1
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,640
You should know why you're about to die.
2
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,360
God has abandoned you.
3
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,040
The God who claims to love you,
4
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,760
who demands your praise,
5
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,800
has given you up to be destroyed.
6
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,120
- [bleating]
- Bad luck.
7
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
Shall we begin?
8
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,560
[Aziraphale] Stay your hand, Demon!
9
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,680
Despised tool of Satan,
10
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,840
in the name of Almighty God!
11
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,400
Avaunt!
12
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,600
Oh...
13
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,680
It's you. Dear me.
14
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,080
Haven't seen you since...
15
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,000
- the flood?
- Ah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
16
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,960
Well, sorry about this.
17
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,680
- No, of course.
- [clears throat]
18
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,520
[Aziraphale sighs]
19
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,080
Oh God. Where was I?
20
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,440
- "Avaunt".
- Yes, yes.
21
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,280
Avaunt, foul demon!
22
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,760
In the name of the Almighty,
I command thee, begone!
23
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:24,840
No.
24
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,680
No?
25
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,560
No, thank you. See, I have a permit.
26
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,600
A permit? From whom?
27
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,160
- From God.
- Oh...
28
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,720
You see, it's not that I mind jokes.
29
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,640
Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no jokes.
30
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,960
- These goats belong to Job, right?
- Yes, Job.
31
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:50,240
Who is, I might add, a particular
favorite of God, so...
32
00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,560
[Crowley] Shall I summarize?
33
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,720
Satan and his diabolical ministers
34
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,120
may destroy everything Job owns,
no questions asked.
35
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,240
Hugs and kisses, God.
36
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,360
No!
37
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,000
This can't be real!
38
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,880
Job is a... good and... righteous man.
39
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,880
I mean, he really is an absolute poppet.
40
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,360
Well, I am a demon. Maybe I'm lying.
41
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,800
Tell you what, let's find out.
42
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,000
Seems legit to me!
43
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,400
[humming]
44
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,640
So, sealed by our marks of hand and hoof.
45
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,200
Amen!
46
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,360
Yep, that's all fine!
47
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,920
Good heavens.
48
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,640
- What did he do?
- Job? Nothing.
49
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,760
Job's the nicest man in the world.
50
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,000
That's why he's so perfect for the bet.
51
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,000
- The bet?
- [Muriel] Yep.
52
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,480
You see, God was saying
how righteous Job was
53
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,840
and how much Job loved God.
54
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,000
- And Satan pointed out...
- Sorry, so Satan?
55
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,720
Mm-hmm, that maybe that was just
'cause God's been so nice to him.
56
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,240
Anyway, long story short,
57
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,840
God's letting Satan destroy
everything Job has.
58
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,720
- And then we'll see.
- Oh.
59
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,080
- So just his worldly goods.
- Exactly.
60
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,080
Oh, nothing important, no.
61
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,240
Just his farm, his camels, his goat,
62
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,760
- his oxen, his children, his geese...
- His what?
63
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:41,040
His geese. You know, big cross ducks.
64
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,840
His children?
65
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,280
Oh!
66
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,200
Oh, I see. Well, oh well,
that's alright then.
67
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,320
Of course it is.
68
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,920
Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always.
69
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,240
Of course, of course.
70
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,440
So, once Job's trials are over,
71
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,840
um, everything is restored to him?
72
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,800
Even better than that.
73
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:09,120
God will reward him
with twice as much as he had before.
74
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,760
Oh, praise be.
75
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,240
Twice the oxen, twice the goats,
twice the children.
76
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,600
Twice the... twice the children?
77
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,240
Yes, of course.
How many does he have now, three?
78
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,200
- So, he'll get six!
- Uh, probably... seven.
79
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,480
You know how God likes sevens.
80
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,360
- [laughs]
- Right. Gosh, um...
81
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,240
The only thing is, um...
82
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,520
Well... Sitis is 58.
83
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,360
I, I don't know how familiar you are
84
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,920
with the um, the human... birth process.
85
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,800
Pretty familiar actually,
86
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,000
seeing as how I personally witnessed
the very first human birth.
87
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,080
Yes, yes of course.
88
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,040
Although perhaps Eve's birth
89
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:54,600
wasn't an entirely typical um... Anyway.
90
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,920
Um, I only meant,
91
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,720
are we sure that Sitis wants
to give birth four more times?
92
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,680
Seven more times.
93
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,000
But, well, she's already got
three children, so...
94
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,880
Yeah, but those ones will be dead.
95
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,160
- Keep up.
- [Gabriel laughs]
96
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,520
We're not bringing the old ones back?
97
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,920
Well of course not!
98
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,320
But we're giving them new ones.
99
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,360
I think they quite like the old ones.
100
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,240
- And, and if... if we kill them.
- Aziraphale...
101
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,520
we are the good guys.
102
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,800
Okay? We're not killing anyone.
103
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,880
What we are doing is
simply not stopping hell.
104
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,040
What they do is up to them.
105
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,880
What comes after K?
106
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,600
Ah, you startled me.
107
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,616
- Is that good?
- I just didn't see you coming.
108
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,720
Right.
109
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,840
Perhaps you could make a noise
when you move around.
110
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,680
- Yes.
- After K is L.
111
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,840
But look, what exactly are you doing?
112
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,480
Oh, I thought I'd make
the books easier to find,
113
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,600
so I thought if I put them
in alphabetical order.
114
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,720
Alphabetical... by author?
115
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:16,920
What's "author"?
116
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,480
No, I was shelving the books
117
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,400
by the first letter of the first sentence.
118
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,880
But no-one would ever...
Jolly good. Good idea.
119
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,200
Thank you, Jim. Carry on.
120
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,320
And now I will make a noise
when I move around.
121
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,400
Right.
122
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,680
[makes creaky noise]
123
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,080
Not that.
124
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,760
- [makes groaning sound]
- Or that.
125
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,600
[singing] ♪ Every day
It's a getting closer ♪
126
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,200
♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪
127
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:58,520
♪ A love like yours will
Surely come my way ♪
128
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,600
♪ A-hey... ♪
129
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,320
What are you singing?
130
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,960
Am I singing? Err...
131
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,560
♪ A-hey, a-hey... ♪
132
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,160
I guess I was. [laughs]
133
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,360
Perhaps I made it up.
134
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,680
"It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times."
135
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,720
That goes under I.
136
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,200
You're in trouble.
137
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,480
Obviously.
138
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,360
Former Demon, hated by Heaven,
loathed by Hell.
139
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,480
How will our hero cope?
140
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880
- Are you making fun of me?
- Would you know if I was?
141
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,160
Mind if I come in?
142
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,040
- Gabriel has disappeared.
- So I understand.
143
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,800
I've spoke with Beelzebub,
144
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,840
and we believe Aziraphale
has something to do with it.
145
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,560
Yeah, that sounds unlikely.
146
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,680
A miracle of enormous power
happened last night.
147
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,400
The kind of miracle
148
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,080
only the mightiest of archangels
could've performed.
149
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,520
Mm?
150
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,720
Somewhere very close
to your friend's bookshop.
151
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,240
Are you telling me
you don't know what caused it?
152
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,840
How'd you know I didn't do it?
153
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,800
Help us, and we will be grateful.
154
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,800
And otherwise,
155
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,200
you'll be disliked by Heaven,
156
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,760
hunted and eliminated by Hell.
157
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,000
[engine starts]
158
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,880
So you do understand I'm threatening you?
159
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:57,040
[theme music plays]
160
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,400
Ah, Maggie!
161
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,360
You know music.
162
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,360
What can you tell me
about a song that goes:
163
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:35,160
[sings] ♪ Every day
It's a getting stronger ♪
164
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,640
♪ Love like that will ♪
165
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,520
- ♪ Surely come my way ♪
- [cries]
166
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,960
Oh. You're crying.
167
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,080
I'm not. [sniffs]
168
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,576
Do you actually think you aren't?
Because I...
169
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,480
Yes, I know I'm crying.
It's just a thing you say.
170
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,720
Oh, yes. Of course.
171
00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:00,320
Then may I ask why you... aren't crying?
172
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,480
Well, I'm certainly not crying over her.
173
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,320
[Aziraphale] No, no. Naturally not.
174
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,240
I mean, sure,
175
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,160
it took me months to nerve myself up
to even bring her an LP
176
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,960
and then absolutely, we got locked
in the coffee shop last night
177
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,520
and granted I then made
a complete arse of myself,
178
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,000
and she already has a partner!
179
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,200
But apart from that,
I'm pretty sure I'm in love.
180
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,760
- Ah...
- But she hates me and...
181
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,840
- What am I gonna do?
- Um...
182
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,920
Can I get back to you on that?
183
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,560
I think right now
I'm a bit out of miracles.
184
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,360
Yeah. Don't worry. I've got it.
185
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,280
And you're quite right,
186
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,800
it's not your job to sort out
my doomed love life.
187
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,720
The song is called "Everyday"
by Buddy Holly and Norman Petty.
188
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,000
It was the B-side
to the "Peggy Sue" single
189
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,000
released on the Coral label in 1957.
190
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,680
Oh. Jolly good.
191
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,720
- Do you have a copy?
- Mm. Too many of them.
192
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,120
There's a pub in Edinburgh.
193
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,320
I send them singles for the jukebox,
194
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,600
and they send me back copies of Everyday.
195
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:12,000
They say every record they play
eventually just turns into that song,
196
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,840
which is mad,
but they're Scottish, so...
197
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,120
Here.
198
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,640
Oh no.
199
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,240
- No, that's not good at all.
- What?
200
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,400
- They're here. Can't you feel them?
- Who's here?
201
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,120
And he's there on his own!
202
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,520
Ah. Well, well.
203
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,560
- Fancy meeting you here.
- [Michael] Aziraphale!
204
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,280
I think you know why we're here.
205
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,760
- We are looking...
- Greetings! I'm Jim!
206
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,256
It's short for James, but I don't need
to keep telling everyone that.
207
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,280
I'm an assistant book seller.
208
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,360
Gabriel.
209
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,640
- Where is Gabriel?
- Gabriel?
210
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,720
You know sometimes people call me Gabriel.
211
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,400
- Shall we discuss this inside?
- Yes!
212
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,520
By all means.
213
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,760
Would you like to come in?
214
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,120
Hooray! Let the book selling commence!
215
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,640
Uh, Jim, leave these good people alone.
216
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,120
They, they don't want any books.
217
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,696
Well, that's because
they haven't tried them.
218
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,160
Books are keen! Let me show you.
219
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,360
Did you think we wouldn't see the plume?
220
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,840
The... The plume? What plume?
221
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,240
The huge plume of miraculous activity.
222
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,840
Last night. From this shop.
223
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,320
Nearly 25 Lazarii.
224
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,200
Don't tell me you did it?
225
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,600
I, I suppose I, um...
226
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,920
I might have done a miracle.
227
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,120
And what was this miracle for, Aziraphale?
228
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,360
Something that powerful
must have been important.
229
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,360
These little bendy ones make a neato fan!
230
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,720
It was, um...
231
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,920
Err... Um, love! Yes!
232
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,440
Yes, um, you see, uh...
233
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,360
Maggie, who err, who owns the record shop
234
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,520
is in love.
235
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,600
It, it's what humans do.
236
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,640
Uh, with Nina, over the road.
237
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,200
And, and Ni-Nina doesn't love her back.
238
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,520
And, um, well, Maggie's my tenant,
239
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:35,840
so I, um... I did a big, big miracle...
240
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:41,720
uh, to make it so
that she and Nina, err...
241
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,320
fell in love.
242
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,440
- And did it work?
- Oh... Yes! Yes.
243
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,480
It, it worked brilliantly, yes.
244
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,280
Head over heels in love.
245
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,400
So the miracle was nothing to do
with Gabriel's disappearance then?
246
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,720
Gabriel?
247
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:04,000
Oh, you mentioned
you're looking for Gabriel.
248
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,720
- Did we?
- Yes.
249
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:08,840
Mm!
250
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,320
And see, the big ones
can be used as fly swats.
251
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,360
I know what you're thinking,
but it's okay,
252
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,200
because the beauty part is,
it never works.
253
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,920
[fly buzzing]
254
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,360
Don't I...
255
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,800
Don't I know you?
256
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,440
Yes.
257
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,360
You do.
258
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,080
I'm the assistant bookseller.
259
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,520
I opened the door for you.
260
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,000
I'll send someone tomorrow morning
to log and verify the miracle.
261
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,480
We'll be keeping a very close eye
on you, Aziraphale.
262
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,000
That's very, very professional of you.
263
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,640
What... what about me?
264
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,520
Uh, guys, shouldn't you keep
a close eye on me too?
265
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,160
They seemed nice.
266
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,600
["Everyday" by Buddy Holly plays]
267
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,240
♪ Everyday it's gettin' closer ♪
268
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,600
♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪
269
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,600
♪ Love like yours will ♪
270
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,480
♪ Surely come my way ♪
271
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,640
♪ A-hey, a-he-hey ♪
272
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,520
♪ Everyday, it's a gettin' faster ♪
273
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,120
♪ Everyone says: go ahead and ask her ♪
274
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,240
[fading] ♪ Love like yours will... ♪
275
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,000
Oh, we're going to the pub!
276
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,440
- You never go to the pub!
- We're in the pub now.
277
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,760
- What's wrong with the coffee shop?
- Well, that is precisely the point.
278
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,320
Sherry for me please, a large one.
279
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,400
Ah...
280
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,480
Large Talisker, please.
And a sherry for Lady Brackney.
281
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,680
Mr. Fell!
282
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,920
Oh... Hello?
283
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,040
Brown, from Brown's World of Carpets.
284
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,200
We met at the Whickber Street Traders
and Shopkeepers Association
285
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,840
annual meeting several years ago.
286
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,600
- Of course.
- You said back then
287
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,320
that you'd be delighted to host
one of our monthly get-togethers.
288
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,040
I did?
289
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,800
Every time I would look into your shop,
you'd be closed!
290
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,040
If I was a superstitious man,
I would have taken it personally!
291
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,080
- Indeed.
- Yes.
292
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,640
So, we all need to talk
about the council's proposed
293
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,200
rubbish collection times
and the Winter Street Lights campaign.
294
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,040
- Oh, I, I'm afraid that...
- A sherry for you.
295
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,880
Whisky for me... Hello.
296
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Oh, Mr. Fell has just been telling me
how much he's looking forward
297
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,280
to hosting our monthly
street association get-together.
298
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,200
- Ooh, you astonish me.
- So, look, I'll send over all the details,
299
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,800
but Thursday night after closing.
300
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,080
See? This is why I don't go to the pub.
301
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,920
It was your idea!
302
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,080
There's something urgent
I need to talk to you about.
303
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,240
Yes, same here. Last night's miracle.
304
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,120
Right. And we can't talk
about it in the café.
305
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,440
- Because?
- It's about the woman in the café!
306
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,280
Her name's Nina.
307
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,200
Maggie in the record shop has a...
308
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,040
pash on her...
309
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,040
and doesn't know
how to conduct a courtship.
310
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,560
We've got a real problem
and it's in your bookshop right now!
311
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,160
Same problem.
312
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,040
Our Gabriel miracle last night
set off alarms in Heaven.
313
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,960
- Ahh!
- They suspect something!
314
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,280
And so, I told them I'd made Nina
and Maggie fall in love.
315
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,040
Why?
316
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,880
- It was the first thing I could think of.
- And they believed you?
317
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,920
They're sending someone to check.
318
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,160
Great. Do a little miracle,
wiggle your fingers about,
319
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,080
Nina falls for Maggie, problem solved.
320
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,560
Ah, miracles don't work like that.
321
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,320
So, what are you proposing?
322
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,520
We... fix it.
323
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,800
Nina and Maggie fall in love.
Heaven's suspicions are allayed.
324
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,720
You mean like a sudden rainstorm
325
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,720
forces them together beneath a canopy?
326
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,080
They look into each other's eyes...
327
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,320
And realize they were made for each other?
328
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,080
- Sounds a bit unlikely.
- No, no, no. No. No.
329
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,320
Get humans wet
and staring into each other's eyes,
330
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,200
vavoom, sorted.
331
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,800
I saw it in a Richard Curtis film.
332
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,080
If you're going to invoke fiction,
333
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,440
- you might as well do it properly.
- Properly?
334
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,200
- You remember Jane Austen?
- Yeah.
335
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,080
I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I?
336
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,560
The brains behind the 1810
Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery.
337
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,200
Brandy smuggler. Master spy.
338
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,200
What a piece of work.
339
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,400
She wrote books. Novels.
340
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,200
- Jane? Austen?
- Yes!
341
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,800
Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh?
342
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800
Yes. They were very good.
343
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,560
Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all.
344
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,920
You think you know someone.
345
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,080
- She had balls.
- Well.
346
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,000
Cotillion balls.
347
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,280
People would gather
and do some formal dancing
348
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,000
and then realize they had
misunderstood each other
349
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,160
and were actually deeply in love.
350
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,880
- Now that sounds unlikely.
- Works every time apparently.
351
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,400
And there's something else,
I'll show you the record.
352
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,480
I think it may be... a Clue.
353
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,560
I'm lost. Am I doing a rainstorm?
354
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,640
Come on! I want to show you the Clue!
355
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,440
Whatever you've found out,
don't call it a "Clue".
356
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,560
But it is a Clue.
357
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,416
Well, at least don't pronounce
the capital letter.
358
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,280
Gabriel was singing this morning, a song.
359
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,440
Wha... what?
360
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,800
Have you ever heard a song that goes,
361
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,800
[singing] ♪ Every day,
it's a getting closer? ♪
362
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,800
- No.
- Well, that's what he was singing.
363
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,080
A human song.
364
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,240
And there is an actual mystery
associated with that song.
365
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,560
And that is the Clue! Yeah.
366
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,000
Not another word.
367
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,320
Jane Austen. Wrote books too.
368
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,480
You people, I will never get
the hang of you lot.
369
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,920
Ah, Jim. Now, tell me. What do you know?
370
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,640
Okay.
371
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,560
"Whaddayaknow."
372
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,000
No, I mean, what's the first thing
you remember?
373
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,520
I remember a song I sang this morning.
374
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,320
But where did you hear it?
375
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,440
I heard it this morning.
It came out of my mouth.
376
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,000
Oh, and I remember those three nice people
that were in the shop just now.
377
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,080
You do?
378
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,640
Yes. They were in the shop, just now.
379
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,880
Ah, you can do better than that.
380
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,960
Come on, think!
381
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,160
Think hard!
What is the very first thing you remember?
382
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,400
I remember when the morning
stars sang together,
383
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,280
and all the Angels of God shouted for joy.
384
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,640
Yes! Oh yes, yes! That's right!
385
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,880
- No...
- Keep going!
386
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,320
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
387
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,800
I can't! I can't!
388
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,440
I can't remember those things.
389
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,080
My, my head isn't big enough. Not anymore.
390
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,320
Yes, I, I see. Um...
391
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,160
I'm sorry Jim.
392
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,440
But you've done awfully well.
393
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,120
Have a rest now.
394
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:17,120
Your boss said that to Job,
do you remember?
395
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,200
I most certainly do.
396
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,280
- [Job] My children?
- [Crowley] Mmm.
397
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,440
Are they around?
Only I need them for a... thing.
398
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,520
I'm not sure.
399
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,320
Sitis will know.
400
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,560
Sorry, you've... you've come
at rather a bad time.
401
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,720
Well, yeah, yeah, so I can see.
What happened?
402
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,640
God has forsaken me
and delivered me to demons.
403
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,800
[Crowley] Oh! You must be furious?
404
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,280
I burn with fury.
405
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,680
Course you do.
406
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,720
After all your devotion to God.
407
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,440
Not at God!
408
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,280
Fury at myself.
409
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,280
Yourself? Why, what have you done?
410
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,360
[Job] I don't know.
411
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,800
And how sunk in sin must I be
not only to deserve all this,
412
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,360
but not even to know why.
413
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,120
[Sitis] What is it now?
414
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,000
Ah, Sitis my dear.
415
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,800
This... person was
looking for the children.
416
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,480
Why? Who are you?
417
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,400
Just an old friend.
Here to offer some comfort.
418
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,080
What 'old friend'?
419
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,800
You tell me.
420
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,720
Oh... Bildad the Shuhite?
421
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,280
Sure. So, the kids.
422
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:45,560
Where are they?
423
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,200
Oh. Not now Bildad the Shuhite.
424
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,000
Good of you to look in,
but we're a tiny bit busy
425
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,176
weathering the wrath of God.
426
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,120
Well, yeah.
427
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,760
I thought you could do with someone
to check up on the kids.
428
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,440
No.
429
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,560
God wouldn't!
430
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,680
Are you sure?
431
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,160
But they've done nothing!
They're innocent!
432
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,880
So were the goats.
433
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,880
Mmmm. Nice gaff.
434
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:25,760
Shame...
435
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,160
Crowley!
436
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,520
You don't have to destroy Job's children.
437
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,920
Last time we met
you seemed pretty confident
438
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,840
I couldn't destroy Job's goats.
439
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,760
Yes. I was wrong.
440
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,800
- Technically you can, but...
- Oh, then technically I will.
441
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,160
But you don't have to! That's the point.
442
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,696
Surely the great thing about being a demon
443
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,720
is you can do whatever you want.
444
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,480
- Mm, you sound jealous, angel.
- Certainly not.
445
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,960
I get to do what God wants.
446
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,960
Like killing innocent children
to win a bet with Satan?
447
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,240
I... I don't think...
448
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,160
- that is what God wants.
- Well...
449
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,200
And I don't think you want it either.
450
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,320
What do you know about what I want?
451
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,320
- I know you.
- You do not know me
452
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,320
I know the angel you were.
453
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,560
The angel you knew is not me.
454
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,040
Then... Then you tell me
that you want to do this.
455
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,160
You look me in the eye and tell me.
456
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,840
I want to.
457
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,960
I long to destroy the blameless children
of blameless Job,
458
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,680
just as I destroyed his blameless goats.
459
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,040
Then God forgive you.
460
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,320
[goat bleating]
461
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:05,560
[bleating]
462
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,160
[birds bleat]
463
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,280
[bleats]
464
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,760
[goats bleating]
465
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,880
Well?
466
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,216
- [Crowley] You can stop grinning.
- [Aziraphale] I'm not grinning.
467
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,000
Doesn't mean we're on the same side.
468
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,320
No! No...
469
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,200
Temporarily not on different sides.
470
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,600
- Just as you say.
- [door opens]
471
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,760
Be not afraid!
472
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:50,040
I am an angel of the Lord thy God.
473
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,520
Oh. Have you brought the wine
Daddy prayed for?
474
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,680
- For the party?
- Err, err... No.
475
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,480
I have no wine, child.
476
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,600
- I bring...
- Ennon!
477
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,200
- What is it?
- The angels are here.
478
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,160
Just not our usual ones.
479
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,120
And they haven't brought the wine.
480
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,680
Well them you'd better pop off
and get it now, hadn't you?
481
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,360
Ooh, he seems nice.
482
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,040
I bring a warning!
483
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:28,240
Satan has sent a demon to destroy you!
484
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,280
- Tonight!
- Don't be silly.
485
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:31,400
He wouldn't dare.
486
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,320
I'm sorry, Satan?
487
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,480
- Satan wouldn't dare?
- Certainly not.
488
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,400
You see, I'm Keziah, daughter of Job.
489
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,440
I'm Ennon, son of Job.
490
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,720
And I'm Jemimah! I made this pot!
491
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:43,920
- Oh.
- She did.
492
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,960
But also: daughter of Job.
493
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,160
You know, the Job?
494
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,320
Literally God's favorite human.
495
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,840
Yes, I know who you are.
496
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,080
- You're a funny looking angel.
- Aren't I just?
497
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,600
Are you a demon?
498
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,680
Oh, she's good.
499
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:07,200
Ah... Yes.
He is in fact technically a demon.
500
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,320
Spot on.
501
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,520
Sent here to destroy you all!
502
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,200
Ready?
503
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,640
[children scream]
504
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:17,840
But... you said you wouldn't.
505
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,000
I'm a demon. I lied. Ah!
506
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,440
Can't you save us?
507
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,720
I'm afraid not. He has a permit, you see.
508
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,560
But... be not afraid.
509
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,120
You're perfectly safe.
510
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,520
Are you sure, Angel?
511
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,800
Yes. Quite sure.
512
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,840
[screaming]
513
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,000
What happened? We're in the cellar.
514
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,680
I knew it!
515
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,080
Wind, I assume.
516
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,640
That's what Satan really has planned.
517
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,280
A mighty wind from the wilderness
518
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,000
to smite the mansion
and bring it down upon them.
519
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,160
Ooh, aren't you brilliant?
520
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,360
Actually I, I think getting us all
in the cellar was very clever.
521
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,480
- Will someone please tell me...
- [snaps fingers]
522
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:15,840
...what...
523
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,000
What have you done to him?
524
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,200
This. [snaps fingers]
525
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,560
[laughs]
526
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,240
Can I be a blue one?
527
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,480
It's alright. You haven't annoyed me yet.
528
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,680
But can I be?
529
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,600
Oh. Sure.
530
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,360
Oh. They've started early.
531
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,360
Well...
532
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,040
Might as well get comfortable.
533
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:17,040
Are you... drinking human wine?
534
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,960
It's the source of drunkenness.
535
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,560
Isn't it just?
536
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,040
[Crowley] Mmmm.
537
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,440
Very promising little vineyard.
538
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,920
[wrenching]
539
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,760
Yeah alright, you don't drink.
540
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,120
Try the food, though.
541
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,800
You can't get drunk on food.
542
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,120
Go on.
543
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,440
Have an ox-rib.
544
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:51,000
Are you trying to tempt me?
545
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,320
Not at all.
Angels can't be tempted, can you?
546
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,360
- Certainly not.
- Well, there you are then.
547
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,840
You're free to try the food.
548
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:24,800
[gasps]
549
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,640
Oh, I say.
550
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,800
Cheers.
551
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,080
Come on! You're a little bit on our side.
552
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,080
Not even the littlest.
553
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,000
[Aziraphale] Well, you're not
on Hell's side.
554
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,400
I go along with Hell as far as I can.
555
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,800
So whose side are you on?
556
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,360
My side.
557
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,280
Gosh.
558
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:12,200
Well, that sounds...
559
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,080
What?
560
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,720
Lonely.
561
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,960
Lonely? No, not lonely.
562
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,520
Whose side are you on?
563
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,240
God's, of course!
564
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,880
Oh, really?
565
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,840
The same God that wants me
to whack the kids?
566
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,800
Yes.
567
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,440
- But...
- Yeah...
568
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,360
That's just how it started for me.
569
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,280
See you in Hell.
570
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,680
[God's voice muffled]
571
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,120
Oh, my God!
572
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,960
Blasphemy, Angel? That's not like... you.
573
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,800
No, look! Oh...
574
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,080
My God!
575
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,560
[God] Job, if you have questions for me,
576
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,240
I have questions for you.
577
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,480
Do you know how I created the earth?
578
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,920
Where were you when I laid
the foundations of the earth, Job?
579
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,960
Were you there when all
the morning stars sang together
580
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,280
and all the angels shouted for joy?
581
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:25,840
- Is God actually...
- I think so.
582
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,200
...talking to him?
583
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,360
[God continues muffled]
584
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,120
- I don't suppose he's getting any answers.
- [Crowley] No.
585
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,920
But just to be able to ask the question.
586
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,360
[God] Do you know
the rules of the heavens?
587
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,280
Did you set the constellations in the sky?
588
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,960
Can you send lightning bolts
and get them to report back to you?
589
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,600
Did you give wings to peacocks, Job,
590
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,640
or teach the ostrich to run?
591
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,040
What did God say?
592
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,280
Um... I'm not sure.
593
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,120
I didn't understand much.
594
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,040
Things too wonderful for me.
595
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,160
Ostriches came into it.
596
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,480
- Ostriches?
- And whales.
597
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,800
God's very proud of the whale.
598
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,880
Went into some detail about...
how great whales are.
599
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,080
They explain?
600
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,960
I think the point was,
601
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,880
if you want answers,
602
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,040
come back when you can make a whale.
603
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:36,640
And the children?
604
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,000
Did They mention the children?
605
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,440
No.
606
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,520
No.
607
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,000
Virtuous Job,
608
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,880
you have passed God's test.
609
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,400
Prepare for your reward.
610
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,520
Behold, where you have lost 300 sheep,
611
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,680
the Lord grants you 600!
612
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,680
[applause]
613
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,120
[Aziraphale] Sorry, sorry.
614
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,640
What do you say?
615
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:16,880
Thank you?
616
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,960
Well, don't thank me. Thank God!
617
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,480
You want me to thank God for sheep?
618
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,080
Our children.
619
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,880
What about our children?
620
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:27,840
[Gabriel] Yes, yeah, yes...
621
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,800
I was... I was, I was getting to that!
622
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,040
For Lo,
623
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:35,160
though your three children
are completely dead,
624
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:40,760
God now grants that you may conceive
seven more children!
625
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,920
[applause]
626
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,960
- Our children are dead?
- Yeah.
627
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,640
But I loved my children!
628
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,640
I don't... I don't want more children.
629
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,320
If my children are dead,
then I will curse God and...
630
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,360
Whoa! Ho-ho...
631
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,800
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
That never ends well.
632
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,040
Remember me? Bildad the Shuhite?
633
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,280
- Um...
- Who is this?
634
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,160
Err, he says he's Bildad the Shuhite?
635
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,160
And so I am. Bildad the Shuhite.
636
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,400
[Job keeps crying]
637
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,840
Need any shoes?
638
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,600
Shuhite of course means
from the land of Shua.
639
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,560
- Yes.
- Indeed, it does.
640
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,160
Where, as it happens,
I am a leading shoemaker.
641
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,200
What, you think they don't wear
shoes in Shua?
642
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,480
Yes, well, it would be really useful
643
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:41,120
if you were an expert on human births?
644
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,200
Then this is your lucky day!
645
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,000
Shoemaking and obstetrics.
646
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,000
Those have always been the twin passions
of Bildad the Shuhite.
647
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,480
What seems to be the trouble?
648
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,280
Well, um, Sitis here
649
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,640
has just learned
that she is to have lots more children.
650
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,680
Oh! Well!
651
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,360
Let's get started!
No need to be shy, Sitis.
652
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,440
I am a professional midwife slash cobbler.
653
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,760
And I'm sure these angelic entities
have seen it all before.
654
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,840
Yes, in fact Gabriel here
655
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:17,600
has personally witnessed
childbirth in the Garden of Eden.
656
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,600
- [chuckles]
- Have you now? Wow.
657
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,800
Then I'd better be on my toes,
under the eyes of an expert.
658
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,880
[laughs]
659
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,160
- Oh...
- Ah, um...
660
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,760
[whispers]...exactly what I say.
Trust me.
661
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:32,960
Um...
662
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,480
Now, good lady,
663
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,560
simply turn to your husband,
664
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,640
reach into his robes...
665
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,160
H-higher. Higher.
666
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,480
Uh, a little higher...
667
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,680
That's it! And pull out three of his ribs.
668
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,080
Oh yeah. Uh, ribs. It's... Don't worry.
669
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,280
It's all part of the process.
I've seen this before.
670
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,680
[he groans]
671
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,360
And to complete the process,
a simple embrace.
672
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,360
[Job groans]
673
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,280
- Mummy!
- Oh!
674
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,360
[applause]
675
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,480
But... they're not babies.
676
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,280
Certainly not.
677
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,640
Was Eve a baby?
678
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:33,920
- [Michael] Was she?
- No, no.
679
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,400
They can arrive in any size.
680
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,640
Ennon, my boy!
681
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,440
- Ennon?
- [Crowley] No, no, no.
682
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,320
Not Ennon, Job. Ennon's gone.
683
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,520
This is your new son.
684
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,840
- But it is...
- A miracle.
685
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,600
It is a miracle that our new son
686
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,640
should look so much like our old son.
687
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,640
- But it is...
- No, Job. Look.
688
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,200
It's not Ennon, it's a new child.
689
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,080
These are all... They're all new children.
690
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,520
No, you're right! It's not Ennon.
691
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,000
Yes, it bloody is.
692
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,320
Aziraphale, are these
the new children God promised Job?
693
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,080
They certainly seem to be.
694
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,120
[Michael] No, they certainly ought to be.
695
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,120
But they seem to be his old children.
696
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,640
Aziraphale, who are they?
697
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,200
[Aziraphale] They are...
698
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,160
His new children.
699
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,080
I... You have my word as an angel.
700
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,600
Well, that's alright then. Huh?
701
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,640
Why didn't you just say so?
702
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,520
Congratulations!
703
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,600
[Gabriel laughs]
704
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,440
Crowley?
705
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,120
[Gabriel] He went away.
706
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:15,920
While you were thinking.
707
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,160
You know, you really used to be...
708
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,440
awful.
709
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,960
I mean, so awful.
710
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,600
Am I awful now?
711
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:30,920
I don't know.
712
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,080
I hope not.
713
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,560
Oh... Good.
714
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,480
You're the one from yesterday.
Struck by lightning.
715
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,560
It looked worse than it was.
716
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,360
Mr. Six Espressos In a Big Cup.
717
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,400
Silly questions, but how do you feel
about sudden rain?
718
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,960
Yeah. That's a silly question alright.
719
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,560
No, but in the event
of a sudden torrential downpour,
720
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,960
would you be likely to shelter
under an awning?
721
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,360
Wow. It...
722
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,440
It's like you've looked deep
into my secret soul.
723
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,040
Well, it's a knack.
724
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,080
For instance...
725
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,920
Oh? Maggie?
726
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,160
Oh, err, no. Not a thing. Definitely.
727
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,760
We're just friends.
728
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,536
Actually, we're not friends.
We barely know each other.
729
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,760
We just got trapped in the shop
when the power went out.
730
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,920
My partner was not impressed.
731
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,760
Well, not a pleasant evening. That's all.
732
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,000
Gotcha.
733
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,480
Do you need a lift somewhere?
734
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:03,960
Err, no. Thank you.
735
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,800
I was trying to tell you about this.
736
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,400
My Clue.
737
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,640
- "The Resurrectionist."
- Pub.
738
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,160
Has a jukebox.
739
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,840
This record was found on the jukebox.
740
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,200
So what?
741
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,400
So first it wasn't on the jukebox.
742
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,520
It doesn't seem to matter what people
in the pub want to listen to,
743
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,320
sooner or later every record
turns into this.
744
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,880
It is, as you might say... a miracle.
745
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:32,320
Ooh.
746
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,560
So, I thought I might pop up there myself
747
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,160
and investigate!
748
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,360
Fair enough. What time's your train?
749
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,440
Actually I rather thought
I might take the car.
750
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,880
- What car?
- Our car.
751
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,200
- We don't have a car.
- Of course we do.
752
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,880
Isn't she a beauty?
753
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,160
This Bentley is my car.
754
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,080
Well, yes, technically.
755
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,320
Just as that bookshop is
technically my shop,
756
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,160
but... we both get plenty
of use out of it, don't we?
757
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,640
You can't drive my Bentley.
758
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,480
No, I can! I have a license, yes.
759
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,680
I passed my driving test 90 years ago.
760
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,400
They didn't even require tests,
but I insisted.
761
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,520
No.
762
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:16,920
Don't worry!
763
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,640
- I'll be very, very careful.
- No!
764
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,160
And while I'm gone,
you can look after the bookshop.
765
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,840
And Gabriel.
766
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,000
Yes?
767
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,480
[Gabriel] "It was the day
my grandmother exploded."
768
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:41,120
"It is a truth universally acknowledged
769
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,680
that a single man
in possession of a good fortune
770
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,760
must be in want of a wife."
771
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,560
Whatever that is.
772
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,440
"It was a nice day."
773
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,440
That's more like it.
774
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:36,280
Ah. Yes, I thought
perhaps they might send you.
775
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:40,760
Well...
776
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,320
I'm ready to go.
777
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,400
- Go where?
- To Hell.
778
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,760
I'm not taking you to Hell, Angel.
779
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:56,880
Why not?
780
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,880
Well, I don't think you'd like it.
781
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,200
But you have to.
782
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,560
I'm like you now.
783
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:08,640
A demon.
784
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,360
[laughs]
785
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,680
Sorry.
786
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:21,800
You think you're a demon?
787
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,280
With your curly little...
and your neat white...
788
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,360
I'm a fallen angel!
789
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,240
I lied.
790
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,120
To thwart the will of God.
791
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,520
Well yeah, you did, but...
792
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:41,120
I'm not gonna tell anybody.
793
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,040
Are you?
794
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,560
No. Then nothing has to change, does it?
795
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:13,920
But what am I?
796
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,680
You're just an angel
who goes along with Heaven
797
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,560
as far as he can.
798
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,480
That sounds, um...
799
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:28,840
Lonely?
800
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,400
Yeah.
801
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,960
But you said it wasn't.
802
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,400
I'm a demon.
803
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:40,760
I lied.
804
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:55,120
[theme music plays]