1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,735
- Subs created by: David Coleman.
- Bertram: No, no, no!
2
00:00:07,736 --> 00:00:10,785
You just have to watch the
kids for one measly weekend.
3
00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:12,053
Please?
4
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,834
No! Walking away. Don't follow.
5
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,550
You're following.
6
00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:21,734
Bertram, it's a big deal
that my dad invited me home.
7
00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:25,624
He was really mad when I left for New
York instead of joining the military.
8
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,694
But just think how
glad the military was.
9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,903
Please. This is my chance
to clear the air with him,
10
00:00:31,904 --> 00:00:34,159
and prove that I made
the right decision.
11
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,602
By being a failed actress
and a mediocre nanny?
12
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:37,703
[Chuckling]
13
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,405
Okay, I may not have
joined the military,
14
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,673
but I can still snap your
windpipe with one finger.
15
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:44,743
Better that than taking
care of those monsters.
16
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,645
Please! They're such good kids.
17
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,414
What could possibly go wrong?
18
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,735
- Three!
- Two!
19
00:00:49,736 --> 00:00:52,451
- One!
- Blast off!
20
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,732
[Exploding]
21
00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:02,613
That.
22
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,532
I can't believe we
blew up the water tower.
23
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,633
Awesome!
24
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,471
Ravi, you said it would
only go up 15 feet!
25
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:16,367
Oops. It turns out rocket
science is as difficult as...
26
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:19,368
Well, rocket science.
27
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:23,615
On the plus side, now
we have a skylight.
28
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,820
Jessie, we are very sorry.
29
00:01:25,821 --> 00:01:27,952
Please do not send us to our rooms,
30
00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:33,185
especially since the structural integrity
of the roof has been compromised.
31
00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:35,297
Oh, you're not going to your rooms.
32
00:01:35,298 --> 00:01:38,464
You're going to spend this
weekend on a military base.
33
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,399
In Texas!
34
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,980
[Shrieking] No!
35
00:01:43,141 --> 00:01:46,421
♪Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh.
36
00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:49,782
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
37
00:01:50,082 --> 00:01:53,680
♪It feels like a party every day.
38
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,041
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
39
00:01:57,122 --> 00:02:00,925
♪But they keep on
pulling me every which way.
40
00:02:00,926 --> 00:02:04,184
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
41
00:02:04,185 --> 00:02:07,531
♪My whole world is
changing. Turning around.
42
00:02:07,532 --> 00:02:11,364
♪They got me going crazy.
Yeah, they're shaking the ground.
43
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:15,072
♪But they took a chance
on the new girl in town.
44
00:02:15,073 --> 00:02:18,656
♪And I don't want to
let them down, down, down.
45
00:02:18,657 --> 00:02:21,177
♪Hey Jessie.
46
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,600
♪Hey Jessie.
47
00:02:25,851 --> 00:02:29,402
♪It feels like a party every day.
48
00:02:29,403 --> 00:02:33,423
♪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie.
49
00:02:36,471 --> 00:02:39,171
[Blowing whistle]
50
00:02:39,574 --> 00:02:42,874
- March.
- Soldiers: Hut.
51
00:02:43,212 --> 00:02:44,952
[Commanding officer
speaking indistinctly]
52
00:02:44,953 --> 00:02:46,825
Soldiers: Hut.
53
00:02:46,826 --> 00:02:50,796
It's so hot, I think my
freckles are melting off.
54
00:02:50,797 --> 00:02:54,733
It's like the surface of
the sun, but with humidity!
55
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:57,364
For Texas in August,
this is a cold snap.
56
00:02:57,365 --> 00:03:00,772
For great barbecue, it's
worth it. [Chuckling]
57
00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:03,467
I'm gonna find the nearest
all you-can-eat rib shack,
58
00:03:03,468 --> 00:03:08,256
and by the time I'm done, they'll
have enough bones to build a dinosaur!
59
00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:09,453
[Growls]
60
00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:11,734
[Screaming]
61
00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:16,242
Jessie, were you not
popular here on the base?
62
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:18,277
The men seem to be fleeing from you.
63
00:03:18,278 --> 00:03:21,413
Just like the men in New York.
64
00:03:21,414 --> 00:03:23,249
They're fleeing from the dang lizard!
65
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,762
[Mrs. Kipling growling]
66
00:03:25,763 --> 00:03:28,476
Well, here's our barracks.
67
00:03:28,477 --> 00:03:30,404
Barracks?
68
00:03:30,405 --> 00:03:34,536
I hope that's military for
"ugly building near our hotel".
69
00:03:34,537 --> 00:03:36,572
Well, if you don't like
it, you can sleep outside.
70
00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:42,064
Although the state bird of Texas is the
vulture, so I wouldn't lie too still.
71
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:45,965
Why couldn't you be from Hawaii?
72
00:03:47,313 --> 00:03:51,449
Well, you scared her in there,
but now you'll never get her out.
73
00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:54,219
We're on a military base.
I have access to tear gas.
74
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:59,620
After that three-bean
burrito on the plane, so do I.
75
00:04:01,393 --> 00:04:05,263
Ooh, I love bunk beds. I call top!
76
00:04:05,264 --> 00:04:07,265
It'll take him all weekend
just to get up there.
77
00:04:07,266 --> 00:04:08,195
[Grunts]
78
00:04:08,196 --> 00:04:10,561
I got it. I got it.
79
00:04:10,562 --> 00:04:13,322
I don't got it.
80
00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:15,697
See.
81
00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:19,244
I can't wait for you guys to meet
my dad, but please, please behave.
82
00:04:19,245 --> 00:04:21,738
I need him to see that my
moving to New York was not...
83
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:25,150
"The worst mistake since we
gave back the Panama Canal!"
84
00:04:25,151 --> 00:04:28,708
We promise. But if you want to
convince your father you're doing well,
85
00:04:28,709 --> 00:04:32,157
maybe you shouldn't
mention your acting career.
86
00:04:32,158 --> 00:04:35,368
Unless he's impressed with a
callback for a foot fungus commercial.
87
00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:37,005
[Laughs]
88
00:04:37,006 --> 00:04:38,767
I should have gotten that!
89
00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:41,366
Lousy hammer toes.
90
00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:43,836
[Emma screaming]
91
00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:46,057
Both: Ow!
92
00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:48,647
What is it? A tarantula? Rattler?
93
00:04:48,648 --> 00:04:51,735
One of those giant hairy
beetles with the freaky eyes?
94
00:04:51,736 --> 00:04:55,041
Worse! The bathroom has no
shelf space for my make-up,
95
00:04:55,042 --> 00:04:57,537
no towel warmer, and eight toilets!
96
00:04:57,538 --> 00:05:00,298
With no dividers!
97
00:05:00,727 --> 00:05:03,663
Emma, not everyone in the
world has a private bath.
98
00:05:03,664 --> 00:05:07,400
That's a world I don't want to live in.
99
00:05:07,401 --> 00:05:09,624
I can't believe you
survived growing up here.
100
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,162
Survived? I loved it.
101
00:05:11,163 --> 00:05:13,198
My mom used to drive
me to school in a tank.
102
00:05:13,199 --> 00:05:16,201
She never had to wait
in the drop-off line.
103
00:05:16,202 --> 00:05:18,643
You know, you don't
talk about your mom much.
104
00:05:18,644 --> 00:05:21,106
- What was she like?
- Oh, she was the best.
105
00:05:21,107 --> 00:05:26,444
She was sweet, and loving, and we
always did fun girl stuff together.
106
00:05:26,445 --> 00:05:29,247
I remember when she bought
me my first make-up kit.
107
00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:33,858
I remember when my mom bought
me my first make-up company.
108
00:05:33,859 --> 00:05:36,608
When my mom was done putting it
on me, she said I looked beautiful.
109
00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:37,495
[Laughs]
110
00:05:37,496 --> 00:05:40,761
But then my dad got worried about
boys, and made me wear camouflage.
111
00:05:40,762 --> 00:05:44,962
I looked like a bush with cheekbones.
112
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:51,169
Stand straight, you miserable maggots!
113
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:54,239
Oh, did I spit on you, son?
114
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,820
Tough toenails!
115
00:05:57,554 --> 00:06:02,714
Okay, men, fan out. See
if you can take me down.
116
00:06:04,361 --> 00:06:06,581
[Grunting]
117
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:11,098
- Dad!
- Jessie!
118
00:06:17,106 --> 00:06:18,474
I've really missed you.
119
00:06:18,475 --> 00:06:20,443
I've missed you too, Pumpkin.
120
00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,049
Oh, you look great.
121
00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:23,446
So sophisticated.
122
00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:28,724
Thank you. In New York, I buy clothes at
a store that doesn't also sell grenades.
123
00:06:28,725 --> 00:06:30,848
I'm sorry, I couldn't
pick you up at the airport.
124
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,069
[Grunting]
125
00:06:33,536 --> 00:06:35,576
[Yells]
126
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,354
Work's just really been piling up.
127
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:40,608
So how'd you know I was here?
128
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:44,311
Oh, I just followed the line of
soldiers heading to the infirmary.
129
00:06:44,312 --> 00:06:46,669
Well, welcome home.
130
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,878
Sure took you long enough
to come back to visit.
131
00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:51,607
Well, this is the first
time you've asked me back.
132
00:06:51,608 --> 00:06:53,543
I thought you were
still mad that I left.
133
00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:55,611
Mad? Why should I be mad?
134
00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:59,482
Just because you snuck off to New York
while I was getting my tank detailed?
135
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,405
I didn't sneak. That's sneaking.
136
00:07:01,406 --> 00:07:03,506
[Grunts]
137
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:09,035
See how much fun this is?
138
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:11,081
The Army rocks!
139
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:14,091
I still don't understand why you
don't wanna follow in my footsteps.
140
00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:16,360
Your footsteps lead to a minefield.
141
00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:18,688
I wanted to make my own choice.
142
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,872
I gave you plenty of choices!
143
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,910
Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.
144
00:07:22,911 --> 00:07:24,441
Yeah, don't forget the Coast Guard.
145
00:07:24,442 --> 00:07:27,982
Exactly! There, see? Choices!
146
00:07:28,306 --> 00:07:32,143
Dad, for the last time,
I'm artistic and creative.
147
00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:33,670
I'm not cut out to be a soldier.
148
00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:35,891
[Grunting]
149
00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:42,028
Bet that comes in handy on the subway.
150
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,168
You know, the way you
flipped that private...
151
00:07:44,169 --> 00:07:46,829
Reminds me of my first date
with your mom at the drive-in.
152
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:49,434
Aw, is it because you were
head over heels for her?
153
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:53,431
Nah, I leaned in for a kiss, and she
tossed me into the pick-up truck behind us.
154
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:57,134
Woke up, I was AWOL in Oklahoma.
155
00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:58,475
Mom was feisty.
156
00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:02,616
That's why I always did the dishes.
157
00:08:02,814 --> 00:08:04,609
Hey, guys, look what I found?
158
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:05,459
[Gasps]
159
00:08:05,460 --> 00:08:08,179
Whoa. Check out this ATV.
160
00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,887
I have got to drive it.
161
00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:12,844
I am sure that is not
allowed. Tell him, Emma.
162
00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:16,120
- Let's drive it to a five-star resort.
- [Laughs] Yes.
163
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,457
Not the prudent, mature
response I was looking for.
164
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,093
Besides, we would never get permission.
165
00:08:22,094 --> 00:08:24,195
What's the point of getting permission?
166
00:08:24,196 --> 00:08:27,198
We ask. They say no. We do it anyway.
167
00:08:27,199 --> 00:08:31,339
Might as well cut out the middleman.
168
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:36,820
So, dad, I'm really looking forward to
spending some time with you this weekend.
169
00:08:36,821 --> 00:08:38,749
Me too. Oh, and great news.
170
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,639
Your old friend, Darla, is here.
171
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,645
Friend? She threw me down a well!
172
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:45,692
Darla Shannon is evil.
173
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:49,656
When the Devil makes a bad decision,
it's because he has Darla on his shoulder!
174
00:08:49,657 --> 00:08:51,222
[Clears throat]
175
00:08:51,223 --> 00:08:55,025
Jessie, you remember Colonel
Shannon, my commanding officer.
176
00:08:55,026 --> 00:08:57,786
And Darla's mom.
177
00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,183
Sure.
178
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:03,829
You know, when I said Darla was
evil, I meant it as a compliment.
179
00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:06,950
Evil as in "e-ville".
180
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,970
That's what the kids are saying.
181
00:09:08,971 --> 00:09:10,792
And I'm a kid. I mean sort of.
182
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:13,703
I mean, compared to
you. Not that you're old.
183
00:09:13,704 --> 00:09:16,247
Does she have an off switch?
184
00:09:16,248 --> 00:09:20,568
Nope. I just used to crank up the TV.
185
00:09:20,641 --> 00:09:24,580
So, Jessie, last time I saw you, you
were doing the backstroke in a well.
186
00:09:24,581 --> 00:09:26,954
- Yeah, because your daughter pushed me...
- [Clears throat]
187
00:09:26,955 --> 00:09:30,466
To become such a good swimmer.
188
00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:33,990
Oh, yeah. She's a giver. You
know, she's a flight attendant now.
189
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:38,402
And every time she comes home,
she brings me little sacks of nuts.
190
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:41,985
- She's quite a gal.
- Yes, she is.
191
00:09:41,986 --> 00:09:45,176
Please, she's a squirrel
with a beverage cart.
192
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:48,897
- Luke: Yay!
- [Kids screaming]
193
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,185
Sweet Stonewall Jackson!
194
00:09:54,186 --> 00:09:56,287
[Screaming] No!
195
00:09:56,288 --> 00:09:59,356
Get this soldier off of me!
196
00:09:59,357 --> 00:10:03,529
Hey, it could've been worse.
He could've been on a horse.
197
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:04,645
Ugh.
198
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,698
That statue has stood
there for 70 years.
199
00:10:07,699 --> 00:10:12,303
Then he's probably
happy to take a load off.
200
00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:14,798
So, when I say, "stay in
the barracks and unpack".
201
00:10:14,799 --> 00:10:19,558
You hear, "go for a joyride
and mow down a monument"?
202
00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:24,215
You have to admit, what we hear is
a lot more fun than what you say.
203
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:28,185
Why are you driving my
Battle Attack Transport?
204
00:10:28,186 --> 00:10:30,454
Jessie, are these your kids?
205
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,375
Nope.
206
00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:34,701
Ugh, okay.
207
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:39,230
Emma, Luke, Ravi, Zuri, this is my
dad, Lieutenant Colonel Prescott.
208
00:10:39,231 --> 00:10:41,794
And Colonel Shannon, the post commander.
209
00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:44,737
Oh, can either of you get me
a room with a private bath?
210
00:10:44,738 --> 00:10:47,256
Or at least a toilet with a seat?
211
00:10:47,257 --> 00:10:49,391
I'm a Colonel, not a concierge.
212
00:10:49,392 --> 00:10:53,228
I do not deal with potty problems!
213
00:10:53,229 --> 00:10:54,881
Then can we talk about the thread count?
214
00:10:54,882 --> 00:10:58,166
Because single digits
is totes unacceptable.
215
00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:01,287
- [Barking]
- [Hissing]
216
00:11:01,304 --> 00:11:02,949
[Whimpering]
217
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,750
No!
218
00:11:05,353 --> 00:11:10,212
You keep that overgrown
iguana away from my Patton!
219
00:11:10,213 --> 00:11:12,213
She is not an iguana!
220
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:17,870
And it is not my fault that your pet
looks like a big, fat, wrinkly rat!
221
00:11:17,871 --> 00:11:22,311
Believe it or not, he's the polite one.
222
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,623
[Music]
223
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:31,209
So, yesterday you broke the penthouse.
224
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:32,746
Today, you broke a statue.
225
00:11:32,747 --> 00:11:34,486
What are you planning
on breaking tomorrow?
226
00:11:34,487 --> 00:11:38,991
Not sure. We kind of
like to play it by ear.
227
00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:41,839
Sorry Jessie, but that
B.A.T. was so cool.
228
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,896
It was calling to me.
229
00:11:43,897 --> 00:11:46,264
Well, next time pretend
it's me and ignore it.
230
00:11:46,265 --> 00:11:48,965
What'd you say?
231
00:11:49,256 --> 00:11:52,018
Well, I just got the
short end of the short rib.
232
00:11:52,019 --> 00:11:55,155
That all-you-can-eat
barbecue place is closed down.
233
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:57,023
They probably heard you were coming.
234
00:11:57,024 --> 00:12:00,924
[Both speaking gibberish mockingly]
235
00:12:01,028 --> 00:12:03,929
Ugh! Is this food or spackle?
236
00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:07,307
Is that your head or is
your neck blowing a bubble?
237
00:12:07,308 --> 00:12:09,237
Hey, watch it, Mister!
238
00:12:09,238 --> 00:12:10,419
I'm a woman!
239
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:14,560
That would have been my third guess.
240
00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:21,724
Ugh. There's nothing
here that looks good.
241
00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:24,065
Except him!
242
00:12:26,987 --> 00:12:29,889
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
243
00:12:29,890 --> 00:12:33,193
Yeah, I'm saving it for the
prettiest girl in the room.
244
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:35,414
Oh, okay.
245
00:12:35,829 --> 00:12:37,749
Wait.
246
00:12:38,098 --> 00:12:40,032
I meant you.
247
00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:41,934
I'm Caleb.
248
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,337
And I'm...
249
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:45,978
- Uh...
- Emma.
250
00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:50,109
Right, Emma.
251
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:55,510
But you can call me Mrs.
Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is.
252
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,085
Ugh. What is this?
253
00:12:59,086 --> 00:13:03,055
It's juice, from that fruit that
grows out on the nuclear test site.
254
00:13:03,056 --> 00:13:05,057
When you pick it, it screams.
255
00:13:05,058 --> 00:13:07,098
[Spits]
256
00:13:08,128 --> 00:13:11,518
Hey, want to sneak back to the kitchen
and I'll make us some grilled cheese?
257
00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:12,677
That's my fave!
258
00:13:12,678 --> 00:13:15,499
- Especially with...
- Both: Tomato.
259
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,651
It's like you can see into my soul.
260
00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:22,730
Yeah, that's a side effect
of the nuclear juice.
261
00:13:22,731 --> 00:13:23,976
Ewe.
262
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:26,879
These mashed potatoes
are runnier than my nose.
263
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,396
- Zuri, you have to eat something.
- No!
264
00:13:29,397 --> 00:13:32,231
No, Zuri, you have to
drink these mashed potatoes.
265
00:13:32,232 --> 00:13:34,032
No!
266
00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,122
[Laughs]
267
00:13:38,825 --> 00:13:40,865
Jessie?
268
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:44,239
Jessie Prescott? Is that you?
269
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,338
Aha! I see you're still having
trouble with your table manners.
270
00:13:49,339 --> 00:13:51,679
Hey, Darla.
271
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:55,344
Nice to see you, too.
272
00:13:55,345 --> 00:13:56,991
That's Darla?
273
00:13:56,992 --> 00:13:58,999
She doesn't look like a witch.
274
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,119
Oh, yeah? Throw some water on her
and we can send her home in a bucket.
275
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,760
[Both chuckling]
276
00:14:05,922 --> 00:14:08,684
- I see you're still baby-sitting.
- Mmm.
277
00:14:08,685 --> 00:14:11,315
What happened to that big acting
career you were gonna have?
278
00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:14,318
Oh, it's going well. It just takes time.
279
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:17,499
Talent might help, too.
280
00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:21,379
Meanwhile, I've been traveling all
over the world as a flight attendant.
281
00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:26,951
Really? Because I heard you're
on the Galveston to Amarillo run.
282
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:30,087
I'm just glad I don't have a job where
I have to run around waiting on people.
283
00:14:30,088 --> 00:14:32,857
- Jessie, I need milk!
- Jessie, take my tray!
284
00:14:32,858 --> 00:14:35,766
Jessie, my nose is still running!
285
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,625
Well, at least they are calling you.
286
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:41,706
Unlike all the boys in high school.
287
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:46,447
Hey, that's my lady you're talking to.
288
00:14:47,869 --> 00:14:50,426
- You finally did catch a man.
- Mm hm.
289
00:14:50,427 --> 00:14:56,327
But this one is so small, you
might want to throw him back.
290
00:14:59,084 --> 00:15:01,244
[Snoring]
291
00:15:03,255 --> 00:15:05,055
Aw.
292
00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:09,556
- [Playing fanfare]
- [All screaming]
293
00:15:13,766 --> 00:15:15,986
[Spitting]
294
00:15:16,258 --> 00:15:18,002
Do you have a snooze button?
295
00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:20,600
Because I'd slap it silly!
296
00:15:20,601 --> 00:15:22,469
It's 5:00 A.M.
297
00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:27,773
There better be presents under a
tree, or things are going to get ugly!
298
00:15:27,774 --> 00:15:29,814
Uglier.
299
00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,915
Welcome to my world.
300
00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:36,018
On an Army base, we do
morning calisthenics.
301
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,072
Because, when in Rome...
302
00:15:38,073 --> 00:15:41,175
When in Rome, I go
shopping, not exercising!
303
00:15:41,176 --> 00:15:44,045
The only thing that
sweats is my credit card.
304
00:15:44,046 --> 00:15:47,114
Listen, I want to show my dad that
even though I didn't join the Army,
305
00:15:47,115 --> 00:15:48,600
I'm still a good leader.
306
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,362
So your plan to look good
in front of your father
307
00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:54,706
is for me to show off
my athletic prowess?
308
00:15:54,707 --> 00:15:58,430
Last week he dislocated his
shoulder lifting a glass of milk.
309
00:15:58,431 --> 00:15:59,985
[Cracking]
310
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:04,066
Good point. Ravi, stay in the back.
311
00:16:08,695 --> 00:16:10,796
Ewe, ewe, ewe.
312
00:16:10,797 --> 00:16:13,917
The grass is all wet!
313
00:16:13,963 --> 00:16:16,063
[Coughs]
314
00:16:16,803 --> 00:16:22,703
And worse, I think this is where
Patton "dropped off the troops".
315
00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:25,601
Guys, it's not that hard!
316
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:28,435
I think I just swallowed a slug.
317
00:16:28,436 --> 00:16:30,143
[Luke snoring]
318
00:16:30,144 --> 00:16:32,545
Jessie, is your squad asleep?
319
00:16:32,546 --> 00:16:35,786
No! No. No. They're
just, uh, taking cover.
320
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,867
You know, in case of enemy attack.
321
00:16:38,868 --> 00:16:41,617
Good work, soldiers!
322
00:16:41,618 --> 00:16:43,898
[Grumbling]
323
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:48,083
I heard you were bickering
with Darla yesterday.
324
00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:51,269
Can't you try to get along with
my commanding officer's daughter?
325
00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:54,306
Darla threw me down a well!
326
00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,274
What do you want me to do, kiss her?
327
00:16:56,275 --> 00:16:59,277
Just try to get along
with Darla, please?
328
00:16:59,278 --> 00:17:03,042
You owe me. Especially after your
kids destroyed that expensive statue.
329
00:17:03,043 --> 00:17:06,151
Can't they just write you
a check? They're loaded.
330
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:07,799
Yeah, they are loaded and weak.
331
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,907
They are not weak.
332
00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:15,608
Jessie, I believe I aggravated
my old milk-lifting injury.
333
00:17:18,783 --> 00:17:24,158
What part of "stay in the
back" do you not understand?
334
00:17:24,159 --> 00:17:26,771
♪Gorgonzola, mozzarella.
335
00:17:26,772 --> 00:17:30,609
♪Cheese makes me a happy fella.
336
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:32,410
Ah!
337
00:17:32,831 --> 00:17:34,165
What are you doing in my kitchen?
338
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:36,767
Making food that
actually has some flavor.
339
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:39,937
Not everything should taste like brown.
340
00:17:39,938 --> 00:17:42,142
Hey, that was hurtful.
341
00:17:42,143 --> 00:17:43,410
But not as hurtful as this.
342
00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:47,191
Ow! You just purpled my nurple!
343
00:17:47,812 --> 00:17:50,450
Serves you right for
criticizing my cuisine.
344
00:17:50,451 --> 00:17:52,196
I'd like to see you do better.
345
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,550
Challenge accepted. Pass me a colander.
346
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,891
[Clattering]
347
00:17:59,468 --> 00:18:02,437
- Here.
- Ugh! Urgh!
348
00:18:02,438 --> 00:18:05,168
This explains why your
pasta had dandruff.
349
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,749
Oh, actually, that was me.
350
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,666
What am I supposed
to do, wear a hairnet?
351
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,527
Yes!
352
00:18:11,636 --> 00:18:13,306
♪ I don't know but I've been told...
353
00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:15,206
Kids:♪Exercise is getting old!
354
00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:18,507
Good rhyme, bad attitude.
355
00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:29,545
- I thought you were gonna stop.
- I thought you were gonna stop.
356
00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:31,889
Aw, we both thought the same thing!
357
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:35,025
And now we have matching forehead bumps!
358
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:37,895
Emma, what are you doing
with Darla's brother?
359
00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:40,480
Watching his eyes
sparkle in the sunlight.
360
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,660
See, it's happening right now.
361
00:18:42,661 --> 00:18:45,197
And now! And now!
362
00:18:45,198 --> 00:18:46,589
- Caleb!
- [Patton whimpers]
363
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:49,867
Stay away from them! You don't want
to be seen with these weaklings.
364
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:53,871
Who you calling weak? You should see this
one tear through the Mall on Black Friday.
365
00:18:53,872 --> 00:18:56,974
I sharpen my nails with
diamonds the night before.
366
00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:59,610
I love a girl who fights
for what she wants.
367
00:18:59,611 --> 00:19:01,679
I'd shop for you in
the hunks department.
368
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,105
- Darla and Jessie: Knock it off!
- Caleb and Emma: Why?
369
00:19:04,106 --> 00:19:07,229
Because the Prescotts and the
Shannons are sworn enemies.
370
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,216
But I'm not a Prescott or a Shannon!
371
00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:12,139
Oh, there's a babysitting clause
in the feud. It's complicated.
372
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:14,390
But trust me, you're covered.
373
00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:16,102
But I really like Caleb.
374
00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:18,897
Well, tough. You can't
go against the feud.
375
00:19:18,898 --> 00:19:23,229
Ha! Which has gone back for years and
years, all the way to the 20th century.
376
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,231
I don't even know why
our families are fighting.
377
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:28,000
It all started when
our Grandpappy Shannon
378
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,899
loaned Old Man Prescott a corn
picker, and he returned it broken.
379
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,467
It was already broken!
380
00:19:33,468 --> 00:19:36,275
Your grandpappy lied to try
to get a new corn picker.
381
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,272
That's why they called
him Shifty Shannon.
382
00:19:38,273 --> 00:19:39,791
But that's all ancient history.
383
00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:43,315
No one even remembers the 20th century!
384
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:48,120
Well, I do remember when Jessie
borrowed and broke my Queasy Bake Oven.
385
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:52,091
- It was already broken!
- Typical Prescott.
386
00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:54,103
Well, Caleb and I don't
care about your shifty
387
00:19:54,104 --> 00:19:56,596
grandpappys and their
queasy corn pickers!
388
00:19:56,597 --> 00:19:59,131
Then you're no Prescott!
389
00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:03,135
Correct! Despite whatever
paperwork you have to the contrary!
390
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,070
[Growls]
391
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:08,207
- [Whimpering]
- [Romantic music playing]
392
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,177
- [Whipping]
- [Record scratching]
393
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:16,115
See? Even Mrs. Kipling's tiny
lizard brain understands the feud!
394
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:18,096
Sorry.
395
00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:22,583
Caleb, stay away from Emma, okay?
396
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:26,493
Like all us cool kids stayed
away from Jessie in high school.
397
00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:27,891
[Smirks]
398
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:30,052
Come on.
399
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:33,489
Like I wanted to hang
out with you anyway!
400
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,282
In the jerk lounge.
401
00:20:35,283 --> 00:20:38,463
Because you're a jerk.
402
00:20:38,716 --> 00:20:40,499
Jessie!
403
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,953
I can't believe you said that!
404
00:20:41,954 --> 00:20:45,021
I know. I should have
gone with "loser lounge".
405
00:20:45,022 --> 00:20:47,758
I mean, I can't believe
you just insulted her.
406
00:20:47,759 --> 00:20:51,996
I can't believe you and
Darla are ruining my life.
407
00:20:51,997 --> 00:20:55,967
Okay, she didn't break it
down, but it's like 95% Darla.
408
00:20:55,968 --> 00:20:58,836
I specifically told you
to get along with Darla.
409
00:20:58,837 --> 00:21:01,517
And once again, you can't
follow a simple order.
410
00:21:01,518 --> 00:21:04,259
You're my dad, not my Drill Sergeant.
411
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,083
You can't order me around anymore.
412
00:21:06,084 --> 00:21:07,939
- I'm an adult.
- Oh, really?
413
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:12,247
- Because you're sure acting like a child.
- Nuh-uh! She started it!
414
00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:14,948
I rest my case.
415
00:21:15,053 --> 00:21:17,622
You know, I was really hoping
we wouldn't argue this weekend,
416
00:21:17,623 --> 00:21:21,210
but instead, we're right
back where we left off.
417
00:21:21,211 --> 00:21:26,491
This visit's turning out
to be pretty disappointing.
418
00:21:30,327 --> 00:21:32,367
[Music]
419
00:21:35,267 --> 00:21:38,461
I never saw anyone coming
back for seconds of your gruel.
420
00:21:38,462 --> 00:21:40,293
Ugh! I don't get it.
421
00:21:40,294 --> 00:21:42,594
What does your food
have that mine doesn't?
422
00:21:42,595 --> 00:21:47,035
Hmm... flavor, texture,
fewer fingernails.
423
00:21:48,135 --> 00:21:52,749
I need three gallons of Neapolitan
and a weapons-grade spoon.
424
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:55,754
Sorry, tonight's dessert
is mini fruit compotes.
425
00:21:55,755 --> 00:21:58,155
That'll do.
426
00:21:58,546 --> 00:22:00,867
You're not gonna
believe what's going on.
427
00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:04,451
I'm not gonna care either. I'm busy.
428
00:22:04,452 --> 00:22:07,320
I came back here to smooth
things over with my dad but,
429
00:22:07,321 --> 00:22:10,390
all he seems to care about
is if I connect with Darla.
430
00:22:10,391 --> 00:22:13,902
When all I wanna do is connect
her face to a hornets' nest.
431
00:22:13,903 --> 00:22:16,363
No! I'm not actually gonna do it.
432
00:22:16,364 --> 00:22:18,531
It wouldn't be fair to the hornets.
433
00:22:18,532 --> 00:22:21,614
I meant no, don't drown
my chicken in sauce!
434
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:25,995
- Drizzle it!
- Oh, you mean like this?
435
00:22:26,274 --> 00:22:29,309
Hey, you spilled that on
my fake designer shoes!
436
00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:33,000
You owe me 20 bucks. Plus shipping!
437
00:22:33,001 --> 00:22:35,911
Does this one ever stop
yakking about her problems?
438
00:22:35,912 --> 00:22:39,092
No. Just wait till she starts
in about her ex-boyfriends.
439
00:22:39,093 --> 00:22:41,414
[Sarcastically] She's
single? I'm shocked.
440
00:22:41,415 --> 00:22:43,995
[Both laughing]
441
00:22:43,997 --> 00:22:46,092
Thanks for the sympathy.
442
00:22:46,093 --> 00:22:51,133
Hey, take it easy. I
only made 3,000 of those.
443
00:22:52,466 --> 00:22:54,999
- Hey!
- [Gasps]
444
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,852
[Groans]
445
00:22:55,853 --> 00:22:58,973
Caleb, I am so sorry.
446
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:02,043
- Did I hurt you?
- Oh, no, I'm fine.
447
00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:03,622
The uh...
448
00:23:03,623 --> 00:23:06,088
Thorns broke my fall.
449
00:23:06,089 --> 00:23:08,348
Aw, they're beautiful.
450
00:23:08,349 --> 00:23:09,718
I love...
451
00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:11,699
Stems.
452
00:23:11,876 --> 00:23:14,354
Did Jessie teach you that
move for self-defense?
453
00:23:14,355 --> 00:23:18,358
No, to get to the front row
of a One Direction concert.
454
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:19,818
Yeah, sorry I'm late.
455
00:23:19,819 --> 00:23:21,674
I had to sneak past Darla.
456
00:23:21,675 --> 00:23:25,332
We don't have long, because every hour
she finds me and serves me a beverage.
457
00:23:25,333 --> 00:23:28,501
And offers me a tiny, useless pillow.
458
00:23:28,502 --> 00:23:32,145
It's not fair that we have to sneak
around because of their stupid feud.
459
00:23:32,146 --> 00:23:36,038
I know. It's like we're the
original star-crossed lovers.
460
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,344
Bella and Edward?
461
00:23:37,345 --> 00:23:38,990
No.
462
00:23:38,991 --> 00:23:40,933
Romeo and Juliet.
463
00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:43,194
"'Tis but my name that is my enemy".
464
00:23:43,195 --> 00:23:46,219
"That which we call a Ross"...
465
00:23:46,220 --> 00:23:49,422
"By any other name,
would smell as sweet".
466
00:23:49,423 --> 00:23:52,359
Roses are red violets are blue...
467
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:56,440
You talk pretty. Me likey you, too.
468
00:23:56,957 --> 00:23:59,695
[Mrs. Kipling growling]
469
00:23:59,696 --> 00:24:02,336
[Patton whining]
470
00:24:06,273 --> 00:24:08,441
Looks like he's finally
winning her over.
471
00:24:08,442 --> 00:24:11,382
Girls love uniforms.
472
00:24:11,953 --> 00:24:16,523
I haven't been this bored since Ravi
told us about his summer at math camp.
473
00:24:16,524 --> 00:24:20,664
We got to play Capture the Fraction!
474
00:24:22,523 --> 00:24:24,683
Look, the B.A.T.
475
00:24:24,684 --> 00:24:29,424
Well, clearly, faith
has brought this to us.
476
00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:33,830
No, no. It was that soldier.
477
00:24:34,268 --> 00:24:37,851
Guys, Jessie has specifically
told us not to drive the B.A.T.
478
00:24:37,852 --> 00:24:39,005
I don't remember that.
479
00:24:39,006 --> 00:24:42,426
She wrote it on your arm!
480
00:24:44,034 --> 00:24:49,314
Oh, yeah. But I'm sure
she didn't really mean it.
481
00:24:51,464 --> 00:24:52,316
[Scoffs]
482
00:24:52,317 --> 00:24:55,775
Doesn't count, she knows I don't read.
483
00:24:55,776 --> 00:24:58,157
Plus, you could've taken a bath.
484
00:24:58,158 --> 00:25:00,678
[All laughing]
485
00:25:03,681 --> 00:25:07,979
Let the record state, I'm reluctantly
succumbing to vicious peer pressure.
486
00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:09,977
We don't care if you come or not.
487
00:25:09,978 --> 00:25:13,038
Quit twisting my arm!
488
00:25:16,243 --> 00:25:19,211
Wow! This thing even
has a microwave oven.
489
00:25:19,212 --> 00:25:20,379
Where?
490
00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:23,382
Right here, next to the toaster!
491
00:25:23,383 --> 00:25:27,353
That is our tax dollars hard at work.
492
00:25:27,354 --> 00:25:30,356
Zuri, help me find popcorn.
Ravi, keep a lookout.
493
00:25:30,357 --> 00:25:35,637
I strongly suggest we refrain
from touching anything.
494
00:25:37,264 --> 00:25:41,854
Luke: That goop is
sticking her to the wall!
495
00:25:41,855 --> 00:25:43,895
[Spits]
496
00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:47,273
Did you not hear the word "refrain"?
497
00:25:47,274 --> 00:25:49,490
I heard it, I just
don't know what it means.
498
00:25:49,491 --> 00:25:50,800
Jessie: Darla?
499
00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:53,526
I told you guys not
to go near that thing.
500
00:25:53,527 --> 00:25:56,628
No, you said not to drive it.
501
00:25:56,629 --> 00:25:58,909
Exhibit A!
502
00:25:59,386 --> 00:26:00,630
Prescott: Jessie!
503
00:26:00,631 --> 00:26:02,611
Oh, my stars and stripes!
504
00:26:02,612 --> 00:26:04,223
Dar-Dar, is that you?
505
00:26:04,224 --> 00:26:06,468
Yes, mommy! Look what they did to me!
506
00:26:06,469 --> 00:26:10,970
Oh, dear. You look like one of
those hideous aliens from area 51.
507
00:26:10,971 --> 00:26:12,465
[Gasps]
508
00:26:12,466 --> 00:26:14,233
Which completely does not exist.
509
00:26:14,234 --> 00:26:16,335
And if any of you dare to
mention this conversation,
510
00:26:16,336 --> 00:26:20,716
there will be a probing in your future.
511
00:26:21,274 --> 00:26:23,017
Dad, I know what you're thinking.
512
00:26:23,018 --> 00:26:25,956
But anytime there's trouble,
Darla is the one who starts it.
513
00:26:25,957 --> 00:26:28,431
So did she start this?
514
00:26:28,432 --> 00:26:32,351
Okay, maybe this time is a bad example.
515
00:26:32,352 --> 00:26:35,004
I asked you to try to
get along with Darla,
516
00:26:35,005 --> 00:26:38,024
but instead, you attack her
with experimental weaponry?
517
00:26:38,025 --> 00:26:40,325
Why do you care so much
if I get along with Darla?
518
00:26:40,326 --> 00:26:42,328
After this trip, I'll
never have to see her again!
519
00:26:42,329 --> 00:26:45,815
Oh, yes you will, because you
and Darla are going to be sisters.
520
00:26:45,816 --> 00:26:47,266
What?
521
00:26:47,267 --> 00:26:48,633
Shannon: That's right, girls.
522
00:26:48,634 --> 00:26:54,534
My armored heart has been
captured by this uniformed yum-yum.
523
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:58,584
Ewe! Ewe!
524
00:26:58,938 --> 00:27:01,979
So we wanted you girls to become
friends before we told you,
525
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:03,729
but now we're out of time.
526
00:27:03,730 --> 00:27:05,184
Our wedding is tomorrow.
527
00:27:05,185 --> 00:27:08,387
Tomorrow? As in, the day after today?
528
00:27:08,388 --> 00:27:10,222
Yes, if I can wait that long.
529
00:27:10,223 --> 00:27:13,585
The only man I've had in my life
in the last 10 years is Uncle Sam.
530
00:27:13,586 --> 00:27:16,646
And now, I want you!
531
00:27:16,853 --> 00:27:19,864
Wait, wait, wait. So that's
why you invited me to come home?
532
00:27:19,865 --> 00:27:24,614
Yes, and I invited you, not these
little threats to national security.
533
00:27:24,615 --> 00:27:29,062
Now get out of my B.A.T. I had
the seat just where I liked it.
534
00:27:29,063 --> 00:27:31,617
We are extremely sorry, Sir.
535
00:27:31,618 --> 00:27:37,518
Even though I did not do anything,
and it was all Luke's fault.
536
00:27:45,459 --> 00:27:47,982
Okay, that one is on me.
537
00:27:47,983 --> 00:27:53,883
By the way, for the wedding, could
you put me down for a Vegetarian meal?
538
00:27:56,203 --> 00:27:59,472
I can't believe my dad is
getting remarried to Darla's mom.
539
00:27:59,473 --> 00:28:01,474
Darla is a total... [mixer whirring]
540
00:28:01,475 --> 00:28:04,159
- [Inaudible]
- [Mixer turns off]
541
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,740
And my dad knows how I feel,
but clearly he doesn't give a...
542
00:28:07,741 --> 00:28:10,381
[Mixer whirring]
543
00:28:11,485 --> 00:28:14,108
Bertram, I feel like you
don't care about my problems.
544
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,841
What makes you say that?
545
00:28:15,842 --> 00:28:18,807
There's nothing in that blender.
546
00:28:18,808 --> 00:28:21,327
Listen! The rehearsal brunch is today.
547
00:28:21,328 --> 00:28:24,662
They're getting married tonight,
and my whole world is falling apart!
548
00:28:24,663 --> 00:28:27,205
Ooh, so, there's gonna be a brunch?
549
00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:30,483
You're missing the point.
There's going to be a wedding!
550
00:28:30,484 --> 00:28:33,399
Ooh, so there's gonna be cake!
551
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,674
Well, I better bake it
instead of Corporal Cookie.
552
00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:39,610
Or even the little bride and
groom on top of the cake will hurl.
553
00:28:39,611 --> 00:28:40,859
[Laughing]
554
00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:42,198
- Hey!
- [Both exclaim in shock]
555
00:28:42,199 --> 00:28:46,006
No one is baking the wedding
cake of my officers except me.
556
00:28:46,007 --> 00:28:49,175
Well, get ready for a
dishonorable discharge.
557
00:28:49,176 --> 00:28:51,176
Which everybody's gonna
have, if you make it.
558
00:28:51,177 --> 00:28:52,730
[Laughs]
559
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:53,880
You know what?
560
00:28:53,881 --> 00:28:58,636
You make your cake, I'll make mine,
and we'll see who gets the last laugh.
561
00:28:58,637 --> 00:29:01,577
Besides your barber.
562
00:29:01,923 --> 00:29:05,750
Have I mentioned Darla and I have
to wear matching bridesmaid dresses?
563
00:29:05,751 --> 00:29:07,769
We'll look like a couple
of... [mixer whirring]
564
00:29:07,770 --> 00:29:10,050
[Inaudible]
565
00:29:13,894 --> 00:29:18,038
Emma, to celebrate the end of the
feud, I drew a picture of us together.
566
00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:20,711
See, the Pegasus represents our love...
567
00:29:20,712 --> 00:29:23,206
Which has lifted us above
all the obstacles in our path.
568
00:29:23,207 --> 00:29:26,072
Aw, that is so deep.
569
00:29:26,073 --> 00:29:27,914
Who are these two people?
570
00:29:27,915 --> 00:29:29,529
That's you and me.
571
00:29:29,530 --> 00:29:34,367
Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid
it was you and Blake Lively.
572
00:29:34,368 --> 00:29:37,606
So then the trapezoid
said to the triangle...
573
00:29:37,607 --> 00:29:41,267
"Quit being obtuse!" [Laughing]
574
00:29:43,477 --> 00:29:48,044
You're the reason the Math
Club meets in the boiler room.
575
00:29:48,045 --> 00:29:50,866
Hey, let's go find that B.A.T.
576
00:29:50,867 --> 00:29:55,488
No! Jessie forbade it, and I will
not leave this place no matter what.
577
00:29:55,489 --> 00:29:58,225
[Feedback crackling] Okay,
everybody, time for speeches.
578
00:29:58,226 --> 00:30:00,686
Wait for me!
579
00:30:01,958 --> 00:30:05,006
I just want to thank you all for
coming to our rehearsal brunch.
580
00:30:05,007 --> 00:30:09,569
Even though you had no choice,
because it was an order. [Laughing]
581
00:30:09,570 --> 00:30:12,856
I just want to say that I cannot wait
582
00:30:12,857 --> 00:30:17,957
for this officer to stop
acting like a gentleman.
583
00:30:18,027 --> 00:30:19,469
Okay, J.W., it's your turn.
584
00:30:19,470 --> 00:30:21,141
Oh, no. No, thanks.
585
00:30:21,142 --> 00:30:25,582
Did it sound like I was asking, soldier?
586
00:30:26,689 --> 00:30:29,257
[Scattered applause]
587
00:30:29,258 --> 00:30:31,557
I'm not much for speeches.
588
00:30:31,558 --> 00:30:37,458
If you talk in a foxhole, the enemy's
likely to find you and take you out!
589
00:30:37,834 --> 00:30:41,614
Next, my future daughter, Darla.
590
00:30:44,692 --> 00:30:46,995
Hmm, okay. Um...
591
00:30:46,996 --> 00:30:50,676
I am so glad my mom is marrying J.W.
592
00:30:50,677 --> 00:30:53,546
I've always admired
his daughter, Jessie.
593
00:30:53,547 --> 00:30:54,889
Wait for it.
594
00:30:54,890 --> 00:30:58,484
Not everyone could fail
so miserably at acting,
595
00:30:58,485 --> 00:31:01,064
and still have the
courage to keep trying.
596
00:31:01,065 --> 00:31:05,358
Even though she gets rejected
over and over and over.
597
00:31:05,359 --> 00:31:07,894
And there it is.
598
00:31:07,895 --> 00:31:11,231
Kind of like the way she was rejected
by all of the boys in high school.
599
00:31:11,232 --> 00:31:14,446
She was so unpopular, even the
vending machines rejected her quarters.
600
00:31:14,447 --> 00:31:17,909
Okay, all right. Thank you, Darla.
601
00:31:17,910 --> 00:31:19,975
That was fascinating.
602
00:31:19,976 --> 00:31:23,702
Just like your stories about
collecting barf bags at 30,000 feet.
603
00:31:23,703 --> 00:31:28,540
And your "how to-put-on-a-seatbelt"
speech is always a big hit at parties.
604
00:31:28,541 --> 00:31:31,650
And I know that whenever I need
advice, Jessie will always be there,
605
00:31:31,651 --> 00:31:34,661
because, Lord knows,
she's never out on a date.
606
00:31:34,662 --> 00:31:36,536
Let's hear it for Darla Shannon.
607
00:31:36,537 --> 00:31:38,849
If her name sounds familiar,
it's probably because
608
00:31:38,850 --> 00:31:41,044
you wrote a complaint letter
to an airline about her.
609
00:31:41,045 --> 00:31:43,625
[Both laughing]
610
00:31:45,527 --> 00:31:47,551
[Screaming]
611
00:31:47,552 --> 00:31:49,912
This is awesome!
612
00:31:49,913 --> 00:31:51,559
This is fun!
613
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:55,645
This is going to be the day I die!
614
00:31:55,646 --> 00:32:00,086
And I was so looking forward to puberty!
615
00:32:03,985 --> 00:32:06,241
You should've seen Darla's
face in high school.
616
00:32:06,242 --> 00:32:08,116
The moon had less craters.
617
00:32:08,117 --> 00:32:11,810
Then again, the moon didn't eat four
personal pan pizzas for lunch every day.
618
00:32:11,811 --> 00:32:14,948
Okay, at least I didn't have
to eat with the cafeteria lady.
619
00:32:14,949 --> 00:32:18,347
Olga was a sparkling conversationalist.
620
00:32:18,348 --> 00:32:22,451
At least, I assume so
I don't speak Russian.
621
00:32:22,452 --> 00:32:25,842
Congratulations, Luke. You
have driven us to the mess hall,
622
00:32:25,843 --> 00:32:28,191
the one place we are sure to get caught.
623
00:32:28,192 --> 00:32:30,779
That's where the rush comes in.
624
00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:35,064
I'll just go in reverse.
It must be this "R" button.
625
00:32:35,065 --> 00:32:36,097
[Guests scream]
626
00:32:36,098 --> 00:32:38,258
Incoming!
627
00:32:40,304 --> 00:32:44,373
[Whispers] You think anybody noticed?
628
00:32:44,374 --> 00:32:50,274
Luke, did it ever occur to you
that "R" might stand for "rocket"?
629
00:32:55,285 --> 00:32:58,670
I told you kids never to
set foot in that thing again.
630
00:32:58,671 --> 00:33:00,184
We can explain!
631
00:33:00,185 --> 00:33:02,910
Ravi made us do it!
632
00:33:02,911 --> 00:33:04,992
Okay, I can fix this.
633
00:33:04,993 --> 00:33:10,813
All I need is a hammer, a
screwdriver, and a time machine.
634
00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,559
Dad, I can explain. It was an accident.
635
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,496
You think maybe if you had
been watching these kids
636
00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:21,244
instead of trading insults with Darla,
this accident would never have happened?
637
00:33:21,245 --> 00:33:23,346
Okay, I got carried away.
638
00:33:23,347 --> 00:33:24,397
That was a mistake.
639
00:33:24,398 --> 00:33:27,592
But so is ambushing your
daughter with a surprise wedding!
640
00:33:27,593 --> 00:33:29,750
Prescott: I was afraid if
I told you I was marrying
641
00:33:29,751 --> 00:33:31,966
Darla's mom over the
phone, you'd freak out!
642
00:33:31,967 --> 00:33:33,473
What do you think I'm doing now?
643
00:33:33,474 --> 00:33:36,568
I came back here to try and
make things right between us.
644
00:33:36,569 --> 00:33:40,237
But instead I'm stuck with a new
family, and you didn't even ask me!
645
00:33:40,238 --> 00:33:43,851
Why should I ask you? You didn't
ask me when you ran off to New York!
646
00:33:43,852 --> 00:33:45,816
Because I knew you
wouldn't be supportive!
647
00:33:45,817 --> 00:33:49,971
It's a lot easier to be supportive
when somebody makes good decisions.
648
00:33:49,972 --> 00:33:52,251
Leaving home was a good decision.
649
00:33:52,252 --> 00:33:55,487
Mom always told me to follow my dreams.
She'd be proud that I moved to New York.
650
00:33:55,488 --> 00:33:59,160
Not if she saw what a
disaster it's turned into.
651
00:33:59,161 --> 00:34:03,265
Well, if that's how you feel, then maybe I
just should just not come to your wedding.
652
00:34:03,266 --> 00:34:06,505
If that's what you want.
653
00:34:06,506 --> 00:34:11,168
It wouldn't be the first time
you went AWOL from this family.
654
00:34:11,169 --> 00:34:13,509
That's it.
655
00:34:15,712 --> 00:34:18,775
Kids, we're going back
to New York, right now.
656
00:34:18,776 --> 00:34:20,329
They're going to tear us apart!
657
00:34:20,330 --> 00:34:22,134
We have to run away!
658
00:34:22,135 --> 00:34:24,979
Okay, but I'm wearing high heels,
so you might have to carry me.
659
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,900
Done.
660
00:34:28,687 --> 00:34:32,657
And I thought our private
jet was a fun way to travel!
661
00:34:32,658 --> 00:34:34,700
Jump in. I'll drive us to the airport.
662
00:34:34,701 --> 00:34:36,661
Get out of that vehicle!
663
00:34:36,662 --> 00:34:39,697
Or you know what? Don't. I don't care.
664
00:34:39,698 --> 00:34:41,128
I'm done.
665
00:34:41,129 --> 00:34:42,547
What do you mean?
666
00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:45,370
I mean you knew how important
this weekend was to me,
667
00:34:45,371 --> 00:34:47,406
but you obviously didn't care.
668
00:34:47,407 --> 00:34:51,709
You deliberately disobeyed me,
over and over, and I'm sick of it!
669
00:34:51,710 --> 00:34:54,144
We promise it will never happen again.
670
00:34:54,145 --> 00:34:57,441
You're right, it won't. And
it's not my problem anymore.
671
00:34:57,442 --> 00:35:00,082
Because I quit.
672
00:35:07,381 --> 00:35:09,421
[Music]
673
00:35:10,137 --> 00:35:12,105
I hope you two are satisfied.
674
00:35:12,106 --> 00:35:16,210
Because of your malfeasance,
we are going to lose Jessie!
675
00:35:16,211 --> 00:35:18,682
Hey, her quitting is your fault, too!
676
00:35:18,683 --> 00:35:21,930
You're the one who's supposed to stop
us from doing stupid stuff like that.
677
00:35:21,931 --> 00:35:27,751
Yeah, you're like our smaller,
more annoying Jiminy Cricket.
678
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:34,620
Jessie, you have every right to
be angry, but please, do not quit.
679
00:35:34,621 --> 00:35:38,013
Yeah, we're really,
really, really sorry.
680
00:35:38,014 --> 00:35:41,373
- Sorry doesn't cut it this time.
- I promise, we've learned our lesson.
681
00:35:41,374 --> 00:35:44,887
Good, then I hope you'll be more
respectful to your next nanny.
682
00:35:44,888 --> 00:35:48,023
- We do not want another nanny!
- We just want you.
683
00:35:48,024 --> 00:35:50,748
You're the best nanny
in the whole wide world!
684
00:35:50,749 --> 00:35:52,047
And Emma would agree,
685
00:35:52,048 --> 00:35:56,636
if she had not run away with Caleb
when you were not paying attention.
686
00:35:56,637 --> 00:35:59,822
What? Why didn't you tell me?
687
00:35:59,823 --> 00:36:02,004
After you quit, there
was a power vacuum.
688
00:36:02,005 --> 00:36:05,327
We did not know who to report to.
689
00:36:05,328 --> 00:36:07,910
Emma's not picking up. How
am I supposed to find them?
690
00:36:07,911 --> 00:36:10,908
Well, I know where there is a
computer that can triangulate
691
00:36:10,909 --> 00:36:13,452
her cell phone signal
and pinpoint her location.
692
00:36:13,453 --> 00:36:15,253
Great, where is it?
693
00:36:15,254 --> 00:36:17,894
In the B.A.T.
694
00:36:19,205 --> 00:36:21,569
Of course it is.
695
00:36:21,570 --> 00:36:24,243
Well, then I guess
we're taking that B.A.T.
696
00:36:24,244 --> 00:36:26,929
Yes! I am so proud of you right now.
697
00:36:26,930 --> 00:36:30,665
Which will probably never
happen again, so enjoy it.
698
00:36:30,666 --> 00:36:33,355
Okay, everybody buckle up.
699
00:36:33,356 --> 00:36:34,937
I hope this thing is fast.
700
00:36:34,938 --> 00:36:40,838
There's a button marked "F".
Maybe that means fast. Right there.
701
00:36:43,539 --> 00:36:45,195
It means "fly"!
702
00:36:45,196 --> 00:36:48,880
Or "fetal position,"
which I will now assume.
703
00:36:48,881 --> 00:36:50,953
And I'm gonna assume
the woo-hoo position.
704
00:36:50,954 --> 00:36:53,114
Woo-hoo!
705
00:36:54,682 --> 00:37:00,582
I want one of these for Christmas,
but pink and with streamers!
706
00:37:00,928 --> 00:37:02,755
I'm glad you guys are both having fun.
707
00:37:02,756 --> 00:37:05,934
Meanwhile, I think I just
got a bug in my teeth.
708
00:37:05,935 --> 00:37:08,569
Although my vision is blurred from fear,
709
00:37:08,570 --> 00:37:11,685
I believe the computer has
located Emma's cell signal!
710
00:37:11,686 --> 00:37:13,073
Great, where is she?
711
00:37:13,074 --> 00:37:15,187
I have good news and bad news.
712
00:37:15,188 --> 00:37:16,377
What's the good news?
713
00:37:16,378 --> 00:37:19,051
Emma appears to be
in a munitions bunker.
714
00:37:19,052 --> 00:37:22,317
The munitions bunker is where they
keep all of the deadly explosives!
715
00:37:22,318 --> 00:37:24,285
And that was the bad news.
716
00:37:24,286 --> 00:37:27,586
Way to steal my thunder.
717
00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:32,280
[Sighs]
718
00:37:32,281 --> 00:37:35,396
Sorry, I couldn't find us a
more romantic place to hide.
719
00:37:35,397 --> 00:37:37,726
Any place with you is romantic.
720
00:37:37,727 --> 00:37:42,212
I just won't be lighting
these candles I brought.
721
00:37:42,213 --> 00:37:47,733
Oh, you look cold. Do you
want my jacket or something?
722
00:37:48,738 --> 00:37:50,903
- Luke: Sweet!
- Zuri: Yeah!
723
00:37:50,904 --> 00:37:52,938
Ravi: God protect us.
724
00:37:52,939 --> 00:37:54,873
[Thuds]
725
00:37:54,874 --> 00:37:56,975
Are we in heaven?
726
00:37:56,976 --> 00:38:01,720
Am I playing washboard for the late,
great country legend, Tammy Wynette?
727
00:38:01,721 --> 00:38:03,881
Then no.
728
00:38:07,722 --> 00:38:10,722
Okay, I'll run in and
grab Caleb and Emma.
729
00:38:10,723 --> 00:38:13,603
You guys stay put.
730
00:38:14,290 --> 00:38:16,500
And don't touch anything!
731
00:38:16,501 --> 00:38:19,522
- But I want a snow cone.
- It has a snow cone maker, too?
732
00:38:19,523 --> 00:38:24,263
No wonder you guys keep
stealing this thing.
733
00:38:24,449 --> 00:38:28,385
Jessie, I am not going back to
New York. Don't even bother to ask.
734
00:38:28,386 --> 00:38:31,355
Oh, I'm not asking. I'm
grabbing and pulling.
735
00:38:31,356 --> 00:38:34,425
- You can't separate us!
- We're two souls that have become one.
736
00:38:34,426 --> 00:38:37,562
Your two souls can video
chat. We're leaving.
737
00:38:37,563 --> 00:38:42,423
No! I'm staying here
with Caleb. I love him!
738
00:38:43,128 --> 00:38:45,502
[Alarm blaring]
739
00:38:45,503 --> 00:38:47,869
Automated voice: Munitions
bunker in lock down.
740
00:38:47,870 --> 00:38:51,815
Emma! You just locked us in a
room packed with deadly explosives.
741
00:38:51,816 --> 00:38:54,344
As opposed to safe explosives?
742
00:38:54,345 --> 00:38:57,448
Sorry, I get sarcastic when I'm nervous.
743
00:38:57,449 --> 00:38:59,880
Automated voice: Munitions
bunker in lock down!
744
00:38:59,881 --> 00:39:01,352
Cool!
745
00:39:01,353 --> 00:39:03,531
I know I should care that
Jessie and Emma are trapped,
746
00:39:03,532 --> 00:39:05,951
but I'm all hopped up on snow cones!
747
00:39:05,952 --> 00:39:09,792
Want some? Want some? Want some?
748
00:39:09,985 --> 00:39:12,329
Emma, why did you do that?
749
00:39:12,330 --> 00:39:13,740
You left me no choice.
750
00:39:13,741 --> 00:39:17,201
No choice? You didn't hear me
mention the video chat option?
751
00:39:17,202 --> 00:39:20,337
And you shouldn't have run away in the
first place, that never solves anything.
752
00:39:20,338 --> 00:39:23,273
Says the girl who's running away
from her own father's wedding.
753
00:39:23,274 --> 00:39:25,643
[Scoffs] That is completely different!
754
00:39:25,644 --> 00:39:27,478
Somewhat different.
755
00:39:27,479 --> 00:39:29,513
Okay, it's exactly the same.
756
00:39:29,514 --> 00:39:32,349
But I'm running away from
the demon seed, Darla!
757
00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:33,807
- No offense.
- None taken.
758
00:39:33,808 --> 00:39:36,731
She used to hold me down
and make me smell her armpit.
759
00:39:36,732 --> 00:39:39,533
That is a terrible thing
to do to a little kid.
760
00:39:39,534 --> 00:39:42,534
It was this morning.
761
00:39:42,772 --> 00:39:45,807
So you're going to let Darla make
things worse between you and your dad?
762
00:39:45,808 --> 00:39:47,708
[Sighs]
763
00:39:47,709 --> 00:39:51,189
Look, it's not just Darla.
764
00:39:51,818 --> 00:39:54,038
I never thought my dad
would get married again.
765
00:39:54,039 --> 00:39:56,617
But he's fallen in love.
766
00:39:56,618 --> 00:40:00,588
- Don't you want him to be happy?
- Well, of course I do, but...
767
00:40:00,589 --> 00:40:03,858
Everything is happening so fast.
768
00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:06,861
I don't want my family to change.
769
00:40:06,862 --> 00:40:10,102
You wouldn't understand.
770
00:40:10,222 --> 00:40:13,582
Actually, I do understand.
771
00:40:16,672 --> 00:40:20,608
When my parents adopted
Luke, then Zuri, then Ravi...
772
00:40:20,609 --> 00:40:24,813
I was upset, because I didn't
want my family to change.
773
00:40:24,814 --> 00:40:27,403
But now I love them more than anything.
774
00:40:27,404 --> 00:40:31,886
Even Luke, who's about as
demon seed as they come.
775
00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:34,856
But my dad and I have been
through a lot together.
776
00:40:34,857 --> 00:40:37,405
We've always been a team.
777
00:40:37,406 --> 00:40:42,730
You can still be a team, you're
just adding a few more players.
778
00:40:42,731 --> 00:40:45,687
Yeah, but I'm getting Darla on my team.
779
00:40:45,688 --> 00:40:50,705
Well, I got a 7-foot lizard with rat
breath and a scary, forked tongue.
780
00:40:50,706 --> 00:40:53,646
Okay, it's a draw.
781
00:40:53,909 --> 00:40:55,973
I guess...
782
00:40:55,974 --> 00:40:59,364
My dad deserves to start
a new chapter in his life.
783
00:40:59,365 --> 00:41:02,383
Like I did when I moved to New York
and started taking care of you guys.
784
00:41:02,384 --> 00:41:05,720
Exactly, and look how
great that turned out.
785
00:41:05,721 --> 00:41:08,139
It did, didn't it?
786
00:41:08,140 --> 00:41:10,208
How did you get so smart?
787
00:41:10,209 --> 00:41:13,629
I've had a great teacher.
788
00:41:16,798 --> 00:41:19,600
Besides, I know a lot about love.
789
00:41:19,601 --> 00:41:24,641
After all, I've been in
it for two whole days.
790
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:30,204
Just wait until you can finally make
a guy really care about you, too.
791
00:41:30,205 --> 00:41:33,025
Okay, moment over.
792
00:41:34,357 --> 00:41:37,218
But you're right. I
should get to that wedding.
793
00:41:37,219 --> 00:41:40,622
Except, I can't, because
thanks to you, I'm locked in!
794
00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:44,660
Well, maybe Luke, Ravi and Zuri will try
to blast us out of here with the B.A.T.
795
00:41:44,661 --> 00:41:45,833
[Scoffs]
796
00:41:45,834 --> 00:41:47,925
We are in a room full of explosives,
797
00:41:47,926 --> 00:41:51,915
equipped with a hair-trigger self-destruct
system in case someone tries to steal them.
798
00:41:51,916 --> 00:41:55,552
Not even they would be
dumb enough to fire on it.
799
00:41:55,553 --> 00:41:58,133
Ready... aim...
800
00:41:58,146 --> 00:42:00,066
Fire!
801
00:42:03,589 --> 00:42:05,689
[Laughs]
802
00:42:06,617 --> 00:42:09,269
- Nimrods.
- [Siren blaring]
803
00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:11,386
Automated voice: Munitions
bunker under attack!
804
00:42:11,387 --> 00:42:13,721
Activate self-destruct sequence!
805
00:42:13,722 --> 00:42:16,124
Well, that's not good.
806
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:19,305
All: Help! Let us out.
807
00:42:20,495 --> 00:42:23,430
I can't believe Jessie's
really not coming.
808
00:42:23,431 --> 00:42:25,199
Maybe I was too hard on her.
809
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,632
Aw, she wouldn't miss your wedding.
810
00:42:27,633 --> 00:42:30,713
- I know it. She'll be here.
- I don't know.
811
00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:32,475
I haven't seen her
this mad since she broke
812
00:42:32,476 --> 00:42:36,960
curfew and I took away
the keys to her tank.
813
00:42:36,961 --> 00:42:39,735
Hey, Dar-Dar, have you seen Jessie?
814
00:42:39,736 --> 00:42:43,884
No. With any luck, she
fell down that well again.
815
00:42:43,885 --> 00:42:46,179
Oh, hey, if she's been in
that cold water long enough,
816
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:49,973
she could be your something blue.
817
00:42:49,974 --> 00:42:52,074
Peanuts?
818
00:42:52,876 --> 00:42:55,845
- We're going to get blown to bits!
- And you're too pretty to be rubble!
819
00:42:55,846 --> 00:42:58,815
I know! Jessie, do something!
820
00:42:58,816 --> 00:43:01,456
[Speaking hindi]
821
00:43:03,954 --> 00:43:09,654
Okay, you have been spending
way too much time with Ravi.
822
00:43:11,929 --> 00:43:13,896
[Laughs]
823
00:43:13,897 --> 00:43:16,933
See? I told you "G" was
for "grappling hook"!
824
00:43:16,934 --> 00:43:21,554
Even a broken clock
is right twice a day.
825
00:43:22,303 --> 00:43:27,977
Guys, I never thought I would say
this, but thank you for disobeying me!
826
00:43:27,978 --> 00:43:31,948
You're welcome. And you can thank
us by becoming our nanny again.
827
00:43:31,949 --> 00:43:34,017
Jessie, please, you cannot quit.
828
00:43:34,018 --> 00:43:35,852
You are part of our family.
829
00:43:35,853 --> 00:43:37,887
And we love you.
830
00:43:37,888 --> 00:43:39,649
I love you guys, too!
831
00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:41,722
And I'm not going anywhere.
832
00:43:41,723 --> 00:43:45,524
- Luke: Yes!
- Except to that wedding.
833
00:43:45,525 --> 00:43:48,698
Wow, Jessie quit and I didn't even know?
834
00:43:48,699 --> 00:43:52,119
I really am self-involved.
835
00:43:52,263 --> 00:43:55,378
All right. Everyone
in? Buckled, buckled.
836
00:43:55,379 --> 00:43:57,840
Okay. Brace yourselves.
837
00:43:57,841 --> 00:44:01,441
I'm hitting "T" for "turbo".
838
00:44:03,847 --> 00:44:06,067
Or toast.
839
00:44:07,051 --> 00:44:10,953
I gotta say, both these cakes
would definitely pass inspection.
840
00:44:10,954 --> 00:44:11,954
Agreed.
841
00:44:11,955 --> 00:44:15,133
But I think my confection is perfection.
842
00:44:15,134 --> 00:44:17,894
Oh, yeah? Well...
843
00:44:19,492 --> 00:44:22,783
Your icing tastes like dirt.
844
00:44:22,784 --> 00:44:24,295
That's your finger.
845
00:44:24,296 --> 00:44:26,389
Oh, yeah. I really should
wash my hands more often.
846
00:44:26,390 --> 00:44:28,250
Ugh.
847
00:44:28,409 --> 00:44:32,265
Look, we're both great chefs. It
doesn't really matter who wins.
848
00:44:32,266 --> 00:44:34,486
[Whirring]
849
00:44:38,103 --> 00:44:40,203
- Oh.
- [Luke laughs]
850
00:44:40,204 --> 00:44:41,984
But I just did!
851
00:44:41,985 --> 00:44:47,885
What kind of twisted sicko laughs
at someone else's misfortune?
852
00:44:47,925 --> 00:44:50,205
[Screaming]
853
00:44:51,762 --> 00:44:52,895
[Laughing]
854
00:44:52,896 --> 00:44:55,998
Oh, now I get it. This is fun.
855
00:44:55,999 --> 00:44:57,900
[Shrieks]
856
00:44:57,901 --> 00:44:59,679
This icing tastes like dirt.
857
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,519
Ha ha, told ya.
858
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,620
[Laughs]
859
00:45:03,941 --> 00:45:07,644
Darla, I am so... happy that happened.
860
00:45:07,645 --> 00:45:09,865
[Laughing]
861
00:45:09,947 --> 00:45:12,707
Jessie! You came!
862
00:45:12,783 --> 00:45:14,643
Dad.
863
00:45:15,919 --> 00:45:20,007
I'm sorry I crashed
your wedding. Literally.
864
00:45:20,008 --> 00:45:22,128
That's okay.
865
00:45:22,129 --> 00:45:25,895
It was considerate of you to crash
through the same hole in the wall.
866
00:45:25,896 --> 00:45:29,196
Yeah, that was the plan.
867
00:45:29,933 --> 00:45:31,539
I'm just glad you're here.
868
00:45:31,540 --> 00:45:35,295
And I'm very sorry to have
sprung all this on you.
869
00:45:35,296 --> 00:45:37,996
It's okay, dad.
870
00:45:38,541 --> 00:45:41,841
You deserve to be happy.
871
00:45:41,879 --> 00:45:47,779
Thank you, Pumpkin. That's the best
wedding present you could give me.
872
00:45:50,755 --> 00:45:56,025
Do you, John Wayne Prescott, take Beverly
Shannon, to love, honor and cherish?
873
00:45:56,026 --> 00:45:58,974
- I do.
- And do you, Beverly...
874
00:45:58,975 --> 00:46:00,597
Affirmative!
875
00:46:00,598 --> 00:46:01,964
[Kissing]
876
00:46:01,965 --> 00:46:07,257
Well, I now pronounce you
man and wife. You may now...
877
00:46:07,258 --> 00:46:11,412
Uh, well, just keep on
doing what you're doing.
878
00:46:11,413 --> 00:46:14,053
[All applauding]
879
00:46:16,847 --> 00:46:19,787
[Growls suggestively]
880
00:46:21,289 --> 00:46:23,720
- [Explosion]
- [Guests gasp]
881
00:46:23,721 --> 00:46:27,501
Hey, who set off the fireworks?
882
00:46:27,651 --> 00:46:29,017
Uh-oh.
883
00:46:29,018 --> 00:46:34,359
Someone forgot to shut down the self
destruct sequence on the munitions bunker.
884
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,400
Ravi...
885
00:46:41,985 --> 00:46:46,185
So, Darla, now that we are "sisters".
886
00:46:46,338 --> 00:46:49,227
Should we try and get along?
887
00:46:49,228 --> 00:46:51,266
Absolutely.
888
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:55,304
Do you wanna take a
walk by the old well?
889
00:46:55,305 --> 00:46:57,473
And the feud continues.
890
00:46:57,474 --> 00:47:03,114
I hope you have nine airsick
babies on your next flight!
891
00:47:03,786 --> 00:47:06,566
So, we're gonna video
chat every day, right?
892
00:47:06,567 --> 00:47:09,807
Right. Let's start now.
893
00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:11,546
- Hi!
- Hi!
894
00:47:11,547 --> 00:47:14,565
- I miss you.
- I miss you more.
895
00:47:14,566 --> 00:47:19,261
You know, once you pick off the
floor lint, your cake tastes great.
896
00:47:19,262 --> 00:47:20,710
Yours is great, too.
897
00:47:20,711 --> 00:47:23,232
But I think I've found
something even sweeter.
898
00:47:23,233 --> 00:47:25,467
Oh, the mini-churros?
899
00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:27,073
No...
900
00:47:27,074 --> 00:47:30,239
You, you big love-burger.
901
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:32,341
Oh. [Chuckles]
902
00:47:32,342 --> 00:47:34,845
Well, Corporal Cookie,
I'm flattered, but uh...
903
00:47:34,846 --> 00:47:37,279
I have two weeks leave next month.
904
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:42,970
I'm gonna come stay with you, and
take a bite out of The Big Apple!
905
00:47:42,971 --> 00:47:44,791
- [Growls suggestively]
- [Chuckles nervously]
906
00:47:44,792 --> 00:47:48,212
But just the apple, right?
907
00:47:50,193 --> 00:47:54,830
You know, Jessie, it's very impressive
that those kids saved you from that bunker.
908
00:47:54,831 --> 00:47:58,400
Yeah. I got a pretty good squad.
909
00:47:58,401 --> 00:48:01,437
Well, a squad is only
as good as its leader.
910
00:48:01,438 --> 00:48:03,631
You've obviously been a
good influence on them.
911
00:48:03,632 --> 00:48:06,308
Wow, marriage really agrees with you.
912
00:48:06,309 --> 00:48:10,889
No, I mean it. They
are lucky to have you.
913
00:48:10,890 --> 00:48:12,870
And...
914
00:48:12,899 --> 00:48:15,532
I think you did make the right
decision going to New York.
915
00:48:15,533 --> 00:48:17,519
Really?
916
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,621
Thanks, Daddy. That means a lot.
917
00:48:19,622 --> 00:48:22,191
Your Mother would be so proud of you.
918
00:48:22,192 --> 00:48:24,871
And she'd be happy for you.
919
00:48:24,872 --> 00:48:26,973
We're never gonna forget her, right?
920
00:48:26,974 --> 00:48:28,389
How could I?
921
00:48:28,390 --> 00:48:32,470
Whenever I look at you, I see her.
922
00:48:37,825 --> 00:48:41,203
All right, all the
single ladies, fall in.
923
00:48:41,204 --> 00:48:42,605
Come on.
924
00:48:42,606 --> 00:48:45,486
[Excited chattering]
925
00:48:48,068 --> 00:48:50,997
Not Cookie, not Cookie.
926
00:48:50,998 --> 00:48:54,901
Well, that's the first
time I've prayed for that.
927
00:48:54,902 --> 00:48:58,004
- All: Me, me!
- Over here.
928
00:48:58,005 --> 00:48:59,884
[Growls]
929
00:48:59,885 --> 00:49:01,925
[Barks]
930
00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:09,358
Hello.
931
00:49:10,050 --> 00:49:11,238
[Chuckles]
932
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,339
Goodbye.
933
00:49:14,405 --> 00:49:18,958
Darla, I assume you
know where the exits are.
934
00:49:18,959 --> 00:49:21,883
[Dance music playing]
935
00:49:21,884 --> 00:49:27,784
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
Www.Addic7ed.Com.