1 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,645 You should know why you're about to die. 2 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,365 God has abandoned you. 3 00:00:19,165 --> 00:00:21,045 The God who claims to love you, 4 00:00:22,325 --> 00:00:23,765 who demands your praise, 5 00:00:24,645 --> 00:00:26,805 has given you up to be destroyed. 6 00:00:27,365 --> 00:00:29,125 -[bleating] -Bad luck. 7 00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:32,005 Shall we begin? 8 00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:44,565 [Aziraphale] Stay your hand, Demon! 9 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,685 Despised tool of Satan, 10 00:00:46,765 --> 00:00:48,845 in the name of Almighty God! 11 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,405 Avaunt! 12 00:00:51,605 --> 00:00:52,485 Oh... 13 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,685 It's you. Dear me. 14 00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:00,085 Haven't seen you since... 15 00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:04,005 -the flood? -Ah, yeah. Mm-hmm. 16 00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:05,965 Well, sorry about this. 17 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:07,685 -No, of course. -[clears throat] 18 00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:10,485 [Aziraphale sighs] 19 00:01:11,885 --> 00:01:14,085 Oh God. Where was I? 20 00:01:14,165 --> 00:01:15,445 -"Avaunt". -Yes, yes. 21 00:01:16,205 --> 00:01:19,285 Avaunt, foul demon! 22 00:01:19,365 --> 00:01:23,765 In the name of the Almighty, I command thee, begone! 23 00:01:23,845 --> 00:01:24,725 No. 24 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,645 No? 25 00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,565 No, thank you. See, I have a permit. 26 00:01:30,645 --> 00:01:33,605 A permit? From whom? 27 00:01:34,085 --> 00:01:36,165 -From God. -Oh... 28 00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:38,725 You see, it's not that I mind jokes. 29 00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:41,645 Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no jokes. 30 00:01:41,725 --> 00:01:44,965 -These goats belong to Job, right? -Yes, Job. 31 00:01:45,044 --> 00:01:50,245 Who is, I might add, a particular favorite of God, so... 32 00:01:58,445 --> 00:01:59,325 [Crowley] Shall I summarize? 33 00:02:00,365 --> 00:02:02,725 Satan and his diabolical ministers 34 00:02:03,605 --> 00:02:06,125 may destroy everything Job owns, no questions asked. 35 00:02:06,205 --> 00:02:07,245 Hugs and kisses, God. 36 00:02:07,325 --> 00:02:08,365 No! 37 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,005 This can't be real! 38 00:02:11,485 --> 00:02:14,885 Job is a... good and... righteous man. 39 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,885 I mean, he really is an absolute poppet. 40 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:25,365 Well, I am a demon. Maybe I'm lying. 41 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:27,605 Tell you what, let's find out. 42 00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:41,005 Seems legit to me! 43 00:02:42,685 --> 00:02:44,405 [humming] 44 00:02:45,005 --> 00:02:48,645 So, sealed by our marks of hand and hoof. 45 00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:50,205 Amen! 46 00:02:50,285 --> 00:02:52,365 Yep, that's all fine! 47 00:02:52,445 --> 00:02:53,925 Good heavens. 48 00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:58,645 -What did he do? -Job? Nothing. 49 00:02:58,725 --> 00:03:00,765 Job's the nicest man in the world. 50 00:03:00,845 --> 00:03:03,005 That's why he's so perfect for the bet. 51 00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:06,005 -The bet? -[Muriel] Yep. 52 00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,485 You see, God was saying how righteous Job was 53 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:10,845 and how much Job loved God. 54 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,005 -And Satan pointed out-- -Sorry, so Satan? 55 00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:16,725 Mm-hmm, that maybe that was just 'cause God's been so nice to him. 56 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:19,245 Anyway, long story short, 57 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,845 God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has. 58 00:03:21,925 --> 00:03:23,725 -And then we'll see. -Oh. 59 00:03:24,525 --> 00:03:28,084 -So just his worldly goods. -Exactly. 60 00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:30,084 Oh, nothing important, no. 61 00:03:30,165 --> 00:03:33,245 Just his farm, his camels, his goat, 62 00:03:33,325 --> 00:03:36,765 -his oxen, his children, his geese-- -His what? 63 00:03:37,405 --> 00:03:41,045 His geese. You know, big cross ducks. 64 00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:42,845 His children? 65 00:03:46,165 --> 00:03:47,285 Oh! 66 00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:51,205 Oh, I see. Well, oh well, that's alright then. 67 00:03:51,285 --> 00:03:52,325 Of course it is. 68 00:03:52,405 --> 00:03:55,925 Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always. 69 00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:57,245 Of course, of course. 70 00:03:57,325 --> 00:04:00,445 So, once Job's trials are over, 71 00:04:00,525 --> 00:04:02,845 um, everything is restored to him? 72 00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:04,805 Even better than that. 73 00:04:04,885 --> 00:04:09,125 God will reward him with twice as much as he had before. 74 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,765 Oh, praise be. 75 00:04:10,845 --> 00:04:13,245 Twice the oxen, twice the goats, twice the children. 76 00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:14,445 Twice the... twice the children? 77 00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:18,245 Yes, of course. How many does he have now, three? 78 00:04:18,964 --> 00:04:22,205 -So, he'll get six! -Uh, probably... seven. 79 00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:23,485 You know how God likes sevens. 80 00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:26,365 -[laughs] -Right. Gosh, um... 81 00:04:27,205 --> 00:04:29,245 The only thing is, um... 82 00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:32,525 Well... Sitis is 58. 83 00:04:33,765 --> 00:04:35,365 I, I don't know how familiar you are 84 00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:39,925 with the um, the human... birth process. 85 00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:41,805 Pretty familiar actually, 86 00:04:41,885 --> 00:04:46,005 seeing as how I personally witnessed the very first human birth. 87 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,085 Yes, yes of course. 88 00:04:47,164 --> 00:04:50,045 Although perhaps Eve's birth 89 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:54,605 wasn't an entirely typical um... Anyway. 90 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:55,925 Um, I only meant, 91 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,725 are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times? 92 00:04:59,805 --> 00:05:01,685 Seven more times. 93 00:05:01,765 --> 00:05:04,005 But, well, she's already got three children, so... 94 00:05:04,085 --> 00:05:05,885 Yeah, but those ones will be dead. 95 00:05:05,925 --> 00:05:08,165 -Keep up. -[Gabriel laughs] 96 00:05:08,245 --> 00:05:10,525 We're not bringing the old ones back? 97 00:05:10,605 --> 00:05:11,925 Well of course not! 98 00:05:12,525 --> 00:05:14,325 But we're giving them new ones. 99 00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:17,365 I think they quite like the old ones. 100 00:05:18,925 --> 00:05:22,245 -And, and if... if we kill them. -Aziraphale... 101 00:05:23,045 --> 00:05:24,525 we are the good guys. 102 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:26,805 Okay? We're not killing anyone. 103 00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:30,885 What we are doing is simply not stopping hell. 104 00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:34,045 What they do is up to them. 105 00:05:50,365 --> 00:05:51,885 What comes after K? 106 00:05:52,605 --> 00:05:53,485 Ah, you startled me. 107 00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:56,565 -Is that good? -I just didn't see you coming. 108 00:05:56,645 --> 00:05:57,725 Right. 109 00:05:57,805 --> 00:06:00,845 Perhaps you could make a noise when you move around. 110 00:06:01,605 --> 00:06:04,685 -Yes. -After K is L. 111 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,845 But look, what exactly are you doing? 112 00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:09,485 Oh, I thought I'd make the books easier to find, 113 00:06:09,565 --> 00:06:11,605 so I thought if I put them in alphabetical order. 114 00:06:11,685 --> 00:06:14,725 Alphabetical... by author? 115 00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:16,925 What's "author"? 116 00:06:17,005 --> 00:06:19,485 No, I was shelving the books 117 00:06:19,565 --> 00:06:22,405 by the first letter of the first sentence. 118 00:06:23,045 --> 00:06:24,845 But no-one would ever-- Jolly good. Good idea. 119 00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,205 Thank you, Jim. Carry on. 120 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,325 And now I will make a noise when I move around. 121 00:06:29,405 --> 00:06:30,285 Right. 122 00:06:32,565 --> 00:06:34,685 [makes creaky noise] 123 00:06:34,765 --> 00:06:36,085 Not that. 124 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,765 -[makes groaning sound] -Or that. 125 00:06:44,245 --> 00:06:48,605 [singing] ♪ Every day It's a getting closer ♪ 126 00:06:48,685 --> 00:06:52,205 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 127 00:06:53,405 --> 00:06:58,525 ♪ A love like yours will Surely come my way ♪ 128 00:06:58,605 --> 00:06:59,485 ♪ A-hey... ♪ 129 00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:01,325 What are you singing? 130 00:07:02,925 --> 00:07:04,965 Am I singing? Err... 131 00:07:06,205 --> 00:07:08,565 ♪ A-hey, a-hey... ♪ 132 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,165 I guess I was. [laughs] 133 00:07:10,845 --> 00:07:12,365 Perhaps I made it up. 134 00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:16,685 "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." 135 00:07:16,765 --> 00:07:18,725 That goes under I. 136 00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,205 You're in trouble. 137 00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:42,485 Obviously. 138 00:07:43,164 --> 00:07:46,365 Former Demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. 139 00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:48,485 How will our hero cope? 140 00:07:49,005 --> 00:07:51,885 -Are you making fun of me? -Would you know if I was? 141 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:54,164 Mind if I come in? 142 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:59,045 -Gabriel has disappeared. -So I understand. 143 00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,805 I've spoke with Beelzebub, 144 00:08:01,885 --> 00:08:04,845 and we believe Aziraphale has something to do with it. 145 00:08:04,925 --> 00:08:06,565 Yeah, that sounds unlikely. 146 00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:09,685 A miracle of enormous power happened last night. 147 00:08:09,765 --> 00:08:11,405 The kind of miracle 148 00:08:11,485 --> 00:08:15,085 only the mightiest of archangels could've performed. 149 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,525 Mm? 150 00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,565 Somewhere very close to your friend's bookshop. 151 00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:22,245 Are you telling me you don't know what caused it? 152 00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:23,845 How'd you know I didn't do it? 153 00:08:25,165 --> 00:08:27,805 Help us, and we will be grateful. 154 00:08:29,485 --> 00:08:30,805 And otherwise, 155 00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:33,205 you'll be disliked by Heaven, 156 00:08:33,285 --> 00:08:35,765 hunted and eliminated by Hell. 157 00:08:37,525 --> 00:08:39,005 [engine starts] 158 00:08:40,164 --> 00:08:42,885 So you do understand I'm threatening you? 159 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:57,045 [theme music plays] 160 00:10:23,605 --> 00:10:25,405 Ah, Maggie! 161 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,365 You know music. 162 00:10:27,445 --> 00:10:30,365 What can you tell me about a song that goes: 163 00:10:30,445 --> 00:10:35,165 [sings] ♪ Every day It's a getting stronger ♪ 164 00:10:35,245 --> 00:10:37,645 ♪ Love like that will ♪ 165 00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:40,525 -♪ Surely come my way ♪ -[cries] 166 00:10:40,645 --> 00:10:42,965 Oh. You're crying. 167 00:10:43,045 --> 00:10:46,085 I'm not. [sniffs] 168 00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:47,525 Do you actually think you aren't? Because I-- 169 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,485 Yes, I know I'm crying. It's just a thing you say. 170 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,725 Oh, yes. Of course. 171 00:10:55,445 --> 00:11:00,325 Then may I ask why you... aren't crying? 172 00:11:00,405 --> 00:11:03,485 Well, I'm certainly not crying over her. 173 00:11:06,005 --> 00:11:08,325 [Aziraphale] No, no. Naturally not. 174 00:11:08,405 --> 00:11:10,245 I mean, sure, 175 00:11:10,325 --> 00:11:14,165 it took me months to nerve myself up to even bring her an LP 176 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:16,965 and then absolutely, we got locked in the coffee shop last night 177 00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:19,525 and granted I then made a complete arse of myself, 178 00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:22,005 and she already has a partner! 179 00:11:22,085 --> 00:11:26,205 But apart from that, I'm pretty sure I'm in love. 180 00:11:27,325 --> 00:11:29,765 -Ah... -But she hates me and... 181 00:11:30,645 --> 00:11:32,845 -What am I gonna do? -Um... 182 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,925 Can I get back to you on that? 183 00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:38,565 I think right now I'm a bit out of miracles. 184 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,365 Yeah. Don't worry. I've got it. 185 00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:44,285 And you're quite right, 186 00:11:44,365 --> 00:11:46,805 it's not your job to sort out my doomed love life. 187 00:11:46,885 --> 00:11:50,725 The song is called "Everyday" by Buddy Holly and Norman Petty. 188 00:11:50,805 --> 00:11:53,005 It was the B-side to the "Peggy Sue" single 189 00:11:53,085 --> 00:11:55,005 released on the Coral label in 1957. 190 00:11:55,085 --> 00:11:57,685 Oh. Jolly good. 191 00:11:57,765 --> 00:12:00,725 -Do you have a copy? -Mm. Too many of them. 192 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,125 There's a pub in Edinburgh. 193 00:12:04,205 --> 00:12:06,325 I send them singles for the jukebox, 194 00:12:06,405 --> 00:12:08,605 and they send me back copies of Everyday. 195 00:12:08,685 --> 00:12:12,005 They say every record they play eventually just turns into that song, 196 00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:14,845 which is mad, but they're Scottish, so... 197 00:12:15,845 --> 00:12:17,125 Here. 198 00:12:22,925 --> 00:12:24,645 Oh no. 199 00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:26,245 -No, that's not good at all. -What? 200 00:12:26,325 --> 00:12:29,405 -They're here. Can't you feel them? -Who's here? 201 00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:32,125 And he's there on his own! 202 00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:45,525 Ah. Well, well. 203 00:12:46,245 --> 00:12:48,565 -Fancy meeting you here. -[Michael] Aziraphale! 204 00:12:48,645 --> 00:12:50,285 I think you know why we're here. 205 00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:53,765 -We are looking-- -Greetings! I'm Jim! 206 00:12:53,845 --> 00:12:56,205 It's short for James, but I don't need to keep telling everyone that. 207 00:12:56,285 --> 00:12:58,285 I'm an assistant book seller. 208 00:12:59,085 --> 00:13:00,365 Gabriel. 209 00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:03,645 -Where is Gabriel? -Gabriel? 210 00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:05,725 You know sometimes people call me Gabriel. 211 00:13:06,325 --> 00:13:09,405 -Shall we discuss this inside? -Yes! 212 00:13:12,205 --> 00:13:13,525 By all means. 213 00:13:14,925 --> 00:13:16,765 Would you like to come in? 214 00:13:21,645 --> 00:13:24,125 Hooray! Let the book selling commence! 215 00:13:24,205 --> 00:13:27,645 Uh, Jim, leave these good people alone. 216 00:13:27,725 --> 00:13:29,125 They, they don't want any books. 217 00:13:29,205 --> 00:13:30,645 Well, that's because they haven't tried them. 218 00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:33,165 Books are keen! Let me show you. 219 00:13:34,245 --> 00:13:36,365 Did you think we wouldn't see the plume? 220 00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:39,845 The... The plume? What plume? 221 00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:42,245 The huge plume of miraculous activity. 222 00:13:42,325 --> 00:13:44,845 Last night. From this shop. 223 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,325 Nearly 25 Lazarii. 224 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,205 Don't tell me you did it? 225 00:13:50,285 --> 00:13:52,605 I, I suppose I, um... 226 00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:55,925 I might have done a miracle. 227 00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:59,125 And what was this miracle for, Aziraphale? 228 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,365 Something that powerful must have been important. 229 00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:03,365 These little bendy ones make a neato fan! 230 00:14:03,445 --> 00:14:04,725 It was, um... 231 00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:09,925 Err... Um, love! Yes! 232 00:14:10,005 --> 00:14:12,445 Yes, um, you see, uh... 233 00:14:12,525 --> 00:14:16,365 Maggie, who err, who owns the record shop 234 00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,525 is in love. 235 00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:21,605 It, it's what humans do. 236 00:14:21,685 --> 00:14:24,645 Uh, with Nina, over the road. 237 00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:28,205 And, and Ni-Nina doesn't love her back. 238 00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:30,525 And, um, well, Maggie's my tenant, 239 00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:35,845 so I, um... I did a big, big miracle... 240 00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:41,725 uh, to make it so that she and Nina, err... 241 00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:43,325 fell in love. 242 00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:45,445 -And did it work? -Oh... Yes! Yes. 243 00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:48,485 It, it worked brilliantly, yes. 244 00:14:48,565 --> 00:14:50,285 Head over heels in love. 245 00:14:50,365 --> 00:14:55,405 So the miracle was nothing to do with Gabriel's disappearance then? 246 00:14:57,405 --> 00:14:58,725 Gabriel? 247 00:14:59,885 --> 00:15:04,005 Oh, you mentioned you're looking for Gabriel. 248 00:15:04,085 --> 00:15:06,725 -Did we? -Yes. 249 00:15:07,925 --> 00:15:08,845 Mm! 250 00:15:08,925 --> 00:15:11,325 And see, the big ones can be used as fly swats. 251 00:15:11,405 --> 00:15:13,365 I know what you're thinking, but it's okay, 252 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:16,205 because the beauty part is, it never works. 253 00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:19,925 [fly buzzing] 254 00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:21,365 Don't I... 255 00:15:23,325 --> 00:15:24,805 Don't I know you? 256 00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:26,405 Yes. 257 00:15:28,365 --> 00:15:29,365 You do. 258 00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:33,085 I'm the assistant bookseller. 259 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,525 I opened the door for you. 260 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:40,005 I'll send someone tomorrow morning to log and verify the miracle. 261 00:15:41,365 --> 00:15:45,485 We'll be keeping a very close eye on you, Aziraphale. 262 00:15:46,485 --> 00:15:49,005 That's very, very professional of you. 263 00:15:50,005 --> 00:15:51,645 What... what about me? 264 00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:54,525 Uh, guys, shouldn't you keep a close eye on me too? 265 00:15:57,885 --> 00:15:59,165 They seemed nice. 266 00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:04,605 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly plays] 267 00:16:04,685 --> 00:16:08,245 ♪ Everyday it's gettin' closer ♪ 268 00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:11,605 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 269 00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:13,605 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 270 00:16:13,685 --> 00:16:16,485 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 271 00:16:16,565 --> 00:16:18,645 ♪ A-hey, a-he-hey ♪ 272 00:16:18,725 --> 00:16:22,525 ♪ Everyday, it's a gettin' faster ♪ 273 00:16:22,605 --> 00:16:26,125 ♪ Everyone says: go ahead and ask her ♪ 274 00:16:26,205 --> 00:16:28,245 [fading] ♪ Love like yours will... ♪ 275 00:16:34,765 --> 00:16:37,005 Oh, we're going to the pub! 276 00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:40,445 -You never go to the pub! -We're in the pub now. 277 00:16:40,525 --> 00:16:43,765 -What's wrong with the coffee shop? -Well, that is precisely the point. 278 00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:45,325 Sherry for me please, a large one. 279 00:16:49,405 --> 00:16:50,285 Ah... 280 00:16:52,285 --> 00:16:55,485 Large Talisker, please. And a sherry for Lady Brackney. 281 00:16:56,525 --> 00:16:57,685 Mr. Fell! 282 00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,925 Oh... Hello? 283 00:17:00,365 --> 00:17:03,045 Brown, from Brown's World of Carpets. 284 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:06,205 We met at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association 285 00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:07,844 annual meeting several years ago. 286 00:17:07,925 --> 00:17:09,604 -Of course. -You said back then 287 00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:12,324 that you'd be delighted to host one of our monthly get-togethers. 288 00:17:13,045 --> 00:17:14,005 I did? 289 00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:16,805 Every time I would look into your shop, you'd be closed! 290 00:17:17,405 --> 00:17:20,045 If I was a superstitious man, I would have taken it personally! 291 00:17:20,084 --> 00:17:21,084 -Indeed. -Yes. 292 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,645 So, we all need to talk about the council's proposed 293 00:17:23,725 --> 00:17:26,165 rubbish collection times and the Winter Street Lights campaign. 294 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,045 -Oh, I, I'm afraid that-- -A sherry for you. 295 00:17:29,085 --> 00:17:30,885 Whisky for me... Hello. 296 00:17:30,965 --> 00:17:33,965 Oh, Mr. Fell has just been telling me how much he's looking forward 297 00:17:34,045 --> 00:17:36,285 to hosting our monthly street association get-together. 298 00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:39,205 -Ooh, you astonish me. -So, look, I'll send over all the details, 299 00:17:39,285 --> 00:17:41,805 but Thursday night after closing. 300 00:17:44,685 --> 00:17:47,085 See? This is why I don't go to the pub. 301 00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:48,925 It was your idea! 302 00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:51,085 There's something urgent I need to talk to you about. 303 00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:53,245 Yes, same here. Last night's miracle. 304 00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,085 Right. And we can't talk about it in the café. 305 00:17:55,165 --> 00:17:57,445 -Because? -It's about the woman in the café! 306 00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,285 Her name's Nina. 307 00:17:59,325 --> 00:18:01,205 Maggie in the record shop has a... 308 00:18:02,085 --> 00:18:04,045 pash on her... 309 00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,045 and doesn't know how to conduct a courtship. 310 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,565 We've got a real problem and it's in your bookshop right now! 311 00:18:09,645 --> 00:18:11,165 Same problem. 312 00:18:11,805 --> 00:18:15,045 Our Gabriel miracle last night set off alarms in Heaven. 313 00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:16,965 -Ahh! -They suspect something! 314 00:18:17,045 --> 00:18:20,285 And so, I told them I'd made Nina and Maggie fall in love. 315 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,045 Why? 316 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:24,885 -It was the first thing I could think of. -And they believed you? 317 00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,925 They're sending someone to check. 318 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,165 Great. Do a little miracle, wiggle your fingers about, 319 00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:31,085 Nina falls for Maggie, problem solved. 320 00:18:31,205 --> 00:18:32,565 Ah, miracles don't work like that. 321 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:35,325 So, what are you proposing? 322 00:18:35,445 --> 00:18:37,525 We... fix it. 323 00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:41,805 Nina and Maggie fall in love. Heaven's suspicions are allayed. 324 00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:46,725 You mean like a sudden rainstorm 325 00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,725 forces them together beneath a canopy? 326 00:18:50,525 --> 00:18:52,085 They look into each other's eyes... 327 00:18:52,645 --> 00:18:54,285 And realize they were made for each other? 328 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:59,085 -Sounds a bit unlikely. -No, no, no. No. No. 329 00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:02,325 Get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes, 330 00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:04,205 vavoom, sorted. 331 00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:06,805 I saw it in a Richard Curtis film. 332 00:19:07,925 --> 00:19:10,085 If you're going to invoke fiction, 333 00:19:11,005 --> 00:19:13,445 -you might as well do it properly. -Properly? 334 00:19:14,645 --> 00:19:17,205 -You remember Jane Austen? -Yeah. 335 00:19:17,285 --> 00:19:19,085 I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? 336 00:19:19,205 --> 00:19:21,565 The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. 337 00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:24,205 Brandy smuggler. Master spy. 338 00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:26,205 What a piece of work. 339 00:19:26,285 --> 00:19:28,405 She wrote books. Novels. 340 00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:31,205 -Jane? Austen? -Yes! 341 00:19:33,885 --> 00:19:35,805 Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? 342 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,805 Yes. They were very good. 343 00:19:38,485 --> 00:19:41,565 Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all. 344 00:19:41,645 --> 00:19:42,925 You think you know someone. 345 00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:45,085 -She had balls. -Well. 346 00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:47,005 Cotillion balls. 347 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:50,285 People would gather and do some formal dancing 348 00:19:50,325 --> 00:19:53,005 and then realize they had misunderstood each other 349 00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:55,165 and were actually deeply in love. 350 00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:58,885 -Now that sounds unlikely. -Works every time apparently. 351 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,405 And there's something else, I'll show you the record. 352 00:20:01,485 --> 00:20:03,485 I think it may be... a Clue. 353 00:20:03,565 --> 00:20:05,565 I'm lost. Am I doing a rainstorm? 354 00:20:05,685 --> 00:20:07,645 Come on! I want to show you the Clue! 355 00:20:13,285 --> 00:20:15,445 Whatever you've found out, don't call it a "Clue". 356 00:20:15,525 --> 00:20:16,565 But it is a Clue. 357 00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:18,325 Well, at least don't pronounce the capital letter. 358 00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:20,285 Gabriel was singing this morning, a song. 359 00:20:20,325 --> 00:20:21,445 Wha... what? 360 00:20:21,525 --> 00:20:23,805 Have you ever heard a song that goes, 361 00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:25,805 [singing] ♪ Every day, it's a getting closer? ♪ 362 00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:27,805 -No. -Well, that's what he was singing. 363 00:20:27,885 --> 00:20:29,085 A human song. 364 00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:32,245 And there is an actual mystery associated with that song. 365 00:20:32,325 --> 00:20:34,565 And that is the Clue! Yeah. 366 00:20:35,445 --> 00:20:37,005 Not another word. 367 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,325 Jane Austen. Wrote books too. 368 00:20:49,085 --> 00:20:52,485 You people, I will never get the hang of you lot. 369 00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:55,925 Ah, Jim. Now, tell me. What do you know? 370 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,645 Okay. 371 00:20:58,085 --> 00:20:59,565 "Whaddayaknow." 372 00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:02,005 No, I mean, what's the first thing you remember? 373 00:21:03,165 --> 00:21:06,525 I remember a song I sang this morning. 374 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,325 But where did you hear it? 375 00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:11,445 I heard it this morning. It came out of my mouth. 376 00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:15,005 Oh, and I remember those three nice people that were in the shop just now. 377 00:21:15,805 --> 00:21:17,085 You do? 378 00:21:17,205 --> 00:21:19,645 Yes. They were in the shop, just now. 379 00:21:19,725 --> 00:21:21,885 Ah, you can do better than that. 380 00:21:22,405 --> 00:21:23,965 Come on, think! 381 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:28,165 Think hard! What is the very first thing you remember? 382 00:21:34,645 --> 00:21:37,405 I remember when the morning stars sang together, 383 00:21:37,485 --> 00:21:40,285 and all the Angels of God shouted for joy. 384 00:21:40,325 --> 00:21:43,645 Yes! Oh yes, yes! That's right! 385 00:21:43,725 --> 00:21:44,885 -No... -Keep going! 386 00:21:44,965 --> 00:21:46,325 -I can't. -Yes, you can. 387 00:21:46,445 --> 00:21:47,805 I can't! I can't! 388 00:21:47,885 --> 00:21:49,445 I can't remember those things. 389 00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:52,085 My, my head isn't big enough. Not anymore. 390 00:21:52,165 --> 00:21:54,325 Yes, I, I see. Um... 391 00:21:54,405 --> 00:21:56,165 I'm sorry Jim. 392 00:21:56,805 --> 00:21:58,445 But you've done awfully well. 393 00:21:59,125 --> 00:22:01,125 Have a rest now. 394 00:22:12,445 --> 00:22:17,125 Your boss said that to Job, do you remember? 395 00:22:17,725 --> 00:22:19,205 I most certainly do. 396 00:22:38,285 --> 00:22:41,285 -[Job] My children? -[Crowley] Mmm. 397 00:22:41,365 --> 00:22:44,445 Are they around? Only I need them for a... thing. 398 00:22:45,005 --> 00:22:46,525 I'm not sure. 399 00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:48,325 Sitis will know. 400 00:22:49,765 --> 00:22:52,565 Sorry, you've... you've come at rather a bad time. 401 00:22:52,645 --> 00:22:55,725 Well, yeah, yeah, so I can see. What happened? 402 00:22:55,805 --> 00:22:59,645 God has forsaken me and delivered me to demons. 403 00:22:59,725 --> 00:23:01,805 [Crowley] Oh! You must be furious? 404 00:23:01,885 --> 00:23:03,285 I burn with fury. 405 00:23:03,365 --> 00:23:04,685 Course you do. 406 00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:07,725 After all your devotion to God. 407 00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:09,445 Not at God! 408 00:23:09,525 --> 00:23:11,285 Fury at myself. 409 00:23:11,365 --> 00:23:13,285 Yourself? Why, what have you done? 410 00:23:13,365 --> 00:23:14,365 [Job] I don't know. 411 00:23:14,445 --> 00:23:18,805 And how sunk in sin must I be not only to deserve all this, 412 00:23:18,885 --> 00:23:20,365 but not even to know why. 413 00:23:20,445 --> 00:23:22,125 [Sitis] What is it now? 414 00:23:22,205 --> 00:23:24,005 Ah, Sitis my dear. 415 00:23:24,085 --> 00:23:26,805 This... person was looking for the children. 416 00:23:28,085 --> 00:23:29,485 Why? Who are you? 417 00:23:29,565 --> 00:23:32,405 Just an old friend. Here to offer some comfort. 418 00:23:32,485 --> 00:23:34,085 What 'old friend'? 419 00:23:34,645 --> 00:23:35,805 You tell me. 420 00:23:37,925 --> 00:23:40,725 Oh... Bildad the Shuhite? 421 00:23:41,885 --> 00:23:44,285 Sure. So, the kids. 422 00:23:44,365 --> 00:23:45,565 Where are they? 423 00:23:45,645 --> 00:23:47,205 Oh. Not now Bildad the Shuhite. 424 00:23:47,285 --> 00:23:50,005 Good of you to look in, but we're a tiny bit busy 425 00:23:50,085 --> 00:23:51,125 weathering the wrath of God. 426 00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,125 Well, yeah. 427 00:23:52,205 --> 00:23:54,765 I thought you could do with someone to check up on the kids. 428 00:23:56,285 --> 00:23:57,445 No. 429 00:23:57,525 --> 00:23:58,565 God wouldn't! 430 00:23:59,685 --> 00:24:00,645 Are you sure? 431 00:24:01,765 --> 00:24:04,165 But they've done nothing! They're innocent! 432 00:24:04,245 --> 00:24:05,885 So were the goats. 433 00:24:21,125 --> 00:24:23,885 Mmmm. Nice gaff. 434 00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:25,605 Shame... 435 00:24:27,165 --> 00:24:28,005 Crowley! 436 00:24:28,485 --> 00:24:30,525 You don't have to destroy Job's children. 437 00:24:30,605 --> 00:24:32,925 Last time we met you seemed pretty confident 438 00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:34,845 I couldn't destroy Job's goats. 439 00:24:34,925 --> 00:24:36,765 Yes. I was wrong. 440 00:24:36,845 --> 00:24:40,805 -Technically you can, but-- -Oh, then technically I will. 441 00:24:40,885 --> 00:24:43,165 But you don't have to! That's the point. 442 00:24:43,245 --> 00:24:44,645 Surely the great thing about being a demon 443 00:24:44,725 --> 00:24:46,725 is you can do whatever you want. 444 00:24:46,805 --> 00:24:49,485 -Mm, you sound jealous, angel. -Certainly not. 445 00:24:49,565 --> 00:24:51,965 I get to do what God wants. 446 00:24:52,045 --> 00:24:54,965 Like killing innocent children to win a bet with Satan? 447 00:24:55,045 --> 00:24:57,245 I... I don't think... 448 00:24:58,285 --> 00:25:01,165 -that is what God wants. -Well... 449 00:25:03,005 --> 00:25:05,205 And I don't think you want it either. 450 00:25:05,285 --> 00:25:07,325 What do you know about what I want? 451 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:10,325 -I know you. -You do not know me 452 00:25:11,485 --> 00:25:13,325 I know the angel you were. 453 00:25:13,405 --> 00:25:15,565 The angel you knew is not me. 454 00:25:16,765 --> 00:25:20,045 Then... Then you tell me that you want to do this. 455 00:25:20,605 --> 00:25:23,165 You look me in the eye and tell me. 456 00:25:27,565 --> 00:25:28,845 I want to. 457 00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:34,965 I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, 458 00:25:36,005 --> 00:25:39,685 just as I destroyed his blameless goats. 459 00:25:47,445 --> 00:25:49,045 Then God forgive you. 460 00:26:00,165 --> 00:26:01,325 [goat bleating] 461 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:05,485 [bleating] 462 00:26:08,045 --> 00:26:10,165 [birds bleat] 463 00:26:12,845 --> 00:26:14,285 [bleats] 464 00:26:22,245 --> 00:26:24,765 [goats bleating] 465 00:26:24,845 --> 00:26:25,885 Well? 466 00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:32,165 -[Crowley] You can stop grinning. -[Aziraphale] I'm not grinning. 467 00:26:32,245 --> 00:26:34,005 Doesn't mean we're on the same side. 468 00:26:34,085 --> 00:26:35,325 No! No... 469 00:26:37,525 --> 00:26:39,205 Temporarily not on different sides. 470 00:26:39,885 --> 00:26:41,605 -Just as you say. -[door opens] 471 00:26:43,565 --> 00:26:45,765 Be not afraid! 472 00:26:45,845 --> 00:26:50,045 I am an angel of the Lord thy God. 473 00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,525 Oh. Have you brought the wine Daddy prayed for? 474 00:26:53,205 --> 00:26:56,685 -For the party? -Err, err... No. 475 00:26:56,765 --> 00:26:58,485 I have no wine, child. 476 00:26:59,005 --> 00:27:00,605 -I bring-- -Ennon! 477 00:27:00,685 --> 00:27:03,205 -What is it? -The angels are here. 478 00:27:03,285 --> 00:27:05,165 Just not our usual ones. 479 00:27:05,245 --> 00:27:07,125 And they haven't brought the wine. 480 00:27:08,125 --> 00:27:11,685 Well them you'd better pop off and get it now, hadn't you? 481 00:27:17,245 --> 00:27:19,365 Ooh, he seems nice. 482 00:27:20,965 --> 00:27:23,045 I bring a warning! 483 00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:28,245 Satan has sent a demon to destroy you! 484 00:27:28,325 --> 00:27:30,285 -Tonight! -Don't be silly. 485 00:27:30,365 --> 00:27:31,405 He wouldn't dare. 486 00:27:32,845 --> 00:27:34,325 I'm sorry, Satan? 487 00:27:34,405 --> 00:27:36,485 -Satan wouldn't dare? -Certainly not. 488 00:27:36,565 --> 00:27:38,405 You see, I'm Keziah, daughter of Job. 489 00:27:38,485 --> 00:27:40,445 I'm Ennon, son of Job. 490 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:42,725 And I'm Jemimah! I made this pot! 491 00:27:42,805 --> 00:27:43,925 -Oh. -She did. 492 00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:45,965 But also: daughter of Job. 493 00:27:46,045 --> 00:27:48,165 You know, the Job? 494 00:27:48,245 --> 00:27:51,325 Literally God's favorite human. 495 00:27:51,405 --> 00:27:52,845 Yes, I know who you are. 496 00:27:52,925 --> 00:27:56,085 -You're a funny looking angel. -Aren't I just? 497 00:27:57,685 --> 00:27:59,605 Are you a demon? 498 00:27:59,685 --> 00:28:01,685 Oh, she's good. 499 00:28:01,765 --> 00:28:07,205 Ah... Yes. He is in fact technically a demon. 500 00:28:07,285 --> 00:28:08,325 Spot on. 501 00:28:09,045 --> 00:28:12,525 Sent here to destroy you all! 502 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,205 Ready? 503 00:28:14,285 --> 00:28:15,645 [children scream] 504 00:28:16,485 --> 00:28:17,845 But... you said you wouldn't. 505 00:28:17,925 --> 00:28:20,005 I'm a demon. I lied. Ah! 506 00:28:20,925 --> 00:28:22,445 Can't you save us? 507 00:28:23,405 --> 00:28:26,725 I'm afraid not. He has a permit, you see. 508 00:28:27,725 --> 00:28:30,565 But... be not afraid. 509 00:28:30,645 --> 00:28:32,125 You're perfectly safe. 510 00:28:34,805 --> 00:28:36,525 Are you sure, Angel? 511 00:28:37,205 --> 00:28:39,805 Yes. Quite sure. 512 00:28:45,485 --> 00:28:46,845 [screaming] 513 00:28:52,805 --> 00:28:55,005 What happened? We're in the cellar. 514 00:28:55,085 --> 00:28:56,685 I knew it! 515 00:28:56,765 --> 00:28:58,085 Wind, I assume. 516 00:28:58,885 --> 00:29:00,645 That's what Satan really has planned. 517 00:29:00,725 --> 00:29:03,285 A mighty wind from the wilderness 518 00:29:03,365 --> 00:29:06,005 to smite the mansion and bring it down upon them. 519 00:29:06,085 --> 00:29:08,165 Ooh, aren't you brilliant? 520 00:29:08,245 --> 00:29:12,365 Actually I, I think getting us all in the cellar was very clever. 521 00:29:12,445 --> 00:29:14,485 -Will someone please tell me... -[snaps fingers] 522 00:29:14,565 --> 00:29:15,845 ...what-- 523 00:29:20,765 --> 00:29:22,005 What have you done to him? 524 00:29:22,085 --> 00:29:23,205 This. [snaps fingers] 525 00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:29,565 [laughs] 526 00:29:31,085 --> 00:29:32,245 Can I be a blue one? 527 00:29:34,725 --> 00:29:36,485 It's alright. You haven't annoyed me yet. 528 00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:38,685 But can I be? 529 00:29:40,325 --> 00:29:41,605 Oh. Sure. 530 00:29:59,365 --> 00:30:02,365 Oh. They've started early. 531 00:30:04,725 --> 00:30:06,365 Well... 532 00:30:07,445 --> 00:30:09,045 Might as well get comfortable. 533 00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:17,045 Are you... drinking human wine? 534 00:30:17,725 --> 00:30:18,965 It's the source of drunkenness. 535 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:20,565 Isn't it just? 536 00:30:21,685 --> 00:30:23,045 [Crowley] Mmmm. 537 00:30:25,085 --> 00:30:27,445 Very promising little vineyard. 538 00:30:28,605 --> 00:30:30,925 [wrenching] 539 00:30:31,485 --> 00:30:33,765 Yeah alright, you don't drink. 540 00:30:34,645 --> 00:30:36,125 Try the food, though. 541 00:30:37,245 --> 00:30:38,805 You can't get drunk on food. 542 00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:43,085 Go on. 543 00:30:44,085 --> 00:30:45,445 Have an ox-rib. 544 00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:51,005 Are you trying to tempt me? 545 00:30:51,085 --> 00:30:53,325 Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you? 546 00:30:53,405 --> 00:30:55,365 -Certainly not. -Well, there you are then. 547 00:30:55,445 --> 00:30:56,845 You're free to try the food. 548 00:31:23,805 --> 00:31:24,645 [gasps] 549 00:31:26,325 --> 00:31:27,645 Oh, I say. 550 00:31:35,525 --> 00:31:36,805 Cheers. 551 00:31:50,805 --> 00:31:54,085 Come on! You're a little bit on our side. 552 00:31:54,165 --> 00:31:57,085 Not even the littlest. 553 00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:59,005 [Aziraphale] Well, you're not on Hell's side. 554 00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:03,405 I go along with Hell as far as I can. 555 00:32:04,845 --> 00:32:06,805 So whose side are you on? 556 00:32:06,885 --> 00:32:08,365 My side. 557 00:32:09,285 --> 00:32:10,285 Gosh. 558 00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:12,205 Well, that sounds... 559 00:32:12,685 --> 00:32:14,085 What? 560 00:32:14,605 --> 00:32:15,725 Lonely. 561 00:32:16,525 --> 00:32:18,965 Lonely? No, not lonely. 562 00:32:20,165 --> 00:32:21,525 Whose side are you on? 563 00:32:22,965 --> 00:32:25,245 God's, of course! 564 00:32:25,325 --> 00:32:26,885 Oh, really? 565 00:32:27,565 --> 00:32:29,845 The same God that wants me to whack the kids? 566 00:32:32,485 --> 00:32:33,805 Yes. 567 00:32:35,085 --> 00:32:37,445 -But... -Yeah... 568 00:32:38,285 --> 00:32:40,365 That's just how it started for me. 569 00:32:41,485 --> 00:32:43,285 See you in Hell. 570 00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:52,685 [God's voice muffled] 571 00:32:59,725 --> 00:33:01,125 Oh, my God! 572 00:33:01,205 --> 00:33:02,965 Blasphemy, Angel? That's not like... you. 573 00:33:03,045 --> 00:33:05,805 No, look! Oh... 574 00:33:06,885 --> 00:33:08,085 My God! 575 00:33:09,085 --> 00:33:11,565 [God] Job, if you have questions for me, 576 00:33:11,645 --> 00:33:13,245 I have questions for you. 577 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:15,485 Do you know how I created the earth? 578 00:33:15,565 --> 00:33:18,925 Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth, Job? 579 00:33:19,005 --> 00:33:21,965 Were you there when all the morning stars sang together 580 00:33:22,045 --> 00:33:24,285 and all the angels shouted for joy? 581 00:33:24,365 --> 00:33:25,845 -Is God actually... -I think so. 582 00:33:25,925 --> 00:33:27,205 ...talking to him? 583 00:33:27,285 --> 00:33:29,365 [God continues muffled] 584 00:33:29,445 --> 00:33:32,125 -I don't suppose he's getting any answers. -[Crowley] No. 585 00:33:32,965 --> 00:33:34,925 But just to be able to ask the question. 586 00:33:35,005 --> 00:33:37,365 [God] Do you know the rules of the heavens? 587 00:33:37,445 --> 00:33:40,285 Did you set the constellations in the sky? 588 00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:44,965 Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you? 589 00:33:45,045 --> 00:33:47,605 Did you give wings to peacocks, Job, 590 00:33:47,685 --> 00:33:49,645 or teach the ostrich to run? 591 00:33:55,045 --> 00:33:56,045 What did God say? 592 00:33:57,565 --> 00:34:00,285 Um... I'm not sure. 593 00:34:00,365 --> 00:34:02,125 I didn't understand much. 594 00:34:02,805 --> 00:34:05,045 Things too wonderful for me. 595 00:34:07,765 --> 00:34:10,164 Ostriches came into it. 596 00:34:10,204 --> 00:34:12,485 -Ostriches? -And whales. 597 00:34:13,244 --> 00:34:15,805 God's very proud of the whale. 598 00:34:16,485 --> 00:34:20,885 Went into some detail about... how great whales are. 599 00:34:21,644 --> 00:34:23,085 They explain? 600 00:34:26,085 --> 00:34:27,965 I think the point was, 601 00:34:29,204 --> 00:34:30,885 if you want answers, 602 00:34:33,085 --> 00:34:35,045 come back when you can make a whale. 603 00:34:35,644 --> 00:34:36,565 And the children? 604 00:34:37,644 --> 00:34:40,005 Did They mention the children? 605 00:34:40,085 --> 00:34:41,445 No. 606 00:34:41,525 --> 00:34:42,365 No. 607 00:34:52,965 --> 00:34:54,005 Virtuous Job, 608 00:34:54,765 --> 00:34:55,885 you have passed God's test. 609 00:34:57,365 --> 00:34:58,405 Prepare for your reward. 610 00:34:58,485 --> 00:35:01,525 Behold, where you have lost 300 sheep, 611 00:35:01,605 --> 00:35:04,685 the Lord grants you 600! 612 00:35:04,805 --> 00:35:06,685 [applause] 613 00:35:08,965 --> 00:35:10,125 [Aziraphale] Sorry, sorry. 614 00:35:13,285 --> 00:35:14,645 What do you say? 615 00:35:15,525 --> 00:35:16,885 Thank you? 616 00:35:16,965 --> 00:35:19,965 Well, don't thank me. Thank God! 617 00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:22,485 You want me to thank God for sheep? 618 00:35:23,645 --> 00:35:25,085 Our children. 619 00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:26,885 What about our children? 620 00:35:26,965 --> 00:35:27,845 [Gabriel] Yes, yeah, yes... 621 00:35:27,925 --> 00:35:29,805 I was... I was, I was getting to that! 622 00:35:29,885 --> 00:35:31,045 For Lo, 623 00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:35,165 though your three children are completely dead, 624 00:35:35,205 --> 00:35:40,765 God now grants that you may conceive seven more children! 625 00:35:40,845 --> 00:35:42,925 [applause] 626 00:35:43,005 --> 00:35:45,965 -Our children are dead? -Yeah. 627 00:35:46,685 --> 00:35:48,645 But I loved my children! 628 00:35:48,765 --> 00:35:51,645 I don't... I don't want more children. 629 00:35:51,765 --> 00:35:55,325 If my children are dead, then I will curse God and... 630 00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,365 Whoa! Ho-ho... 631 00:35:57,445 --> 00:36:00,805 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... That never ends well. 632 00:36:00,885 --> 00:36:04,045 Remember me? Bildad the Shuhite? 633 00:36:04,125 --> 00:36:06,285 -Um... -Who is this? 634 00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:10,165 Err, he says he's Bildad the Shuhite? 635 00:36:10,205 --> 00:36:13,165 And so I am. Bildad the Shuhite. 636 00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:14,405 [Job keeps crying] 637 00:36:14,485 --> 00:36:15,845 Need any shoes? 638 00:36:17,325 --> 00:36:20,605 Shuhite of course means from the land of Shua. 639 00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:24,565 -Yes. -Indeed, it does. 640 00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:29,165 Where, as it happens, I am a leading shoemaker. 641 00:36:31,205 --> 00:36:33,205 What, you think they don't wear shoes in Shua? 642 00:36:33,325 --> 00:36:36,485 Yes, well, it would be really useful 643 00:36:36,565 --> 00:36:41,125 if you were an expert on human births? 644 00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:45,205 Then this is your lucky day! 645 00:36:45,325 --> 00:36:48,005 Shoemaking and obstetrics. 646 00:36:48,525 --> 00:36:51,005 Those have always been the twin passions of Bildad the Shuhite. 647 00:36:51,085 --> 00:36:52,485 What seems to be the trouble? 648 00:36:53,005 --> 00:36:55,285 Well, um, Sitis here 649 00:36:55,365 --> 00:36:58,645 has just learned that she is to have lots more children. 650 00:36:58,765 --> 00:37:00,685 Oh! Well! 651 00:37:00,805 --> 00:37:04,365 Let's get started! No need to be shy, Sitis. 652 00:37:04,445 --> 00:37:06,445 I am a professional midwife slash cobbler. 653 00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:09,765 And I'm sure these angelic entities have seen it all before. 654 00:37:09,845 --> 00:37:12,845 Yes, in fact Gabriel here 655 00:37:12,925 --> 00:37:17,605 has personally witnessed childbirth in the Garden of Eden. 656 00:37:17,645 --> 00:37:20,605 -[chuckles] -Have you now? Wow. 657 00:37:21,165 --> 00:37:24,805 Then I'd better be on my toes, under the eyes of an expert. 658 00:37:24,885 --> 00:37:26,885 [laughs] 659 00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:29,165 -Oh... -Ah, um... 660 00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:31,765 [whispers] ...exactly what I say. Trust me. 661 00:37:31,845 --> 00:37:32,965 Um... 662 00:37:34,645 --> 00:37:36,485 Now, good lady, 663 00:37:36,565 --> 00:37:38,565 simply turn to your husband, 664 00:37:39,485 --> 00:37:41,645 reach into his robes... 665 00:37:42,925 --> 00:37:45,165 H-higher. Higher. 666 00:37:45,885 --> 00:37:47,485 Uh, a little higher... 667 00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:51,685 That's it! And pull out three of his ribs. 668 00:37:51,805 --> 00:37:55,085 Oh yeah. Uh, ribs. It's... Don't worry. 669 00:37:55,165 --> 00:37:57,285 It's all part of the process. I've seen this before. 670 00:37:58,685 --> 00:37:59,685 [he groans] 671 00:38:04,005 --> 00:38:07,365 And to complete the process, a simple embrace. 672 00:38:18,365 --> 00:38:19,325 [Job groans] 673 00:38:20,645 --> 00:38:22,285 -Mummy! -Oh! 674 00:38:22,685 --> 00:38:24,365 [applause] 675 00:38:26,765 --> 00:38:29,485 But... they're not babies. 676 00:38:30,285 --> 00:38:31,205 Certainly not. 677 00:38:31,325 --> 00:38:32,645 Was Eve a baby? 678 00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,925 -[Michael] Was she? -No, no. 679 00:38:34,005 --> 00:38:35,405 They can arrive in any size. 680 00:38:36,125 --> 00:38:37,645 Ennon, my boy! 681 00:38:37,685 --> 00:38:39,445 -Ennon? -[Crowley] No, no, no. 682 00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:41,325 Not Ennon, Job. Ennon's gone. 683 00:38:41,405 --> 00:38:43,525 This is your new son. 684 00:38:44,125 --> 00:38:45,845 -But it is-- -A miracle. 685 00:38:47,285 --> 00:38:49,605 It is a miracle that our new son 686 00:38:49,645 --> 00:38:51,645 should look so much like our old son. 687 00:38:51,765 --> 00:38:54,645 -But it is-- -No, Job. Look. 688 00:38:54,685 --> 00:38:58,205 It's not Ennon, it's a new child. 689 00:38:58,325 --> 00:39:02,085 These are all... They're all new children. 690 00:39:02,845 --> 00:39:06,525 No, you're right! It's not Ennon. 691 00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:08,005 Yes, it bloody is. 692 00:39:09,885 --> 00:39:14,325 Aziraphale, are these the new children God promised Job? 693 00:39:17,085 --> 00:39:19,085 They certainly seem to be. 694 00:39:19,165 --> 00:39:21,125 [Michael] No, they certainly ought to be. 695 00:39:21,165 --> 00:39:24,125 But they seem to be his old children. 696 00:39:26,285 --> 00:39:27,645 Aziraphale, who are they? 697 00:39:30,205 --> 00:39:31,165 [Aziraphale] They are... 698 00:39:36,645 --> 00:39:38,165 His new children. 699 00:39:40,005 --> 00:39:43,085 I... You have my word as an angel. 700 00:39:47,085 --> 00:39:49,605 Well, that's alright then. Huh? 701 00:39:49,645 --> 00:39:51,645 Why didn't you just say so? 702 00:39:53,805 --> 00:39:55,525 Congratulations! 703 00:39:56,045 --> 00:39:57,605 [Gabriel laughs] 704 00:40:09,445 --> 00:40:10,285 Crowley? 705 00:40:11,645 --> 00:40:13,125 [Gabriel] He went away. 706 00:40:14,925 --> 00:40:15,845 While you were thinking. 707 00:40:17,085 --> 00:40:20,165 You know, you really used to be... 708 00:40:21,445 --> 00:40:22,405 awful. 709 00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:24,965 I mean, so awful. 710 00:40:27,165 --> 00:40:28,605 Am I awful now? 711 00:40:29,805 --> 00:40:30,925 I don't know. 712 00:40:32,485 --> 00:40:34,085 I hope not. 713 00:40:35,125 --> 00:40:37,565 Oh... Good. 714 00:41:04,645 --> 00:41:07,485 You're the one from yesterday. Struck by lightning. 715 00:41:08,165 --> 00:41:09,565 It looked worse than it was. 716 00:41:09,645 --> 00:41:12,365 Mr. Six Espressos In a Big Cup. 717 00:41:13,645 --> 00:41:17,405 Silly questions, but how do you feel about sudden rain? 718 00:41:17,965 --> 00:41:19,965 Yeah. That's a silly question alright. 719 00:41:20,565 --> 00:41:23,565 No, but in the event of a sudden torrential downpour, 720 00:41:23,645 --> 00:41:26,965 would you be likely to shelter under an awning? 721 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,365 Wow. It-- 722 00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:31,445 It's like you've looked deep into my secret soul. 723 00:41:31,525 --> 00:41:33,045 Well, it's a knack. 724 00:41:33,885 --> 00:41:35,085 For instance... 725 00:41:36,365 --> 00:41:37,925 Oh? Maggie? 726 00:41:38,005 --> 00:41:40,165 Oh, err, no. Not a thing. Definitely. 727 00:41:40,885 --> 00:41:41,765 We're just friends. 728 00:41:41,845 --> 00:41:43,485 Actually, we're not friends. We barely know each other. 729 00:41:43,565 --> 00:41:45,605 We just got trapped in the shop when the power went out. 730 00:41:46,085 --> 00:41:47,925 My partner was not impressed. 731 00:41:49,645 --> 00:41:51,765 Well, not a pleasant evening. That's all. 732 00:41:52,885 --> 00:41:54,005 Gotcha. 733 00:42:00,885 --> 00:42:02,485 Do you need a lift somewhere? 734 00:42:02,565 --> 00:42:03,965 Err, no. Thank you. 735 00:42:04,045 --> 00:42:05,805 I was trying to tell you about this. 736 00:42:06,405 --> 00:42:07,285 My Clue. 737 00:42:07,685 --> 00:42:09,645 -"The Resurrectionist." -Pub. 738 00:42:09,765 --> 00:42:11,165 Has a jukebox. 739 00:42:11,765 --> 00:42:15,845 This record was found on the jukebox. 740 00:42:16,405 --> 00:42:17,205 So what? 741 00:42:17,325 --> 00:42:20,405 So first it wasn't on the jukebox. 742 00:42:20,485 --> 00:42:23,525 It doesn't seem to matter what people in the pub want to listen to, 743 00:42:23,605 --> 00:42:27,325 sooner or later every record turns into this. 744 00:42:27,765 --> 00:42:30,885 It is, as you might say... a miracle. 745 00:42:31,325 --> 00:42:32,285 Ooh. 746 00:42:32,365 --> 00:42:36,565 So, I thought I might pop up there myself 747 00:42:36,645 --> 00:42:38,165 and investigate! 748 00:42:39,445 --> 00:42:41,365 Fair enough. What time's your train? 749 00:42:41,445 --> 00:42:43,445 Actually I rather thought I might take the car. 750 00:42:45,205 --> 00:42:47,885 -What car? -Our car. 751 00:42:49,165 --> 00:42:51,205 -We don't have a car. -Of course we do. 752 00:42:51,885 --> 00:42:53,885 Isn't she a beauty? 753 00:42:53,965 --> 00:42:56,165 This Bentley is my car. 754 00:42:56,285 --> 00:42:58,085 Well, yes, technically. 755 00:42:58,165 --> 00:43:01,325 Just as that bookshop is technically my shop, 756 00:43:01,405 --> 00:43:05,165 but... we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we? 757 00:43:05,205 --> 00:43:06,645 You can't drive my Bentley. 758 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:09,485 No, I can! I have a license, yes. 759 00:43:09,565 --> 00:43:11,685 I passed my driving test 90 years ago. 760 00:43:11,805 --> 00:43:14,405 They didn't even require tests, but I insisted. 761 00:43:14,485 --> 00:43:15,525 No. 762 00:43:15,605 --> 00:43:16,925 Don't worry! 763 00:43:17,805 --> 00:43:20,645 -I'll be very, very careful. -No! 764 00:43:20,685 --> 00:43:24,165 And while I'm gone, you can look after the bookshop. 765 00:43:24,205 --> 00:43:25,845 And Gabriel. 766 00:43:25,925 --> 00:43:27,005 Yes? 767 00:43:29,045 --> 00:43:31,485 [Gabriel] "It was the day my grandmother exploded." 768 00:43:38,125 --> 00:43:41,125 "It is a truth universally acknowledged 769 00:43:41,165 --> 00:43:43,685 that a single man in possession of a good fortune 770 00:43:43,765 --> 00:43:45,765 must be in want of a wife." 771 00:43:47,165 --> 00:43:48,565 Whatever that is. 772 00:44:02,885 --> 00:44:04,445 "It was a nice day." 773 00:44:05,405 --> 00:44:06,445 That's more like it. 774 00:44:32,045 --> 00:44:36,285 Ah. Yes, I thought perhaps they might send you. 775 00:44:39,685 --> 00:44:40,765 Well... 776 00:44:44,285 --> 00:44:45,325 I'm ready to go. 777 00:44:45,925 --> 00:44:48,405 -Go where? -To Hell. 778 00:44:51,445 --> 00:44:53,765 I'm not taking you to Hell, Angel. 779 00:44:55,805 --> 00:44:56,885 Why not? 780 00:44:56,965 --> 00:44:58,885 Well, I don't think you'd like it. 781 00:45:01,165 --> 00:45:02,205 But you have to. 782 00:45:04,845 --> 00:45:06,565 I'm like you now. 783 00:45:07,605 --> 00:45:08,645 A demon. 784 00:45:14,645 --> 00:45:17,365 [laughs] 785 00:45:17,445 --> 00:45:18,685 Sorry. 786 00:45:20,285 --> 00:45:21,805 You think you're a demon? 787 00:45:23,725 --> 00:45:26,285 With your curly little... and your neat white... 788 00:45:26,365 --> 00:45:28,365 I'm a fallen angel! 789 00:45:30,685 --> 00:45:32,245 I lied. 790 00:45:33,165 --> 00:45:35,125 To thwart the will of God. 791 00:45:35,805 --> 00:45:37,525 Well yeah, you did, but... 792 00:45:39,725 --> 00:45:41,125 I'm not gonna tell anybody. 793 00:45:42,045 --> 00:45:43,005 Are you? 794 00:45:47,085 --> 00:45:49,565 No. Then nothing has to change, does it? 795 00:46:12,925 --> 00:46:13,925 But what am I? 796 00:46:15,405 --> 00:46:18,685 You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven 797 00:46:18,765 --> 00:46:20,565 as far as he can. 798 00:46:25,085 --> 00:46:26,485 That sounds, um... 799 00:46:27,845 --> 00:46:28,845 Lonely? 800 00:46:31,405 --> 00:46:32,285 Yeah. 801 00:46:34,005 --> 00:46:35,965 But you said it wasn't. 802 00:46:37,405 --> 00:46:38,325 I'm a demon. 803 00:46:39,725 --> 00:46:40,765 I lied. 804 00:46:50,765 --> 00:46:55,125 [theme music plays]