Hey, everybody!
It's March, and as always,
everyone's talking about basketball.
So this year, we're getting into the b-ball spirit
with the first ever "Impractical Jokers"
fantasy draft.
I'm here with Orlando Magic stars,
Terrence Ross and Mo Bamba.
And we'll be creating our very own
"Impractical Jokers" franchise.
That's right. Stick around!
We got more fun because it starts right now.
♪♪
Hey, everybody! I'm Joey Fatone.
And I'm here at Graffiti Junktion in Orlando
with two of the Magic's finest --
Mo Bamba and Terrence Ross.
Feeling good, gentlemen? -Yes, sir.
You guys are fans of the show.
What's one of your favorite moments?
For me, it's when Sal threw the chicken nugget
and almost the guy,
and then the guy came running into his store, like,
"Bring me the guy who threw the chicken nugget".
Terrence, what do you think?
Uh, probably the very first episode --
the White Castle stare down.
Just the minute-long stare down.
[ Laughs ]
That's a great episode.
All right, so what we're doing here today is creating
our very own "Impractical Jokers" franchise
from top to bottom.
Now we already have our players.
-Yeah! -Sal, Joe, Murr, and Q.
But so much more goes into a team.
We'll need uniforms, a mascot, a sponsor,
and much more.
All right. So let's come up with a name.
Now calling them the Impractical Jokers,
of course, is too obvious, but let's come up
with something that captures
the spirit of the guys and the show.
I was actually thinking about one.
-Okay? -How about the Slam Gunks?
The Slam Gunks like Tony Gunk?
Tony Gunk -- ace reporter on the beat.
Kind of like that? Terrence, what about you?
Cranjis McBasketball.
You like Cranjis McBasketball?
-I love it. -Cranjis McBasketball?
Cranjis McBasketball?
[ Laughter ]
So another one I think we can probably do is
I think when Joe was on the tram...
-Hm. -...he was Captain Fatbelly.
-Aah. -Yeah, yeah.
So they're like Cap-- maybe Fat Fatbelly,
and then they'd have like the motto, it's like, "Yeah, do it!"
Both: "Suck it!"
Exactly. I think that's a good one.
-That is. -That one is.
Should we do that with the Fat -- Fatbellies?
-Fatbellies. -So Fatbellies it is.
Love it. Now we're gonna be talking about uniforms.
Of course, you guys are the experts on that kind of thing.
What are you looking for in a uniform?
To me, it's comfort.
Just have a light jersey and being able to get up
and down a floor easy.
I like to wear, you know, arm sleeves, head bands,
all that, so I like to look nice when I'm out there.
-Yeah. -But I mean it's whatever catches the eye.
Does that help you out as far as the sleeves and the headband?
I mean, the headband, of course, for sweating if you need it.
No.
But what is it, like compression or does it keep you warm or...
Sweat is a big thing. Yes.
And also, yeah... -Just wipe the shorts.
You can just wipe your hands off.
Just wipe? [ Laughs ]
So with the jerseys, of course, and the shorts --
those are all important elements.
But, to me, the most important thing to me about a uniform
is it's instantly recognizable.
So let's take a look at some of the guys'
most eye-catching looks from over the years to see
if anything strikes our fancy.
Whoa!
[ Laughing ]
Man: You're about to wrestle, bitch!
Get away from me! Get away from me!
You -- you -- -Get him!
[ Laughing ]
[ Bells jingling ]
Bust a move, buddy!
This is not what ring girls wear.
Joe: Do a little hump!
-Oh! -His leg!
Genie does as you wish!
[ Laughter ]
[ Bleep ]
Am I Dracula?!
-Oh, my God. -[ Laughing ] Yes!
Pop that real quick? Pop that, honey?
[ Laughter ]
Sal: It's grotesque!
[ Laughter ]
Joey: That was great.
I mean, there's a lot of different costumes,
but, man, what was it?
Q?
I loved his -- his outfit as, uh, Peter Pan.
That could be a good one. We could maybe have that.
-Can't forget the bumblebee. -Bumblebee's a good one, too.
That was hilarious.
Uh, another one which I thought was really classy is
when Murr actually had his little shorts as the cowboy,
when he went and did the stripper dance.
That's good taste.
For the Jokers, that's gonna be fun to wear.
And it's light, no shirt, shorts.
Shirts and skins, I like it.
So Murr's cowboy outfit from his thunder from down under.
Done! Next on the docket is the home court.
That's right.
Of course, we need a place for the Jokers to play.
I definitely want to start by nominating the supermarket,
because you know what?
Most supermarket challenges are slam dunks.
Let's take a look.
Murr: Oh, my God! It's insane!
This guy -- he's trying to get out!
Ooh, ooh.
[ Shouting, laughing ]
Where the [bleep] did they put the macaroni?
[ Laughter ]
Parkour!
Oh, shit! Whoo. Whoa.
Say magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
It's Larry! Asparagus!
Lady! Larry!
[ Laughter ]
Q: Do it, Sal. Do it. You'll be my hero.
[ Dings ]
[ Shouting, cheering ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Laughter ]
All right, so that was the supermarket.
Mo, what place do you think they should be playing?
I was actually thinking the park.
You know, if you think about just how long the show's
been and how many, you know, appearances they did
at the park... -Right.
I mean, it's been there since Season 1.
Yeah, it's definitely been a staple,
so let's take a look at some clips of the park.
Let's do this, bitches.
[ Laughter ]
Sir, you volunteer for anything in the city?
You do? What kind of things do you volunteer for?
-Now. -Oh, my God, sorry.
[ Laughing ] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-No, no! -So sorry about -- so sorry.
Q: There he goes. There he goes.
Murr: That's contact. He's got contact!
Boom! Oh, yeah!
[ Laughter ]
Let me trim these for ya real quick.
Okay, here's one.
[ Laughter ]
Toe touch!
Here you go, man.
-Wow, this is crazy. -I know. It's nuts. Take it.
There you go. Sweet.
Oh, my God! He gave him the fish!
Beverages, refreshments, all that stuff,
and there is none of it right now!
Now!
[ Laughter ]
For one second, can I kiss your abs?
[ Smooches ]
That ends the story of you and I.
[ Laughter ]
I mean, how can you not smile every time
you see clips like that?
Oh, what's a -- what's another good place?
We have the supermarket, we got the park.
The waiting room. The waiting room.
See, I didn't think about that at first.
That is a good one because a lot of things
do happen in that waiting room.
-Yeah, for sure. -Oh, yeah.
How are you? Great. Thank you.
And do me a favor.
Just stand there between the plant and the wall.
Thank you.
[ Laughter ]
I'm sorry. I meant the other side of the plant.
Between the chair and the plant, yes.
Thank you.
[ Laughter ]
I've been waiting until he got up.
[ Inhales deeply ]
"Velcome."
-You're here for an appointment? -Yes.
Ah, right. Prince's brother.
Q: [ Laughing ] Oh!
Uh, let me have you fill this out, if that's okay.
[ Laughter ]
Dusty Shidiz?
-Goose Boils? -Mother Coconuts?
-Darcy O'Queef? -Disfatt Bidge.
-Enya Mouthhole? -Cranjis McBasketball?
I know. I know. I know.
Do I have any food allergies?
Peanuts. And Deez Nuts?
[ Laughs ]
[ Screams ]
-Oh, my God. -It's yogurt.
It's an odd choice to eat of your fly.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
Excuse me one second, guys.
What the [bleep]?
Yeah, we got a "What the [bleep]!"
[ Laughter ]
All right, so we got -- we got -- we got some options here.
We got the supermarket, we got the park,
and we got the waiting room.
What are you guys thinking?
-I'm thinking waiting room now. -Yeah?
Because if you think, like, in the NBA,
you think tough places to play, and it's a tough place to --
to -- to act out. -To maneuver, right.
'Cause close quarters, so I'm -- I'm --
I'm thinking waiting room.
-No, for sure, waiting room. -Really?
-Yeah. -Waiting room it is, people.
I like it. I like it.
All right, our fantasy team is really shaping up,
but we got to take a quick break.
Do not go anywhere, all right?
So Mo, what size is your shoe?
It's just 16.
Oh, just a 16?
Just a 16.
Yeah, I'm not going into the pool, guys. I'll take the loss.
I know that you don't want to go in the pool.
Trust me. -Guys, I will take the loss.
Murr: Just 10 steps forward.
You're -- you're fine.
Just take one more baby step near the pool.
[ Laughter ]
[ Classical music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
Sal: Look at his mouth.
It looks like he [bleep] a Smurf.
[ Laughter ]
...use the water.
Oh, that's cold.
I gots to chill the chafe!
Cannonball!
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God. I'm hydrated.
I'm gonna pass out.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome back to the "Impractical Jokers" fantasy draft.
We've been putting together our very own
"Impractical Jokers" team with Magic stars
Mo Bamba and Terrence Ross.
So let's see what we've got so far, all right?
We picked our team name, uniforms, and home court.
Now let's move on to cheer.
When you guys are up there,
whether it be a free throw line or something like that,
is there something they chant for you guys
or chant for you that they go like, "Mo, Mo, Mo"
or something?
Is there something that they do?
Uh, not for me, specifically, but one thing that I do like
and, hopefully, I get to that level some day, is a MVP chair.
It's a classic.
I've had that chance once,
but I was having a really good game, but other than that, no.
It was good that one night.
So for the cheer, we'll be picking
from some memorable lines from "IJ" history.
Lucky for us, there is no shortage of options.
Take a look.
All right. Surf's up, asshat.
Surf's up, asshats.
Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!
All: Wah! Wah! Wah!
Let's get sexy!
[ Clapping ]
Wash it after!
Joey Gatto!
Braised beef is brilliant.
[ Laughter ]
Braised beef is brilliant.
What? Oh, hell, no.
Hold up.
Huh? Oh, okay.
Gunk out.
[ Laughter ]
-Here you go, buddy. -Gunk out! You did it.
Gunk out!
Like a boss.
Both: "Like...a...baawwws!"
Like a baawwws!
Tax that ass! Tax that ass! Tax that ass!
Approved!
Ba-boom!
Toot toot, mother[bleep]! Toot toot, mother[bleep]!
[ Laughter ]
All right, so, uh, we all wrote down our lovely cheer.
What I picked was...
"suck it!"
[ Laughs ]
How about you guys?
We picked the exact same thing.
There you go! It is unanimous, people.
For the Fatbellies, we are going with...
All: Suck it!
Moving on. Team mascot.
What do you guys think makes a good mascot?
Because, for me, I know it's the energy, it's the vibe.
Yes, it just embodies the team, man, the team spirit.
He has to be the one that brings it.
All right, well, let's take a look at some
of the most recognizable characters
from the Jokerverse to get a sense of our options.
All right, why don't we get the show started, huh?
[ Laughter ]
Q: Look at this! Look at this!
[Bleep] is that?
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, my God.
What the [bleep]?!
[ Laughter ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Laughing ]
-Chug, chug! -Sloppy Joe!
[ Screams ]
Oh, come on, man! This is horrible.
Please just go to bed.
I'm gonna have you bend over.
-Oh, God. -Deep breaths.
-You mother[bleep]. -Deep breath. Deep breath.
Finger in your ass[bleep]!
I'm gonna check in the middle.
The test results are in. Your asshole is fine.
Oh, great. I'll come upstairs in a little bit.
Sal: We're gonna leave you with a companion.
Hey, trying to sleep here, pal.
Pepe, no! Pepe, no!
Oh, he already started pooping.
Today, we're in the park with all the Gatto pups.
No, no, no, no, no.
[ Yawns ]
You delivered it to this -- you know --
Is that Gary Busey?!
Oh, my God!
Have you ever been hit in the face with a bunch of cookies?
I'm not kidding. Back up!
He's gone rogue! Get out of there! He's gone rogue!
[ Laughter ]
Which -- which mascot do you like?
Which character you like?
It's between Benjamin the Cat and Gary Busey.
Gary Busey would be a very good mascot.
But I do like the idea of the cat, though.
-Oh, yeah. -Yeah.
He's actually a mascot. He looks like a mascot.
-Yeah, yeah. -He's a cat.
It actually fits well.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
You know what? Benjamin Cat it is for the mascot.
No buts about it.
Let's take a quick commercial break,
and we'll be right back with more "Impractical Jokers"
fantasy draft right after this.
Make some noise, sons of bitches!
Who wants some love?! Who wants it?!
Sweet peppers.
-Sweet peppers. -Sweet peppers!
He's really making a sandwich now!
Now we're making a sandwich!
Interference!
[ Crowd chants "interference" ] What are you talking about?!
-Joey! Joey! Ooh! -Yeah! Yeah!
I hate boxing! Yeah!
Oil and vinegar -- just a little bit.
[ Both screaming ]
Oil and vinegar!
You suck. Gutter ball.
You suck.
Your mother's a [bleep] whore.
[ Laughter ]
What else would you like, sir?
Cucumbers, please. Both: Cucumbers!
[ Laughter ]
[ Crowd cheering ]
Yes! Yes!
[ Cheering ]
Who wants a stained sock?!
Both: Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome back.
I'm here in Orlando's Graffiti Junktion
with Orlando Magic players Mo Bamba and Terrence Ross,
and we're putting together the brand-new,
officially licensed "Impractical Jokers" team,
the Fatbellies.
All: Suck it!
[ Laughter ]
And we only have a few categories left.
Next up, we need to decide on our team captain
for the Fatbellies.
Now this is a tough one, guys, I know because
what kind of qualifications and qualities
do you look for in a captain?
I don't know. You just got to have that -- that stamp.
-Fearless. -Yeah.
-Fearless? -Yeah.
Why fearless?
This is not the type of show
you can have fear on and do well,
so you need to be fearless for this.
True. True. Well, let's get started.
I nominate Q.
Mostly because he lets me fill in for him,
which is really nice sometimes.
So thank you very much, Q.
Of course, I got to nominate him.
But also because he is a creative thinker.
He doesn't take the most obvious path to victory.
Let's take a look.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. -It's genius.
Except too bad we're in a concrete park
in the middle of Brooklyn.
-Q. -You mean you've never heard
of "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn"?
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
You can just talk into the bush. It's fine.
Oh, yeah? Oh, no. No, stay away. Stay away.
It's okay, I'm recording it for uh...
Joe: "'Cause I believe there's a ghost in you.
And the only way to tell is through audio."
I believe that there's a ghost inside of you.
and the only way to tell is through audio.
So just go ahead. -No, no. I don't have any ghosts in me.
That's exactly what the ghost would say.
Oh, it's funny, but --
Is it okay if I record you?
Yes. It's okay.
[ Laughter ]
Murr: I can't believe it worked on the first person.
You know, nothing says funny than a bush.
-I know. -Just a big ole green bush.
With a microphone hanging out of it, basically.
That's Q for you. But I love it, again.
That's a captain quality.
Terrence, what about you?
I like Joe.
I mean, if you got to lead the team, you got to be fearless.
-That's true. -I mean, that's a big quality.
And he's low key, a good play maker.
You think basketball, you got to have a good play maker.
You got to have a good point guard, and he's clearly that.
He can definitely change the game without a moment's notice.
He's very -- he's that talented.
Uh, I got a truck coming, actually.
Let's go throw him in the back of it?
Let's go throw Sal in the back of the truck?
Sal: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
We're all here. We're all here.
Sal.
We're here today for Sal's punishment.
That's a joke.
[ Screams ]
What the [bleep] are you doing? Are you [bleep] kidding me?
Are you kidding me? What the [bleep] are you doing?
Oh!
-Oh [bleep] -Oh, your tooth!
Is that your tooth?! Is that your tooth?!
Holy [bleep] Oh, my God!
His tooth just fell out!
Joe: Murray's tooth just fell out!
[ Laughs ]
Guys, if you're with me on this, I think the -- the --
the punishment is go out there and take a selfie!
[ Laughter ]
Come on, man! That's not right!
Nope. No, no, no, no.
-Stick 'em up. -Sal? Sal?
What are you doing?
That's the woman.
I mean, we can make an audible of this whole thing,
just to make this a punishment for Sal
and make the kids keep [bleep] up the whole day.
Oh, my -- Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
-Yeah. -Can we do that? -This kid's gold.
If he keeps messing up, it's gonna drive Sal crazy,
so let's just make it a punishment for Sal.
We make everything go wrong for the rest of Sal's turn?
Okay. We have tonight's loser.
I mean, you got to hand it to Joe.
He always switched things up.
Mo, what do you think?
So I'm gonna have to go with Sal,
just because he's easy to like.
That's a good one.
It's a good -- it's a good captain.
He's not -- he's like -- he's like everybody's kind of friend.
You can go out, have a beer with him or you can cry
and watch a sappy movie.
I think he's that kind of versatile.
True.
Come with me if you want to live.
There's not a lot of time.
Oh, you're coming?
I should mention I also --
I am independently wealthy and very promiscuous.
[ Laughs ]
Like who wears jort jorts?
#HeWearsJortJorts.
#GodBless.
[ Laughter ]
God bless.
They didn't give a report on what the person looked like.
I would say tall, dark, and handsome, so would that be you?
I'm Sal. I'm actually from this area.
I'm Valerie. Nice to meet you.
-Hey, Valerie. -Ride off into the sunset, champion.
I'll teach you everything I know, buddy.
-I can't believe it! -Wow!
Here's to a beautiful friendship.
[ Laughter ]
What about, uh, we got Murr?
Murr's another one that we kind of left out.
What do we think about Murr?
♪♪
He's cool.
-I love him. -Yeah.
You know why? He is game for anything.
That's the one thing about Murr. Murr is a team player.
He will jump in there. He will get down and dirty.
Really dirty sometimes.
-Oh, yeah. -Or he would jump out of there.
True. Anything he's afraid of he'll just keep doing it.
I can't believe he's gonna do this.
I should do it, right? I'm never gonna be able to --
I'm never gonna be able to do it again in my life.
I should do it? Yeah, right?
Oh!
[ Laughs ] Oh, God!
Oh, oh, oh!
Sal: How is this -- look at this!
Wow, he really did it. -[ Laughs ]
Ninnies on the glass. Ninnies on the glass.
New York, look at my ninnies.
They're on the glasses. I got the ninnies.
Man, you really took this and ran with it!
[ Grunts ]
Oh, there it w-- Oh, there it is.
Wow. I don't know what I just saw...
-I'm not sure -- -...but I wish I had never seen it.
Let me hold this for ya.
[ Laughs ]
What the [bleep]?!
Ugh.
Murr is that team player.
I don't know necessarily a leader.
He's a good accomplice.
I know. Very, very good accomplice.
Let's just narrow it down right now.
Would you like Sal? But Sal's like the teddy bear.
I don't think he seems like a leader.
-Mm-hmm. -True.
Q -- he's done some things. Team, group effort.
But I definitely got to say --
I don't know if you agree with me -- it's Joe.
-I do. -Got to be Joe.
All right, yeah. It's got to be Joe.
[ Cheers and applause ]
He's the captain of the Fatbellies,
so Joe is still named Captain Fatbelly.
Oh, it works out perfectly.
-It is. -Done deal. Love it.
Suck it!
We are down to the wire.
Let's take a quick break,
and when we come back, we'll actually meet our new mascot.
Do not go anywhere.
♪ Dead butterflies ♪
♪ What can be better than a dead butterfly? ♪
♪ Butterfly crime scene ♪
[ Singing in "Portuguese ]
[ Singing indistinctly ]
[ Continues singing ]
♪ Bum, bum bom ♪
♪ She's my grandma ♪
♪ And she doesn't shut her trap ♪
♪ She doesn't shut her trap ♪
♪ Shut your face, Grandma ♪
♪ Shut your [bleep] face ♪
♪ Shut your face, Grandma ♪
♪ Shut your [bleep] face ♪
Shut your face, grandma!
Woman: "When I would rescue him, package him up...
-♪ Whose phone is ringing? ♪ -♪ Mine, mine ♪
Sorry. I'm sorry.
[Bleep]
I'd like you to hear it real quick,
and you can just give me some honest feedback on it.
Okay.
[ Heavy metal music plays ]
♪ Death, destruction, diarrhea ♪
♪ North and South Korea ♪
♪ Poo-poo ♪
♪ I put my hand in your shirt ♪
♪ Hey, I put my hand in your shirt ♪
♪ I put my hand in your shirt ♪
Both: ♪ I put my hand in your shirt ♪
♪ I put my hand in your shirt ♪
I'm in a hip-hop group called, uh, Cowboyz with a "z".
-A "z"? -Yeah.
Want to hear one of our raps?
You -- I -- you know I do.
This one's called... "Wee Doggy".
Q: Get into it. Own it.
[ Rapping ] ♪ We doggies, don't you know? ♪
[ Laughter ]
That's it. I only have the first line.
[ Basketball bounces ]
Welcome back to "Impractical Jokers" fantasy draft.
You guys feeling good?
Both: Doing pretty great.
I love it because you know what?
Our fantasy franchise is really taking shape,
and now, one final item to make it complete --
sponsorships.
Now you can't be a professional team
without an official sponsor,
so let's take a look at some of the brands
that are interested in sponsoring the Fatbellies.
I'm excited to show you the product -- brick-flops.
They're flip-flops with bricks attached on the bottom.
All the rage is the exercise shoe.
When you work out with these, it focuses on the Achilles' tendon.
[ Laughs ]
Crotch watch.
This is worn outside the pants, just so you're clear.
If you're running and you get tired...
[ Breathes heavily ] Read my e-mail.
Respond to Sandra.
Q: Jalapeño milk. This is farm to table.
Do you like milk? -Yes.
-Do you like spicy food? -I do.
Well, I've already sold one.
[ Laughter ]
The 47 Hour Energy Bar.
Finally. Are you like me?
Do you find yourself getting dreary and weary
at the 46th hour?
It's a yo-yo-yo-yo.
We've taken a yo-yo, we've yo'd it up on the other side.
I mean, there's not much to it, guys.
It's two yo-yos. I don't know what to --
[ Laughs ]
Waterproof bread.
Check out how this works.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
This is a demo model, of course.
[ Laughter ]
I'm going to start off the bat. I'm thinking crotch watch.
You tell the time, and you tell people to suck it.
-Good sponsorship, right? -That is pretty good, but think about this.
Brick-flops.
Then you can get your calf muscles
so you can jump like T-Ross here.
True. That's right. True, true, true.
I don't know, man. I think -- uh, jalapeño milk.
You know what? I like jalapeño milk.
That's actually not a bad idea.
I don't know about that one.
Really?
Yeah, I'm -- I -- I really like the brick-flops.
More the bricks. Brick-flops. Brick-flops.
-I like the brick-flops. -All right.
Uh, let's vote. Jalapeño milk?
Brick-flops? You got voted out.
Sorry, Mo. -That's cool. That's cool.
[ Crowd cheering ]
Well, that's it. Jalapeño milk it is.
Have you guys ever tried jalapeño milk?
I think I'm good.
I have.
You have?
When?
And that completes our fantasy "Impractical Jokers" team --
the Fatbellies!
Thank you so much for joining -- hey!
Hey, guys! -Hey!
It's Benjamin Cat with the actual costume,
the outfit that he has with the gun with the jalapeño milk.
Can you believe this stuff?
What?
With that, you guys, thank you so much, Terrence.
Thank you, Mo, for being out here.
We appreciate it. We'll see y'all next time!
Have a good one, guys! See ya!
Whoo. Thank you so much.
-Thank you. -No problem.
I feel really tall.