1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,720 Subs created by: David Coleman. 2 00:00:04,926 --> 00:00:07,161 When are you guys gonna be finished? 3 00:00:07,162 --> 00:00:09,397 We wanna use the table. 4 00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:14,402 Zuri, chess is a noble game of strategy and patience. 5 00:00:14,403 --> 00:00:18,272 We could be here for hours, days, even weeks. 6 00:00:18,273 --> 00:00:20,853 Ugh! I'm out. 7 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:25,179 Finally! You know, you could have won five minutes ago. 8 00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:27,114 And what makes you say that? 9 00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:29,250 If you would've moved your horsey to that space, 10 00:00:29,251 --> 00:00:31,352 he would've had to move his castle here, 11 00:00:31,353 --> 00:00:34,389 which would've left him open for one royal butt-whoopin'. 12 00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:37,870 Dear Gods, you are correct! 13 00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:40,881 Whoa. Zuri, how do you know so much about chess? 14 00:00:40,882 --> 00:00:42,263 I dunno. 15 00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:45,433 I just picked it up while I was waiting for you. 16 00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:47,502 What? Like it's hard? 17 00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:53,340 Well then, perhaps you might care to test your luck against a master. 18 00:00:53,341 --> 00:00:56,401 Or I could play you. 19 00:00:57,212 --> 00:01:00,281 What I do not get is how you were able to think so far ahead. 20 00:01:00,282 --> 00:01:03,755 It's easy. Like when I want to stay up past my bedtime. 21 00:01:03,756 --> 00:01:07,154 At breakfast, I tell Jessie she's the best nanny ever, 22 00:01:07,155 --> 00:01:10,558 then I give her some lame gift I made in art class, and bam! 23 00:01:10,559 --> 00:01:13,919 I'm up late watching TV. 24 00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:18,232 Hey, I thought you made me that dream catcher because you love me. 25 00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:22,073 I do. I also love Charlie Rose. 26 00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:24,305 What do you say when you win? 27 00:01:24,306 --> 00:01:30,206 Well, if you were to win, (Scoffs) Which is unlikely, you would say, "checkmate." 28 00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:33,247 That's lame. I'm going with... 29 00:01:33,248 --> 00:01:36,068 "You lose, sucka!" 30 00:01:38,093 --> 00:01:40,414 You gotta admit, that is catchier. 31 00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:43,695 ♪Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh. 32 00:01:43,696 --> 00:01:47,056 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 33 00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:50,954 ♪It feels like a party every day. 34 00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:54,315 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 35 00:01:54,396 --> 00:01:58,199 ♪But they keep on pulling me every which way. 36 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,458 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 37 00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:04,805 ♪My whole world is changing. Turning around. 38 00:02:04,806 --> 00:02:08,638 ♪They got me going crazy. Yeah, they're shaking the ground. 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,346 ♪But they took a chance on the new girl in town. 40 00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:15,930 ♪And I don't want to let them down, down, down. 41 00:02:15,931 --> 00:02:18,451 ♪Hey Jessie. 42 00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:21,874 ♪Hey Jessie. 43 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:26,676 ♪It feels like a party every day. 44 00:02:26,677 --> 00:02:30,697 ♪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie. 45 00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:35,144 Man on TV: Twenty-five years ago, 46 00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:38,100 this man stole a priceless diamond necklace from a yacht, 47 00:02:38,101 --> 00:02:41,003 then escaped using scuba gear. 48 00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:43,072 Diamonds? (Giggling) 49 00:02:43,073 --> 00:02:48,110 Please! Everyone knows you should wear pearls when you're on the water. 50 00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:52,851 And there's Emma's useless tip of the day. 51 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:56,085 Man on TV: Police believe the Scuba Bandit then went into hiding. 52 00:02:56,086 --> 00:02:59,031 Here is a computer rendering of what he would look like today. 53 00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:02,121 Hey. That picture kind of reminds me of... 54 00:03:02,122 --> 00:03:05,961 Here is what investigators believe he would look like if he spent the last 25 years 55 00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:09,555 complaining all the time and eating cheese. 56 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,744 (Gasps) 57 00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:13,317 Bertram! He's the Scuba Bandit! 58 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,552 That picture looks just like him. 59 00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:21,453 So does a walrus. That doesn't mean he's a master criminal. 60 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,730 Bertram, totally random question. 61 00:03:25,731 --> 00:03:30,534 Where were you on the night of August 12, 1987? 62 00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:36,435 Well, you kids weren't born yet, so I was probably someplace being happy. 63 00:03:36,608 --> 00:03:39,744 I was just curious what you did before you came to work for us. 64 00:03:39,745 --> 00:03:41,378 I'll tell you one thing. 65 00:03:41,379 --> 00:03:45,099 I had a lot less acid reflux. 66 00:03:47,134 --> 00:03:50,587 Luke, did you hear that? He was ducking my questions! 67 00:03:50,588 --> 00:03:53,423 That proves Bertram is the Scuba Bandit! 68 00:03:53,424 --> 00:03:54,747 Why? 69 00:03:54,748 --> 00:03:59,108 Just because he can't remember what he was doing on some random day 25 years ago? 70 00:03:59,109 --> 00:04:01,110 You're being stupid. 71 00:04:01,111 --> 00:04:06,871 Said the boy who thought eggplants came from planting eggs. 72 00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:14,957 Man, what is up with the nerd herd in the park today? 73 00:04:14,958 --> 00:04:16,110 Hmm. 74 00:04:16,111 --> 00:04:19,161 They are signing up for the Central Park Chess Tournament. 75 00:04:19,162 --> 00:04:22,231 The prize is two first-class tickets to Paris. 76 00:04:22,232 --> 00:04:25,301 Paris? That's the most romantic city in the world! 77 00:04:25,302 --> 00:04:27,169 It's always been my dream to go there. 78 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:28,713 (Shushing) 79 00:04:28,714 --> 00:04:31,306 (French accent) I am trying to concentrate. 80 00:04:31,307 --> 00:04:36,145 Now, make like a mime and shut your pie hole! 81 00:04:36,146 --> 00:04:40,449 Well, on behalf of me and mimes everywhere... 82 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:44,420 You know what, Jessie? I'm going to win that trip for you. 83 00:04:44,421 --> 00:04:46,155 You deserve a vacation. 84 00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:49,492 And I deserve a nice break from school. 85 00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:53,901 That is Clement Brulee. He is the best player in Central Park. 86 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:57,266 Zuri does not stand a chance against him. 87 00:04:57,267 --> 00:04:59,891 I think the girl with the loud hair 88 00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:05,775 would do well to listen to the boy in the loud shirt. (Scoffs condescendingly) 89 00:05:05,776 --> 00:05:06,869 Oh, yeah? 90 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:10,379 Well, my Zuri's going to enter, and she's going to beat the baguette out of you! 91 00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,314 You bet your Beret I am! 92 00:05:12,315 --> 00:05:13,893 Mmm. That's right. 93 00:05:13,894 --> 00:05:16,914 She's going to practice every single second until that competition. 94 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:18,254 I am? 95 00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,256 But tonight Charlie Rose is interviewing 96 00:05:20,257 --> 00:05:23,192 the head of the International Monetary Fund! 97 00:05:23,193 --> 00:05:26,133 TV rots your brain. 98 00:05:28,265 --> 00:05:30,066 Emma, this is crazy. 99 00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:35,587 If Bertram's the Scuba Bandit, I'll kiss Mrs. Kipling. 100 00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:40,476 (Softly) Better pucker up and get some breath spray. 101 00:05:40,477 --> 00:05:42,244 - Bertram! - Oh! 102 00:05:42,245 --> 00:05:44,213 What are you doing? 103 00:05:44,214 --> 00:05:46,315 This is how I always clean Luke's room. 104 00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:48,184 The air is dangerous. 105 00:05:48,185 --> 00:05:51,423 Last time I went in there unprotected, I woke up three days later, 106 00:05:51,424 --> 00:05:53,355 and I could hear colors. 107 00:05:53,356 --> 00:05:56,525 Wait, that's not normal? 108 00:05:56,526 --> 00:05:59,346 (Breathing heavily) 109 00:06:00,775 --> 00:06:04,394 I can't believe it, but you might be right! 110 00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:08,437 I also can't believe my first kiss is gonna be with a reptile. 111 00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:10,478 I can. 112 00:06:14,838 --> 00:06:18,377 Guys, Bertram is way too lazy to be a jewel thief! 113 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,909 He does so little work around here, 114 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:23,217 the only thing he's guilty of stealing is a paycheck. 115 00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:26,718 Oh, yeah? What do you think about this? 116 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,056 Well, it doesn't really go with what you're wearing, but... 117 00:06:29,057 --> 00:06:30,857 No! 118 00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:32,768 I found it in Bertram's room, 119 00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:37,854 behind his collection of onions that look like The Three Tenors. I don't... 120 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,433 Jessie, you have to call the fuzz right now 121 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,370 and tell 'em we just blew the lid clean off this caper! 122 00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:44,977 Hold it, Mugsy. 123 00:06:44,978 --> 00:06:48,681 Just because Bertram had that necklace in his room doesn't mean he's a criminal. 124 00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:51,278 The man could just like his bling. 125 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:55,182 Well, here's more proof. Look what I found online. 126 00:06:55,183 --> 00:06:57,517 "When the Scuba Bandit dove off the yacht with the jewels," 127 00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,195 "a passenger spotted a heart-shaped birthmark," 128 00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:02,089 "on the bottom of his right foot." 129 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,456 Okay, so? 130 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:07,027 So, all we have to do is trick Bertram into removing his shoes 131 00:07:07,028 --> 00:07:09,379 and see if he has the same birthmark. 132 00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:11,732 - Are you with us? - (Scoffs) Not a chance. 133 00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:13,843 A world where I look at Bertram's feet on purpose 134 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:18,104 is a world I don't want to live in. 135 00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:22,629 Ravi, I have some exciting chess news! 136 00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:26,413 Ha! There's one sentence that's never been spoken before. 137 00:07:26,414 --> 00:07:28,415 I spoke to the Central Park Chess Committee 138 00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:30,384 and got you a job as the emcee of the tournament! 139 00:07:30,385 --> 00:07:33,420 (Squeals) Really? That is amazing, Jessie! Thank you! 140 00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:34,899 (Laughs) 141 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:38,525 And they'll be broadcasting over the Internet to literally dozens of people! 142 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,493 (Gasps) 143 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:44,028 How did you convince them that I was the right man for the job? 144 00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:47,856 Oh, it was easy. Apparently, you really appeal to their target demographic. 145 00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:50,203 Smart and sophisticated? 146 00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:51,936 Young and nerdy. 147 00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:54,207 Right now the average age of most of their fans is... 148 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,548 Well, dead. 149 00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:04,184 Now's our chance to find out for sure if Bertram is the Scuba Bandit. 150 00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:06,119 We just have to be subtle. 151 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,387 Got it. 152 00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,323 (Roaring) Charge! 153 00:08:09,324 --> 00:08:11,664 (Exclaiming) 154 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,128 Unhand my foot! 155 00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:18,298 Luke! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. 156 00:08:18,299 --> 00:08:21,034 Tackle the Butler is an outdoor game! 157 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:22,641 Aha! 158 00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:24,949 Jessie, look! Can you believe it? 159 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:29,242 Believe what? Bertram has so much hair on his foot he could be a hobbit? 160 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,079 No! It's the heart-shaped birthmark! 161 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,924 Bertram is the Scuba Bandit! 162 00:08:33,925 --> 00:08:36,216 What? No, I'm not! 163 00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:39,574 Then how do you explain that mysterious birthmark on your foot? 164 00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:41,511 That's not a birthmark. 165 00:08:41,512 --> 00:08:46,893 It's a scar from stepping on a glass that Luke broke and never cleaned up! 166 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:50,397 Huh. That does sounds like me. 167 00:08:50,398 --> 00:08:53,166 Then what about this priceless necklace Luke found in your room? 168 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,925 That's a birthday present for my mother! 169 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,464 And it's not priceless. 170 00:08:57,465 --> 00:09:02,042 It's a knock-off I bought from a guy on Canal Street, Larry Winston. 171 00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:07,014 Ugh! I bought a bracelet from him once, it turned my whole arm green. 172 00:09:07,015 --> 00:09:11,318 You kids need to stay out of my room, and out of my business! 173 00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,564 Can't you control these hooligans? 174 00:09:13,565 --> 00:09:16,256 You are the world's worst nanny! 175 00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:19,259 Okay, just because it says that on the coffee mug you got me for Christmas 176 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,380 doesn't make it true! 177 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,098 What's all this? 178 00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:28,235 A special tea party for Chubbs. 179 00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,618 I don't play with him for 24 hours, 180 00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:35,464 and suddenly he thinks I'm not invested in our relationship. 181 00:09:35,465 --> 00:09:38,811 But the chess tournament is tomorrow. You should be practicing. 182 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:42,461 Jessie, I want to win that trip to Paris for you but, 183 00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:46,319 I don't want to spend all day playing checkers' snobby cousin. 184 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,326 But think about all the fun we'll have! 185 00:09:48,327 --> 00:09:51,754 We'll see the Eiffel Tower, and the Louvre, and the Eiffel Tower... 186 00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:55,362 - You already said that. - I don't know much about Paris. 187 00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:58,231 But that's why I want to go! So come practice! 188 00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,901 Sorry, Chubbs! 189 00:09:59,902 --> 00:10:05,362 Now he's going to withhold cuddling until I apologize! 190 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:11,201 Emma: Why is it so dark in here? 191 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:13,280 (Screaming) 192 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:14,510 Bertram? 193 00:10:14,511 --> 00:10:18,151 Don't you mean the Scuba Bandit? 194 00:10:18,152 --> 00:10:19,962 It was you! 195 00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:22,322 I told you! 196 00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:25,225 I always knew you kids'd find me out eventually. 197 00:10:25,226 --> 00:10:29,196 I just thought it would be one of the smart ones. 198 00:10:29,197 --> 00:10:31,057 Hey! 199 00:10:31,318 --> 00:10:34,401 Actually, that's fair. 200 00:10:34,402 --> 00:10:36,913 I started my life of crime when I was three. 201 00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:42,814 Stole another kid's pacifier, and became known as the Binky Burglar. 202 00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:47,463 Now, if you kids don't want to get arrested for harboring a fugitive... 203 00:10:47,464 --> 00:10:51,118 You're going to help me rob the jewelry store across the street. 204 00:10:51,119 --> 00:10:52,861 Why do you need us? 205 00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:54,837 Because my days of crawling through tiny vents 206 00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:59,578 are 25 years and 2,500 baby back ribs ago. 207 00:11:00,128 --> 00:11:04,097 But we've never stolen anything in our lives! 208 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:08,418 I've never stolen anything in my life! 209 00:11:08,852 --> 00:11:14,241 Don't worry, I'm gonna give you kids a crash course in thievery. 210 00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:18,909 Now, meet me tomorrow in the living room... 211 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:20,814 Or else. 212 00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:23,755 (Laughing maniacally) 213 00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:26,910 (Crashing) (Screaming) 214 00:11:26,911 --> 00:11:31,090 Bertram: And keep your stuff off the stairs! 215 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,251 (Moaning) 216 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,710 You, pawn! 217 00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:42,302 (Scolding) Why aren't you practicing? 218 00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:47,026 You must defeat the evil King so your Queen can get to Paris. 219 00:11:47,027 --> 00:11:50,277 I want to meet some cute French guys! 220 00:11:50,278 --> 00:11:52,345 Ooh, la, la! 221 00:11:52,346 --> 00:11:55,114 Don't tell The Bishop. 222 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,661 I'm sorry, Your Highness, I was just playing with Chubby the Bear. 223 00:11:58,662 --> 00:12:01,753 No! So long, Chubby! Time to hibernate! 224 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,554 No! 225 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,159 I don't wanna play chess anymore! 226 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,161 Stop her! 227 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,262 Halt! 228 00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:11,779 (Mimics neighing) 229 00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:15,751 Get thee to your board or it is off with your head! 230 00:12:15,752 --> 00:12:18,752 No! Stop it! Please! 231 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:24,011 I command you, show me your moves! 232 00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:27,262 Not you two! 233 00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:29,123 Her! 234 00:12:30,722 --> 00:12:33,401 Is that the best you can do? 235 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:35,682 (Screaming) 236 00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:38,944 Zuri, what is the matter? 237 00:12:38,945 --> 00:12:41,852 I just had a terrible chess nightmare. 238 00:12:41,853 --> 00:12:43,837 Jessie was dressed as the Queen, 239 00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:47,857 and she was putting all this pressure on me to win her that trip to Paris. 240 00:12:47,858 --> 00:12:51,405 What do you think that means? 241 00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:56,209 Well, a dream like that can be interpreted many different ways. 242 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,850 - Really? - No! 243 00:12:59,908 --> 00:13:03,000 It is clear that Jessie is freaking you out. 244 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:06,185 Perhaps you should withdraw from the tournament. 245 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,569 But that trip means so much to her. 246 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:13,190 I can't let her down. That's Luke's job. 247 00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:18,743 Then all you can do is try your best, and let the pawns fall where they may. 248 00:13:18,744 --> 00:13:22,269 Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Ravi. 249 00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:25,450 - Night! - Night, Zuri. 250 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,141 (Ravi screaming) 251 00:13:28,142 --> 00:13:29,442 What's wrong? 252 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:30,983 Every once in a while, 253 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:36,884 it slips my mind that I have a giant, man-eating lizard in my room. 254 00:13:39,907 --> 00:13:42,181 This is burglary boot camp. 255 00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:46,118 Your mission is to steal that necklace on the terrace in under one minute. 256 00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:48,154 Ready, set, go! (Timer beeps) 257 00:13:48,155 --> 00:13:50,156 - Take out the guard! - Ha-ya! 258 00:13:50,157 --> 00:13:52,014 (Groans) 259 00:13:52,015 --> 00:13:54,450 Hey, watch it! 260 00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:58,404 Oh, no! Guard dogs! Guard dogs! Guard dogs! 261 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:01,000 Quick, quick, through the vents! 262 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:03,267 Okay, hurry, through the laser grid! 263 00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:05,368 Go! Go! 264 00:14:07,073 --> 00:14:09,653 (Alarm blaring) 265 00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:13,078 Time's up! That was pathetic. 266 00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,630 You're not good at school or crime? 267 00:14:15,631 --> 00:14:19,471 It's a good thing you're rich. 268 00:14:22,022 --> 00:14:25,760 Check it out! I got us matching berets for our trip to Paris! 269 00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:30,462 After the tournament, everyone will be wishing us, "Bon fromage!" 270 00:14:30,463 --> 00:14:33,506 Why would they wish us, "good cheese"? 271 00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:37,383 Whatever. I'll have plenty of time to practice my French on the way over there. 272 00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:39,695 What makes you so sure about that? 273 00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:43,082 Well, it's a long flight and I have this great new translating app. 274 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,427 No, I meant about the little one winning. 275 00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:51,328 You have a better chance of making a "best dressed" list than she does of beating me. 276 00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:56,505 Welcome to the Central Park Chess Tournament! 277 00:14:56,506 --> 00:14:59,508 I am your handsome host, Ravi K. Ross. 278 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,527 I will be your guide through this 279 00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:06,268 white-knuckled world of sitting and thinking! 280 00:15:08,819 --> 00:15:09,975 Ooh! 281 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:13,636 Pawned him like a gold watch! 282 00:15:15,191 --> 00:15:17,951 Zuri! Zuri! Zuri! 283 00:15:18,831 --> 00:15:22,011 And you are done, son! 284 00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:26,587 Checkmate! 285 00:15:26,612 --> 00:15:28,832 Checkmate! 286 00:15:28,837 --> 00:15:31,057 Checkmate! 287 00:15:31,274 --> 00:15:33,442 Checkmate. 288 00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:36,211 - Checkmate! - Ba-boosh! 289 00:15:36,212 --> 00:15:38,447 We have our finalists! 290 00:15:38,448 --> 00:15:42,708 It is cantankerous oldster Clem Brulee! 291 00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:45,673 Versus surprising newcomer... 292 00:15:45,674 --> 00:15:47,954 Zuri Ross! 293 00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:50,290 Woo! 294 00:15:50,291 --> 00:15:52,327 Zuri! Yeah! 295 00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:55,148 Wave time, people! 296 00:15:55,624 --> 00:15:58,984 Oh! You guys are no fun. 297 00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:02,906 (Snorts) (Gasps) 298 00:16:06,242 --> 00:16:08,329 Ah! (Both scream) 299 00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:10,933 You guys know the hardest thing about skydiving? 300 00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:14,416 - (Nervously) What? - The ground. 301 00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:16,619 (Sniggering) 302 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:19,287 We're really gonna jump off the building? 303 00:16:19,288 --> 00:16:21,423 The jewelry store is right across the street. 304 00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:23,391 Why can't we just walk? 305 00:16:23,392 --> 00:16:25,713 The only access point is on the roof. 306 00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:29,364 Plus, you don't get a cool nickname by taking the stairs. 307 00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:33,502 It's time to become The Flying Scoundrels! 308 00:16:33,503 --> 00:16:35,203 Ready? 309 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:36,464 One... 310 00:16:36,465 --> 00:16:38,276 Two, three! 311 00:16:38,277 --> 00:16:39,407 (Both screaming) 312 00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:42,205 We don't want to become criminals! 313 00:16:42,206 --> 00:16:44,918 And not just because I have a parachute wedgie! 314 00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:46,040 (Chuckling) 315 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:50,421 Gotcha! Guys, I'm not the Scuba Bandit. 316 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,703 You're not? 317 00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:57,604 No! In the summer of 1987, I was a counselor at Camp Chub-Away. 318 00:16:58,176 --> 00:17:01,229 Why didn't you just say so in the first place? 319 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,565 One, would you admit to that? 320 00:17:03,566 --> 00:17:07,202 And two, I was tired of you kids invading my privacy 321 00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:09,604 and accusing me of being a criminal. 322 00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:12,861 So, I pretended to be the Scuba Bandit to scare you. 323 00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:15,082 (Giggling) 324 00:17:15,278 --> 00:17:17,312 Well, it totally worked. 325 00:17:17,313 --> 00:17:18,613 Yeah. 326 00:17:18,614 --> 00:17:21,349 Only one problem. (Elevator bell dings) 327 00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:24,619 We were so scared, we kind of called the cops. 328 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,997 (Radio chatter approaching) What? 329 00:17:26,998 --> 00:17:30,718 Hey! Stop! Wait! I'm innocent! 330 00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:34,496 Luke: Sorry, Bertram! 331 00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:37,399 Don't worry, we'll be waiting for you when you get out! 332 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,766 How is that supposed to make me feel better? 333 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,927 (Sobbing) 334 00:17:47,343 --> 00:17:51,513 I must admit, I did not expect someone so young and inexperienced 335 00:17:51,514 --> 00:17:54,394 to be so talented. 336 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:57,875 Thanks. And I didn't expect someone so old 337 00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:01,356 to go this long without going to the bathroom. 338 00:18:01,357 --> 00:18:03,458 Who says I have not, eh? 339 00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:05,319 Ewe! 340 00:18:07,496 --> 00:18:11,466 Hey, I brought you some fruit to keep your energy up. 341 00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:14,946 Send his King to the guillotine. 342 00:18:14,947 --> 00:18:17,673 You play well, little girl, but your lack of training... 343 00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:20,475 (In sing-song voice) Is starting to show. Ah! 344 00:18:20,476 --> 00:18:22,544 Hey, you like apples? 345 00:18:22,545 --> 00:18:25,905 Oh, merci. I love apples. 346 00:18:26,149 --> 00:18:29,284 Good. Because I took your Queen. 347 00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:32,885 How do you like them apples? 348 00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:37,830 "Boom!" Goes the knightamite! 349 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:40,528 Zuri has set him up. He is finished. 350 00:18:40,529 --> 00:18:43,851 In no more than six moves, she will have him in checkmate. 351 00:18:43,852 --> 00:18:47,001 Oh! That's incredible! Or, as they say in Paris, (Beeps) 352 00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:50,482 (Speaking nonsensical French) 353 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:56,812 Jessie, nobody in Paris says "the chickens are shining their shoes." 354 00:18:57,028 --> 00:18:59,728 Stupid free app. 355 00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:06,155 You know, I was just about your age when I start to play this sport. 356 00:19:06,156 --> 00:19:08,717 See? I told you, it is a sport! 357 00:19:08,718 --> 00:19:14,618 But my family, they put too much pressure on me, so I quit and ran away. 358 00:19:15,165 --> 00:19:19,401 Ever since, my soul has been heavier than my mother's souffle. 359 00:19:19,402 --> 00:19:23,062 She is not a very good cook. 360 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,665 That's a sad story. 361 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,738 You should really go see your family. 362 00:19:28,739 --> 00:19:31,127 That is why I play this tournament. 363 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:37,028 If I win this trip, I can go and make my peace with them. Mmm? 364 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:40,155 This is it. She has his King trapped. 365 00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:44,416 All she has to do is move her Queen. 366 00:19:45,228 --> 00:19:47,595 Ravi: (Shouting) Do you believe in miracles? 367 00:19:47,596 --> 00:19:49,456 Huh? 368 00:19:50,499 --> 00:19:52,719 Checkmate! 369 00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:56,504 Do you believe in completely predictable outcomes? 370 00:19:56,505 --> 00:20:00,342 Clem Brulee, the expert, has won! 371 00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:02,563 (Applause) 372 00:20:03,546 --> 00:20:06,006 Adios, Paris. 373 00:20:07,317 --> 00:20:09,451 I'm sorry, Jessie. 374 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,553 It's okay, I know you did your best. 375 00:20:11,554 --> 00:20:13,855 Actually, uh, she let me win. 376 00:20:13,856 --> 00:20:16,892 What? You didn't do your best? 377 00:20:16,893 --> 00:20:21,928 She threw the match so that a poor, old man could go and see his family. 378 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,900 You have done good job with this one. 379 00:20:24,901 --> 00:20:27,241 Merci Zuri. 380 00:20:28,571 --> 00:20:30,339 Au revoir. 381 00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:32,620 Bye, Clem. 382 00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,643 I'm sorry I let you down, Jessie. 383 00:20:35,644 --> 00:20:37,279 (Chuckling) Let me down? 384 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:42,251 You just did a very amazing thing, and I am incredibly proud of you. 385 00:20:42,252 --> 00:20:44,496 I just wish I could be proud of you while stuffing 386 00:20:44,497 --> 00:20:49,358 my face with croissants on the Chomps-Elissies. 387 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,383 Don't worry, I will get to Paris eventually. (Giggles tremulously) 388 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:56,564 You get travel discounts when you're over 65, right? 389 00:20:56,565 --> 00:20:58,725 (Sobbing) 390 00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:00,783 (Beeps) 391 00:21:00,784 --> 00:21:04,359 Hey, dad! Listen, Jessie's never been to Paris. 392 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,627 Can we take the jet this weekend? 393 00:21:06,628 --> 00:21:09,628 Awesome! Thanks, dad! 394 00:21:10,532 --> 00:21:16,432 Now for the love of Pete, can we have a tea party, already? 395 00:21:16,638 --> 00:21:18,506 Oui, oui. 396 00:21:18,507 --> 00:21:20,256 (Squealing in delight) 397 00:21:20,257 --> 00:21:24,121 Oh, Ravi, who are your new friends? 398 00:21:24,122 --> 00:21:26,522 Chess babes! 399 00:21:26,582 --> 00:21:30,062 (In sing-song voice) Score! 400 00:21:31,866 --> 00:21:34,506 Checkmate, Ravi. 401 00:21:37,559 --> 00:21:41,989 Thanks for bailing me out and clearing things up with the police, Jessie. 402 00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:45,950 And thank you even more for this. 403 00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:50,571 Now, remember, whatever Bertram wants, he gets. 404 00:21:50,572 --> 00:21:54,609 May I suggest you have them massage that "mysterious birthmark" on your foot? 405 00:21:54,610 --> 00:21:57,096 Oh, yes. (Sighs in anticipation) 406 00:21:57,097 --> 00:21:59,680 That's cruel and unusual punishment! 407 00:21:59,681 --> 00:22:01,861 Speaking of unusual... 408 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:06,524 I have this giant bunion shaped like Barbra Streisand. 409 00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,562 You'll want to pay her extra attention. 410 00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:11,423 Ewe! 411 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:16,207 Oh, anyway, I hope you two have learned your lesson. 412 00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:21,996 Oh, toats, we're never going to let our imaginations get the best of us again. 413 00:22:21,997 --> 00:22:24,257 Next on unresolved felonys, 414 00:22:24,258 --> 00:22:27,393 police continue their hunt for the elusive Sweetheart Bandidt. 415 00:22:27,394 --> 00:22:30,824 Here is the last known photo of her. 416 00:22:30,825 --> 00:22:33,705 - Jessie! - Jessie! 417 00:22:35,057 --> 00:22:37,909 You call the cops, I'll get some duct tape and a rope. 418 00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:40,130 No, stop! 419 00:22:40,645 --> 00:22:43,522 You didn't bring me napkins. 420 00:22:43,523 --> 00:22:49,423 Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend. 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