO RUN OUT OF FINGERS. - I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, UH...
- DON'T YOU THINK IT LOOKS LIKE ME?
- [laughs] IT LOOKS LIKE YOU, MOM.
- LET'S SEE IF IT'S GOLD.
[beeps] IT IS REAL.
- NICE. - THAT IS 14-KARAT GOLD.
- NOW SHE'S GONNA SEE IF THEY'RE REAL DIAMONDS.
CHECK IT, YOUR MACHINE'S READY.
- YOU SEE THE LIGHT.
THE RED LIGHT...
- WHAT DO WE WANT, GREEN?
- I WANT IT GREEN.
THAT MEANS DIAMOND.
- I'M REALLY GONNA SEE GREEN IF IT'S REAL.
[beeps]
- GREEN.
- THAT'S REAL.
- THAT IS A DIAMOND. OH, YEAH.
- HOLY COW, I THOUGHT THIS WAS FAKE.
- WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
- SO LET'S CHECK THIS OUT.
YOU HAVE GOT A THREE-STONE RING.
- LET'S SEE IT. - PLEASE BE GREEN.
[beeps]
- GIMME A HIGH-FIVE, BUBBA.
- WELL, THEY'RE ALL DIAMONDS.
THE CLARITY IS A VS1.
- THAT KIND OF CLARITY-- ALMOST A PERFECT DIAMOND.
- TOTAL OF 4 KARATS IN DIAMONDS, AND 14-KARAT GOLD.
I'M GOING TO SAY THAT THE RETAIL REPLACEMENT VALUE IS...
APPROXIMATELY 30,000 ON THIS RING.
- $30,000?
- ON BOTH, OR JUST THAT ONE?
- THIS ONE. - WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
- [clears throat]
- 18 TO 19,000.
THEY'RE REAL, GUYS.
- NO WAY. - YES, WAY.
- I WAS HOPING TO GET $400 IN GOLD TODAY.
- THAT'S WHAT WE WALKED IN THE DOOR THINKING.
IN 38 YEARS OF DOING THIS,
I'VE NEVER FOUND THAT MUCH MONEY IN JEWELRY.
OH, MY LORD, YOU'VE MADE MY DAY.
AND I HAVE MY CONNECTIONS TO THANK FOR IT.
YOU KNOW I'VE JUST BEEN CARRYING THOSE IN MY POCKET
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
- RICK, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT.
- YES!
YES! - DUDE, THAT WAS A LICK.
- YES, YES! WHAT A LICK.
- WERE YOU SKIPPIN'? - I SKIP LIKE A MOFO.
- [laughs]
- narrator: THE IRVING WINNERS WERE RICKY AND BUBBA,
SCORING A WHOPPING 49 GRAND ON THEIR DIAMOND RINGS.
MOE PRIGOFF UPCYCLED HIS FURNITURE FOR A PROFIT OF 650.
LESA LEWIS ROPED IN A PROFIT OF $200 WITH HER CATTLE HEELS
AND PRACTICE CALF.
WHILE VICTOR RJESNJANSKY WAS JUST PLAIN ANNOYING.
- IS IT TIGHT?
- HEY, VICTOR, HOW COME YOU'RE BACK FROM LUNCH SO QUICK?
- ♪ A LITTLE SUGAR ON YOUR BISCUIT FEELS GOOD ♪
[chuckles] - MY FAVORITE POSITION.
- WHA--YOU'RE FILMING THIS?
[laughter]
MY BACK...
[laughs]
- CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE?
- THAT PROBABLY LOOKED SO PERVERTED.