1 00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:05,543 - Everyone knows our target audience... 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:08,942 Is 18 to 34-year-old males. 3 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,605 But how do we hit that target? 4 00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:15,214 - How? - How? 5 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,018 By relying on market testing? 6 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,020 No. 7 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,051 - [scoffs] no. 8 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,786 - By trusting our gut? No. 9 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:24,862 We need more. 10 00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,931 Lars. 11 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,730 And so for the past six months, 12 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,162 We have been developing a prototype 13 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,267 That combines all of our target viewers 14 00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,229 Into one composite viewer. 15 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:39,608 Ladies and gentlemen, the future of television. 16 00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,569 [thudding] 17 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:46,308 A fully functional 18 to 34-year-old male. 18 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:47,506 - Pizza. 19 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,577 - Let's give them a little demonstration 20 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,147 Of how he works. 21 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:56,686 [tv turns on] [upbeat music] 22 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,263 - [robot beeps] [all applaud] 23 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:03,962 - He loves it. 24 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,827 [seductive music] [moaning] 25 00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:08,395 [robot beeps] 26 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,195 He likes it. 27 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,536 That's a hit. 28 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:12,771 - Uh, george, if I may? 29 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,366 I've been working on a little show myself 30 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,938 And I gave it to lars and, well, I'm curious to see 31 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,177 What the demo monster thinks about it. 32 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,752 I think he's gonna love it. - Oh. 33 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:21,950 It'll be a true test. 34 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:23,951 - Fell pretty good about it, george. 35 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,353 - I'm liz. [cameras snapping] 36 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:28,585 I'm an amazing person with an amazing life. 37 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:29,961 - And I'm liz. I'm-- 38 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,289 [gunfire] 39 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,164 [robot buzzes angrily] 40 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,963 - You know what, let me actually give him a different sketch. 41 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,055 [gun reloads] oh, god, no! 42 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:41,097 [gunfire] - [guttural moaning] 43 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,966 [wet noises] 44 00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:52,037 - You think he's badly hurt, lars? 45 00:01:52,078 --> 00:01:53,678 - [flatulence] 46 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:54,883 - [dings] 47 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,924 [dubstep music] 48 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:05,961 ♪ 49 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,300 - Here's a sentence you have never heard-- 50 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,531 You know who's better on cocaine is scotty. 51 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,536 I love the paranoid stares he gives me. 52 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,909 I love the company scotty keeps when he's shneefed up. 53 00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,469 With pot, I mean, some people are lazy and stupid. 54 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:26,079 But you're never like, "that guy made my life s--" 55 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,852 Well, that's no true. [laughs] 56 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,681 I guess pot has ruined some lives. 57 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,746 I don't like when people say "smoke up." 58 00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:34,015 "hey, do you wanna go smoke up?" 59 00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:35,253 I'm like, what are we in eighth grade? 60 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,418 Come on. 61 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,456 Let's get baked. 62 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,413 - [groans] 63 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,840 Oh, my god. - [yelps] 64 00:02:55,875 --> 00:03:00,205 - Loud. Loud! 65 00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,476 - Off. 66 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,184 - Shut up, gosling, you beautiful idiot. 67 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,047 - Nice shot, wendells. 68 00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,485 - I'm the michael jordan of throwing vicodin everywhere. 69 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,862 - I'm so hung over--suela, consuela, suela! 70 00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:15,492 - Oh, yayo. Yayo. 71 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,398 - Why is our life so [bleep] hard, wendy? 72 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,160 - Shut up! 73 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,329 - You know, I'm just gonna have a little coffee. 74 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,938 [snorts and moans] 75 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,170 - I just gotta check my email real quick. 76 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,106 - Oh, god. Oh, god. [farts] 77 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,282 - Oh, [bleep]. Oh-- 78 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,781 [farts] - what? Wendells, what? 79 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,852 - [groans] oh, god. 80 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,981 - I'm going as fast as I can, wendells. 81 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,416 - Oh, my god, please hurry. 82 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,191 I've gotta push out a big gray coke snake. 83 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,351 - Oh, my god, I am just spraying 84 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,118 Chocolate shaving cream right now. 85 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,587 - Yeah. No durr. 86 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,285 - Where are the baby wipes? - I don't know! 87 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,198 - Fine, I'll just keep using these carpet samples, 88 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,160 But we need to go to one of those big bulk stores 89 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,968 And buy, like, a thousand rolls of tp 90 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,530 And we'll never have to go to a store again. 91 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,468 - Those big box stores are ruining america. 92 00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:59,913 - We do it once, we do it right. 93 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,239 We'll just get shneefed to the dome 94 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,684 And then we'll go make fun of fat americans. 95 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,410 - Oh, nice. - Yeah. 96 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,945 - I'm gonna go in the hot tub. 97 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,782 [groaning and splattering] 98 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,088 - Wendy, that's not the bidet. 99 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,289 - What? 100 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,390 - That's not the huge bidet. 101 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,422 - It's fine. It's gonna work. 102 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,556 - Hey, fellow americans. 103 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,268 Stop your remote thumb and listen. 104 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,800 - Do you want nice possession, 105 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,395 But have no money for possession you want? 106 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,396 - Yes. 107 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,597 - Then get a fun loan. 108 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:33,609 - Fun loan? 109 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,680 - Super deluxe fun loan. 110 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:41,410 Follow me. 111 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,747 - Hey, cool guy. 112 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,282 What are you gonna buy with your loan? 113 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,547 - Steamed milk coffee drink? 114 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,615 - New york city. - Cool. 115 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:48,624 - College? 116 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,915 Super deluxe fun loan. 117 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,756 Hey, cool guy, you want speed boat? 118 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,131 Get super deluxe fun loan. - I like it. 119 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,160 - Dog as pet? 120 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:56,604 Get super deluxe fun loan. 121 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,999 - Tight jean. Big truck. 122 00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,631 - Easy sex. - Get a super deluxe fun loan. 123 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,627 - That's cool. 124 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:02,768 - Wanna play some baseball? 125 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,302 - Get a super deluxe fun loan. 126 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,297 - [laughs] 127 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,768 - Hey, look who it is. 128 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,036 Bart simpson. 129 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,714 - Cool. Bart simpson. 130 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:10,842 Don't have a cow. 131 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,237 Super deluxe fun loan. 132 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:13,808 It's basically free money. 133 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:14,976 - When do I pay this back? 134 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,084 [ominous music] - stay cool. 135 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,445 - Don't get a job. 136 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,723 Both: Get a loan. 137 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,652 Both: Sheh sheh. 138 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,259 - I'm liz. 139 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,860 I'm an amazing person with an amazing life. 140 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,863 - And I'm liz. 141 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,195 I'm a college graduate and I expect the best. 142 00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,260 I'm the driven one. 143 00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,898 - And I'm trying to have a life. 144 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:37,873 Our pr firm is called publizity. 145 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:41,474 - It's based off our names. 146 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,767 So this morning, we have meeting with, like, 147 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,509 A very demanding new client. 148 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:48,684 The ceo of cultured yogurt water and liz better wake up. 149 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,575 Yogurt water? I love it. - Wow. 150 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,216 I think, like, a lot of women really want to drink something 151 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:56,222 That's, like, medium-thick. - Try it. 152 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,855 - I'm gonna try it, if you don't mind. 153 00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,930 Like, I lie in meetings a lot, it's true. 154 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:02,189 I like the idea of just, like sucking down 155 00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,328 One of these little things. 156 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,533 But, like, in this case, I really do hate water. 157 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,625 Like, I hate it. 158 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:07,626 It's, like, very exciting 159 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,397 To be trying a new beverage. [sniffs] 160 00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:10,935 I love it. It's delicious. 161 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,570 - Well, th--thank you. - I like water, 162 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:17,305 But I want that sour taste that, like, only yogurt can bring. 163 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,753 So what can we do to help promote your product? 164 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:20,809 Um, let's see. [snorts] 165 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,947 Oh, I just had an amazing idea. 166 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,082 What if we did an event? 167 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,617 - Liz! Sorry. 168 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,351 You are a genius. - I love you. 169 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,817 - I love you, too. - You're my best friend. 170 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,085 - You're my best friend. - Here's what I'm thinking 171 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,123 We should do. 172 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,457 Cultured water is, like, very cultured, 173 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,763 And, like, what is the most cultured thing-- 174 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,325 [snorts] oh, my god. England. 175 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:39,263 - Oh, England. - London, England. 176 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,098 - Oh, my god, I love london England. 177 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,674 - So it's, like, a theme party all about 178 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,603 London, England and cultured water. 179 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:47,968 And then we can have, like, adele perform! 180 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,977 We should have adele perform! 181 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,309 - I think adele might be a little expensive. 182 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,975 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I could perform then. 183 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:56,184 I could do it. 184 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,575 I could actually just complete the performance. 185 00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,517 I could do it. I could perform. 186 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:00,692 - Right? - But-- 187 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,990 - You don't perform. - Mm. 188 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,721 - Liz is, like, crazy untalented, 189 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,157 And I don't know if she can deliver. 190 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:09,732 So I'm thinking what if we had anybody else perform? 191 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,202 - Mm, or I could do it. 192 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,030 - Or you know what we could do is we could just have, like, 193 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,825 A monkey with down syndrome smashing on cymbals. 194 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:18,938 I thought that was, like, a good possibility for something to do. 195 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,141 - You know what, liz, I'm gonna stop you right there 196 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,543 Because I would be so nervous for you 197 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,936 If that tiny monkey with the brain problem 198 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,148 Were to jump up and just scratch on someone's face. 199 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,021 - It's, like, the client's decision. 200 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,479 Whatever you think is best is fine. 201 00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:34,088 So, like, either we do the monkey 202 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,320 Or something else or we have liz sing. 203 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,315 - Right, and, like, whatever you think is free. 204 00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:40,688 - Well why don't we try it? 205 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:43,326 Why doesn't liz have a song-- - great. Amazing. 206 00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:44,702 - Let's try it. 207 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:45,700 [singing nasally] - ♪ I would love to sing 208 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:48,001 ♪ at your event 209 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,774 - Wow. 210 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,542 - Well that's proof positive right there that we should 211 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:52,971 Think of a bunch of options. 212 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,665 Coming up next on publizity... 213 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,708 What is she doing? 214 00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:07,746 - [speaks spanish] 215 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,747 - [speaks spanish] 216 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:13,288 [arguing in spanish] 217 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:18,426 - [speaks spanish] 218 00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:21,474 [dial tone and beeping] 219 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:24,840 - [speaks spanish] 220 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:27,071 - Este, I think my boyfriend, 221 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,966 He's cheating on me. 222 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,308 - [speaks spanish] 223 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,283 - [speaks spanish] 224 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,851 - [speaking energetically] 225 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:40,321 You are on the air on... [speaks spanish] 226 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,853 [trumpet blares] 227 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,618 [rooster crows] 228 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,316 [speaking gibberish] 229 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:49,128 - Well, I find text messages on my boyfriend's phone. 230 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:51,331 All: Ooh... 231 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,334 - [speaks spanish] 232 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,796 Cynthia, would you like to talk to an expert about this? 233 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:57,465 - Yes, I wanna talk to an expert. 234 00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,843 - Okay, okay, here we are. 235 00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,841 [high-pitched] hola? 236 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,612 Uh-oh, it's a baby. 237 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,241 [speaks spanish] 238 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,306 - I'm serious, what should I do? 239 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,154 - What should you do? - Yes. 240 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:10,749 - Maybe you should do doo doo. [laughs] 241 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:11,753 [elephant trumpets] 242 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:12,754 - [speaks spanish] 243 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:14,285 Is there any reason 244 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,790 I should stay with carlos? 245 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:18,921 - Is there any reason she should stay with carlos? 246 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,028 That's a great question. 247 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,089 Goat, what do you think, you stupid goat? 248 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,498 [slurred] uh, I don't know. 249 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,500 I just a goat. 250 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,171 I just want to eat garbage. 251 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,599 You are useless to me, you [bleep] goat. 252 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,235 - Here's what I think we should do. 253 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,810 I think we should call carlos por telefono. 254 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:36,039 - No, no. - We're going to prank call him. 255 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,775 - [speaks spanish] 256 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,610 - Okay! - Bueno. 257 00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,646 - Why are you texting another woman 258 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,982 When you have a beautiful woman at home? 259 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,547 - [speaks spanish] [buzzer buzzes] 260 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,786 - Oh, he dances around. 261 00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,822 Ah, we just disconnected him. 262 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:55,527 [laughter] 263 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,931 - Okay, cynthia, does that make you feel better? 264 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:01,274 - Si, chupa. I feel better, but, you know, 265 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,400 It's not gonna bring his amor back to me. 266 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,936 - Ooh, maybe we have a four-way with me, you, 267 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,212 Consuela and el bebe. 268 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,810 [weak voice] what about me? 269 00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:14,253 Oh, old man juarez has been in the studio the whole time. 270 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,050 He doesn't speak much, but when he does, he speaks volumes. 271 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,524 - Uh, I don't know. 272 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,293 Maybe he's not for me. 273 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,961 - Oh, old man juarez, cynthia not interested in you. 274 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,361 [weak voice] my legs are not working anymore. 275 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:30,003 Wow, that's a downer. 276 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,099 [cries like a baby] 277 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,470 I want to go out with cynthia. 278 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,499 - Aw. 279 00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:36,974 - Okay, cynthia, are you happy now? 280 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,303 - Si, gracias. 281 00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:40,967 - Okay, you're going to go on a date with a baby! 282 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,067 Thank you, consuela. 283 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,478 Thank you, cynthia. 284 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:46,579 Call back any time you want at chupacabra 285 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:49,182 [speaks gibberish] 286 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,415 - I can't trust the banking system 287 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:52,550 In the United States of america. 288 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,185 It was ruined by the presidents. 289 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,820 What can I trust? 290 00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:56,855 [laughs] 291 00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,259 - [laughs] 292 00:10:58,290 --> 00:10:59,560 - Digital money! 293 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:01,332 - Digital money. 294 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,400 - First, get digital mine to win compu-coin. 295 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,260 [ticking and whirring] 296 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:09,968 $1,000 equals $1 million in cybercash! 297 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,102 - Trade in all your dollars for cyber cash. 298 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,268 - Oh, yeah, I'm a millionaire! 299 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:15,336 - Oh! - [laughs] 300 00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:16,544 Both: Digital money! 301 00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:18,405 - Cybercash-redeemed best product. 302 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:22,514 - Hand fan. Tax free. 303 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:24,178 There's no way to end up in prison. 304 00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:25,946 [giggles] 305 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,945 [dance music] 306 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:36,628 ♪ 307 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,332 - You're welcome, and I hope you liked it. 308 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,804 Well, how are you doing? 309 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:40,972 Would you like to try a mini quiche? 310 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,830 They're called petite quiche. 311 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,468 - My baby boy might. - Goo goo ga ga. 312 00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:46,944 - Hope you like the petite quiche. 313 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,112 - Oh, just what I want. 314 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,570 Quiche from a grocery store. 315 00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,708 No, thank you, I had diarrhea already today. 316 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,714 - Okay, well we have-- 317 00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:53,705 - Speaking of, can you tell us 318 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,006 Where the toilet paper is? 319 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,677 - Toilet paper is in aisle eight. 320 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,117 - We'll just be on our way then. [quiche plops] 321 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,352 - You guys are so interesting. 322 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,288 - Well, we're super rich, and this place is for poor people 323 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,364 So it's a very interesting dynamic. 324 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,363 - But I really think you would enjoy these quiches. 325 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,125 - [farts] ooh, doorknob. 326 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:13,333 - Oh, well. 327 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,365 Thank you. 328 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:23,138 - Look at america, it's crazy. I mean, this kid. 329 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,705 - [sighs] the world's coming to an end. 330 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,384 - I wanna tell him it's gonna get better 331 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,152 Because of the internet videos, but I don't think so. 332 00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,621 - I think that's for gay kids, 333 00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:33,419 Not for kids who are just going down in flames. 334 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,192 Hey! 335 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,561 - [groans] 336 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,060 - I'm the king of gallons! 337 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,762 [both cackle] 338 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,959 - Yes! - Blop blop blop! 339 00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:46,027 - What can I do for you today? 340 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,625 - We just wanna dome some cats. 341 00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:50,336 - What gun did the menendez brothers use 342 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,099 To rightfully kill their parents? 343 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,608 - They used a shotgun, but I'm thinking you boys 344 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,469 Might like something like a, uh, glock. 345 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,008 - Wow. - Glock. 346 00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:58,712 - Check it out. 347 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,154 - Oh, and then do you have hollow points? 348 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,779 What are hollow points? - Hollow points? 349 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,214 Hollow points are a type of ammunition 350 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,049 And what they do is they go in small and they come out big. 351 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,885 - [explosion sound] they make your head explode. 352 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,150 - Exactly. - Aw. 353 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,458 - If you would...Shoot someone in the head. 354 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,230 - Nice. And so, like, is there a waiting period for, like, 355 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,490 White people? - Good question. 356 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,798 - For white people? No. No. 357 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,870 - So, as far as sex goes, does owning a gun, 358 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,030 Like, change that forever? 359 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,267 - I wanna, like, curve it. - No, it-- 360 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,542 - You know, like mcavoy in wanted. Like-- 361 00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:26,671 [gunshot] - [screams] 362 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:29,305 My ear! - Wendells! Behave yourself. 363 00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:31,911 - Oh, bebe, I'm so sorry. [alarm siren blares] 364 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,914 - Freeze! - Ooh... 365 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,076 - You're going to jail! 366 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,815 You're going to jail! 367 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,850 - Cool, so is this, like, a courtesy shuttle? 368 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,063 - Thanks, maureen. 369 00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,704 Both: Oh...Hello. 370 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,870 - How are you? I'm george st. Geegland. 371 00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:54,899 - Oh, charmed, I'm sure. 372 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:58,644 I'm gil faizon. 373 00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,871 What am I supposed to say? 374 00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,135 - And this is our prank show. 375 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:05,413 - And this is our prank show, too much tuna. 376 00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:08,614 - Every week on too much tuna, we prank someone 377 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,347 By giving them too much tuna fish. 378 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,482 - Which is a delicious fish. 379 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,117 - Pranks are the hot new thing. 380 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:15,752 From candid camera to bloopers and practicing jokes. 381 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,988 - To ashram kitchen's pranth'd. 382 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,055 - This week our guest is our dear, dear friend, 383 00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:24,655 Dr. Jeffrey gurian, d.D.S. 384 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,697 - Jeffrey gurian, you've led such a fascinating life. 385 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:30,372 Do tell us about it. 386 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:33,072 - Well, you know, I have led a fascinating life. 387 00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,965 I was born in new york. 388 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,877 I, uh, I write. I write projects. 389 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,009 Gurian news network. - Oh. 390 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,384 - Gnn. - Gnn. 391 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:41,952 - Can I get shot of you two? - Yeah. 392 00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,321 - Yeah? Okay. Cool. 393 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,380 [snaps picture] 394 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,317 One more. - One with my eyes closed. 395 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,593 - Yeah. [snaps picture] 396 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,091 - You know, jeffrey, you're on our prank show, 397 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:51,992 Too much tuna where we're gonna deliver 398 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,464 Too much tuna fish to you. - I mean, I-- 399 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:58,462 - Well let's just see what happens. 400 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,127 Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you. 401 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,225 - Okay. You're probably thinking... 402 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,898 - You're probably... - You're probably thinking 403 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,066 That's too much tuna. 404 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,074 - No, I'm not thinking anything. No. 405 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,065 I think it's great. 406 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,206 - You ticked off? 407 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,210 - No, not at all. It's-- 408 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,211 - Are you just heated at us 409 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,612 For giving you this much tuna? 410 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,984 - Not at all. - Too much. 411 00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,852 - We've had a lot of guests on too much tuna. 412 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,480 - And this is just too much tuna. 413 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:17,515 - This is fabulous. 414 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:18,519 - Listen, that's too much tuna 415 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,220 And we just pranked you but good. 416 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,422 I mean, there's a camera right there. 417 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:22,423 - Look, oh y-- - you want me to leave here? 418 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:23,424 - You're on a prank show. 419 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:24,515 There's a camera behind you. 420 00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:25,516 - I'm not looking, I'm not looking. 421 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:26,817 - There's a camera over there. 422 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:27,829 - I'm not even looking. - You've been pranked. 423 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:28,830 You're sitting here. 424 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:29,831 - How do you feel? 425 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:30,962 - The tuna's perfect. 426 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,356 - You're on a prank show called 427 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,668 Too much tuna, jeff, whether you like it or not. 428 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:37,269 - No, I'm not. 429 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,743 - ♪ I'll treat you right 430 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,342 - So the party's going, like, amazing. 431 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,784 Like, everything is, like, really english. 432 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,780 The ceo is, like, really happy with how I'm schmoozing her. 433 00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:48,853 Thank you cassandra. 434 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,451 I just, like, don't know if liz 435 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:51,682 Could, like bring it. 436 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,517 - I'm backstage, totally calm 437 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,193 And ready to take on the performance. 438 00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:58,462 - I think what we're doing is just, like, 439 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,290 Building anticipation. 440 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,786 You know that feeling of, like, 441 00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,057 "oh, my god, is it gonna happen? 442 00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:04,755 Is it gonna happen?" - all right. Is it gonna happen? 443 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,967 - [vocalizes nasally] 444 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,930 - Oh, my god, you look amazing. 445 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,099 - Oh, my god, you look amazing. 446 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,166 Are you putting on weight? 447 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,214 - Wait, weight? 448 00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,742 The client is ready and then she's super demanding. 449 00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,277 She knows exactly what she wants... 450 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,312 - Right. - And, like, what she wants 451 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,407 Is a great night. 452 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:23,648 - Liz. - Uh-huh? 453 00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,822 - I feel like you think I'm not gonna deliver. 454 00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,321 - [muffled] oh, my god. 455 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,223 - Why would I put our business at risk? 456 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:32,194 - Like, if you don't [muffled speech] 457 00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,194 - [squeaky] I want to perform! 458 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,825 - Of course, then, like, just do it. 459 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,000 - Right. - It's gonna be [muffled speech] 460 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,599 I'm, like, freaking out. 461 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,230 Am I gonna have to get up there and sing myself? 462 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:43,066 I have a beautiful voice, but I have not 463 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,402 Sang since my bat mitzvah. 464 00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:48,307 - [hyperventilates] 465 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,310 [squeaking] 466 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,354 - Oh, my god, here she is. 467 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:04,315 [tires screeching] hold on, what is she doing? 468 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,456 - ♪ look at me, don't look at me ♪ 469 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,492 ♪ I'm the one who knows who's me ♪ 470 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,497 ♪ I'm the queen, the queen of mean ♪ 471 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,830 Oh, my god, my voice sounds amazing. 472 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,426 ♪ I am the queen of mean 473 00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:19,168 - I always had total faith that liz could deliver, 474 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,174 And she did. 475 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,805 - ♪ I need a drink 476 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,710 ♪ cultured water 477 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,042 - It's, like, so on brand, and it's like perfect 478 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,848 For cultured water, right? 479 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,950 She's really delivering. 480 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,683 - Did you remember to refrigerate this? 481 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,389 - Weigh it? 482 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:39,392 - ♪ I'm the queen, the queen of mean ♪ 483 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,855 ♪ I am so mean, so mean to the extreme ♪ 484 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,225 ♪ so just let me be mean 485 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:49,465 ♪ I am the queen of mean 486 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:53,501 To the land of England. 487 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,339 - Apparently they neglected to refrigerate the yogurt drinks. 488 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:00,408 Everyone got sick. 489 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,146 It's been all over the internet. 490 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,181 - Oh, my god. 491 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,185 - ♪ I'll treat you right-- [belches] 492 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:16,257 - [speaks chinese] 493 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,875 - Yes, the fun loans people are gonna make 494 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,281 A ton of money off of me. 495 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,682 I didn't realize that it was 50% interest, 496 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:12,875 But, I mean, the opportunity to meet bart simpson 497 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,888 Was just too much for me. 498 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,220 - [laughs] 499 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:21,686 - Can you take an animated gif? 500 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,987 - One where I look like the black dude 501 00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:24,828 Who looks like the predator in dave matthews band. 502 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,863 The violin player. 503 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,481 What's up, guys? 504 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:42,380 - What up? 505 00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:43,684 - I like you. 506 00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,175 - I like you too, man. 507 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,777 - I'm gonna kill you. 508 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:47,788 - This is where I start to cry. 509 00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:49,219 - I'm gonna rape you. 510 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,894 - You seem great. 511 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,063 - Bruckenhiemer, shawn, you are free to go. 512 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:55,732 - Oh, thank you, daddy. 513 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,901 - [bleep] you. 514 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,300 - [bleep] you! 515 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,201 - [bleep] you! - [bleep] you! 516 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,403 - Blow me, bro. 517 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,174 - [bleep] hitler. 518 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,073 - [laughs] - see ya. 519 00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:08,814 - Cell phone. - For the hoes. 520 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,780 - One gold nail file. - For the toes. 521 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:14,810 - That's it, gents. Empty. 522 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,349 - Come on. 523 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,083 - We came in with one more thing in our pockets. 524 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:22,788 - Um...I don't know what you guys are talking about. 525 00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:24,961 - I did a semester at bart, so I'm a pretty good writer. 526 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,990 So the yelp review I'm gonna write about this place 527 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,985 Is gonna be scathing. 528 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:30,897 - His word choice is brilliant. 529 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:32,599 - You're idiots. 530 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:34,031 Leave now. 531 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,066 - Give me my cocaine or I'm gonna have a spaz attack! 532 00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:44,911 - So do you guys have, like, good memories? Or... 533 00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:46,943 - [cracks neck] 534 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,580 - Bummer. 535 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:51,576 - Bruckenhiemer, shawn, you are free to go. 536 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:52,817 [both laugh] 537 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,491 - Thank you, daddy. 538 00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:56,819 - [bleep] you! 539 00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,255 - [bleep] you! 540 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,490 [bleep] you! - [bleep] you! 541 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,525 - Eat my [bleep]. Okay? 542 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,561 - [laughs] good at bizness. 543 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:09,399 - My hand--my hand smells so bad I'm passing out. 544 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,804 - What do they smell like? - Tuna. 545 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:11,796 - Oh. 546 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,337 - You know what, I have purell. 547 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,612 I have purell-- I carry purell on my waist. 548 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:16,811 - You gotta carry purell. 549 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,842 Oh, there you go. - It hangs from my waist. 550 00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:20,207 - And it looks like a kabbalah bracelet. 551 00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:21,245 - It does.