1 00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:32,801 The trial of the demon crowley, 2 00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:36,001 beginning with evidence and ending with utter obliviation, 3 00:00:36,121 --> 00:00:37,841 is in session. 4 00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:39,201 All rise. 5 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,481 Bring in the traitor! 6 00:00:54,161 --> 00:00:55,801 Hey, guys. 7 00:00:55,921 --> 00:00:57,201 Nice place you got here. 8 00:00:57,321 --> 00:00:58,761 Not for you, it won't be. 9 00:00:58,881 --> 00:01:00,377 Crowley: Could do with some house plants. 10 00:01:00,401 --> 00:01:02,241 - Maybe a coffee table. - Beelzebub: Silence! 11 00:01:02,361 --> 00:01:05,201 - The prisoner shall approach. - Crowley: Love to. 12 00:01:07,321 --> 00:01:09,881 50, four of us. 13 00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:13,201 Rubber of bridge? Barbershop quartet? 14 00:01:13,321 --> 00:01:15,041 The trial of a traitor? 15 00:01:15,161 --> 00:01:16,681 Lord beelzebub, you are...? 16 00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:18,561 I'm the judge. 17 00:01:18,681 --> 00:01:21,161 And I'm the prosecutor. 18 00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:26,481 And so dagon here is defending me? 19 00:01:26,601 --> 00:01:28,241 Dagon: Oh, I'm afraid not. 20 00:01:28,361 --> 00:01:30,377 No, I'm just here in case there's anything you've done 21 00:01:30,401 --> 00:01:32,521 that they forgot. 22 00:01:32,641 --> 00:01:34,561 But we built this place for you specially. 23 00:01:36,441 --> 00:01:37,961 It shall be your place of trial... 24 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,841 And it shall be your place of destruction. 25 00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:44,481 Guys, you shouldn't have gone to all the trouble. 26 00:01:46,281 --> 00:01:47,641 What appears to be the problem? 27 00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:04,521 ♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah... ♪ 28 00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:07,001 You wouldn't get that sort of performance from a modern car. 29 00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:09,041 Aziraphale's voice: Crowley! 30 00:02:09,161 --> 00:02:12,321 Hey, aziraphale! I see you found a ride. Nice dress. Suits you. 31 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:13,881 Ah! 32 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,881 Aziraphale's voice: Now, this young man won't let us in. 33 00:02:18,361 --> 00:02:19,401 Leave it to me. 34 00:02:21,121 --> 00:02:22,441 Army human, 35 00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:24,281 my friend and I have come a long way, and... 36 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,161 Which one of you did that? 37 00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:32,521 Ok, those kids are in big trouble. 38 00:02:32,641 --> 00:02:34,841 And so are you people. Don't move! 39 00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:46,841 ♪ Any way the wind blows... ♪ 40 00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:16,481 90 years and not a scratch, now look at you. 41 00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:21,561 Aziraphale's voice: Crowley. He's got a gun. 42 00:03:21,681 --> 00:03:23,241 He's pointing it. 43 00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:24,721 Do something! 44 00:03:24,841 --> 00:03:27,521 I am having a moment here. 45 00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:30,081 Crowley! 46 00:03:30,201 --> 00:03:31,721 I am the nice one. 47 00:03:31,841 --> 00:03:34,561 You can't expect me to do the dirty work. 48 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,881 I'm going to count to three, 49 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,601 then I'm going to use my finger. 50 00:03:38,721 --> 00:03:43,881 Ma'am, I'm giving you all five seconds to vacate this area! 51 00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:01,321 Rest in peace. 52 00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:03,921 You were a good car. 53 00:04:12,521 --> 00:04:13,641 Nice work on the soldier. 54 00:04:13,761 --> 00:04:17,841 Well... I-I do hope I haven't sent him somewhere unpleasant. 55 00:04:20,121 --> 00:04:22,641 Oh. Eh... ok. 56 00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:24,841 I need to get over the car thing. 57 00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:26,281 I'll deal with them. 58 00:04:26,401 --> 00:04:27,561 Shadwell: Never fear, laddie. 59 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,761 I've got a finger. 60 00:04:29,881 --> 00:04:32,761 You may need to brandish your weapon, sergeant shadwell. 61 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,721 We are here to lick some serious butt. 62 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,841 "Kick", aziraphale. It's "kick butt". 63 00:04:36,961 --> 00:04:38,001 For heaven's sake! 64 00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:39,841 Oh! I can't believe I just said that. 65 00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,921 Tyler: Oi, young. 66 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,761 Yes? 67 00:04:53,881 --> 00:04:55,201 Your son, Adam. 68 00:04:55,321 --> 00:04:56,801 What's he done now? 69 00:04:56,921 --> 00:05:00,801 I've just seen him and his little gang of cronies cycling to the air force base. 70 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,041 If you think that armed guards and whatnot 71 00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:05,161 will tolerate your son's tomfoolery, 72 00:05:05,281 --> 00:05:06,921 - I, for one, do not. - Adam wouldn't... 73 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:09,121 You saw what he did to my begonias. 74 00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:13,281 Don't blame me if your son starts world war III. 75 00:06:59,441 --> 00:07:00,617 Pulsifer: Where exactly are we going? 76 00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:01,641 Ssh! 77 00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:12,321 Voice of god: [N a handful of moments, the missiles will fly, 78 00:07:12,441 --> 00:07:14,721 the forces of hea ven and hell will attack, 79 00:07:14,841 --> 00:07:18,481 and everything depends on one small boy. 80 00:07:18,601 --> 00:07:22,401 Silence holds the bubble of the world in its grip. 81 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,881 Those people, do you think they were terrorists? 82 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,761 Anath ema: In a very nice and accurate way... 83 00:07:38,841 --> 00:07:40,681 Yes. 84 00:07:40,801 --> 00:07:42,257 I mean, you should have seen their auras. 85 00:07:42,281 --> 00:07:44,001 Was there a problem with them? 86 00:07:44,121 --> 00:07:47,961 Negative. Like black holes. 87 00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:50,001 I don't think they're entirely human. 88 00:07:52,361 --> 00:07:56,041 If only we knew what they were saying. 89 00:07:56,161 --> 00:07:57,817 Indian a c (en t: We no longer have control 90 00:07:57,841 --> 00:08:00,321 of the a (me-6 nuclear launch protocols! 91 00:08:00,441 --> 00:08:01,497 .I' think we've been hacked! 92 00:08:01,521 --> 00:08:04,001 Nuclear strike orders implemented... against Belgium. 93 00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:07,201 Are you sure this is a good idea? 94 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:11,417 Australian accent: Look, we 're trying to turn off the controls, 95 00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,177 but there's some kind of satellite override in place! 96 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,921 Are you sure this is a good idea? 97 00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:18,401 They're saying it's the end of the world. 98 00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:20,241 Yes, I got that. 99 00:08:21,361 --> 00:08:22,881 It has begun. 100 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,961 I didn't ask for it to begin. 101 00:08:25,081 --> 00:08:29,081 Death: Your very existence demands the ending of the world. 102 00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:37,241 You could finish this for them with one thought. 103 00:08:37,361 --> 00:08:39,561 You can make the world anew. 104 00:08:39,681 --> 00:08:41,601 That's him. The curly one. 105 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,881 Shoot him. Save the world. 106 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,601 You are part of us, not them. 107 00:08:45,721 --> 00:08:47,681 No-one will disobey you. 108 00:08:47,801 --> 00:08:49,441 What? He's just a wee bairn. You cannae... 109 00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,017 Aziraphale's voice: Oh, for heaven's sake. 110 00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:53,161 - Oh, no! - Give me that. 111 00:08:56,081 --> 00:08:58,201 Death: Ignore this nonsense. 112 00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:01,201 A word from you, and I will end their lives. 113 00:09:01,321 --> 00:09:03,801 Tracy's voice: You can't just shoot children! 114 00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:05,137 Aziraphale's voice: Perhaps we should wait. 115 00:09:05,161 --> 00:09:06,881 What, till he grows up? 116 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:09,401 Shoot him, aziraphale! 117 00:09:18,201 --> 00:09:19,761 Tracy's voice: I'm sorry. 118 00:09:19,881 --> 00:09:22,481 I couldn't let you do it. 119 00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:25,121 Excuse me, why are you two people? 120 00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:27,041 Aziraphale's voice: Ah. Um, long story. 121 00:09:27,161 --> 00:09:30,241 - You see, I was in my bookshop... - Adam: It's not right. 122 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,257 You should go back to being two separate people again. 123 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,921 - Bleugh! - Ah! 124 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,201 Oh! Made me go all tingly. 125 00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:54,161 But we have to be able to do something. 126 00:09:54,281 --> 00:09:55,441 We're not in a movie. 127 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,481 There's no handy little red wire to cut to stop the countdown. 128 00:09:58,601 --> 00:10:00,681 Hmm. Agnes, do you have better ideas? 129 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,721 You're not going to be able to shut down 21st-century technology 130 00:10:03,841 --> 00:10:06,641 with some random 17th-century prediction. 131 00:10:06,761 --> 00:10:08,681 "He is not what he says he is." 132 00:10:08,801 --> 00:10:11,881 Agnes, you're not even trying. 133 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,361 Recorded voice: Weapons activation in two minutes. 134 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,041 What does that even mean? 135 00:10:18,161 --> 00:10:19,721 I don't know. 136 00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:20,841 Tell me. 137 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:21,961 I think it's about me. 138 00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:23,801 Hmm. 139 00:10:24,881 --> 00:10:27,841 I am not technically... 140 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,961 A computer engineer. 141 00:10:31,081 --> 00:10:32,721 I'd like to be. 142 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,521 But I'm actuallyjust... 143 00:10:34,641 --> 00:10:36,001 - Just? - Just... 144 00:10:36,121 --> 00:10:38,161 - Just? Just what? - Just the opposite. 145 00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:39,297 I'm rubbish with computers. 146 00:10:39,321 --> 00:10:41,681 Every time I try to make them work, they break. 147 00:10:41,801 --> 00:10:43,681 I'm sorry. 148 00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:45,721 We're doomed. 149 00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:49,281 Voice of god: [T was time to decide who your friends were, and Adam had. 150 00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,401 So, the antichrist three human children 151 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,561 and a former hell-hound faced death 152 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:57,641 and three monsters who came from the minds of humanity. 153 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:02,001 The thing is, they're not actually real. 154 00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:04,161 They're just like nightmares, really. 155 00:11:04,281 --> 00:11:06,041 Little boys with your toys. 156 00:11:06,161 --> 00:11:08,921 - I'm not a boy. - I am war. 157 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:12,561 You were made to serve me, 158 00:11:12,681 --> 00:11:15,041 to live in me and die in me. 159 00:11:15,161 --> 00:11:17,961 My mum says that war is just masculine imperialism 160 00:11:18,081 --> 00:11:20,361 executed on a global stage. 161 00:11:20,481 --> 00:11:23,881 A little girl. 162 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,801 Run home and play with your dollies, little girl. 163 00:11:28,761 --> 00:11:32,681 I do not endorse everyday sexism. 164 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,481 Ow! Oh! 165 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:41,721 We're Adam's real friends. 166 00:11:41,841 --> 00:11:44,441 Not you lot. You're a joke. 167 00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:47,961 Just say what you believe, pepper. 168 00:11:52,281 --> 00:11:55,401 I believe in peace, bitch. 169 00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,201 Drop it, pepper. Quick! 170 00:12:07,201 --> 00:12:09,121 I believe in a clean world. 171 00:12:17,161 --> 00:12:20,761 And I believe in food and a healthy lunch. 172 00:12:20,881 --> 00:12:24,401 Actually, it's a very good thing. 173 00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,001 Didn't that used to be yoursword? 174 00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,641 I do believe it was. 175 00:12:51,721 --> 00:12:53,561 Any moment now. 176 00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:56,641 Encourage the troops, dagon. 177 00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:59,801 Right. Listen up. 178 00:12:59,921 --> 00:13:02,841 Any moment now, we'll be leaving hell 179 00:13:02,961 --> 00:13:06,401 and we'll be going up against the army of angels. 180 00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:09,321 Now, all of you were angels once, 181 00:13:09,441 --> 00:13:12,761 and we fought in the glorious revolution. 182 00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:15,201 And we lost. But that was then. 183 00:13:15,321 --> 00:13:17,841 We have had thousands of years 184 00:13:17,961 --> 00:13:19,601 - to get tougher. - All: Tougher! 185 00:13:19,721 --> 00:13:21,681 - Smarter. - All: Smarter! 186 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,721 And more dangerous. 187 00:13:23,841 --> 00:13:25,681 I want you to repeat after me. 188 00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:27,241 - Tougher. - All: Tougher! 189 00:13:27,361 --> 00:13:28,961 - Smarter. - All: Smarter! 190 00:13:29,081 --> 00:13:30,361 - And... - Something's happening. 191 00:13:34,201 --> 00:13:35,801 Something's wrong. 192 00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,417 - We're idiots. - Recorded voice: 30 seconds... 193 00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:40,641 Look, repair it. 194 00:13:40,761 --> 00:13:42,641 What? 195 00:13:42,761 --> 00:13:45,041 Get this computer room working better, right now. 196 00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:47,721 You said every computer you try and fix dies, so... 197 00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:49,921 Fix it. 198 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:52,001 And speed up nuclear armageddon? 199 00:13:52,121 --> 00:13:55,681 - Could you? Speed it up? - Yeah. 200 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:59,641 Easy. I mean, if I actually wanted to improve this computer's performance, 201 00:13:59,761 --> 00:14:02,321 all I'd do is open it up and then click on the disk defragmenter. 202 00:14:04,961 --> 00:14:06,481 Voice of god: All over the world, 203 00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:08,281 people who had been wrestling with switches 204 00:14:08,321 --> 00:14:09,481 found that they had switched. 205 00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:11,041 Circuit breakers opened. 206 00:14:11,161 --> 00:14:13,361 Computers stopped planning world war 207 00:14:13,481 --> 00:14:16,041 And went back to idly scanning the stratosphere. 208 00:14:17,241 --> 00:14:19,441 Death, this all has to stop now. 209 00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:22,281 It has stopped. But they will be back. 210 00:14:22,401 --> 00:14:24,201 We are never far away. 211 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,601 I am creation's shadow. 212 00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:28,561 You cannot destroy me, 213 00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,601 that would destroy the world. 214 00:14:30,721 --> 00:14:33,401 Good day, gentlemen. 215 00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:34,721 Cheek! 216 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,121 Cheek. 217 00:14:37,361 --> 00:14:41,281 Voice of god: Death opened wings of night. 218 00:14:41,401 --> 00:14:44,961 Wings that were shapes cut through the matter of creation 219 00:14:45,081 --> 00:14:47,081 into the darkness beneath, 220 00:14:47,201 --> 00:14:50,641 and in which distant lights glimmerea'. 221 00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:52,761 Lights that may have been stars, 222 00:14:52,881 --> 00:14:55,361 or may have been something entirely else. 223 00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:58,841 Aziraphale: There. You see, crowley? 224 00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:01,401 - It's like I've always said... - Oh, it isn't over. 225 00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:02,721 Nothing's over. 226 00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:06,121 Both heaven and hell still want their war. 227 00:15:07,201 --> 00:15:08,201 You. Boy. 228 00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:10,641 Antichrist, what was your name again? 229 00:15:10,761 --> 00:15:11,881 Adam young. 230 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,817 So, your friends got together and saved the world. 231 00:15:13,841 --> 00:15:16,921 Well done. Have a gold star. Won't make any difference. 232 00:15:18,441 --> 00:15:21,201 You're the man in the car. You stole my book. 233 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,161 Oh, book girl. Catch. 234 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,161 What is going on out here? 235 00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:40,401 Long story. No time. 236 00:15:40,521 --> 00:15:42,401 - Well, try me. - Aziraphale: Uh... 237 00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,561 Ok, so, uh... 238 00:15:45,681 --> 00:15:48,161 In the beginning, in the garden, there was... 239 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:52,401 Well, he was a wily old serpent, 240 00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:55,961 and I was technically on apple-tree duty. 241 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,761 Ssh, ssh, ssh... 242 00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:02,961 Hey, Adam... hi, pepper... hi, you two. 243 00:16:03,081 --> 00:16:04,081 Adam: Hello, anathema. 244 00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:05,937 You just stopped them blowing up the world, didn't you? 245 00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:07,161 I guess. 246 00:16:07,281 --> 00:16:09,161 My boyfriend here did the tricky bit. 247 00:16:12,361 --> 00:16:13,361 "Boyfriend"? 248 00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:16,641 Another deluded victim of the patriarchy. 249 00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,081 Ugh. 250 00:16:42,841 --> 00:16:44,401 Lord beelzebub. 251 00:16:44,521 --> 00:16:45,601 What an honour. 252 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:47,001 Crowley, the traitor. 253 00:16:47,121 --> 00:16:48,161 That's not a nice word. 254 00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:50,177 Beelzebub: All the other words I have for you are worse. 255 00:16:50,201 --> 00:16:51,761 Where's the boy? 256 00:16:53,881 --> 00:16:55,241 That one. 257 00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:58,601 Adam young. 258 00:17:00,441 --> 00:17:02,401 Young man... 259 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:06,041 Armageddon must... restart. 260 00:17:06,161 --> 00:17:07,881 Right now. 261 00:17:09,081 --> 00:17:10,641 A temporary inconvenience 262 00:17:10,761 --> 00:17:14,641 cannot get in the way of the greater good. 263 00:17:14,761 --> 00:17:17,137 As to what it stands in the way of, that has yet to be decided. 264 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,521 But the battle must be decided now, boy. 265 00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:20,801 That is... 266 00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:22,921 Your destiny. It is written. 267 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:26,601 Now start the war. 268 00:17:26,721 --> 00:17:30,881 You both want to end the world just to see whose gang is best? 269 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,201 Gabriel: Obviously. 270 00:17:32,321 --> 00:17:34,001 It's the great plan. 271 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,681 It's the entire reason for the creation of the earth. 272 00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:39,241 I've got this. Adam... 273 00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:41,001 When all this is over, 274 00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:43,041 you're going to get to rule the world. 275 00:17:43,161 --> 00:17:46,121 Don't you want to rule the world? 276 00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:49,241 It's hard enough having to think of things for pepper and wensley 277 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,921 and Brian to do all the time so they don't get bored. 278 00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:53,721 I've got all the world I want. 279 00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:55,961 Well, you can't just refuse to be who you are. 280 00:17:56,081 --> 00:18:01,281 Your birth, your destiny, they're part of the great plan. 281 00:18:01,401 --> 00:18:03,001 Um... 282 00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:07,161 Excuse me. You keep talking about the great plan... 283 00:18:07,281 --> 00:18:09,481 Aziraphale, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. 284 00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:11,161 Aziraphale: One thing I'm not clear on. 285 00:18:11,201 --> 00:18:13,001 Is that the ineffable plan? 286 00:18:13,121 --> 00:18:15,081 The great plan! It is written. 287 00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:17,961 There shall be a world, and it shall last for 6,000 years 288 00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:19,561 and end in fire and flame. 289 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,561 Yes, yes, that sounds like the great plan. 290 00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:26,521 Just wondering, is that the ineffable plan, as well? 291 00:18:30,481 --> 00:18:31,641 Well, they're the same thing. 292 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:33,521 You don't know. 293 00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:37,121 Uh... well, it'd be a pity if you'd thought you were doing 294 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,321 what the great plan said, 295 00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:42,401 but you were actually going directly against god's ineffable plan. 296 00:18:43,561 --> 00:18:45,721 I mean, everyone knows the great plan, yeah? 297 00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:47,361 But the ineffable plan... 298 00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:50,281 Is... well, it's ineffable, isn't it? 299 00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:52,441 By definition, we can't know it. 300 00:18:52,561 --> 00:18:53,561 But it is... 301 00:18:53,641 --> 00:18:55,481 Written. 302 00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:58,201 God does not play games with the universe. 303 00:18:58,321 --> 00:19:00,041 Where have you been? 304 00:19:00,161 --> 00:19:01,361 Can I just...? 305 00:19:01,481 --> 00:19:03,401 Gabriel: Um... 306 00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:08,481 I'm going to need to talk to, um, head office. 307 00:19:10,201 --> 00:19:14,801 How I am supposed to get 10 million angels to stand down 308 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,881 from their war footing is... 309 00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,801 It doesn't bear thinking about. 310 00:19:18,921 --> 00:19:20,481 You should try to get 10 million demons 311 00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:22,601 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 312 00:19:23,921 --> 00:19:26,881 Well, at least we know whose fault it is! 313 00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:30,441 Young man... 314 00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:34,801 You were put on this earth for one reason and one reason only - 315 00:19:34,921 --> 00:19:35,921 to end it. 316 00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:38,001 You're a disobedient little brat. 317 00:19:38,121 --> 00:19:39,961 And I hope someone tells your father. 318 00:19:40,081 --> 00:19:41,201 Oh, they will. 319 00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:46,881 And your father will not be pleased. 320 00:19:52,281 --> 00:19:54,361 Weren't they odd? 321 00:19:54,481 --> 00:19:56,481 No! No! 322 00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:58,761 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 323 00:19:59,841 --> 00:20:01,881 What's happening? I can feel something. 324 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,401 Crowley: They did it. 325 00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:04,841 They told his father. 326 00:20:04,961 --> 00:20:06,521 Oh, no. 327 00:20:06,641 --> 00:20:09,921 And his satanic father is not happy. 328 00:20:11,361 --> 00:20:12,577 Pulsifer: Perhaps it's a volcano. 329 00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:15,081 No, there aren't any volcanoes in england. 330 00:20:15,201 --> 00:20:17,881 It's really angry, whatever it is. I can feel it. 331 00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:20,401 It's getting closer. 332 00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:25,761 - What's happening? - Well, you can call me an old silly, 333 00:20:25,881 --> 00:20:28,761 but it looks like the devil is coming, Satan himself. 334 00:20:28,881 --> 00:20:30,721 - Oh. - Oh, that's the way it is, is it? 335 00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:34,201 Anyone wants to hurt the whore of Babylon is going to have to get past me. 336 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:37,081 Lovingly: Oh, mr shadwell! 337 00:20:41,481 --> 00:20:44,281 Right. That was that. 338 00:20:44,401 --> 00:20:46,001 It was nice knowing you. 339 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:47,441 We can't give up now. 340 00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,361 Crowley: This is Satan himself. 341 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,521 It isn't about armageddon. This is personal. 342 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,201 We are fucked! 343 00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:01,001 Come up with something or... 344 00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:05,441 Or I'll never talk to you again. 345 00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:28,961 Adam, listen, 346 00:21:29,081 --> 00:21:31,321 your father is coming to destroy you. 347 00:21:31,441 --> 00:21:33,081 Probably to destroy all of us. 348 00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:35,441 My dad? He wouldn't hurt anybody. 349 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:38,801 Not your earthly father. Satan. Your father who is no longer in heaven. 350 00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:40,841 He is coming, and he is angry. 351 00:21:40,961 --> 00:21:42,801 So, what do you want me to do about it? 352 00:21:42,921 --> 00:21:44,681 Fight him? 353 00:21:44,801 --> 00:21:48,281 I don't think fighting him would do any good. 354 00:21:48,401 --> 00:21:50,841 You're going to have to come up with something else. 355 00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:52,561 But I'm just a kid. 356 00:21:53,881 --> 00:21:56,201 But that's not a bad thing to be, Adam. 357 00:21:56,321 --> 00:22:00,321 You know, I was scared that you'd be hell incarnate. 358 00:22:00,441 --> 00:22:02,761 I hoped you'd be heaven incarnate. 359 00:22:02,881 --> 00:22:05,001 But you're not either of those things. 360 00:22:05,121 --> 00:22:06,881 You're much better. 361 00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:09,441 You're human incarnate. 362 00:22:12,521 --> 00:22:15,001 Adam, reality will listen to you right now. 363 00:22:15,121 --> 00:22:16,401 You can change things. 364 00:22:16,521 --> 00:22:19,761 And whatever happens, for good or for evil... 365 00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:22,961 We're beside you. 366 00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:24,841 Crowley: I'm going to start time. 367 00:22:24,961 --> 00:22:28,321 You won't have long to do whatever you're going to do. 368 00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:35,081 Do it quickly! 369 00:22:48,841 --> 00:22:51,881 Both: Oh! 370 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,081 Where is my son? 371 00:22:58,201 --> 00:22:59,241 You? 372 00:22:59,361 --> 00:23:03,521 You're my rebellious son? Come here. 373 00:23:07,921 --> 00:23:09,721 You're not my dad. 374 00:23:09,841 --> 00:23:11,961 Dads don't wait until you're 11 to say hello, 375 00:23:12,081 --> 00:23:13,521 and then turn up to tell you off. 376 00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,001 What? 377 00:23:15,121 --> 00:23:16,561 If I'm in trouble with my dad... 378 00:23:18,721 --> 00:23:20,721 Then it won't be you. 379 00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:22,761 It's going to be the dad who was there. 380 00:23:22,881 --> 00:23:25,961 You're not my dad! 381 00:23:26,081 --> 00:23:28,121 What did you say? 382 00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:30,441 - You can do it. - Say it, Adam. 383 00:23:30,561 --> 00:23:33,121 - Crowley: Say it again! - Come here. 384 00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:35,401 You're not my dad. 385 00:23:35,521 --> 00:23:36,801 You never were. 386 00:23:40,281 --> 00:23:44,361 No, no, no, no, no, no... 387 00:23:44,481 --> 00:23:47,001 No! 388 00:24:02,361 --> 00:24:04,241 Adam? Adam? 389 00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,361 That's not really his father. 390 00:24:06,481 --> 00:24:08,921 - Oh, for heaven's sake. Where is he? - Crowley: It is. 391 00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:10,441 It is now. 392 00:24:10,561 --> 00:24:12,041 And it always was. 393 00:24:13,601 --> 00:24:15,081 He did it. 394 00:24:15,201 --> 00:24:16,441 Arthur: Adam! 395 00:24:20,681 --> 00:24:25,561 Would anyone here care to explain to me what exactlyis going on? 396 00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:35,161 Aziraphale: It's all worked out for the best, though. 397 00:24:35,281 --> 00:24:38,881 Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent. 398 00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:41,681 Point taken. 399 00:24:42,761 --> 00:24:43,881 What's that? 400 00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:47,921 It fell out of Agnes nutter's book. 401 00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:51,481 Crowley: "For soon enouff you will be playing with fyre." 402 00:24:51,601 --> 00:24:53,881 So this is the final one of Agnes' prophecies? 403 00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:55,641 As far as I know. 404 00:24:55,761 --> 00:24:57,121 Hmm. And Adam? 405 00:24:57,241 --> 00:24:58,481 Human again? 406 00:24:58,601 --> 00:25:01,401 As far as I can tell, yes. 407 00:25:06,121 --> 00:25:07,601 Angel" 408 00:25:07,721 --> 00:25:10,561 what if the almighty planned it like this all along? 409 00:25:10,681 --> 00:25:12,921 From the very beginning? 410 00:25:14,001 --> 00:25:15,641 Could have. 411 00:25:15,761 --> 00:25:17,241 I wouldn't put it past her. 412 00:25:20,361 --> 00:25:22,361 International express man: You, uh, got the, um...? 413 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:25,481 Didn't want them falling into the wrong hands. 414 00:25:27,041 --> 00:25:29,521 International express man: Oh, excuse me, gents. There's, uh... 415 00:25:30,161 --> 00:25:31,601 There's meant to be a sword in here. 416 00:25:34,441 --> 00:25:36,241 Oh. 417 00:25:37,481 --> 00:25:39,121 Yeah. 418 00:25:39,241 --> 00:25:41,137 Sitting on it. 419 00:25:41,161 --> 00:25:43,441 Good thing you were here, really. 420 00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:46,121 How nice to have someone who recognises our part 421 00:25:46,241 --> 00:25:49,041 - in saving the... - I need someone to sign for it. 422 00:25:49,161 --> 00:25:50,401 Oh, fight 423 00:25:54,321 --> 00:25:56,337 international express man: Do you believe in life after death? 424 00:25:56,361 --> 00:25:58,121 I suppose I must do. 425 00:25:58,241 --> 00:25:59,521 Yeah. 426 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:03,121 See, if I was to tell my wife what happened to me today, 427 00:26:03,241 --> 00:26:05,041 she wouldn't believe me. 428 00:26:05,161 --> 00:26:06,761 And I wouldn't blame her. 429 00:26:12,801 --> 00:26:16,001 Oh. There it is. 430 00:26:16,121 --> 00:26:19,161 It says Oxford on the front. 431 00:26:19,281 --> 00:26:21,521 Yeah, but he'll drive to London anyway. 432 00:26:21,641 --> 00:26:23,281 He just won't know why. 433 00:26:24,561 --> 00:26:27,521 I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop. 434 00:26:30,281 --> 00:26:32,521 It burned down, remember? 435 00:26:37,201 --> 00:26:40,081 You can stay at my place, if you like. 436 00:26:45,281 --> 00:26:47,361 I don't... I don't think my side would like that. 437 00:26:48,761 --> 00:26:50,881 You don't have a side any more. 438 00:26:52,561 --> 00:26:54,481 Neither of us do. 439 00:26:56,641 --> 00:26:58,801 We're on our own side. 440 00:26:58,921 --> 00:27:00,121 Like Agnes said, 441 00:27:00,241 --> 00:27:02,881 we are going to have to choose our faces wisely. 442 00:27:13,441 --> 00:27:15,441 Voice of god: Adam had rebooted reality. 443 00:27:15,561 --> 00:27:19,081 He had changed the past and changed the present. 444 00:27:19,201 --> 00:27:22,881 So on Sunday, people woke to find a world that was almost 445 00:27:23,001 --> 00:27:26,681 but not entirely, the one that they used to inhabit. 446 00:27:26,801 --> 00:27:29,121 Although, people who were dead were now alive. 447 00:27:29,241 --> 00:27:33,041 And things that were broken had now been miraculously restorea'. 448 00:27:38,081 --> 00:27:39,961 Those are new. 449 00:28:21,881 --> 00:28:23,401 Mum, I've tidied it. 450 00:28:24,921 --> 00:28:26,681 Oh! 451 00:28:26,801 --> 00:28:29,641 Well, was that so hard? I can see the carpet. 452 00:28:29,761 --> 00:28:32,001 Now you just have to keep it clean. 453 00:28:32,121 --> 00:28:34,441 Can dog and me go outside? 454 00:28:36,401 --> 00:28:38,961 You know what your father said. 455 00:28:39,081 --> 00:28:42,961 He said that even if he didn't know why I was in trouble, I would. 456 00:28:43,081 --> 00:28:44,761 And? 457 00:28:46,361 --> 00:28:47,721 Was he right? 458 00:28:54,481 --> 00:28:57,121 Can you explain it to me? 459 00:29:04,641 --> 00:29:08,601 Well, you can go into the garden, 460 00:29:08,721 --> 00:29:11,601 give dog a little exercise, but that is all. 461 00:29:11,721 --> 00:29:13,121 Thanks, mum. 462 00:29:13,241 --> 00:29:15,601 Come on, dog. 463 00:29:39,601 --> 00:29:40,801 Good morning. 464 00:29:45,841 --> 00:29:47,841 Oh, I'm gonna regret asking this... 465 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:50,161 But I'm gonna ask. 466 00:29:53,001 --> 00:29:55,321 Why is your car called dick turpin? 467 00:29:57,201 --> 00:29:59,641 Um, well... 468 00:29:59,761 --> 00:30:01,921 Dick turpin's a famous highwayman. 469 00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:03,921 - Mm-hm. - It's a sort ofjoke. 470 00:30:04,041 --> 00:30:05,081 Yeah? 471 00:30:07,081 --> 00:30:10,481 Well, it's called dick turpin 472 00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:12,201 because everywhere it goes, 473 00:30:12,321 --> 00:30:13,921 it holds up traffic. 474 00:30:16,881 --> 00:30:20,921 Oh, I regret asking. 475 00:30:23,401 --> 00:30:24,561 Hey... 476 00:30:25,841 --> 00:30:28,841 Witchfinder private not-a-computer-engineer... 477 00:30:30,881 --> 00:30:33,201 Did we save the world yesterday? 478 00:30:36,361 --> 00:30:37,801 I don't know. 479 00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:39,361 Hmm. 480 00:30:41,281 --> 00:30:45,401 You're a pretty good witchfinder, though. I mean, you found me. 481 00:31:25,521 --> 00:31:28,321 Man: As far as the British government is concerned, 482 00:31:28,441 --> 00:31:32,441 the apparent appearance of the legendary monster, the kraken, 483 00:31:32,561 --> 00:31:35,361 was a mass hallucination. 484 00:31:35,481 --> 00:31:37,801 Russian accent: There were a number of mass hallucinations. 485 00:31:37,921 --> 00:31:39,881 In our country, too. 486 00:31:40,001 --> 00:31:43,921 Yes, only this one ate our trade delegation. 487 00:31:44,041 --> 00:31:48,041 A strawberry lolly and a vanilla with a flake, please. 488 00:31:49,801 --> 00:31:51,201 How's the car? 489 00:31:51,321 --> 00:31:53,281 Not a scratch on it. 490 00:31:53,401 --> 00:31:55,241 How's the bookshop? 491 00:31:55,361 --> 00:31:56,641 Not a smudge. 492 00:31:56,761 --> 00:31:58,881 Not a book burned. 493 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:01,241 Everything back just the way it was. 494 00:32:03,241 --> 00:32:05,001 You heard from your people yet? 495 00:32:07,241 --> 00:32:09,601 - Yours? - Nothing. 496 00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:14,681 Do you understand what happened yesterday? 497 00:32:15,761 --> 00:32:17,361 Well, I understand some of it. 498 00:32:18,481 --> 00:32:20,161 But some of it... 499 00:32:20,281 --> 00:32:22,641 Well, it's just a little bit too... 500 00:32:22,761 --> 00:32:25,281 Death: Ineffable. 501 00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:28,921 Oh, that... that's funny, seeing him here. That's meant to be bad luck. 502 00:32:30,961 --> 00:32:33,401 That's meant to be bad... 503 00:32:37,761 --> 00:32:39,921 Renegade angels all tied up with strings. 504 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,921 These are a few of our favourite things. 505 00:32:43,041 --> 00:32:44,961 - Stop! Stop them! 506 00:32:45,081 --> 00:32:46,961 What's wrong, love? 507 00:32:47,081 --> 00:32:49,281 Ooh, bad luck, dear. 508 00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:59,361 It's not a problem. It's tickety-boo. 509 00:33:02,441 --> 00:33:03,921 Gabriel: Ah! 510 00:33:04,041 --> 00:33:06,201 Aziraphale. 511 00:33:06,321 --> 00:33:08,641 So glad you could join us. 512 00:33:08,761 --> 00:33:10,681 You could have just sent a message. 513 00:33:10,801 --> 00:33:13,961 I mean, a kidnapping in broad daylight... 514 00:33:14,081 --> 00:33:16,601 Call it what it was - an extraordinary rendition. 515 00:33:16,721 --> 00:33:19,001 Now, have we heard from our new associate? 516 00:33:19,121 --> 00:33:20,921 Uriel: He's on his way. 517 00:33:21,041 --> 00:33:22,201 He's on his way. 518 00:33:22,321 --> 00:33:24,921 I think you're going to like this. 519 00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:26,681 I really do. 520 00:33:26,801 --> 00:33:29,041 And I bet you didn't see this one coming. 521 00:33:32,121 --> 00:33:36,121 And the murderer of a fellow demon, 522 00:33:36,241 --> 00:33:39,681 a crime I saw with my own eyes. 523 00:33:40,761 --> 00:33:42,601 Creatures of hell, 524 00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:47,161 you have heard the evidence against the demon known as crowley. 525 00:33:47,281 --> 00:33:49,281 What is your verdict? 526 00:33:49,401 --> 00:33:52,601 All: Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! 527 00:33:52,721 --> 00:33:55,121 Beelzebub: Do you have anything to say 528 00:33:55,241 --> 00:33:57,881 before we take our vengeance on you? 529 00:34:01,121 --> 00:34:02,161 What's it to be? 530 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:05,681 An eternity in the deepest pit? 531 00:34:05,801 --> 00:34:08,281 Hastur: No, we're going to do something even worse. 532 00:34:08,401 --> 00:34:11,281 Letting the punishment fit the crime. 533 00:34:27,721 --> 00:34:29,321 Crowley: The archangel Michael? 534 00:34:29,441 --> 00:34:31,161 That's... unlikely. 535 00:34:31,281 --> 00:34:33,361 Cooperation with our old enemies. 536 00:34:33,481 --> 00:34:37,041 Well, wank-wings, you brought the stuff? 537 00:34:37,161 --> 00:34:38,481 I did. 538 00:34:38,601 --> 00:34:39,881 I'll be back to collect it. 539 00:34:40,001 --> 00:34:43,481 No, I think perhaps you ought to do the honours. It's... 540 00:34:43,601 --> 00:34:45,921 I've seen what that stuff can do. 541 00:34:56,601 --> 00:34:59,281 Demon: You don't get this view down in the basement. 542 00:35:28,521 --> 00:35:29,801 That's holy water. 543 00:35:29,921 --> 00:35:31,361 Michael: The holiest, yes. 544 00:35:31,481 --> 00:35:33,681 Uh, it's not that we don't trust you, Michael, 545 00:35:33,801 --> 00:35:36,161 but obviously we don't trust you. 546 00:35:36,281 --> 00:35:38,561 - Hastur, test it. - Hastur: Hmm. 547 00:35:47,681 --> 00:35:50,481 What the hell do you think you're doing? 548 00:35:50,601 --> 00:35:52,401 Oh, ow! 549 00:35:56,041 --> 00:35:58,721 No. No, no, no. What have I done? 550 00:35:58,841 --> 00:36:01,281 - No, no! Please! - Wrong place. Wrong time. 551 00:36:01,401 --> 00:36:03,001 Please! Please! No! 552 00:36:09,841 --> 00:36:13,721 Demon crowley, I sentence you to extinction 553 00:36:13,841 --> 00:36:15,961 by holy water. 554 00:36:16,081 --> 00:36:17,201 Have you anything to say? 555 00:36:19,641 --> 00:36:20,961 Well, yes. 556 00:36:24,121 --> 00:36:26,201 This is a newjacket, and I'd hate to ruin it. 557 00:36:26,321 --> 00:36:27,841 Do you mind if I take it off? 558 00:36:36,081 --> 00:36:38,081 Just leave the plate outside the door. 559 00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:45,241 Hello, mr s. 560 00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:49,561 Yes, jezebel? 561 00:36:49,681 --> 00:36:50,921 I was just thinking... 562 00:36:52,361 --> 00:36:55,801 After all we've been through the past couple of days, 563 00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:57,521 it seems a bit silly for me 564 00:36:57,641 --> 00:37:00,881 to leave the plate outside the door, so... 565 00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:04,201 I've laid a place for you at the table. 566 00:37:07,961 --> 00:37:12,841 - In your den of iniquity? - Mm-hm. 567 00:37:58,561 --> 00:38:00,601 Shadwell: Oh. Oh. 568 00:38:07,801 --> 00:38:10,161 Mr pull-zifer? 569 00:38:10,281 --> 00:38:13,281 - Pulsifer. - Pulsifer! 570 00:38:13,401 --> 00:38:16,001 Well, I-I have the peculiar honour 571 00:38:16,121 --> 00:38:18,401 of bringing you and mrs pulsifer a small bequest. 572 00:38:18,521 --> 00:38:20,161 There isn't a mrs pulsifer. 573 00:38:20,281 --> 00:38:23,201 Well, other than my mum, but she's in dorking. 574 00:38:23,321 --> 00:38:26,201 How odd. The letter is quite specific. 575 00:38:26,321 --> 00:38:27,321 Can I come in? 576 00:38:28,641 --> 00:38:30,081 Coffee? 577 00:38:30,201 --> 00:38:31,761 Oh, I mustn't. 578 00:38:31,881 --> 00:38:34,081 To be honest, we're all very interested in this. 579 00:38:34,201 --> 00:38:36,081 Mr bychance nearly came down himself, 580 00:38:36,201 --> 00:38:37,801 but he doesn't travel well these days. 581 00:38:39,481 --> 00:38:41,561 I have no idea what you're talking about. 582 00:38:41,681 --> 00:38:42,841 The bequest. 583 00:38:42,961 --> 00:38:45,641 It's what's in the box, with the letter. 584 00:38:45,761 --> 00:38:48,121 My firm has had it for over 300 years. 585 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:52,321 Master robey? 586 00:38:52,441 --> 00:38:54,881 This is for you, from my mother. 587 00:38:55,001 --> 00:38:57,241 And this, with it, for safekeeping. 588 00:38:59,041 --> 00:39:02,481 Voice of god: The letter contained his instructions, a gold coin, 589 00:39:02,601 --> 00:39:05,561 and five interesting facts about the next ten years, 590 00:39:05,681 --> 00:39:08,121 which would ensure that he was able to pursue 591 00:39:08,241 --> 00:39:10,561 a very successful legal career. 592 00:39:10,681 --> 00:39:13,001 All he had to do in return was see that the box 593 00:39:13,121 --> 00:39:15,681 was carefully looked after for se veral centuries, 594 00:39:15,801 --> 00:39:18,521 and then be delivered on this particular Sunday morning. 595 00:39:18,641 --> 00:39:21,441 And, well... here it is. 596 00:39:25,641 --> 00:39:27,801 It's from Agnes. 597 00:39:27,921 --> 00:39:29,201 Are you sure? 598 00:39:29,321 --> 00:39:31,001 I recognise the style. 599 00:39:31,121 --> 00:39:33,801 - I'm anathema. - Baddicombe. 600 00:39:33,921 --> 00:39:36,121 Well, should we see what's inside? 601 00:39:36,241 --> 00:39:39,281 We've been having bets in the office. 602 00:39:40,801 --> 00:39:42,521 Would you like to open it? 603 00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:47,681 I say, that would be something to tell the grandchildren. 604 00:39:56,241 --> 00:39:57,241 That's odd. 605 00:39:57,361 --> 00:39:59,241 That's my name, I... 606 00:40:13,681 --> 00:40:15,241 Excuse me, I... 607 00:40:22,841 --> 00:40:24,161 "Here is a florin, lawyer. 608 00:40:24,281 --> 00:40:27,561 "Nowe, runne faste, lest thee worlde find out the truth 609 00:40:27,681 --> 00:40:28,961 "about yowe and mistress spiddon 610 00:40:29,041 --> 00:40:31,481 "of the council town planning department." 611 00:40:46,281 --> 00:40:50,401 ”Further nice and a ccurate prophecies of a gnes nutter, 612 00:40:50,521 --> 00:40:53,481 ”concerning the worlde that is to com. 613 00:40:58,601 --> 00:41:00,601 "Ye saga continues." 614 00:41:02,921 --> 00:41:07,121 Tracy: You know, I've got a tidy amount put away. 615 00:41:07,241 --> 00:41:11,361 Sometimes, I think it would be nice to move out of London. 616 00:41:12,881 --> 00:41:14,321 Get a little bungalow. 617 00:41:17,361 --> 00:41:20,161 And they say two can live as cheaply as one. 618 00:41:22,801 --> 00:41:24,801 And it would be nice to have a man around. 619 00:41:27,961 --> 00:41:29,681 Uh, well, 620 00:41:29,801 --> 00:41:32,641 I don't think private pulsifer is ever coming back. 621 00:41:34,761 --> 00:41:37,001 I'm the only witchfinder left. 622 00:41:37,121 --> 00:41:38,521 And you found me. 623 00:41:40,361 --> 00:41:42,361 I'm not much of a witch, but... 624 00:41:43,441 --> 00:41:45,601 I'll have to do. 625 00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:50,401 Now what? 626 00:41:56,281 --> 00:41:59,401 I suppose now, I, uh... 627 00:41:59,521 --> 00:42:00,761 I pop the question? 628 00:42:02,721 --> 00:42:04,161 Yeah. 629 00:42:04,281 --> 00:42:05,641 Go on, then. 630 00:42:11,481 --> 00:42:13,521 How many nipples have you got, jezebel? 631 00:42:16,641 --> 00:42:19,721 Retired jezebel, mr s. 632 00:42:21,601 --> 00:42:23,961 Just the two. 633 00:42:25,041 --> 00:42:26,161 Well... 634 00:42:28,161 --> 00:42:29,841 That's all right, then. 635 00:42:36,921 --> 00:42:38,561 Gabriel: So, 636 00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:41,001 with one act of treason, you... 637 00:42:41,121 --> 00:42:44,121 - Averted the war. - Well, I think the greater good... 638 00:42:44,241 --> 00:42:46,601 Don't talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. 639 00:42:46,721 --> 00:42:48,321 I'm the archangel fucking Gabriel. 640 00:42:49,921 --> 00:42:52,401 The greater good was we were finally going to settle things 641 00:42:52,521 --> 00:42:54,561 with the opposition, once and for all. 642 00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:13,561 I don't suppose I can persuade you to reconsider? 643 00:43:15,321 --> 00:43:17,081 We're meant to be the good guys, 644 00:43:17,201 --> 00:43:20,401 - for heaven's sake. - Well, for heaven'ssake, 645 00:43:20,521 --> 00:43:22,681 we are meant to make examples out of traitors. 646 00:43:25,401 --> 00:43:27,641 Into the flame. 647 00:43:37,681 --> 00:43:39,481 Aziraphale: Right. 648 00:43:39,601 --> 00:43:41,001 Well... 649 00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:42,921 Lovely knowing you all. 650 00:43:45,361 --> 00:43:47,201 May we meet on a better occasion. 651 00:43:47,321 --> 00:43:50,001 Shut your stupid mouth and die already. 652 00:44:10,801 --> 00:44:12,121 I don't suppose that anywhere 653 00:44:12,241 --> 00:44:16,801 in the nine circles of hell there's such a thing as a rubber duck? 654 00:44:19,801 --> 00:44:22,681 Ahh... 655 00:44:22,801 --> 00:44:25,041 Mm. 656 00:44:33,361 --> 00:44:35,081 It may be worse than we thought. 657 00:44:37,561 --> 00:44:38,721 He's gone native. 658 00:44:39,841 --> 00:44:41,281 He isn't one of us any more. 659 00:44:43,801 --> 00:44:46,601 What is he? 660 00:44:46,721 --> 00:44:49,041 So, you're probably thinking, 661 00:44:49,161 --> 00:44:53,201 "if he can do this, I wonder what else he can do?" 662 00:44:53,321 --> 00:44:55,161 And very, very soon, 663 00:44:55,281 --> 00:44:57,281 you're all going to get the chance to find out. 664 00:44:57,401 --> 00:45:00,561 He's bluffing! We can take him. 665 00:45:00,681 --> 00:45:02,441 One demon against the rest of hell? 666 00:45:02,561 --> 00:45:04,521 - What's he going to do? - Shut it! 667 00:45:04,641 --> 00:45:07,081 Get him out of here, this'll cause a riot. 668 00:45:07,201 --> 00:45:09,121 What are you all looking at? Nothing to see. 669 00:45:09,241 --> 00:45:10,801 Nothing to see here. 670 00:45:15,641 --> 00:45:17,081 I came to bring back the... 671 00:45:17,201 --> 00:45:20,761 - Oh, lord. - Michael! Dude. 672 00:45:20,881 --> 00:45:22,961 Do us a quick miracle, will you? I need a bath towel. 673 00:45:28,401 --> 00:45:31,561 I think it would be better for everyone 674 00:45:31,681 --> 00:45:34,081 if I were to be left alone in the future. 675 00:45:34,201 --> 00:45:35,841 Don't you? 676 00:45:44,561 --> 00:45:45,881 Right. 677 00:45:50,681 --> 00:45:51,681 Pulsifer: Are you sure? 678 00:45:51,721 --> 00:45:52,721 Anath ema: Yes, I'm sure. 679 00:45:52,841 --> 00:45:54,921 I know what I'm doing. I just... 680 00:45:55,041 --> 00:45:56,081 I just don't like it. 681 00:45:57,241 --> 00:45:59,281 Technological marvels can be revealed. 682 00:45:59,401 --> 00:46:01,441 And you'd probably just break them. 683 00:46:05,361 --> 00:46:07,961 Think of it this way. 684 00:46:08,081 --> 00:46:10,001 Do you want to be a descendant all your life? 685 00:46:30,041 --> 00:46:32,681 Pepper: Psst! 686 00:46:32,801 --> 00:46:34,681 Pepper: Your mum said we couldn't talk to you, 687 00:46:34,801 --> 00:46:36,697 - so we came round the back. - Adam, what happened last night? 688 00:46:36,721 --> 00:46:38,841 Adam: Just stuff. It doesn't matter. 689 00:46:38,961 --> 00:46:40,857 All I try and do is help, and now I'm stuck in the garden. 690 00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:42,841 How long till they let you out? 691 00:46:42,961 --> 00:46:44,121 Years. 692 00:46:44,241 --> 00:46:47,041 Years and years, I expect. 693 00:46:47,161 --> 00:46:50,241 - What about tomorrow? - Tomorrow will be all right. 694 00:46:50,361 --> 00:46:52,097 They'll have forgotten about it by then. They always do. 695 00:46:52,121 --> 00:46:53,641 Pepper: There's a circus in Norton. 696 00:46:53,761 --> 00:46:57,321 - We're going to watch them set up. - You should go. I'll be fine. 697 00:47:24,081 --> 00:47:26,561 Dog, get away from that hedge, 698 00:47:26,681 --> 00:47:28,161 because if you went through, 699 00:47:28,281 --> 00:47:30,121 I'd have to chase you to catch you, 700 00:47:30,241 --> 00:47:32,001 and I'd have to leave the garden. 701 00:47:32,121 --> 00:47:34,041 And I'm not allowed to do that. 702 00:47:34,161 --> 00:47:36,801 But I'd have to if you went and ran away. 703 00:47:40,681 --> 00:47:41,961 Dog, you bad dog! 704 00:47:42,081 --> 00:47:43,641 Stop. Come back here. 705 00:47:50,241 --> 00:47:53,761 Voice of god: Something told him that something was coming to an end. 706 00:47:53,881 --> 00:47:58,281 Not the world exactly, just the summer. 707 00:47:58,401 --> 00:48:03,081 There would be other summers, but there would never be one like this. 708 00:48:03,201 --> 00:48:06,001 Not ever again. 709 00:48:18,241 --> 00:48:21,881 Tyler: Adam young, get away from my apples! 710 00:48:23,361 --> 00:48:26,401 Oi, you, boy! I'll tell your father! 711 00:48:26,521 --> 00:48:29,321 Voice of god: He couldn't see why people made such a fuss 712 00:48:29,441 --> 00:48:31,561 about people eating their apples. 713 00:48:31,681 --> 00:48:34,641 But life would be a lot less fun if they didn't. 714 00:48:34,761 --> 00:48:37,121 And there never was an apple, in a dam's opinion, 715 00:48:37,241 --> 00:48:40,521 that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it. 716 00:48:46,561 --> 00:48:49,041 Crowley's voice: Do you think they'll leave us alone now? 717 00:48:49,161 --> 00:48:53,881 Aziraphale's voice: At a guess, they'll pretend it never happened. 718 00:48:54,001 --> 00:48:55,841 Hmm. 719 00:48:55,961 --> 00:48:58,161 Right. Anyone looking? 720 00:49:03,841 --> 00:49:05,481 Nobody. 721 00:49:05,601 --> 00:49:06,841 Right. 722 00:49:06,961 --> 00:49:08,161 Swap back, then. 723 00:49:08,281 --> 00:49:10,401 Voice of god: [T was just like Agnes had told them - 724 00:49:10,521 --> 00:49:11,921 they were playing with fire 725 00:49:12,041 --> 00:49:14,961 and would need to choose their faces wisely. 726 00:49:15,081 --> 00:49:16,481 And so they had. 727 00:49:17,601 --> 00:49:18,841 Breugh! 728 00:49:21,681 --> 00:49:24,521 A tartan collar. Really? 729 00:49:24,641 --> 00:49:25,961 Tartan is stylish. 730 00:49:30,361 --> 00:49:33,841 Agnes nutter's last prophecy was on the money. 731 00:49:33,961 --> 00:49:36,281 I asked them for a rubber duck 732 00:49:36,401 --> 00:49:39,881 and made the archangel Michael miracle me a towel! 733 00:49:44,881 --> 00:49:46,921 They'll leave us alone... 734 00:49:47,041 --> 00:49:48,361 For a bit. 735 00:49:51,041 --> 00:49:53,881 If you ask me, both sides are going to use this 736 00:49:54,001 --> 00:49:56,721 as breathing space before the big one. 737 00:49:57,801 --> 00:50:00,001 I thought thatwas the big one. 738 00:50:00,121 --> 00:50:02,321 No. For my money, the really big one 739 00:50:02,441 --> 00:50:05,361 is all of us against all of them. 740 00:50:05,481 --> 00:50:07,201 What? 741 00:50:07,321 --> 00:50:09,921 Heaven and hell against... 742 00:50:10,041 --> 00:50:11,161 Humanity? 743 00:50:12,481 --> 00:50:14,281 Right. 744 00:50:14,401 --> 00:50:16,201 Time to leave the garden. 745 00:50:16,321 --> 00:50:20,321 Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch? 746 00:50:20,441 --> 00:50:21,921 Robotically: Temptation accomplished. 747 00:50:23,401 --> 00:50:25,921 Aziraphale: Hmm... what about the ritz? 748 00:50:26,041 --> 00:50:30,161 I believe a table for two has just miraculously come free. 749 00:50:30,281 --> 00:50:31,841 Crowley: Ah! 750 00:50:58,721 --> 00:51:02,001 I like to think none of this would have worked out 751 00:51:02,121 --> 00:51:07,481 if you weren't, at heart, just a little bit a good person. 752 00:51:08,561 --> 00:51:10,441 And if you weren't, 753 00:51:10,561 --> 00:51:11,841 deep down, 754 00:51:11,961 --> 00:51:15,161 just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. 755 00:51:19,721 --> 00:51:21,281 Cheers. 756 00:51:23,361 --> 00:51:24,881 To the world. 757 00:51:26,281 --> 00:51:28,761 To the world. 758 00:51:30,121 --> 00:51:32,001 Voice of god: Perhaps the recent exertions 759 00:51:32,121 --> 00:51:34,241 had had some fallout in the nature of reality, 760 00:51:34,361 --> 00:51:37,681 because while they were eating, for the first time ever, 761 00:51:37,801 --> 00:51:42,321 a nightingale actually did sing in Berkeley square. 762 00:51:42,441 --> 00:51:44,561 Nobody heard it over the noise of the traffic, 763 00:51:44,681 --> 00:51:47,081 but it was there right enough. 764 00:51:47,201 --> 00:51:50,401 ♪ That certain night 765 00:51:50,521 --> 00:51:53,841 ♪ the night we met 766 00:51:53,961 --> 00:52:00,081 ♪ there was magic abroad in the air 767 00:52:00,201 --> 00:52:02,881 ♪ there were angels 768 00:52:03,001 --> 00:52:07,761 ♪ dining at the ritz 769 00:52:07,881 --> 00:52:12,161 ♪ and a nightingale sang 770 00:52:12,281 --> 00:52:18,561 ♪ 177 Berkeley square 771 00:52:21,721 --> 00:52:24,921 ♪ .i' may be right 772 00:52:25,041 --> 00:52:28,801 ♪ .i' may be wrong 773 00:52:28,921 --> 00:52:32,401 ♪ but I'm perfectly willing 774 00:52:32,521 --> 00:52:35,281 ♪ to swear 775 00:52:35,401 --> 00:52:38,561 ♪ that when you turned 776 00:52:38,681 --> 00:52:42,841 ♪ and smiled at me 777 00:52:42,961 --> 00:52:47,481 ♪ a nightingale sang 778 00:52:47,601 --> 00:52:53,321 ♪ 177 Berkeley square 779 00:53:25,081 --> 00:53:27,681 ♪ The streets of town 780 00:53:27,801 --> 00:53:30,881 ♪ were paved with stars 781 00:53:31,001 --> 00:53:38,161 ♪ [t was such a romantic affair 782 00:53:38,281 --> 00:53:41,841 ♪ and as we kissed 783 00:53:41,961 --> 00:53:45,241 ♪ and said goodnight 784 00:53:45,361 --> 00:53:49,601 ♪ a nightingale sang 785 00:53:49,721 --> 00:53:55,521 ♪ 177 Berkeley square 786 00:53:57,241 --> 00:54:04,001 ♪ .i' know cos .i' was there 787 00:54:04,121 --> 00:54:12,121 ♪ that night in Berkeley square. ♪