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{\an8}《陰間大法師》

2
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好膽就進來

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活人

4
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與亡靈

5
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能和諧共存嗎?

6
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我們就是要來弄清楚這點

7
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我是莉蒂亞迪茲,歡迎收看《鬼屋》

8
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(鬼屋)

9
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今晚的特別來賓是來自

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威斯康辛州克萊霍恩的
艾密特和裘蒂威爾奇

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還有他們的狗狗,塔可

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我們要聽聽

13
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他們的夢幻之家是如何變成鬼屋

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我當通靈師超過15年

15
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但我去威爾奇農場時
遇到的東西

16
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卻讓我毫無準備

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(莉蒂亞迪茲之鬼屋)

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以下是精彩預告

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請小心觀賞

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超刺激的喔

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00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:10,083
我不知道在門後會發現什麼,但...

22
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它不要我來這裡

23
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我感覺到一股黑暗力量

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我們得快走,馬上!

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艾密特

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準備好要聽聽你的超自然訪客嗎?

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放馬過來

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裘蒂,你呢?

29
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自從我們搬進...

30
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那天殺的房子後我就沒睡過覺

31
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塔可嚇壞了,牠每天晚上

32
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都在牠的狗床墊裡尿尿

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這真是活生生的惡夢

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面對未知事物,克服內心恐懼

35
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沒有更難的事了

36
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但是別擔心

37
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我馬上就會...

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搞什麼...

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不

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不,不

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怎麼回事?

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- 我不知道
- 快去!

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不,不

44
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你表現得很好

45
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我...

46
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需要休息一下?

47
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- 對
- 好,我們休息一下

48
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各位先生女士,莉蒂亞迪茲!

49
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好啊

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休息五分鐘,給我搞定

51
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大夥兒,午休時間到了!

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(莉蒂亞迪茲之鬼屋)

53
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我叫他要戴隱形眼鏡

54
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(藥局)

55
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大咖魔術師才不肯聽

56
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娜迪亞,別再碎念了

57
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我今天過得很糟糕

58
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剛才是怎麼回事?

59
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你沒事嗎?

60
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沒事,我很好

61
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都是每天要錄兩集啦

62
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- 太累了
- 天啊

63
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看到你這麼感覺真讓我難過

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你每次這麼感覺,我也感覺得到

65
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所以就像是...

66
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你難過所以我難過,我也不曉得

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對不起,我不是故意讓你難過

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寶貝,沒關係

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這代表我們心有靈犀一點通

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我們都有一顆脆弱的心

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不行,你不必吃藥

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我唯一的工作就是

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確保你的才華

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不會被一罐藥物給埋沒,莉蒂亞

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求求你

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讓我熬過今天

77
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好吧,但...

78
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我以後不會再幫你從垃圾桶裡挖藥片

79
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明白嗎?

80
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或是馬桶或水槽

81
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來吧

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好嗎?你行的

83
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- 好嗎?
- 好

84
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- 那是我的手機?
- 別動

85
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誰傳簡訊給我?

86
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你的靠北繼母

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{\an8}(你爸出事,快到藝廊)

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{\an8}她老是瘋狂傳訊

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我得走了

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莉蒂亞

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還要錄一段節目耶

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{\an8}(《人體畫布》笛麗雅迪茲)

93
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(迪茲)

94
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跟我們說說《人體畫布》的靈感

95
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(所有演出取消)

96
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我就是我的畫布

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我就是我的藝術

98
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大家都知道藝術模仿人生

99
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藝術滋養了我

100
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我光是靠雕塑得不到...

101
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足夠的養分

102
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所以我就決定拓展品味

103
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結果我真是貪得無厭...

104
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笛麗雅!

105
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你去了哪?

106
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我把自己哭到乾枯了

107
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爸怎麼了?

108
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真的很拍謝,勒提格

109
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他是塗鴉藝術界的畢卡索

110
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他像在巴黎地鐵那樣幫我畫塗鴉

111
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現在卻在發小脾氣

112
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因為我必須取消演出

113
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發生什麼事?

114
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啥米?

115
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你父親離開我了

116
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他要跟你離婚?

117
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你的想法有夠狠毒

118
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不是啦,他掛了!

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什麼?

120
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你爸去世了

121
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怎麼會?

122
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他搭機從富那富提環礁的
賞鳥之旅回來

123
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他的飛機在南太平洋墜毀

124
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飛機失事?

125
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那是他最害怕的惡夢

126
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其實墜機後他沒死

127
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他是淹死的?

128
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差一點

129
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但並不是,生還者說

130
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你爸抓住機翼

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- 這裡!
- 快啊!

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嘿,游過來!

133
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嘿!

134
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他到底是怎麼死的?

135
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一隻鯊魚跳出水面

136
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一口把他吞掉!

137
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就那麼簡單

138
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我週六才跟他說過話,他超興奮的

139
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他謝謝我送他望遠鏡

140
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還說他觀察了土島磯鷸的交配儀式

141
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對啊,他飛到地球另一邊
看兩隻鳥在沙灘上愛愛

142
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結果害死了他!

143
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我們得告訴亞斯翠

144
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一定要嗎?她已經夠中二了

145
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如果我找得到她,我們已經不講話了

146
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,689
查爾斯知道我得取消演出
會難過得要死

147
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他說什麼?

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(《人體畫布》笛麗雅迪茲)

149
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你看到嗎?

150
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,315
我在哪裡?

151
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沿著走廊走,右邊第二道門

152
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抽個號碼牌

153
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有人會來幫你

154
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總有一天

155
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該死的老外

156
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(清潔液)

157
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(失物招領處)

158
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(無人認領:455-955)

159
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(工具箱)

160
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喂,美魔女!

161
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你不應該在這裡

162
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別逼我跟你說兩遍

163
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陰間大法師在哪裡?

164
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{\an8}(醒醒吧,我們完蛋了
加入諾桑覺氣候團隊)

165
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(所謂的媽,拒接)

166
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(亞斯翠)

167
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(咘)

168
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鬼屋!

169
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等你們生了第三個小孩和第二次離婚

170
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,382
看誰會笑到最後

171
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,015
(阻止氣候暖化,保護動物)

172
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太好了

173
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,064
別來煩我

174
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,408
(做出改變,馬上行動)

175
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就這麼說定了
我們把查爾斯帶回冬河鎮

176
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但我沒辦過葬禮

177
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:17,251
查爾斯沒在我身邊
我從來沒辦過任何儀式

178
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,211
他總是滿懷敬畏地看著我

179
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,879
這是亞斯翠,請勿留言

180
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,506
她不肯接電話

181
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,633
也許該讓我告訴她查爾斯的死訊

182
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:28,470
從非女性化男性原型口中
說出來會比較容易

183
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,848
這個家已經沒有男人了

184
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,517
你這麼說我不介意,笛麗雅

185
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,519
我很快就會是這個家的一員

186
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,729
老實說

187
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,857
我可能是告訴她的最佳人選

188
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,192
我才剛失去我的爺爺

189
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,569
真假?幾時?

190
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:45,863
四十年前

191
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,991
但在我孩童般的內心宛如昨天

192
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:50,534
我會告訴亞斯翠,好嗎?

193
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:52,369
先給我幾分鐘再上去

194
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,746
夠了!讓我告訴她

195
00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:57,666
亞斯翠!

196
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:00,836
亞斯翠!

197
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,963
亞斯翠!

198
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,216
別再折磨你媽了

199
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,969
我通常會覺得這很搞笑

200
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,972
她在你這年紀也是這麼對我

201
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,224
但今天不行!

202
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,768
你媽媽失去了爸爸

203
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,812
你也失去了外公

204
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,231
我失去了我的...

205
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,108
好色雜工

206
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:25,444
查爾斯

207
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:27,738
查爾斯!

208
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:31,325
查爾斯!

209
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,454
真不敢相信外公掛了

210
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,874
他是這個家唯一的半正常人

211
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:39,875
(迪茲藝術中心)

212
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,418
我們要在冬河待幾個禮拜

213
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,587
什麼待幾個禮拜?
我以為只是去參加葬禮

214
00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:45,631
我們得把房子清空

215
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:46,924
外公很愛那地方

216
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,844
沒錯,我們要用悲傷珍藏展紀念他

217
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,429
“悲傷珍藏展”?

218
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:58,101
我想呈現失去摯愛的
半多媒體形式的視覺宣言

219
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,603
失去摯愛是什麼樣子?

220
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,022
只是眼淚?一座墓碑?

221
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,565
枯萎的唐菖蒲?

222
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:07,361
不,我們必須剖析悲傷的藝術

223
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,989
那聽起來超痛苦的

224
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,156
我不能去

225
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:15,035
我是下星期學生環保會議的代表

226
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,954
我們要提出對氣候變遷行動的訴求

227
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,289
我跟校長談過,校方同意了

228
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:21,959
她覺得這是個好主意

229
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,919
是啊,你捐贈了整座藝術中心

230
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,838
校長就變成你操控的傀儡

231
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,091
等你靠環保人士薪水吃香喝辣

232
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:31,426
大可以拒絕繼承你的遺產

233
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,349
什麼?不,不!

234
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,771
大家已經知道莉蒂亞迪茲是我媽了

235
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:46,358
拜託你能別再當個怪咖嗎?

236
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:47,651
- 回去吧
- 為什麼?

237
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,946
大家都知道你寧願跟鬼魂一起混

238
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,197
也不肯陪你女兒

239
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,963
(陰間大法師)

240
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:15,137
(來世客服經理,最棒的老闆!)

241
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,898
吼,巴布

242
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,692
沒看到我在專心思考嗎?

243
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:33,238
巴布,你知道嗎?
遠距離戀愛超難維持

244
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:36,533
尤其是其中一個掛了
另一個三十年來又不理你

245
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,203
但我和莉蒂亞絕對有心靈連結

246
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,079
- 我們心有靈犀
- 我只要這些人離開我家

247
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:44,249
請稍候!來世客服中心,請稍候

248
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,460
頂級驅魔服務要多少錢?

249
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,461
我跟你說

250
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,755
她上次肯定有看到我

251
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,966
- 我有感覺
- 保證退款的那種

252
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,635
我正在幫您接通

253
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,095
我才剛掛,她就再婚了

254
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,347
向他推銷蜜月套餐

255
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,516
我要殺了她的新老公
附身在他前妻身上

256
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,644
逼她做骯髒事,瘋傳她的不雅照

257
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,187
我能不能分期付款?

258
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:11,818
樓上需要我

259
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,363
巴布,幫我顧好這裡

260
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:15,948
(哈囉,我是巴布)

261
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,493
(哈囉,我是布萊德)

262
00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,207
我就是,我在哪裡?

263
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:27,167
拿個號碼牌,坐著等

264
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:31,338
(冠軍!)

265
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,637
我是狗派

266
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,224
你!515號房,馬上去

267
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:47,813
{\an8}(來世警局)

268
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:48,981
{\an8}- 給我走
- 來吧

269
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,524
別弄髒我的西裝

270
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:52,734
少來警探這套,你這死人渣

271
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:53,777
- 收到舉報
- 又是抗議者

272
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:54,778
(沃夫傑克森回歸飾演...
硬漢法蘭克)

273
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:55,779
發生10-09案件

274
00:19:55,946 --> 00:20:00,117
沃夫傑克森,來世重案組

275
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,369
我亂猜一下喔

276
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:03,871
你曾是演員

277
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,081
不只是C咖演員

278
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:09,376
我是大明星
拍過六部大片和一部重啟電影

279
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:11,879
我可是硬漢法蘭克

280
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,256
堅持親自演出特技動作

281
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:16,008
- 知道為什麼嗎?
- 真實性

282
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:17,217
沒錯

283
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,928
重案組警探不會到了嫌犯門口

284
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:23,390
再找遜咖特技替身把門撞開

285
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:24,850
我也不會

286
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,643
一定要來真的

287
00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:28,604
你腦袋開花也是真的

288
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,316
我怎知那是真的手榴彈?

289
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:34,193
我正在調查一起案子

290
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,569
你的名字冒出來

291
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:36,570
{\an8}(特別調查檔案,陰間大法師)

292
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:42,993
認得這張臉嗎?

293
00:20:45,037 --> 00:20:46,705
我前世從來沒見過她

294
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,457
來世也沒有

295
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,754
(陰間大法師是我的!
犯罪現場,請勿進入)

296
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:58,425
你知道嫌犯為什麼
用這蠢蛋的黏液寫你名字嗎?

297
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,387
很難說,沃夫
但可能是我的超級大粉絲

298
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,181
像你跟我這種大帥哥...

299
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,141
女生對我們為之瘋狂

300
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,101
她拼湊了所有的身體部位

301
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:11,438
我的直覺是她要報仇

302
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:14,858
你是她要殺的頭號人物

303
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:17,528
她不是第一個想殺我的女人

304
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,530
而且要殺一個死人很難

305
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,781
這女的可以

306
00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,616
她是個吸魂怪

307
00:21:22,783 --> 00:21:24,326
對啊,她超會吸的

308
00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:27,996
我建議你保持低調

309
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,874
你被她逮到就會死透透

310
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:33,877
連死人都當不了,大法師先生

311
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,046
收到了

312
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:44,179
天亮囉,我說天亮囉

313
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:49,309
天亮囉,我要走了

314
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:50,477
{\an8}(查爾斯迪茲之墓
父親、丈夫、賞鳥人)

315
00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:57,025
{\an8}天亮囉,我說天亮囉

316
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:05,033
天亮囉,我要走了

317
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:10,831
來吧,盤點先生,盤點我的香蕉

318
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:14,751
天亮囉,我要回家

319
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:19,673
串起六呎、七呎、八呎高的香蕉

320
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:26,847
天亮囉,我要回家

321
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,809
我不敢相信再也見不到查爾斯

322
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:34,688
他已經去了一個更好的地方

323
00:22:34,855 --> 00:22:37,107
天使會指引他走向永恆之光

324
00:22:37,274 --> 00:22:39,776
願他的靈魂飛進天堂之門

325
00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:41,695
就像他那麼喜歡的小鳥

326
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:45,282
掠過極樂淨土,飛向上帝榮光

327
00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:47,284
啥米?

328
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:57,252
爸爸死後我就沒參加過葬禮

329
00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,421
死亡好難面對

330
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,091
對,但有時我認為人生更難面對

331
00:23:04,343 --> 00:23:05,344
我知道

332
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:10,224
如果你想再跟心理師談談...

333
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:11,391
你又來了

334
00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:15,103
一提起爸爸你就顧左右而言他

335
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:17,147
亞斯翠

336
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,733
我很愛你父親

337
00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:23,695
但我們的關係
在他出意外之前早就結束了

338
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,032
我還是不懂你為什麼看不到他

339
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:32,913
- 為什麼?
- 我也希望我知道

340
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:37,209
但我的通靈能力沒有使用說明書

341
00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:40,546
那是我在你這年紀時開始的

342
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:41,839
很諷刺,對嗎?

343
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:44,925
你為了你的爛節目
可以看到任何路人鬼

344
00:23:45,092 --> 00:23:46,552
但唯一對我最重要的鬼

345
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:48,136
你卻完全看不到

346
00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:06,655
(乾洗店,當日服務)

347
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:09,658
我們打烊了!

348
00:24:09,825 --> 00:24:12,786
抱歉打擾了,我是查爾斯迪茲

349
00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:14,663
我的腦袋不太靈光

350
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:16,123
我在哪裡啊?

351
00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:17,666
該死的菜鳥

352
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:20,085
你要等啦!去等待室!

353
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,087
好吧

354
00:24:23,881 --> 00:24:25,174
真是沒禮貌

355
00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:35,184
嘿

356
00:24:35,601 --> 00:24:36,685
誰在裡面?

357
00:25:26,944 --> 00:25:28,529
(不容拒絕,生物驅魔服務)

358
00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:34,284
我前妻回來了

359
00:25:35,536 --> 00:25:36,870
我知道你們在想什麼

360
00:25:37,663 --> 00:25:39,957
“大法師怎麼會結婚?”

361
00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:43,877
“什麼樣的女人會讓他定下來?”

362
00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:47,631
{\an8}讓我告訴大家

363
00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:54,972
{\an8}在一個被遺忘的年代
在死亡和瘟疫籠罩之下

364
00:25:55,138 --> 00:25:58,684
{\an8}我們墮落的愛情故事就此展開

365
00:26:03,397 --> 00:26:05,774
{\an8}我只是個卑微的盜墓者

366
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:08,402
{\an8}專門挖掘被遺棄的死者墳墓

367
00:26:14,324 --> 00:26:17,536
{\an8}我枯萎的心早已墜入深淵

368
00:26:18,161 --> 00:26:21,707
{\an8}但命運宛如幽靈般在寒風刺骨

369
00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:25,377
{\an8}星光黯淡的夜晚投下長長的陰影

370
00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:29,089
{\an8}她的名字是桃樂絲

371
00:26:32,551 --> 00:26:37,472
{\an8}當我凝視她被詛咒的雙眸
就深深受到蠱惑

372
00:26:39,892 --> 00:26:42,186
{\an8}那是一場傳統婚禮

373
00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:45,480
{\an8}我們啜飲彼此的血

374
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:49,151
{\an8}咬下幾隻活雞的頭

375
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,445
{\an8}還活祭了一頭山羊

376
00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,532
{\an8}我們的洞房之夜...

377
00:26:56,867 --> 00:26:59,161
{\an8}是一場肉體歡愉的交響樂

378
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:02,956
{\an8}一齣充滿慾望...

379
00:27:03,081 --> 00:27:05,042
{\an8}和狂野渴望的歌劇

380
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,716
{\an8}但我的新娘隱藏一個邪惡秘密

381
00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:17,679
{\an8}她是一個吸食靈魂的死亡邪教領袖

382
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:26,522
{\an8}就像蜘蛛逼近獵物,她準備要出擊

383
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:31,360
{\an8}恭喜了

384
00:27:32,319 --> 00:27:36,949
{\an8}她為了追求永生需要兩樣東西

385
00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:42,079
{\an8}我的生命...和我的靈魂!

386
00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:45,415
{\an8}(毒藥)

387
00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:49,461
{\an8}嘿...我也喜歡怪怪的東東

388
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,923
{\an8}但就連我也有底限,所以...

389
00:27:55,259 --> 00:27:56,093
{\an8}(我就是這麼愛你)

390
00:27:56,260 --> 00:27:57,344
{\an8}(哈囉,我是傑夫)

391
00:27:57,678 --> 00:27:59,304
{\an8}我們分道揚鑣

392
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:00,722
現在她回來了

393
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:02,474
而且超不爽

394
00:28:32,713 --> 00:28:33,714
嘿

395
00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:37,759
你的腦袋一定很混亂

396
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,053
你的內心也一樣

397
00:28:42,806 --> 00:28:46,643
如果你想發洩情緒,我願意聆聽

398
00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:52,816
我已經發洩情緒了,謝謝

399
00:28:52,983 --> 00:28:55,527
我看到你站在你外公的墳前

400
00:28:57,196 --> 00:28:58,405
他一定超酷的

401
00:29:01,033 --> 00:29:02,618
死亡真的是...

402
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:07,206
超悲慘的,瞭嗎?

403
00:29:07,873 --> 00:29:10,834
如果你想哭哭或只是...

404
00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:14,379
對誰發洩你內心的憤怒

405
00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:15,756
我要你知道

406
00:29:15,923 --> 00:29:17,007
我可以是你的...

407
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:21,261
酷酷的老爸傢伙,瞭嗎?

408
00:29:23,597 --> 00:29:24,598
- 我很好
- 你要知道

409
00:29:24,765 --> 00:29:27,935
這種事能讓一家人更親密

410
00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:29,478
我在來這裡的路上...

411
00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:31,146
為你外公寫了一首詩

412
00:29:31,313 --> 00:29:32,606
真的嗎?

413
00:29:32,773 --> 00:29:33,607
寫得怎樣?

414
00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:37,653
那...

415
00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:41,865
起頭是...當然是從悲傷開始

416
00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:43,075
然後是接受

417
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:46,662
很長啦,我也沒有背下來

418
00:29:46,828 --> 00:29:48,372
不過很優美

419
00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:49,706
少來了,羅瑞

420
00:29:50,374 --> 00:29:52,376
我才不吃你的心靈雞湯

421
00:29:52,543 --> 00:29:55,629
情緒發洩、創傷羈絆
和瑜伽修行那一套

422
00:29:56,588 --> 00:29:57,422
我看穿你了

423
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:02,010
我媽跟你一樣都是心靈破碎的人

424
00:30:02,636 --> 00:30:04,346
她是有幻覺的妄想狂

425
00:30:05,722 --> 00:30:07,891
你只是在利用她,如果她願意被利用

426
00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:09,059
那是她自找的

427
00:30:18,944 --> 00:30:20,654
請節哀順變

428
00:30:20,821 --> 00:30:22,406
我知道,謝謝

429
00:30:23,365 --> 00:30:26,326
原來是小珍巴特菲德

430
00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:27,870
她是小小珍?

431
00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:29,413
我現在叫珍巴特菲德李

432
00:30:29,705 --> 00:30:30,831
我又冠了夫姓

433
00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:31,832
那是麥絲狄恩嗎?

434
00:30:33,166 --> 00:30:34,168
不是

435
00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:35,544
其他人都還沒來

436
00:30:37,087 --> 00:30:37,921
(冬河釀酒廠)

437
00:30:38,088 --> 00:30:39,756
我老公精釀啤酒廠的樣品

438
00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:42,676
“精釀”?是給精盡人亡的人喝的?

439
00:30:43,302 --> 00:30:46,430
你的房子怎麼都用黑布蓋住?

440
00:30:46,597 --> 00:30:48,557
那是用來哀悼的裹屍布

441
00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:51,643
查爾斯死了,這棟房子也死了

442
00:30:51,935 --> 00:30:53,979
我要在過渡時期保護它

443
00:30:54,479 --> 00:30:56,648
為了一個新家庭的全新生活

444
00:30:57,316 --> 00:30:58,650
我等不及要帶人來看房子

445
00:30:58,817 --> 00:31:00,277
買家已經在排隊了

446
00:31:00,444 --> 00:31:01,445
多虧有你,莉蒂亞

447
00:31:01,612 --> 00:31:03,822
大家都想要買下原版的鬼屋

448
00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:05,365
鬼魂不是真的

449
00:31:05,866 --> 00:31:08,243
只有傻瓜才會相信那種鬼話

450
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:09,912
除非你想靠它賺錢,對吧?

451
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:12,331
好了,親愛的,進去吧

452
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:15,042
請各位聽我說

453
00:31:15,209 --> 00:31:16,084
搞什麼?

454
00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:21,006
我們今天齊聚一堂
歡慶一個非凡的人生

455
00:31:21,215 --> 00:31:23,550
我很榮幸只見過查爾斯幾次

456
00:31:23,717 --> 00:31:26,220
那我可以告訴你他不想聽任何致詞

457
00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:28,514
查爾斯討厭公開表達情感

458
00:31:29,056 --> 00:31:31,350
沒錯,但他也...

459
00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:34,311
選擇活出充實的人生

460
00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:37,689
我要學習查爾斯迪茲的精神

461
00:31:37,856 --> 00:31:38,857
莉蒂亞

462
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:41,693
我知道我們一直同意要慢慢來

463
00:31:41,944 --> 00:31:43,153
但我等不及了

464
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,405
讓我們在你最愛的節日結婚吧

465
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:47,824
你願意在萬聖節嫁給我嗎?

466
00:31:47,991 --> 00:31:48,825
老天爺!

467
00:31:50,744 --> 00:31:52,287
那是兩天後耶!

468
00:31:52,454 --> 00:31:53,413
我知道

469
00:31:53,580 --> 00:31:55,666
我跟達米恩神父談過,教堂有空檔

470
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:59,086
主的聖所歡迎
尋求救贖和永恆榮耀的人

471
00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:02,130
但別在中午前或是下午三到四點之間

472
00:32:02,297 --> 00:32:04,758
你真的要在我們
為查爾斯守靈時求婚?

473
00:32:05,717 --> 00:32:08,637
對啊,因為...

474
00:32:09,972 --> 00:32:11,849
因為當我們站在這裡

475
00:32:12,015 --> 00:32:13,141
被死亡圍繞著

476
00:32:13,976 --> 00:32:16,353
讓我們都做出選擇生命的承諾

477
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,939
因為我想與你共度餘生,莉蒂亞

478
00:32:20,858 --> 00:32:21,775
還有你,笛麗雅

479
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,153
還有你

480
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,864
還有你,我再說一次

481
00:32:27,781 --> 00:32:28,615
你覺得怎樣?

482
00:32:30,284 --> 00:32:33,704
羅瑞,我...我現在不能答應你

483
00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:39,835
好吧

484
00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:44,173
我們失去太多了

485
00:32:44,339 --> 00:32:45,382
你是什麼意思?

486
00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:47,092
先是查爾斯的死

487
00:32:47,301 --> 00:32:49,136
當然還有我爺爺的死

488
00:32:49,303 --> 00:32:50,387
現在死的是...

489
00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:54,516
- 我們的關係
- 沒啦,我...

490
00:32:54,683 --> 00:32:55,893
我不是那個意思

491
00:32:56,059 --> 00:32:58,979
我以為你想陪著我勇敢跳入婚姻

492
00:32:59,146 --> 00:33:01,064
沒有安全網,對吧?

493
00:33:01,231 --> 00:33:02,107
但我猜...

494
00:33:02,274 --> 00:33:04,526
我們的愛今天將跳入死亡深淵

495
00:33:05,611 --> 00:33:06,945
安全繩索剛剛斷了

496
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:08,989
別這樣,羅瑞

497
00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:10,032
我愛你

498
00:33:10,199 --> 00:33:11,283
我也愛你

499
00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:16,496
那我們還在等什麼?

500
00:33:18,582 --> 00:33:20,167
我猜好吧

501
00:33:23,337 --> 00:33:24,671
我的天啊

502
00:33:28,926 --> 00:33:30,010
她說“願意”了!

503
00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:33,055
她說“願意”了!

504
00:33:34,890 --> 00:33:35,891
亞斯翠!

505
00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:04,044
(限高4米,速限24公里)

506
00:34:11,844 --> 00:34:13,679
(冬河鎮消防局)

507
00:34:13,846 --> 00:34:18,684
(倒帶咖啡烘焙店)

508
00:34:27,442 --> 00:34:30,027
(夏儂小姐女子學校)

509
00:34:41,956 --> 00:34:43,083
(安息)

510
00:34:47,254 --> 00:34:48,088
對不起!

511
00:34:50,757 --> 00:34:51,757
- 對不起!
- 小心!

512
00:35:06,857 --> 00:35:07,858
你沒事吧?

513
00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:16,992
你沒事吧?發生什麼事?

514
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:20,078
沒事,我死不了

515
00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:22,915
你在看什麼書?

516
00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:23,916
(《罪與罰》杜斯妥也夫斯基)

517
00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:25,334
《罪與罰》

518
00:35:25,626 --> 00:35:27,294
- 那種書喔
-“那種書”?

519
00:35:27,461 --> 00:35:28,378
那是什麼意思?

520
00:35:28,879 --> 00:35:30,923
沒什麼,我看過三遍

521
00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:32,591
- 真假?
- 真的

522
00:35:33,383 --> 00:35:34,968
“痛苦與折磨總是無法避免”

523
00:35:35,135 --> 00:35:36,094
是啊

524
00:35:36,261 --> 00:35:37,763
是啊,我...

525
00:35:37,930 --> 00:35:40,807
我不敢相信你引用杜斯妥也夫斯基

526
00:35:41,266 --> 00:35:42,768
我這輩子你都在哪裡?

527
00:35:47,606 --> 00:35:49,358
你住在冬河鎮多久了?

528
00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:50,817
一輩子

529
00:35:50,984 --> 00:35:52,402
我從來沒見過你

530
00:35:52,569 --> 00:35:55,697
我只是暫時來參加我外公的葬禮

531
00:35:57,157 --> 00:36:00,994
直到我媽的白目未婚夫
把它變成了訂婚派對

532
00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:02,579
對啊,他宣布了婚禮日期

533
00:36:03,413 --> 00:36:06,458
哇,那有夠奇怪

534
00:36:06,625 --> 00:36:09,044
如果你認識我媽
其實完全符合她的作風

535
00:36:10,587 --> 00:36:12,089
你爸還在嗎?還是...

536
00:36:13,632 --> 00:36:14,633
他不在了

537
00:36:16,009 --> 00:36:17,302
他有個自由的靈魂

538
00:36:18,387 --> 00:36:20,013
總是捍衛注定失敗的使命

539
00:36:20,180 --> 00:36:21,849
他們離婚後,他就去了巴西

540
00:36:22,558 --> 00:36:23,892
他想要拯救雨林

541
00:36:25,686 --> 00:36:27,104
但我媽在這裡長大

542
00:36:27,271 --> 00:36:28,355
山丘上的老房子

543
00:36:29,731 --> 00:36:30,858
等等,那棟鬼屋?

544
00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:33,277
你媽是莉蒂亞迪茲?

545
00:36:34,236 --> 00:36:35,612
很不幸是的

546
00:36:35,779 --> 00:36:36,613
她是個傳奇

547
00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:38,907
是啊,如果你相信超自然的鬼話

548
00:36:40,033 --> 00:36:40,868
你不相信?

549
00:36:42,494 --> 00:36:43,537
不相信

550
00:36:44,162 --> 00:36:45,831
我只相信我看得到的東西

551
00:36:45,998 --> 00:36:47,708
像是科學、事實

552
00:36:50,085 --> 00:36:51,044
(所謂的媽,快回來)

553
00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:52,087
她會一直傳訊息

554
00:36:53,672 --> 00:36:54,965
我要回去瘋人院了

555
00:36:56,300 --> 00:36:58,302
很抱歉撞壞你家的圍欄

556
00:36:58,468 --> 00:36:59,636
我媽會付錢修好

557
00:36:59,803 --> 00:37:02,264
沒關係啦,反正他們不會注意到

558
00:37:04,933 --> 00:37:07,769
這樣吧,我明天也會在這裡

559
00:37:07,936 --> 00:37:11,398
如果你想逃出瘋人院的話

560
00:37:25,412 --> 00:37:29,583
(通緝令,桃樂絲拉芙
懸賞金五千美元)

561
00:37:45,807 --> 00:37:48,810
目擊證人證實嫌犯是
來自失物招領處的吸魂怪

562
00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:50,687
想聽奇怪的事嗎,老大?

563
00:37:50,854 --> 00:37:51,688
說吧

564
00:37:51,855 --> 00:37:54,191
她把老闆變成人肉鬆餅後...

565
00:37:54,358 --> 00:37:55,359
(警告:請勿破壞物證)

566
00:37:55,526 --> 00:37:56,693
...她偷走了一件婚紗

567
00:37:56,860 --> 00:37:59,363
當然了,這個釘裝自己的肖婆

568
00:37:59,530 --> 00:38:04,493
扭曲的內心只想和大法師先生
上演一場浪漫重逢的戲碼

569
00:38:04,660 --> 00:38:06,078
她絕對不會罷手

570
00:38:06,245 --> 00:38:08,997
直到她帶著他走下紅毯

571
00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:15,128
這種案子讓我懷疑
我為什麼會成為警察

572
00:38:18,006 --> 00:38:19,842
你不是警察,你是演員

573
00:38:20,884 --> 00:38:21,760
謝謝,珍妮

574
00:38:23,053 --> 00:38:24,096
你讓我認清事實

575
00:38:24,263 --> 00:38:26,765
應該把這個陰間大法師
關進保護拘留所嗎?

576
00:38:26,932 --> 00:38:28,058
看看你能不能找到他

577
00:38:28,225 --> 00:38:29,726
他大概躲起來了

578
00:38:29,893 --> 00:38:32,354
嚇到皮皮剉

579
00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:33,522
(來世報)

580
00:38:33,689 --> 00:38:35,107
(個案管理員持續罷工第七天)

581
00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:36,733
(通靈板實施宵禁,驅魔次數飆升)

582
00:38:37,693 --> 00:38:39,236
再堆高一點,兄弟們

583
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,738
不能讓桃樂絲破門而入

584
00:38:49,037 --> 00:38:50,330
巴布

585
00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:51,623
就像照鏡子一樣

586
00:38:53,250 --> 00:38:55,210
巴布,你要當我的掩護

587
00:38:55,377 --> 00:38:56,837
隨時都要走在我前面

588
00:38:57,004 --> 00:39:00,299
那樣她就會吸走你的靈魂
讓我趁機逃走

589
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,177
瞭嗎?

590
00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:07,389
(訃聞,查爾斯迪茲)

591
00:39:07,556 --> 00:39:10,225
(冬河鎮葬禮
妻,藝術家,女,電視主持人)

592
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,982
我的機會來了

593
00:39:29,244 --> 00:39:30,412
啥米?

594
00:39:30,579 --> 00:39:31,413
為什麼?

595
00:39:32,831 --> 00:39:34,625
不...!

596
00:39:34,791 --> 00:39:36,126
笛麗雅,怎麼了?

597
00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:37,878
我要拍到完美的原始尖叫

598
00:39:38,045 --> 00:39:39,713
把照片放大然後掛在牆上

599
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,007
我邀請大家都這麼做

600
00:39:42,382 --> 00:39:43,842
- 為什麼?
- 為了珍藏展啊

601
00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:48,347
我們不能真正歡慶逝去摯愛的美好

602
00:39:48,514 --> 00:39:51,850
除非先釋放他們對我們造成的恐懼

603
00:39:52,017 --> 00:39:53,810
外公對你做了什麼可怕的事?

604
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,396
他沒告訴我就買了這棟房子

605
00:39:59,816 --> 00:40:00,817
我的天啊!

606
00:40:02,236 --> 00:40:03,946
我本來想在鎮上買紙箱

607
00:40:04,112 --> 00:40:05,447
結果聽到你尖叫,你沒事吧?

608
00:40:05,614 --> 00:40:06,907
是笛麗雅啦

609
00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:09,076
噢,笛麗雅

610
00:40:09,576 --> 00:40:10,410
我很好

611
00:40:11,119 --> 00:40:11,954
別理她

612
00:40:12,829 --> 00:40:13,997
你真貼心

613
00:40:14,164 --> 00:40:15,749
亞斯翠,你能幫他搬紙箱嗎?

614
00:40:17,543 --> 00:40:19,336
我請搬家公司下週來,好嗎?

615
00:40:19,503 --> 00:40:22,339
大家都有時間放下悲傷和創傷

616
00:40:22,506 --> 00:40:23,882
婚禮結束後就回去

617
00:40:24,049 --> 00:40:25,551
我們得錄完節目

618
00:40:25,717 --> 00:40:28,095
也許媽可以請閣樓的鬼魂幫我們

619
00:40:28,595 --> 00:40:31,306
亞當和芭芭拉麥特蘭
他們已經不在了

620
00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:33,100
怎麼?他們找到更好的鬼屋?

621
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,395
沒啦,我們找到一個漏洞
他們就離開了

622
00:40:37,229 --> 00:40:38,730
有夠剛好

623
00:41:46,340 --> 00:41:47,424
(立刻來電!陰間大法師)

624
00:41:47,591 --> 00:41:48,675
(生物驅魔師尋找...愛的連結?)

625
00:41:52,638 --> 00:41:54,306
(理查)

626
00:42:25,629 --> 00:42:26,880
(現正熱映,馬里奧巴瓦影展)

627
00:42:39,226 --> 00:42:41,061
天啊,我以為我弄丟了

628
00:42:43,021 --> 00:42:46,984
那是在馬里奧巴瓦恐懼影展上拍的

629
00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:49,027
我懷了你九個月

630
00:42:49,695 --> 00:42:52,197
我的羊水在放映
《驅魔任務》的時候破了

631
00:42:53,907 --> 00:42:55,033
爸爸最愛的電影

632
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,034
是啊

633
00:42:56,201 --> 00:42:57,244
我能留著嗎?

634
00:42:58,287 --> 00:42:59,955
當然了

635
00:43:00,122 --> 00:43:01,874
我也很喜歡冬河鎮的模型

636
00:43:02,749 --> 00:43:04,126
是外公做的嗎?

637
00:43:04,293 --> 00:43:06,670
不是,那是麥特蘭家的

638
00:43:07,212 --> 00:43:10,174
那對不存在的鬼夫妻

639
00:43:18,682 --> 00:43:20,142
那是我在地板上找到的

640
00:43:20,309 --> 00:43:21,226
陰間大法師是哪位?

641
00:43:21,393 --> 00:43:23,395
永遠別召喚他的名字

642
00:43:23,562 --> 00:43:24,938
永遠都不准!

643
00:43:25,105 --> 00:43:27,274
- 陰間大法師
- 不,亞斯翠,我是說真的

644
00:43:27,441 --> 00:43:28,984
如果你連續召喚他三次

645
00:43:29,151 --> 00:43:30,694
- 壞事就會發生
- 像是什麼?

646
00:43:30,861 --> 00:43:33,113
你不准再上來閣樓

647
00:43:33,530 --> 00:43:34,531
知道嗎?

648
00:43:34,698 --> 00:43:36,283
是啊,我知道你瘋了

649
00:43:37,242 --> 00:43:40,996
(陰間大法師)

650
00:43:41,163 --> 00:43:44,875
(陰間大法師長眠於此)

651
00:43:52,049 --> 00:43:53,217
天啊,是你

652
00:43:53,383 --> 00:43:55,177
我以為一頭駝鹿要攻擊我

653
00:43:55,802 --> 00:43:57,387
我正在練習吐納

654
00:43:58,055 --> 00:43:59,681
你試試看每天都看到鬼

655
00:44:01,391 --> 00:44:02,392
亞斯翠!

656
00:44:03,519 --> 00:44:04,353
讓她去吧

657
00:44:04,561 --> 00:44:06,021
天啊,她恨死我了

658
00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:10,526
她還是覺得理查的死是我的錯

659
00:44:10,692 --> 00:44:12,444
你也怪我害死你媽

660
00:44:12,611 --> 00:44:14,196
她又沒有死

661
00:44:14,363 --> 00:44:17,199
我也沒有怪你,我恨你

662
00:44:17,366 --> 00:44:18,283
這不一樣

663
00:44:18,450 --> 00:44:19,826
你對我並不好

664
00:44:19,993 --> 00:44:22,079
對啊,你根本不把我當人看

665
00:44:22,829 --> 00:44:24,289
但我們和好了,不是嗎?

666
00:44:24,456 --> 00:44:28,627
是啊,那是在我出名以後
我們才變得比較親密

667
00:44:28,794 --> 00:44:30,629
不對,我在那之前就開始喜歡你

668
00:44:35,509 --> 00:44:37,010
你又發出恐怖的吐納聲了!

669
00:44:37,135 --> 00:44:38,095
這很有效啊

670
00:44:38,262 --> 00:44:40,639
我在倖存者靜修營認識羅瑞時學會的

671
00:44:40,806 --> 00:44:41,640
當然了

672
00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:44,268
理查死後我驚嚇過度

673
00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:46,311
我必須處理未了結的情感

674
00:44:46,478 --> 00:44:49,398
羅瑞也才在滑雪意外中失去未婚妻

675
00:44:49,565 --> 00:44:51,775
我們參加同一個悲傷輔導團體

676
00:44:51,942 --> 00:44:53,610
然後我們來電了

677
00:44:53,777 --> 00:44:54,653
是啊

678
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:57,531
你的人生跌到谷底勾起他的慾望

679
00:44:57,698 --> 00:44:59,408
這與他無關

680
00:44:59,575 --> 00:45:01,577
亞斯翠在閣樓找到這個

681
00:45:02,578 --> 00:45:03,537
所以咧?

682
00:45:03,704 --> 00:45:04,788
所以咧?

683
00:45:05,330 --> 00:45:07,541
我時不時會感覺到他的存在

684
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:09,168
他好像潛伏在哪裡

685
00:45:09,334 --> 00:45:10,586
卻碰不到我

686
00:45:10,752 --> 00:45:11,920
但是最近...

687
00:45:12,087 --> 00:45:13,589
我又看到他

688
00:45:14,256 --> 00:45:17,092
我真希望那只是我的幻想
但現在又這樣?

689
00:45:17,676 --> 00:45:19,511
莉蒂亞,你得奪回你的人生

690
00:45:19,678 --> 00:45:22,472
甩掉那些寄生蟲,甩掉這傢伙

691
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:26,185
那麼多年前折磨我的那個
討厭的暗黑小女孩跑去哪了?

692
00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:28,478
你該去找她了

693
00:45:43,118 --> 00:45:44,119
- 嘿
- 嘿

694
00:45:50,417 --> 00:45:51,960
- 傑瑞米,是你嗎?
- 是啊

695
00:45:52,961 --> 00:45:54,588
媽,我要跟一個朋友去樓上

696
00:45:54,755 --> 00:45:55,881
好喔,玩得開心

697
00:46:00,636 --> 00:46:01,720
- 嘿,爸
- 兒子

698
00:46:01,887 --> 00:46:04,473
他被困在...他只待在那房間

699
00:46:15,692 --> 00:46:17,611
你有好多1990年代黑膠唱片

700
00:46:17,778 --> 00:46:18,904
在哪找到的,eBay?

701
00:46:19,404 --> 00:46:21,657
不是,我常去老唱片行

702
00:46:21,823 --> 00:46:23,784
我不相信我摸不到的東西

703
00:46:27,371 --> 00:46:29,665
(剛逝世者手冊)

704
00:46:29,831 --> 00:46:31,041
《剛逝世者手冊》

705
00:46:31,208 --> 00:46:33,544
我在鎮上的庭院拍賣會上買的

706
00:46:33,919 --> 00:46:35,295
{\an8}插畫挺噁心的

707
00:46:35,462 --> 00:46:36,547
(699法規,私闖來世)

708
00:46:36,713 --> 00:46:38,549
{\an8}看起來像是我媽會寫的爛書

709
00:46:40,342 --> 00:46:41,301
{\an8}你爸媽是怎麼回事?

710
00:46:41,468 --> 00:46:46,932
{\an8}我媽每天都在廚房靠烘焙紓壓

711
00:46:47,307 --> 00:46:49,726
{\an8}我爸以前在造紙廠工作
但他後來發生意外...

712
00:46:49,893 --> 00:46:51,562
(召喚沙蟲)

713
00:46:51,728 --> 00:46:53,814
...現在是全職的沙發馬鈴薯

714
00:46:53,981 --> 00:46:56,441
我等不及要離開這個破小鎮

715
00:46:58,694 --> 00:47:00,696
你一定去過很多地方

716
00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:03,198
跟一個有名的老媽旅行

717
00:47:03,365 --> 00:47:04,408
並沒有

718
00:47:05,117 --> 00:47:07,286
我爸比較喜歡旅行

719
00:47:07,452 --> 00:47:08,370
我們以前有遠大計畫

720
00:47:08,537 --> 00:47:10,956
要去地表最詭異的十大地點

721
00:47:11,164 --> 00:47:14,209
像是倫敦塔、德古拉城堡和...

722
00:47:15,377 --> 00:47:18,297
我們一直沒有機會去

723
00:47:18,630 --> 00:47:19,631
發生什麼事?

724
00:47:20,424 --> 00:47:22,176
一場沈船事故

725
00:47:22,759 --> 00:47:25,721
他們在亞馬遜河搜索一星期
一直沒找到他的屍體

726
00:47:29,433 --> 00:47:30,517
你真的很想念他

727
00:47:32,519 --> 00:47:33,937
是啊

728
00:47:34,104 --> 00:47:37,065
至少我希望有機會向他道別

729
00:47:37,232 --> 00:47:38,066
你媽不能...

730
00:47:38,817 --> 00:47:40,194
不知道,像是...

731
00:47:40,319 --> 00:47:41,403
跟他通靈或是...

732
00:47:42,779 --> 00:47:43,947
她說她看不到他

733
00:47:44,114 --> 00:47:44,948
為什麼?

734
00:47:45,115 --> 00:47:46,033
因為她是冒牌貨

735
00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:48,911
你這麼說她太嚴厲了

736
00:47:51,330 --> 00:47:52,623
明天就是萬聖節

737
00:47:52,789 --> 00:47:55,042
我知道,以前是我最愛的節日

738
00:47:56,043 --> 00:48:00,047
我爸會想盡辦法做出
最不符合我年紀的裝扮

739
00:48:00,464 --> 00:48:04,009
我小二那年就被打扮成
孟克的名畫《吶喊》

740
00:48:04,218 --> 00:48:06,136
- 哇,好怪喔
- 對啊,超怪的

741
00:48:07,012 --> 00:48:09,223
但我媽現在偏偏要在那天結婚

742
00:48:09,348 --> 00:48:10,641
大概會變成我最討厭的節日

743
00:48:11,225 --> 00:48:12,392
婚禮幾點開始?

744
00:48:12,559 --> 00:48:14,686
午夜,巫異時刻

745
00:48:14,853 --> 00:48:16,438
未來繼父的爛點子

746
00:48:18,106 --> 00:48:20,943
你不如早點...

747
00:48:22,236 --> 00:48:23,195
過來?

748
00:48:24,613 --> 00:48:25,989
我們可以...

749
00:48:26,156 --> 00:48:30,035
我們可以叫披薩和發糖果

750
00:48:31,870 --> 00:48:34,873
如果你想要的話,我是說...

751
00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:36,917
別有壓力

752
00:48:40,963 --> 00:48:42,881
怎麼會有詭異的鳥類標本?

753
00:48:43,882 --> 00:48:46,093
我爸是賞鳥愛好者

754
00:48:46,802 --> 00:48:49,263
我聯絡了你在蘇活區最愛的古著店

755
00:48:50,097 --> 00:48:53,976
他們寄了幾件復古婚紗
今天晚點應該會到

756
00:48:54,142 --> 00:48:55,602
太好了,謝了

757
00:48:57,271 --> 00:48:58,564
還有...

758
00:48:58,730 --> 00:49:02,401
有人可能把我們的大新聞
透露給幾家新聞媒體

759
00:49:03,277 --> 00:49:05,487
我們可以獨家授權賣出照片

760
00:49:05,654 --> 00:49:06,780
順便宣傳電視節目

761
00:49:06,947 --> 00:49:09,950
我真的很興奮我們要結婚

762
00:49:10,117 --> 00:49:12,744
但能不能一切從簡?

763
00:49:13,537 --> 00:49:15,956
好,當然了

764
00:49:16,123 --> 00:49:16,957
那是你的大日子

765
00:49:17,541 --> 00:49:18,709
安安,隨便啦

766
00:49:20,878 --> 00:49:21,962
{\an8}(性感熟男尋找紅髮辣妹)

767
00:49:22,129 --> 00:49:24,423
唷,我全身都在發燒!

768
00:49:30,095 --> 00:49:31,638
莉蒂亞?

769
00:49:32,431 --> 00:49:34,766
我要你滾出我的人生!

770
00:49:34,933 --> 00:49:35,934
聽到了嗎?

771
00:49:36,727 --> 00:49:37,728
莉蒂亞?

772
00:49:39,104 --> 00:49:40,939
你在對誰大吼?

773
00:49:42,024 --> 00:49:45,194
記得我們去看的伴侶諮商師
葛利曼醫生嗎?

774
00:49:45,611 --> 00:49:47,446
他說我有一個秘密

775
00:49:47,613 --> 00:49:50,115
我必須面對它,我們才能有進展

776
00:49:50,824 --> 00:49:52,075
他說得對

777
00:49:52,576 --> 00:49:54,828
我要把這秘密告訴你

778
00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:58,040
我先警告你,這聽起來會很瘋狂

779
00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:00,584
你OK嗎?

780
00:50:01,251 --> 00:50:04,254
當然了,我很樂意
讓我們一起克服這個障礙

781
00:50:04,421 --> 00:50:06,298
好吧,等我一下

782
00:50:10,093 --> 00:50:11,428
在我少女時期

783
00:50:11,595 --> 00:50:16,391
有個搗蛋惡魔騷擾我們全家
還想強迫我嫁給他

784
00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:19,937
好讓他回到現實世界,永遠回來

785
00:50:20,103 --> 00:50:22,314
本來我以為已經永遠擺脫他

786
00:50:22,481 --> 00:50:24,775
但是最近我又看到他

787
00:50:25,150 --> 00:50:27,361
現在,他真的回來了

788
00:50:27,486 --> 00:50:30,739
我不知道為什麼,他是怎麼做到的
或是我該怎麼辦

789
00:50:30,906 --> 00:50:32,908
{\an8}(立刻來電!陰間大法師)

790
00:50:33,617 --> 00:50:35,536
好吧,你是說這個陰間大法師...

791
00:50:35,702 --> 00:50:36,870
別召喚他的名字!

792
00:50:37,037 --> 00:50:40,832
如果你連續召喚他三次,他就會出現

793
00:50:42,334 --> 00:50:44,419
好吧,所以這個...

794
00:50:45,754 --> 00:50:48,715
惡靈很顯然是你
未解的創傷建構出來的

795
00:50:48,882 --> 00:50:51,468
你必須面對這個創傷
否則只會變得更糟

796
00:50:51,635 --> 00:50:54,930
他不是我建構出來的
他是真正的惡靈

797
00:50:56,598 --> 00:50:58,100
我知道這對你來說是一大步

798
00:50:59,017 --> 00:51:00,561
但用葛利曼醫生的話來說

799
00:51:00,978 --> 00:51:02,563
我要推你一把

800
00:51:04,982 --> 00:51:06,400
陰間大法師...

801
00:51:11,154 --> 00:51:13,991
(你們的感情觸礁?
頭號伴侶諮商師來也!)

802
00:51:14,324 --> 00:51:15,951
發生了什麼事?

803
00:51:16,118 --> 00:51:17,536
我們在模型裡面

804
00:51:18,245 --> 00:51:19,746
不可能

805
00:51:23,834 --> 00:51:24,793
搞什麼鬼?

806
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,962
我叫你不要召喚他的名字

807
00:51:30,549 --> 00:51:32,801
各位先生女士,莉蒂亞迪茲!

808
00:51:32,968 --> 00:51:34,761
永遠別召換他的名字

809
00:51:34,928 --> 00:51:37,431
永遠都不准!我們得快走,馬上!

810
00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:38,724
陰間大法師...

811
00:51:42,311 --> 00:51:43,270
- 那是...
- 陰間大法師

812
00:51:47,566 --> 00:51:51,195
首先,我要你們知道
這是安全的地方,好嗎?

813
00:51:51,361 --> 00:51:53,363
請勇敢發言,不要害怕

814
00:51:53,530 --> 00:51:55,908
我感覺這裡有個吸血蟲
但待會再處理

815
00:51:56,241 --> 00:51:57,075
挖掘內心深處

816
00:51:57,242 --> 00:51:58,160
讓我們肝膽相照吧

817
00:51:58,327 --> 00:52:00,204
好嗎?誰想要先來?

818
00:52:01,538 --> 00:52:02,706
好吧,我先來

819
00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:08,587
看吧,我什麼骯髒事都願意做

820
00:52:08,754 --> 00:52:11,715
你們這兩個大人得找到內心的小屁孩

821
00:52:11,882 --> 00:52:13,383
我的小屁孩很快就會來

822
00:52:28,899 --> 00:52:31,068
大家都說他的眼睛像我

823
00:52:31,235 --> 00:52:33,195
老實說,我看不出來

824
00:52:34,112 --> 00:52:35,113
滾吧,小屁孩

825
00:52:39,076 --> 00:52:39,952
你只是我未解的創傷

826
00:52:40,369 --> 00:52:41,495
你只是我未解的創傷

827
00:52:41,662 --> 00:52:43,497
你只是我腦海中的幻想

828
00:52:43,622 --> 00:52:44,498
是喔?

829
00:52:44,623 --> 00:52:46,208
那這也是你腦海中的幻想嗎?

830
00:52:52,965 --> 00:52:54,216
戀腳癖

831
00:52:54,383 --> 00:52:55,801
就跟他老爸一樣

832
00:53:03,225 --> 00:53:05,686
那個跟蹤狂就是你

833
00:53:05,853 --> 00:53:06,937
如果跟蹤代表

834
00:53:07,104 --> 00:53:08,647
想要再娶我這一生的摯愛

835
00:53:08,814 --> 00:53:11,108
那我就有罪,過來吧

836
00:53:11,275 --> 00:53:12,651
回家...!

837
00:53:26,832 --> 00:53:27,833
(陰間大法師長眠於此)

838
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,753
無論你去哪裡,無論你做什麼

839
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:36,341
我都會在這裡等你

840
00:53:39,636 --> 00:53:40,888
發生什麼事?

841
00:53:41,054 --> 00:53:42,639
我剛剛做了超瘋狂的夢

842
00:53:44,141 --> 00:53:46,602
是啊,我們應該不要再吃藥

843
00:53:49,271 --> 00:53:50,564
(活體貨物)

844
00:53:50,689 --> 00:53:51,899
(小心處理,活體爬蟲類)

845
00:53:55,235 --> 00:53:56,069
蛇?

846
00:53:56,695 --> 00:53:57,988
其實是毒蝰

847
00:53:58,780 --> 00:54:00,157
牠們是不是很美?

848
00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:01,450
給羅瑞的結婚禮物?

849
00:54:02,701 --> 00:54:04,578
太遲了,牠們的毒牙被拔掉了

850
00:54:04,745 --> 00:54:07,539
保證無害,而且是給我的

851
00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:08,582
在古埃及

852
00:54:08,707 --> 00:54:12,419
女王會在法老的墓前用蛇舉行儀式

853
00:54:12,586 --> 00:54:14,338
象徵永恆的愛

854
00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:15,339
你確定嗎?

855
00:54:15,923 --> 00:54:18,258
我讀到牠們在冥界一直威脅太陽神拉

856
00:54:18,425 --> 00:54:19,593
而且代表完全的混亂

857
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,679
所以學校需要多教藝術,少教閱讀

858
00:54:22,846 --> 00:54:24,348
你的願望實現了,我們要離開

859
00:54:24,515 --> 00:54:26,850
去收拾你的東西,我開車送你回學校

860
00:54:27,017 --> 00:54:28,185
等等,發生什麼事?

861
00:54:28,352 --> 00:54:30,437
就算我跟你說你也不會相信

862
00:54:30,604 --> 00:54:32,773
我會付錢給一整隊搬家公司

863
00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:34,816
把所有的東西都帶回曼哈頓

864
00:54:34,983 --> 00:54:38,403
除了那個模型,我們得把它砍爛燒掉

865
00:54:39,905 --> 00:54:41,615
你要取消婚禮?

866
00:54:45,327 --> 00:54:46,954
那個討厭鬼又做了什麼?

867
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:50,541
不是羅瑞,是陰間大法師,他在這裡

868
00:54:50,707 --> 00:54:54,336
就在模型裡面,我看到他
羅瑞也看見他,但他以為那是夢

869
00:54:54,503 --> 00:54:55,796
等等,我們還不能離開

870
00:54:57,506 --> 00:55:00,551
我明天跟我認識的一個男生有約

871
00:55:02,261 --> 00:55:04,680
你怎麼會有時間認識男生?

872
00:55:04,847 --> 00:55:05,931
你就有時間結婚

873
00:55:06,723 --> 00:55:08,392
她沒那個意思,但報應來得真快

874
00:55:09,142 --> 00:55:11,937
我在騎腳踏車,撞壞他家的圍欄

875
00:55:12,104 --> 00:55:12,938
我們開始聊天

876
00:55:13,105 --> 00:55:14,857
然後他邀請我去他家過萬聖節

877
00:55:17,276 --> 00:55:18,277
媽,我能去嗎?

878
00:55:20,195 --> 00:55:21,196
拜託了?

879
00:55:24,533 --> 00:55:28,954
我不會讓那個害人精再次騷擾我們家

880
00:55:29,121 --> 00:55:31,748
誰都不准進去
也不准召喚他的名字!

881
00:55:32,457 --> 00:55:33,500
我們會好好的,對吧?

882
00:55:34,293 --> 00:55:36,128
媽,快點!我要遲到了

883
00:55:49,850 --> 00:55:50,851
不給糖就搗蛋!

884
00:55:55,856 --> 00:55:58,150
- 你確定地址對嗎?
- 確定

885
00:55:58,317 --> 00:55:59,526
傑佛遜街125號

886
00:56:00,944 --> 00:56:02,279
別瞧不起人家,好嗎?

887
00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:04,114
他爸剛在工作中發生意外

888
00:56:04,281 --> 00:56:05,282
他們全家過得很辛苦

889
00:56:05,449 --> 00:56:06,325
不給糖就搗蛋!

890
00:56:06,909 --> 00:56:07,910
他很帥耶

891
00:56:09,203 --> 00:56:11,538
- 你在幹嘛?
- 我要去跟他爸媽打招呼

892
00:56:11,705 --> 00:56:12,539
真假?

893
00:56:13,248 --> 00:56:14,249
他不是我的玩伴

894
00:56:14,416 --> 00:56:16,084
我們又不是六歲,不會發生什麼事

895
00:56:16,251 --> 00:56:18,212
好啦,你說得對

896
00:56:18,378 --> 00:56:21,298
玩得開心,我十點來接你

897
00:56:21,465 --> 00:56:22,549
晚一秒都不行

898
00:56:27,262 --> 00:56:28,263
來啊,快點!

899
00:56:29,848 --> 00:56:31,433
不給糖就搗蛋!

900
00:56:49,576 --> 00:56:51,662
我搜刮了地下室

901
00:56:52,329 --> 00:56:53,872
我忘了還有這麼多東西

902
00:56:54,623 --> 00:56:55,707
對啊,你真是準備周全

903
00:56:55,874 --> 00:56:56,875
是啊

904
00:56:57,709 --> 00:56:59,586
我喜歡你打扮成詹姆斯狄恩

905
00:56:59,753 --> 00:57:00,587
謝謝

906
00:57:00,754 --> 00:57:03,590
但我爸媽覺得我比較像
《歡樂時光》的里奇

907
00:57:04,675 --> 00:57:06,343
你的裝扮超讚的

908
00:57:07,344 --> 00:57:08,846
你到底打扮成誰?

909
00:57:09,221 --> 00:57:10,222
瑪麗居禮

910
00:57:12,266 --> 00:57:14,810
兩屆諾貝爾獎得主
法國物理學家和女性主義偶像

911
00:57:15,143 --> 00:57:17,896
她發現了輻射,對吧?

912
00:57:18,063 --> 00:57:19,398
- 對啊
- 是啊

913
00:57:19,565 --> 00:57:21,608
她的研究害死她,自己卻不知道

914
00:57:21,775 --> 00:57:26,238
以一個因為輻射中毒而死的人來說

915
00:57:26,405 --> 00:57:28,490
你看起來很美

916
00:57:30,242 --> 00:57:33,120
我帶了一些糖果,其實很多

917
00:57:33,287 --> 00:57:36,206
可能太多了,但我們可以,不知道

918
00:57:36,373 --> 00:57:38,208
狂吃剩下來的,如果你想要的話

919
00:57:38,375 --> 00:57:40,460
或者可以現在就發糖果

920
00:57:40,627 --> 00:57:41,879
如果...

921
00:57:42,045 --> 00:57:43,714
- 你想要的話
- 好啊

922
00:57:44,339 --> 00:57:46,383
其實我有件事要坦白說

923
00:57:47,718 --> 00:57:51,305
我寧願跟你待在這裡

924
00:57:53,932 --> 00:57:54,808
好啊

925
00:57:55,559 --> 00:57:56,393
好喔

926
00:57:57,269 --> 00:57:58,270
那也可以

927
00:58:31,011 --> 00:58:32,888
拜託別抓狂

928
00:58:33,055 --> 00:58:33,889
你是什麼?

929
00:58:34,932 --> 00:58:35,849
你不知道嗎?

930
00:58:37,601 --> 00:58:39,895
亞斯翠,你真的不用害怕

931
00:58:41,855 --> 00:58:42,648
你是個鬼魂

932
00:58:47,069 --> 00:58:48,737
我媽說的是實話,可惡!

933
00:58:48,904 --> 00:58:52,115
我爸媽以前每次吵架
我都會偷拿我爸的啤酒

934
00:58:52,282 --> 00:58:54,117
然後躲在樹屋裡

935
00:58:54,284 --> 00:58:55,369
有一天...

936
00:58:56,870 --> 00:58:57,913
我不小心滑倒

937
00:58:58,080 --> 00:58:59,081
然後摔下來

938
00:59:00,207 --> 00:59:01,458
那是多久以前的事?

939
00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:04,795
23年,5個月又14天
但誰會去算?

940
00:59:04,962 --> 00:59:06,505
我被困在這房子23年了

941
00:59:06,672 --> 00:59:08,966
我最遠只能走到那棵樹

942
00:59:09,758 --> 00:59:12,886
也只能虛度光陰,看著世界流逝

943
00:59:13,011 --> 00:59:14,513
但你卻出現了

944
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:15,889
你也看得到我

945
00:59:17,808 --> 00:59:19,434
我獨自一人太久了

946
00:59:19,601 --> 00:59:21,603
就像手榴彈在我的腦袋裡爆炸

947
00:59:21,770 --> 00:59:22,771
真是太棒了

948
00:59:23,689 --> 00:59:24,690
你太棒了

949
00:59:24,982 --> 00:59:27,985
- 我該走了
- 亞斯翠,我知道這很瘋狂

950
00:59:29,319 --> 00:59:30,946
但我真的很喜歡你

951
00:59:31,113 --> 00:59:32,906
我想要我們在一起

952
00:59:34,241 --> 00:59:35,200
怎麼能?

953
00:59:35,367 --> 00:59:38,245
你死了,我還活著,根本行不通

954
00:59:39,288 --> 00:59:40,205
這個嘛...

955
00:59:40,789 --> 00:59:42,624
要是我告訴你

956
00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:44,793
我找到回來的方法呢?

957
00:59:45,919 --> 00:59:47,796
再當一個活人

958
00:59:47,963 --> 00:59:48,964
全都在這本書裡

959
00:59:50,215 --> 00:59:51,300
{\an8}每個人死後都會拿到一本

960
00:59:51,466 --> 00:59:52,759
這有點複雜

961
00:59:53,468 --> 00:59:57,389
但只有靠活人幫忙,我才能做到

962
00:59:58,849 --> 01:00:01,393
你真的可以把我的生命還給我

963
01:00:01,935 --> 01:00:04,521
我不知道耶,也許可以問問我媽?

964
01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:06,899
因為她才是亡靈專家,對吧?

965
01:00:07,065 --> 01:00:08,317
是啊,我...

966
01:00:08,483 --> 01:00:12,362
我覺得她會給你一百萬個理由遠離我

967
01:00:12,529 --> 01:00:14,364
但我會給你一個理由幫助我

968
01:00:16,491 --> 01:00:18,577
你可以見到你爸

969
01:00:19,453 --> 01:00:20,537
再次見到他

970
01:00:35,469 --> 01:00:38,305
下週日第一次正式開放看屋

971
01:00:38,472 --> 01:00:40,098
然後就展開買家競標大戰

972
01:00:40,265 --> 01:00:41,350
羅瑞在哪?

973
01:00:41,517 --> 01:00:42,351
他去了超市

974
01:00:42,518 --> 01:00:45,229
把我買的糖果換成紅蘿蔔棒

975
01:00:45,395 --> 01:00:48,899
因為羅瑞是個掃興鬼
在萬聖節也一樣

976
01:00:49,274 --> 01:00:51,568
我要閃了,教堂見

977
01:00:51,944 --> 01:00:53,862
除非你要取消婚禮?

978
01:00:54,488 --> 01:00:55,447
不會啦,笛麗雅

979
01:00:56,323 --> 01:00:57,157
你要去哪裡?

980
01:00:57,324 --> 01:00:58,784
墓地

981
01:00:58,951 --> 01:01:00,994
跟我親愛老公的靈魂通靈

982
01:01:03,163 --> 01:01:04,998
我也要閃了

983
01:01:05,165 --> 01:01:09,169
我要當小小珍女童軍活動的
共同陪同家長

984
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:11,672
我們花了好幾個禮拜
才想出萬聖節裝扮的主題

985
01:01:11,839 --> 01:01:13,632
我們同意不扮成迪士尼人物

986
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:19,096
我們最像迪士尼人物的一次
就是亞斯翠扮成灰姑娘掛掉的老媽

987
01:01:20,430 --> 01:01:22,391
你絕對猜不到她們想扮成什麼

988
01:01:22,558 --> 01:01:23,767
水果沙拉

989
01:01:24,726 --> 01:01:26,103
有夠天才吧?

990
01:01:26,270 --> 01:01:28,146
超健康又不會冒犯任何人

991
01:01:29,106 --> 01:01:30,065
我要扮成...

992
01:01:30,774 --> 01:01:32,526
(房貸)

993
01:01:32,693 --> 01:01:34,528
“反向房貸”

994
01:01:34,695 --> 01:01:36,280
{\an8}就是反過來拼“房貸”

995
01:01:37,906 --> 01:01:38,866
{\an8}亞斯翠呢?

996
01:01:39,324 --> 01:01:41,493
她在約會,第一次約會

997
01:01:41,660 --> 01:01:44,121
我好像比她更緊張

998
01:01:44,288 --> 01:01:45,789
那個男生住在傑佛遜街

999
01:01:45,956 --> 01:01:47,207
別提起那條街

1000
01:01:48,125 --> 01:01:50,794
那裡有一個物件害我
沒有達到完美的銷售紀錄

1001
01:01:51,879 --> 01:01:52,754
是我自己的錯

1002
01:01:53,172 --> 01:01:55,549
那棟房子已經待售好多年了

1003
01:01:55,716 --> 01:01:58,177
但我以為只要賣掉那棟“謀殺凶宅”

1004
01:01:58,343 --> 01:01:59,553
就會是我最大的成就

1005
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:00,846
謀殺凶宅?

1006
01:02:01,722 --> 01:02:02,556
哪棟房子?

1007
01:02:03,682 --> 01:02:04,641
125號

1008
01:02:05,392 --> 01:02:08,896
我就是送亞斯翠去那裡
她去找一個叫傑瑞米的男生

1009
01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,857
傑瑞米費雪?

1010
01:02:12,024 --> 01:02:13,984
我不知道他姓什麼

1011
01:02:15,110 --> 01:02:16,737
噢,不可能是他

1012
01:02:16,904 --> 01:02:19,281
但傑瑞米費雪可不是好東西

1013
01:02:20,073 --> 01:02:22,618
他23年前親手殺了他爸媽

1014
01:02:23,452 --> 01:02:25,412
警察發現他躲在他的樹屋

1015
01:02:25,579 --> 01:02:28,415
當他們想把他揪出來
他跌下來,摔斷了脖子

1016
01:02:28,582 --> 01:02:29,791
當場死亡

1017
01:02:36,131 --> 01:02:38,175
只要這樣就能去到來世?

1018
01:02:38,425 --> 01:02:39,551
用粉筆畫一道門?

1019
01:02:40,636 --> 01:02:41,678
然後敲三下?

1020
01:02:41,845 --> 01:02:42,971
我只是照著上面說的做

1021
01:02:43,138 --> 01:02:44,139
遜斃了

1022
01:02:55,025 --> 01:02:56,777
也許沒那麼遜

1023
01:02:56,944 --> 01:02:58,278
我們可以就這樣走進去?

1024
01:02:58,820 --> 01:03:00,656
我可以,但因為你還活著

1025
01:03:00,822 --> 01:03:02,908
就得先念那個咒語

1026
01:03:05,369 --> 01:03:08,997
{\an8}“我將從活人的世界進入...”

1027
01:03:21,343 --> 01:03:24,805
{\an8}(出售中,珍巴特菲爾德負責銷售)

1028
01:03:25,722 --> 01:03:26,723
亞斯翠!

1029
01:03:32,396 --> 01:03:33,397
傑瑞米,那是你嗎?

1030
01:03:40,529 --> 01:03:43,240
{\an8}“好讓另一個人重獲新生”

1031
01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:45,909
好了

1032
01:03:46,076 --> 01:03:48,328
我覺得奏效了

1033
01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:49,538
亞斯翠!

1034
01:03:53,041 --> 01:03:53,959
我們去找你爸吧

1035
01:03:57,880 --> 01:03:59,298
亞斯翠!不!

1036
01:04:02,050 --> 01:04:03,051
好吧

1037
01:04:17,858 --> 01:04:19,693
好吧,你先在這裡等

1038
01:04:19,860 --> 01:04:21,945
我去問問我們該去哪裡

1039
01:04:22,112 --> 01:04:23,822
記得要問我爸在哪裡

1040
01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:26,617
不好意思,抱歉

1041
01:04:28,410 --> 01:04:29,328
聖誕快樂

1042
01:04:29,494 --> 01:04:30,829
聖誕快樂

1043
01:04:32,623 --> 01:04:33,540
謝了

1044
01:04:33,707 --> 01:04:35,292
好吧,我們得去入境處

1045
01:04:36,668 --> 01:04:39,671
(非出口)

1046
01:04:42,382 --> 01:04:45,219
不好意思,我能跟經理談談嗎?

1047
01:04:45,385 --> 01:04:48,347
我不趕快回家,我老婆會剝了我的皮

1048
01:04:48,514 --> 01:04:50,682
真貼心,拿個號碼牌坐著等

1049
01:04:56,855 --> 01:04:58,065
哇,老兄

1050
01:05:02,861 --> 01:05:05,322
來世的力量

1051
01:05:05,489 --> 01:05:09,952
接受我的查爾斯
就像我接受他的離去

1052
01:05:10,118 --> 01:05:11,119
{\an8}我還沒有接受

1053
01:05:11,870 --> 01:05:12,871
{\an8}我永遠都不會接受

1054
01:05:13,830 --> 01:05:15,749
{\an8}悲傷沒有保存期限

1055
01:05:15,916 --> 01:05:17,501
{\an8}(查爾斯迪茲之墓
父親、丈夫、賞鳥人)

1056
01:05:17,668 --> 01:05:18,669
{\an8}噢,那很好

1057
01:05:19,461 --> 01:05:23,048
悲傷沒有保存期限

1058
01:05:23,257 --> 01:05:24,800
商業界巨擘

1059
01:05:24,967 --> 01:05:26,260
那斯達克騎士

1060
01:05:26,385 --> 01:05:30,514
都認為他值得進入靈界的大門

1061
01:05:30,681 --> 01:05:33,058
你已死去,吾王

1062
01:05:33,225 --> 01:05:37,062
但憑著永恆之愛天使的祝福

1063
01:05:37,980 --> 01:05:40,774
我,你的未亡女王

1064
01:05:40,941 --> 01:05:43,277
將驕傲地繼承你的...

1065
01:05:48,574 --> 01:05:50,325
- 謝謝
- 拿去吧,謝謝

1066
01:05:51,577 --> 01:05:52,786
- 好可怕
- 親愛的,沒事吧?

1067
01:05:52,953 --> 01:05:53,912
你看起來有點狂躁

1068
01:05:54,079 --> 01:05:55,122
只是婚禮前緊張

1069
01:05:55,289 --> 01:05:57,958
我要去試穿婚紗,但不要上來

1070
01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:00,419
在婚禮前看到我會帶來厄運

1071
01:06:00,586 --> 01:06:01,587
好喔

1072
01:06:03,630 --> 01:06:07,050
- 哈囉,是誰在胡搞瞎搞?
- 不給糖就搗蛋!

1073
01:06:07,217 --> 01:06:08,051
不給糖就搗蛋!

1074
01:06:08,218 --> 01:06:09,595
拿去吧

1075
01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:10,971
- 蘋果...
- 謝謝你!

1076
01:06:11,138 --> 01:06:14,683
紅蘿蔔棒和黃金葡萄乾
沒人喜歡又大隻又胖的小丑

1077
01:06:18,478 --> 01:06:20,063
真不敢相信我要這麼做

1078
01:06:21,565 --> 01:06:24,234
陰間大法師...

1079
01:06:37,247 --> 01:06:39,333
(陰間大法師)

1080
01:06:53,597 --> 01:06:55,390
陰間大法師回來了

1081
01:06:57,559 --> 01:06:59,019
{\an8}我要你告訴我這代表什麼

1082
01:06:59,478 --> 01:07:00,896
讓我看看,好嗎?

1083
01:07:01,939 --> 01:07:04,358
長話短說,你女兒完蛋了

1084
01:07:04,525 --> 01:07:06,360
她決定和那個男生交換生命

1085
01:07:06,485 --> 01:07:09,446
他可以回來,她卻永遠被困在陰間

1086
01:07:09,613 --> 01:07:11,365
搭上單程的靈魂列車

1087
01:07:11,532 --> 01:07:12,699
- 靈魂列車?
- 沒錯

1088
01:07:12,866 --> 01:07:15,202
終點站是死後世界

1089
01:07:15,369 --> 01:07:16,870
她不能搭上靈魂列車

1090
01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:19,122
你得把我弄進去,好讓我把她救出來

1091
01:07:19,289 --> 01:07:22,376
我能把你弄進去,但我有交換條件

1092
01:07:22,501 --> 01:07:23,961
當然了,你想要什麼?

1093
01:07:24,586 --> 01:07:26,505
我有個前妻,瞭嗎?

1094
01:07:26,672 --> 01:07:28,715
她是個肖婆,雖然我們分了

1095
01:07:28,882 --> 01:07:29,967
但她有點黏人

1096
01:07:30,133 --> 01:07:31,468
要是我能永遠甩掉她

1097
01:07:31,635 --> 01:07:32,553
你要我嫁給你

1098
01:07:33,053 --> 01:07:34,179
我還以為你不會開口

1099
01:07:34,346 --> 01:07:36,473
我怎麼知道你會說話算話?

1100
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,308
我以死去母親的靈魂發誓

1101
01:07:38,851 --> 01:07:39,685
慘了

1102
01:07:41,770 --> 01:07:42,646
好吧

1103
01:07:42,813 --> 01:07:44,773
你幫我救出我女兒,我就嫁給你

1104
01:07:44,940 --> 01:07:46,108
我要你簽下協議書

1105
01:07:46,650 --> 01:07:47,568
把手給我

1106
01:07:48,110 --> 01:07:49,194
來簽吧

1107
01:07:49,403 --> 01:07:50,654
(婚姻協議書
莉蒂亞迪茲,陰間大法師)

1108
01:07:52,281 --> 01:07:53,615
我一定會讓你幸福滿滿

1109
01:07:53,782 --> 01:07:55,993
夠了喔,你打算怎麼進去?

1110
01:08:02,791 --> 01:08:03,792
搞定

1111
01:08:06,086 --> 01:08:08,005
我們不能走前門

1112
01:08:20,975 --> 01:08:22,560
我們需要惡魔附身

1113
01:08:23,353 --> 01:08:25,479
個案管理員大罷工,等待室...

1114
01:08:25,647 --> 01:08:28,192
告訴陰間大法師這些人還在我家

1115
01:08:32,738 --> 01:08:34,781
喂?喂?

1116
01:08:36,325 --> 01:08:37,367
你們沒看到我們

1117
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:39,161
瞭嗎?

1118
01:08:40,370 --> 01:08:41,205
巴布

1119
01:08:41,537 --> 01:08:42,747
你和大夥兒站崗

1120
01:08:43,165 --> 01:08:44,166
誰都不准進來

1121
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:47,961
來吧,親愛的

1122
01:08:50,881 --> 01:08:53,926
{\an8}大夥兒!回去工作!

1123
01:09:08,232 --> 01:09:09,649
- 不給糖就搗蛋
- 不給糖就搗蛋

1124
01:09:09,816 --> 01:09:10,734
喂

1125
01:09:11,276 --> 01:09:12,528
一個人拿一個

1126
01:09:12,694 --> 01:09:13,904
要守信用喔

1127
01:09:14,071 --> 01:09:15,613
才怪,笨蛋

1128
01:09:22,453 --> 01:09:24,915
小朋友們,這次讓草莓先挑

1129
01:09:25,082 --> 01:09:25,999
別擠在一起

1130
01:09:38,220 --> 01:09:40,013
把手舉高,混蛋!

1131
01:09:40,180 --> 01:09:42,724
不然我就讓你腦袋開花!

1132
01:09:42,890 --> 01:09:43,934
報告,有人犯案

1133
01:09:44,100 --> 01:09:45,560
真是的

1134
01:09:46,435 --> 01:09:47,770
我演得太用力了

1135
01:09:47,938 --> 01:09:50,023
記住,別想太多

1136
01:09:50,189 --> 01:09:51,524
自然一點

1137
01:09:52,024 --> 01:09:53,151
一定要來真的

1138
01:09:54,152 --> 01:09:55,153
- 警告
- 奧嘉

1139
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,405
到底是怎麼回事?

1140
01:09:56,572 --> 01:09:59,074
有人違反699法規

1141
01:09:59,241 --> 01:10:02,995
你是說有個活人非法私闖來世?

1142
01:10:03,161 --> 01:10:04,413
...違反699法規

1143
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:07,791
該找來霹靂鬼小組了

1144
01:10:10,127 --> 01:10:13,380
我要你們搜捕兩名危險嫌犯

1145
01:10:13,547 --> 01:10:14,381
這個渣男

1146
01:10:15,007 --> 01:10:16,758
叫做陰間大法師

1147
01:10:17,593 --> 01:10:19,303
還有一個女的臭皮囊

1148
01:10:19,469 --> 01:10:21,388
{\an8}莉蒂亞迪茲

1149
01:10:21,722 --> 01:10:25,726
踹開每道門,挖遍每一座墳墓

1150
01:10:25,893 --> 01:10:30,189
{\an8}有必要的話,去翻土衛六的沙子

1151
01:10:30,355 --> 01:10:31,398
{\an8}各位

1152
01:10:31,815 --> 01:10:32,816
{\an8}(這是你們死後接受訓練的目的)

1153
01:10:32,983 --> 01:10:35,986
這是你們死後接受訓練的目的

1154
01:10:36,904 --> 01:10:38,447
千萬要記住

1155
01:10:38,614 --> 01:10:39,990
一定要來真的

1156
01:10:40,782 --> 01:10:41,617
讚啦!

1157
01:10:51,335 --> 01:10:52,628
搞什麼鬼?

1158
01:10:54,296 --> 01:10:55,297
我在哪...啥米?

1159
01:10:56,089 --> 01:10:59,176
不...不!

1160
01:11:00,677 --> 01:11:01,553
不!

1161
01:11:02,513 --> 01:11:03,597
不!

1162
01:11:04,431 --> 01:11:05,432
不好意思!

1163
01:11:06,391 --> 01:11:07,976
要是出錯了呢?

1164
01:11:08,143 --> 01:11:09,645
因為我不應該在這裡

1165
01:11:13,607 --> 01:11:16,443
(服務中)

1166
01:11:16,610 --> 01:11:18,070
真的假的?

1167
01:11:18,237 --> 01:11:20,447
我有全球入境計畫

1168
01:11:20,614 --> 01:11:21,990
有專屬櫃台嗎?

1169
01:11:23,867 --> 01:11:24,868
{\an8}(出境)

1170
01:11:25,035 --> 01:11:29,498
{\an8}8點35分開往死後世界列車準時出發

1171
01:11:29,665 --> 01:11:30,499
{\an8}下一個

1172
01:11:31,124 --> 01:11:33,794
站在標示位置,看著攝影機

1173
01:11:35,170 --> 01:11:37,047
說,“起司”

1174
01:11:39,091 --> 01:11:40,092
哇!

1175
01:11:41,051 --> 01:11:41,885
你還好吧?

1176
01:11:43,762 --> 01:11:46,223
不好,我覺得怪怪的

1177
01:11:46,390 --> 01:11:48,851
我覺得棒呆了,真沒想到

1178
01:11:49,017 --> 01:11:50,227
- 剛才是怎樣?
- 很簡單

1179
01:11:50,394 --> 01:11:53,313
記得我要你念的咒語嗎?

1180
01:11:54,481 --> 01:11:58,777
你同意和我交換生命

1181
01:11:59,570 --> 01:12:00,612
什麼?

1182
01:12:00,779 --> 01:12:02,739
我需要你的生命才能重獲自由

1183
01:12:04,449 --> 01:12:06,201
她有一張靈魂列車的單程票

1184
01:12:06,785 --> 01:12:08,745
直接開往死後世界

1185
01:12:08,912 --> 01:12:11,123
動作快點還能趕上8點35分班車

1186
01:12:11,290 --> 01:12:12,624
- 不!等等!
- 感激不盡

1187
01:12:13,834 --> 01:12:14,835
我沒有同意這麼做!

1188
01:12:16,211 --> 01:12:17,546
我要怎麼重返人間?

1189
01:12:17,713 --> 01:12:20,132
先拿去蓋章,11號窗口

1190
01:12:20,299 --> 01:12:23,093
在那之前生命交換只是暫時的

1191
01:12:25,554 --> 01:12:27,806
(入境處)

1192
01:12:28,140 --> 01:12:29,308
爸?

1193
01:12:29,474 --> 01:12:30,893
- 亞斯翠?
- 爸?

1194
01:12:31,059 --> 01:12:33,312
爸!救救我!

1195
01:12:33,478 --> 01:12:34,313
爸!

1196
01:12:34,479 --> 01:12:35,480
亞斯翠!

1197
01:12:36,523 --> 01:12:38,108
(請來電詢問優惠)

1198
01:12:38,275 --> 01:12:39,526
(別錯過大好機會)

1199
01:12:53,957 --> 01:12:56,126
就快了,吾愛

1200
01:12:56,293 --> 01:12:57,377
就快了

1201
01:13:15,354 --> 01:13:17,814
警告,違反699法規

1202
01:13:17,981 --> 01:13:18,815
安全,上吧

1203
01:13:18,982 --> 01:13:21,318
我們就像鴛鴦大盜,只是身上沒彈孔

1204
01:13:21,485 --> 01:13:22,444
你知道我們要去哪嗎?

1205
01:13:22,611 --> 01:13:23,737
你要沿著走廊

1206
01:13:23,904 --> 01:13:25,614
- 走到第九道門
- 違反699法規

1207
01:13:25,781 --> 01:13:28,033
直接搭上靈魂列車

1208
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:29,076
你要去哪裡?

1209
01:13:29,243 --> 01:13:30,869
我要先去上廁所

1210
01:13:39,127 --> 01:13:40,087
(出境)

1211
01:13:42,881 --> 01:13:43,924
(0835,死後世界,準點)

1212
01:13:44,091 --> 01:13:45,133
(0954,地獄烈焰,誤點)

1213
01:13:54,393 --> 01:13:58,939
(靈魂列車)

1214
01:13:59,106 --> 01:14:01,441
這是8點35分

1215
01:14:02,150 --> 01:14:03,735
前往死後世界的列車!

1216
01:14:05,445 --> 01:14:06,780
請上車

1217
01:14:06,905 --> 01:14:08,866
靈魂列車要出發了

1218
01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:18,709
不!

1219
01:14:19,918 --> 01:14:20,919
不!

1220
01:14:21,962 --> 01:14:23,547
好耶!

1221
01:14:26,425 --> 01:14:27,593
亞斯翠!

1222
01:14:27,759 --> 01:14:29,428
亞斯翠!

1223
01:14:30,679 --> 01:14:32,139
不!不要!

1224
01:14:32,306 --> 01:14:33,640
不!

1225
01:14:33,807 --> 01:14:34,725
拜託,不要!

1226
01:14:43,692 --> 01:14:45,694
嘿,一起搖擺吧

1227
01:14:46,111 --> 01:14:47,112
嘿!

1228
01:14:56,288 --> 01:14:57,664
亞斯翠!

1229
01:15:09,843 --> 01:15:11,428
- 慘了!
- 別動!

1230
01:15:12,095 --> 01:15:12,930
那邊

1231
01:15:13,096 --> 01:15:14,389
(緊急出口)

1232
01:15:17,059 --> 01:15:18,769
對了,我看到爸爸

1233
01:15:29,738 --> 01:15:31,156
我們在哪裡?

1234
01:15:31,323 --> 01:15:32,324
我也不知道

1235
01:15:35,202 --> 01:15:36,036
嘿,那是土星

1236
01:15:37,079 --> 01:15:39,456
我們一定是在它的衛星上面

1237
01:15:40,165 --> 01:15:41,792
吼,來世真是超亂來

1238
01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:06,024
沙蟲!快跑!

1239
01:16:14,074 --> 01:16:15,075
抓住我的手!

1240
01:16:22,207 --> 01:16:23,458
抓住!快啊!

1241
01:16:53,030 --> 01:16:54,448
你扮成瑪麗居禮

1242
01:16:54,615 --> 01:16:55,949
在她輻射中毒以後

1243
01:16:56,950 --> 01:16:58,952
- 對吧?
- 都是跟你學的

1244
01:17:01,371 --> 01:17:02,247
我們生了很棒的孩子

1245
01:17:03,123 --> 01:17:05,125
是啊,沒錯

1246
01:17:06,919 --> 01:17:07,794
過來

1247
01:17:11,089 --> 01:17:14,426
我知道你們看不到我
但我常常看到你們

1248
01:17:15,469 --> 01:17:17,930
我不想成為你們越走越遠的理由

1249
01:17:18,722 --> 01:17:19,556
你們需要彼此

1250
01:17:20,682 --> 01:17:22,226
你們讓彼此變得更好

1251
01:17:23,227 --> 01:17:24,269
一直都是這樣

1252
01:17:26,104 --> 01:17:28,106
警告!違反699法規

1253
01:17:28,273 --> 01:17:30,150
我們得回到冬河

1254
01:17:30,317 --> 01:17:32,152
亞斯翠奪回她的生命你們才能離開

1255
01:17:32,319 --> 01:17:34,738
- 警告!偵測到入侵者!
- 走吧

1256
01:17:36,448 --> 01:17:39,451
霹靂鬼小組找到缺口也封鎖住了

1257
01:17:39,618 --> 01:17:42,663
找到大法師先生或是那個臭皮囊嗎?

1258
01:17:42,829 --> 01:17:43,664
他們還在找

1259
01:17:43,830 --> 01:17:45,832
但找到可能有幫助的東東

1260
01:18:08,605 --> 01:18:09,606
{\an8}巴布?

1261
01:18:12,860 --> 01:18:14,778
{\an8}讓我告訴你接下來會怎樣

1262
01:18:14,945 --> 01:18:17,781
{\an8}你皺巴巴的嘴唇會從實招來

1263
01:18:17,948 --> 01:18:21,952
{\an8}不然我會把你的腦袋像核桃一樣敲碎

1264
01:18:22,119 --> 01:18:23,495
{\an8}陰間大法師在哪裡?

1265
01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:32,546
(營業中)

1266
01:18:38,594 --> 01:18:39,928
- 羅瑞?
- 神父

1267
01:18:40,095 --> 01:18:42,222
我到處都看到這些縮頭怪

1268
01:18:42,681 --> 01:18:45,893
別害怕,你的眼睛會看到奇怪東西

1269
01:18:46,059 --> 01:18:47,728
你充滿恐懼和顫慄嗎?

1270
01:18:47,895 --> 01:18:49,730
是啊!我嚇到剉屎

1271
01:18:51,398 --> 01:18:52,399
你來這裡幹嘛?

1272
01:18:52,566 --> 01:18:55,194
我在尋找迷途羔羊,帶他們重返光明

1273
01:18:55,611 --> 01:18:57,613
我開車載你去教堂

1274
01:19:04,119 --> 01:19:06,496
不給糖就搗蛋!

1275
01:19:07,664 --> 01:19:10,501
拍謝,我...馬上回來,我只是...

1276
01:19:10,667 --> 01:19:11,877
拍謝,我只是...

1277
01:19:12,961 --> 01:19:15,464
拍謝,我去參加婚禮要遲到了

1278
01:19:15,631 --> 01:19:18,008
我只有一個問題
我要怎麼離開這裡?

1279
01:19:18,175 --> 01:19:19,510
有人犯了一個大錯

1280
01:19:19,676 --> 01:19:21,970
我在休息,拿個號碼牌坐著等

1281
01:19:22,137 --> 01:19:23,055
不是啦,那些毒蝰...

1282
01:19:23,222 --> 01:19:24,973
毒牙被拔掉了,我多付了錢耶

1283
01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:26,934
親愛的,你掛了,好嗎?

1284
01:19:27,100 --> 01:19:28,894
拿個號碼牌,坐著等

1285
01:19:32,981 --> 01:19:36,360
這裡有誰有權力可以幫我嗎?

1286
01:19:37,027 --> 01:19:38,403
那句話以前有用嗎?

1287
01:19:38,570 --> 01:19:40,572
我沒有死!

1288
01:19:42,533 --> 01:19:45,035
你知道嗎?我老公在這裡
查爾斯迪茲

1289
01:19:45,202 --> 01:19:47,955
沒錯,他能解決問題
打給他,他能解決任何問題

1290
01:19:48,121 --> 01:19:49,623
他再也不行了

1291
01:19:49,790 --> 01:19:51,750
等等!我有很多人脈!

1292
01:19:53,085 --> 01:19:55,671
我有很多人脈!我就是名人!

1293
01:19:57,464 --> 01:19:58,841
沒辦法了

1294
01:19:59,007 --> 01:20:00,926
陰間大法師,噢不

1295
01:20:03,887 --> 01:20:04,930
陰間大法師

1296
01:20:07,474 --> 01:20:08,392
我來了

1297
01:20:09,226 --> 01:20:12,563
我瞭啦,你掛了就想跟我一起混

1298
01:20:12,729 --> 01:20:14,273
你能幫我找到查爾斯嗎?

1299
01:20:14,439 --> 01:20:16,149
然後帶我去貴賓室

1300
01:20:16,316 --> 01:20:17,526
- 沒問題
- 好吧

1301
01:20:17,693 --> 01:20:20,404
你要先幫我找到我的落跑新娘

1302
01:20:38,172 --> 01:20:39,006
他在哪裡?

1303
01:20:41,675 --> 01:20:43,093
快說

1304
01:21:14,666 --> 01:21:15,667
(入境處)

1305
01:21:15,834 --> 01:21:17,920
被叫到之前,請依序排隊

1306
01:21:19,838 --> 01:21:21,548
(出境)

1307
01:21:24,218 --> 01:21:25,427
別在那本護照上蓋章!

1308
01:21:29,681 --> 01:21:32,226
你來晚了,老兄

1309
01:21:32,392 --> 01:21:34,436
應該是杜斯妥也夫斯基說過...

1310
01:21:34,603 --> 01:21:35,646
{\an8}(算你倒楣!)

1311
01:21:35,812 --> 01:21:36,730
“再見不送,混蛋!”

1312
01:21:40,067 --> 01:21:41,568
這邊,跟我來

1313
01:21:47,074 --> 01:21:48,367
下一個!

1314
01:21:48,534 --> 01:21:51,537
警告!偵測到入侵者

1315
01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:53,247
這邊

1316
01:21:53,413 --> 01:21:56,375
有人違反699法規...

1317
01:21:56,542 --> 01:21:57,960
我只能走到這裡

1318
01:21:59,044 --> 01:22:00,587
- 好吧
- 我愛你

1319
01:22:00,754 --> 01:22:02,130
我也愛你,甜心

1320
01:22:03,423 --> 01:22:04,842
有個美好的人生

1321
01:22:05,592 --> 01:22:06,677
你們要互相照顧

1322
01:22:06,844 --> 01:22:07,928
好

1323
01:22:08,095 --> 01:22:09,429
- 以後再見
- 好

1324
01:22:31,577 --> 01:22:33,203
謝謝你救我一命

1325
01:22:35,414 --> 01:22:38,375
很抱歉我從來不相信你看得到鬼魂

1326
01:22:39,293 --> 01:22:40,961
我不知道,真的很抱歉

1327
01:22:43,881 --> 01:22:45,132
亞斯翠,我...

1328
01:22:45,299 --> 01:22:46,884
莉蒂亞!你遲到了!

1329
01:22:47,050 --> 01:22:48,552
我的天啊!我的婚禮!

1330
01:22:48,719 --> 01:22:50,095
我們就要開始了

1331
01:22:50,304 --> 01:22:51,889
等等,今晚發生這麼多事

1332
01:22:52,055 --> 01:22:53,182
你不必這麼做,你知道吧?

1333
01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,435
我知道,但如果我現在不做
永遠都不會做

1334
01:22:57,311 --> 01:22:58,812
但是你確定嗎?

1335
01:22:59,313 --> 01:23:01,732
羅瑞愛我,那就夠了

1336
01:23:02,900 --> 01:23:04,484
快啊,親愛的!快來!

1337
01:23:08,238 --> 01:23:10,532
我張開雙臂歡迎迷途羔羊回家

1338
01:23:10,699 --> 01:23:11,700
我的天啊!

1339
01:23:13,827 --> 01:23:15,162
我以為你臨時反悔了

1340
01:23:15,329 --> 01:23:18,081
怪我吧
她把我從地獄的約會救出來

1341
01:23:18,248 --> 01:23:19,416
這些人是誰?

1342
01:23:19,583 --> 01:23:21,460
只是幾個網紅而已

1343
01:23:21,627 --> 01:23:22,836
全都有五百萬粉絲

1344
01:23:23,003 --> 01:23:25,589
其中有一位Netflix高階主管

1345
01:23:25,756 --> 01:23:26,757
到底做不做?

1346
01:23:26,924 --> 01:23:28,634
當然了,你的婚紗呢?

1347
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,177
最重要的是我來了

1348
01:23:30,344 --> 01:23:31,929
讓我們直接宣誓吧

1349
01:23:32,095 --> 01:23:32,930
等等,笛麗雅呢?

1350
01:23:33,096 --> 01:23:34,264
唷!

1351
01:23:34,765 --> 01:23:36,016
她在這裡

1352
01:23:37,184 --> 01:23:38,393
她在婚禮前安撫我

1353
01:23:38,560 --> 01:23:39,895
我有點緊張

1354
01:23:40,062 --> 01:23:41,063
好了,滾吧

1355
01:23:41,396 --> 01:23:42,231
就是你

1356
01:23:43,232 --> 01:23:44,066
你是我夢裡的...

1357
01:23:45,025 --> 01:23:45,859
那個怪咖

1358
01:23:46,443 --> 01:23:49,363
其實更像是你的惡夢,不過謝了

1359
01:23:49,738 --> 01:23:50,739
你...

1360
01:23:52,407 --> 01:23:55,244
{\an8}我們的交換條件是
你永遠都不能召喚我的名字

1361
01:23:55,661 --> 01:23:56,578
{\an8}什麼條件?

1362
01:23:56,745 --> 01:23:57,746
{\an8}她為了救你答應的條件

1363
01:23:57,913 --> 01:23:59,373
{\an8}對了,你可以叫我“老爸”

1364
01:23:59,540 --> 01:24:00,707
莉蒂亞

1365
01:24:00,874 --> 01:24:02,251
你答應嫁給他?

1366
01:24:03,001 --> 01:24:05,712
我走投無路,那是唯一的選擇

1367
01:24:06,213 --> 01:24:07,673
莉蒂亞,這是怎麼回事?

1368
01:24:08,966 --> 01:24:09,967
{\an8}哇

1369
01:24:10,592 --> 01:24:11,426
超尷尬的

1370
01:24:12,845 --> 01:24:14,721
上次諮商後你都沒啥進展

1371
01:24:14,888 --> 01:24:16,640
所以我建議用藥物治療

1372
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:17,641
(吐真藥)

1373
01:24:17,766 --> 01:24:19,518
等你準備好,有話就要直說喔

1374
01:24:26,233 --> 01:24:28,026
我一直覺得你的表演都是假的

1375
01:24:28,485 --> 01:24:30,779
我從來都不信有鬼魂或幽靈

1376
01:24:30,946 --> 01:24:32,990
什麼?一直都不信?

1377
01:24:33,156 --> 01:24:34,616
那你為什麼想結婚?

1378
01:24:35,367 --> 01:24:36,285
為了錢!

1379
01:24:36,451 --> 01:24:39,121
我當你老公比當你經紀人賺的錢更多

1380
01:24:40,372 --> 01:24:42,207
我也從來沒有死掉的未婚妻

1381
01:24:42,708 --> 01:24:44,168
我會去倖存者靜修營

1382
01:24:44,334 --> 01:24:46,753
是為了認識弱女子然後利用她們

1383
01:24:47,588 --> 01:24:49,464
我遇見你就中了相互依存的樂透

1384
01:24:50,465 --> 01:24:52,092
現在來點物理治療怎樣?

1385
01:25:00,475 --> 01:25:03,645
多謝你們來參加這場特別的婚禮

1386
01:25:03,812 --> 01:25:06,315
但我們現在需要一點隱私

1387
01:25:32,716 --> 01:25:33,675
你想去哪裡,神父?

1388
01:25:43,477 --> 01:25:45,562
親愛的,我還有一個驚喜

1389
01:25:45,729 --> 01:25:46,772
這是發自內心的

1390
01:25:51,693 --> 01:25:55,656
春天從來不等我們,女孩

1391
01:25:55,822 --> 01:25:57,699
它總是先一步離開

1392
01:25:58,492 --> 01:26:02,788
我們只能跳著舞跟隨

1393
01:26:09,002 --> 01:26:13,382
就像在剝落的書頁之間與被愛情

1394
01:26:13,549 --> 01:26:15,801
滾燙和炙熱的熨斗輾壓之下的

1395
01:26:15,968 --> 01:26:18,387
那一件條紋長褲

1396
01:26:25,686 --> 01:26:29,064
麥克阿瑟公園在黑暗中慢慢融化

1397
01:26:29,523 --> 01:26:33,193
所有甜美的綠色糖霜都往下流淌

1398
01:26:33,694 --> 01:26:37,656
有人把蛋糕留在雨中

1399
01:26:37,823 --> 01:26:41,326
我想我再也受不了

1400
01:26:41,535 --> 01:26:43,996
因為它烤了這麼久

1401
01:26:44,162 --> 01:26:46,540
我也永遠不能再擁有

1402
01:26:47,040 --> 01:26:49,126
那份食譜

1403
01:26:49,293 --> 01:26:53,714
噢,不

1404
01:26:57,509 --> 01:27:00,470
我仍記得那件黃色棉質洋裝

1405
01:27:01,346 --> 01:27:03,557
在你雙膝周圍的地板

1406
01:27:03,849 --> 01:27:07,644
湧起浪潮般的泡沫

1407
01:27:13,984 --> 01:27:17,654
鳥兒宛如你手中柔嫩的嬰孩

1408
01:27:17,821 --> 01:27:19,823
老人家在大樹旁邊

1409
01:27:21,909 --> 01:27:24,119
下著跳棋

1410
01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:33,629
麥克阿瑟公園在黑暗中慢慢融化

1411
01:27:33,962 --> 01:27:37,633
所有甜美的綠色糖霜都往下流淌

1412
01:27:38,175 --> 01:27:41,762
有人把蛋糕留在雨中

1413
01:27:42,179 --> 01:27:45,516
我想我再也受不了

1414
01:27:45,807 --> 01:27:48,143
因為它烤了這麼久

1415
01:27:48,393 --> 01:27:52,940
我也永遠不能再擁有那份食譜

1416
01:27:53,482 --> 01:27:57,694
噢,不

1417
01:28:01,865 --> 01:28:03,450
我超愛意境優美的夢境片段

1418
01:28:04,952 --> 01:28:09,748
應該還有一首給我的歌

1419
01:28:09,915 --> 01:28:14,002
等著我去唱

1420
01:28:16,672 --> 01:28:20,217
我將喝下溫熱的美酒

1421
01:28:20,384 --> 01:28:26,390
絕不會讓你看到我凝視太陽

1422
01:28:28,392 --> 01:28:33,230
在我失去一生所有的摯愛之後

1423
01:28:34,398 --> 01:28:38,360
在我失去一生所有的摯愛之後

1424
01:28:38,527 --> 01:28:42,155
你仍將是我的唯一

1425
01:29:09,349 --> 01:29:14,730
我會好好把我的人生握在手中

1426
01:29:15,022 --> 01:29:17,900
然後活出精采

1427
01:29:29,620 --> 01:29:32,247
我將贏得人們

1428
01:29:32,414 --> 01:29:38,295
眼中的崇拜,也將失去它

1429
01:30:07,658 --> 01:30:08,617
大法師先生

1430
01:30:08,784 --> 01:30:10,827
你違反了699法規!

1431
01:30:10,994 --> 01:30:12,371
別動!

1432
01:30:13,872 --> 01:30:14,873
逮捕他們,丹諾!

1433
01:30:17,251 --> 01:30:18,168
陰間大法師!

1434
01:30:22,130 --> 01:30:23,841
搞什麼X

1435
01:30:24,299 --> 01:30:25,551
我回來了

1436
01:30:30,806 --> 01:30:32,099
親愛的!

1437
01:30:32,266 --> 01:30:33,475
你看起來美呆了!

1438
01:30:33,809 --> 01:30:34,643
你全身上下...

1439
01:30:35,435 --> 01:30:37,145
- 搭配得真好
- 他是我的

1440
01:30:37,729 --> 01:30:39,022
是因為我,不是你

1441
01:30:39,189 --> 01:30:40,065
親愛的

1442
01:30:40,232 --> 01:30:42,568
我最近經歷了很多改變

1443
01:30:42,776 --> 01:30:44,570
算是來世中年危機吧

1444
01:30:44,736 --> 01:30:47,364
你的靈魂屬於我,吾愛

1445
01:30:47,781 --> 01:30:48,907
直到永遠

1446
01:30:49,074 --> 01:30:51,410
你不會想陪我到永遠,我是一隻孤狼

1447
01:30:51,577 --> 01:30:52,494
(699法規,私闖來世)

1448
01:30:52,619 --> 01:30:53,662
你需要一個靈魂伴侶

1449
01:30:53,829 --> 01:30:56,498
真正了解你的人,比如說...

1450
01:30:56,665 --> 01:30:58,208
{\an8}(我愛桃樂絲)

1451
01:31:02,796 --> 01:31:05,174
我需要能畫畫的東西,快啊!

1452
01:31:22,149 --> 01:31:23,567
{\an8}沙蟲!

1453
01:31:26,236 --> 01:31:27,696
{\an8}史上最爛的婚禮!

1454
01:31:30,699 --> 01:31:32,242
{\an8}來吧,蟲蟲危機!

1455
01:31:36,455 --> 01:31:38,081
{\an8}這邊,很好!

1456
01:31:52,262 --> 01:31:53,680
- 我們走吧!
- 嘿!

1457
01:31:53,847 --> 01:31:54,681
(婚姻協議書)

1458
01:31:54,848 --> 01:31:55,766
我們簽了婚姻協議書

1459
01:31:56,433 --> 01:31:57,726
她又不必嫁給你

1460
01:31:57,893 --> 01:32:00,103
- 啥米?
- 你違反了699法規

1461
01:32:00,437 --> 01:32:02,731
對啊,你非法帶我媽私闖來世

1462
01:32:03,148 --> 01:32:05,150
根據那本手冊,那份協議書無效

1463
01:32:08,737 --> 01:32:11,114
聽好,很抱歉我們不能修成正果

1464
01:32:11,281 --> 01:32:13,492
但我們的年紀差了六百歲

1465
01:32:13,659 --> 01:32:15,244
你對我來說太老了

1466
01:32:15,410 --> 01:32:16,620
陰間...

1467
01:32:16,787 --> 01:32:17,704
陰間大法師

1468
01:32:23,168 --> 01:32:24,002
陰間大法師

1469
01:32:31,510 --> 01:32:33,136
- 嘿!
- 陰間大法師

1470
01:32:43,438 --> 01:32:45,274
我們應該在賭城結婚

1471
01:32:53,532 --> 01:32:55,117
看來我們來晚了

1472
01:32:57,160 --> 01:32:59,204
封鎖犯罪現場,通知鑑識專家

1473
01:32:59,371 --> 01:33:01,665
還有把該死的媒體擋在外面

1474
01:33:02,040 --> 01:33:04,918
小姐,你戳破陰間大法師的陰謀

1475
01:33:05,335 --> 01:33:06,420
向他道別吧

1476
01:33:06,587 --> 01:33:08,630
你們可以跟我來張自拍

1477
01:33:08,797 --> 01:33:09,798
不過要快點

1478
01:33:12,092 --> 01:33:13,260
這位大媽,請跟我來

1479
01:33:13,427 --> 01:33:15,345
啥米?笛麗雅,你做了什麼?

1480
01:33:15,512 --> 01:33:16,722
我被詐騙了

1481
01:33:16,889 --> 01:33:18,849
我要靠你幫我討回退款

1482
01:33:19,975 --> 01:33:21,518
那些蛇其實有毒,對吧?

1483
01:33:21,685 --> 01:33:23,979
對啊,我是因為丟臉掛掉

1484
01:33:25,022 --> 01:33:26,190
你的作品一定會升值

1485
01:33:27,191 --> 01:33:28,317
那就好

1486
01:33:29,484 --> 01:33:30,861
笛麗雅

1487
01:33:31,028 --> 01:33:32,070
我會想念你

1488
01:33:32,237 --> 01:33:34,615
才不會咧,我會找到查爾斯
我們會糾纏你們

1489
01:33:34,781 --> 01:33:36,658
直到你們求我們放過你們!

1490
01:33:36,825 --> 01:33:38,744
你們這兩個臭皮囊幹得漂亮

1491
01:33:38,952 --> 01:33:40,704
你們的時辰未到別來敲門

1492
01:33:40,871 --> 01:33:42,581
千萬要記住

1493
01:33:42,748 --> 01:33:44,374
一定要來真的

1494
01:33:44,541 --> 01:33:45,584
來吧,美魔女

1495
01:33:45,751 --> 01:33:47,920
我們和局長有約

1496
01:34:33,757 --> 01:34:34,883
查爾斯!

1497
01:34:36,552 --> 01:34:37,803
笛麗雅!

1498
01:34:40,097 --> 01:34:41,515
我不敢相信你在這裡!

1499
01:34:44,476 --> 01:34:45,644
噢,查爾斯

1500
01:34:45,811 --> 01:34:47,563
我好高興見到你

1501
01:34:48,438 --> 01:34:49,690
噢,查爾斯

1502
01:34:49,857 --> 01:34:51,233
看看我是怎麼死的!

1503
01:34:53,735 --> 01:34:55,904
10點13分的班車

1504
01:34:56,071 --> 01:34:57,823
準點開往死後世界

1505
01:34:58,323 --> 01:34:59,157
請上車

1506
01:34:59,825 --> 01:35:01,535
搭上靈魂列車!

1507
01:35:12,129 --> 01:35:14,298
我要感謝各位鬼屋粉絲

1508
01:35:14,464 --> 01:35:17,176
多年來的支持

1509
01:35:17,342 --> 01:35:19,386
但這是我最後一集節目

1510
01:35:20,637 --> 01:35:24,099
我花了太多時間跟死人說話

1511
01:35:24,266 --> 01:35:26,351
現在該開始生活了

1512
01:35:29,188 --> 01:35:32,441
我想和我愛的人一起創造回憶

1513
01:35:32,608 --> 01:35:34,902
而不是以後被他們的鬼魂糾纏

1514
01:36:50,978 --> 01:36:52,896
我的天啊,那是什麼?

1515
01:37:16,253 --> 01:37:17,921
媽咪!

1516
01:37:28,348 --> 01:37:29,892
我剛做了一個超怪的夢

1517
01:38:45,092 --> 01:38:49,805
{\an8}(以愛緬懷巴布
公元1372年-2024年)

1518
01:44:23,096 --> 01:44:25,098
字幕翻譯:黄文俊