1 00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:08,845 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:10,005 --> 00:00:11,805 [demons growling] 3 00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:16,925 Jim, I'll need eight battery-operated candles. 4 00:00:17,005 --> 00:00:18,165 They're in my desk drawer. 5 00:00:19,365 --> 00:00:21,325 [magical whooshing] 6 00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:26,125 -Will you just answer a simple question? -If I hear one, of course. 7 00:00:26,205 --> 00:00:28,205 -Uh, this way, please, Jim. -What is happening? 8 00:00:28,285 --> 00:00:29,805 Why is everything so weird? 9 00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:32,444 This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it? 10 00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:34,005 Three questions, none of them simple. 11 00:00:34,085 --> 00:00:36,125 But to answer your last one, no. [chuckles] 12 00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:39,445 This all started a very long time ago. 13 00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,565 But... also, yes. 14 00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:43,205 So, why were we all dancing? 15 00:00:44,405 --> 00:00:46,685 I thought it might make you realize that Maggie loved you, 16 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,045 and then you'd fall in love with her. 17 00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,685 It all looks so simple in Jane Austen. 18 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,565 Jane Austen? 19 00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:57,165 Oh, yes, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery. 20 00:01:01,405 --> 00:01:02,965 [tense music playing] 21 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:06,085 You're going to let us in, whether you like it or not. 22 00:01:07,245 --> 00:01:08,245 Not. 23 00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:10,525 You are not welcome here. 24 00:01:12,925 --> 00:01:14,925 [automated voice] Heaven. Doors opening. 25 00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:18,165 -Right. Where do you keep your records? -Records? 26 00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:21,005 You're a scrivener, 37th class. Records, where? 27 00:01:21,725 --> 00:01:23,565 -My office, but-- -Lead on. 28 00:01:23,645 --> 00:01:25,965 But... No, I can't! 29 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,044 You're a demon! I can't just-- 30 00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,365 Do you know how much trouble I'll get into for this? 31 00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,725 It's fine. 32 00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:33,085 You're forgetting about the bees. 33 00:01:33,165 --> 00:01:35,565 -Bees? -Angels are like bees. 34 00:01:35,645 --> 00:01:38,165 Fiercely protective of their hive if you're trying to get inside. 35 00:01:38,245 --> 00:01:40,365 Once you're in... well, I mean... 36 00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:45,365 is it even faintly possible that an unauthorized demon might be just 37 00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:48,165 wandering around in Heaven unescorted? 38 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:50,484 Mm, bees. 39 00:01:51,165 --> 00:01:53,205 But you don't look like a bee. 40 00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:55,365 You look like a murder hornet 41 00:01:55,445 --> 00:01:56,965 or a snake or a-- 42 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,205 Bees. Right. 43 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,405 Your office. I'll follow you. 44 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,725 [demons grunting] 45 00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:17,125 Go, go. Hide. 46 00:02:17,165 --> 00:02:18,885 You lot are ridiculous. 47 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,605 We are the legions of the damned. We are invincible. 48 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:25,765 You might be invincible, but you're still stuck out there, and we're in here. 49 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:26,965 You don't frighten me. 50 00:02:28,445 --> 00:02:30,885 [demons grunting] 51 00:02:33,765 --> 00:02:37,525 I had brothers. You don't scare me by making faces. 52 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,285 -Just leave 'em alone, Maggie. -No. 53 00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,445 I'm not scared of them. 54 00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:43,565 I've spent my life being scared of things. 55 00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:46,525 And I'm done with being scared. 56 00:02:46,605 --> 00:02:48,045 Please, Maggie. 57 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,845 Yes, please, Maggie. 58 00:02:49,925 --> 00:02:55,045 Please don't embarrass yourself in front of the woman you pathetically love. 59 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:59,445 She's not embarrassing herself. She's... braver than anyone I know. 60 00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:01,245 Two cowards. 61 00:03:01,325 --> 00:03:05,165 You posture bravely because you are in there and we are out here. 62 00:03:05,245 --> 00:03:07,645 Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone. 63 00:03:07,725 --> 00:03:10,485 Leave Mr. Fell alone. 64 00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:12,525 You are nothing, Maggie. 65 00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:16,325 Look at you. You run a shop nobody visits, 66 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,005 unable to pay the rent. Dull. 67 00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:21,485 You're unloved and unlovable. 68 00:03:22,565 --> 00:03:24,245 You're a nobody, 69 00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:27,805 and you'll live, and then you'll die, a nobody. 70 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:36,205 My God, you lot are pathetic. 71 00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:38,445 You wanna come in here and say that to my face? 72 00:03:39,525 --> 00:03:41,084 [bell tolls in distance] 73 00:03:42,285 --> 00:03:43,605 [shushing] 74 00:03:44,645 --> 00:03:46,005 Come on, quickly. Go! 75 00:03:58,485 --> 00:03:59,565 Maggie, 76 00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:01,285 what just happened? 77 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,925 I... I think I might have just told them they could come in. 78 00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,005 Get back... Get back here now, fast, please. 79 00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,085 It's for your own good. 80 00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:13,525 I am perfectly prepared to take defensive action, 81 00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:14,965 should it become necessary. 82 00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:16,685 Stay back. 83 00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:21,005 Hello? 84 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:24,605 Is there anybody there? 85 00:04:24,685 --> 00:04:26,565 [magical whooshing] 86 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:31,605 I have to tell you, 87 00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:34,485 you can all leave now, 88 00:04:35,445 --> 00:04:37,045 and nobody will be hurt. 89 00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:46,245 [scoffs] 90 00:04:46,365 --> 00:04:47,525 [demon screams] 91 00:04:50,325 --> 00:04:51,525 You'll be hurt. 92 00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:54,005 [intro theme music playing] 93 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,445 -Mm, nice office. -[Muriel] It's a bit lonely. 94 00:06:40,085 --> 00:06:43,285 That was why I was so pleased when they said I finally had a job on Earth. 95 00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:45,285 Don't you ever see anyone here? 96 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,765 Well, every few hundred years someone comes and asks me for something. 97 00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:53,685 -You're not really under arrest, are you? -Not really, no. 98 00:06:53,765 --> 00:06:56,245 I'm helping you, aren't I? 99 00:06:56,885 --> 00:06:57,885 Yeah. 100 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,725 -I'm going to get into so much trouble. -You think so? 101 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:07,485 Well then, let's make it worthwhile. [laughs] 102 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,725 What have you got on Gabriel? 103 00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:28,805 It's all confidential. I can't show it to you. 104 00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:31,085 I mean, I couldn't open it if I wanted to. 105 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,685 I don't have clearance. 106 00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:35,205 You'd have to be a throne or a dominion, or above. 107 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,685 -How did you do that? -I haven't always been a demon, 108 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,445 and they never change their passwords. 109 00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:55,245 Go on, you idiots. Get them! 110 00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:57,885 [suspenseful music playing] 111 00:07:57,965 --> 00:07:59,565 [demon screams] 112 00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:07,885 [demon screams] 113 00:08:10,085 --> 00:08:11,365 [demon screams] 114 00:08:12,765 --> 00:08:15,085 They aren't gonna keep walking into the circle forever. 115 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,765 Even demons aren't that stupid. 116 00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,005 So, what's your plan? 117 00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:20,365 Well, that was it. I didn't have another bit. 118 00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,525 [demon screams] 119 00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:24,285 [laughing] 120 00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:26,725 Uh... this way, quickly. 121 00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:28,725 [demon screams] 122 00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:30,885 Why do they keep blowing up? 123 00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:33,804 Well, it's all a bit complicated. The circle, it's a gateway, 124 00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:36,125 but if you step into it and you aren't prepared, 125 00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,445 it can discorporate you completely. 126 00:08:38,525 --> 00:08:40,485 Does what you say make sense in your head? 127 00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:42,125 [demon screams] 128 00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:44,125 [yells] Stop where you are! 129 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:46,205 And so... 130 00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:49,085 it ends. 131 00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:51,165 Everything ends. 132 00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:53,765 Time and the world 133 00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:55,485 is over, 134 00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,725 and we begin eternity... 135 00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,885 forever and ever. 136 00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:03,165 Amen. 137 00:09:03,245 --> 00:09:04,765 -Amen. -Amen. 138 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,005 Nah. 139 00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:10,885 Nah? 140 00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:12,765 Yep. 141 00:09:13,645 --> 00:09:14,645 Nah. 142 00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:19,045 Nah to the final victory of Heaven on Earth? 143 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,125 Sorry, just not seeing it this time. 144 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,245 Pass. 145 00:09:23,325 --> 00:09:27,645 And may I ask why you're not seeing it? 146 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,485 Surely. 147 00:09:30,485 --> 00:09:32,325 -Why? -I told you you could ask. 148 00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:36,125 However, I am the only first-order archangel in the room, 149 00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,205 or, you know, the universe, 150 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,885 so I'm not gonna answer so much. 151 00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:43,605 But you feel free to knock yourself out with all the asking. 152 00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,005 Anyway, Armageddon the sequel, 153 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:48,525 that's a nah. 154 00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,045 What's next on the agenda? 155 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,525 -The cleaning roster. -Okay! 156 00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:55,725 What have you got? 157 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,605 I think we've struck gold. 158 00:09:58,645 --> 00:09:59,645 Push! 159 00:10:05,365 --> 00:10:06,965 [demon screams] 160 00:10:10,645 --> 00:10:12,205 [demon screams] 161 00:10:12,765 --> 00:10:15,045 -It's working! -Well, yeah! 162 00:10:16,725 --> 00:10:18,085 [demon screams] 163 00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:20,525 [demon screams] 164 00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:24,885 There's even more fire extinguishers up here. 165 00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:26,725 [demon grunts] 166 00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:30,045 Why all the fire extinguishers? 167 00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,085 Uh, well, there was a fire here once, you see. 168 00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:36,885 And, um... well, books can go up like... 169 00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:40,245 -Well, anyway... -Brilliant 170 00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:41,765 Got any of that spray foam? 171 00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:48,205 So, Gabriel refused point blank to entertain another Armageddon? 172 00:10:48,285 --> 00:10:49,845 Doesn't sound like him at all. 173 00:10:50,645 --> 00:10:51,885 Any idea why not? 174 00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:54,885 Not yet. They had a sort of trial. 175 00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:58,045 [Saraqael] It was a real trial. It didn't take long, though. 176 00:10:58,805 --> 00:10:59,805 Hello, Crowley. 177 00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:02,245 I didn't expect to ever see you again. 178 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:04,285 Do we know each other? 179 00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:05,805 When you were an angel. 180 00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:07,965 We worked together on the Horsehead Nebula. 181 00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:11,125 I meet a lot of people. [chuckles] 182 00:11:12,165 --> 00:11:16,645 Muriel, you're the last person I'd expect to see collaborating with the enemy. 183 00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:17,765 -Oh. -[Muriel] Um... 184 00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:21,325 I suppose, from some points of view, this could look bad, 185 00:11:21,405 --> 00:11:23,605 -but I did arrest him. -[Saraqael] No, you didn't. 186 00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:27,045 Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on. 187 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,285 Show him the trial. 188 00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:33,085 Shax, I charge you to leave this place, 189 00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,445 with all your people, 190 00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,365 and to jolly well hurry up about it, 191 00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:41,925 or I'm going to have to take 192 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,325 severe measures. 193 00:11:44,045 --> 00:11:47,285 [Shax] Aziraphale, what are you? 194 00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:50,885 Crowley's emotional support angel? 195 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:54,605 The softest touch. The one who went native. 196 00:11:55,205 --> 00:11:58,525 Do you need more big human meals, Aziraphale? 197 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,645 Shall we send up the sushi? 198 00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:04,925 -[demons laughing] -Give us Gabriel. 199 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,885 Give him to us now. 200 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:09,205 -Sometimes people call me Gabriel. -Shh. 201 00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,325 [Shax] And tell that moron 202 00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:14,125 to stop interrupting. 203 00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:16,045 Jim, go... go to your room. You'll be safer there. 204 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:19,125 Okay. Good night. Does anybody want any hot chocolate? 205 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,245 -[both] No. -[Aziraphale] Go. 206 00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,765 [suspenseful music playing] 207 00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,325 [demons screaming and grunting] 208 00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:49,525 [Michael] Gabriel, Supreme Archangel, 209 00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:52,805 you have refused to exercise your celestial authority 210 00:12:52,885 --> 00:12:56,685 and you are henceforth removed from office. 211 00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,205 I see. You're casting me down to Hell. 212 00:13:00,485 --> 00:13:02,205 Well, I accept my fate. 213 00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:04,445 Sometimes an angel just has to say, 214 00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:06,725 "Guys, enough." 215 00:13:06,805 --> 00:13:09,125 -Even though-- -No speeches, Gabriel. 216 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,445 You are not going to Hell. 217 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:15,685 For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness 218 00:13:15,765 --> 00:13:17,245 makes a good story. 219 00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:18,925 For it to happen twice, 220 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:23,605 makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem. 221 00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:24,805 Which there isn't. 222 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:27,445 Which, needless to say, there isn't. 223 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,165 You will, I am sure you'll be glad to learn, 224 00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:32,045 remain an angel. 225 00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,045 Although, as a kindness, 226 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:38,085 your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. 227 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,885 You will be demoted 228 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:43,205 to junior recording angel, 229 00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:45,765 38th class. 230 00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:49,245 Oh, that's pretty good, actually. I'm 37th class. 231 00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:51,365 I didn't know that there was one down. 232 00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:54,125 [Gabriel] I see. Well, all good things. 233 00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:57,245 Uh, just one thing. These clothes are tailored. 234 00:13:57,325 --> 00:13:58,605 Can I keep wearing them? 235 00:13:58,685 --> 00:14:02,005 Appropriate raiment will be provided for you, Gabriel. 236 00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:04,845 -These clothes? -Are not appropriate. 237 00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:09,005 Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. 238 00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,365 -You have a desk? -Yes, I do. 239 00:14:13,405 --> 00:14:15,645 I'll just need a... 240 00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,005 I'll be right back. 241 00:14:18,605 --> 00:14:20,485 -[tense music playing] -[demons screaming] 242 00:14:26,845 --> 00:14:29,325 -Can we throw books at them? -I'd rather you didn't. 243 00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:32,125 Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias? 244 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,005 -It's all online these days anyway. -Oh, if you must. 245 00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,325 Ah! 246 00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:41,045 [both grunting] 247 00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,165 Ah! 248 00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:46,405 [soft music playing] 249 00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:01,885 [Crowley] What? What's he... 250 00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,085 [automated voice] Doors opening. 251 00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:18,205 -[Muriel] He dropped it! -[automated voice] Doors closing. 252 00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:19,845 Going down. 253 00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,565 What's keeping him? 254 00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:31,165 I believe he's taking off his clothes and cleaning out his desk. 255 00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:34,605 Uriel, he doesn't have a desk. 256 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,925 I don't trust him. Can we begin the memory wipe now? 257 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,165 [Michael] What, without him here? 258 00:15:41,685 --> 00:15:43,805 -Good idea. -Right. 259 00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:49,525 I can't... I can't find his memory anywhere. 260 00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:52,645 In fact, I can't find him in the building. 261 00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:54,125 He's left Heaven. 262 00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:57,405 -Should I sound an alert? -Oh, don't be so wet. 263 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:02,085 No, you're all just going to have to find him. That's all. 264 00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:07,325 Stop lollygagging, you cowards. Get back up those stairs. 265 00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:10,965 Fire extinguishers have all been emptied, and we're out of encyclopedias. 266 00:16:11,045 --> 00:16:12,605 We can't... We can't stop them. 267 00:16:13,525 --> 00:16:14,525 What do we do? 268 00:16:16,085 --> 00:16:17,965 Desperate measures must be taken. 269 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,005 [Aziraphale grunts] 270 00:16:23,845 --> 00:16:24,885 [grunts] 271 00:16:27,525 --> 00:16:28,565 [grunts] 272 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:32,925 I haven't done this since the Great War. 273 00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:38,165 It's something we're only meant to do when we're actually 274 00:16:38,725 --> 00:16:41,765 on a wartime... footing. 275 00:16:41,845 --> 00:16:44,605 [grunts] 276 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:53,845 [magical music playing] 277 00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:15,805 [demons screaming] 278 00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,405 [Nina] What did you just do? 279 00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:29,205 I think... 280 00:17:30,445 --> 00:17:32,565 I may have just started a war. 281 00:17:33,925 --> 00:17:36,285 -[electrical zapping] -What just happened? 282 00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:38,565 I think your friend just declared war on Hell. 283 00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:41,325 This could get very messy. 284 00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,485 Ugh, right, come on! Let's get back there. 285 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,765 You too. 286 00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:48,405 [lively music playing] 287 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,005 Funny old world, isn't it? 288 00:18:00,085 --> 00:18:01,205 [laughs] 289 00:18:03,445 --> 00:18:04,445 Hello? 290 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,085 Anybody here? 291 00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:08,245 You came back. 292 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:10,325 [door shuts] 293 00:18:11,445 --> 00:18:13,485 What did you do to them all? 294 00:18:13,565 --> 00:18:15,085 I did the thing with the halo. 295 00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:18,085 -You what? -I did the thing with the halo. 296 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,005 You... [chuckles] You blew up your halo? 297 00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:24,805 [laughs] Ooh, Hell won't like that. 298 00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:27,885 [suspenseful music playing] 299 00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,685 We are at war! Finally! [laughs] 300 00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,685 Nobody's at war. 301 00:18:41,765 --> 00:18:45,925 You idiots sent an idiot to lead a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop. 302 00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:50,405 Those idiots there want their archangel back so they can fire him. 303 00:18:50,485 --> 00:18:51,485 [growls softly] 304 00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:54,805 [electrical zapping] 305 00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:58,085 [Beelzebub] Nice job, Shax. 306 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,405 Beautifully done. 307 00:19:01,285 --> 00:19:03,325 Remind me to put in for your commendation. 308 00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:07,765 -Sarcasm, yes? -Yep. 309 00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:09,405 I'm afraid so. 310 00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:12,165 [Michael clears throat] 311 00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:18,325 -If it is to be war-- -No, no, no, no, no war. 312 00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:20,645 Aziraphale, let's sort this out. Where's the cardboard box? 313 00:19:21,485 --> 00:19:24,085 -What box? -The one Gabriel arrived with. 314 00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:27,565 Gabriel? He's here? 315 00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:32,205 -Sometimes people call me Gabriel. -Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle. 316 00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:35,085 Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well. 317 00:19:35,165 --> 00:19:38,565 -Careful. Could be a trap. -[Saraqael] It's a cardboard box. 318 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,805 It's not going to bite you. 319 00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:52,685 Oh, there we go. I thought that's what you were doing. 320 00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:55,805 -What was I doing? -You were writing a message. 321 00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:58,245 Oh, probably to yourself, on the bottom of the box. 322 00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,725 [Aziraphale] "I am in the fly." 323 00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,085 What fly? 324 00:20:03,525 --> 00:20:04,725 Lord Beelzebub, 325 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,725 I believe flies are your department. 326 00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:08,525 Mm. 327 00:20:10,925 --> 00:20:13,885 There's only one fly here, and it's familiar. 328 00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,645 [whistles] Come here. Come on. 329 00:20:20,565 --> 00:20:23,405 -Good boy. [scoffs] -[fly buzzing] 330 00:20:25,405 --> 00:20:27,445 [Beelzebub] No wonder nobody could find you. 331 00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:30,485 This is where you were keeping all your memories. 332 00:20:31,085 --> 00:20:33,245 All your... you. 333 00:20:34,805 --> 00:20:35,805 Look at you. 334 00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,405 You're perfect. 335 00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:41,885 Here. 336 00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:43,925 Take it. 337 00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:46,805 -[chuckles softly] -Gently. 338 00:20:48,565 --> 00:20:49,645 [fly buzzing] 339 00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,205 Now... 340 00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:55,085 open it. 341 00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:58,165 [tense music playing] 342 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,885 [whooshing] 343 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:15,005 How I am supposed to get ten million angels to stand down 344 00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:17,205 from their war footing is... 345 00:21:17,765 --> 00:21:18,965 It doesn't bear thinking about. 346 00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,725 You should try to get ten million demons 347 00:21:20,805 --> 00:21:23,205 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 348 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:26,525 Well, at least we know whose fault it is! 349 00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:30,405 [whooshing] 350 00:21:35,005 --> 00:21:37,445 You can't sit there, I'm waiting for someone. 351 00:21:37,525 --> 00:21:40,085 -You're waiting for me. -I don't think so. 352 00:21:41,165 --> 00:21:42,325 New face. 353 00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:45,565 I had the old one for 6,000 years. I just thought it was time for a change. 354 00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:47,925 -I don't know who you are. -Come on, it's me. 355 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:51,325 Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. 356 00:21:52,685 --> 00:21:53,685 Watch. 357 00:21:56,325 --> 00:21:57,805 [fly buzzing] 358 00:21:58,845 --> 00:22:00,925 -There you go. -Why did you wanna meet me here? 359 00:22:01,005 --> 00:22:02,685 Well, if we're gonna have background talks, 360 00:22:02,765 --> 00:22:05,005 they can't be in either of our home territories. 361 00:22:05,085 --> 00:22:07,205 And what do we need to discuss? 362 00:22:08,645 --> 00:22:09,965 Arma-bloody-geddon. 363 00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:12,725 That was a complete and utter pain in the ass. 364 00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:15,925 -I know, but we are ready for round two. -As are we. 365 00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:18,605 Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come. 366 00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:20,965 Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon. 367 00:22:22,045 --> 00:22:23,485 Ah. [laughs] 368 00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:26,445 -Well, you lost. -So did you. 369 00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,245 -No, we didn't. -Well, you didn't win. 370 00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:29,965 Tell me about it. 371 00:22:30,045 --> 00:22:32,085 Everyone in Heaven is all like, "Well, you're the commander-in-chief, 372 00:22:32,165 --> 00:22:34,245 can't you just make the war happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules. 373 00:22:34,325 --> 00:22:36,245 [scoffs] That's exactly what my lot said. 374 00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:38,325 Well, 375 00:22:38,405 --> 00:22:40,605 it's good to know there's someone who understands. Thank you. 376 00:22:42,045 --> 00:22:43,565 It's a pity we'll never speak again. 377 00:22:44,365 --> 00:22:46,165 [whooshing] 378 00:22:52,845 --> 00:22:54,365 I have a proposal to make. 379 00:22:54,445 --> 00:22:56,525 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly playing] 380 00:22:56,605 --> 00:22:58,965 Instead of Armageddon, what about... 381 00:23:00,965 --> 00:23:02,045 no Armageddon? 382 00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:06,045 An interesting proposal. 383 00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:08,925 No Armageddon. 384 00:23:10,565 --> 00:23:11,925 They won't like that, though. 385 00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:15,125 Most of my demons live for Armageddon, if you can call that living. 386 00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:18,045 Well, my angels too. But you can't always get what you... 387 00:23:19,245 --> 00:23:20,245 live for. 388 00:23:20,725 --> 00:23:22,605 Advantages to no Armageddon? 389 00:23:22,685 --> 00:23:26,925 We keep the status quo, static and, um, quo-ey. 390 00:23:30,045 --> 00:23:32,245 -No one can ever know, of course. -Of course. 391 00:23:33,805 --> 00:23:34,845 A deal? 392 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,205 Mm. 393 00:23:37,285 --> 00:23:39,125 [song continues playing] 394 00:23:43,125 --> 00:23:44,285 I like this song. 395 00:23:45,965 --> 00:23:47,005 Song? 396 00:23:47,645 --> 00:23:49,565 -The music that's playing now. -What music? 397 00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,085 The noise. 398 00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:52,645 -That's music? -[chuckles] 399 00:23:54,085 --> 00:23:55,085 I like it. 400 00:23:56,325 --> 00:23:58,965 Contains information in a tuneful way. 401 00:24:00,645 --> 00:24:03,125 Every day something is getting closer. 402 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:08,405 Then, um... Then I also like it. 403 00:24:08,485 --> 00:24:12,805 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 404 00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:15,165 ♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪ 405 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:20,485 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 406 00:24:21,765 --> 00:24:22,765 [song ends] 407 00:24:24,285 --> 00:24:25,325 So... 408 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,485 agreement concluded. 409 00:24:29,285 --> 00:24:31,205 No need to ever meet again, is there? 410 00:24:33,925 --> 00:24:35,245 None whatsoever. 411 00:24:35,325 --> 00:24:37,245 [whooshing] 412 00:24:45,765 --> 00:24:46,965 [Gabriel] Let there be light. 413 00:24:48,725 --> 00:24:50,165 I think the sculptor really caught something. 414 00:24:50,885 --> 00:24:52,085 The shape of the head. 415 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:55,125 Beautiful. Really moving. 416 00:24:55,205 --> 00:24:56,685 [Beelzebub] It's a very good likeness. 417 00:24:58,245 --> 00:25:00,365 Sometimes I come here for hours and just... 418 00:25:01,445 --> 00:25:02,445 look at it. 419 00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:10,805 [Beelzebub] Right. Shall we go to the pub? 420 00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:20,085 Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor, please. And, uh... 421 00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,925 -Packet of crisps. -[man] Very good, sir. 422 00:25:22,005 --> 00:25:24,325 Which liquor would that be? 423 00:25:24,965 --> 00:25:28,605 Whichever one it is you humans usually orally consume. 424 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,765 Two pints of regular, then. 425 00:25:30,845 --> 00:25:33,045 [music playing] 426 00:25:37,325 --> 00:25:38,365 What's that? 427 00:25:39,045 --> 00:25:41,085 A classic 1960s jukebox. 428 00:25:41,765 --> 00:25:43,765 You don't see many of them these days. 429 00:25:44,645 --> 00:25:47,085 You just put your money in and tell it what you want to hear. 430 00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,165 Oh... 431 00:25:48,885 --> 00:25:49,925 You people. 432 00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:51,765 Amazing. 433 00:25:53,325 --> 00:25:54,525 [whooshing] 434 00:25:56,565 --> 00:25:57,565 [Gabriel] Ha! 435 00:25:58,085 --> 00:25:59,365 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly playing] 436 00:25:59,445 --> 00:26:01,725 ♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪ 437 00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:05,245 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 438 00:26:05,325 --> 00:26:09,605 ♪ Love like yours will surely come my way... ♪ 439 00:26:10,285 --> 00:26:11,525 [Gabriel] Here you go. 440 00:26:15,165 --> 00:26:17,245 -You don't actually have to consume. -Oh. 441 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,565 -And the... -Oh, packet of crisps? Good. 442 00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:24,485 ♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪ 443 00:26:25,485 --> 00:26:27,165 Is that... Did you... 444 00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:29,965 -A small miracle. -Oh. 445 00:26:30,045 --> 00:26:33,205 That song will always be there on that jukebox, 446 00:26:33,285 --> 00:26:35,605 -to comfort the afflicted. -Mmm. 447 00:26:39,365 --> 00:26:40,845 I should give you something. 448 00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,885 Here. It's for you. 449 00:26:47,725 --> 00:26:49,085 You never know when you'll need it. 450 00:26:50,045 --> 00:26:52,325 It's a container, so... 451 00:26:52,405 --> 00:26:55,765 it's bigger on the inside. You can put things in it. 452 00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:04,605 -Bye-bye. [chuckles] -[fly buzzing] 453 00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:14,525 I don't actually know what to say. 454 00:27:15,525 --> 00:27:16,525 Why not? 455 00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,365 No one's ever given me anything before. 456 00:27:23,445 --> 00:27:24,725 [sighs] 457 00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:26,325 ♪ ...seems a little longer ♪ 458 00:27:26,405 --> 00:27:28,805 ♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪ 459 00:27:29,365 --> 00:27:30,885 [whooshing] 460 00:27:31,925 --> 00:27:33,085 [gasps] 461 00:27:33,165 --> 00:27:35,325 [soft music playing] 462 00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:45,605 Aziraphale. 463 00:27:46,725 --> 00:27:47,725 [Gabriel laughs] 464 00:27:50,205 --> 00:27:51,525 Michael, Uriel. 465 00:27:52,525 --> 00:27:54,365 -Don't tell me. -I won't. 466 00:27:57,565 --> 00:27:59,165 -It's Saraqael! -Saraqael! 467 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:01,325 Yes, I knew that. Of course it is 468 00:28:01,405 --> 00:28:02,845 [laughs] 469 00:28:03,525 --> 00:28:04,965 Oh, eesh. 470 00:28:05,845 --> 00:28:06,845 You guys. 471 00:28:09,765 --> 00:28:10,765 You. 472 00:28:12,645 --> 00:28:14,565 [sighs] Thank you. 473 00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,285 Silly, silly angel. 474 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,365 Why? 475 00:28:20,205 --> 00:28:22,765 I was coming to you, but... 476 00:28:23,845 --> 00:28:25,045 I... 477 00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:27,445 -forgot. -[chuckles] 478 00:28:29,685 --> 00:28:32,325 Well, I think Aziraphale probably took much better care of you 479 00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:33,725 than I could've done. 480 00:28:33,805 --> 00:28:34,845 Beelzebub! 481 00:28:35,605 --> 00:28:37,365 You traitor! 482 00:28:37,445 --> 00:28:39,165 Collaborating with Heaven? 483 00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:41,445 I didn't collaborate with Heaven 484 00:28:41,525 --> 00:28:44,605 any more than Gabriel collaborated with Hell. 485 00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:50,965 I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides. 486 00:28:54,725 --> 00:28:57,165 [chuckles] That's really sweet. 487 00:28:57,245 --> 00:28:58,525 [gagging] 488 00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:01,525 -Enough to make you believe in true love. -[Michael] Mortals? 489 00:29:02,285 --> 00:29:05,045 What are mortals doing here? Someone turn them into pillars of salt. 490 00:29:05,125 --> 00:29:06,725 -Saraqael. -I'm on it. 491 00:29:06,805 --> 00:29:09,125 That... That won't be necessary. I'll see to this. 492 00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,965 Maggie, Nina, you come with me. 493 00:29:12,445 --> 00:29:13,725 You got this? 494 00:29:13,805 --> 00:29:16,045 Oh, um, absolutely, yes. 495 00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:17,805 -[soft music playing] -[door opens] 496 00:29:19,445 --> 00:29:20,485 [door shuts] 497 00:29:21,085 --> 00:29:23,525 Just don't, uh, tell anybody about any of this. 498 00:29:23,605 --> 00:29:25,645 Not that anyone would ever believe a word of it. 499 00:29:25,725 --> 00:29:27,565 Oh, God, I should've been open half an hour ago. 500 00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:29,565 How can you think about that after all this? 501 00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:31,805 People need coffee, I sell coffee, it's my coffee shop. 502 00:29:31,885 --> 00:29:34,005 -I should be open by now. -Right, nice knowing you both. 503 00:29:34,085 --> 00:29:35,085 Let's say goodbye forever 504 00:29:35,165 --> 00:29:36,885 and pretend none of this ever happened, yeah? 505 00:29:38,765 --> 00:29:41,685 Oh. Some of us have been working all night, you know. 506 00:29:48,365 --> 00:29:49,645 Where did you come from? 507 00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:54,645 I don't remember. 508 00:29:54,725 --> 00:29:57,565 Good call. Never tell them how it's done, 509 00:29:57,645 --> 00:30:00,325 unless they pay you for it first. Here, pick a card. 510 00:30:03,525 --> 00:30:06,245 I'm going to my shop, to sleep behind the counter. 511 00:30:07,645 --> 00:30:10,005 Unless you'd like some help? 512 00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:13,445 Could you nip down the mini mart and pick me up some cream, 513 00:30:13,525 --> 00:30:15,365 oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk? 514 00:30:15,445 --> 00:30:16,805 Mm. I'm on it. 515 00:30:21,045 --> 00:30:22,645 [overlapping argument] 516 00:30:22,725 --> 00:30:23,845 I can't hear you. 517 00:30:23,925 --> 00:30:25,685 [argument continues] 518 00:30:25,765 --> 00:30:27,925 Can we have-- Please, can we have a... 519 00:30:29,885 --> 00:30:32,725 [bell ringing] 520 00:30:33,685 --> 00:30:35,485 I've had quite enough of this. 521 00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,765 You will speak one at a time. 522 00:30:42,325 --> 00:30:46,085 I demand that you handover both Gabriel and Beelzebub 523 00:30:46,165 --> 00:30:49,445 as gifts for Satan, our master. 524 00:30:50,045 --> 00:30:51,125 He won't want them. 525 00:30:52,085 --> 00:30:53,445 Maybe as hors d'oeuvres. 526 00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:56,005 And I demand you hand them over to us, 527 00:30:56,085 --> 00:30:57,965 to face celestial punishment. 528 00:30:58,045 --> 00:31:00,125 [Saraqael] Obviously we would be reserving the option 529 00:31:00,205 --> 00:31:02,285 to send them both to Hell as our punishment. 530 00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:04,285 But we'd be the ones doing it. 531 00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:06,045 Why don't we ask them 532 00:31:06,765 --> 00:31:08,045 where they'd like to go? 533 00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:09,605 Oh, this is ridiculous. 534 00:31:09,685 --> 00:31:11,485 [Furfur] No, there are precedents. 535 00:31:11,565 --> 00:31:13,285 Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you. 536 00:31:13,365 --> 00:31:16,045 Job, that was one. Lovely man, never met him. 537 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,125 Um, Gabriel, 538 00:31:18,005 --> 00:31:19,005 Beelzebub, 539 00:31:20,445 --> 00:31:21,485 what do you want? 540 00:31:23,725 --> 00:31:25,605 I would like... 541 00:31:26,965 --> 00:31:28,005 better clothes, 542 00:31:29,125 --> 00:31:31,325 and I would like to be with Beelzebub. 543 00:31:31,405 --> 00:31:34,205 Wherever Beelzebub is... is my Heaven. 544 00:31:34,285 --> 00:31:35,325 [Michael] Mm-hmm. 545 00:31:35,405 --> 00:31:38,325 And where you are, my sweet, is forever my Hell. 546 00:31:38,405 --> 00:31:40,925 -[Shax groans softly] -You know, Alpha Centauri's nice. 547 00:31:41,005 --> 00:31:42,165 Always wanted to go there. 548 00:31:42,925 --> 00:31:45,645 Couple of decent planets. No nightlife to speak of. 549 00:31:45,725 --> 00:31:47,005 [Uriel] If you leave, 550 00:31:47,085 --> 00:31:48,485 you can never come back. 551 00:31:49,165 --> 00:31:51,405 -That would be the point. -If you flee, 552 00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:52,805 traitor, 553 00:31:52,885 --> 00:31:56,365 Hell will send all its legions to hunt you down. 554 00:31:56,445 --> 00:32:00,845 You know as well as I do how badly understaffed Hell is right now. 555 00:32:00,925 --> 00:32:03,205 Anyway, with me not there, Shax, 556 00:32:03,845 --> 00:32:05,805 you could be the next Grand Duke of Hell. 557 00:32:08,005 --> 00:32:09,605 Grand Duke of Hell. 558 00:32:09,685 --> 00:32:11,885 Angels and Demons, they can't just-- 559 00:32:11,965 --> 00:32:16,005 [singing] ♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪ 560 00:32:16,085 --> 00:32:20,565 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 561 00:32:20,645 --> 00:32:22,885 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 562 00:32:22,965 --> 00:32:25,765 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 563 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:28,685 ♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪ 564 00:32:29,565 --> 00:32:32,445 Ah, if you're going back to Hell, can I get my flat back? 565 00:32:32,525 --> 00:32:34,805 -Who the hell cares? -I care! 566 00:32:34,885 --> 00:32:36,525 I'm bored of living in my car. 567 00:32:36,605 --> 00:32:39,245 [mumbles] And I don't think my car's much of a fan of it either. 568 00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:41,165 I believe the Dark Council 569 00:32:41,245 --> 00:32:44,725 will have something to say about all this nonsense. 570 00:32:44,805 --> 00:32:47,965 Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled that the mighty Shax 571 00:32:48,045 --> 00:32:51,005 has uncovered a traitor in our midst. 572 00:32:52,605 --> 00:32:53,605 [Shax growls] 573 00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,845 Let's find out, shall we? 574 00:33:07,325 --> 00:33:09,845 Order accurately and fast. I haven't slept in 30 hours 575 00:33:09,925 --> 00:33:12,165 and I will not hesitate to mock you if I don't like your order. 576 00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:14,805 Yes, I quite understand. 577 00:33:14,885 --> 00:33:16,085 I'd like a... 578 00:33:16,685 --> 00:33:19,405 large oat milk latte 579 00:33:19,485 --> 00:33:22,685 with a dash of almond syrup, please. 580 00:33:23,685 --> 00:33:24,685 Coming up. 581 00:33:25,245 --> 00:33:27,765 Do people ever ask for death? 582 00:33:27,845 --> 00:33:28,925 What? 583 00:33:29,445 --> 00:33:33,645 Well, the name of your establishment, "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death." 584 00:33:33,725 --> 00:33:35,765 I assume they always ask for coffee. 585 00:33:36,445 --> 00:33:37,925 They don't ever ask for death, no. 586 00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:39,885 No, I don't suppose they do. 587 00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:42,485 So predictable. 588 00:33:43,125 --> 00:33:45,965 I am authorized to remove the name of anyone 589 00:33:46,045 --> 00:33:48,405 who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. 590 00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:51,365 You will never have existed, Aziraphale. 591 00:33:51,445 --> 00:33:52,445 [door opens] 592 00:33:52,525 --> 00:33:53,845 [Michael] In the absence of Gabriel, 593 00:33:53,925 --> 00:33:56,325 -I am the Supreme Archangel. -Duty officer. 594 00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,085 -[Michael] And I-- -Excuse me, I'm sorry, 595 00:33:58,165 --> 00:34:00,165 I must interrupt you there. 596 00:34:00,725 --> 00:34:01,885 Um... 597 00:34:01,965 --> 00:34:04,525 Oh, and I've brought over a coffee. 598 00:34:04,605 --> 00:34:06,965 I don't believe I asked for any interruptions. 599 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,565 I couldn't help it. You're talking utter balderdash. 600 00:34:10,644 --> 00:34:12,164 I mean, complete piffle! 601 00:34:12,965 --> 00:34:15,805 You don't have the authority to do anything like that. 602 00:34:15,885 --> 00:34:17,845 Um, and who are you? 603 00:34:18,605 --> 00:34:20,164 For Heaven's sake. 604 00:34:20,845 --> 00:34:24,085 And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? 605 00:34:24,925 --> 00:34:28,644 Well, uh, what about you, Demon? Do you know me? 606 00:34:28,765 --> 00:34:31,285 -Get him out of here! -[Metatron] Really? 607 00:34:31,365 --> 00:34:32,765 [Crowley] Oh, I know you. 608 00:34:32,845 --> 00:34:36,164 Last time I saw you, you were a big, floating giant head, man. 609 00:34:36,965 --> 00:34:37,965 Oh! 610 00:34:38,845 --> 00:34:39,885 The Metatron. 611 00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:41,125 -[all gasp] -[Metatron] Correct! 612 00:34:41,164 --> 00:34:43,605 This calls much less attention, though. 613 00:34:44,325 --> 00:34:48,045 Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. 614 00:34:48,605 --> 00:34:50,925 Ah-ah-ah! Not you. 615 00:34:51,644 --> 00:34:55,164 Um... Your... Your Reverence, your... 616 00:34:55,925 --> 00:34:58,085 -You Grace, your... -Oh, come on, spit it out. 617 00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:01,045 Have we done anything wrong? 618 00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:04,885 Well, that remains to be seen, does it not? 619 00:35:06,285 --> 00:35:08,485 Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you! 620 00:35:08,565 --> 00:35:11,445 Except the dim one. 621 00:35:11,525 --> 00:35:13,445 I may need you. 622 00:35:18,685 --> 00:35:19,685 Right. 623 00:35:20,765 --> 00:35:23,685 It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh? 624 00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:27,645 I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, 625 00:35:28,565 --> 00:35:29,805 don't you? 626 00:35:29,885 --> 00:35:32,125 I don't believe there's anything left to be said. 627 00:35:32,165 --> 00:35:33,965 I've made my position quite clear. 628 00:35:34,045 --> 00:35:36,125 Yeah, well, I brought you a coffee from the shop. 629 00:35:36,165 --> 00:35:38,965 It's an oat milk latte 630 00:35:39,045 --> 00:35:41,885 with a hefty jigger of almond syrup. 631 00:35:43,125 --> 00:35:45,885 -You brought me a coffee? -Are you going to take it? 632 00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:51,485 -Shall I? -Drink it? 633 00:35:52,325 --> 00:35:53,325 Of course. 634 00:35:54,005 --> 00:35:57,045 I've ingested things in my time, you know. 635 00:35:58,085 --> 00:36:00,765 It's... It's very nice. 636 00:36:00,845 --> 00:36:02,845 Yes, I should jolly well hope so. 637 00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:05,925 Well, we have things to talk about. 638 00:36:06,005 --> 00:36:08,125 Shall we take a little stroll? 639 00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:09,165 Um... 640 00:36:09,765 --> 00:36:12,085 Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder. 641 00:36:15,165 --> 00:36:17,685 [tense music playing] 642 00:36:20,005 --> 00:36:21,005 [sighs] 643 00:36:21,645 --> 00:36:23,125 [door opens] 644 00:36:31,045 --> 00:36:32,045 Oh. 645 00:36:33,165 --> 00:36:34,645 You should leave now too. 646 00:36:35,885 --> 00:36:38,045 The Metatron told me to wait. 647 00:36:38,965 --> 00:36:40,805 He said he might need me. 648 00:36:40,885 --> 00:36:43,165 Me! [chuckles] He might need me. 649 00:36:43,845 --> 00:36:45,645 Marvelous. Have a gold star. 650 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:48,605 -They'll be back soon. -Yes. 651 00:36:48,645 --> 00:36:52,165 When Aziraphale does come back, I think we need a little us time. 652 00:36:52,965 --> 00:36:56,485 After all this, I think we are going for 653 00:36:57,165 --> 00:37:01,845 an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz. 654 00:37:01,925 --> 00:37:04,045 Brilliant idea! [laughs] 655 00:37:04,125 --> 00:37:06,165 Breakfast. Us time. 656 00:37:06,285 --> 00:37:08,165 Just us. Not you. 657 00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:12,325 Oh. [laughs] Oh, right, yes. 658 00:37:12,405 --> 00:37:14,805 I can, um, explore the bookshop. 659 00:37:14,885 --> 00:37:16,485 [sighs] 660 00:37:16,565 --> 00:37:19,125 [Crowley] Um... you need to go. 661 00:37:20,445 --> 00:37:23,085 Can I... Can I take a book with me? 662 00:37:23,165 --> 00:37:25,325 I was looking at one earlier. 663 00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:27,485 They're like people, only portable. 664 00:37:29,525 --> 00:37:31,645 Go for it. Here, you'll like this one. 665 00:37:33,165 --> 00:37:35,765 -No, it won't do any good. -It doesn't matter. 666 00:37:35,845 --> 00:37:37,685 -We have to tell them. -[scoffs] 667 00:37:39,005 --> 00:37:40,045 Fine. 668 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,445 Anyone wants anything, tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes. 669 00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:44,285 Okay. 670 00:37:46,085 --> 00:37:47,685 [soft music playing] 671 00:37:48,685 --> 00:37:49,685 [snaps fingers] 672 00:38:08,165 --> 00:38:09,645 [sighs] 673 00:38:18,165 --> 00:38:19,165 Tidied up. 674 00:38:19,805 --> 00:38:21,805 Where's the other one? We need to talk to you. 675 00:38:21,885 --> 00:38:25,045 -He's out. Not a good time. -[Nina] I wasn't asking. 676 00:38:25,125 --> 00:38:26,485 There are things you need to hear. 677 00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:30,605 You and your... partner have been messing about in our lives. 678 00:38:31,205 --> 00:38:33,405 We're not a game. We're real people. 679 00:38:33,485 --> 00:38:36,165 You can't just pair us up for your amusement. 680 00:38:36,285 --> 00:38:39,405 [mumbles] You were crying and Nina needed rescuing and-- 681 00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:41,005 My relationship just ended. 682 00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:43,005 I am not ready to start another one yet. 683 00:38:43,645 --> 00:38:45,325 I'd just be a rebound mess. 684 00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:46,965 I can't start seeing Maggie. 685 00:38:47,885 --> 00:38:51,685 When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there, but there isn't any guarantee. 686 00:38:51,805 --> 00:38:53,765 -There is. -You're not helping, angel. 687 00:38:54,845 --> 00:38:55,845 Look at you two. 688 00:38:56,205 --> 00:38:59,485 You're the hard bitten one, the can't trust anyone ever again, 689 00:38:59,565 --> 00:39:02,645 and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one who still believes in magic 690 00:39:02,765 --> 00:39:04,605 and people being basically good and all that. 691 00:39:05,205 --> 00:39:07,405 Why are you telling me all this? I don't understand. 692 00:39:07,485 --> 00:39:09,165 That's why she's telling you. 693 00:39:09,205 --> 00:39:10,965 Because you don't understand. 694 00:39:11,925 --> 00:39:15,365 Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other. 695 00:39:15,445 --> 00:39:17,005 We talk all the time! 696 00:39:17,085 --> 00:39:19,645 We've been talking for millions of years. 697 00:39:19,685 --> 00:39:22,605 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. 698 00:39:22,645 --> 00:39:24,565 I say something brilliant, he says something 699 00:39:24,645 --> 00:39:26,405 unintentionally funny back. It's great. 700 00:39:26,485 --> 00:39:28,965 You never say what you're really thinking. 701 00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:31,285 That was all we needed. 702 00:39:32,085 --> 00:39:33,845 It's what you two need as well. 703 00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:39,165 Well, you don't have to answer immediately. 704 00:39:39,205 --> 00:39:41,645 Take all the time you need. 705 00:39:41,685 --> 00:39:43,645 I... I don't know what to say. 706 00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:47,645 Well then, go and tell your friend the good news. 707 00:39:51,645 --> 00:39:53,365 [soft music playing] 708 00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:03,485 -We're just going. -I'm sure you two have a lot to say. 709 00:40:24,045 --> 00:40:26,165 What's that you're holding, Muriel? 710 00:40:28,365 --> 00:40:29,525 A book. 711 00:40:29,605 --> 00:40:31,285 It's called a book. 712 00:40:31,365 --> 00:40:33,885 I'm "reading" a book. 713 00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,365 Excellent! 714 00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:38,485 What a perfectly splendid thing to do! 715 00:40:39,765 --> 00:40:41,125 Is it? 716 00:40:41,165 --> 00:40:44,445 Oh. [laughs] Yes. Jolly good. 717 00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,885 Look, I suppose, um... 718 00:40:50,965 --> 00:40:52,125 I've got something to say. 719 00:40:52,165 --> 00:40:54,165 I know we ought to be talking about... 720 00:40:54,205 --> 00:40:55,965 It's probably best if I start off doing all the talking, 721 00:40:56,045 --> 00:40:58,045 you do all the listening, 'cause if I don't start talking now, 722 00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,805 I won't ever start talking, right? 723 00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:01,765 -Yes, so-- -What's that lovely human expression? 724 00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:04,325 Oh, yes! Hold that thought. [chuckles] 725 00:41:04,405 --> 00:41:05,685 You see, I... 726 00:41:05,805 --> 00:41:08,565 I have some incredibly good news to give you. 727 00:41:08,645 --> 00:41:10,925 -Really? -I... um... 728 00:41:12,165 --> 00:41:14,645 So, um... 729 00:41:14,685 --> 00:41:17,605 the Metatron, you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow-- 730 00:41:17,645 --> 00:41:19,965 Well, I think I might've misjudged him. 731 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:24,925 You see, I-- Well, he said, um, 732 00:41:25,005 --> 00:41:26,805 that Gabriel 733 00:41:26,885 --> 00:41:29,085 obviously hadn't worked out... [laughs] 734 00:41:29,165 --> 00:41:32,645 as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, 735 00:41:32,685 --> 00:41:35,285 and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven 736 00:41:35,365 --> 00:41:36,845 now that Gabriel was gone. 737 00:41:36,925 --> 00:41:37,925 And I said... 738 00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:42,205 -Michael? -Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no. 739 00:41:42,325 --> 00:41:46,205 There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense. 740 00:41:47,885 --> 00:41:49,285 And that's you. 741 00:41:49,365 --> 00:41:51,845 And I said, "Me?" 742 00:41:52,445 --> 00:41:53,445 And he said... 743 00:41:53,525 --> 00:41:55,365 Well, yes. You're a leader, 744 00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:58,605 you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear. 745 00:41:58,645 --> 00:42:02,965 It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. 746 00:42:03,565 --> 00:42:07,405 There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, 747 00:42:08,045 --> 00:42:10,325 and I will need you to run them. 748 00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:13,165 You are just the angel for the job. 749 00:42:14,925 --> 00:42:17,605 I... I don't want to go back to Heaven. 750 00:42:19,205 --> 00:42:21,085 Where would I get my coffee? 751 00:42:21,165 --> 00:42:24,045 You know, as Supreme Archangel, 752 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:27,485 you would be able to decide who to work with. 753 00:42:28,205 --> 00:42:31,165 Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your... 754 00:42:31,285 --> 00:42:34,405 previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them 755 00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:37,405 you formed a de facto partnership 756 00:42:38,165 --> 00:42:39,765 with the demon Crowley. 757 00:42:39,845 --> 00:42:42,965 Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that... 758 00:42:43,805 --> 00:42:45,685 might be considered irregular, 759 00:42:45,805 --> 00:42:48,885 but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction 760 00:42:49,565 --> 00:42:52,805 to restore your friend, Crowley, 761 00:42:53,525 --> 00:42:56,605 to full angelic status. 762 00:42:56,645 --> 00:42:57,765 He said what? 763 00:42:58,525 --> 00:43:00,005 He said I could appoint you 764 00:43:00,885 --> 00:43:02,005 to be an angel. 765 00:43:02,805 --> 00:43:06,325 You could come back to Heaven and... 766 00:43:07,165 --> 00:43:08,485 and everything, 767 00:43:09,205 --> 00:43:10,605 like the old times. 768 00:43:11,565 --> 00:43:13,605 Only, even nicer. 769 00:43:14,845 --> 00:43:15,845 Right. 770 00:43:17,285 --> 00:43:19,525 And you told him just where he could stick it, then? 771 00:43:22,525 --> 00:43:23,685 Not at all. 772 00:43:23,805 --> 00:43:27,045 Oh, we're better than that, you're better than that, Angel! 773 00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:29,165 You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! 774 00:43:29,285 --> 00:43:31,605 Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. 775 00:43:31,645 --> 00:43:33,925 I'm not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you. 776 00:43:34,005 --> 00:43:35,805 But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, 777 00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:36,925 you're the bad guys. 778 00:43:38,005 --> 00:43:39,005 But Heaven... 779 00:43:40,205 --> 00:43:43,565 Well, it's the side of truth, of light, 780 00:43:44,685 --> 00:43:45,805 of good. 781 00:43:48,285 --> 00:43:50,365 When Heaven ends life here on Earth, 782 00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:52,805 it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. 783 00:43:55,445 --> 00:43:57,205 Tell me you said no. 784 00:44:03,925 --> 00:44:05,525 Tell me you said no. 785 00:44:06,445 --> 00:44:07,885 If I'm in charge... 786 00:44:09,405 --> 00:44:10,845 I can make a difference. 787 00:44:12,245 --> 00:44:13,405 Oh. 788 00:44:14,205 --> 00:44:15,965 Oh, God. Right, okay. 789 00:44:16,045 --> 00:44:17,765 Right. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say, 790 00:44:17,845 --> 00:44:18,965 I think I'd better say it now 791 00:44:19,045 --> 00:44:21,405 Right, okay, yes, so... 792 00:44:22,685 --> 00:44:23,725 [sighs] 793 00:44:25,805 --> 00:44:27,365 We've known each other a long time. 794 00:44:28,205 --> 00:44:30,685 We've been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. 795 00:44:32,805 --> 00:44:34,245 I could always rely on you. 796 00:44:35,445 --> 00:44:37,685 You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. 797 00:44:38,485 --> 00:44:39,565 Group of the two of us. 798 00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:43,805 And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. 799 00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,965 I mean, the last few years, not really. 800 00:44:55,245 --> 00:44:57,325 And I would like to spend... [grunts] 801 00:44:59,565 --> 00:45:01,525 I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub 802 00:45:02,485 --> 00:45:05,045 can do it, go off together, then we can. 803 00:45:06,165 --> 00:45:08,325 Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, 804 00:45:08,405 --> 00:45:10,565 we don't need Hell, they're toxic. 805 00:45:10,645 --> 00:45:13,645 We need to get away from them, just be an us. 806 00:45:14,405 --> 00:45:16,805 -You and me, what do you say? -Come with me... 807 00:45:18,205 --> 00:45:21,365 to Heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. 808 00:45:22,445 --> 00:45:23,885 We can make a difference. 809 00:45:25,045 --> 00:45:26,925 You can't leave this bookshop. 810 00:45:28,485 --> 00:45:30,125 Oh, Crowley. 811 00:45:32,125 --> 00:45:33,685 Nothing lasts forever. 812 00:45:37,045 --> 00:45:38,045 No. 813 00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:42,525 No, I don't suppose it does. 814 00:45:46,245 --> 00:45:47,245 Good luck. 815 00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,405 Good luck? Crowley! 816 00:45:50,485 --> 00:45:51,845 Crowley, come back, 817 00:45:52,645 --> 00:45:53,645 to Heaven! 818 00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,405 Work with me! 819 00:45:58,365 --> 00:45:59,565 We can be together! 820 00:45:59,645 --> 00:46:01,165 Angels... 821 00:46:02,405 --> 00:46:03,685 doing good! 822 00:46:03,765 --> 00:46:05,205 [somber music playing] 823 00:46:06,605 --> 00:46:08,205 I... I need you! 824 00:46:13,365 --> 00:46:15,325 I don't think you understand what I'm offering you. 825 00:46:15,405 --> 00:46:16,685 I understand. 826 00:46:19,045 --> 00:46:20,805 I think I understand a whole lot better than you do. 827 00:46:23,085 --> 00:46:24,085 Well... 828 00:46:25,725 --> 00:46:27,045 then there's nothing more to say. 829 00:46:30,045 --> 00:46:31,045 Listen. 830 00:46:31,965 --> 00:46:32,965 Do you hear that? 831 00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:36,365 I don't hear anything. 832 00:46:37,845 --> 00:46:38,845 That's the point. 833 00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:41,445 No nightingales. 834 00:46:42,365 --> 00:46:44,005 [melancholy music playing] 835 00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:46,445 You idiot. 836 00:46:46,525 --> 00:46:49,205 We could have been... us. 837 00:46:53,365 --> 00:46:55,485 [music intensifies] 838 00:47:13,685 --> 00:47:14,685 I... 839 00:47:19,085 --> 00:47:20,365 I forgive you. 840 00:47:21,805 --> 00:47:22,885 [sighs] 841 00:47:25,525 --> 00:47:26,525 [Crowley] Don't bother. 842 00:47:30,125 --> 00:47:31,805 [melancholy music] 843 00:47:32,605 --> 00:47:33,605 [door shuts] 844 00:47:46,965 --> 00:47:48,205 How did he take it? 845 00:47:50,245 --> 00:47:52,325 Um, not well. [giggles] 846 00:47:52,405 --> 00:47:55,365 Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. 847 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:59,085 Always asking damn fool questions, too. 848 00:47:59,165 --> 00:48:01,245 Right, ready to start? 849 00:48:03,245 --> 00:48:04,245 I... 850 00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:06,845 But, um... 851 00:48:08,605 --> 00:48:09,605 my bookshop. 852 00:48:10,245 --> 00:48:12,485 Yes, well, for now 853 00:48:12,565 --> 00:48:14,965 I've entrusted it to Muriel, 854 00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:16,965 so it should be in good hands. 855 00:48:18,685 --> 00:48:19,765 But... 856 00:48:19,845 --> 00:48:22,845 Anything you need to take with you? 857 00:48:26,725 --> 00:48:27,725 No. 858 00:48:28,565 --> 00:48:29,805 Nothing I can think of. 859 00:48:30,965 --> 00:48:31,965 [Metatron] Ah. 860 00:48:36,325 --> 00:48:37,325 I think I... 861 00:48:46,565 --> 00:48:48,405 -Nothing at all. [giggles] -[door opens] 862 00:48:54,285 --> 00:48:57,005 [Metatron] Well, I can't think of a better angel 863 00:48:57,085 --> 00:48:58,805 to wrap things up, 864 00:48:58,885 --> 00:49:00,805 and to set into motion 865 00:49:00,885 --> 00:49:03,605 the next step in the great plan. 866 00:49:03,685 --> 00:49:05,845 Um, yes, you mentioned that. 867 00:49:05,925 --> 00:49:07,445 Can I know what it is? 868 00:49:07,525 --> 00:49:11,005 Well, it's something we need an angel of your talents to direct. 869 00:49:11,085 --> 00:49:14,965 An angel who is familiar with how they do things on Earth. 870 00:49:15,045 --> 00:49:17,725 -Ah. -We call it the Second Coming. 871 00:49:17,805 --> 00:49:19,525 [dramatic music] 872 00:49:41,325 --> 00:49:42,365 [sighs] 873 00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:47,885 [automated voice] Doors closing. Going up. 874 00:49:55,845 --> 00:49:58,085 [melancholy music playing] 875 00:50:13,645 --> 00:50:15,205 [car engine starts] 876 00:50:15,285 --> 00:50:16,845 ["A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" by Michael Bublé playing] 877 00:50:16,925 --> 00:50:21,085 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 878 00:50:21,165 --> 00:50:25,725 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 879 00:50:28,605 --> 00:50:29,885 [music stops] 880 00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:33,805 [melancholy music playing] 881 00:51:49,005 --> 00:51:50,765 [music continues]