1 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,849 [ Laughter ] 2 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,419 [ Screams ] 3 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,055 Let's just get this started. 4 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,690 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 5 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,358 Who's a good cat? 6 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,926 [ Laughter ] 7 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,396 [ Cymbals clash ] 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,833 [ Laughter ] 9 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,102 Today, we're posing as trainees 10 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,804 at Playa Bowls in Bayonne. 11 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,506 While learning the job, we'll have to do 12 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,307 and say whatever the other guys tell us to. 13 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,009 At the end of the training session, 14 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,078 we'll ask the trainer to rank us on a scale from 1 to 10. 15 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,814 Whoever gets the lowest ranking loses. 16 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,785 Sal: Come on out, Murr. 17 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,254 [ Laughter ] 18 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,488 Q: Come on. 19 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,623 This is not the accounting department, buddy. 20 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,858 You're actually just in the trenches. 21 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,694 He thought he was being hired by corporate. 22 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,730 How are you? Hi. I'm Claudia James. 23 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,265 Claudia James. Yes. Nice to meet you. 24 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,000 I'm slightly embarrassed. 25 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,935 I thought I had gotten hired to, 26 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,638 like, work in a corporate office for Playa Bowls. 27 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:16,742 I feel a little embarrassed. Everybody has T-shirts on. 28 00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:19,311 Is that okay? 29 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,512 Put it on right over it. 30 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,481 I'll just put it right over. It's fine. 31 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,017 Yeah, it's totally fine. It doesn't matter. 32 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,419 This suit jacket is under. The jacket is great. 33 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,988 So how does how does Playa Bowls work? 34 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,458 So our founders used to go surfing in like 35 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,992 Nicaragua and like all those... 36 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,561 They surfed in Nicaragua? 37 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,496 They surfed in Nicaragua? 38 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,964 Yeah. Wow. 39 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:43,302 There's something about his face, body, personality. 40 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,837 Like you could tell him to say anything, 41 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,172 and it makes me laugh. 42 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,507 It's just I haven't worked 43 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,876 a counter job since I was a child. 44 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,411 As a child in Nicaragua. 45 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,246 As a child in Nicaragua. 46 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,981 You've been to Nicaragua? 47 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,783 I have. Have you been? No. 48 00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:58,951 Oh, my gosh, you have to go. 49 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:02,221 I try to get back to "Ragua" anytime. 50 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,224 You know, I try to get back to Ragua any chance I can get. 51 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,859 You have to go. 52 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:07,893 It's what they call it for short? 53 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,728 Yeah. Ragua, Gua. 54 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,164 Ragua. Gua. 55 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,565 You can cut the word in many ways. 56 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,867 [ Laughter ] 57 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,405 I thought you were in charge. 58 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,040 I thought you were in charge. 59 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,575 It's not my shop, so... 60 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,712 Yeah, but she comes barging in in the middle of our training. 61 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,414 She runs this place? 62 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,484 Excuse me. We're training. Excuse me. We're training. 63 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,853 We're training. 64 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,922 It's okay. 65 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,924 Sal: I just want to be excellent. 66 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,293 You know what it is? I yearn to be excellent. 67 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,528 [ Phone ringing ] 68 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,729 Q: Can somebody get that phone? 69 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,564 Can somebody get the phone? 70 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,633 [ Laughter ] 71 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,203 Well, just because you're the boss doesn't mean 72 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,971 you can't be told to go scratch every once in a while. 73 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,540 You know, just because you're the boss, 74 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,308 though, doesn't mean you can't be told 75 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,010 to go scratch every once in a while, you know? 76 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,345 Mm, but maybe not with those words. 77 00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:04,016 Maybe. But maybe. Maybe you use those words. 78 00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,484 No, don't say that. Maybe we do that, though. 79 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,085 Yeah, maybe. 80 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,754 Maybe we do that. 81 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,990 [ Laughter ] 82 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,326 When you're from the Gua, you call it straight. 83 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:17,329 When you're from the Gua, you call it straight. 84 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,131 I swallowed a pineapple whole. 85 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,899 I swallowed a pineapple whole. 86 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,368 [ Laughter ] 87 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,339 You seem insane. 88 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,374 Murr, just ask her how you're doing so far. 89 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,109 On a scale of 1 to 10, 90 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,312 how do you think I'm doing so far as an employee? 91 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,647 6.5. 6.5? Okay. 92 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,050 That is so much better than he deserves. 93 00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,151 Yeah. 94 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,088 They should hire us for a national ad campaign. 95 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,223 Yeah, it should be me. 96 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,691 It wouldn't be you. 97 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,359 I'm the healthiest looking one. 98 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,294 You could Frankenstein a perfect 99 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,730 spokesperson from us. 100 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,365 It'd be Sal's hair. 101 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,934 Your body, my dick. We're ready to go. 102 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,970 [ Laughter ] 103 00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,905 Okay. All right. All right, Q-bert. 104 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,507 And your name is Morgan? Morgan. 105 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,109 I want to thank you for not making it weird. 106 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,510 I want to thank you for not making it weird. 107 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,112 No. Of course. 108 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,347 It's just crazy that they have you training 109 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,548 your replacement. 110 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,882 It's just crazy that they have you training 111 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,517 your replacement, it's odd. 112 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,253 Oh. Oh, forget I said anything. 113 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,521 Forget it. I must have misunderstood something. 114 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,723 [ Laughter ] 115 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:18,991 So you can get your gloves on. 116 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,592 Okay. I got this. 117 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:21,760 Is your hand still wet? 118 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,061 It doesn't feel like it. 119 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,199 What do you mean? 120 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,534 So if I touch my own clothes, I got to wash my hands? 121 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,271 You can't touch your face, you can't touch your hair, nothing. 122 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,772 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 123 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,976 Alright, touch your beard and say, "Okay, now let's do this." 124 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:42,814 All right. Okay. So what are we doing? 125 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,683 You just touched your face. 126 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,485 What do you mean? No. I saw it. 127 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,521 I didn't touch my face. What are you talking about? 128 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,689 Murr: Go wash your hands again. 129 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,457 Oh, my God. 130 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,192 Then come back and put your hands through your hair. 131 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,695 Okay. 132 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,497 Let's do it. Let's...All right. 133 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:01,633 Okay. Here we go. Okay. All right, here we go. 134 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,935 Um... 135 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,339 I hate to tell you this. 136 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,374 No, no, no, no, no. 137 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,311 Oh. Have you had the mango globo? 138 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,179 Have you had the 139 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,580 mango globo by any chance? 140 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,015 I personally don't like mango. 141 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,550 You don't like mango? 142 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,018 I think the mango global [bleep] 143 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,289 Morgan: Now that you work here, you can have it. 144 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,391 You don't think the mango global [bleep] 145 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,028 It [bleep] so good. 146 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,731 [ Laughter ] 147 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,466 Murr: You ever wish you were a fruit? 148 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,302 You ever wish you were a fruit? 149 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,503 No. No. 150 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,172 Sometimes I wish I was a mango. 151 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,473 Why a mango? 152 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,141 'Cause it [bleep] 153 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,010 'Cause it [bleep] 154 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,144 [ Laughter ] 155 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,346 Dude, you want to get a score from her? 156 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,680 Like, how would you say I'm doing on a scale 157 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,182 of 1 to 10 so far? 158 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:52,551 I'll give you... I'll give you a six. 159 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,219 What?! Oh [bleep] 160 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,821 Come on! Deal. 161 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:56,955 No. Oh. 162 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,724 Elbow. Yeah! 163 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,127 Sorry. Was it Malachi? Malachi. 164 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,096 Nice to meet you. Okay. 165 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,764 Sal, just so you know, like you are getting married tonight. 166 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,100 Do you know what time we would wrap up this shift? 167 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,501 Because I'm getting married tonight. 168 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,269 You're getting married tonight? 169 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,704 Yeah, I just wanted to squeeze in 170 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,440 the Playa Bowls training pre-wedding. 171 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,777 Usually training's like five, four hours. 172 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,946 I might miss the cocktail hour. 173 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,382 Oh. So I might miss the cocktail... 174 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,516 [ Laughs ] 175 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,585 [ Laughter ] 176 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,720 This is the cocoa craze, right? 177 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,589 Okay. So this is the cocoa craze. 178 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:31,690 Yeah, this is the coconut. 179 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,025 This is so hard. 180 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,961 This is so hard. 181 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,130 [ Laughter ] 182 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,499 Q: That's your go to every time you get overwhelmed. 183 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,535 Oh, you're weighing it? Wait. 184 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,270 There's granola in there, and you're weighing it. 185 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,371 And it still says zero? 186 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:47,472 Yeah, 'cause you turn it off first. 187 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,607 Okay. 188 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,709 This is confusing. 189 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,281 Put a period between the words. 190 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,652 If you're off a little, you take some back out. 191 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:01,820 Yeah, take some out. 192 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,393 Catchphrase, yeah. 193 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,195 Invite him to the wedding, Sal. 194 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,596 And then also, like, 195 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,964 obviously, I want you to come to my wedding. 196 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,834 I obviously want you to come to my wedding 197 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,002 if we're going to spend this whole shift. 198 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,304 I mean, I appreciate the offer, but... 199 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,406 If you don't have plans, I could use a... 200 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:22,474 Groomsman? 201 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,675 Best man. 202 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,011 [ Sighs ] Well... 203 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,846 [ Laughter ] 204 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,802 Sal: If you don't have plans, I could use a... 205 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,037 Groomsman? 206 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,138 Murr: Best man. 207 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,640 A groomsman, a best man. 208 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,676 You don't have a groomsman? 209 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:58,844 Well, if we're gonna spend the whole shift together, 210 00:07:58,946 --> 00:07:59,945 I'm just saying. 211 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,683 Okay, so let's do this. 212 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,485 [ Laughter ] 213 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,720 Is it okay to touch the customers? 214 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,590 Under what circumstances can we touch customers? 215 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,758 Not at all. Not at all? 216 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,827 So there's not a circumstance where I can touch them? 217 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,262 I mean... 218 00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,530 I'll tell you right now, Malachi. 219 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,731 I'm gonna touch 'em. 220 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,899 I just feel like 221 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:21,967 I'll tell you right now... 222 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,101 What? 223 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,536 ...I'm gonna touch 'em. 224 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,671 [ Laughter ] 225 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,308 I'm gonna touch 'em, the customers. 226 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,776 I'm gonna touch 'em. 227 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,146 I mean... 228 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,148 [ Laughter ] 229 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,384 Sorry. I'm just nervous. I'm getting married tonight. 230 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,019 Yeah, I understand. 231 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,054 No, I saved myself for marriage. 232 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,456 And tonight's the night. 233 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,491 I save myself. Huh? 234 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,859 I saved myself for marriage. 235 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,094 Oh. So tonight is it. 236 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,362 Oh, this is it? Yeah. 237 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,268 Well... 238 00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,471 You know, 'cause tonight... 239 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,339 [ Laughter ] 240 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,482 [ Laughter ] 241 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,686 Can I ask you a question? Yeah. 242 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,522 If you had to rate me, like, 1 to 10, 243 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,590 how I performed? 244 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,292 Like 3. 245 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,626 A 3?! 246 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,895 Oh! Suck me [bleep] 247 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,530 I'll miss the cocktail hour, 248 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,299 but I should be [bleep] my wife by about 11:30. 249 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,134 [ Ding! ] 250 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,938 Narrator: Looks like Sal just picked up another shift 251 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,140 on the loser board. 252 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,875 Today we're at Olly Olly, 253 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,444 giving out cards for our weird businesses, 254 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,546 which of course have been created by the other guys. 255 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,948 After handing them our business card, 256 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,716 we'll have to convince them why they'd benefit 257 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,351 from whatever service it is that we offer. 258 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,219 If you can't get someone 259 00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:50,522 to keep your business card, you lose! 260 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,963 Murr: All right, Q, go for this guy in the green hat. Okay? 261 00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,898 They tell you you're enjoying drinks, 262 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,266 but they ain't open yet. 263 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,867 I came in for a beer. They're not even open yet. 264 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,270 Yeah, I know. I'm Tony, by the way. 265 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,972 Nice to meet you guys. 266 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,573 But yeah, here's actually my card. 267 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:09,874 Uh... 268 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,778 Professional rascal, my friends. 269 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,680 [ Laughter ] 270 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,583 Well, let me ask you. 271 00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,418 Do you have a need for a rascal in your life? 272 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,886 Oh. You don't? No? No need at all? 273 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,856 Really? Because sometimes, like, guys go to, like, Atlantic City, 274 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,825 they're like, "Ah, we're all a little boring. 275 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,661 Let's get a professional rascal in here to mix things up." 276 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,329 I'm the straw that stirs the drink. 277 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,597 You know what I'm saying? 278 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,199 Yeah. And I do it professionally. 279 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,900 [ Laughter ] 280 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,802 You know, the Obamas almost at a show on me. 281 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,338 Yeah. 282 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,406 A little too controversial? 283 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,108 I did take the rascling a little too far 284 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,876 in a government situation, 285 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,045 and the Secret Service didn't like it so much. 286 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,147 But I said, "Hey, you hire rascal, get a rascal, 287 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,248 you know what I'm saying?" 288 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,784 So the Obama deal fell through. 289 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,954 [ Laughter ] 290 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,790 You two look like you need my services. 291 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,425 You guys are so laid back. 292 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,693 You guys look like you need a rascal. 293 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,596 Really? 294 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,297 I think this guy is sewed into the couch. 295 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,266 Bro, are you sewed into the couch? 296 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,601 You got to get up. You got a rascal... 297 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,735 There we go. 298 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,970 No, no, no, no. 299 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,705 I work very hard, and I have a cold. 300 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:14,939 Oh. What do you guys do? 301 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,007 Horticulture. 302 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,342 Oh, my God, that's so amazing. 303 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,210 I'm a whore for culture, too. 304 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,545 But I always say I'm a whore for culture, too. 305 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,147 So I get it. 306 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,448 That's the sort of rascally stuff 307 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,750 that you're going to get from me all night, see? 308 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,285 [ Laughter ] 309 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,653 You want to take the card just in case? 310 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,988 He will. 311 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,456 Oh! 312 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,857 Hey! All right. 313 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,059 Murr: Good job, Q. 314 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,260 I can tell we're gonna have some fun. 315 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,594 Good luck. 316 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:37,862 Good luck for the horticulture, guys. 317 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,164 Talk to you guys later. 318 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,202 [ Laughter ] 319 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,837 [ Ding! ] 320 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,209 Excuse me, sir. I saw you from across the bar. 321 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,411 I'm a businessman. I own a business. 322 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,915 I'm a businessman, I do business, I own a business. 323 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,917 And I thought it might be helpful to you. 324 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,952 I pay cash for mole. 325 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,888 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 326 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,725 You know, some people pay cash for houses or for cars. 327 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,593 I pay cash for mole. 328 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,930 Do you have any you think would be useful? 329 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:12,964 What is mole? 330 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,265 A mole, a mole, a mole. 331 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,201 You know, like a mole. 332 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:17,302 Like a mole. It's like a mole. 333 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,903 Say it three times fast. He'll get it. 334 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,206 Like a mole, mole, mole. Like you say it three times fast. 335 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,607 You'll get it. Like a mole, mole. 336 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:26,144 Like a mole. Like a mole, you know a mole. Like a mole. 337 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,246 It's a mole. I pay cash for mole. 338 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,481 You got a mole, I pay cash. 339 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,749 Sure. 340 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,816 I'll pay you cash right now if you got the mole. 341 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,552 Why do you get cash for moles? 342 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,287 Well, that's my business, not yours. 343 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,556 Okay. No. Sure. Yeah, that's my business. 344 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,691 And I'm very successful. 345 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,026 I'm very successful. 346 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,762 Really? 347 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,930 Actually, something I've been meaning to, um... 348 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:49,067 I work for the city, so I just got new, like, insurance. 349 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,836 You've been meaning to get cash for mole? 350 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,605 Hold on. 351 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,440 You've been meaning to get cash for mole? 352 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,009 Not get cash for it. 353 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,077 Is this not serendipity? 354 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,246 It is. We're meant -- you'll take it. 355 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,580 All right. Great. Great. Great, great. 356 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,449 Wow! 357 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,951 Could I see, get a glimpse of the merchandise, 358 00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,720 as they say? 359 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,889 Q: Oh, ka-ching. 360 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:14,192 Ka ching, ka ching, ka ching. 361 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,127 You are gonna make us both rich. 362 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,529 [ Ding! ] 363 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,331 All right, ready, boys? 364 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,533 Murr: Oh, yeah. 365 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:22,967 Q: I couldn't be more ready. Here we go. 366 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,170 This gentlemen. 367 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,572 If you don't mind, I don't mean to interrupt you mid-bite. 368 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,308 Uh, I have a business that I thought 369 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,844 that maybe you might be interested in. 370 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:33,878 I'm a... 371 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,446 [ Laughter ] 372 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,103 I have a business you might be interested in. 373 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:04,075 I'm a...I'm a Michael Jordan impersonator and lookalike. 374 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,578 [ Laughter ] 375 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,247 I do, like, bachelor parties, 376 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,783 children's parties, athletic events. 377 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,651 Like I do like the, you know, like the... 378 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,955 I don't look like him now. 379 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,690 I don't look like him now, but I have a process that I do. 380 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,058 It's not offensive. 381 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,393 [ Laughter ] 382 00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,296 And it involves his uniform. 383 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,131 And then it also involves sneakers. 384 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,766 Um, a basketball. 385 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,635 Man: And I dunk like a mother [bleep] 386 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,170 A change in mind set. I dunk like a mother [bleep] 387 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,038 And then, also... 388 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,039 I do have a bald cap. 389 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,975 I have a bald cap. 390 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,011 You're skirting around the big issue, buddy. 391 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,379 And then there's like one more secret, 392 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,615 like, thing that I do last. 393 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,151 Yeah, he keeps skirting around. 394 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,622 If you, um... if you have any need ever. 395 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,824 He's the greatest of all time. 396 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,592 He's the GOAT, his airness, you know. 397 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,427 And I swear, 398 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,364 if I did everything, including that last step... 399 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:04,235 And I walked in here, I would be swarmed. 400 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,905 The last step is proprietary information. 401 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,708 The last step is... the last step is proprietary, what I do. 402 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:13,544 It's like a secret recipe. 403 00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,213 Just imagine... 23 herbs and spices... 404 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,215 Just imagine... ...I mix together. 405 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,951 Just imagine... Shut the [bleep] up, Murray. 406 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,020 [ Laughter ] 407 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:26,591 Just imagine the uniform, the sneakers, the ball, 408 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,727 the attitude, the tongue, and then number 23. 409 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,130 And then that last proprietary step. 410 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,332 [ Laughter ] 411 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,267 It's like the colonel's secret recipe. 412 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,069 I can't tell you what it is, 413 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,737 but I did mention -- I mentioned the bald cap. 414 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,439 The bald cap. 415 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,207 If you need anybody of this nature, 416 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,710 I'm like one of the only people that do it. 417 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:46,844 Okay. Thank you. 418 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,279 Have a wonderful day. You too. 419 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,347 It's a pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. 420 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,848 He took the card! 421 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:53,117 [ Laughter ] 422 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,520 Murr: That last tricky step. 423 00:15:55,622 --> 00:16:00,358 Just keep mentioning this vague last step that will never... 424 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,393 Thinks he knows the last step. 425 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,795 [ Ding! ] That was great. 426 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,764 Narrator: All the cards are on the table, 427 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:10,134 and Sal is tonight's big loser. 428 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,437 All right, Sal has lost. 429 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,039 We are here at Acting and Voice Studios in Brooklyn, 430 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,343 where Mr. Bong is going to be recording a new series 431 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,278 of self-defense training videos. 432 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,646 Who's Mr. Bong? Me? 433 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:22,647 You are. 434 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,715 [ Laughter ] 435 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,383 Bong! 436 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,252 Bong! That's it, that's it. 437 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,990 All right, Mr. Bong. Start your self-defense class. 438 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,491 We wrote your intro, bud. 439 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,627 Hello? I'm Eddie Bongiorno. 440 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:39,497 But those who know me well call me Mr. Bong. 441 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,567 I'm a former Navy Seal with over six years in the Teams. 442 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,070 These videos will teach you not only how to defend yourself. 443 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,472 Can I make a suggestion? 444 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:49,440 Oh, what is that? 445 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,844 Pretend you're talking to me or somebody else. 446 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,145 You're getting notes. 447 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,480 Sure. To establish. 448 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:56,681 Yeah. Think of you. 449 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,149 So it feels a little more familiar. 450 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,517 You can look at me. 451 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:00,885 Sure, sure, sure, sure. 452 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,222 To assist me first, I will bring in Marilyn. 453 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,258 I don't start fights. I finish them to death. 454 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,794 I don't start fights. I finish fights...to death. 455 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:13,564 Now notice something. Marilyn is holding a wine glass. 456 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,234 Q: That's a weapon. That's a weapon right there. 457 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,402 Sal, you want to pick up the corkscrew? 458 00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:19,103 But I need my own weapon. 459 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,139 I've already assessed this room and know 460 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:25,710 that the bartender had just opened a bottle of Chardonnay, 461 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:28,880 which means that there is a corkscrew right here. 462 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,715 So she's going to hit me here. 463 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,884 I slap this down, and I'm going bong in the eyes. 464 00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:37,622 I go bong in the neck, bong nose, bong ears, bong... 465 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,223 All the orifices. 466 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,759 And all the privates. All the orifices. 467 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:46,164 I want to stick this corkscrew into every orifice that... 468 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,465 You think she's going to take a swing back. 469 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,867 You think she's going to take a... 470 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,636 [ Laughter ] 471 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,805 I'm going to want to drive this corkscrew into, 472 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,540 at this point, if I'm being attacked with glass, 473 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,241 every orifice Marilyn has. 474 00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:00,344 So, do you think... 475 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,185 So let me just think. 476 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:08,453 I want to say what... Okay. 477 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:09,754 Do you think she's taking another punch 478 00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,022 with a corkscrew in her anus? 479 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,023 Okay. 480 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,724 [ Laughter ] 481 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,627 Do you think Marilyn will be able to take another swing at me 482 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,596 once this corkscrew is up her anus? 483 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,466 No. She has bigger problems. 484 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,367 That's all your defenseless orifices. 485 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,303 Marilyn, it's all about her anus. 486 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,205 [ Laughs ] 487 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:31,509 His only approach is putting things in people's anus. 488 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,344 That's all he can do. 489 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,513 That's your only defense. 490 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,049 It always ends up there. 491 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,818 It always ends with something up someone's anus. 492 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,753 [ Laughter ] 493 00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,388 That's the Bong method. 494 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,723 Alright, hold on. [bleep] 495 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,126 My glasses. 496 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,695 Before I light Marilyn on fire, 497 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,430 keep in mind what I want to do here. 498 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:53,998 Because there's three things I could do. 499 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,566 I know the end. I know the end. 500 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,968 I know the end. I know the end. 501 00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:58,035 I know the end. 502 00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,904 [ Laughter ] 503 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,076 Let's just say now we're in a high pressure situation, okay? 504 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,844 It's just hand to hand combat. 505 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,380 I'm going to try to slip back out of the way. 506 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,582 Now, he has a lot of areas exposed, 507 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,418 but he's expecting me to hit him from here. 508 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,920 Sal, drop to the ground. 509 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,856 What I'm going to do is spin. 510 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:23,127 I'm going to drop. I'm going to go right here. 511 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,396 I'm going to go boom, boom, bong, bong, bong, 512 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,398 bong, bong, bong, bong... 513 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,869 Now he's on his way down to Floor Town. 514 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:36,174 Now he's on his way down to Floor Town. Yeah, yeah. 515 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,142 I'm gonna keep hitting his Honey Bunches of Oats. 516 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:42,280 And now while he's here, I'll just turn over and be like, 517 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,582 bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. 518 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,885 All right, Sal, let's move on to the hospital. 519 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,821 We're going to be doing a surprise attack 520 00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:53,357 in a medical situation. 521 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,660 Sal, put the guy into the hospital bed. 522 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,162 Garrick, let's have you in the hospital bed. 523 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:01,666 And Carol's attacking. You're visiting your husband. 524 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,468 Woman: I think maybe you're visiting your husband. 525 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:05,770 Visiting my husband? Okay, great. 526 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,271 [ Laughter ] 527 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,573 Q: He stepped on a landmine. 528 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,640 He stepped on a landmine. 529 00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,008 Oh, okay. So... 530 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,376 Okay, um... 531 00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,145 Am I gonna say anything? 532 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,746 Right now, I think you're just going to be... 533 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,381 Just "I love you." 534 00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:20,117 [ Laughter ] 535 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,552 And action. 536 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,688 What's the first thing you remember before it happened? 537 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,456 Do you remember who I am? 538 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,558 Q: Do you remember our first date? 539 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,193 You don't. 540 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:33,097 So you don't remember our first...date? 541 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,665 Our first kiss. 542 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,803 Do you remember that we live together. 543 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,739 We just found a beautiful place 544 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:42,974 On Long Beach Island. 545 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,509 On Long Beach Island. 546 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,311 It's a co-op. 547 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,946 We got a favorable mortgage rate. 548 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,381 Long Beach Island, it was a co-op. 549 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,983 We got a favorable mortgage rate. 550 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,519 We signed a 15-year variable at 4.25, 551 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,289 which in today's market is insane. 552 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,258 Do you remember me kissing the nape of your neck 553 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,926 on our first date? 554 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:07,064 You don't remember our first evening together even? 555 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,566 No. Okay. 556 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:09,900 Murr: I had Merlot. 557 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,535 Tell me what you remember. 558 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,104 I nuzzled in the nape of your neck. 559 00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,672 About anything. 560 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:20,344 When the [bleep] is this assassin coming in? 561 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:24,148 Murr: Carol is still sitting there as an assassin. 562 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:28,152 Okay, you don't remember that thing I do that drives you wild? 563 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,554 Q: Send in the assassin. Murr: Cue Carol. 564 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,991 Bong! 565 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:54,979 Q: Send in the assassin. 566 00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,247 Murr: Cue Carol. 567 00:21:58,151 --> 00:21:59,450 Bong! 568 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,387 Bong! 569 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,089 Shhhhhhh. 570 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,329 So now she's discombobulated. 571 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,697 The last thing I want to do 572 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,599 is probably a full body attack, right? 573 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:18,602 Nose, nipples, nuts. That's the rhombus of death. 574 00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:22,073 So I'm gonna go bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. 575 00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,240 Rhombus of death. Rhombus of death, right? 576 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,276 You got nose, nips, nuts. 577 00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,144 [ Laughter ] 578 00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:29,447 So what happened here? Carol didn't have a weapon. 579 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:32,717 Okay? Carol, can you pick a weapon that you like over there? 580 00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:34,618 Action! 581 00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:37,455 Okay. Now I'm being... I feel a presence behind me. 582 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:41,726 Okay, so now I'm being now pulled back. 583 00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:43,594 She's got piano wire. 584 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,497 The piano wire is around my neck fairly tight. 585 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:49,600 Remember Mr. Bong's rhombus of death 586 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:53,604 is nose nips nuts or... or similar. 587 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:58,209 Right? So what I can reach for is similar. 588 00:22:58,311 --> 00:22:59,810 Goes right for Carol's nuts. 589 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,413 So I'm not getting nose. I'm not getting nips. 590 00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,048 I'm going to go right down to similar, 591 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,983 and I'm going to like start just... 592 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,921 [ Laughter ] 593 00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:14,525 All right, Sal, let's move on to the kitchenette scene, 594 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,994 and let's bring everyone in. 595 00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:20,698 And now for the greatest fear of every American -- 596 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,201 gangs, a ruthless, ruthless gang. 597 00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:27,171 Every one of them has a weapon. 598 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:29,373 Q: Let's get this started. 599 00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,841 I'm stepping. I'm side stepping. 600 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:33,711 I'm hitting the gun this way. 601 00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:36,280 Taking them from behind. 602 00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:40,851 I take this, and then bong, bong, bong. 603 00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:42,386 [ Laughter ] 604 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:47,024 He has -- I swipe back, Bong. I blow his [bleep] brains out. 605 00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:50,094 Boxing. 606 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:51,962 Bong! [bleep] Bong! 607 00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:55,666 Bong! Bong! Bong! 608 00:23:57,703 --> 00:24:00,738 Bong! Bong! Bong! 609 00:24:03,176 --> 00:24:04,508 [bleep] 610 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,010 Bong! 611 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:13,317 Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! 612 00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:18,889 Aah! 613 00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:21,425 Aah! 614 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,228 Snap his neck. 615 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,931 Aaaah! Bong! 616 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,767 [ Laughter ] 617 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:31,802 When push comes to push, 618 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:33,537 even the elderly can be a threat. 619 00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,206 Snap their neck. Bong! 620 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:37,174 Ladies, listen up. Never leave the house 621 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:38,809 without a pocket full of sand. 622 00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:40,211 Bong! Bong! 623 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,012 If you're like me, you're cool and calm. 624 00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:44,148 But also on edge 24/7! 625 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:46,517 Bong! Bong! 626 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,487 You heard about registering your hands and deadly weapons? 627 00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:52,556 Well, I looked into it. It's actually a lot of red tape. 628 00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:55,059 I could do it, but seriously, it's a lot of paperwork 629 00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:56,293 that you have to do online, 630 00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:57,828 and I'm in between computers at the moment.