1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,735 Warning the following program contains scenes 2 00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,336 Of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends 3 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,405 Who compete to embarrass each other. 4 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,141 Narrator: Coming up, why is joe going viral? 5 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,809 It won't give you ringworm. 6 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,877 [ laughter ] 7 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,614 Are q and herb kings of the coupon? 8 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,682 Guess who's saving dort money? 9 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,951 I'm gonna save your money. 10 00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:20,485 [ laughter ] 11 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:23,755 And which losing joker will be anatomically incorrect 12 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,824 In tonight's punishment? 13 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,893 [ laughter ] 14 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,563 Sal: Prepare for something amazing. 15 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:32,697 Q: Hey, mustache, what's up? 16 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,166 [ laughter ] 17 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,968 Murr: Like a boss! 18 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,636 [ laughter ] 19 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,639 Sal: I will never forgive you! 20 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,707 Joe: Larry! 21 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,575 [ laughter ] 22 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,645 This is some crunk-ass chop. 23 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,047 Today, we're competing head-to-head tournament style 24 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,650 As participants in a taste test focus group. 25 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,051 The unsuspecting moderator 26 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,520 Is going to be asking us questions about the product. 27 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,990 And we have to give answers that were written by the other guys. 28 00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,924 At the end, the moderator will be pulled aside 29 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,326 And asked which one of the two guys 30 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,394 Should go to the next round. 31 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,464 If the moderator does not pick you, you lose. 32 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:08,801 ♪♪ 33 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:09,868 Alright, gentlemen, how are you doing? 34 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,603 How are you doing? Good to see you. 35 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,139 Joe and prince herb wrote the answers for each other. That's right. 36 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:16,408 I'm, I'm joe. I'm derek. Derek, good to see you. 37 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,210 My friends call me prince herb if you want to do that. 38 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:21,313 Prince herb? Yeah, yeah. Okay, prince herb. 39 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,949 So here we go. 40 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,819 How would you describe the product to a friend? 41 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:29,621 Derek, I'd put it has a buttery mouth feel. 42 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,889 Okay. 43 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,957 Followed by a milky throat glide 44 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,094 And a soft tummy touch. 45 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,430 Full review to come. 46 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:45,370 If I'm describing it to my core four, that's -- 47 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:46,638 Uh, I'd tell 'em. 48 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,107 It tastes like the time darlene cooked a pigeon by accident 49 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,577 And it was surprisingly palatable. 50 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,514 Oh. Wow. Wow, wow. Classic darlene. 51 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,716 What does this product remind you of? 52 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,052 Joe, just keep, throughout the whole turn, 53 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:04,389 Touching prince herb's hand. 54 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,658 Joe: Uh, so number two, what does this product remind you of? 55 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,661 I slept in a used coffin one night on a dare. 56 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,531 And I swear the smell brought me right back to that place. 57 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,067 [ laughter ] 58 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:18,671 Because it was mahogany, you know, and like barbecue. 59 00:02:18,673 --> 00:02:21,507 Alright. What's a good slogan for the product? 60 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:29,214 And so for me, a good slogan for these chips, I think. 61 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,549 Yes, I know. 62 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:35,087 You know, I think it's it's this will eliminate 63 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:39,224 Your clinical depression or your money back. 64 00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:45,130 What do you have, joe? They won't give you ringworm. 65 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,834 Derek gets it. 66 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,369 Yeah, well, most things won't won't give you ringworm. 67 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,971 Yeah, but how many people tout that? 68 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,506 I'm out there right up front with its our headline. 69 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,308 [ laughter ] 70 00:02:56,310 --> 00:03:00,178 Okay. At what occasions would you have this product? 71 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,982 I put, uh, you know what I put? Let me just [mutters] 72 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,450 Q: Look at joe's face. 73 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,786 At what occasions when you have this product? 74 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,654 I would do it at backyard shrimp chews, 75 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,989 Downstairs celery dances, 76 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:14,326 And next door candy rodeos and that's -- and birthdays. 77 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:22,267 [ laughter ] 78 00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:25,070 When you close your eyes, what memory does the product evoke? 79 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,740 I went to a specific event, so I'm five years old 80 00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:30,809 And I'm in my grandma's pantry where I got locked in 81 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:34,212 During a game of hide and seek. 82 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,748 And I was in there for 14 hours 83 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,215 Eating anything I could to survive 84 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,953 Until my mom came and picked me up -- 85 00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:42,821 And I was eating anything in there. 86 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,289 Dry pastas. 87 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,824 Q: Dry pastas? 88 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,159 Cannellini beans, tomato paste. 89 00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:48,360 I was getting whatever I could. 90 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:51,496 I ate three boxes of arm & hammer baking soda 91 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,298 Accidentally got into the arm & hammer baking soda. 92 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,500 [ laughter ] 93 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,569 Straight-up yeast. 94 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,305 Alright. Who would you share this product with? 95 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,575 Yeah, I would probably just give that as a thank you. 96 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,443 It's like a craigslist thing. 97 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,180 [ laughter ] 98 00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:10,783 A parting gift, for craigslist. 99 00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:14,052 My answer was similar. I said idris elba. 100 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,722 Wait, what? 101 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,124 -Derek, I'll take you. -Sure. 102 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,392 Oh, here we go. Here we go. 103 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,860 Of the two... Oh. 104 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:26,731 Which one had the better answers, joe or prince? 105 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,066 The prince. The prince. 106 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:32,537 Prince herb wins. Oh, my god! 107 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,339 What a quick fall from grace for you. 108 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:39,944 [ laughter ] 109 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,946 Hi. Hello, hi. How are you? 110 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,348 What's your name? -Nyla. 111 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,149 Nyla. I'm james. Nyla. I'm brian. 112 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:46,551 Hi, brian. Good to meet you. 113 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,888 I just want to say off the top that I'm so excited to be here. 114 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,157 I took the entire day off today for this. 115 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,892 I can be here as long as you need. 116 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,828 And I give great feedback for your client. 117 00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:58,296 Just wanted to say that. [ new york accent ] oh, awesome! 118 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,499 I-I didn't take the day off because this is my only job. 119 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:07,172 So how would you describe the product to a friend? 120 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:10,843 This is some crunk-ass chow. "crunk-ass chow?" 121 00:05:10,845 --> 00:05:11,976 It's good? It's crunk-tastic. 122 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,913 Chow is always good, crunk chow? 123 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,248 Yeah, crunk-ass chow. 124 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:20,385 Okay, what kind of mascot do you envision for this product? 125 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,921 I would. I said a well-endowed ghost. 126 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,923 [ laughter ] 127 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,125 Why the well-endowed ghost? 128 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,663 I just think if you're looking for a corporate mascot, 129 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:32,397 You want one with big junk. 130 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:36,401 How would you know? Do you go around checking mascots' junk? 131 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,204 [ laughter ] 132 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:40,405 Okay. 133 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,141 She's, she's very relaxed. Very relaxed. 134 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,009 She's taking it all in stride. 135 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,946 What are this product's key weaknesses? 136 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,348 I wrote, "it doesn't come with an allen wrench," 137 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,951 Which is a mistake. Like why? 138 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,888 Yeah, why would it not? 139 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:59,091 You need an allen wrench for almost on a daily basis. 140 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,825 You never know when you need it. 141 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,761 Well, she's just going with the flow straight up, 142 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,229 Laid back chill. 143 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,830 But what is the purpose of the allen wrench 144 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:09,568 With the chips is my only... Eating chips on the job. 145 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,170 Right. She gets it. Nyla gets it. 146 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,439 What's a good slogan for the product? 147 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:15,974 Slogan for a product? Ready? 148 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,210 You're going to wish you weren't circumcised. 149 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,382 If I could, I would redo that answer. 150 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,452 Alright. Hey, look, I'm not judging whatever. 151 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,521 She's how I want to feel right now. 152 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,523 Who would you share this product with? 153 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,325 I said everyone. 154 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:38,863 I'd put it right out next to the fishbowl full of car keys. 155 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,398 No way she's getting that reference. 156 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,201 Take your car, leave, or get more chips and stay. 157 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,469 Oh, no, it's just like, you know, 158 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,204 How you you know, you have parties and everything. 159 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,473 You put a fishbowl and everybody throws their car keys in it? 160 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,608 And then at the end of the night, 161 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,609 Everybody takes out keys. 162 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,010 And then whoever's keys they are, 163 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,147 You end up having sex with them? 164 00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:58,216 Yeah, it's a standard key party. It's called a key party. 165 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,352 We're talking about potato chips. 166 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,887 Just just a quick refresher for everybody. 167 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,089 [ coughing ] choking on a chip. 168 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,224 Oh, boy. 169 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,559 No more chips for him. 170 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,227 I'm choking on the chip. You should go home. 171 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,496 No, no. I cleared my calendar. 172 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,631 [ laughter ] 173 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,367 What occasions would you have this product at? 174 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,102 I kept it real. I wrote, 175 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,905 "when assholes show up at your house unannounced." 176 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,776 You don't give them real food, give 'em the chips. 177 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,043 Have some chips. 178 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,579 [ laughter ] 179 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,113 -You want to come with me? -Sure. 180 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,449 Joe: Alright. Who do you guys think got it? 181 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,985 I think q's gonna get it. 182 00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:37,189 Do you think the client will be able to use their responses? 183 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:40,124 I don't. 184 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,596 Of the two, who gave better feedback, james or brian? 185 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,599 The feedback? 186 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,802 Probably this guy. James? 187 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,203 She picked murr! 188 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,005 [ laughter ] 189 00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:54,272 She picked me. 190 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:58,076 ♪♪ 191 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,078 -How are you? -This is jennifer, guys. 192 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,279 Joe: This is the end all be all here. 193 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,815 Championship round. Championship round. 194 00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:04,216 They're trying to dethrone prince herb. 195 00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,819 This is the product. I guess some kind of iced tea. 196 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:09,688 Sal: Yeah. So what words or phrases 197 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,956 Come to your mind after tasting this product? 198 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,558 Yeah, I wrote. 199 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,761 [ laughter ] 200 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,030 Joe: Ah-ha, got him! 201 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,870 So what words or phrases come to your mind 202 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,271 After tasting this product? 203 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,873 I wrote, uh, 204 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,576 "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicov olcanoconiosis." 205 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,211 Okay. 206 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:37,215 It's like a preserve-nce that they put into, like, drinks. 207 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,751 What was the word again? It's called, 208 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:43,355 "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicov olcanoconiosis." 209 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:44,956 I've never heard that word. 210 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,424 Yeah, I only knew how to say it 211 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,093 Because a friend of mine has a tattoo of the word. 212 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,896 Okay. [ laughter ] 213 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,765 What would your answer be? Oh, what words or phrase 214 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,167 Comes to mind after tasting this product. 215 00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:58,636 I wrote kook koo-ch bait. 216 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:02,240 Shoo-ch. Uh, shoo-ch bait. 217 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:06,111 Explain that. You know, like a big chooch? 218 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,380 Okay. A chooch? What a staten island word that is. 219 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,515 Look at this chooch. Chooch. 220 00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:11,449 So, how would you describe this product to a friend? 221 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:14,786 I would say, "hey joe, I know you have a big nose and all, 222 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,388 But taste this. 223 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,657 You're going to love it, you fat, gray haired [bleep]." 224 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,793 Wow. 225 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:25,463 Joe: He said it. Q: It was a shot at you. 226 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,665 So what does this product remind you guys of? 227 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,801 It tastes amazing, I thought. 228 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:34,206 But it smells like someone who hurt me. 229 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,342 Does it? So, [groans] I'm weary. 230 00:09:36,344 --> 00:09:38,410 Yeah. Yeah. How about you, james? 231 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,145 What does the product remind me of, 232 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,048 My aunt melvin's catastrophic neck? 233 00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:47,152 Okay, please explain. 234 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,421 My aunt melvin has a neck -- 235 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,157 Her neck aged twice as fast as the rest of her body. 236 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,427 Her neck age twice as fast as the rest of her body. 237 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,629 Well, is there any specific reason? 238 00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:01,699 No, no. She nasty. She nasty. 239 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:04,970 Oh, okay. 240 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,305 At what occasions would you have this product? 241 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,308 It very much functioned as an aphrodisiac, 242 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:15,014 Which is incredible because I never get turned on anymore. 243 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:20,718 Okay. It awakens, you know. 244 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,655 Desire maybe? Desires maybe. "desire" would be a nice way to put it. 245 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:24,990 You seem very awakened now. 246 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,193 Yeah. I'm on the brink. 247 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,928 Alright. I'll write that down. 248 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,063 I have it written down. You don't have to do that. 249 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,731 I just want to make sure I'm taking all the notes. 250 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,401 Okay. 251 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,938 So what should the recommended serving of this product be? 252 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:44,276 A thousand doubles. A monkey's fist. 253 00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:45,878 Are you guys done? Yeah, oh. 254 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,081 Q: Look at her face! 255 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,084 What an ending! Wow. What an ending! 256 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,621 So how was that? 257 00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:56,955 It was different. 258 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,756 [ laughter ] 259 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,027 Who you thought would provide better feedback moving forward, 260 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,863 James or prince? 261 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,301 -She's having a hard time. -She's having a hard time. 262 00:11:09,303 --> 00:11:13,305 Okay, james. -James! Oh! 263 00:11:13,307 --> 00:11:17,509 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 264 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,777 Murr made his aunt melvin proud. 265 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,048 He's the only one who safe from the loser board 266 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,517 Today we're teaming up, giving presentations on lifehacks. 267 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,119 The catch is, our presentations 268 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,586 Have been made by the other team. 269 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,655 At the end of the presentation, 270 00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:31,723 We'll ask the attendees to raise their hand 271 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,924 If they learned anything of value. 272 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,860 The team with the fewest hands raised loses 273 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,728 And they have to get the heck out of here. 274 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,330 [ sal laughs ] what? 275 00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:41,933 ♪♪ 276 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,602 Welcome, guys. Thank you so much for your time today. 277 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,405 Joe and I go around teaching lifehacks. 278 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,208 Here we go. Allow us to introduce ourselves. 279 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,410 I'm professional life coach, joe murray. 280 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:56,348 Yes. And I'm james gatto. His biggest success. 281 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:59,417 So james is his protégé? Yes. 282 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:02,020 Cleaning, produce lifehack. 283 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,090 Washing your produce by hand is time consuming. Joe: Yeah. 284 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:08,560 There's one hands-free method to clean your produce, 285 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,830 And it is already in your home. 286 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,399 Here it is. 287 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,368 [ toilet flushes ] 288 00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:19,237 Flush it. 289 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,772 That's it. 290 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:24,109 I remember a toilet bowl is cleaner than a dog's mouth. 291 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,578 Yeah, that makes you guys feel way better 292 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:30,048 About the whole thing. Right? 293 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,116 Abe lincs. 294 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,519 Like it or not, cheating is a part of life. 295 00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:35,187 Every successful person has lied 296 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,656 And cheated their way to the top. 297 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,329 As an example, we will admit to a recent lie we have told. 298 00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:46,398 James? 299 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,802 Uh, I lied to a friend about whether I kept a gift 300 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,938 He gave me about five, six years ago. 301 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:56,141 This is true. A recent lie that I told. 302 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,543 I said to someone that I was having 303 00:12:57,545 --> 00:13:00,278 I had fun with my children. 304 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,080 [ laughter ] 305 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,415 What?! 306 00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,883 Hit next. 307 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,618 Alright. 308 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,220 Eliminate shopping anxiety. 309 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,687 This is big. 310 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,557 Too embarrassed to buy things like prophylactics, 311 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,760 Tampons, filthy magazines, or other adult content? I am. 312 00:13:14,762 --> 00:13:18,296 You can eliminate that shopping anxiety very easily. 313 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,698 Purchase a sorry for your loss, or a sympathy greeting card, 314 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,702 Along with the embarrassing items, right? 315 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,972 Cashiers will assume you're buying these things as a gift 316 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:30,442 For someone who lost a loved one to cheer them up. 317 00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:33,045 [ laughter ] 318 00:13:33,047 --> 00:13:37,115 How to learn another language in under two weeks. 319 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,450 Immerse yourself in a language 320 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:42,120 By changing your phone settings to that language. 321 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,922 That's how we learned japanese. 322 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,723 Think about how often you guys use your phones, right? Q: There you go. 323 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,893 We will now give our phones to one of you. 324 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,066 And then please go to settings, language & region 325 00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:55,934 And change our phones to japanese. 326 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,135 It won't faze me in the slightest. 327 00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,005 I know the language. 328 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,674 Joe, I can't help but notice you didn't put your phone up. 329 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,276 No, one's good. 330 00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:09,481 It's now all in japanese. 331 00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:12,017 Oh, it's all japanese. Now, go to your texts. 332 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:19,691 Oh! Fantastic. 333 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,628 I have going to revisit that later. 334 00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,162 Yeah. 335 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,230 Oh. 336 00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:31,369 Family hacks is what this says. 337 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,772 First hack. 338 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:38,376 Right, this is how you'll be able to look at that. 339 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,779 Grandma will know how to use it. 340 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,382 It's all right -- it's all right there. 341 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,285 I've never seen anyone just crash and burn in my life. 342 00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:51,723 Joe: Thank you. Murr: Thanks so much. 343 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,259 So this is me and my lovely wife 344 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,394 And most of our adorable dog, penny. 345 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,397 And here's me with I have nine dogs. 346 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,266 Great. There you go. So, thank you, guys. 347 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,801 By show of hands, who feels like 348 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,603 They've learned something of value here today? 349 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:06,804 Put a hand up. One. 350 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:10,342 One. [ laughter ] 351 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,609 Q: We can do one. 352 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,946 I'm prince, this is brian. I'm brian, hello. 353 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,015 And we give presentations on lifehacks 354 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,685 And how to make life easier -- for girls. 355 00:15:19,687 --> 00:15:21,419 Yeah. 356 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,621 Wanna get started? Yeah, sure. 357 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:27,893 Uh, the one that people ask about the most -- money hacks. 358 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:29,961 You can check your neighbor's mailbox 359 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:33,365 For coupons and samples. Break the law. 360 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,834 True story. We were at red lobster once 361 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:38,036 And when the bill came, he had a 10 percent off coupon 362 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,038 That he had gotten from his neighbor's mailbox. 363 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,108 That night, it was good for $90. 364 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,777 So you spent $900 at red lobster? 365 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,913 Nine hundred bucks. Man: That's a big bill. 366 00:15:47,915 --> 00:15:50,049 It was the seafood feast. Yeah. 367 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,854 Save big money by ordering over the phone. 368 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:58,123 This is this is great. Pretend to be a -- 369 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,025 [ laughter ] 370 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,966 Save big money by ordering over the phone. 371 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,568 This is, this is great. 372 00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:10,903 Pretend to be a -- 373 00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:13,472 [ laughter ] 374 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:17,175 Sal: There's something for the taking 375 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:21,045 That you can't be double checked for it, that's a hack. 376 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,648 Restaurants will be too cowardly to ask you to prove it. 377 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,983 What we're saying. 378 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,720 Save dort money. 379 00:16:27,722 --> 00:16:30,989 Man: What's dort? Q: I'm glad you asked. 380 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,324 Oh, there's no. 381 00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:35,193 Joe: [ laughing ] no. There's no explanation. 382 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,931 It's like, dort is a combination of "that"... 383 00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:40,599 And "oort". 384 00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:43,001 Like and "oort." 385 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,736 You know what I mean? Like? 386 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:48,473 Okay, I never pay for frozen yogurt again. 387 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,744 Look, find a container in the trash, you know. 388 00:16:51,746 --> 00:16:53,411 Paint it gold. 389 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,280 Present it as a promotion from 1992 390 00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,816 That gives you free fro for life. 391 00:16:57,818 --> 00:17:00,352 The 16-year-old at the register will not question you. 392 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:03,688 Cowardly. Guess who's saving dort money? 393 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,557 ♪ we gonna save dort money ♪ 394 00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:08,627 [ laughter ] 395 00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:10,963 Business hacks. So, first things first. 396 00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,297 Okay, because I was a victim of this. 397 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:15,099 You want to use a professional e-mail address. 398 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,302 So brian's college e-mail was, 399 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:22,307 Ganjaweasel69 @universityofphoenixonline.Com 400 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:25,043 Yeah. To which he did not go. 401 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,512 In college you want to be the guy that's known as 402 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:31,249 "ganjaweasel69" for many reasons. 403 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,651 Hit next. 404 00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:35,621 Now, that's my new one president@gmails. 405 00:17:37,858 --> 00:17:39,858 Next slide. 406 00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,060 Dailies. Create a "frenu". 407 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,863 A frenu or "friend menu" 408 00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:48,200 Is when you befriend people solely based on their career 409 00:17:48,202 --> 00:17:50,535 So you can get free services out of them. 410 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,670 Like, on my frenu, I got 411 00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,938 A dentist that cleans my teeth gratis, 412 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,675 A cop that got me out of two speeding tickets, 413 00:17:56,677 --> 00:18:00,879 And a hit and run -- legally cannot discuss that. 414 00:18:00,881 --> 00:18:03,482 And a barber that cuts my hair for free in return. 415 00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:06,284 I just have to talk about him during these presentations. 416 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:09,154 [ laughter ] murr: That's prince herb's barber. 417 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:12,224 That's max zotta of men's best haircut in brooklyn. 418 00:18:12,226 --> 00:18:13,558 Top-notch barber. 419 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,560 If you say to max, "brian and prince herb send us" 420 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,895 You're gonna get 10% off. 421 00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,763 Now he's on your frenu. 422 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,700 [ laughter ] 423 00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:23,968 So raise your hand if you think that you've learned 424 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,840 Anything of value from this presentation today. 425 00:18:27,842 --> 00:18:30,709 Joe and murr: One. Two. 426 00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:34,513 Okay. Great. 427 00:18:34,515 --> 00:18:36,448 So joe and murr were total hacks, 428 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:39,651 So joe is tonight's big loser. 429 00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:41,119 Hello, everyone. 430 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,456 Joe has lost and as you can see, you're already naked, 431 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,724 Which means that we're going to put you 432 00:18:45,726 --> 00:18:47,192 In something to replace that. 433 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,994 Oh, it's not I'm going out there naked? Alright. I'm ready. 434 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,464 Punishment for you, not for everybody else. Got it, got it. 435 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,466 We don't want you to see what we put on you, buddy. 436 00:18:54,468 --> 00:18:56,134 So we're going to -- you remember these? 437 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,802 Ah, yeah, the blackout sunglasses. There you go. 438 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:58,937 Murr: Let's get those right on your head. 439 00:18:58,939 --> 00:19:01,005 Guys? Guys? 440 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,807 So now we're going to have you get dressed. 441 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,543 And then we're going to have you enter a room 442 00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:05,944 And your punishment will begin then. 443 00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:08,346 And you're not supposed to know anything prior to that. 444 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,216 Okay, it's cold. Can I get dressed? 445 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:16,020 -Alright, joey, here you go. -Hey, there he is. 446 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,223 Good morning, everybody. How are you? 447 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,292 Sal: Today we have a bunch of educators here, 448 00:19:20,294 --> 00:19:22,961 And joe is going to be work shopping his presentation 449 00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:25,964 That he's to be taking to schools all across the country. 450 00:19:25,966 --> 00:19:27,900 Welcome, everybody. Thanks so much for coming. 451 00:19:27,902 --> 00:19:29,101 I appreciate it. 452 00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:31,904 I'm work shopping presentation for the room. 453 00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:33,438 Alright, joe. 454 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,108 Here we go. The human body. Okay? 455 00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:41,045 So who am I? My name is joseph menarchy. 456 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,715 My goal is to educate our nation's youth 457 00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:45,383 About their changing bodies. 458 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,387 Note my partner, cindy glass has left our crew. 459 00:19:48,389 --> 00:19:52,857 So I've be doing this presentation solo. 460 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,060 Okay, today we'll be focusing on the miracle 461 00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:56,862 That is the female body. 462 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,934 Let's enter it. Here we go. 463 00:20:01,936 --> 00:20:05,403 Alright. So now you have to take your clothes off. 464 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:11,276 Okay. So here we go. 465 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,544 Q: Look at 'em. Look at 'em. 466 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:17,816 Okay, today we'll be focusing on the miracle 467 00:20:17,818 --> 00:20:19,151 That is the female body. 468 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:21,486 Alright, so now you have to take your clothes off. 469 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,021 [ laughter ] 470 00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:25,924 Okay. Um... 471 00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:32,230 Q: Look at 'em. Look at 'em. 472 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,099 This was cindy's suit. 473 00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:36,535 It was an anatomically correct, female. 474 00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:41,373 This is a real character from our childhood. 475 00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:43,575 Google slim goodbody if you don't know who it is. 476 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,444 The man with a nice robe from the '80s 477 00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:47,646 That taught children about their bodies. 478 00:20:47,648 --> 00:20:49,314 Okay, so here we go. 479 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,583 Why is my bod a-changing, mr. Joey? 480 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,655 Q: Look at this guy. 481 00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:58,791 Okay, no need to call me mr. Joey. 482 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:00,793 You can't stop changing that bod. Okay. 483 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,063 Body hair. Take care of it. 484 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:06,465 Uh, shave it. 485 00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:07,800 Uh, wax it. 486 00:21:07,802 --> 00:21:09,668 Pluck it. 487 00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:10,735 Burn it. 488 00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,671 Uh, just get rid of it. 489 00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:15,007 Or, you can keep it, but, really? 490 00:21:15,009 --> 00:21:16,341 You're going to keep it? 491 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:19,544 [ laughter ] 492 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:23,147 Your budding breasts journey. 493 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:26,551 I'm really missing cindy at this point. 494 00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:29,154 Okay, little swellings to start. 495 00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,426 Then darkening of the nippleolas. 496 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,032 Finally big round full breasts. 497 00:21:40,034 --> 00:21:43,569 Often lopsided, often for life. 498 00:21:46,173 --> 00:21:47,305 It's really the journey of the breasts 499 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,640 That we take the children through here. 500 00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:50,042 The girls know when they start, with little lumpy dumpies 501 00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:51,443 They're gonna work their way up. 502 00:21:51,445 --> 00:21:54,646 [ laughter ] 503 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:57,782 -Lumpy dumpies? -Lumpy dumpies. 504 00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:00,719 When will my perfect breasts stop growing? 505 00:22:00,721 --> 00:22:03,088 Uh, depends, it could be feb. 506 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,926 And that's pr-- that's about it, I think that covers all of it. 507 00:22:07,928 --> 00:22:12,197 [ laughter ] 508 00:22:12,199 --> 00:22:14,533 True or false, you can't get pregnant with braces. 509 00:22:14,535 --> 00:22:17,870 We hear this all the time. 510 00:22:17,872 --> 00:22:20,338 False. 511 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,942 -She's got braces. -While statistically women 512 00:22:23,944 --> 00:22:26,679 With braces get pregnant less often than women without braces, 513 00:22:26,681 --> 00:22:29,281 The only true pregnancy protection are the jimmy hats. 514 00:22:29,283 --> 00:22:32,885 [ laughter ] 515 00:22:32,887 --> 00:22:34,419 I'm not sure why I'm in this suit for this. 516 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:39,691 Uh, your haunches. Okay. 517 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,960 Okay. A woman's developing haunches 518 00:22:41,962 --> 00:22:45,864 Are necessary to descend down a steep embankment. 519 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:51,103 Underdeveloped haunches. 520 00:22:51,105 --> 00:22:54,306 [ laughter ] 521 00:22:54,308 --> 00:22:55,640 Thank you, ladies. 522 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,576 Join me tomorrow as I present to the fellas. 523 00:22:57,578 --> 00:22:59,645 Murr: Whoo! 524 00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,915 By the way, if you're wondering... 525 00:23:02,917 --> 00:23:04,316 And by the way, if you guys are wondering... 526 00:23:04,318 --> 00:23:06,518 ...Suit's reversible... ...The suit's reversible... 527 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,719 ...So I wear this for the boys. 528 00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:09,121 ...So I wear this, wear this for the boys. 529 00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:11,456 Show 'em the back. 530 00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:12,991 Oh. 531 00:23:12,993 --> 00:23:16,929 So, you can see the boy's penis. 532 00:23:16,931 --> 00:23:18,396 So any feedback? 533 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,199 Woman: But where is the first roll out of this happening? 534 00:23:21,201 --> 00:23:22,467 Sal: Connecticut. Uh... 535 00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:24,336 Oh, where? In connecticut schools. 536 00:23:24,338 --> 00:23:25,604 Uh, yeah. In connecticut. 537 00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:26,671 Then when we get thrown out of there, 538 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:28,673 We go right across to new hampshire. 539 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:29,742 We're close enough to get to new hampshire 540 00:23:29,744 --> 00:23:31,810 In case it doesn't go right. 541 00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:33,678 Get thrown out of new hampshire, right to massachusetts. 542 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,079 If you get thrown out of new hampshire, 543 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:36,214 I can just, I'll just go over to -- 544 00:23:36,216 --> 00:23:38,216 I go over to the ferry in newport to rhode island. 545 00:23:38,218 --> 00:23:40,885 From there, we flee the country to canada. 546 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,220 If things get real rough, I flee to canada, 547 00:23:42,222 --> 00:23:44,889 I go right to canada. Niagara, take a picture. 548 00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:46,825 And I'm out, I flee. 549 00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:48,026 They put up with stuff like this in canada. 550 00:23:48,028 --> 00:23:50,295 This is actually based on a canadian tv show. 551 00:23:50,297 --> 00:23:51,764 Yes, I do wear this around the house. 552 00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:53,031 And I do wear this around the house, 553 00:23:53,033 --> 00:23:54,232 In case anybody's wondering. 554 00:23:54,234 --> 00:23:56,769 [ laughter ] 555 00:23:56,771 --> 00:23:58,370 I think we've had enough of all this. 556 00:23:58,372 --> 00:24:01,039 [ laughter ] 557 00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:02,741 -Bravo! Very good, joey! -Nice, joey.