1
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:07,873
[ laughter ]
2
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,577
[ screams ]
3
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,412
Let's just get this started.
4
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,014
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,016
Who's a good guy?
6
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,286
[ cymbals crash ]
7
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,892
Narrator: With special guest
paul scheer.
8
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It's very hairy.
9
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,696
[ laughter ]
10
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:33,966
Today we're at west orange
tennis club
11
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,968
Giving pickleball lessons
to seniors.
12
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,436
While out on the court,
we're gonna have to do
13
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,171
And say whatever
the other guys tell us to.
14
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,572
And if you refuse,
you lose.
15
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Aaahh!
16
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:46,979
♪♪
17
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,913
When you were standing
back here with me earlier,
18
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:51,716
Those shorts were not
that high.
19
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,252
Yeah, they were.
No, they were not.
20
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,453
Hi.
21
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,189
Hello.
I'm barbara.
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00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,923
Let's get to know each other
a little bit.
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00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,525
"here's the deal.
I used to coach kids.
24
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,327
I'd get attached,
they'd leave for college."
25
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,396
I used to -- I used to teach
pickleball to kids all the time.
26
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,665
But I'd get too attached
to the kids.
Okay.
27
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,066
They'd leave for college.
They'd grow up.
28
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,602
"but I foresee no problems
working with seniors."
29
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,405
Yeah, but [laughs]
30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,873
But, you know, for me, like,
31
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,675
I foresee
no problems with seniors.
32
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,609
Oh.
33
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,944
[ laughter ]
34
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,213
Me and you can play
pickleball forever.
35
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,148
"we could totally be
pickle pals."
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00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,818
We could be pickle pals.
Okay.
37
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:26,885
Sounds good.
38
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,753
[ laughter ]
39
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:29,888
You want to serve to me?
40
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,024
Barbara: I'll serve.
41
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,158
Unh!
42
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,626
[ laughter ]
43
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,996
Q, every ball,
hit back off the building.
44
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,834
Unh!
45
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:42,901
[ ball thuds ]
46
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,236
You hear that ding?
47
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,637
[ laughter ]
48
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,971
You're better than that,
barb.
49
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,306
We're looking
for a volley here.
50
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,675
[ laughter ]
51
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,179
Aaah!
52
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,181
Barb, why aren't you going
for them?
53
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,417
Murr: She's over it.
She's over it.
54
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,586
Aaaahhh!
55
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,455
[ ball thuds, laughter ]
56
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,057
Get it, barb.
57
00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:06,358
[ laughter ]
58
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,328
"barbara, full disclosure."
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00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,864
Barbara, full disclosure.
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00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:16,201
"I tend to get into intimate
relationship with my students."
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00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,870
I don't know if you
feel the electricity.
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00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,471
Murr: Wait, q, don't do it!
63
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,874
Oh, no. Oh, my god.
No, don't you dare do it.
64
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:23,475
Okay. They called it.
They called it. Not me.
65
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,143
It's still a winner.
Still a thumbs-up.
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00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,679
I chickened out
on my own idea.
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Aaahh!
68
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,081
[ ding! ]
69
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,082
That's a win.
70
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:35,019
You look like you're walking
out into a prison yard.
71
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,354
So here's the thing.
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00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,490
Pickleball has
a very specific set of rules.
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00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,225
I did not absorb any of it.
74
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,695
And so I'm gonna be calling
this european pickleball,
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00:02:42,697 --> 00:02:44,429
And I'm gonna tell them
to throw everything they know
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00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,964
About pickleball away
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00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,299
So I could work
within my own parameters.
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00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,701
And I'm just letting you know
that right now.
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00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:49,902
I'm taking it upon myself.
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00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,436
What do you think
this show has become --
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00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,572
You tell yourself what
to do and say, and you do it?
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00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,774
Just let me have this,
all right?
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00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,242
Murr:
Here you go, buddy.
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00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,843
Hello. How are you?
85
00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,844
Oh, what is your name?
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00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,879
Toby.
Toby.
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00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,782
I am, yeah.
Oh.
88
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,517
I'm newer.
I'm coming from overseas.
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00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,851
I was in the military.
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00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,653
Sal, you're
a drill sergeant.
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00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,054
Okay, so throw everything
you know
92
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,523
About pickleball out the window.
93
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,125
Okay.
I'm gonna teach you
european pickleball.
94
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,727
I'm gonna teach you
psychological pickleball.
95
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,262
Okay.
"tell me. I do have to ask."
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00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:20,532
I do have to ask you.
"you're not blind, right?"
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00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,735
[ laughter ]
98
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,736
Just the blue blockers,
you know?
99
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,339
You have all your vision?
Yes?
100
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,474
Yeah.
Right now, you see me?
101
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,208
Yes.
102
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,677
[ laughter ]
103
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,479
Cole, fall in line.
104
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,681
We'll also be playing
my partner, cole, here today.
105
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,951
"now, toby, I want you
to smack-talk cole."
106
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,020
But as soon as you serve to him
right now, just throw --
107
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,688
Just throw a little something --
you know,
108
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,290
"this is coming right at you
[bleep]"
109
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,091
"take this,
you piece of shit,"
110
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,761
Or, "try to return this,
you [bleep]"
111
00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:51,229
Just shout out something,
like, to that nature.
112
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,697
Q: Look at cole.
He's ready.
113
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,366
Cole's
never been more ready.
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00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,367
Just...
115
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,971
Yeah, you can say it out
loud or in your head.
Yeah.
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00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:01,173
Cole, just be like,
"we playing today?"
117
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:03,241
We playing today?
Or what's going on?
118
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,978
Hold up, hold up.
Hold up, hold up. Hold up.
119
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:09,114
So you could say,
"look out, you [bleep]
120
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,249
You dirty dirtbag.
You son of a bitch." [bleep]
that's not me.
121
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,985
Surprise serve it to her now.
"suck it!"
122
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,919
Get ready --
suck it!
123
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:15,788
[ laughter ]
124
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,591
You scared?
125
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:21,660
Murr:
I can't believe he said it!
126
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:22,661
Too hard?
127
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,930
No, the words.
The yelling.
128
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,932
"I didn't know
you would say it, cole."
129
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:28,801
You got to get him back.
130
00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:30,202
I'm like...
131
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:32,137
[ laughter ]
132
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,675
Q: Look at sal
covering his face.
133
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,676
You have a...
134
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,411
You're
a massage therapist,
135
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,414
So you have -- actually,
you have a gentle touch.
136
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,882
Just say "good luck."
"good luck with this."
137
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:44,949
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
138
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,018
Good luck with this.
139
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,952
Go "massage this, bitch!"
140
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,088
Massage this, bitch!
141
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,357
[ laughter ]
142
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,095
He has no right
calling you that.
143
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,296
That's how you taught me
to play.
144
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,365
No, I know, but he's trying
to get into your head.
145
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,566
All right, toby.
146
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,235
"return this,
you blind blonde [bleep]"
147
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:04,302
Give him hell.
148
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,904
Blind blond [bleep]
149
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,473
[ laughter ]
150
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,110
I can't play like that.
151
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,378
You're not playing me
right now.
152
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,047
"sorry, lieutenant."
sorry, lieutenant.
153
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:16,448
Please fall in line, sir.
Sorry.
154
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,383
[ laughter ]
155
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,451
Okay.
156
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,119
Go over-the-top wrong.
157
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,455
God doesn't love you,
you [bleep] bag.
158
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:26,124
You fat, stupid [bleep]
159
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,592
You losing
piece of [bleep]
160
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,327
Cole, call him
a stinky nutsack.
161
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,729
Stinky nutsack.
162
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,197
Oh, my god.
163
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,198
[ laughter ]
164
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,967
[ ding! ]
murr: He did it.
165
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,670
Q: There you go.
166
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,072
Hi. What's your name?
Lisa.
167
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:41,874
Hi, lisa. Pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
168
00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:44,008
I'm gonna hit a couple opposite
you, okay? One second.
169
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,478
"the safe word
for today is 'mommy.'"
170
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,612
Oh, and, lisa, remember --
171
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,481
The safe word for today
is "mommy."
172
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,815
Okay.
173
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,017
[ laughter ]
174
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,953
Murr, you are not
gonna believe
175
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,956
How similar you guys are.
176
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,559
Start asking
her questions.
177
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,560
You married?
178
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,562
I am.
Sal: "ah, me too."
179
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,698
Me too. How many years?
180
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,566
About seven.
"me too."
181
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,768
Me too.
182
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,636
You're slowly assuming
her identity.
183
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:12,771
You're becoming her.
184
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,640
With every volley,
you become 5% more lisa.
185
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,509
What -- what do you do
for a living, lisa?
186
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,911
I'm actually
in between jobs.
187
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:20,178
I'm actually moving.
Me too.
188
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,446
Oh, where are you
moving to?
189
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,781
Oh, no, no.
I'm in between...
190
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,182
Oh, you're in between jobs.
Yeah. Yeah.
191
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,050
Where are you moving to?
We're moving to naples.
192
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,052
Oh, my god.
That's where I would move, too.
193
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,655
[ laughter ]
194
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,856
You have kids?
195
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,458
I do.
I have two teenagers.
196
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,659
Me too.
197
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,194
Sal:
"natural or c-section?"
198
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,731
We-- [ laughs ]
199
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:40,865
[ laughter ]
200
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,668
That's okay. It was meant
for you not to say it.
201
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,403
[ laughter ]
202
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,205
Q: He can't get it out.
Look at him.
203
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,406
Here we go.
204
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:51,476
Murr, we'll let you keep going.
Turn's not over yet!
205
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,678
Cole, just walk over and say,
"james, I'm so sorry,
206
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,014
But your wife has been
in a car accident."
207
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,951
James, I'm so sorry. Your wife
has been in a car accident.
208
00:06:58,953 --> 00:07:01,019
Oh, no.
Sal: Murr, you do not care.
209
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,420
Pickleball
is all that matters.
210
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,623
But she knows I'm in
a pickleball lesson. Right?
211
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,690
I don't know.
212
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,626
Go.
213
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,761
Cole,
just find somebody else.
214
00:07:08,763 --> 00:07:10,162
It's probably a fender bender.
She's fine.
215
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:11,363
I'm in the middle
of a lesson.
216
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:13,298
Okay, lisa.
Here we go. Chop-chop.
217
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,634
[ laughter ]
218
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,436
They're admitting her
to the hospital.
219
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,972
"did you tell her I was
in the middle of a lesson?"
220
00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:21,840
Did you tell her
about the lesson I'm in, though?
221
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,042
Yeah, but she's going
to the hospital.
222
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,178
No, lisa. Come on.
No, I can't do that.
223
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,113
No, it's okay.
No, no, no, no, no!
224
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,315
Murr, you're gonna lose
if she leaves.
225
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,318
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
226
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,521
Lisa, it's a good game
we got on.
227
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,790
James, I'm so sorry.
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
228
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,192
Your wife
has been in a car accident.
229
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,528
No, lisa. Come on.
No, I can't do that.
230
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,530
No, it's okay.
No, no, no, no, no!
231
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,732
Q: Murr, you're gonna lose
if she leaves.
232
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,600
Lisa, come back.
We're in the middle...
233
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,069
My wife's gonna be fine,
lisa!
234
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,804
[ laughter ]
235
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,006
She's a bad driver.
It's on her.
236
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,143
Murr, you done messed up.
Hit the music!
237
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,813
[ horn honking ]
oh [bleep] come on!
238
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,682
-Move it.
-Oh, it's murray's stepdad.
239
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,418
Sal: Back from last season!
240
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,421
My wife's in the hospital.
I got to go, stepdad.
241
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,557
[ laughter ]
come on, bring it in.
242
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,024
Good.
How are you doing?
243
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,626
Yeah! [ laughs ]
244
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,895
Aah! Aah!
245
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,096
[ laughing ] yeah.
246
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,965
You here
playing pickleball?
247
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,367
Let me see.
Let me see what you got.
248
00:08:21,369 --> 00:08:22,968
A couple of swings,
all right?
249
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,236
[ laughter ]
250
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,105
30 miles per hour.
All right, come on.
251
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,575
All right, the ball's
coming at you. All right?
Come on!
252
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,509
You got to know how to swing.
It's a 45 angle.
253
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,311
Hey!
Why is this my life?
254
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,981
Whoo! Pickleball!
255
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,716
[ laughter ]
256
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,452
I'll see you.
Stay out of trouble.
257
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:41,853
[bleep] my ass hurts.
258
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,854
[ buzzer ]
259
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,923
-Dunh-dunh!
-Yes.
260
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,992
Narrator:
Murr got himself into a pickle,
261
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,728
Making him first up
on the loser board.
262
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,530
Today we're at nook coffee,
and, dang it,
263
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,400
We just missed out
on winning a gift card
264
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:56,602
For being the 100th customer.
Aw!
265
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,470
So now we're gonna have
to guilt the customer
266
00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:00,806
Into giving us the gift card
they just won
267
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,740
Without directly asking
for it.
268
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,410
Aw! The catch is, the reason
269
00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:05,677
For the guilt trip will be
270
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,412
Given to us by the other guys.
271
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,681
And if you can't get
that gift card back, you lose.
272
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,116
Aw!
-Aw!
273
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,221
Sal: Oh, yeah.
And we're in.
274
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,091
Q: Oh, my god.
Look at this.
275
00:09:19,093 --> 00:09:20,959
What is happening?
What is this outfit?
276
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,294
What?
What is this outfit?
277
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,161
We're in brooklyn.
278
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,696
Oh, my god, dude.
Oh.
279
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,098
This season, I'm trying out
every look possible
280
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,700
Until I find
my signature look.
281
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,436
You can check
one look off your list
282
00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:32,438
Because this ain't it
for you.
283
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,839
All right, all right.
Here we go.
284
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,107
Do you know what you want?
I don't know what I want yet.
285
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,643
You can go --
you can go ahead. Go ahead.
286
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:40,045
As fate would have it, this guy
is about to win a gift card.
287
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,914
Oh, wow. Congrats.
You're the 100th customer.
288
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,183
Wait.
So you just won
a $20 gift card.
289
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,386
[ laughter ]
290
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,788
Q: Did you see that?
291
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,323
Murr, don't say anything.
Just stare at him.
292
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,932
You got a $20 gift card?
293
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,337
[ laughter ]
294
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:06,604
You were the 100th to order,
295
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,007
But not the...
100th in line,
296
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,609
'cause do you remember,
like, a minute or two ago?
297
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,011
[ laughter ]
298
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,680
Do you remember, like --
do you remember that?
299
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,148
Like, do you remember that,
like...
300
00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,283
Do you remember that, like,
that we had...
301
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,018
Remember, like,
how we had...
302
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,353
Remember how we, like...
303
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:23,221
-♪ ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-bum
-look at the guy's face.
304
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,756
Do you remember?
Do you remember, like,
305
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,158
I didn't know what I wanted,
but then I switched...
306
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,425
You remember that?
Like, I switched.
307
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,626
Yeah.
Remember that?
308
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,696
Mm-hmm. Yes.
You remember that?
309
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:31,830
Do you want me to get you
something?
310
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:32,831
No, you know what it is?
311
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,032
"on this exact day"...
312
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,501
On this exact day...
313
00:10:35,503 --> 00:10:37,102
"...Five years ago..."
...Five years ago...
314
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,436
"...I was a second late..."
315
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,172
...I was a second late...
316
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:42,040
"...In saying goodbye
to my nana."
317
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,775
...In saying goodbye
to my nana.
318
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,110
Oh [bleep]
319
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,778
[ laughter ]
320
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,516
And today I'm a second late
on getting that gift card.
321
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:51,783
Yeah.
322
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,719
[ laughter ]
323
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,387
Yellow was
her favorite color.
324
00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:56,654
I do like that shirt.
325
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,256
You like the shirt?
Yeah.
326
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:01,059
Today's the five-year
anniversary of nana's death.
327
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:01,927
"my ill nana."
328
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,529
My ill [laughs]
329
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:06,264
My ill nana died.
330
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,933
Died five years ago.
And so you think
that me giving you this
331
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,001
Would fix that?
Murr, misunderstand.
332
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,270
Think he just told you
he's gonna give it to you.
333
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,405
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
334
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:14,740
That's so nice. Thank you.
'cause...
335
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,074
Yeah, you think
that would help?
336
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,609
Thank you so much. Yes.
That's so kind of you.
337
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:18,744
Okay. Yeah.
Thank you so much.
338
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,946
-He did it!
-Oh, my god!
339
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,349
My ill nana is happy
in heaven right now.
340
00:11:23,351 --> 00:11:24,650
[ ding!, laughter ]
341
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,686
Oh, it all looks
so good.
342
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,555
Murr: Here we go. Q.
343
00:11:29,557 --> 00:11:31,289
You know what you want,
sir?
344
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,958
Oh, I'm sorry. You can go ahead.
No, no, no.
345
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,426
I'm taking forever
to decide.
346
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,693
All right, cole.
Go big.
347
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,629
Whoa!
348
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:38,764
You're the 100th customer.
349
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:39,898
Hey, I like that.
350
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,100
You just won
a $20 gift card.
351
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,435
Appreciate that, bro.
352
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,371
Murr: Ok, q, try to get him
to give you the card.
353
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,773
[ laughs ]
354
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:48,840
What was that
I just heard?
355
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,108
He's the 100th customer.
356
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,376
Ohh.
357
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,111
"it's a bad day
for me," q.
358
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,046
Today, of all days,
that happened to me.
359
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,515
"I just found out
that my ex-wife's new husband
360
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,716
Is taye diggs."
361
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,386
[ laughter ]
362
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:01,853
[ laughing ] you know...
363
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:06,057
I just found out today
that my ex-wife is marrying
364
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,926
Taye diggs.
What?
365
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,461
Taye diggs.
366
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,597
But here I am,
just a loser on all fronts.
367
00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:13,599
You know, I found
my first gray hair today.
368
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:14,733
You know what that's like.
369
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,535
Your whole face and head
is gray.
370
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,471
I just found it today,
so...
371
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:26,678
Oh, that's very nice of you
to offer me that half measure,
372
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,214
But you're gonna be
sipping that coffee
373
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,750
While my wife is sipping
taye diggs.
374
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,551
[ laughter ]
ooh!
375
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,620
[ sobs ]
376
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:37,623
-Ooh.
-"gimme. Gimme it. Gimme it."
377
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:40,225
Just gimme it.
Taye diggs.
378
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,160
If only one thing would go right
for me today.
379
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,162
If only one thing.
380
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,831
"I woke up with a cockroach
in my mouth."
381
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,366
I woke up with a cockroach
in my mouth this morning, and --
382
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,635
What's this?!
383
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:52,971
Yeah!
He gave it to me.
384
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,973
Ah!
385
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,708
There's still good people
here in new york.
386
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,376
[ ding! ]
murr: He gave him the card.
387
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,446
Okay. Here we go, sal.
388
00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:02,247
Actually, I'm still deciding.
You can go ahead.
389
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,381
All right.
390
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,716
Q: Uh-oh, cole.
Good news.
391
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,251
That's 100th customer
of the day.
392
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,720
Oh. You're the 100th customer
of the day.
393
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,789
You just won
a $20 gift card.
394
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,058
Oh, my god.
Oh, no.
He's the 100th customer.
395
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,660
Oh, I thought
you were talking to...
396
00:13:14,662 --> 00:13:15,994
To me because I was...
397
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,795
Sorry.
398
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,064
Oh.
399
00:13:21,135 --> 00:13:23,935
"I mean, I thought it was for me
because today's my birthday."
400
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,471
Today's my birthday.
401
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:31,143
[ q laughs ]
402
00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:33,479
I mean, plead your case.
403
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:35,747
Do something.
You're gonna lose him.
404
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,949
I thought I was having
birthday luck.
405
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,085
[ q laughs ]
406
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,420
"sir,
could I hold it for a second?"
407
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,821
Q: "sir?"
408
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,491
"oh, sir."
sir?
409
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:46,825
Would it be cool if I held it
for a second
410
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,760
And took a picture with it
so I could text my friends
411
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:50,028
And tell them I won
on my birthday?
412
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,830
Just, please...
413
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,831
Stop talking.
414
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,899
[ q laughs ]
415
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,233
About the gift card,
stop talking,
416
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,902
Or just in general?
417
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,506
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
418
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:01,807
Murr: You're done.
419
00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:05,977
D. You're done.
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
420
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,447
Q: This is the toughest nut
to crack I've ever seen.
421
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,450
Oh, you're talking
about the gift card or no?
422
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:12,918
[ laughter ]
423
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,253
Okay. No, I didn't.
Did you order? Did you order?
424
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:16,255
I was gonna order.
That was my question.
425
00:14:16,257 --> 00:14:18,257
And then
that gift card was given out.
426
00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:19,591
You probably don't know
what I was talking about.
427
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:20,992
I was about to order.
428
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,462
And then when -- I was waiting,
and then he got lucky.
429
00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:24,863
He went, and they gave away
a gift card...
430
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,331
Got it. Okay. Okay.
...For the 100th customer.
431
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,399
So I missed it.
432
00:14:27,401 --> 00:14:28,533
Okay.
Yeah.
433
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,868
[ laughter ]
434
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:30,869
Q:
Hey, cole, guess what.
435
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,138
This customer
is winning a gift card, too.
436
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,874
Oh, wow!
102nd customer.
437
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,343
You got a $20 gift card,
as well.
Oh, come on, dude.
438
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,612
-Oh, really?
-Sal, if you can get a gift card
439
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,415
From either one of them, buddy,
I'll give it to you.
440
00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:46,885
It's my birthday, so...
441
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,620
He's gone.
That's one down.
442
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,290
She's your last hope.
443
00:14:51,292 --> 00:14:53,358
[ laughter ]
444
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,493
That's a thumbs-down.
445
00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:55,494
What the [bleep]
446
00:14:55,496 --> 00:14:58,229
[ buzzer, laughter ]
447
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,632
Narrator:
Sal couldn't get a coffee break.
448
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,103
So he and murr
are tonight's big losers.
449
00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:06,972
Okay, so murr and sal
have no idea what's going on.
450
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,907
But I brought in my actor friend
paul scheer
451
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,310
To host a game show
that I created.
452
00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:14,446
It's like the craziest
japanese game show you ever saw.
453
00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:16,181
I've been thinking
about this one forever.
454
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,850
I cannot wait for you to see it.
Let's go.
455
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:20,919
All right, guys, you got to keep
your voices down, okay?
456
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,322
You guys lost.
And for your punishment,
457
00:15:23,324 --> 00:15:25,256
All you have to do...
I don't like this at all.
458
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,525
...Is just walk through
those curtains.
459
00:15:26,527 --> 00:15:27,726
That's it?
That's the intro?
460
00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:29,060
Go start
your punishment.
461
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,997
You go first.
[ laughs ] you go first.
462
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,799
Is something
gonna hit me?
463
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:34,933
Nothing's gonna hit you.
464
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,934
You got it.
465
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,739
[ cheers and applause ]
466
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:44,209
♪♪
467
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,545
All right. So the guys
just walked into a game show
468
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,213
Of my own design
called "tails!,"
469
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,614
And we got
paul scheer to host it.
470
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,350
Oh, guys,
I have been waiting for this one
471
00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:52,617
For a long, long time.
472
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,086
I think you're gonna love it.
Welcome to "tails!"
473
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,487
[ applause ]
474
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,891
Hey, everybody!
Ha ha ha!
475
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:04,295
Well, welcome to "tails!"
476
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:08,167
The only game show where
our contestants guess the animal
477
00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:10,435
By putting the tail...
478
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,238
Together: In their mouth.
479
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,840
Oh, man.
480
00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:17,442
[ q laughs ]
481
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,178
Welcome to "tails!"
482
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:21,646
Paul:
Let's meet our competitors.
483
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:26,518
First up, we have james,
a dog owner from new jersey.
484
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,654
Our next contestant, salvatore,
loves cats so much
485
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:33,324
That one time he actually
covered himself in them.
486
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,460
[ laughs ]
487
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,862
Look at their faces.
488
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:39,064
Guys, you get what you have
to do here, right?
489
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,666
The rules
are very, very simple.
490
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,203
Okay?
You're gonna be blindfolded.
491
00:16:44,205 --> 00:16:45,937
You're gonna put that
animal tail in your mouth
492
00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:48,673
To guess, "whose tail
is in my mouth?"
493
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,008
Clearly,
this is just an excuse
494
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,543
To put tails
in my friends' mouths.
495
00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:53,011
But that's what happens
when you lose.
496
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,345
Are you ready,
contestants?
497
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,814
Yes.
Sure.
498
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:58,083
Donkey pound,
are you ready?!
499
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,018
Together: Yeah!
500
00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:00,085
All right, then.
501
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,821
Together:
Let's play "tails!"
502
00:17:02,823 --> 00:17:04,623
[ laughs ]
503
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:07,693
James, please put
on your blindfold.
504
00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:09,294
Okay. Send in the tail.
505
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,230
Let's bring out
the first tail.
506
00:17:11,232 --> 00:17:14,299
Please welcome
vanna black cat.
507
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,300
There it is.
508
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,835
[ audience "oohs" ]
509
00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:18,570
[ laughs ]
510
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:19,905
Now, I do want
to remind everybody
511
00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:22,373
That the tails obtained
in the show "tails!"
512
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,376
Are predominantly roadkill.
513
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,379
[ q laughs ]
514
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,516
Now, james, vanna is going
515
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,518
To put the tail
in your mouth.
516
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,587
Open wide.
Open wide.
517
00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:36,722
Get that tail in his mouth.
518
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,189
I need
that tail in his mouth.
519
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,592
Open. Open. All right.
520
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,861
[ q laughs, audience "ohhs" ]
521
00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:45,064
You guys are playing "tails!"
now, baby.
522
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:49,434
[in your mouth.Ience "ohhs" ]
523
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,905
Q: All right. Let's see if
murray can identify that tail.
524
00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:54,907
[ laughs ]
525
00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:56,975
I think salvatore
is a little jealous
526
00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:57,910
He didn't get this tail.
527
00:17:57,912 --> 00:17:59,978
[ gagging ]
oh, yeah.
528
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,846
He's tasting it.
529
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,849
Oh, and now
really tongue it.
530
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,585
[ q laughs ]
531
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,387
James, here's your clue.
532
00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:11,123
You'll go hog-wild
for this tail.
533
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:13,325
[ muffled ]
uh, is it a pig?
534
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:14,993
[ ding! ]
that's right.
535
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:17,129
Great job, james.
536
00:18:17,131 --> 00:18:20,599
James, was it exciting to taste
a pig tail in your mouth?
537
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,401
What is
this game show?
538
00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:24,737
It's "tails!"
539
00:18:24,739 --> 00:18:27,139
The only game show
where you guess the animal
540
00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:30,875
By putting the tail
in your mouth.
541
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,210
The rules
are pretty simple.
542
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,946
Oh [bleep]
543
00:18:33,948 --> 00:18:35,614
[ q laughing ]
544
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,482
Q: Look at the audience.
545
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,818
But do we --
am I getting points or...
546
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,286
Yeah, you get points.
Oh, okay.
547
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,755
And right now, you have a chance
to tie up the game, salvatore.
548
00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:46,891
Let's get ready
to taste that tail.
549
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,560
Vanna!
550
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,028
Q: Here we go, sal.
551
00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:53,231
Ooh. That's right.
552
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,435
Vanna is presenting the tail.
And this is a juicy one.
553
00:18:56,437 --> 00:18:58,637
Not literally.
It's very hairy.
554
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,774
Salvatore, open your mouth
really wide. Here we go.
555
00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:04,442
Salvatore, open up
that mouth really wide.
556
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,978
-Open!
-Open!
557
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:07,912
Q: Open it!
It's a punishment!
558
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:11,116
It's a punishment. You have to
put that tail in your mouth.
559
00:19:11,118 --> 00:19:13,918
Open that mouth.
560
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:14,953
[ gags ]
561
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,523
Lick it. Mouth it.
562
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,525
I'm gonna let you taste it
for a second more
563
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,726
Before I give you a clue.
564
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,196
[ gags ]
565
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:28,733
There's no masking
what this little bandit is.
566
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,402
What tail is that?
567
00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:31,936
[ q laughs ]
568
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,071
[ laughs ]
569
00:19:33,073 --> 00:19:34,139
[ muffled ] a raccoon?
570
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:35,140
A raccoon.
571
00:19:35,142 --> 00:19:37,209
[ ding! ]
that's correct.
572
00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:38,811
[ q laughs ]
573
00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:40,813
[ gags ]
574
00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:43,148
This is going better
than I thought, bud.
575
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:44,349
[ squawk ]
oh.
576
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:48,420
That squawk means
it's time for the next round.
577
00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:52,891
Oh, boy. It is time
to play "hot, hot, hot tails!"
578
00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,893
Q: Oh, boys, this next round's
my favorite.
579
00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:56,895
This is gonna be great.
You guys are gonna love this.
580
00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:59,297
James, put on
on your blindfold.
581
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:02,300
Please welcome
vanna black cat.
582
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,969
[ applause ]
583
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,438
Whew!
584
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:11,109
This tail is smothered
in hot sauce.
585
00:20:11,111 --> 00:20:12,244
That's right.
586
00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:14,046
That is --
that is distinct.
587
00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:16,048
[ q laughs ]
588
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:20,519
Now, vanna, please put that
hot tail in james' mouth.
589
00:20:20,521 --> 00:20:22,921
It's gross, bro.
590
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:24,056
Oh!
591
00:20:24,058 --> 00:20:27,526
[ q laughs ]
592
00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:30,128
Q: You guys are playing "tails!"
now, baby.
593
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:33,465
Okay. Now, the hint is,
"hey, there, pilgrim.
594
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,034
Gobble this tail."
595
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:39,738
Okay.
The animal is a turkey,
596
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:43,808
And the sauce
was a hot salsa.
597
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,277
[ ding! ]
598
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:46,811
Yeah!
599
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,547
What the [bleep]
wow.
600
00:20:48,549 --> 00:20:50,815
Yeah, murray!
Yeah, baby.
601
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,952
You got a taste for a hot sauce
and a taste for tails,
602
00:20:53,954 --> 00:20:55,220
This game was made for you.
603
00:20:55,222 --> 00:20:56,621
Salvatore,
put that blindfold on.
604
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,892
Vanna, let's see
our next tail.
605
00:20:59,894 --> 00:21:01,760
[ q laughs ]
606
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:02,827
Oh, my god.
607
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:05,163
Oh, great. [bleep]
ooh.
608
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:08,100
This is another hard tail,
salvatore --
609
00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:11,670
Not in difficulty to guess,
but in texture.
610
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,407
Here we go.
611
00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:21,780
[ chanting ] taste it. Taste it.
Taste it. Taste it.
612
00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:24,249
Taste it. Taste it.
613
00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:26,118
You have two
distinct flavors in there.
614
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:30,122
You get both right,
you will tie the game.
615
00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:31,323
Okay. Your clue.
616
00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:33,725
You just had a "shell"
of a time
617
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:36,461
Tasting
that southern mammal.
618
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,797
[ q laughs ]
619
00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:42,735
Southern mammal.
You had a "shell" of a time.
620
00:21:42,737 --> 00:21:44,002
Lobster?
621
00:21:44,004 --> 00:21:47,205
Lobsters are
a southern mammal.
622
00:21:47,207 --> 00:21:49,007
[ buzzer, audience groans ]
623
00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:51,744
Yeah.
624
00:21:51,746 --> 00:21:53,278
James, you want to guess?
625
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,679
Was that an armadillo?
626
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:58,283
That was an armadillo.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
627
00:21:58,285 --> 00:22:01,153
Another point for james.
He saw it! He saw it!
628
00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:03,288
He saw it!
629
00:22:03,290 --> 00:22:05,557
Right from the donkey pound,
they're screaming, "you suck."
630
00:22:05,559 --> 00:22:06,558
Let's all yell at him.
631
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,426
You suck!
632
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,829
Yeah.
633
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,230
All right, paul.
Time to announce the winner.
634
00:22:12,232 --> 00:22:13,565
Let's bring it home, baby.
635
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:18,703
Our winner today of "tails!"
is james.
636
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:19,838
[ cheers and applause ]
637
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,039
[ ting! ]
638
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:24,643
Q: Oh, you're not done yet,
buddy.
639
00:22:24,645 --> 00:22:28,113
Salvatore. You are not
going home empty-handed.
640
00:22:28,115 --> 00:22:30,649
So we actually want
to give you something.
641
00:22:30,651 --> 00:22:35,253
It is a luxurious fur coat.
Come over here.
642
00:22:35,255 --> 00:22:37,189
I know it's hot,
but you got to put this on.
643
00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:41,393
Okay? And there you go.
Now, look at salvatore.
644
00:22:41,395 --> 00:22:44,262
How do you feel
in this beautiful fur coat?
645
00:22:44,264 --> 00:22:47,065
Weird, hot.
Weird and hot.
646
00:22:47,067 --> 00:22:51,336
Now, james, you've won the game.
Let's see what you won.
647
00:22:51,338 --> 00:22:54,539
Send in the briefcase.
Welcome, alex.
648
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:58,877
So now this is an opportunity
to put one of the rarest tails
649
00:22:58,879 --> 00:23:01,346
In the world in your mouth.
650
00:23:01,348 --> 00:23:04,549
Please reveal the tail.
651
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:09,754
Ooh.
It is a dodo bird tail.
652
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:12,825
Paul, you're gonna put this
one in his mouth yourself, okay?
653
00:23:12,827 --> 00:23:14,092
Here we go.
654
00:23:14,094 --> 00:23:16,161
Now, put it -- oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
655
00:23:16,163 --> 00:23:19,698
Oh, yeah. There it is.
Just take it in. Oh, yeah.
656
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:22,901
[ laughs ]
657
00:23:22,903 --> 00:23:25,370
Oh, amazing!
658
00:23:25,372 --> 00:23:29,508
You got to taste
a dodo tail.
659
00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:32,310
That's it
for all of us at "tails!"
660
00:23:32,312 --> 00:23:33,912
Thank you for joining us.
661
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:35,247
All right, send in
the protestor.
662
00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:36,248
Send in the protestor.
663
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,850
Fur is murder!
664
00:23:37,852 --> 00:23:39,184
[ audience gasps ]
665
00:23:39,186 --> 00:23:42,320
[ q laughs ]
666
00:23:42,322 --> 00:23:45,858
Paul: Again, no animals were
harmed in the making of "tails!"
667
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:47,259
Thanks for joining us.
668
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:51,996
Tune in next time
for...
669
00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:56,869
"whose tail's in my mouth?"
all right.
670
00:23:56,871 --> 00:24:00,138
Yay! We did it, guys.
We did it.
671
00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:02,775
"tails!"