1 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:04,570 - Hi. - Hi. 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,572 - We wanted to purchase a plane. 3 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:07,639 - An airplane? - Yes. 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:10,242 It's just that we invited axl rose and tyrese 5 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,778 Onto our plane, and they did some "dermage." 6 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:13,245 - Yar. 7 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,047 - Well, I'm so sorry to hear about your plane, 8 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,616 But we don't sell whole planes. We just sell seats. 9 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:21,553 - Okay, let us purchase two first-class tickets, please, 10 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,422 To dubai. - Dubai. 11 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,357 - We need to get to the dubai film festival. 12 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,226 - Mm-hmm. - We've got a short-sub doc 13 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,627 About the plight of the iraqi people 14 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,395 Who live in beverly hills. 15 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:33,499 - Okay, well, I have one flight left out to dubai. 16 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,867 It leaves in an hour and a half. 17 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,302 And I have two seats available 18 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,504 In coach. 19 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,239 [dramatic crescendo] - okay. 20 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,508 - I mean, it's ironic that we're flying coach 21 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,509 To the middle east, 22 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,544 Because I "derfinitely" feel like a martyr. 23 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,380 - Oh, my goobers. What is this? 24 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,382 Oh... - We forgot that we have to 25 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,316 Go through security. 26 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,452 - I'm sorry, do we still have to do this 27 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,686 If we know god is dead? 28 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,289 - You know what, wendalls? We've gotta get rid 29 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,291 Of a few things. - Yeah. 30 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:02,327 Okay...Whale ambien. 31 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:03,128 - You can take that, right? 32 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,297 I mean, it's in the shape of a crescent moon. 33 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,899 It would be respectful. 34 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:07,666 Bye-burr. 35 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,234 - Fun gun. - Now, wait. 36 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,736 Is that our actual gun, or is that gun we use 37 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,271 To shoot schneef right into our bloodstream? 38 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:16,508 - No, this is super heavy. I think it's real. 39 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,277 - Yeah, this is real. - Bye. 40 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,178 - Burr-burr. [gunshot] 41 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,047 - Original costumes from the motion picture dick tracy. 42 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,449 - No, keep those. 43 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,784 Boo-yaka-shah. 44 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:26,952 - Omg! 45 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,288 - Hey, tom thanks, let's do a forrest bump. 46 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,989 - Mmm. - [snorts] 47 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,357 [coughs] ooh... 48 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,060 - Ahh! Schneef. It's what's for dinner. 49 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,528 - [chuckles] the other white schneef. 50 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,697 - Ooh. - Okay, rest in schneef. 51 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,733 I'm good. 52 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:43,502 - Hello, gentlemen. 53 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,571 I just want to remind you you are sitting 54 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,005 In an emergency exit row. 55 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,340 Are you willing and able to assist 56 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,942 In the event of an emergency? 57 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,944 - Yar. Yar. 58 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:55,547 - Can you operate the emergency door? 59 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,317 - Uhhhh... [both laugh] 60 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:01,353 - Can you operate the emergency door? 61 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,889 - Aah! 62 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,090 - Just a "yes." 63 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,625 - Definitely. - Turtally. 64 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,194 [both laughing] - I'm sorry? 65 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,996 - Definitely. - Turtally. 66 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,799 - Say yes. - Yarn! 67 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:17,069 - Does--does that mean yes? - Yeah. 68 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:20,172 [dubstep music] 69 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:29,214 ♪ 70 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,751 - Being a teenager, like, kids are hitting puberty 71 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,787 And it's like that first stage of becoming a werewolf, 72 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:39,424 Where they're sorta... [groans] 73 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,093 Their knuckles are, like, curling. 74 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,227 They're just like... [groans] 75 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:46,131 And they're just like... "uh...I don't want dinner. 76 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,300 I'll be in my room. 77 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:51,436 Yo, what's up, tv? I'm c-czar. Blah! Blah! Blah! 78 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:54,373 I'm about to become a teenage dad. 79 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,341 And now, if I wanna be in my baby's life, 80 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,877 I need to learn a whole new set of skills. 81 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,780 Welcome to dad academy. 82 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,883 - Doctor. Doctor. 83 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,452 - Oh, snap, it's dr. Armond. 84 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,820 - You got that right, homeboy. 85 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,789 I'm the cool cucumber. 86 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,959 - Oh, you stick it up your own ass, you weird gay dude? 87 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,694 - I know that you had a troubled upbringing, 88 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,529 So I don't take offense at any of the things 89 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,331 That you're trying to say to me. 90 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,366 As a doctor and a father, 91 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,834 I've learned never to lose my cool. 92 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,237 - Oh, you're talking about losing your cool? 93 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,140 What about when you lost your cool and you killed your wife? 94 00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,675 - I did not murder my wife, c-czar. 95 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,810 - Can I straight up tell you if I murdered someone, 96 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,313 I would make a rap video about it and put it on youtube 97 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,048 So everyone knew I was crazy hard. 98 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,516 But I don't have murder inside of me. 99 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:40,252 What's it like to be inside the mind of a killer, armond? 100 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,922 - My lawyer said that I didn't need to answer those questions. 101 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,425 I was told that I would come on the show today 102 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,127 As a dad expert, not as someone on trial. 103 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,395 - Yo, straight up, dr. Armond, 104 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,530 I can't see you. Hold up. 105 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,866 - If I had murdered her, I would have been enraged. 106 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,203 I'm not--I don't- 107 00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,671 - That's why I turned the monitor around, 108 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,139 For you to say some dumbass [bleep]? 109 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:04,509 - I've come on this show to teach you to be a better father. 110 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:08,814 And you little toilet baby, you piece of [bleep]... 111 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,582 Hmm. I won't react. 112 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,584 - I will. - Aah! 113 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,620 I'm "the belt." 114 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,456 - Nice try, small fry. 115 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,629 - In one state, the tale of two big cities... 116 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,498 - The city of brotherly love. - Welcome to the 'burgh. 117 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,533 - With two even bigger personalities. 118 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,901 - I'm murph, owner and operator 119 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,138 South philly murph's pawn shop on south street. 120 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,007 Here in philly, I got all the business 121 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,908 And women I can handle. [tires screech] 122 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,510 - If you're looking for something steelers, 123 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,346 Pirates, penguins, we got all that crap 124 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,581 Down at don's pawn. 125 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,715 Oh, that's good as hell. 126 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,751 Welcome... - Welcome... 127 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:49,187 To pawnsylvania. 128 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,089 - You're coming by tomorrow 129 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,025 To pick up them laundries, aren't you, anyway? 130 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,327 - Oh, yeah, I gotta get them laundries. 131 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:58,163 [phone ringing] - hello? 132 00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,731 - Murph. Don. 133 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,966 - What's up, don? You want advice 134 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:01,933 On how to win a world series? 135 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,835 - Pbbbt. No, I'm calling to give you advice 136 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,437 On how to win one super bowl... Ever. 137 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,805 - I got a pawn shop to run here, don. 138 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,875 - Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't know anything about that. 139 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,277 Listen, jaggoff, I got a whole treasure trove 140 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,111 Of philly magazines, okay? 141 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,982 One of 'em's got a picture of darren daulton in a tux 142 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:17,516 Eating a hotdog. 143 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,518 - That one where he got the mustard on his face? 144 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,252 - Yeah, that's the one. 145 00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:21,987 - Oh, that would move here for sure. 146 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,488 [baseball music] 147 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,123 Now that you mention it, I get them slacks worn 148 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,460 By jean claude van damme in that movie sudden death. 149 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,462 [exciting music] 150 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,831 - Double yoi! A pittsburgh classic. 151 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,534 - Every piece of [bleep]'s a classic in pittsburgh. 152 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,034 - [laughs] 153 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,237 - Well, I got something I could sell there. 154 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,672 You got something you could sell here. 155 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:44,276 - Yeah? What of it? 156 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,378 - [whispers] swap shops. 157 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,181 - Don, I just had a home run idea. 158 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,782 Why don't we swap shops? 159 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,050 - Sounds good. 160 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:52,951 Pookie? - Yeah. 161 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:53,752 - I'm philly-bound. 162 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,954 Will you pack me a chip-chop ham sandwich? 163 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,090 - What is "double yoi"? 164 00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:00,292 - Double yoi. Double yoi. God rest your soul. 165 00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:03,695 Myron cope was the steelers announcer for years and years, 166 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,931 And he used to say "yoi" and "double yoi" 167 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:09,935 Whenever the steelers would do something, I think, bad. 168 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,603 But it might have been good. 169 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,711 Both: Oh, hello. 170 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,413 - Of course, I'm gil faizon. 171 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,514 - And I'm george st. Geegland. 172 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,117 - And this is a new episode of "too much tuna." 173 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:27,252 - So what's up, all you tunaheads? 174 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,353 - Let's take a moment of silence 175 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,721 For our producer, len lumpkin, 176 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,923 Who died this week from car accident 177 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,091 Followed by aneurysm. 178 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,061 - He was in a car accident. He was okay. 179 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,463 A moment of silence. 180 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:42,000 [slurping] 181 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,936 Because len's dead, we have a new crew member 182 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,038 Taking his place. Nora? 183 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,106 - Nora. - Nora. 184 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,008 - It's act-- it's actually "noah." 185 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,576 - Oh, you're noah. 186 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,012 Sometimes gil's gonna have dementia, 187 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,415 And you're gonna have to shave him in the morning. 188 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,849 - Yeah, I gotta do it in bathtub 189 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,685 So I can look at the hairs float. 190 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,889 - This week's episode is gonna be extra special. 191 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,057 - Yeah, 'cause somebody's getting pranked, 192 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,826 And they don't know about it yet. 193 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:12,631 - So tuna in to see who's gonna get pranked. 194 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,867 How odd, it's just the two of us sitting here 195 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,536 On "too much tuna." 196 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,805 - Yeah, with nobody... 197 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:20,939 Getting pranked. 198 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,576 - Well, as long as we're waiting for, uh... 199 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:29,214 Our prank guest, why don't we have a little lunch? 200 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:34,052 Oh, ho, ho! What is the meaning of this? 201 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,054 - This is supposed to go in front of him. 202 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,656 - What is this? No, I don't want-- 203 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,057 - No, I think there's a problem here 204 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,392 'cause this is supposed to be... 205 00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:42,594 - No, actually, I think... - In front of him. 206 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,963 - This is supposed to be over here. 207 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,164 - Because if you look at this-- 208 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,266 I'm not supposed to have this [mutters] in one week. 209 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,203 - This is not for me. I don't want this. 210 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,171 Ida, this is not supposed to be here. 211 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,039 I'm not gonna have it. 212 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,874 - I'm supposed to give this to him. 213 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:56,875 - You've got too much tuna. 214 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,177 - What do you think's happening the other way around here? 215 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,445 - Nothing's happening. I got a potato bun. 216 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,681 There's something under it. I'm not even looking. 217 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,682 I don't even care. 218 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,217 - The tables have turned, friend. 219 00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:07,319 There's a whole mountain of tuna fish 220 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,653 Right in front of you. 221 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,022 Look what's happened here. - Uh-oh. 222 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,358 - It's-- it's too much tuna. 223 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,293 - It's two...Much tuna. 224 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,564 - It's--I've been pranked. It's too much tuna. 225 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,601 - You're born a schmuck and you'll die a schmuck. 226 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,802 Welcome to hell, idiot. 227 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,238 [upbeat orchestral finish] 228 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,608 - Yeah, sometimes when I'm alone I'll make up songs to myself. 229 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,510 - Uh-huh. - Um, and then, 230 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,845 Enough time will pass, and they'll become, 231 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,213 Like, real songs in my mind, 232 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,716 And I'll remember one from a long time ago, 233 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,385 As if it were a song that exists, but it doesn't. 234 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,686 - And can we hear one of those? 235 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,356 - Well, the number one hit song out of all the songs 236 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,992 That I've ever made up goes like this. 237 00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:49,694 ♪ some people like to see me do my thing ♪ 238 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:53,565 ♪ some people like to see me move around ♪ 239 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,199 - [laughs] 240 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,368 - That's a song that I made up. 241 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,640 - So basically, it's day one of the shop swap. 242 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,942 I'm good to go, but don I'm worried about. 243 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,644 Things move pretty fast in philadelphia, 244 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,013 Like jimmy rollins stealing home. [chuckles] 245 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,315 - Ha ha! What's up here, boy? 246 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,517 Nice little gun here. [gunshot] 247 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,452 These aren't used for anything but, like, 248 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:18,223 Clandestine murder, so we don't really do this, dude, sorry. 249 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,592 I'm racist, but, like, you seem cool. 250 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,259 [dog whines] 251 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,295 Assalam alaikum. - Yeah, where's murph at? 252 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,297 - Hey, what's up? Are you meredith? 253 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:26,998 - No, I'm theresa. Who's meredith? 254 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,800 - I don't know, but someone named meredith came by 255 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,270 And left this sexy note for don. - What? Are you kidding me? 256 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,371 What a dirt! - No, theresa, 257 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,940 You got nothing to worry about. That's ain't sexy. 258 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,241 - We're supposed to go up to king of prussia mall. 259 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,878 We've got tickets to see the philly phanatic. 260 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,146 - She needs to chill out. 261 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,281 - Who's this jokester? - [chuckles] 262 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,716 - This is murph's cousin. 263 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,719 - Don. - He's from pittsburgh. 264 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,590 - He gets the job done. [laughs] 265 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,392 - Yo, you gotta be careful with that, okay, 266 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:57,762 'cause murph associates with a lot of ladies around here. 267 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,966 He gets more crack than the liberty bell. 268 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:03,001 [chuckles] - all right, shut up. 269 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,235 - Hey, beautiful, I never noticed 270 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,770 That phillies-red hair of yours. 271 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,238 - [chuckles] [phone rings] 272 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,473 Hey, babe. - Hey, pookie. 273 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,808 Is my cousin getting nubby on you? 274 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,210 'cause he does, swear to god, 275 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:12,844 I'll kill him. 276 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,646 - No, he's harmless. - Hey, beautiful... 277 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,581 Tell him I'm getting real comfortable here. 278 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,383 I might just steal you away. 279 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,018 - Tell don jr. I said shut up. 280 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,519 - Don says shut up. He loves you. 281 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,654 - Hey, where's the john in this john? 282 00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,589 - Oh, it's in the back. - I love you. 283 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,492 I miss watching you dip french fries in mayo. 284 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,026 I miss deb. 285 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,127 She's a smiley face on my cookie. 286 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,963 I need her in my life or I don't feel complete. 287 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,832 With don in town, it's different. 288 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,233 It's just like a whole other vibe. 289 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,168 You know, he's, like, from another country. 290 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,437 Uh, looking to sell this crocheted steelers 291 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,439 Tissue box cover I told don about. 292 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:45,010 [Monday night football theme] 293 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:45,910 - Uh-uh. I don't think so. 294 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,946 We've got enough steelers crocheted stuff already. 295 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,382 Money for that crap? That's the kind of attitude 296 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:53,084 That sunk both my brothers' weight-lifting gyms. 297 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,452 - Why don't you go back to philly, 298 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,720 And don come back to pittsburgh? 299 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:58,623 - I mean, if that's how don's running things here, 300 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,291 What the hell's he doing with my shop? 301 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,193 - So this is aluminum with mother of pearl, 302 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:08,333 And then this is cubic zirconia with candy. 303 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,569 - What youse want? 304 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,338 - Just looking around at your stereos. 305 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,372 - Cool, man. Can I interest you 306 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,908 In a 1995 darren daulton philly magazine? 307 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,309 It's a classic shot. 308 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,477 [baseball music] 309 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,413 - Gimme your money, man! - Whoa, dude, whoa! 310 00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,114 - Get down on the ground. I'm robbing this joint! 311 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,716 - You know, there's a reason why they call this town 312 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,952 Filth-a-delphia. It's 'cause it's scum. 313 00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,487 - Get down! - Whoa! 314 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,555 - I'm robbing this joint. 315 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,057 - We're already being robbed. 316 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,124 Can you go down the street? 317 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,926 This is a pretty good location, so you know, 318 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,295 The pro is that people come and browse around, 319 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,864 But the con is just getting double-robbed. 320 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,634 - I'm not gonna get shot for this bullcrap, all right? 321 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:43,902 - He ain't gonna shoot you. 322 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,136 They know the rules. 323 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:48,139 - Listen, jeff, you ever been in love? 324 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,908 - No, I haven't. 325 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,610 - That's the difference between you and me, dude. 326 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,145 I've found what's really important, 327 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:58,516 And I'm not willing to risk that for some pawn shop, okay? 328 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,351 [gunshot] - [bleep] 329 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,953 - We always get robbed on fridays. 330 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,421 - Have you been convicted of a crime 331 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,290 But can't afford the legal expenses? 332 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,958 - Hi, I'm ron funches. 333 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,993 Just to be clear, I am a public defender. 334 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:12,130 I know what you're saying. "why does a public defender 335 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,800 Need a commercial?" 336 00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:18,703 The bad news is you're going to be convicted. 337 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,205 - Guilty! - We tried. 338 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,507 And if I'm randomly selected to be your lawyer, 339 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:25,910 I'll bring you a nice box of my aunt sandi's 340 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,246 Pecan sandies. 341 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,481 [cell phone rings] 342 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,116 Guess my work's never done. 343 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,151 I have to go meet with a new client. 344 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,486 Or should I say friend? 345 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,821 - My wife is dead. I've lost all my money. 346 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,890 I can no longer afford my high-powered attorney, 347 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:42,660 And everyone's abandoned me-- that's why I'm here. 348 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,662 - Pecan sandie? 349 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,265 - I'm more of a mint milano man myself, but-- 350 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,199 - So you killed your wife? 351 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,868 - I never laid a hand on my wife, 352 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,470 Except on occasional special evenings. 353 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,573 - [laughs] - [chuckles weakly] 354 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,841 It feels really good to laugh. 355 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:57,742 - You look like a highlighter. 356 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,678 - And you look like a hairy chocolate gummi bear. 357 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,646 - [laughs] 358 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,114 - I gotta tell you, mr. Funches, 359 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,451 We're gonna laugh all the way to not going to jail. 360 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:10,555 - Even though you're not guilty, I'm gonna take the case. 361 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,290 - Do you have a choice in that? - No. 362 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,192 - 'cause you're a public defender. 363 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,127 - Yeah. 364 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,128 - Dr. Armond, please rise. 365 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,332 You stand here accused of murder in the second degree. 366 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,367 How do you plead? 367 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,703 - Guilty... Of loving my wife. 368 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,638 - [laughs] 369 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,341 [upbeat wrap-up music] 370 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,578 - I was on youtube looking at comments, 371 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,147 Which, as you should-- - oh, you can't do that. 372 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,950 - I know. But I ended up doing it, 373 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,552 And they're all, like, "oh, this sweaty, 374 00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:46,024 "obese black guy who talks about black things that have hap--" 375 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,325 Which I don't even really do. 376 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,459 - You don't talk about black things. 377 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,228 That's why I'm comfortable with you. 378 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,796 - [laughs] 379 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:55,200 [exciting big band open] 380 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:59,704 ♪ 381 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,940 Both: Oh, hello. 382 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,776 - Okay, so, gil-- 383 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:05,777 So I looked over your chart-- 384 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,312 - Of course, I'm gil faizon. 385 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,247 - And I'm george st. Geegland his associate. 386 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,983 - So I looked over your chart, and you have mercury poisoning. 387 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,185 - Thank you. - No, actually, it's terrible. 388 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,155 You have high levels of mercury in your blood, 389 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,289 Which is a very toxic poison. 390 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,226 - And that's what freddie mercury died of? 391 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,027 - No, he died of aids. 392 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,462 - Right. He was poisoned by it. 393 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,864 So it was mercury's poisoning. 394 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,765 - No, actuall-- - we're saying the same thing. 395 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,801 - Can I ask you about some of your symptoms? 396 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,536 Are you feeling fatigue? - Yeah. 397 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,503 - Muscle weakness? - Yeah. 398 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,673 - Okay, any peeling skin? - Yeah, it peels right off. 399 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:36,341 - Like wallpaper. 400 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:39,744 - Well, these are all symptoms of mercury poisoning, so... 401 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,613 - I don't understand how you could have this. 402 00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:42,780 You just got a clean bill of health. 403 00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:45,717 - Yeah. I just went through a doctors checkup. 404 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,451 - Who was the physician? 405 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,053 - About a month ago, I saw dr. Wong. 406 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:49,787 - Lou wong. Yeah. 407 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,389 - Is that your primary physician? 408 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:55,093 - He was the primary suspect in a botched c-section. 409 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,728 - Yeah. - So he didn't do 410 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,129 Any blood work or anything? 411 00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,163 - Lou wong? - No, no, no. 412 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,699 He was waving a gun around and screaming. 413 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,902 Race riot this, race riot that. - Yeah. 414 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,904 - I'm gonna prescribe a supplement for you 415 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,505 Of selenium, and I would recommend 416 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,307 That you stop eating all fish. 417 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,142 - I mean, I eat a little bit of tuna fish. 418 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,878 - Occasionally tuna fish. - Occasionally. 419 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,179 - Okay, occasionally. 420 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,147 Um, what does that mean? 421 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,815 - I don't know, I don't have more than 422 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,985 Three dollops of tuna, you know, per meal. 423 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,153 - Two, three ice cream scoop's worth? 424 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,889 - Yeah. I mean, about a "handsful" is one dollop. 425 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,459 - You have three meals of tuna fish per day? 426 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,361 - You gotta eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, don't you? 427 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,530 - Three squares, or rounds, if you're talking 428 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,932 About tuna dollops. - Okay. 429 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,267 - I don't think we've been eating too much tuna. 430 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,137 - Okay. I recommend that you should really 431 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,838 Stop eating tuna altogether. 432 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,575 - I don't think that's too much tuna. 433 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,377 - Well, it--it is. 434 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,881 - I've been eating... Too much tuna. 435 00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,616 [clears throat] - uh-oh. 436 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,117 - Oh, what could this be? - What is this? 437 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:53,885 - What's this? 438 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,119 - What is the meaning of this? 439 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,056 - What's that? 440 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,524 - It's a very old sandwich. 441 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,093 - You've just been pranked. - You idiot. 442 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:02,961 You stupid bitch. 443 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,763 There's a sandwich on your desk now. 444 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:06,898 Too much tuna. 445 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,901 [orchestral wind up] 446 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,137 - Right. Well, besides it being mercury poisoning, 447 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,173 It's actually food poisoning because 448 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,474 That mayonnaise seems warm. 449 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,409 - I mean, the mayonnaise is curdled, 450 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,178 But he's built up a tolerance. 451 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,312 - Well, it doesn't smell good. 452 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,947 - It's turning, isn't it? - Yeah. And I have-- 453 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:26,250 - Plus, I switched off the a.C. When I came in. 454 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:29,921 [upbeat music] 455 00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,990 - I was afraid that murph was getting the wrong impression 456 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:35,460 Of pittsburgh, so I invited him over for a home-cooked meal. 457 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,861 - From the moment I got to pittsburgh, 458 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:37,562 I wanted to go home. 459 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,964 But now that I'm getting to know deb a little bit, 460 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,900 Maybe pittsburgh's not so bad. 461 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,802 Mmm. Okay. 462 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,537 It's crazy, I ain't never had a salad before. 463 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,540 I mean, one time I ate two pickles at an eagles game. 464 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:50,541 - Nuh-uh. - Yeah. 465 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,843 - That's cool. - Never had a home-cooked meal. 466 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,178 You know, you'd think my mom would have done it, 467 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,048 But she got shot in the face at the ten-year reunion 468 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:57,982 Of bicentennial. 469 00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,351 - Oh, my god, are you sinserious? 470 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,887 - Fries on a salad? A-plus. 471 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,188 I'm gonna [bleep] deb. 472 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,525 - I'm worried about murph in pittsburgh with deb. 473 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:11,529 He puts his cheez whiz-eating hands on her at all, 474 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,830 I'm gonna wring his neck. 475 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,600 You know what I'm saying? He's a sleaze. 476 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,135 - Everyone says I'm a real good dancer. 477 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,571 - You are really good. [cell phone vibrating] 478 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,875 - Hey, pookie. How's it going? 479 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,710 Some scary crap just went down. 480 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,678 - Get on the ground. I'm robbing this joint! 481 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,880 - Get down! I'm robbing this joint! 482 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,282 - Deb always answers the phone after one ring. 483 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,484 So she didn't this time. I feel like a jaggoff. 484 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:39,323 - And the music's over. Oh, I'm--I can't. 485 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,291 I'm a married lady. 486 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,592 - That's literally never happened to me before. 487 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,096 - Obviously, murph's, like, real sexy and cosmopolitan. 488 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,964 But I would never cheat on my pookie. 489 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:50,668 Not in my hass. Not in my ton. 490 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,402 - Don's a lucky man. 491 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,405 I'm gonna get out of [bleep] pittsburgh. 492 00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:58,476 - Guess I have to take matters into my own hands. 493 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:02,647 Both: Oh, hello. 494 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,415 - Of course I'm charmed. I'm sure gil faizon. 495 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,452 - And I am also at the same time charmed, I'm sure, 496 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,119 George st. Geegland. 497 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,823 We're the hosts of television's "too much tuna." 498 00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:14,392 - But there's nothing tuna about joking around. 499 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:18,429 - Over a billion people die of mercury poisoning... 500 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,330 Both: Every year. 501 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,131 - While you're peeing, 502 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,800 Little chunks of tuna fish come out... 503 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,204 Then you've probably got an issue. 504 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,840 - You know, they say that, like, 505 00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,375 Jews from new york and l.A. Kind of run the comedy scene, 506 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,743 But, I mean, on our staff alone, 507 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,613 There are you guys and one or two other writers 508 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,116 Who are all from philly or pittsburgh, so you know... 509 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:43,121 - Yeah, but you, levenstein, and krisel are our bosses. 510 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,755 - Yeah. 511 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,024 - Yeah, so... - Nothing's changed. 512 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:47,758 [upbeat music] 513 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,760 - Okay, so I couldn't understand a word 514 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:50,928 Anybody was saying in pittsburgh, 515 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:54,198 So I gos-- I go back to philadelphia. 516 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,767 - So I'm headed back to the 'burgh to see my pookie. 517 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,569 My cousin thinks he's real smooth, 518 00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,937 Like santana and rob thomas. 519 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,274 I'm gonna teach him what's up. 520 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,008 Oh, man. 521 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,444 Get ready to die, you dick! 522 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:09,480 [tires screech] 523 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,414 Dude! 524 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,650 What's up now, jaggoff? 525 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:13,518 - Jesus! - What's up now? 526 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,785 - What are you talking about? - Huh? 527 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,221 - Don, don, don-- what do you need, man? 528 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,690 - All I know is I got deb's voicemail. 529 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,526 I ain't never got deb's voicemail. 530 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,027 What did you do with my wife? 531 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,096 - Dude, cousin code, bro. 532 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:25,696 - Ain't no code. 533 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,466 You touch my wife, code's over. - Dude, go ahead. 534 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,934 - You're hiking through the woods right now, 535 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,536 And I'm jaggers. - What are jaggers? 536 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,937 - Prickers. - Okay, what are prickers? 537 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,673 - They're thorns! They scratch up your legs! 538 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,042 - Look, man, water under the bridge, okay? 539 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,043 - What do you know about bridges? 540 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,212 - I know I've been under your wife's bridge. 541 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,847 - You keep talking about deb like that, 542 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,382 I'm gonna ralph in your car, dude. 543 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,218 - Dude, you're gonna choke, just like bobby bonilla 544 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,119 And barry bonds did. 545 00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,922 - You don't talk about the "killer bs" that way! 546 00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:53,457 Listen. [click] 547 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,393 You owe me 75 bucks. - For what? 548 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,394 - 'cause that's broken, dude. 549 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:59,764 I bought that from your store, man. 550 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,533 She would never let me go to voicemail! 551 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,869 Hey! Hey! - Dude! 552 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,671 You need to chill out! - You need to chill out! 553 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,006 - Look, man, I'll be totally honest with you. 554 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,608 I tried to sleep with your wife, 555 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,709 She wouldn't have me. 556 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,177 You know why? - Why? 557 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:16,180 - 'cause you're a great dad, and an even better husband. 558 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,182 - Aw, are you serious, dude? Aww. 559 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,951 - Yeah, man. - Aw, my pookie. 560 00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:21,319 - And at the end of the day, 561 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,820 I'm all alone in my sad apartment. 562 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:26,123 - Oh, no, dude, it's not like all that. 563 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,959 You got a great 'stache, cool pants. 564 00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,894 And you're smoother than a rock in a crick. 565 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,396 You're like the opposite of a jaggoff. 566 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,398 - For real? - For real. 567 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,800 - You know what? We actually got 568 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,535 A lot more in common than we got different. 569 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,538 We're both cousins, we're both owner/operators, 570 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,406 And we're both from the best state 571 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,441 In the goddamn country. 572 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:46,744 - Keystone state. [applause] 573 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,946 - I ain't never going back to pittsburgh, 574 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,081 But if I can unload a couple 575 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,716 Of those darren daulton magazines, 576 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:54,051 I'll be able to afford that house down by the shore. 577 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,520 I'll definitely invite don and his wife and kid. 578 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,990 - [whistles] 579 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,662 - Ha ha. Good at bizness. 580 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,632 - I'm gonna prescribe a supplement for you. 581 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,833 - Do you have root beer-flavored prilosec? 582 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,002 I want vicodin max, like pepsi max. 583 00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:13,537 Do they make wild cherry-flavored celexa? 584 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,606 - I'm actually not treating you right now. 585 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,607 - I had a green bowel movement, 586 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,442 But I think it was from too much spray. 587 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,778 - Any tremors? - Not really?