1 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:08,970 [metal clanging] 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,140 - Ahh! 3 00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:12,370 - Que? Que? [speaking spanish] 4 00:00:12,410 --> 00:00:13,540 [both speaking spanish] 5 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,780 - What is it? What's wrong? 6 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:17,240 - He says this stone is from 1,000 miles away. 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,210 No man can tell how it got here. 8 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,020 - Hmm. 9 00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:24,050 Actually, I know one man that can. 10 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,860 - He was a member of an elite force in desert shield 11 00:00:27,890 --> 00:00:30,820 Who made the cardinal sin of stepping on a roadside bomb. 12 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:33,830 Only an igneous rock formation allowed him to breathe 13 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,660 And ultimately survive. 14 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,530 Legally dead, he now roams the earth's crust 15 00:00:38,570 --> 00:00:41,270 On his motorcycle as a renegade geologist. 16 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,710 [blues rock music] 17 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:49,880 ♪ 18 00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:51,550 [eagle screeching] 19 00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:00,550 - Doctor, you made it. 20 00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:03,460 - Now let me see this so-called rock. 21 00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,890 - Right here. - Hmm. 22 00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:10,900 Now let me investigate. 23 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:13,900 This appears to be conglomerate silica sediment. 24 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,740 - Huh? - Huh? 25 00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:18,010 - Limestone. 26 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,310 [laughing] gotta go. 27 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:28,850 [dubstep music] 28 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:36,890 ♪ 29 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,070 Mm. Mm. 30 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,110 What's the appropriate age 31 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,140 For a man to get plastic surgery? 32 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,410 What do you think that age is? 33 00:02:00,450 --> 00:02:03,780 [sighs] why don't I ask dr. Armond? 34 00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:05,790 Roll it. [camera shutter clicks] 35 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:08,120 This is one of the most relaxing hand massages 36 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,490 I've ever had in my entire life. 37 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,790 [phone chimes, barks] oh, my. 38 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:13,560 "shannon hearts armond." 39 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,660 My heart is jumping out of my chest. 40 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:21,340 - ♪ so happy to be 41 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:24,170 ♪ dr. Mrs. Armond 42 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,640 - Wow. There she is. 43 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,280 - ♪ you're special lover man 44 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:31,780 ♪ the most wonderful kind 45 00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:35,650 ♪ you make me feel love exploding out of my mind ♪ 46 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,290 ♪ oh, armond, you're the one ♪ 47 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,420 - This is my soon-to-be ex-wife shannon. 48 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,390 Have you ever been so in love 49 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,330 That you made a video for someone? 50 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,530 - Not that in love, no. - Hmm. 51 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,970 Then this really must be something special. 52 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,700 I mean, your substantial jaw must be on the floor, kelsey. 53 00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:57,100 - You're not considering reconciling, old friend. 54 00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:59,410 - I love my wife. What can I do, kels? 55 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,670 - Play the fiel-- [earpiece beeps] 56 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,910 - Oh, my. The door is ajar. 57 00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:04,850 Watch out, my sweet. Here I come. 58 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,150 As I approached the bed, something seemed off. 59 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,880 It looks like you need a kiss from a prince 60 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,190 To wake you up. 61 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:13,650 - Freeze! 62 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,520 - Oh, my. She has no pulse. 63 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,990 As california's premier animal plastic surgeon, 64 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,660 I always strive for perfection. 65 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,130 - [screams] 66 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,830 - But sometimes, there are even problems that I can't fix. 67 00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:28,540 I've always been something of a homebody. 68 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:29,740 [device beeps] 69 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:31,910 But this is just absurd. 70 00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:35,880 This is armond of the house...Arrest. 71 00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:38,850 Kelsey, I've got a confession to make. 72 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,480 I'm guilty. - Oh, dear god. 73 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,780 - Guilty of falling 74 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,280 For one of the most beautiful women in the world. 75 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,450 - [laughing] oh, armond. 76 00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:47,420 - I didn't murder her, kelsey. 77 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,990 I need you to believe me. 78 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,990 But just in case, maybe get a white bronco. 79 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,190 [doorbell rings] 80 00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:54,760 - Armond, the cops are here. 81 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,930 Am I gonna miss shannon? 82 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,660 Hell no. That bitch was wack. 83 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:58,870 You know, rest in peace. 84 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,170 Make me a feast, ho. 85 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,240 [device beeps] 86 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,740 - Dr. Armond, this is officer long. 87 00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:05,410 I'm detective smart. 88 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,410 - You must be to rise to the rank of detective. 89 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:13,150 - This is my beautiful son roman. 90 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,250 [smack] 91 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,120 - Well, you must very proud. 92 00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:18,150 - First, I had to convince this detective 93 00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:19,590 That I hadn't murdered my wife. 94 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,320 But almost more importantly, 95 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,990 I had to make sure that my son had the breakfast he so desired. 96 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,930 - Where were you when you first discovered your wife's body? 97 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,700 - I was deciding whether to sever her... 98 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,270 - [screams] 99 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,600 - Ties to me. 100 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,170 [squeak] 101 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,740 - Do you have any access to sedatives or drugs? 102 00:04:37,770 --> 00:04:39,770 - Only enough to kill a horse. 103 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,140 [whip cracks, horse neighs] 104 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,680 - You're not intimidating me with your fancy shirt. 105 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,710 I know what you did. - Is it okay if I go? 106 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,150 - I just prepared a feast for you. 107 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:47,310 - I'm not eating that. 108 00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:49,920 I'm going to chick club with my friends. 109 00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:51,080 This looks like [bleep]. 110 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,850 - But the joke's on him. 111 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:55,790 More for me. 112 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,290 - What's wrong with you? 113 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,830 Like, your face isn't even moving. 114 00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,130 Your wife just died. 115 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,530 - What would be a more appropriate thing 116 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,930 For me to do with my face? 117 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,770 - Have it move. 118 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,940 - [howling] 119 00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,610 Since my tear ducts are now closed, 120 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,010 The only way I can cry is through my mouth. 121 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,480 [howling] 122 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:25,550 [overlapping howling] 123 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,250 - I forgot to hang up, old friend. 124 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,460 I'm sending over my lawyer zack sword. 125 00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:32,360 [sword unsheathes] - I've never lost a case. 126 00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:37,560 - Police treat me as if I'm a beautiful woman. 127 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,400 So I was driving to san francisco. 128 00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:41,840 I'm going down the hill towards grapevine. 129 00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:44,170 - Mm-hmm. - Not a thought in my head. 130 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,670 The policeman pulls me over. - Mm-hmm. 131 00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:47,010 - He says to me, 132 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,210 "are you aware that you're going 95 miles per hour?" 133 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,580 - Mm-hmm. 134 00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,050 - I said to him, "I wasn't aware that I was driving." 135 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,980 He chuckles and says, "on your way." 136 00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:58,190 - Really? - He loved it. 137 00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,950 - John, I just want you to know... 138 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:02,360 You are beautiful woman. - Thanks. 139 00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:07,590 - ♪ money, big money, big dough, big ♪ 140 00:06:07,630 --> 00:06:09,960 - Oh, my god, okay. How does that feel? 141 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,470 - How does what feel? - Me being inside of you. 142 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,970 - Don't fall in love with me, aspen. 143 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,700 - Winn? - [clears throat] 144 00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:16,770 - Winn! - [sighs] 145 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,940 - Ignore him. - O.M.G. 146 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:21,140 Aspen, can you stop [bleep] my sister for five seconds? 147 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,680 - Wen, there are, like, zero reasons 148 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:24,180 For you to have that attitude right now. 149 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,780 - Listen, winnie, we need to talk, okay? 150 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:27,410 Did you even get the email I sent you? 151 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,580 - First of all, I told you I changed my name to heath. 152 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:31,120 - Ah. - Oh, sorry. 153 00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:32,990 Heath, did you even get the email I sent you? 154 00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:34,920 - I am not going online, okay? 155 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,520 I told you I'm taking a "brark" from the "internaht." 156 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,930 - Mommy just called. 157 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,230 Grandpa goobie is basically a vegetable, okay? 158 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:43,900 He's a piece of broccolini. Like, he's about to "dar." 159 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:44,970 - Oh, my god. Okay. 160 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,400 - We need to eulogize grampy goobie, 161 00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:49,340 Or else we're gonna lose all of our money. 162 00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,570 - Well, that should be the headline, wen. 163 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:54,340 - Grampy goobie's bank account owns this house, okay? 164 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,910 We'll be homeless people if we don't get up there. 165 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,440 - Okay, I have an idea. 166 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,310 We'll take my car, we'll riff out the eulogy, 167 00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,020 We'll do a little "curcaine," 168 00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,550 Then we'll go to your grandfather's stupid funeral. 169 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,090 And then we'll just hit wine country, 170 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,120 And we'll just get sancerre to the dune. 171 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,160 - I love it, but I can't take anything with tannins 172 00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:11,320 'cause it makes my face red. 173 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,290 - Like a little asian girl? Oh, my god! 174 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,590 Now I'm about to finish. 175 00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:15,960 Wendall, move out of the way, so I can look at myself. 176 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,960 [grunts] let's do a late brunch. 177 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,170 - I'm gonna "pyurk." 178 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,970 - Brunch is ready! 179 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,600 O.M.G., consuela, you made us "warfles." 180 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,710 - Oh, my god, they're beautiful. 181 00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:26,940 Let's just instagrammy. - "turtally." 182 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,040 - But--uh-- 183 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,940 - Consuela, how's your boy doing? 184 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,010 - Still sick. The doctor doesn't know-- 185 00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:33,250 - Okay, I don't have time to talk about that right now 186 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,410 Because we're leaving. 187 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:36,350 Can you pack us for a two-day? I love you. 188 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:37,350 [horn honks] 189 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,190 - What is taking her so long? 190 00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:41,050 Suela, it's getting dark! 191 00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,920 - Suela, beep beep, chop chop. 192 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,390 - Guys, we have to make sure that we have everything we need. 193 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:47,760 - Cell phone chargers? - Yeah, like snacks. 194 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,600 - Um, I brought the gat. 195 00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:51,300 - Just one? - Mm-hmm. Sorry. 196 00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:52,700 - I think I forgot my pumpkin. 197 00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:54,970 - We need to bring things that are gonna inspire us. 198 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,540 - O.M.G.! Costumes from the original movie dick tracy. 199 00:07:57,570 --> 00:08:00,370 - Suela, bring costumes from the movie dick tracy. 200 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:01,810 - [laughing] word up. 201 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,240 - [gasps] we need to bring tampons. 202 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,850 - Yes, for butt chugs. 203 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,250 - Well, we don't need condoms 204 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,680 'cause I'm gonna put a baby in you this weekend. 205 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,050 - Aspen, I cannot be with a jewish boy 206 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,450 And ruin my bloodline. 207 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,720 My parents would rather me have a baby with my brother. 208 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,220 - Yeah. No poop in the water supply. 209 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,490 - I'm only half jewish. - Ugh! 210 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:16,790 Jews are a snooze. 211 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:19,490 - Suela, we miss you. We love you already. 212 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:22,300 - Hasta la vista, baby. 213 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,730 - Okay, the car is not starting. 214 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,970 So either we have a full-on "brarkdown," 215 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,740 Or we're out of gas, which is fundamentally the same thing. 216 00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:30,200 - Okay, let's just make a youtube 217 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,610 And sent it to santa barbie. 218 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,310 - Take advantage of the digital age. 219 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,110 - Youtube--youtubeulogy. 220 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,380 - Are you on molly right now? 221 00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:38,950 - My mo--my mouth's not "worsing" anymore. 222 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,950 - You're so high on molly right now, your heart is open. 223 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,380 Let's get you on-camera immediately. 224 00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:44,750 - Let's kill it. - I wanna touch something. 225 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,320 - Suela, unpack for us. We're staying in. 226 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,690 Change of play-plays. 227 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,160 [dubstep music] 228 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,840 - [speaking spanish] 229 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,510 - What is it? What's wrong? 230 00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:09,140 - He says he found a fossil of a fish on this prehistoric rock. 231 00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,850 - This is a sensitive site. We'll have to stop construction. 232 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,150 - [speaking spanish] 233 00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:14,450 - Well, he says there's no way to know 234 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,920 Without continuing to dig. 235 00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:18,320 - Actually, I know one man who can tell us. 236 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,920 - After losing his passport on a mission to the andes, 237 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,560 He was forced to live in obscurity. 238 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:24,260 He visited the american consulate 239 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:25,930 Numerous times to sort it out 240 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,830 But was told, according to their files, 241 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,830 He was legally dead. 242 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,060 He tried to explain 243 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,570 That there had been a geological anomaly, 244 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,970 Which had saved his life, 245 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,300 When suddenly a freak landslide tore through the consulate 246 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,770 And destroyed all the files, 247 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,870 Giving the consulate no choice but to issue emergency passports 248 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,340 On a provisional basis. 249 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,380 He now roams the world on his motorcycle 250 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:46,150 As a renegade geologist... Again. 251 00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:49,150 [blues rock music] 252 00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:55,360 ♪ 253 00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:57,560 [eagle screeching] 254 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,200 - Doctor, you made it. 255 00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:07,400 - Let me see the fossil. - Of course. 256 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,800 - This whole place used to be under water. 257 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,370 Technically, we're at a prehistoric beach. 258 00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,910 - Playa prehistorica. 259 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:15,540 - Playa prehistorica? 260 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:18,680 - A prehistoric beach. 261 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,950 Cowabunga. 262 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,320 Makeup's gonna-- come here, come in. 263 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:27,590 So I'm gonna-- say hi to the camera, trent. 264 00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,090 - Oh, jeez. - Oh, jeez. 265 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,660 - Hi. - Hi. 266 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:32,130 I wear chapstick. 267 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:37,630 My lips absorb moisture at a crazy rate. 268 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,000 Yeah? 269 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,170 Trent just told me 270 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,900 It's universal with me and porn stars. 271 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:46,610 Trent works with porn stars. 272 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,540 I'm wondering if he shares makeup brushes. 273 00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:51,850 - ♪ when I tell you I'm hungry ♪ 274 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,710 ♪ you always bring me food 275 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:57,220 ♪ and you never make me touch it when I'm not in the-- ♪ 276 00:10:57,250 --> 00:11:00,250 [electricity crackling, beep, dog barks] 277 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,160 - [groans] 278 00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:06,160 I appreciate the business. 279 00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:08,800 You know, a lotta people, uh, see me as a plumber, 280 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,630 And they don't ever hire me as handyman. 281 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,300 - Well, people see me as a murderer... 282 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,370 - [screams] 283 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,040 - And not as an animal plastic surgeon. 284 00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:18,510 [dog barks] 285 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:20,640 That's why I guess I brought my business home with me, 286 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,840 And all the medical equipment 287 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,710 Seems to be shorting out the circuits. 288 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:28,180 - Well, you should see my place. Nothing works. 289 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,480 You know, I get home, I'm exhausted. 290 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,650 - Well, if you ever wanna talk about it, 291 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,950 You know where to find me. 292 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:32,990 [device beeps] 293 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:34,020 - Yeah. 294 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,260 - But my lawyer's coming shortly, 295 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:36,460 So I'll have to scoot. 296 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,990 - Uh, do you know where the main breaker is? 297 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,130 I need to shut off the power in order to fix this. 298 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,590 - You know, it's my son roman 299 00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,200 Who's the real digital wizard in the house. 300 00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:44,600 I'm gonna go ask him. 301 00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:45,670 [device beeps] 302 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,030 [guns shooting on video game] 303 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:49,100 Dingdong, it's the good witch. 304 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:51,300 How are you, roman? 305 00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:53,110 - Eww! Eww! 306 00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:54,610 - Roman, are you having a nice afternoon? 307 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,340 - No! Leave me alone. 308 00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:59,180 - My attorney's about to show up, so you need to clean up. 309 00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:00,510 - You know you're gonna go to jail 310 00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:02,080 For, like, probably ever, right? 311 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,080 - Where's the circuit breaker? - Just leave. 312 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,120 It's by the garage, frankenweenie. 313 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:08,860 - Fyi, the power's gonna be down for a little bit, 314 00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,390 So you'll lose your internet. 315 00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:12,660 - No! I need the internet for my game, idiot! 316 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,890 [glass breaks, dog barks] 317 00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:15,300 [device beeps] 318 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:17,230 - Well, if the plastic surgery biz doesn't work out, 319 00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:20,200 Maybe I can become the handyman's assistant, chico. 320 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,400 You stay there. 321 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:26,270 It's off. - What's that? 322 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,340 - Oh, my. Chico. Don't wander. 323 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,010 [device beeps] 324 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,110 Oh, no. 325 00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:34,480 I was out of my house arrest perimeter. 326 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,020 Chico, I'm on trial for murder. 327 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,890 - [screams] 328 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,790 - My son's being difficult. 329 00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:41,960 - What's that, dad? 330 00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,590 You hid the gun where? 331 00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,660 - The handyman is depressed. 332 00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:47,390 - You should see my place. - [screams] 333 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:50,830 - I need you to meet me halfway on this one, okay? 334 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,070 [sword unsheathes] 335 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,830 - [whistles] ah, come here, little guy. 336 00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:55,240 Ahh. 337 00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:57,970 I believe this gentleman belongs to you. 338 00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,710 - Oh, either you're a knight in shining armor 339 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,180 Or my new superstar lawyer. 340 00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:03,580 - How about both? I'm zack sword. 341 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,080 [sword unsheathes] - dr. Armond. 342 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:06,350 - Three things you should know about me. 343 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:09,150 One, I've never lost a case. [swords clink] 344 00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:11,480 Two, this suit cost $10,000. 345 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,450 And three, did you kill your wife? 346 00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:15,460 I'm sorry. 347 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:16,690 I had to ask that question 348 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,260 Because a jury's gonna ask that question. 349 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:19,530 And if you could take it from me, 350 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:20,990 You could take it from them. 351 00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:23,700 - Well, mr. Sword, I've been taking it from everybody. 352 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,370 - [laughing] 353 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,800 - ♪ you'll always be my best friend ♪ 354 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,170 - Holy [bleep]. - What? 355 00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:35,210 - Your gums are really bloody. 356 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,380 - Well, I guess I like to protect all my canines. 357 00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:38,780 [dog barks] 358 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:41,710 I may have taken flossing to a slightly unhealthy level. 359 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,480 That's house arrest for you. 360 00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,020 - I just want something casual. - Okay. 361 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,960 - So...Um... 362 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,360 Hey. - I don't even care. 363 00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,330 - You don't care about this? - No. 364 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,230 You know, this is real talk. - Oh. 365 00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:58,160 - I was third runner-up for most casual at my high school. 366 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,470 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 367 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,630 - What happened to the other two kids? 368 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:02,340 - They wanted it less. 369 00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:04,670 [laughter] 370 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:09,040 - [muttering] - [snoring] 371 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,710 - Mr. Wendy. 372 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:12,680 Mr. Wendy. - [snoring] 373 00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:14,010 - Mr. Wendy! 374 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,020 - Ugh. Suela. 375 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:17,450 - I sorry to wake you, 376 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,120 But your grandfather died last night. 377 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,860 - No, grampy goobie. Winnie! 378 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:24,390 - My name is heath. - Heath. 379 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,790 Did we come up with all the words for the eulogy? 380 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,290 - I don't remember. - Oh. 381 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,530 - Don't worry, babies. 382 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,500 I took care of it, okay? It's all on my "iphern." 383 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:34,330 - [groans] - and this is embarrassing. 384 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:36,140 When you start something, finish it. 385 00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:38,200 It's like we're still in [bleep] middle school. 386 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,540 Both: Hey! - What's up? 387 00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:43,040 Welcome to grampy goobie's eulogy video. 388 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,740 - We hope that other people enjoy this 389 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,150 When they play it when you die 390 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,210 'cause we know you won't be able to see it 391 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,210 'cause you'll be in the ground. 392 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,980 [cheerful music] 393 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,520 Early life. 394 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,650 - I am grandpa goobie as a young man. 395 00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:54,920 I'm horny. 396 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,720 - Wartime. 397 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,960 - Grampy goobie is signing up for the war. 398 00:14:59,990 --> 00:15:01,390 War ii. 399 00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,500 Hitler's rolling for poland. 400 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:06,070 - Oh, no, it's dick tracy. Ahh! 401 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,230 - Oh, no. 402 00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:09,340 - Blooper reel. 403 00:15:09,370 --> 00:15:10,640 - We shouldn't be doing this on-camera. 404 00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,010 [bleep] it, let's just do it on-camera. 405 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,240 Verite. 406 00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:14,740 If grandpa goobie could be any animal in the world, 407 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,180 What animal would he be? 408 00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,280 - Um-- - pills. 409 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,780 - [laughing] 410 00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:22,520 - Rest in peace. 411 00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:23,780 [laughter] 412 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,550 - Kill bill, bro. 413 00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:28,020 [screaming] - cut my neck! 414 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,690 - I feel like--like, "houston, we have a problem," 415 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,830 And the problem is that there's not enough love. 416 00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:35,560 The lack of love is really hard for me to handle right now. 417 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,900 - A baptismal, wendall. Let's do it! 418 00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:39,800 Yeah! 419 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:40,900 - That must have been hard to do. 420 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,140 - Oh, my gosh, yeah. It was so-- 421 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,470 I'm so wet. I'm so wet. 422 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,510 - I'm so wet too. 423 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,440 - What the [bleep] is going on? 424 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,480 Grandpa goobie wouldn't want this this way. 425 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,550 - Grandpa goobie is dead! 426 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,920 - I mean, I still wanna wes anderson/david fincher 427 00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,420 The whole thing, but that's basically the idea. 428 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:02,990 - Yeah, I mean, I don't usually like myself on-camera, 429 00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,490 But this time, I was pleasantly surprised. 430 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,760 - You're my muse. - Aspen, don't. 431 00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:08,590 - It seems disrespectful. 432 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:10,060 - What seems disrespectful? 433 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,700 - Your grampy goobie just died, 434 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,830 And it looks like you're having a party. 435 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:16,170 - You were at that party, consuela. 436 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,440 Who was fighting with the dick tracy 437 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:18,810 In the background? 438 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,010 - Wait, are you trying to say 439 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,610 That this could jeopardize our "inharitance?" 440 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,510 - I don't know anything about "inherances." 441 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,650 - Yeah. No, you don't know, do you? 442 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,080 [laughing, inhales] 443 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,480 [grunts] 444 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,050 All right, here's what we need to do. 445 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,190 We need to fix the car, jettison up to santa barbie, 446 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:35,490 And come up with some eulogy that is dope 447 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,860 And fly and fresh enough for grammy goobie to cry at. 448 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:40,660 And if we don't, we lose everything. 449 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:44,260 Friends, shawn family, 450 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,030 We are gathered here today because we are people 451 00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:48,330 Who love grampy goobie. 452 00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:50,800 Grampy goobie's grampy goobie. 453 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,070 My great, great grandfather goobie 454 00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:54,510 Owned glass, 455 00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:57,110 And now I feel as though 456 00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:59,550 My heart is made from glass 457 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:03,380 Because it just shattered into a million pieces. 458 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,190 I know that if grampy goobie was here right now, 459 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:09,020 He'd say, I'd be happy if me and grammy goobie 460 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,590 Could just sit around all day 461 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:13,330 And read his favorite comic strip dick tracy. 462 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,390 [laughter] 463 00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:16,460 Though he didn't like the movie. 464 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,400 To grampy goobie. 465 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:23,040 [bubbling] 466 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:24,800 - To grampy goobie. 467 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,610 I literally have, like, nothing at stake here. 468 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,640 [dubstep music] 469 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:37,680 - Mom, how did people migrate from eurasia to the americas? 470 00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:42,890 - He was a me-- [engine revs] 471 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,560 - Doctor, you made it. 472 00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:45,730 - Yeah. [grunts] 473 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,190 - You okay? - Yeah. 474 00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:49,600 Well, that's as far as I'm gonna get. 475 00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:51,200 And that's not what the people 476 00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:53,570 Who migrated across the bering strait said. 477 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,700 - Do we know him? 478 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,100 - The world used to be one supercontinent 479 00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:58,140 Called pangaea. 480 00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:03,740 [engine revs] 481 00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:06,780 [blues rock music] 482 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:14,520 - Do you know that you are going to get killed on-camera today? 483 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,620 - Not my favorite, but-- - [laughs] 484 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,890 Say thank you. - Thank you. 485 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,060 Thank you, everybody, to all my fans 486 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,530 And the paparazzi and my publicist. 487 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,730 I love you all. 488 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,500 [whimsical music] 489 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,140 - I find the alcohol helps anesthetize my mouth. 490 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:35,140 And I found that drinking during the day 491 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,680 Agrees with me. 492 00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:38,810 [thud] 493 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,010 Oh, now it's a party. 494 00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:43,420 My forensics team. [glass shatters] 495 00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:46,490 - You seem very comfortable for a man in your situation. 496 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,990 - Well, my case is a slam dunk. 497 00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,420 [cheers] 498 00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,420 These guys are proving that what the police say I did 499 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:52,760 Is impossible. 500 00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:54,360 I'd have to have been superman. 501 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:56,430 [heroic music plays] 502 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,600 [wind blowing] 503 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,770 - Hey, is the power off? 504 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,600 - Yeah, didn't you hear me? 505 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,500 - Uh, no, no. I'm sorry, doc. 506 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:04,670 - Are you joking? 507 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,610 I was shouting it from the rooftops. 508 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,940 It's off. 509 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,310 Maybe once you get the electricity fixed, 510 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:11,780 You can get your hearing fixed. 511 00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:14,150 I'm joking. Join us for a drink, won't you? 512 00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:16,450 - Uh-- 513 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,920 - A toast. 514 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,350 To life. 515 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,120 - Not behind bars though. - Hmm. 516 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,490 And I thought I was the funny one. 517 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,730 [squeak] 518 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:26,730 [phone chimes] 519 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,200 - ♪ sudoku in the hot tub 520 00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:31,030 ♪ cappuccinos in the hood 521 00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,600 - Can you get the power back on? 522 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,370 - And now it's a mad dash apparently. 523 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,270 - Ah, that's a shannon song? - Yes. 524 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:42,410 She was one of the most beautiful women in the world. 525 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,750 And it's only matched by her voice. 526 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:46,750 - It's powerful. 527 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,150 - Mm-hmm. - ♪ oh, armond 528 00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:49,980 ♪ you're the one - I wish it would stop. 529 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,750 - Well, I can put an end to it right now. 530 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,790 [video stops] - thank you. 531 00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,290 - One thing I didn't put an end to 532 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,960 Is my wife's life. [sword unsheathes] 533 00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:58,460 I can tell you right now, 534 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:01,960 Flatly and surely, I didn't kill her, counselor. 535 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,330 - Then I am convinced. 536 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,770 I would be proud to be your attorney. 537 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,100 - Thank you, mr. Sword. 538 00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:09,900 Although I'll warn you that my forensics team 539 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:13,440 Is making me hemorrhage thousands of dollars a day. 540 00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,480 I don't think I'll be able to afford to pay you for some time. 541 00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:18,080 [spring reverberates] 542 00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:20,010 - I wish I could be your attorney, 543 00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:23,120 But unfortunately, it will not work out. 544 00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:25,220 Please tell kelsey that I said yes, 545 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:26,490 But you and I had a scheduling conflict. 546 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,650 And good luck to you. 547 00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:29,160 [sword unsheathes] 548 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,790 - Looks like you and I will be drinking alone today, chico. 549 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,260 [beeping] 550 00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:34,430 [dog barking] 551 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:36,260 - ♪ you're the one 552 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,200 - What happened in those ten seconds? 553 00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:40,930 - [screams] - the infamous ten seconds. 554 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:42,200 - Cameras were outside for ten seconds. 555 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,470 - Where were you when you first discovered 556 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:44,840 Your wife's body? - Freeze! 557 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,670 - She has no pulse. I didn't kill her, counselor. 558 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,910 - What happened in those ten seconds? 559 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,480 - You killed that angel. - Kind of. 560 00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:50,840 - What are you doing! 561 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,180 [beeping] 562 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:57,180 - [grunting] 563 00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:58,820 - ♪ oh, armond 564 00:20:58,850 --> 00:21:00,520 ♪ you're the one 565 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:07,790 - Were you engaged to stone cold steve austin? 566 00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:09,130 - Mm-hmm. 567 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,630 - Are you still with him? - No. 568 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,630 - Did you stab stone cold steve austin? 569 00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:14,170 - Absolutely not. 570 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,570 I mean, I wouldn't be here, right? 571 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,270 - Right. Did he run over your foot? 572 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,110 - No comment. I can still walk though.