I can't believe
you have a pair of Bluetooth speakers
in your backyard.
I have to say, Mr. Robinson,
I'm impressed with how on point you are
with new technology.
Yeah, you're like a silver Firefox.
I got those free
when I bought a foot spa from a catalogue.
They also sent a face massager,
but Margaret ruined it
when she put it in the dishwasher.
Well, all systems go, captain.
What do you want to listen to?
I'm not gonna play any music on it.
Just this.
What is that?!
Oh, it's a frequency only vermin can hear.
That should get them off my lawn.
It's not working!
I wasn't talking about that kind of vermin.
Hold on a second, kids.
Of course, Mr. Robinson.
Meh-meh-meh-meh-meh.Hmm.
Margaret?
Yeah, sorry, didn't quite clock
what that last "meh" was about.
Meh-meh-meh-meh-meh Meh-meh-meh.
Oh, right, Moe's met my mom Mimi in Miami.
Meh-meh-meh-meh-meh. What am I doing?
Oh, just trying to get rid of
those two little meat gargoyles from next door,
Dumbbell and Garden Waterbed or whatever.
Meh-meh. - Yes, the ones I hate.
Hate.
Yeah, I roped those dopes into installing
a new defense system against themselves.
They're bigger suckers than leeches
making major life choices based on their horoscopes.
And they're so ugly.
The little red one's got a face
even two mothers couldn't love.
And the blue one is like a visual version
of drinking orange juice
right after brushing your teeth.
You know what?
A quantum microscope
couldn't find a quark of charm
in those two butt clowns.
To be honest,
that last one wasn't so bad by comparison.
Wait, who was I talking about?
Huh? Are those losers gone?
We heard every word you just said about us,
William Shade-speare!
Wait, where are you?
At the bottom of a pit of despair,
Mr. Robinson!
Hmm.
That was a metaphor.
Hmm, right.
You ruined our friendship and left us
with these horrible black clouds over our heads.
Oh.
And that one's not a metaphor, by the way.
Goodbye, Mr. Robinson.
W-Wait, where are you going?
There's a lot we need to process.
I think we need a therapist.
And a meteorologist.
Oh, fine.
Go see a get-out-of-my-face-ist, as well,
and ask for an extra prescription
of chill pills while you're there.
Hmph.
Ugh! Ugh!
Hm.
I don't see how things will ever be the same again,
short of brainwashing them.
But of course!
"How to brainwash chil--"
What did you do?
I followed the advice online.
It turns out it's illegal to alter the minds of children
using Cold War CIA techniques.
It's bureaucratic madness.
Next they'll be asking me
to pay for a fishing license or something.
Dad, you do need a fishing license.
What's this world coming to
when a simple taxpaying man like me
can't even enjoy feeding himself and his family
by throwing a little dynamite in the pond?!
Look, if you want to make peace with them,
just keep it casual and don't go too far, okay?
Just play it millennial.
You mean dye my hair rainbow colors,
dress like a fake lumberjack, feed off avocados,
and inherit a world in ruins? Oh, I guess.
But mainly I meant you just, like, poke them
or bring them more followers
or leave a little message on their wall.
Huh, sounds easy enough.
"Let's play a game"?
Poke. Poke.
Hmm? Hmm?
What the actual what are you doing?!
I just got you more followers.
- Hello. - How you doing?
- Hey. - You --
Dad, please, stop.
I know I'm not cut out for prison.
There were some real tough cookies in there,
and they didn't even give us any milk to dunk them in.
Why don't you just be nice to the kids
and give them some toys or something?
Ah, there.
They'll love my old chewing doll.
They don't make 'em like they used to.
Oh, even better!
My real space gun.
And there's still gunpowder in it.
Oh! And my little atomic energy kit.
What kind of child
wouldn't want to play with a little uranium and --
Aah!
Oh, boy.
Please don't tell me
I needed to specify children's toys.
This time I got arrested for violating
14 international peace agreements.
Look, have you tried
just expressing your feelings to them?
Feelings? You mean like hungry?
Dad, no.
Sleepy? No!
Hmm, like when you have to go to the bathroom?
Just speak to them and make an effort to be positive.
Hey, Gumball.
What?
I just wanted to say...
you got massive hips. What?!
No, no, it's a good thing.
You can be a model...
during the renaissance.
Okay, bye.
No, no, wait.
I've got other nice things to say.
Darwin, you speak English very well.
What?!
What do you think my native language is?
Uh, fish-spanic?
Wow, you managed to be offensive
to pretty much everyone on land and sea
at the same time.
No, no, no, no, no! Sorry.
I-I meant it's amazing
that you never let your disability
stop you from living a normal life. Hmph!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I'll pay you. Are you serious?!
Yeah, $5 for a "Get off my lawn,"
$10 for an insult about your appearance,
and a dime for every time I slander your father.
I meant do you seriously think
our friendship is for sale?
We want out.
What seemed sweet
has turned out to be lethally toxic,
like feeding a chocolate cake to a puppy
next to the tailpipe of a 4x4
in the middle of an oil spill
while reading it ElmoreStream comments.
I'm sorry, Mr. Robinson.
You don't love us.
You just love to hate us,
and if you can't see the difference for yourself...
...then your heart is beyond saving.
No!
Hmm?
No!
No! Aah!
What are you doing?
I'm protecting myself.
From what?
Feel-- Ugh!
Feel-- Bleagh!
Feel-- Aah!
Do you mean feelings?
Mm-hmm.
But why?
Because they're dangerous.
What are you talking about?
If you let you-know-what in,
sooner or later, you get your heart broken.
Hmm.
I think I have the solution to this problem.
Exactly.
Less expression, more suppression.
No.
We need to force feed you so much love
that you'll never fear it again.
Please tell me this doesn't involve a song.
Uh-huh.
It's time to drown your heart in love.
Literally.
♪ You're keeping your loving locked way up tight ♪
♪ But we got the key to put everything right ♪
♪ Chasing bad feelings and demons away ♪
♪ Hurts for a heartbeat, but you'll thank us one day ♪
♪ Flip your frown upside down ♪
♪ Hang loose and let the good times roll ♪
♪ We'll turn your life around ♪
♪ If you open up your chest today ♪
♪ And wave goodbye to yesterday ♪
♪ You'll never beat the feeling ♪
♪ When you feel a real feeling for the first time ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh
♪ You'll never beat the feeling ♪
♪ And this old felt heart
♪ Is feeling so brand n-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-w ♪
He stopped beating.
I think we killed him. With kindness.
We need to give him the kiss of life.
Okay, that's enough!
I admit it. I felt something.
But if you give me any more love,
I'll start spewing confetti.
Now get out of my way.
So? Wait a minute.
I-I feel different.
And how do you feel about us?
I lo--
I loathe you a little less than I did before.
That's good enough for us, Mr. Robinson!