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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

2
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Thank you very much.

3
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Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.

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Well, good evening, everyone!

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Welcome to The Jonathan Ross Show,

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and we're back
for a brand-new series!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And we're kicking off 2026 in style,
my friends.

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This series is going to be hotter

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than the first dance
at Brooklyn Beckham's wedding.

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It's gonna be...
LAUGHTER

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00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,599
That's right,
I'm gonna dance on you.

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We've got a great show
lined up for you tonight,

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so let's have a look
at who's in my green room.

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First up
is a British acting legend.

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You'll know him from Paddington,
Notting Hill

17
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and, of course, Downton Abbey.

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Basically, if a British global hit
exists, he's probably in it.

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It's Hugh Bonneville!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hugh Bonneville,
ladies and gentlemen.

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You're in for...

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That's exciting.

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And alongside Hugh is
an Oscar-winning actor and musician

24
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who was once named by Time magazine

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as one of the most influential
people in the world,

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and I wouldn't disagree.

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It's Riz Ahmed!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Riz is here. Good to see you, Riz!

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My next guest is an Olympian,
one of the stars

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of the World Cup-winning
England women's rugby team.

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And many people think

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probably the best rugby player
in the world right now.

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It's Ellie Kildunne!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Ellie, it's great
to have you on the show.

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But also, we have a fabulously funny
comedian with us this evening.

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You'll know her from her brilliant
appearances on Last One Laughing,

37
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Live At The Apollo
and Would I Lie To You?

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I'm thrilled she's here.

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This is, by the way,
her first talk show.

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So let's make her extra welcome.

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It's the hilarious Harriet Kemsley!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

42
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And we have got music tonight
you're gonna love

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from a singer who's sold
over 250 million singles worldwide.

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The amazing Jason Derulo!

45
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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He's a handsome man.

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But just before I get my guests out,
let me just share this with you,

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because the Winter Olympics
officially started last night.

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And every year,
they bring in new events.

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This year,
there's men's super team ski jump,

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there's mixed team relay skeleton,
and there's skimo,

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which is a mash-up
of skiing and sumo.

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LAUGHTER

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I made that up, I don't know what
it is, but it's called skimo.

55
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But my question is this - when are
we gonna break that glass ceiling?

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When are we gonna finally see
something really different?

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When are we finally gonna see
animals at the Olympics?

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LAUGHTER Stay with me.

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Now, we've all seen dog frisbee,
but if you took that and added snow,

60
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just imagine
how much better it would be.

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This is dog frisbee on ice.

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Oh!
LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE Let's just...

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I tell you what...

65
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He was there for about 15 minutes,
so let's just...

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We're gonna fast-forward it,
just fast-forward it a bit.

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LAUGHTER OK. There you go.

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CHEERING

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He got there in the end.
He got there in the end.

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How about basketball?

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Put that in the snow,
mix up the rules a bit,

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throw in some dogs,
you're onto a winner.

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'Are you ready?'

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Oh!

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CHEERING Oh!

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LAUGHTER See? I'm a big fan of that one.

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Shall we get on with the show?
CHEERING

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Let's get my first guest out.

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He is a British icon,

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and she is a rising star
of the British comedy scene.

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It's Hugh Bonneville
and Harriet Kemsley!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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How were those stairs?

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Hugh. Hi. Nice to see you again.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES

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Thank you, sit down.
OK!

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Great to have you here. OK.
Nice to be here.

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So, Harriet, are you a fan of Hugh?
Have you met Hugh before?

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Do you know Hugh in the past?
No, I don't know Hugh.

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I'm a bit starstruck.
It's Paddington's dad.

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Yes.
I don't know what to do.

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It's crazy. Cos everyone loves
the Paddington films.

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Everyone loves the Paddington films.

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It must have, I would've thought,
opened up a new group of people

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who like you
and appreciate your work.

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Well, it's been really wonderful.

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I recently wrote a children's book,

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and I've been on tour in schools
and so on,

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and I tell them in-depth things
about my characters and the story,

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and then I open to questions
from the floor.

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And the first question is always,
"Where's Paddington?" Yeah.

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LAUGHTER

103
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I've heard tell they're making
another Paddington film.

104
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There's gonna be another one in
the series, which is understandable,

105
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but I've also heard you won't be
reprising the role of Mr Brown.

106
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No, I think I should
put this in context.

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I think I'm just too blooming old.

108
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I can't do the splits any more
like I did in the second film.

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LAUGHTER So, erm...

110
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No, never say never.

111
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Maybe if Mr Brown comes back
in a bath chair, I could...

112
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Do people, though...? I mean,
cos it's so convincing, the film.

113
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There must be some people
expect Paddington to be real

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and want Paddington to be real?

115
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Well, yeah,
Hugh Grant tells the story.

116
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I think it was his father
or a relative,

117
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who, after the first couple
of minutes Paddington 2,

118
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leaned over and said,
"Is that a real bear?"

119
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LAUGHTER

120
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But it's that convincing.
I know, it is.

121
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I remember when I first saw
the first images

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of the bear being, you know,
created in the editing room,

123
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I was completely blown away.

124
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It was when Paddington sticks his
head down the loo in Paddington 1,

125
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and I thought,
"Wow, this is different."

126
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It is amazing.
Wait, what do you act with, then?

127
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We have a variety of...

128
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Paddington does come out of his
trailer eventually in the afternoon,

129
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but when he's on
a big marmalade day, he...

130
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we have to have a stand-in.

131
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So, we've had Lauren,
who's done all three films,

132
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,919
and she's the same height
as Paddington.

133
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She puts on his little duffel coat
and his hat

134
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and walks through
all the scenes with us.

135
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Then she'll leave the shot,
and we'll do it again,

136
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just imagining where he was.

137
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And sometimes, it's a stick
with a bit of sticky tape at 3'6".

138
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You're a good actor.
That's good acting.

139
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And thanks for ruining the magic,
Harriet. Sorry!

140
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But then he comes out
for his close-ups. Yeah. Yeah.

141
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,119
What other jobs you have had?
Before you were a star, Hugh?

142
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I worked as a loo cleaner
in a lawyer's firm for a bit.

143
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You know, for a while.

144
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I got my hand right round the
U-bend. I was pretty good at that.

145
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I imagine, though, that's the sort
of job where, at the end of the day,

146
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,799
you would feel
a real sense of accomplishment.

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Particularly if I dislodged
what was there, yeah.

148
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,079
No, you know what I mean, though?
You can see what you've done.

149
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,159
LAUGHTER And you can smell it as well.

150
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,759
You can see what other people
have done that isn't there any more.

151
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But you know what I mean?
It's like, when you're acting,

152
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I'm sure you know you've done
a good performance on the day,

153
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,719
but it's got to be cut together.

154
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But when you've cleaned a loo, and
you look down and it's sparkling,

155
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you go home
with a spring in your step.

156
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,119
LAUGHTER Yeah.

157
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,839
What about you, Harriet? Other jobs
before comedy took off for you?

158
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Yeah, I worked as a waitress
for a bit,

159
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but I'm very clumsy,
so I wasn't very good at it.

160
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,799
Once, I spilt soup
all over this woman's head.

161
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,319
She was just out for lunch,
and she was wearing this white suit,

162
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,439
and she was completely covered
in soup.

163
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,519
And then she got really angry,
like, quite rightly,

164
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but then she started shouting at me.

165
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But then I burst into tears, so then
she had to apologise to me. Wow.

166
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So it was quite unfortunate.
Because you are...

167
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Am I right in thinking
you're dyspraxic? Yes.

168
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,399
And that is... I think
most of us know what dyslexia is,

169
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,399
but dyspraxia is kind of like
a balance thing, isn't it?

170
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A bit clumsy. Medically clumsy.
How did you find out?

171
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I found out cos my sister,
we were having lunch,

172
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and my sister said, "I was watching
Embarrassing Bodies last night,

173
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"and I think you might have
the same thing as the woman on it."

174
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And I was like, "That's not
a sentence you ever wanna hear."

175
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,879
You know?

176
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,399
So she did this test on me that
they did on Embarrassing Bodies,

177
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,799
this clap test,
and I did it at the table,

178
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and I knocked over two glasses.

179
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So then I had to get tested,

180
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,599
and this professor
came to my house to test me,

181
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,279
and I was so nervous and worked up
about this test and what it meant.

182
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,599
It was gonna take all afternoon.

183
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,319
And I opened the door to him,
and I just burst into tears.

184
00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,159
I started crying in his face, and
I was like, "Come in." I was crying.

185
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,359
And then I got my foot stuck
in a bowl.

186
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,999
So I was crying with my foot stuck
in this bowl, and I was like,

187
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,839
"I'm so sorry, give me one moment
while I get this bowl off my foot!"

188
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,359
And he was like,
"No, thank you so much, Harriet,

189
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,639
"you've just saved us five hours."
LAUGHTER

190
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,439
"I think you've got it, love."

191
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,879
So waitressing not for you any more?

192
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,879
No, not for me. No.
OK.

193
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,599
Hugh, let's talk about Downton.
We have to talk about Downton a bit.

194
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,239
Because Downton Abbey,
what an amazing achievement.

195
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,399
What an incredible series.

196
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,919
What an incredible series of films
as well.

197
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,679
And now, sadly,
the story has been told.

198
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,959
There will be no more.

199
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,759
Certainly not with... Aw!
Aww!

200
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,399
Certainly not with our,
you know, cast. Yeah.

201
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,719
But the castle still stands,
so who knows?

202
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,399
Maybe there'll be one set in 2060
or something, I don't know.

203
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,679
Remarkable success, though.

204
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,799
A global...
A genuinely global success.

205
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,279
No way you could have predicted that

206
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,439
when you were doing
the first few shows.

207
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,279
No, none of us thought it would last

208
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,479
beyond the seven episodes
that were originally commissioned.

209
00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,439
Because period dramas were dead,
we were told, and, erm...

210
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,199
And so how wrong... You never know.
Yeah.

211
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,399
You never know
how it's gonna turn out.

212
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,279
We ended up doing, whatever it was,
52 episodes and three films

213
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,079
over 15 years.
And great films.

214
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,119
I cried like a baby at the last one.
Aw!

215
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,479
Yeah, it was a nice farewell.
Yeah, it was beautiful.

216
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,279
And do people...
Do you miss being Lord Grantham?

217
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,999
No. No, I don't. No.
LAUGHTER

218
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,399
I have huge love for the show,

219
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,359
I have huge love for the people
and for its legacy and all that,

220
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,639
but, no, I'm very happy not having
to get up that early in the morning

221
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,799
and go to windy Highclere Castle.

222
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,799
Let's talk about CS Lewis
and the play Shadowlands,

223
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,399
and now the exciting news
is Hugh is back on stage

224
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,519
here in London's glittering West End
performing it.

225
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,959
And it opens this week, doesn't it?

226
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,719
That's right, yeah.
We're in previews.

227
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

228
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,479
Tell us about the story.

229
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,079
Cos it's quite a beautiful story,
and a sad story as well.

230
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,399
Well, it's the story of CS Lewis,

231
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,759
who obviously wrote
the Narnia Chronicles.

232
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,239
And he was an academic at Oxford,

233
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,239
living a rather sheltered,
bookish life,

234
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,719
living with his brother
on the outskirts of Oxford

235
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:06,079
and hanging out with Tolkien
in the pub and being rather donnish.

236
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,919
And then into his life
erupted someone

237
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,399
he had been in correspondence with,

238
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,999
this woman called Joy Gresham,
who was from America,

239
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,799
and she was a very sort of fizzy,
energetic character, very smart,

240
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,559
who sort of turned his rather
donnish bachelor life upside down.

241
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,839
And then she got sick
and eventually died.

242
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,199
And the central
sort of story of the play...

243
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,199
CS Lewis was a devout Christian,

244
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,039
and so the central question
of the play is,

245
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,919
if God loves us, why does
he allow us to suffer so much?

246
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,159
And at the heart of this play,
it's really a story about love.

247
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,879
Late-flowering love for CS Lewis
and then coping with that loss that,

248
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,559
you know, let's face it,

249
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,279
we all have to face at some point
or other - bereavement.

250
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,639
If I remember correctly...
It's also very funny.

251
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,879
LAUGHTER

252
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,999
I remember it being funny
in the early part of the play

253
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,039
when I saw it years ago,
and so I guess you've got...

254
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,119
It must be a joy to perform
because you do have that,

255
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,239
you're making the audience laugh,
warming them up,

256
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,319
and then they go with you
on that emotional journey.

257
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,999
It is. It is quite
an emotional journey,

258
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,039
and it is quite satisfying
when you've got big laughs,

259
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,879
and you sort of think, you know,
"Wait till you see what's coming."

260
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,559
LAUGHTER But...

261
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,919
But it is, it's the yin and yang.

262
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,519
But being a stand-up
is not dissimilar

263
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,279
cos you have to interact
with the audience.

264
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,479
Do you feed off the audience?

265
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,599
Do you look out and see
what reaction you're getting?

266
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,719
Does that help you?

267
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,319
Yeah, if it's a good reaction,
it really helps.

268
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,199
LAUGHTER For sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

269
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,959
If it's a bad reaction,
it feels really bad.

270
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,919
Have you had bad reactions?
Yeah. Yeah.

271
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,239
So, I filmed my special.

272
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,799
I've only... And so you do
two make tapings of the special.

273
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,239
And the first taping,
I looked into the audience,

274
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,159
and a man was asleep
in the front row.

275
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,879
And I was like,
"This is really not ideal."

276
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,519
But I was like, "It's fine,
you have a second taping,"

277
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,879
you know, so you can make up for it.

278
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:41,919
It'll all be fine.

279
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,559
Second taping,
I come out, I look down,

280
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,119
the guy's back,
and he's asleep again.

281
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,439
LAUGHTER I was like, "How did this happen?

282
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,559
"I don't understand.
Who let him back in again?"

283
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,039
He's just trying to find
a place to sleep.

284
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,159
Well, he loved the experience
so much the first time,

285
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,399
he came back for more!

286
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,279
He was like, "This is so soothing."

287
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,239
And I suppose also,
with a live audience,

288
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,799
when I go to the theatre sometimes,
you will see...

289
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,159
And they're very strict on it now.

290
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,239
You always get the coughing
and that kind of thing,

291
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,959
and obviously,
that's understandable,

292
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,839
but you hope if people
are doing it too much,

293
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,079
they'll take them to the side.

294
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,119
And you will occasionally
get people disrupt it.

295
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,679
I had a person go to the toilet
halfway through a dramatic scene.

296
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,479
You must have to deal
with that kind of thing.

297
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,759
Yeah, that happened.
I did a play at the National Theatre

298
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,199
years ago with Juliet Stevenson
called Yerma,

299
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,719
and we were... it was in the round.

300
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,519
And we were in
this really tense stand-off scene,

301
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,159
and this bloke just got up
and literally walked between us.

302
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,639
Well, when you gotta go,
you gotta go, you know?

303
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,439
And then you've gotta come back.

304
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,039
So did you just carry...?
You just can't break character...

305
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,799
Yeah, we were there going on about,
"Oh, our marriage. Ooh, our this.

306
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,159
"Are we gonna have children?"
Boom-boom-boom-boom.

307
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,039
Did he say "excuse me"
on the way through?

308
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,599
No, no! He was in a rush.

309
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,439
He knew what he wanted.
He was going.

310
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,479
OK, and then he came back again?
He came back again.

311
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,599
He complained about
the cleanliness of the toilets.

312
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,159
Probably.
But I hadn't cleaned that one.

313
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,759
THEY CHUCKLE

314
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,759
OK, so, you are now
going on tour again soon, Harriet?

315
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,959
Yes. OK. And you're calling
the tour Floozy?

316
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,439
I called it Floozy, yeah.

317
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,519
And my mum did look up
what it meant. And, erm...

318
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,159
I thought the idea,
the name is kind of aspirational.

319
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,999
Like, everyone's like,

320
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,999
"Oh, you don't wanna come across
as a floozy."

321
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,279
And I'm, like, trying to be
a floozy, you know what I mean?

322
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,639
It's not easy out there.
You're trying to be a floozy.

323
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,439
So, OK, let's pin down
the definition of floozy, in case...

324
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,959
So, "floozy" is
a kind of a good-time girl.

325
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,479
Yeah, I'm trying to have
a good time.

326
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,359
OK, that's fair enough.
Yeah, thank you.

327
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,359
CHEERING Hold it... Jason.

328
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,600
HARRIET CHUCKLES

329
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,279
CHEERING CONTINUES

330
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,439
Jason, we're doing an interview.

331
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,439
What are we doing?
I'm just going to the bathroom.

332
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,079
You going to the toilet
in the middle of the show?

333
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,359
Oh, am I interrupting something?
Go, it's over there.

334
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,839
It's over there. Jason Derulo.
He'll be back later on.

335
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

336
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,039
Hugh, you see what we did there?

337
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,959
I know, I did.
I did see what you did there.

338
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,279
Where were we? We were talking
about your flooziness.

339
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,839
Yeah, I'm trying to...
But the problem is, I just...

340
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,159
Cos I'm at this stage in my life
where I just got divorced, erm...

341
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,279
Aw!
Thank you, everybody, yeah.

342
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,559
We got a no-fault divorce.
I don't know if you heard of it.

343
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,519
It's quite new.
It's called a no-fault divorce.

344
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,839
This sounds like a good idea to me.
I think I've heard this.

345
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,079
You don't go to court,
and it's as amicable as it can be.

346
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,439
Yeah, a no-fault divorce.
You can just do it by paperwork.

347
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,760
It's called a no-fault divorce,
but it is his. Erm...

348
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,919
But, yeah, so I'm divorced,
and so now I should be trying to...

349
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,759
You know, there's a new stage
in my life. Sure.

350
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,599
I should be having a fun time, but
I just get attached, is the problem.

351
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,639
But it's about you experiencing
the dating scene again, I guess?

352
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,079
Yes, I'm trying to get out there.
I'm trying to date again.

353
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,319
And are you having success
with this? No.

354
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,079
No. No, I'm trying...
No, I am. I'm having...

355
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,159
The thing is, I think,
because I've had my daughter,

356
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,359
and so I've got everything I need,
you know what I mean?

357
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,679
Aw! I have everything I need,
so I'm just looking for...

358
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,879
That's so lovely.
And she's four, is that right?

359
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,799
Four, yeah.
In the early days of your career,

360
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,159
didn't you take her on tour
with you, when you were touring?

361
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,039
Yeah, so, I took her on tour
at the beginning,

362
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,319
and then I had to start leaving her
with a baby-sitter.

363
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,679
It was, like, the scariest thing
that has ever happened.

364
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,119
The first time I left her,
I was crying, and then I was like,

365
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,079
"I'll just message
and see how she's doing.

366
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,359
"That'll make me feel better."

367
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,679
The baby-sitter was sweet,
but her English wasn't great.

368
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,199
And I was like, I'll message,
and that will make me feel better,

369
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,039
and so I messaged and said,
"Is she sleeping?"

370
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,119
And she replied,
and I think she meant to say, "Yes."

371
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,199
But her English wasn't great,
so what she wrote was,

372
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,759
"Her eyes shut. She no move."

373
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,839
LAUGHTER

374
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,879
And then she followed up
with the most terrifying message

375
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,280
I've ever received -
"She angel now."

376
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,279
Hold it, she wrote,
"She angel now," as well?

377
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,479
And then a little angel emoji!

378
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,719
But I suppose she meant
she was behaving angelically.

379
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:37,879
Yes, of course! Yes!

380
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,919
OK. That's the worst thing
you could possibly get.

381
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,799
The worst thing
you could send, yeah!

382
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,439
Stick around. We'll chat some more.
It's lovely to have you here.

383
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,279
Don't go away.
Up next, we'll be joined here

384
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,879
by Riz Ahmed, so stick around.

385
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,360
See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

386
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,599
APPLAUSE

387
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,799
Welcome back to the show. Let's get
my next guest out, shall we?

388
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,199
He is an incredible actor,

389
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,599
he is a brilliant rapper,
and he's a director as well.

390
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,839
A true triple threat.
It is Mr Riz Ahmed!

391
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,600
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

392
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,160
WHISTLING

393
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,439
You look incredible!
You look amazing. Come on out.

394
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,120
Here's Hugh. Here's Harriet.

395
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,439
Sit down there.
CHEERING CONTINUES

396
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,999
Nice to have you back, Golu.

397
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,599
Ooh, what?
JONATHAN CHUCKLES

398
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,119
See, the only people
who call me "Golu" are my parents

399
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,719
and Jonathan Ross.
It's very strange...

400
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,999
What does Golu actually mean?
Dad, is that you?

401
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,999
I wish.
It's a weird moment, yeah.

402
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,639
What does it mean?
Golu is my childhood nickname...

403
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,199
Does he do this to you guys?
Bring you out and humiliate you?

404
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,199
Yes. Yeah.
No! There's no humiliation here.

405
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,679
No, it's my childhood nickname,
and it means "roundo".

406
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,839
"Roundo"?
Round. Like, round circle.

407
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,439
And then everyone asks me, "Were
you really overweight as a kid?"

408
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,519
And it's more embarrassing
that I just had

409
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,719
an incredibly circular head.
Wow. Wow.

410
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,079
Yeah. "He looks like
a little football." I know, yeah.

411
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,799
If you took a look
at the right angle. Yeah.

412
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,319
Now it's full of angles.
It looks great.

413
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,679
Thank you.
HARRIET LAUGHS

414
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,639
But with serious congratulations,
though,

415
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,959
the fact that since last we met,
you won an Oscar.

416
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,519
HARRIET GASPS,
CHEERING

417
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,199
Riz won an Oscar
for a brilliant short film.

418
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,679
It's called The Long Goodbye,
and it is brilliant.

419
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,119
But I wonder, of course,
something as important as an Oscar,

420
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,280
as incredible as an Oscar,
where do you keep it?

421
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,639
My mum keeps it hostage.

422
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,399
LAUGHTER Yeah, basically. She keeps it.

423
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,559
But the thing is, every time
I go there, I'm like, "Where is it?"

424
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,239
She doesn't put it out on display.

425
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,319
And, erm, she's like,
"I've got it, don't worry about it."

426
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,639
It's literally like
a hostage situation,

427
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,999
where it's like, "What?
Do you wanna see the money first?"

428
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,519
Like, I need to see the Oscar.
I need proof of life.

429
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,399
Is she worried that you're gonna
take it back when she's not looking?

430
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,839
I tell you what, she's actually...

431
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,439
I'm gonna be really real with you,
since you called me Golu.

432
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,679
The real thing she's worried about
is the evil eye.

433
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,639
Does anyone here know
what the evil eye is?

434
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,319
Yeah.
You know about the evil eye, right?

435
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,479
You're nodding.
I don't think you do, Harriet.

436
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,999
OK, so the evil eye is, like,
let's say if I got...

437
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,639
Oh, my God, Jonathan,
such a nice watch.

438
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,519
Yeah, thank you.
That's a wonderful watch.

439
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,399
And then you turn around
two minutes later,

440
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,839
and your watch breaks.

441
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,719
Ah!
Right? Exactly. So it's when...

442
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,479
And so there's this thing
in our culture...

443
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,839
and a lot of cultures, actually.

444
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,879
I think it's in Greek people,
Albanian, and it's a big thing

445
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,239
where you try
and hide your successes

446
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,479
and just play a little bit low-key.
Oh, I see.

447
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,599
Because if people go,
"Oh, wow, that's amazing,"

448
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,399
then disaster will strike.

449
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,159
So the good fortune that you had,
if you show it off, or...

450
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,119
it will attract ill fortune,
it will attract something bad.

451
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,119
That's exactly
the bizarre logic of it, yeah.

452
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:47,559
Is there a chance she sold it?
LAUGHTER

453
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,839
I always wonder where that necklace
came from that she's wearing.

454
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,439
You know, I do wonder, yeah.
OK.

455
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,359
Look, primarily, you're an actor.

456
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,639
OK? But before we talk
about your new project,

457
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,559
I must talk to you
about your music a little bit.

458
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,759
Do you still do the music?
Do you still rap much?

459
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,919
You know what, I've had a bit of
a break from it for a little while,

460
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,359
because of life and family,
and partly because I was so busy

461
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,719
trying to make this film,
this passion project of mine.

462
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,359
But I'm coming back soon,

463
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,159
and, yeah, we've got some fun stuff
lined up for this year.

464
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,679
Before we talk
about your passion project,

465
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,120
do you know we have
another former singer on the show?

466
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,359
Right here.

467
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,519
Hugh Bonneville used to sing
in a band.

468
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,559
No!
Yes!

469
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,199
No, no, no. Your researcher...
Hugh did sing in a band.

470
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,959
For about four minutes.
That's good enough.

471
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,479
Can you remember the name
of the band or a song that you did?

472
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,119
I think it was called...
The song was called No More Toby.

473
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,359
It was about beer.
LAUGHTER

474
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,279
You mean like Toby Bitter?
Yeah. Does it exist any more?

475
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,199
I don't know.
I don't think it exists any more.

476
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,319
I think the chorus went,
"No more Toby.

477
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,839
"No more Toby. No more Toby."

478
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,919
It was great stuff, Riz.
It's catchy.

479
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,159
Shall we go for it?
Let's do it. Let's collab.

480
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,399
Let's get to the meat of the matter.
Riz has an amazing new film out.

481
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,919
As he said, it's a passion project,

482
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,759
and it might surprise some people
that this is your passion project,

483
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,959
because it's Shakespeare.

484
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,119
So, it's a version of Hamlet
set in British Asian community.

485
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,599
You're playing the title role,
of course, which is something

486
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,039
most actors, I think,
would love the chance to take on.

487
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,159
Of course, at the same time,
it must be intimidating,

488
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,679
cos you know there have been
so many great Hamlets in the past.

489
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,639
Yeah. You know what's interesting?
Like...

490
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,199
When I first wanted
to take this project on...

491
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,159
And it took 15 years, actually,
for us to make this. Wow.

492
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,039
I first approached a writer in 2010.

493
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,839
It just meant a lot to me
for many different reasons,

494
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,119
partly because of a relationship
I had with an amazing schoolteacher

495
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,719
back at high school.

496
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,999
What was their name?
His name was Mr Roseblade.

497
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,239
Mr Roseblade?
Yeah. He was a white Jewish guy

498
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,479
from Wolverhampton,
who spoke fluent Punjabi.

499
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,399
Hold on. Wow!
Yeah.

500
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,479
We've all had an English teacher
like that, right? Erm...

501
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,439
How did Mr Roseblade...?
How did he learn Punjabi?

502
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,439
I think actually because his...

503
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,759
He told me. I hope
he doesn't mind me sharing story.

504
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,759
His mother was a headmaster of
a school in Wolverhampton in the...

505
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,719
it was the '50s or '60s,

506
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,159
and when the first wave of
immigrants came into Wolverhampton,

507
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,239
there was the first, like,
brown kid in the school joined.

508
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,759
His mum, the headmistress, said,
"You're gonna be his best friend.

509
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,919
"Make sure he feels welcome.
Make sure he doesn't feel alone."

510
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,999
Wow.
And so he befriended this kid,

511
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,639
became a part of the community,
got welcomed into it,

512
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,879
started going to the gurdwara
and the temple

513
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,279
and just, you know,
became steeped in the culture.

514
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,159
What an amazing story.
He's an amazing guy, he really is.

515
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,799
And... Yeah.
APPLAUSE

516
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,200
Mr Roseblade.

517
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,079
But, yeah,
he's someone who kind of...

518
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,239
When he gave me the play,
I was like, "Hamlet is the...

519
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,319
"This is... This is like growing up
in Wembley." You know?

520
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,319
This is... It's...
OK, Hamlet can't marry Ophelia.

521
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,599
She's from the wrong family.
That is the first one.

522
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,919
Second, they're all squabbling
over the family business

523
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,239
and what's gonna happen.

524
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,479
Third of all, your dead dad's ghost
comes back to haunt you,

525
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,759
and he's disappointed in you. Right?
LAUGHTER

526
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,599
Let me show you
a little taste of it.

527
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,800
As I said, it's in cinemas now.
Treat yourselves. Go and see it.

528
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,719
My good Hamlet,

529
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,280
we grieved your sickly father
while he lived.

530
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,320
Let the world take note. You are
the most immediate to our throne.

531
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,560
I pray you stay with us.

532
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,039
DEEP, EERIE VOICE: Hamlet.

533
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,280
Who goes there?

534
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,039
'My uncle is the cause of all this.

535
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,480
'There is a villain
dwelling in our home here.'

536
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,239
To be or not to be?

537
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,080
ENGINE REVS

538
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,359
SCREAMING Woe is me to have seen

539
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,639
what I have seen...

540
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,399
to see what I see!

541
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,919
TRUCK HORN BLARES

542
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,799
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

543
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,159
A very different take of Hamlet.

544
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,639
Hugh, have you ever played Hamlet?

545
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,399
I know you've been in a Hamlet,
but have...?

546
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,639
No, I've never played Hamlet.

547
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,359
I've played Laertes
to Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet

548
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,599
in whatever it was, 1992.

549
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,559
That was the really long one where
he did the whole text, wasn't it?

550
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,479
Yeah, I think we cut one line, so...

551
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,999
And he speaks very, very fast, Ken,
so it was quite a swift production.

552
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,839
Right. But on the third preview
at the Barbican Theatre,

553
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,799
it was a matinee,
and I got this raging...

554
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,959
I woke up with
this raging toothache. Oh, no!

555
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,279
And because it was a full
production, a full-length show,

556
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,159
Laertes has about two-and-a-half
hours off in the middle

557
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,519
while Hamlet's doing
all the angsty stuff, you know,

558
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,279
and telling the main story.

559
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,999
So I went to the London Hospital
emergency unit,

560
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,479
and they said, "Oh, yes, yes,
we just need to yank that out now.

561
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,319
"And we'll give you an anaesthetic."

562
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,079
I said, "Well, I can't.
I've got to go back onstage. And..."

563
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,559
And so they rubbed
some cloves on it.

564
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,319
And I went back, and I was sweating,
I had a temperature,

565
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,759
and came on to do
the sort of last part of the play,

566
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,079
and Ken was looking at me
a bit strange, cos I was dripping.

567
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,359
And the swordfight
was sort of like that.

568
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:01,240
I was like, "Just...
Just kill me. Just kill me."

569
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,399
And, you know,
then they took my temperature,

570
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,519
it was 102 or something,
so I was sent off,

571
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,159
and the understudy
had to do the evening.

572
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,199
But my old friend Tom Hollander
came to see the show that afternoon,

573
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,919
and because I just was literally
bumbling my way through it,

574
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,359
he came round afterwards and said,

575
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,759
"Hugh, I've never seen you
be so good! You were so still!

576
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,719
"You were so controlled."
You know, awful.

577
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,999
Congratulations, though.
I'm thrilled you got it made.

578
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,359
I know how much it meant to you.

579
00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,919
Also, it's a fabulous piece of work,
and it's so uniquely yours.

580
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,439
And, you know, one sequence
which is particularly well done,

581
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,199
and once again, it's quite hard
to get this sequence right, I think,

582
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,039
is the scene when Hamlet
sees the ghost of his father.

583
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,799
And that, you know...

584
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,319
And it's quite easy to, I think,
make mistakes with that.

585
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,359
And yet, yours,
it really catches it brilliantly.

586
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,959
I won't give away
where it is or when,

587
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,399
but something about the setting

588
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,479
and something about
the distances involved,

589
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,919
very, very effective, very powerful.

590
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,239
And it must be
quite an interesting thing,

591
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,639
cos obviously, it's
a supernatural element, or is it?

592
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,759
You're not sure. Do you believe
in that kind of thing?

593
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,359
Do you believe in ghosts
and spirits?

594
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,879
Do I believe in ghosts?
Yeah.

595
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,319
I don't know if anyone -
maybe my generation - remembers,

596
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,439
the BBC once showed
this fake documentary

597
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,519
back in the day called Ghostwatch.
Oh, yeah.

598
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,439
SCATTERED CHUCKLES,
MURMURS

599
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,679
You remember Ghostwatch?

600
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,840
There's a chill gone through
the crowd of everyone 40 and over.

601
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,359
I've been totally traumatised
by Ghostwatch.

602
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,719
And so, yes, I believe in ghosts.
Have you ever seen one?

603
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,039
Er, I've seen Ghostwatch.
No, but that's...

604
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,959
LAUGHTER That's all I need to see, man.

605
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,279
Have you ever had a supernatural
experience, Hugh Bonneville?

606
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,319
Yeah, I did sleep
in a friend's house once,

607
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,679
where there were no windows,

608
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,879
which isn't a good start
to the evening anyway.

609
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,719
And I woke up in the middle
of the night,

610
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,959
and I just had
this terrible feeling of dread

611
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,679
that if I stepped out of bed,
I would just keep falling.

612
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,279
And so I went down for breakfast,
and he said, "How did you sleep?"

613
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,079
And I said, "It was a bit weird,
to be honest."

614
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,039
He said, "I didn't tell you -
that is the haunted room, but..."

615
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,079
But I haven't yet...
I'm really up for it.

616
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,559
I'd really wanna have a chat
with a ghost, I'd really like to.

617
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,359
Harriet, have you either seen
or dated...?

618
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:03,079
I was gonna say, if he wants to talk
to a ghost, he should join Hinge.

619
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,879
LAUGHTER There's loads on there.

620
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,399
Absolutely loads on there.

621
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,399
APPLAUSE There you go, ghosting.

622
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,239
Thank you.
I... Yeah.

623
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,439
Congratulations on Hamlet.
Thank you.

624
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,159
And I do hope you all go and see it.
I think it's a great film.

625
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,399
APPLAUSE I think it's an amazing achievement.

626
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,399
Don't go away.
We're gonna take a short break.

627
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,679
But up next,
we'll be joined by Ellie Kildunne,

628
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,159
and Jason Derulo will be performing
at the end of the show.

629
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,160
See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

630
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,679
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

631
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,879
Welcome back to the show.
Let's get my next guest out.

632
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,759
She's one of the standout stars
of England's Red Roses,

633
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,399
who won the World Cup, of course.

634
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,279
Let's have a look at her
in fantastic action.

635
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,199
Let it go for Ellie Kildunne.

636
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,479
And she's not gonna get caught.

637
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,359
Kelly Arbey is coming across
to try and make the tackle.

638
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,239
The swerve from Ellie Kildunne
is good!

639
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,199
By Zoe Harrison, which is dangerous,

640
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,959
because now Ellie Kildunne
has picked it up.

641
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,279
Ellie Kildunne using her feet.

642
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,199
Ellie Kildunne still going!

643
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,239
Ellie Kildunne, you beauty!

644
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,959
Who's the person to take it?

645
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,719
Ellie Kildunne.
Little bit of footwork.

646
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,559
Dicing around one, then two,

647
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,279
and Ellie Kildunne
lights up the Allianz!

648
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,519
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

649
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,279
Ladies and gentlemen,
the amazing Ellie Kildunne!

650
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,680
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

651
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,160
Ellie!

652
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,520
Thank you for coming. Wow. Sit down.

653
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:40,880
Ellie, take a seat.

654
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,479
Ellie, I'm genuinely so excited
to have you here. I'm a big fan.

655
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,639
I'm sure everyone else...
Are you a fan of Ellie's?

656
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,959
CHEERING Yes. I know you guys are as well.

657
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,479
Congratulations on winning
the World Cup. What a moment.

658
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,399
Yeah, it was, er, something...
I've said it plenty of times.

659
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,479
I think there's a difference between
something that you can imagine

660
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,079
and something that you can dream.

661
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,799
And the difference is
you can imagine being in that,

662
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,159
because you can see yourself
in those shoes.

663
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,719
Something you can dream is something

664
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,079
that you think
someone else is gonna do.

665
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,239
But this is everything
that we've dreamed.

666
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,159
I've always said I want it
to exceed our expectation,

667
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,919
and it's exactly what happened.

668
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,039
There's plenty of memories
that come from it,

669
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,559
but, obviously, winning
the World Cup is very, very special.

670
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,959
I underplay it,
but it is very special.

671
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,639
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

672
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,159
So, how did you get into rugby?
Cos it's not... Back then...

673
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,319
Now, there will be a whole
generation of girls, young women,

674
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,119
I would've thought, inspired by you,
inspired by the team, thinking,

675
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,879
"OK, rugby is something for me,
and we can excel at this."

676
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,359
But when you were, there weren't...

677
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,199
It really wasn't that well-known,
women's rugby, was it?

678
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,959
It wasn't,
but I think this is the thing.

679
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,479
I think people often assume
that barriers are something

680
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,079
that holds you back.

681
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,799
But when you're six years old,
you don't understand barriers.

682
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,799
So there was nothing
that was ever gonna hold me back.

683
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,599
It was purely because I was
playing out with my neighbours,

684
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,679
and they were going down
to rugby training.

685
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,359
And I thought, "There's not many
games I know I can play by myself."

686
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,359
You definitely can't play tig, and
you definitely can't play football,

687
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,599
cos it's easy to score a goal
if there's no-one in the net.

688
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,399
So, erm, I went down
to the session with them,

689
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,479
and the one thing that I remember

690
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,079
and I loved the most
was the fact that...

691
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,519
Turning up to the session,

692
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,599
all the boys
that would turn around and go,

693
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,519
"Is that a boy, or is that a girl
with really long hair?

694
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,759
"I don't really know."

695
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,639
But at the end of the session,
they were saying one of two things.

696
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,199
It was either shaking my hand
and saying, "Welcome to the team,"

697
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,119
or, "I didn't tackle you
cos I'm a boy and you're a girl."

698
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,279
But it was because I scored
all the tries. Yeah.

699
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,479
And I loved it.
So you were naturally sporty, then.

700
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,479
I guess you were athletic,
and you were kind of...

701
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,759
And you obviously had a fire
in your belly, even then.

702
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,399
So you said you were six then?
Yes.

703
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,599
Started playing at six.
We've got some footage of you.

704
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,999
I don't know if it's when you're six
or shortly afterwards.

705
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,879
But this is amazing. Have a look.
This is young Ellie playing rugby.

706
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,999
And it's against all boys, I guess.
You were the only girl in the team?

707
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,519
Amazing. Look at this.

708
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,439
She's against her rival there,
look. She's done him.

709
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,839
Go on, Ellie! Go on, Ellie!

710
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,079
CROWD CHEERING

711
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,639
Ellie! Ellie!
She didn't even step there.

712
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,439
WOMAN CHEERING

713
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,319
APPLAUSE It's amazing, isn't it?

714
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,479
Can we, erm...?

715
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,919
Let's put the photograph up
of Ellie at that stage,

716
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,439
when she was that age.

717
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,199
Aw!
That is great, isn't it? Oh, my God.

718
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,879
My legs are just the same size,
to be honest.

719
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,039
And look at the size of the ball
compared to you.

720
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,079
This is a different question
altogether here,

721
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,319
but is it true
you gave your a coach tattoo?

722
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,359
Yes, I did. Erm...

723
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,239
Now, we should point out
it was consensual. He said yes.

724
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,719
He wasn't... You didn't creep in.
He wasn't asleep?

725
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,080
No, no, no, no. I didn't drug him,
I didn't do any of that.

726
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:54,199
Yeah, one of the things with me is
I pick up hobbies outside of rugby,

727
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,119
and I think it's really important
to have different obsessions.

728
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,239
But... I'm also one of those people

729
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,919
that gets so obsessed
with something,

730
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,319
and then it lasts two weeks.

731
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,599
I realise I'm not very good at it,
and then I drop it.

732
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,799
I've got a keyboard at home,
I've got three guitars.

733
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,559
Erm, I've got 20 kilos of clay
sitting in the corner of my room.

734
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,359
So if anyone wants to come over...
we'll have stuff to do!

735
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,919
Can I just say,
when you're trying something out,

736
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,919
you normally buy a small amount
of something - not 20 kilos.

737
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,039
LAUGHTER It was so stupid.

738
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,239
I don't know why I did it.
You bought 20 kilos of clay?!

739
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:29,079
Yeah, I was set on... I thought...
What were you gonna make with it?

740
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,159
I thought, "You know what?
It'll be really great.

741
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,639
"For everyone's birthday,
I can make them a coffee mug."

742
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:38,239
And then I made it, and it wouldn't
even hold a glass of water,

743
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,119
so I realised that
wasn't gonna last very long.

744
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,799
But one of those obsessions was
I was away with the sevens,

745
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,199
we were in New Zealand,

746
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,599
and all the girls had tattoos
and stuff.

747
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,159
And I thought, "I want a tattoo.

748
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,399
"I want something
that's a little bit different."

749
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,119
So we went to a tattoo shop,
and I got two lines on my wrist.

750
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:58,119
Right.
And I spent 50 quid on two lines.

751
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,039
Two lines? So that's 25 quid a line!

752
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,919
Yeah, exactly that.
And it took 20 seconds.

753
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,919
Anyway, when it came
to being in camp,

754
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,159
one of the girls said,
"Oh, we'll go to the tattoo shop."

755
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:08,959
And I thought,
"This is what I can do.

756
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,959
"I'll do tattoos."
So I bought a tattoo kit.

757
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,519
Right.
LAUGHTER

758
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,519
It cost me 20 quid.
Yeah.

759
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,519
20 sterling pounds,
for those from London.

760
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,999
To put that in other terms,
that's about 50 kilos of clay. Yeah.

761
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,239
Yeah, yeah.

762
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:28,039
And I just remember that first time,
we were in one of the rooms,

763
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,439
and I had this kit,

764
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,999
and I was like, "Oh, shit,
we need to make this hygienic."

765
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:37,039
So we ran down to the physio room,
got some of the latex gloves,

766
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:41,519
got some Vaseline, because you need
it to be lubricated on the area.

767
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,839
And got some hand sanitiser
to make sure it was sterile.

768
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,839
So this is a professional setup!
It was a professional setup.

769
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,159
We had someone on the torch
with their iPhone.

770
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,119
Wow! I mean, this is amazing.
Yeah, and then...

771
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:53,799
Who was your first victim?

772
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,559
The first victim was my roommate,
and we didn't quite get it right

773
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,319
cos we didn't lubricate the area
quite well enough.

774
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,239
So I was trying to do this cross,

775
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,559
and I was like,
"Why is it bleeding so much?"

776
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,079
LAUGHTER Anyway, next person comes,

777
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,079
and she said,
"Can I have my cap number?"

778
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,439
We did that,
and I am very good at numbers.

779
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,879
And that's, to this day,
the best one I've ever done.

780
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,039
Next girl, she was sat there,
and she went,

781
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,639
"I've got an idea.
Can I have a camera?"

782
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,319
I thought, "A flipping camera,
are you kidding me?!"

783
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,199
I can't do a tattoo. I've never done
a tattoo before, let alone draw.

784
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,599
Anyway, I did this little
rubbish camera on her.

785
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,359
Fast forward,
so I said to John Mitchell,

786
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,959
our new coach, as a joke...

787
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,879
Because we've got
a bit of tongue in cheek,

788
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,359
and I tend not to take life
very seriously anyway.

789
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,679
I said to him, " 'Ey,
I've got a proposition for you.

790
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,199
If I... "I"!
"If we win the World Cup,

791
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,799
"and I'm part of it,
can I tattoo you?"

792
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,919
And obviously,
this is, like, eight months before.

793
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,240
And he went, "Yeah, yeah, sure."

794
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,839
I take that very seriously.

795
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,679
And it went straight into
my notebook.

796
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,559
A reminder for the day of the final.

797
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,159
The day after the World Cup,
that night everyone got leathered,

798
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,439
as you can imagine.

799
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,279
Erm, the next day,
people were still leathered,

800
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,519
and we were going to Battersea
to celebrate with fans

801
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,399
and people who wanted
to be there with us.

802
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,519
So the drinks kind of carried on.

803
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,919
And when we got back to the hotel,
everyone went back to sleep.

804
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,679
Cos we were going out that night
again. Everyone was napping.

805
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,959
And I thought, "This is my chance."

806
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:25,239
Hold it, so you've had
very little sleep for 48 hours...

807
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,919
And quite a lot of alcohol, yeah.
A lot of alcohol.

808
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,279
"This is my chance to permanently
mark someone's skin."

809
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,879
Why not? Why not?
But not only I'm in that position,

810
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,399
but also my head coach is,
so he can't say no.

811
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,719
Anyway, so I went into the bar
where he was, and I said,

812
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:39,999
"Mitch, it's your time."
LAUGHTER

813
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,879
And, bless him, he said, "You're
gonna have to check with the boss."

814
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,599
Which, of course,
as everyone knows, is the wife.

815
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,239
Went to his wife, and I said,
"Is it OK if I do this?"

816
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:50,519
And they said, "Yes."

817
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,959
So we went into a room,
got my latex gloves on.

818
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,039
I said,
"Have you ever had a tattoo before?"

819
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,520
And he said, "Never."
I thought, "Brilliant, OK."

820
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,639
Can we just bring the camera over?
And I tattooed on him "2025".

821
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:08,319
But the really funny part about it,
which circles, is he said,

822
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,559
"Ooh, what those two little lines
on your wrist?"

823
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,679
Of course, I wasn't gonna say,
"This is a random thing

824
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,159
"cos I wanted it
for the first time."

825
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,959
So I said, "Oh, it means equality.
LAUGHTER

826
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,639
And he went, "I love it. I love it!"

827
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,959
So he said, "Can I have equality,
and then 2025?"

828
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,759
Since then... I've seen him since
then, and he was trying to show me,

829
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,959
"Oh, the tattoo's still there,
it's looking good."

830
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,319
And his friend was there with him.

831
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,999
And his friend said,
"Oh, the tattoo..."

832
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,679
And I was about to tell that story -
it means jack shit,

833
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,239
but he thinks it means equality.

834
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:44,079
But before the words came out,
he said,

835
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,199
"My favourite part is 'equality'."

836
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,079
I said, "Oh, yeah, no...
Equality's my best bit as well."

837
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,799
APPLAUSE That's a terrifying story!

838
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,399
Here's a photograph.

839
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,759
Here's the image of the tattoo.
Can we move in on it?

840
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:59,160
Look. There you go.
LAUGHTER

841
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,799
Well, that's a very long story.
Edit that. Edit it shorter.

842
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,720
We got every single detail.

843
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,239
Have you ever played rugby, Riz?
Erm, they did play...

844
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,959
I was supposed to play rugby.
I skipped school. Yeah.

845
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,279
Generally, when they were
playing rugby. Yeah, yeah.

846
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,479
Hugh played a bit of rugby
back in the day, didn't you?

847
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,440
Well, in my dreams,
I was a fantastic full-back.

848
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,279
In fact, I was an incredibly slow,
lumbering second row.

849
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,959
LAUGHTER What's next for you?

850
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,919
I think it's the Six Nations
about to start, is that right?

851
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,679
Yeah, so, the men's Six Nations
is kicking off this weekend.

852
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,879
Our Six Nations is just after.
I just think life's crazy right now.

853
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,319
I just couldn't believe
I was talking to Jason Derulo.

854
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:42,999
What the hell?!

855
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,199
Let me ask you about
Sports Personality of the Year,

856
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:47,399
cos you were a runner-up in that.
What an achievement!

857
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,159
You seemed genuinely surprised
when they read your name out.

858
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,399
There was two things. Was I
more nervous about the outcome,

859
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,679
or was I happy with it,
or was I more nervous

860
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,519
that I was gonna flash everybody
with my stupid dress I had on?

861
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,879
It looked lovely. It looked lovely.

862
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,119
The dress was gorgeous, but
it had a split right up to my hip,

863
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:06,719
and I didn't have any knickers on!

864
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,959
LAUGHTER So that's all I was thinking,

865
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,279
"I don't know
what I'm more nervous about."

866
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:17,799
I got up, and that whole experience
was something that you dream.

867
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,879
I said the year before,
"I'm gonna do this."

868
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:24,119
But when I really come away
from that and think about it,

869
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,439
I just can't believe it.

870
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,959
Yeah.
Lando Norris...

871
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:28,959
I beat Lando Norris?! What?!

872
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,519
And where's the award?
Do you have it at home?

873
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,880
It's with my mum and dad
back in Yorkshire.

874
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,279
They have begun to get
a bit of a shrine of...

875
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,479
I was speaking to my mum
before this.

876
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,839
She said, "Don't say that,
cos it's quite embarrassing."

877
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,639
But, you know,
the past couple of years,

878
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,839
I've had quite a lot of awards
and things like that,

879
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,759
and mementoes and stuff like that.

880
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,839
I just always say,
"Oh, this is for the shrine."

881
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:59,159
And the latest one, yeah, is
the Sports Personality of the Year,

882
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:00,879
there's the
World Player of the Year.

883
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,719
The latest one,
during the World Cup,

884
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:06,559
they did something in London,
which was a bed of roses.

885
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,759
And when we went back into camp
a couple of weeks ago,

886
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,279
they said,
"You can have your roses."

887
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,919
And we all thought
they were like this.

888
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,159
And they're, like, five foot tall.
They're massive.

889
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,159
Well, your mum's gonna be
even more embarrassed,

890
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,479
cos we got a picture from your dad
of the shrine at home, I believe.

891
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:20,919
Including the two giant roses.

892
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,399
ELLIE LAUGHS
There it is.

893
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,839
They are big roses!

894
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,319
OK, disclaimer, it doesn't
look like this when I come home.

895
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,999
So this is definitely for the show.

896
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,200
Oh, there's Riz's Oscar.
LAUGHTER

897
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,519
I could chat all night.
I loved meeting you.

898
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,319
We're gonna have to
take a quick break now,

899
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,359
but please don't go away because, as
just previously mentioned by Ellie,

900
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,599
Jason Derulo is here.

901
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,359
He will be performing right here
in the studio in just a few moments.

902
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,520
I'll see you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

903
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,880
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

904
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,279
Welcome back to the show.

905
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,039
I'm still here
with all my fabulous guests.

906
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,359
Ellie, let me ask you
about your brother.

907
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,279
Because your brother plays rugby
professionally as well.

908
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,319
Yeah.
And that must be quite...

909
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,279
I would have thought,
not tricky, necessarily,

910
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,599
but to be competing against
someone else in the family

911
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:17,839
who's in the England squad

912
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,239
and who is runner-up
for Sports Personality of the Year.

913
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:22,559
That must be quite tricky for you?
I mean...

914
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,679
Look, me and my brother Sam, he's...
We've always been super close.

915
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,599
We've always been
super competitive as well.

916
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,999
That competitiveness
was always there,

917
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,919
whether it was playing
cops and robbers in the garden,

918
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,199
running away from each other,
or fighting each other.

919
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,639
You know, we're kids,
and we do fight.

920
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:45,239
And I remember one time, we used
to have this thing growing up

921
00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:47,799
that we'd fight all the time.
It would be like,

922
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,119
"Oh, we're a bit bored,
shall we just have a fight?"

923
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,479
Might have made me the rugby player
I am today, I don't know.

924
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,480
But one time, I went to clock him...

925
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,919
The one rule was
you're not allowed to punch.

926
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,519
So I went to clock him, and I
thought, "Oh, God, that's the rule."

927
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,960
So I pulled away, and I ended up
clocking him with my nose.

928
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,199
With my elbow, sorry.
Blood everywhere.

929
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,159
It was... It was...
Yeah, it was horrible.

930
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,519
Hugh, you didn't get on well
with your sister, did you?

931
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,879
I remember reading in your book,

932
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,919
quite an extraordinary exchange
you had with her.

933
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:17,599
Well, you know, she's older than me,

934
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,279
and there's a sort of
contractual obligation

935
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,199
for brothers and sisters
to wind each other up, obviously.

936
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,199
And she'd done something like stick
her tongue out at me or whatever.

937
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,359
So I ended up chasing her
around the back garden one time,

938
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,879
and then she was quicker than me

939
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,239
and ran back inside
and shut the back door.

940
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,479
And then did that or something.

941
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,959
And I can remember it so...
I was about eight, seven, maybe.

942
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,479
And in slow motion,
this happens in my memory.

943
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,839
There was a sledgehammer
by the glass back door...

944
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,159
LAUGHTER We should just say in advance...

945
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,359
LAUGHTER

946
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,680
...this doesn't end as badly
as you might think.

947
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:57,639
And so I did somehow pick up
this heavy sledgehammer

948
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,599
and launch it through
the glass panel of the...

949
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:05,959
But, you see, it had 12 panes on it,
this back door. The kitchen door.

950
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,039
And so, actually, I thought I was
doing people a favour in retrospect,

951
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,879
because afterwards,
it was a single pane.

952
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,559
It was much easier for Mum to clean.
Very thoughtful

953
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:14,919
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

954
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,039
And didn't you...? Wasn't there...?

955
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,199
And this sounds daft, but didn't you
dig a grave for your sister?

956
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,959
There had to be further retribution.
LAUGHTER

957
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,639
So I just said to Mum one day,

958
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,279
"I'm going to dig a grave for Claire
in the garden."

959
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:28,439
And she said...

960
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,439
Mum said, "That's fine.
Tea's at half past five."

961
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,479
And unfortunately, the soil
in Blackheath, South East London,

962
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,399
isn't that... You know,
there's not a lot of give. Clay-ey?

963
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,639
Yeah, so I got about
seven inches down, and that was it.

964
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,479
I love my sister very much,
by the way.

965
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,159
LAUGHTER Here's some exciting news.

966
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,879
We're changing the subject
somewhat now.

967
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:52,079
But Riz has just finished making
a movie with none other than

968
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,759
Thomas Mapother Cruise IV.
Tom Cruise.

969
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,399
Ooh!
How was the experience?

970
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,159
How did you find the force of nature
that is Tom Cruise?

971
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:01,399
He's a force of nature.

972
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,199
Yeah, he's really an incredible...

973
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,759
Similar to... Like, you know,
honestly, like an athlete.

974
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,039
Like an athlete, you know,
speaking to you backstage,

975
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,279
speaking to you here as well,

976
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,439
there is that kind of single-minded
belief, that drive,

977
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,439
that athleticism that is kind of
inspiring to be around.

978
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,319
What's the film?
It's called Digger.

979
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,319
SCATTERED LAUGHTER
About a JCB?

980
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:24,759
Can you give us any info, or not?

981
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,279
I can't, no.
You can't? OK.

982
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,999
Have you seen how fast Tom Cruise
runs? I don't want him chasing me.

983
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,359
No!
LAUGHTER

984
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:31,999
Have you made...?

985
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,759
The ultimate accolade for those
who work with Tom Cruise, I believe,

986
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,999
and I know a few who are lucky
enough to be on this list.

987
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,959
For example, Simon Pegg,
who's a friend of mine.

988
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,879
You get a Christmas cake
from Tom personally.

989
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,519
Have you made that list, or is this
gonna be a sore point for you?

990
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,999
I don't wanna put evil eye
on the fact that

991
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,199
I get the Christmas cake...
But?

992
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,199
...but I get the Christmas cake.
You get it.

993
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,199
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

994
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:59,399
And I've been told, I've not been
lucky enough to try it,

995
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,399
but I've been told
it is a very fine cake.

996
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,799
I don't want to break your heart,
but it's a banging cake.

997
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,959
Yeah, it's a really...

998
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,679
You know, it's a sponge cake,
which I'm not a sponge cake guy.

999
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,879
It's coconut.
I'm not a coconut cake guy.

1000
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,199
And yet,
it is really something special.

1001
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,359
Wow.
It's amazing, yeah.

1002
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,999
What kind of cake guy are you, then?
I'm a carrot cake guy.

1003
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,079
Fuck off!
LAUGHTER

1004
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:26,119
Carrot cake in the house, yeah!
Make some noise!

1005
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,919
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's not even a cake!

1006
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:33,399
OK, so we thought we might try a bit
of rugby, seeing as we got Ellie.

1007
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,719
Ellie's gonna teach us
how to catch the rugby ball

1008
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:39,559
when it is hurling towards you
at some considerable speed.

1009
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,479
Are you up for this, Riz?
Let's do it.

1010
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:43,799
LAUGHTER

1011
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,000
Harriet, I fear the worst...

1012
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,239
Have we got medics?
We've got medics.

1013
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:54,399
Hugh, we will now see the prowess
of your youthful rugby dream...

1014
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,239
OK.
...brought to life

1015
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,759
in all its elegant
and poetic beauty.

1016
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,759
So, let's bring in the machinery.
We're gonna try and do this.

1017
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,559
If you guys
would like to head over there,

1018
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,079
I would suggest you stand
quite a long way away.

1019
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:08,519
LAUGHTER

1020
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:09,880
Watch it, sound guys.

1021
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,079
I can crank this up, can't I?

1022
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,279
OK, I'm worried about my rings.
Let me...

1023
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,519
Wait, pause, pause, pause.
This is why we've got Hugh here.

1024
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,519
Yeah, he'll show me how it's done.
It's on 40, it goes up to 80.

1025
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:25,319
Wait till we get to Bonneville,
you're gonna see some magic. OK...

1026
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,400
Are you ready?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1027
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,079
Straight in the gut.

1028
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:39,359
Riz! Riz! Come on, Riz.
You're not doing it at 40, are you?

1029
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,560
I'll leave it at 40.
Oh, for fuck's sake!

1030
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:45,920
OK, ready? Here we go.
Three, two, one...

1031
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,879
Oh!
ALL GROAN

1032
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,359
OK.
You went for my face!

1033
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,200
I didn't! No, no! Hey, Riz,
do another one, do another one.

1034
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes! Come on!

1035
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,319
OK. Bonneville,
you could handle 45, couldn't you?

1036
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,679
No, I can't! Come on!
Two lines. Equality!

1037
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,679
Harriet, looks like you're getting
that. Harriet's getting that...

1038
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:12,679
Hugh! Hugh!
Hugh, Hugh, Hugh, Hugh!

1039
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,959
ALL GROAN

1040
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,839
Hugh, Hugh, Hugh, Hugh!

1041
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,280
Yay! OK.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1042
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,599
OK. And now...

1043
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,839
And now the moment so many of us
have been waiting for...

1044
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,279
LAUGHTER

1045
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:38,120
...as we see Harriet finally put
to rest those dyspraxia rumours.

1046
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:41,079
Oh, man.
What is this?

1047
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,680
Harriet, you ready?
You're not gonna catch it like that.

1048
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,160
I suggest you look at the ball.

1049
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,999
Where are you going?
I don't know, I'm stressed.

1050
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,479
I'm really stressed about it.
OK, throw!

1051
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:01,799
LAUGHTER Watch your back, watch your back.

1052
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,720
OK. Do you want to count me down?
OK.

1053
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:08,240
20...
LAUGHTER

1054
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:14,679
Five, four, three, two, one!

1055
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,760
SHE SCREAMS,
LAUGHTER

1056
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:22,199
Harriet, do you wanna
throw one at me?

1057
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,279
Yeah, I'll fire one at you, yeah.
OK.

1058
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1059
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,400
How do you turn it up?
You don't turn it up.

1060
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:33,720
Wait...

1061
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,719
Oh, fucking hell!

1062
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:39,919
Holy mother of...

1063
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,879
Hugh, you didn't tell me
it was that fast!

1064
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:46,319
I've decided I'm not going pro.
OK, let's sit down again.

1065
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,039
Let's hear it for everyone, though.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1066
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,279
That was really hard.
I didn't know it was so hard!

1067
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,039
All right, I'm afraid
that's all we have time for.

1068
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,279
Will you join me in saying thank you
to all my guests,

1069
00:46:58,280 --> 00:46:59,319
ladies and gentlemen?

1070
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,319
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1071
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:04,319
But now, performing Sexy For Me
from the new album

1072
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:07,839
The Last Dance (Part 1),
it's the fabulous Jason Derulo!

1073
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,319
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1074
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,639
Jonathan Ross Show, are you ready?!

1075
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,959
'Sexy For Me'

1076
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,520
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1077
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,599
♪ I love that she a dancer
She said her name was Upgrade

1078
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,279
♪ Talk big, but she back it up

1079
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,479
♪ But she poppin' it
Like some Champagne, yeah

1080
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,639
♪ Ass up, face down
When she dancin' on me

1081
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,879
♪ Ain't no other girl here
Gon' even try to compete

1082
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,079
♪ Way too fine to be dancin'
For free

1083
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,519
♪ But I'm glad you're mine cos
You're too sexy for me

1084
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,799
♪ Too sexy for me
Sexy, sexy

1085
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,199
♪ You're too sexy for me

1086
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,839
♪ Too sexy, sexy, sexy for me

1087
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,359
♪ Truth be told, you're the truth
Truth

1088
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,399
♪ I can't lie, tryna lie next to you
Talk that shit, girl, you're rude

1089
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,519
♪ But I got somethin'
For that bad attitude

1090
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,239
♪ Ass up, face down
When she dancin' on me

1091
00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:07,719
♪ Ain't no other girl here
Gon' even try to compete

1092
00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:09,919
♪ Way too fine to be dancin'
For free

1093
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,879
♪ But I'm glad you're mine cos
You're too sexy for me

1094
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,239
♪ Hey!
Too sexy for me

1095
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:20,919
♪ You're too sexy for me
Too sexy, sexy, sexy for me

1096
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,919
♪ God took his time on your sexy

1097
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,679
♪ Sexy, sexy

1098
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,039
♪ It's not your body
It's your mind makes you sexy

1099
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,279
♪ Sexy, sexy

1100
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,199
♪ Them other girls mad
I ain't even lyin'

1101
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,919
♪ Cos you ain't even tryin' to be
Sexy, sexy

1102
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,519
♪ Can't even call you fine
You're too sexy

1103
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,799
♪ You're too sexy

1104
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,280
♪ Ass up, face down
When she dancin' on me

1105
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:49,159
♪ Ain't no other girl here
Gon' even try to compete

1106
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,199
♪ You're too sexy for me
Come on!

1107
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:53,879
♪ Too sexy for me

1108
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,119
♪ You're too sexy for me
Sexy, sexy

1109
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,519
♪ Too sexy, sexy, yeah!

1110
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,839
♪ If you're sexy and you know it
Say hell yeah!

1111
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:08,199
♪ You're too sexy for me
So sexy for me

1112
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,839
♪ You're too sexy for me

1113
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,319
♪ Too sexy, sexy, sexy for me

1114
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,679
♪ Come on, gettin' sexy

1115
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,919
♪ Yeah, gettin' sexy, yes

1116
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,239
♪ Get, gettin' sexy, hey!

1117
00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:23,919
♪ Get, get, get. ♪

1118
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1119
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,960
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