1 00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:29,339 You know the best thing about our friends 2 00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:30,858 uploading their selfies? 3 00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:35,207 It means I can shotophot them to make them look slightly weird. 4 00:00:38,659 --> 00:00:40,661 Oh. Wait. No. Sussie looks kind of better there. 5 00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:42,283 Now, let's upload them. 6 00:00:42,318 --> 00:00:43,491 Boys! 7 00:00:43,526 --> 00:00:45,252 Get away from that computer, now! 8 00:00:45,286 --> 00:00:46,460 What is wrong with you? 9 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:48,462 I clenched so hard I tore the seat. 10 00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,809 I was reading "Responsible Parenting Magazine." 11 00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,707 "Responsible Parenting Magazine"? 12 00:00:52,742 --> 00:00:53,891 That's the magazine equivalent 13 00:00:53,915 --> 00:00:55,538 of having a "live, laugh, love" sign 14 00:00:55,572 --> 00:00:56,894 hanging over a medieval torture chamber. 15 00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:59,128 Well, there's lots of good advice in there -- 16 00:00:59,162 --> 00:01:00,922 Such as "95 ways to protect a turkey" 17 00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:02,579 and "how to baste your children." 18 00:01:02,614 --> 00:01:05,548 No, I don't know -- Wait. Ah, uhmm? 19 00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,205 And what's the scare hoax of the month? 20 00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:09,793 Someone found a bazooka in their kid's Halloween candy? 21 00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:12,279 "Rap music made my nephew eat his own face?" 22 00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:13,556 Video games played backwards 23 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:15,489 will summon the prince of darkness? 24 00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:17,560 No. It's about protecting your children 25 00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:19,389 from the dangers of the Internet. 26 00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:21,436 Okay. Fair enough. I've got nothing sarcastic to say about that. 27 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,875 Good. So, when you're online, 28 00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,361 make sure to leave the spell-checker on. 29 00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:27,535 Okay. Why? 30 00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,917 In case someone tries to hex you with a chain letter. 31 00:01:29,951 --> 00:01:31,298 What? 32 00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:32,644 What are you doing? 33 00:01:32,678 --> 00:01:34,163 Updating your antivirus. 34 00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:35,657 How on Earth is that supposed to help?! 35 00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:36,831 By the way, you've put it upside down. 36 00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:38,305 Well, it's like a vaccine. 37 00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:40,272 You expose yourself to a little of the virus 38 00:01:40,307 --> 00:01:41,515 to build up immunity. 39 00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:43,413 Now, what are you doing? 40 00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:44,794 Your keyboard's full of crumbs. 41 00:01:44,828 --> 00:01:46,451 Do you want your computer to have bugs? 42 00:01:46,485 --> 00:01:48,211 'Cause that's how you get bugs. 43 00:01:48,246 --> 00:01:49,799 - Huh? - Now, I am sorry, 44 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,250 but I'm going to have to put the parental lock on. 45 00:01:52,284 --> 00:01:53,941 Okay. Fine. 46 00:01:53,975 --> 00:01:55,632 -No. Come on. -Let me -- -Mom! 47 00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:57,772 But that's what the magazine said I should do. 48 00:01:57,807 --> 00:02:00,396 They meant parental locks on the computer. 49 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:01,811 Oh, right. 50 00:02:01,845 --> 00:02:03,847 There. - No. Look, Mom -- Ehrmm, what? 51 00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:07,265 - Where'd she go? - I'm setting up the firewall. 52 00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:08,990 No, no, no, no, no! 53 00:02:09,025 --> 00:02:11,890 Right. That should do it. Any questions? 54 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,962 Yes. Can you hear me all the way back there in 1836? 55 00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:16,688 Yep. Wait, what? 56 00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:18,103 Get back in here! 57 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,795 I think it's ourturn to inspect yourcomputer. 58 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:22,832 What? What do you mean? 59 00:02:26,422 --> 00:02:29,632 It works fine. 60 00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:35,224 Mrs. Mom! That pop up window is 20 years old! 61 00:02:35,258 --> 00:02:40,608 Thank you. 62 00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:43,439 What kind of dark magic forgettery is this? 63 00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:45,820 Oh, wait. There is one more problem with this computer. 64 00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:48,306 Sometimes, it asks me to right-click to do something, 65 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:51,240 but when I do, nothing happens. Can you fix that? 66 00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:52,448 Hmm. Show me. 67 00:02:53,863 --> 00:02:54,829 Look. 68 00:02:54,864 --> 00:02:56,314 Even when I get closer. 69 00:02:59,765 --> 00:03:01,319 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 70 00:03:01,353 --> 00:03:03,700 Uh-huh. That that little dog, he just bit the dust? 71 00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:06,496 Alas, yes. But also...? 72 00:03:06,531 --> 00:03:08,498 That it's us who need to teach her 73 00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:10,569 how to safely use a computer. 74 00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:11,915 Mm-hmm.Mm-hmm. 75 00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:18,370 Okay. Let's assess the damage, here. 76 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,796 What do you mainly use your computer for? 77 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,004 Oh, you know, same as everybody -- 78 00:03:21,028 --> 00:03:23,410 Write e-mails, check stuff, read movies. 79 00:03:23,444 --> 00:03:24,652 You mean watch movies, right? 80 00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,482 No. I read them. 81 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:31,521 Okay, just show us what you normally do. 82 00:03:37,976 --> 00:03:40,012 Agh, I can never find the "at." 83 00:03:42,946 --> 00:03:45,915 So, this is how you type an e-mail? 84 00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:47,088 What is that? 85 00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:48,262 My contact list. 86 00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:50,067 Wait -- so you keep everyone's e-mail address in there, 87 00:03:50,091 --> 00:03:51,610 and then type it into the computer? 88 00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:55,269 Yeah. Easy peasy. Then, I just press send. 89 00:03:59,618 --> 00:04:01,586 Pixi-e-mail? What is this? 90 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,070 It's my mailbox. 91 00:04:03,104 --> 00:04:05,555 I saw a Christmas promotion for it at the post office. 92 00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:07,730 And saves on stamps. 93 00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:10,664 Mrs. Mom, normal e-mails are easier. 94 00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:12,286 Oh, sweetie. I wouldn't want to put 95 00:04:12,321 --> 00:04:14,564 all the elves who live inside the computer out of work, 96 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,739 would I? - Who are you sending this to? 97 00:04:16,773 --> 00:04:19,466 Oh, Mic in maintenance. 98 00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:27,957 OMG, you're such a mom. 99 00:04:27,991 --> 00:04:29,476 Hey! Watch your tongue! 100 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:30,925 What do you think "OMG" means? 101 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,662 Well, I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess, 102 00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:34,412 I would say, "Offend My Grandmother." 103 00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,932 We need to teach you a little more Internet lingo. 104 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,038 What does "TLDR" mean? 105 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,627 Toilet... Doctor? 106 00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:45,768 Do you really think people on the Internet 107 00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,528 talk about toilet doctors so much 108 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:48,909 they have to abbreviate it? 109 00:04:48,943 --> 00:04:51,670 Very funny. You're lucky you two are my baes. 110 00:04:51,705 --> 00:04:53,085 What?! What?! 111 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,502 My baes. My babies. That's what it means, right? 112 00:04:55,536 --> 00:04:57,573 Hmmmm... 113 00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:59,954 Yes. Yes, it does. 114 00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:02,371 But I'm a bit worried about the way you talk online. 115 00:05:02,405 --> 00:05:03,717 Let me look at your posts. 116 00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:05,788 Oh, my word. 117 00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:14,969 And you answered with a photo of a sad kitten saying "R-O-F-L"? 118 00:05:15,004 --> 00:05:17,903 Yeah -- Receive Our Feelings and Love. 119 00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:20,768 Riiiiight. What else do you do? 120 00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:24,669 Sometimes, I download cooking videos. 121 00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:26,671 I just got the "I read movies" thing. 122 00:05:26,705 --> 00:05:29,915 Okay. So, what do you do at lunchtime? 123 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,814 Well, I check out stuff I'd like to buy 124 00:05:31,848 --> 00:05:33,505 but I never buy anything, though. 125 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,886 Why? 126 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,381 Because I'm scared of getting my money stolen. 127 00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:37,233 It's happened before. 128 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,786 It's good to be careful, but you see 129 00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:40,132 that little feller right there? 130 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,696 If the padlock is on, it means you're safe. 131 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,171 Oh. Okay, then. So, what do I do next? 132 00:05:44,205 --> 00:05:45,690 Just put it in the basket. 133 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:47,692 Nooooo! 134 00:05:48,175 --> 00:05:49,832 Huh. Really thought she was gonna 135 00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:51,178 chuck the computer away, there. 136 00:05:51,212 --> 00:05:52,835 Guys, please. I know I'm slow, 137 00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:54,837 but I'm not InterwebEsplorer slow. 138 00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,873 She made a browser nerd joke! 139 00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,599 She's learning! 140 00:05:58,634 --> 00:06:00,853 I guess there are two types of people in this world, Darwin -- 141 00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:02,016 Those who need everything 142 00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:03,742 spelled out for them... 143 00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:08,885 What's the second type? 144 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,922 Mom: Okay. What do I do next? 145 00:06:10,956 --> 00:06:12,199 You just have to pay. 146 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:14,408 And you promise I won't get my money stolen? 147 00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:15,823 Yeah. 148 00:06:18,136 --> 00:06:20,380 And 99 cents. 149 00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:24,729 Okay. So, now, you hold your hand out in front of it. 150 00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:26,144 - Mm-hmm. - Good. 151 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,191 Now, you slap your forehead with it until you realize. 152 00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:29,389 Realize what? 153 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:33,634 That you lost $26 and ruined the computer at the same time. 154 00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:35,084 And there it is. 155 00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:36,913 Okay. So, what else do you do? 156 00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:40,814 Well, sometimes I like to share how I feel on Elmore Plus. 157 00:06:42,712 --> 00:06:44,231 Why are you posting these? 158 00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:46,060 Because, they're funny. 159 00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:47,993 And look at all the little thumbs-up I get. 160 00:06:48,028 --> 00:06:50,030 Mom, your profile is public! 161 00:06:50,064 --> 00:06:51,904 What's wrong with that? I've got nothing to hide. 162 00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:53,171 Yeah? What about that? 163 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,829 So? I'm just sharing a photo of my birthday meal. 164 00:06:55,863 --> 00:06:57,175 That's not all you're sharing. 165 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,911 You've pretty-much gift-wrapped your identity 166 00:06:58,935 --> 00:07:00,592 for Internet fraudsters. 167 00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,947 First, it's your birthday, so they know when you were born. 168 00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:05,252 Secondly, they know your address from that birthday card. 169 00:07:05,286 --> 00:07:07,565 And finally, they know your credit card number -- 170 00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,463 Front and reverse! 171 00:07:09,498 --> 00:07:11,303 And on a separate note, you look like you have a tiny guy on your back. 172 00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:13,087 Also, please stop with the quotes 173 00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:14,675 from these little munchkin things. 174 00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:17,471 They're scientifically proven to destroy brain cells. 175 00:07:17,506 --> 00:07:18,507 Nonsense. 176 00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:21,233 Are you seriously implying that casually engaging 177 00:07:21,268 --> 00:07:22,303 with such harmless fun 178 00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:26,031 will accelerate the deterioration of my -- my -- 179 00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:30,588 Grey sack in the head that makes the thinkings come, er -- 180 00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:37,249 Nicole forget what saying, and how to do swallowing. 181 00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:39,262 Please tell me you have a strong password, at least. 182 00:07:39,286 --> 00:07:42,289 Oh, my password is very safe. Look. 183 00:07:42,323 --> 00:07:44,740 7eR3$@. 184 00:07:44,774 --> 00:07:47,674 Okay -- uppercase, numbers, unusual characters. 185 00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:48,847 That's pretty strong. Great! 186 00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:53,956 But you did just post it on your timeline. 187 00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:55,233 I think I have a solution. 188 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,511 There. This one is to close without saving. 189 00:07:57,546 --> 00:07:59,030 This one is to install malware. 190 00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:00,894 And the last one is to erase all your work. 191 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:02,112 This should streamline your output 192 00:08:02,136 --> 00:08:03,690 and make you ten times more productive 193 00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:04,898 at being self-destructive. 194 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:06,727 Oh, please. I'm not that bad. 195 00:08:06,762 --> 00:08:07,935 True. You're not that bad. 196 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:09,627 You're the worst! 197 00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:11,821 You're the reason your IT guy lost his mind and bailed. 198 00:08:15,149 --> 00:08:18,946 Well, at least I'm not as bad as the rest of the guys in this office. 199 00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:26,195 What are you doing? 200 00:08:26,229 --> 00:08:29,163 I'm correcting a spelling mistake, duh. 201 00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,996 What? I'm printing out my report. 202 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,826 Yeah, yeah, yes. I have tried a reboot. 203 00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:39,760 All right. I'll try again. 204 00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:43,281 Yeah, no. Still nothing. 205 00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:46,122 You know what's really funny about this? 206 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:48,873 Yeah! These guys are fully grown adults! 207 00:08:48,907 --> 00:08:50,978 They're in charge -- Of, like, everything! 208 00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:53,015 They drive cars. They vote. 209 00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:54,409 They're responsible for the planet. 210 00:08:56,846 --> 00:08:58,020 We're doomed. We're doomed. 211 00:08:58,054 --> 00:09:00,022 ♪ We made it through the Ice Age ♪ 212 00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,127 ♪ The Plague, and two world wars ♪ 213 00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:04,026 ♪ But now we're ' facing doom ♪ 214 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:06,787 With computers in the hands of dinosaurs ♪ 215 00:09:06,822 --> 00:09:08,271 ♪ Feel the doom impending 216 00:09:08,306 --> 00:09:12,068 ♪ 'Cause stupidity is hashtag trending ♪ 217 00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:17,142 ♪ They go online, click every link ♪ 218 00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:19,041 ♪ Like puppets of Big Brother Inc ♪ 219 00:09:19,075 --> 00:09:23,942 ♪ Surrendering their privacy to every pop-up ad they see ♪ 220 00:09:23,977 --> 00:09:25,357 ♪ Feel the doom impending 221 00:09:25,392 --> 00:09:29,327 ♪ 'Cause stupidity is hashtag trending ♪ 222 00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:34,332 ♪ Believe and post and share fake news ♪ 223 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,403 ♪ Until their brains have turned to ooze ♪ 224 00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:38,612 ♪ Befriending every fraud and bot ♪ 225 00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,718 ♪ So that their minds are sure to rot ♪ 226 00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:43,099 ♪ Y pola bears lie abot gluble warmin? ♪ 227 00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:44,929 ♪ Click on link bello, sign up now ♪ 228 00:09:44,963 --> 00:09:47,863 ♪ Mekur hairs gro. Want 2 b mor viewtiful face? ♪ 229 00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,416 ♪ Free stuffs avalaibul in place ♪ 230 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:51,625 ♪ Doctorate with no graduating ♪ 231 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,731 ♪ Singuls in Elmore, no w8ing ♪ 232 00:09:53,765 --> 00:09:55,905 ♪ Click here to stop ur crush from unfrending ♪ 233 00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,114 ♪ Currant acountvoroficatian code brakedown ♪ 234 00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:04,396 ♪ C313f4 r31e4h613129 235 00:10:04,431 --> 00:10:06,226 ♪ Feel the doom impending 236 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:10,126 ♪ 'Cause stupidity is hashtag trending ♪ 237 00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:14,924 ♪ But they're the ones that make the world turn ♪ 238 00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:20,965 ♪ And there's nothing we can do except watch it all... burn ♪ 239 00:10:20,999 --> 00:10:22,794 There's no avoiding it, Darwin. 240 00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:24,323 If we were anymore done, we'd be a Harlem shake meme. 241 00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:26,453 They cannot be trusted with computers. 242 00:10:26,487 --> 00:10:28,662 Uh, guys? It says I have to press "Enter" 243 00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:31,285 to upload my photo, but when I do, nothing happens. 244 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,323 Look. E-N-T-E-R. 245 00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:36,290 Uh, hey. It says I need to backup, 246 00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:37,464 but I've run out of space. 247 00:10:37,498 --> 00:10:39,052 It says I've got an internal error, 248 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:40,467 but I just had a heavy lunch! 249 00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:43,056 It says I need a driver, but I came by bus. 250 00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:45,714 And mine says "bus error," but I came by train. 251 00:10:45,748 --> 00:10:48,268 Yeah, I don't think you're quite ready for this. 252 00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:52,721 Huh? 253 00:10:57,518 --> 00:10:59,003 Oh! 254 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,213 Ow!