1 00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:05,037 I'm c-czar. Blah, blah, blah. 2 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,573 I'm about to become a teenage dad. 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:11,543 And now six experts are gonna teach me how to be the one thing 4 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,646 That I never had in my own life--a dad. 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,117 For every papa quiz I pass, I get a dope-ass tattoo. 6 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:23,956 Welcome to this is dad academy. 7 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:27,793 Excuse me. 8 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:32,297 Oh, snap, it's a little c-czar. 9 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,236 I know. It's crazy. Can you believe it? 10 00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,339 I understand that if I want to see 11 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,874 The shorty making my baby, 12 00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:43,475 I must come correct, 13 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,110 Which I will, tiny professor. 14 00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:48,480 - Bye-bye. - Bye. I love you, c-czar. 15 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,716 So today I'm meeting my first dad expert, 16 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,751 And I'm excited but also annoyed. 17 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,987 - I'm the wallet. 18 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,656 - Why do I call you a wallet? You just a man. 19 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,992 - In the structure of this show, 20 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,927 The dad academy, I represent the wallet. 21 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,796 I'm the financial portion of the dad program, 22 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:06,598 And it's my job to get you financially sound today 23 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,267 So that you can become the good dad we know you can be. 24 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,935 We brought you to a place 25 00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,837 That you can afford on your current budget. 26 00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:13,205 - Okay. - C-czar. 27 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,473 - What? - I think the results 28 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:16,008 Are going to shock and horrify you. 29 00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,643 - For real? - Yeah. 30 00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:20,212 - Okay. - C-czar, this is it. 31 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:26,151 - Oh, snap, this place is awesome. 32 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,219 - No, this place is not awesome. 33 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,287 - That's my old crate. 34 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,289 - What? - This is my house? 35 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,291 - That's a kennel for a dog. - This is what I lived in 36 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,359 For the first two years of my life, c-czar. 37 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:37,129 I was crate-trained. 38 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,698 - He's calling me c-czar. Is that...? 39 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,134 - I'm comfortable in here. 40 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,636 - That as it may be, the house is actually this way. 41 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,472 - Oh, snap, sweet house. 42 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:49,208 Oh, snap, my very own bathroom. 43 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:50,943 Let them eat cake. 44 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,012 Okay, this is where baby c-czar will sleep. 45 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,782 Okay. Oh, snap, this is all mine? 46 00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:59,184 All right, I'm gonna sign my lease. 47 00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:02,688 - So, c-czar, how are you finding your...? 48 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:05,757 Who wrote on the wall? 49 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,759 - Uh, that was here when I got here. 50 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,995 - Okay, c-czar, now good daddies can't be fibbers. 51 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:11,063 - [vomiting] 52 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,398 [toilet flushing] 53 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:18,170 - Liz, is it swimsuit season? 54 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,605 - Mm? 55 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,306 - 'cause you just, like, ralphed. 56 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,375 I could tell that there was something wrong with liz 57 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,710 'cause we're like twins. 58 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:27,212 People mistake us for one another all the time 59 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,181 And not just on the phone. 60 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,983 - Liz, I don't want to say anything too early, 61 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,851 Because, like, I wanted to be, like, a lady about it, 62 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,820 'cause that's, like, my vibe, but, like, honestly, 63 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,456 The cat's, like, pretty much out of the bun, and, like... 64 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,025 - What? 65 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:43,328 - I'm pregnant. 66 00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,931 - Wha-- 67 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,101 That's amazing. - Thank you. 68 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,370 - I'm liz. 69 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:54,106 My body's changing, and so are my priorities. 70 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,774 - And I'm liz. 71 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:56,975 If I have to do all the work, 72 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,777 Then I'm not going to work at all. 73 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,245 I'm the bigger one. 74 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,181 - And this is temporary. 75 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,950 Our p.R. Firm is called publizity. 76 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,885 [both slurping] 77 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,921 - It's based off our names. 78 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:13,058 - You have milk voice. - Shut up, liz. 79 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,327 - I'm keeping it this time. 80 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,796 - Amazing. - Thank you. 81 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,231 - O.M.G., I'm sorry. I didn't realize 82 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,167 You could get pregnant from a guy blasting on your stomach. 83 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,735 I'm trying to think about the different guys 84 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,204 That have probably [bleep] on your stomach 85 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,272 That you would then scoop that [bleep] into your vagina, 86 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,174 Like, using a piece of paper or, like-- 87 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,710 - Well, that would be, like, an alternative list, 88 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,612 Because, like, this time, the fellow, 89 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:35,047 Like, actually, like, looked me 90 00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,783 Right into my face, and, like, when he saw my face, 91 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:40,686 That's exactly the moment that, like, he shot up his stuff, 92 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,954 Like, right inside of my thing. 93 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,790 The father of the baby is a toilet baby, c-czar, 94 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,325 And, like, I don't care who knows that, 95 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,993 Except for, like, most of the people that I know. 96 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,361 Like, I don't want them to know, 97 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,762 'cause I'm, like, horrified by it 98 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,297 And, like, very embarrassed. 99 00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:55,734 Cassandra, give me the bucket. 100 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:58,070 [breathes heavily] 101 00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,471 [spits] 102 00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:00,939 I just keep throwing up. 103 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,108 - Are you sure that's not some guy's... 104 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,844 - What? 105 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,746 Oh, the stuff? 106 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,147 Who can never be sure? 107 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,149 - ♪ extraordinary 108 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:15,420 ♪ girl 109 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,423 - My doctor says that I need to be in bed rest. 110 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,392 - Keeping a baby? Bed rest? 111 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,594 Um, I was about to lose my cool. 112 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,730 I heard, like, people die if they stop working. 113 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,964 - If that is the case, 114 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,799 I would be a ghost blinking at you 115 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:28,967 From the other dimension. 116 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,435 - Right, but you can still work from home. 117 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:31,637 You have a computer. 118 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,038 - Like, I will be at home, 119 00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:35,307 But, like, my niece denise is coming to visit me. 120 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,409 So, like, I might actually be, like, impossible to reach. 121 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:40,612 - Wait. Your niece denise is coming to visit you? 122 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,414 - Mm. - Wait. Your niece denise 123 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,683 Is coming to visit you? - Mm. 124 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:47,085 My niece denise is coming to visit me in los angeles, 125 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,122 And, like, frankly... 126 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,556 I don't... 127 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,325 Know what to do with a child. 128 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:55,527 Like, honestly, liz, maybe you can't, like, 129 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,296 Understand what I'm saying 'cause I'm speaking 130 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,630 To you from, like, within the circle of women 131 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,266 Who, like, are lucky enough to become mothers. 132 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,934 - Like, I think I could probably do a much better job 133 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,336 Of taking care of your niece denise 134 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,372 Or your own baby or this business than you ever could. 135 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,674 - Like, I'm gonna take my own advice, 136 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,008 And, like, I'm gonna, like, go to bed. 137 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,943 And that's what you're left with. 138 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,080 So I'm storming out. 139 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,383 [dramatic music] 140 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,720 ♪ 141 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:22,854 - Cassandra! 142 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:26,058 Clear the bucket. It's disgusting. 143 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,460 Coming up next... - On publizity... 144 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,663 Where's my niece denise? 145 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,098 - Yeah. May I help you? 146 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:36,001 - I'm just, um, denise. 147 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,069 [dramatic music] 148 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,371 - ♪ I'll treat you right 149 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,573 - My grandmother has seen publizity 150 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:44,876 And has said to me four or five times, 151 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,645 "you look gorgeous on the show. 152 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,613 But the other woman is a mess." 153 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,483 And then I say, "no, nana, that's my friend nick. 154 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,551 That's the man." 155 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,853 And then she says, "no, it isn't." 156 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,621 She says, "no, it isn't." 157 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:57,622 [beep] 158 00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,659 [upbeat music] 159 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,732 Both: Oh, hello. 160 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,502 [jazz music] 161 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,104 - Of course, I'm gil faizon. 162 00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:13,472 - And I'm george st. Geegland. 163 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,240 - This is our prank show, too much tuna. 164 00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,275 - This is the show where we prank our dear friends 165 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,244 By giving them too much tuna fish. 166 00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:21,313 - The new thing is prank. 167 00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,882 Both: Today's episode is... 168 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,751 - Our guest today on too much tuna 169 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:29,020 Is our dear friend from great britain, violet. 170 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,756 - Ooh, violet. She's a great beauty. 171 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:31,857 Let's talk to her. 172 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,626 Violet, what do you do with your time? 173 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,362 [keyboard music] 174 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,031 - You must have seen our ad looking for a nanny. 175 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,533 - Yes. - Flown here 176 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,068 For the job interview. 177 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:46,004 - You've got three boys, and you're looking for a nanny. 178 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:47,706 - Uh-huh. - And I'm a nanny, 179 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,574 And here I am. - Yeah, we remember. 180 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:50,909 - I know. So I just... 181 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,611 - Little did you know that you would be pranked 182 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:53,779 With too much tuna. 183 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,747 So tell us about yourself. 184 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:59,017 - Um, well, I've been working for ten years. 185 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,485 - Oh-ho-ho. 186 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,720 What is this? 187 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,555 What did you order? 188 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,390 - What has been placed in front of you? 189 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,758 - What did you do? 190 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:07,859 - Oh. - I'm sorry. 191 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,095 I don't-- 192 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,229 - You've been pranked. 193 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,798 - Look at that. - Yep. 194 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,434 - Now, wouldn't you say that that is...? 195 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,505 - So they--they're not coming, the children? 196 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,574 - Who? - The kids. 197 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,042 - What kids? 198 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,410 Oh, the fake ad. 199 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,345 No, there's no kids. - No kids. 200 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,081 - No. - There's one baby here. 201 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,583 - That guy right there. 202 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,618 - I don't even like tuna, and you made me fly 203 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:34,986 All the way over here from london. 204 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,855 - Why didn't you take the boat? - Yeah. 205 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,423 I thought you were gonna take a liner. 206 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:44,196 - So there's no job, and there's no children and-- 207 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,697 - May I ask you a question? 208 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:48,099 And I don't--I don't mean to be rude. 209 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,136 Do you have [bleep] memento disease? 210 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,206 'cause every two minutes-- "is there a job? 211 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,540 Is there kids?" 212 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,375 There's no kids. There's no job. 213 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,144 There's too much tuna. 214 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,679 You're on a prank show. 215 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,782 - Right. 216 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,551 - Would you sign a release? 217 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,087 [jazz music] 218 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,291 - Have you ever heard of those people whose sex thing 219 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,526 Is that they want to be babies? 220 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,794 - Yeah. - God. 221 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,295 - Do you know what the deal is with those people, 222 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,763 Like, who, like, they want to dress like babies? 223 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,398 Like, do they [bleep] at any point? 224 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,434 - I don't know. I think they do. 225 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:25,604 But I think it's like, "oh, you made a mess. 226 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,172 You're a bad baby." - right. 227 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,473 - And then I think when they get boners, 228 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,208 They all act like it's such a surprise-- 229 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,945 Like, look what the baby did. [laughter] 230 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,281 - ♪ I'll treat you right 231 00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,083 - So liz has abandoned us, 232 00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:40,919 So it's up to us to pick up the slack, okay? 233 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:44,489 [door closes] - um, hello? 234 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,024 - Yeah. May I help you? 235 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,792 - Um, I'm denise. 236 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,427 - Yeah, my name is liz. I'm part of publizity. 237 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,495 It's based off our names. 238 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,597 - Uh... 239 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:55,500 Do you know where my aunt elizabeth is? 240 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,869 - Okay, you guys, get the [bleep] out of here, okay? 241 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,671 Hi, sweetheart. 242 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:05,210 - Um, I'm my aunt elizabeth's niece denise. 243 00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,379 And... 244 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,915 What the heck? 245 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,182 - That's cassandra. 246 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,218 You don't have to pay attention to her, okay? 247 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,721 So you came here to see your aunt elizabeth. 248 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,124 - Exactly. My aunt elizabeth invited me to come 249 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,092 And visit her, and so I did. 250 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,562 And she sent me in a limousine from the airport. 251 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,064 I feel like I should call my parents and tell them that... 252 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,499 [breathes deeply] 253 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,734 My aunt elizabeth didn't come after the limo. 254 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,870 - Your parents talk about your aunt elizabeth? 255 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,972 - They say that she's a piece-of-trash person. 256 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,540 - You're funny. I like you. 257 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,975 - You're funny. 258 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,410 You're basically the largest woman I've ever seen. 259 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,645 - Oh, my god, thank you. - You're welcome. 260 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,681 - Maybe we should, like, go out to lunch 261 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,149 And just have, like, girl talk. 262 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,383 - Is this a trick? 263 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,586 - Look, you have this sweet, lost little girl. 264 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,188 It's, like, my mothering instincts just, like... 265 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,490 [deep voice] kick in. 266 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,493 [upbeat music] 267 00:09:55,528 --> 00:10:02,834 ♪ 268 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:05,036 And, like, now I just, like, want to eat salad. 269 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,504 It's, like, crazy. 270 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,206 It's, like, that's what I'm craving. 271 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,241 So, like, that's what I'm having for lunch. 272 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,776 - Nice shoes. I like those. 273 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,945 - Oh, you like them? - Yeah, they're great. 274 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,747 - Yeah, we got 'em on a shopping spree today. 275 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,916 - It's amazing what you can get shopping. 276 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,084 - Wait. Hold on one second. 277 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,020 Are you a photographer? - Yeah. 278 00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,856 - Well, this is denise. She's visiting. 279 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,358 - Hi. - Hey. 280 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:29,694 - Oh, my god. I just had an amazing idea. 281 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,429 There's, like, crazy artistic chemistry 282 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,031 Happening here. [camera shutter clicking] 283 00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:35,900 Would you be interested in doing a photo shoot with denise 284 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,936 So she can get, like, some head shots and stuff? 285 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,804 - What do you think? I mean, of course I want 286 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:40,905 To take pictures of her. 287 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,641 - Am I being discovered right now? 288 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,709 And if so, can you please take my picture 289 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,077 By a coconut palm tree? 290 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,913 - I can take your picture next to just about anything. 291 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,415 Let's start right now. [cell phone buzzing] 292 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,484 - Okay, you know what? I just have to take this call. 293 00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:53,551 You guys sit down and figure it out. 294 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,453 No, just do it. I got to take this. 295 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,489 - Wait, wait, wait. - Hello? No, cassandra! 296 00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,290 You're being a [bleep] idiot! - Liz! 297 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,892 Liz. 298 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,094 Oh, we're starting? [camera shutter clicks] 299 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,296 Can I see? 300 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,098 [camera shutter clicks] can I see? 301 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,767 - Oh, these are great. [camera shutter clicks] 302 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,335 - Can I see it? 303 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:13,772 [camera shutter clicks] may I please see it? 304 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,940 [camera shutter clicks] oh, that was a wink. 305 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,209 - Oh, my god, I see magazine covers here. 306 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,778 - Really? Do you know where liz went? 307 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,680 - Who's liz? 308 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:24,282 - Liz is my... [camera shutter clicks] 309 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:27,585 Liz is my... [camera shutter clicking] 310 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,488 Liz is my... 311 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,691 [camera shutter clicking] - you're my niece now. 312 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,795 - Did you like marty mcfly? 313 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,296 - I loved marty mcfly. 314 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,564 He was my hero. 315 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:41,966 And I watched back to the future again recently. 316 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,235 Marty mcfly is a 17-year-old high-school student... 317 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,570 - Mm-hmm. 318 00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:48,807 - Whose best friend is a disgraced nuclear physicist. 319 00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,575 And they never-- 320 00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:53,411 They never, ever explain how they became friends. 321 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,546 - That's-- - they don't even try. 322 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:55,880 And we all accepted it. 323 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,415 We were like, "oh, who's the best friend? 324 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,818 "a disgraced nuclear scientist? Oh, okay, proceed. 325 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,319 Oh, very good." [beep] 326 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:02,754 - Hey, excuse me. No, sorry. 327 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:03,988 Sweetheart, sweetheart, please, don't-- 328 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,223 Don't take the sandwich. - Excuse me. 329 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,058 - Excuse me. Don't take the sandwich. 330 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,194 - Excuse me. What are you doing taking private property? 331 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,831 - I thought this was, like, what I got--a tuna sandwich. 332 00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:15,300 - You don't get that. We're gang-shooting these today. 333 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,704 - No vegetable has made a bigger 180 in my lifetime 334 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,872 Than brussels sprouts, I feel like. 335 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:21,940 Have I done this already? 336 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:24,309 - ♪ I'll treat you right 337 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:33,084 - How's the portrait coming along, cassandra? 338 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:36,354 It's the key to every photo ever taken of me, 339 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,190 And this is supposed to be for my profile picture on facebook. 340 00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:43,495 Oh, well, liz decided to get out of bed for once. 341 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,430 - Has anyone seen my niece denise? 342 00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:48,533 - Oh, actually-- - cassandra, not now! 343 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:49,634 I'm busy! 344 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,770 - But-- - [groans] 345 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,705 - Stress is not good for babies, 346 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,340 But, like, luckily for the fetus, 347 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,909 I'm one of the chillest people in california. 348 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,812 I am [bleep] flipping out right now. 349 00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:03,615 I know that my niece denise got picked up from the airport 350 00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:05,683 Because my limo app keeps saying, "done-zo." 351 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:06,851 - Really, liz? 352 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,853 You send a limo to pick up your niece? 353 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,822 I would have been in that limo, because every niece 354 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,590 Deserves an aunt charming. 355 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,793 [grunting creepily] 356 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,427 I'm not always honest with you, and I'm gonna be, 357 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,662 Like, completely honest with you. 358 00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:18,963 - So shoot it into my face. 359 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,331 - Yeah, like, basically the idea 360 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,833 That you feel like you're ready 361 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,902 To bring a baby into the world, but you can't even keep track 362 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,236 Of your own niece denise... 363 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,738 - How dare you? 364 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,006 - You're at home, like, doing nothing, 365 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,407 Like, home alone, like, "aah," no. 366 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:32,076 I hope a big bucket of nails runs into your face, 367 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,178 Like, at 100 miles per hour. 368 00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:34,979 - Well, I just hope, like, a glue sheet 369 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,015 Flies in your face and you get, like, feathers. 370 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,650 - Oh, my god. 371 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,152 Honestly, I feel so much pressure right now, 372 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,555 Because it's, like, I'm taking care of the business. 373 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,056 I'm babysitting your niece denise-- 374 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:46,724 - Wait. Hold on. 375 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,093 Did you see my niece denise? 376 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,529 - [murmurs] 377 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,997 - Honestly, if you saw my niece denise 378 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,699 And you didn't even say anything to me when you knew 379 00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,034 Exactly where I was camped out 380 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,936 Not doing a single thing or a stitch of work, 381 00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:01,606 I'm, like, honestly, liz... 382 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,542 - Sorry. 383 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,710 - Cassandra! 384 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:08,112 Did you hear the apology that liz gave to me? 385 00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:11,015 Because I was not able to hear it. 386 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,383 - I'm right behind you. - [screams] 387 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,252 What is this? 388 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,455 I know this face. 389 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:20,525 I don't even know where. It's like a... 390 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,759 - It's me. 391 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,394 - Oh, my god, liz. 392 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:27,432 You look, like--and I don't use this word lightly-- 393 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,701 Amazing. 394 00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:32,203 - It's, like, a portrait, like, based off my face. 395 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,371 - And that's, like, such a spook-out, 396 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:34,739 'cause, like, honestly, our company's, 397 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,441 Like, based off our names. - Yeah. 398 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,676 Totally. It's, like, totally based off our names. 399 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,112 And it's, like, I'm sorry. 400 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,047 You're my best friend. 401 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,449 - Like, liz, you're my best friend. 402 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,918 - And I just, like, love you so much. 403 00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,254 - I love you too, liz. 404 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:50,488 - Oh, my god, cassandra. 405 00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:52,624 Why are you staring at us, you, like, pervert? 406 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,826 - Get a girlfriend. - Oh, my god. 407 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,594 [laughter] 408 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,596 - Um, but where is my niece denise? 409 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,966 - [murmuring] oh, my god. 410 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,836 - [deep voice] you're my niece now. 411 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,140 - If you have any information or tips about the whereabouts 412 00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:10,341 Of this young woman, 413 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,843 Please send a stamped envelope 414 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,812 To publizity entertainment or down to the precinct. 415 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,514 - ♪ I miss you 416 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:23,521 ♪ when you're far away 417 00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:25,890 - Ha ha. 418 00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,428 - You've been living beyond your means thus far. 419 00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,896 - What does "means" mean? 420 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,631 - If I could just finish this and we'll get through it, 421 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,033 We'll get on to the next thing. - Okay. 422 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,100 - Three, two, one. 423 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,403 C-czar, we are-- - one, two, three. 424 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,571 - Oh, [bleep]. - One, two, three. 425 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,106 C-czar, listen. Okay, go.