1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,257 Subs created by: David Coleman. 2 00:00:03,258 --> 00:00:06,147 Tony, I've got a great idea for what we can do this Saturday! 3 00:00:06,148 --> 00:00:08,116 I bet we're thinking the same thing! 4 00:00:08,117 --> 00:00:10,805 - Art museum. - Go bowling. 5 00:00:10,806 --> 00:00:13,687 Okay, you know I love going bowling with you and 6 00:00:13,688 --> 00:00:16,773 eating hot wings while inhaling shoe disinfectant. 7 00:00:16,774 --> 00:00:18,661 But we just went bowling last weekend. 8 00:00:18,662 --> 00:00:21,156 Because the weekend before we went to The Met. 9 00:00:21,157 --> 00:00:25,138 Which, by the way, had nothing to do with the actual Mets! 10 00:00:25,139 --> 00:00:28,028 Yeah, I'm sorry you had to walk around the museum with a baseball mitt, 11 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:31,035 but I did buy you peanuts. 12 00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:32,588 So, you want to grab some lunch? 13 00:00:32,589 --> 00:00:34,418 As nice as that sounds, I can't. 14 00:00:34,419 --> 00:00:38,216 I'm stuck training some new doorman named Vic who probably can't tell push from pull. 15 00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,485 - Is that really a problem? - You'd be surprised. 16 00:00:40,486 --> 00:00:44,929 Look at the hinges people. Look at the hinges! 17 00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:49,130 Yo, Tony, it's me, your new doorman! 18 00:00:51,723 --> 00:00:53,763 Uh-oh. 19 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:57,435 I'm Vicky Montesano, Theresa's little sister. 20 00:00:57,436 --> 00:00:59,571 You probably don't recognize me since I lost the 21 00:00:59,572 --> 00:01:02,274 braces and had the nostril reduction surgery. 22 00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:04,675 Better, see? 23 00:01:06,212 --> 00:01:09,632 Holy Cannoli! Little Vicky? 24 00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:14,219 Now I remember! I can still picture you in your Catholic school uniform! 25 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:14,959 [Chuckles] 26 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,980 Okay, you can stop doing that now. 27 00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:20,325 Hi, I'm Vic. 28 00:01:20,326 --> 00:01:22,360 Tony and me go way back. 29 00:01:22,361 --> 00:01:26,501 Hi, I'm Jessie. Tony and I go out. 30 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:31,650 They're going to snap him like a wishbone. 31 00:01:31,651 --> 00:01:34,931 ♪Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh. 32 00:01:34,932 --> 00:01:38,292 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 33 00:01:38,592 --> 00:01:42,190 ♪It feels like a party every day. 34 00:01:42,191 --> 00:01:45,551 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 35 00:01:45,632 --> 00:01:49,435 ♪But they keep on pulling me every which way. 36 00:01:49,436 --> 00:01:52,694 ♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie. 37 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:56,041 ♪My whole world is changing. Turning around. 38 00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:59,874 ♪They got me going crazy. Yeah, they're shaking the ground. 39 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:03,582 ♪But they took a chance on the new girl in town. 40 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:07,166 ♪And I don't want to let them down, down, down. 41 00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:09,687 ♪Hey Jessie. 42 00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,110 ♪Hey Jessie. 43 00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:17,912 ♪It feels like a party every day. 44 00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:21,933 ♪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie. 45 00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:25,048 [Music] 46 00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:32,565 What are you guys making? 47 00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:34,546 Toast. 48 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:37,704 And my doctor wonders why I'm tense. 49 00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,882 He says my stress levels are somewhere between... 50 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:43,068 " Getaway driver" and "shark whisperer". 51 00:02:43,069 --> 00:02:47,174 Bertram, if you are serious about getting healthier, maybe we can help you. 52 00:02:47,175 --> 00:02:49,649 Really? Aw, I'm touched that you care. 53 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:54,262 Hey, we don't want anything to happen to the guy who buys our food. 54 00:02:54,263 --> 00:02:57,024 And we care. [Chuckles] 55 00:02:57,025 --> 00:03:00,435 Well, anything you guys come up with will better than my plan. 56 00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:04,096 Which is to buy bigger pants. 57 00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:08,495 Do they make bigger pants? 58 00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:13,473 Hey, girls. 59 00:03:13,474 --> 00:03:15,466 Vic, why don't you go sort the mail? 60 00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:16,985 You got it. 61 00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:21,720 If I get a paper cut will you kiss it and make it feel better? 62 00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:24,684 There's a first aid kit. 63 00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:28,561 Vic is doing great. I mean, she's really fitting in. 64 00:03:28,562 --> 00:03:31,880 Especially into her uniform. Really shows off her... 65 00:03:31,881 --> 00:03:34,041 Epaulets. 66 00:03:34,204 --> 00:03:36,751 Vic: Tony, can you give me a hand? 67 00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:38,882 Sure, Vic. [Gasps] 68 00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,605 I forgot it was catalog day! 69 00:03:40,606 --> 00:03:43,606 Lift with your legs! 70 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,356 Jessie, aren't you worried about this? 71 00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:47,846 Of course not! 72 00:03:47,847 --> 00:03:51,049 But they're gonna be in that little room together, lifting... 73 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,750 With their legs! 74 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,724 Look, I totally trust Tony. 75 00:03:56,725 --> 00:04:01,945 Now let's go to the park and pray. I mean, play. 76 00:04:02,485 --> 00:04:05,454 Meditation can help you reduce your stress. 77 00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,995 Begin by clearing your mind. 78 00:04:11,394 --> 00:04:13,794 [Tv blaring] 79 00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:17,366 I said clear your mind, not the DVR. 80 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:20,429 But I want to watch Extreme Crafting Death Match. 81 00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:23,965 I love when they do battle in The Yarn Barn. 82 00:04:23,966 --> 00:04:27,488 No! Now, concentrate on your breathing. 83 00:04:27,489 --> 00:04:32,289 In through your nose, out through your mouth. 84 00:04:34,518 --> 00:04:36,442 [Gagging] 85 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,763 Oh, what is that horrible smell? 86 00:04:39,764 --> 00:04:44,024 Perhaps you relaxed a little too much. 87 00:04:46,362 --> 00:04:48,117 [Gags] Okay! 88 00:04:48,118 --> 00:04:50,639 There's no bigger fan of sitting and doing nothing than me, 89 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,120 but I can't take this awful stench! 90 00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:56,371 What is that awful aroma? 91 00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:59,312 [Sniffing] [Coughing] 92 00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:05,214 Luke, why are you spreading your stench? 93 00:05:05,215 --> 00:05:08,727 Because your mumbo jumbo is not going to help Bertram get rid of his stress. 94 00:05:08,728 --> 00:05:11,658 Oh, so you think you have a better idea? 95 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:12,882 Always. 96 00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:16,874 What Bertram needs is exercise. You know, to work up a sweat. 97 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:21,081 Smells like you have worked up enough for both of you! 98 00:05:21,082 --> 00:05:23,602 It's a gift! 99 00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:32,084 Jessie, remember you told me about a guy you dated in high school named Ted Hoover? 100 00:05:32,085 --> 00:05:34,917 Sure, he's the only guy I ever dumped. 101 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,378 You dumped him? 102 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:40,881 What kind of horrific, troll beast was he? 103 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,996 He wasn't a troll, he was just a... 104 00:05:43,997 --> 00:05:46,594 Heavy, hairy in the wrong places, slightly smelly 105 00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:50,142 toll booth attendant at our local bridge. 106 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:54,162 Oh, my gosh, he might actually have been a troll. 107 00:05:54,163 --> 00:05:57,028 Well, I went on FacePage and found his profile pic. 108 00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:59,501 He's changed. And he's in town. 109 00:05:59,502 --> 00:06:02,116 So I invited him over so you can make Tony jealous. 110 00:06:02,117 --> 00:06:02,901 [Scoffs] 111 00:06:02,902 --> 00:06:05,817 That won't work, not unless Ted has changed a lot. 112 00:06:05,818 --> 00:06:08,458 [Elevator dings] 113 00:06:11,616 --> 00:06:13,159 Jessie! 114 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,640 Ted? You've changed a lot! 115 00:06:18,986 --> 00:06:23,425 If he's the troll, I'm crossing that bridge every day. 116 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:27,362 Yeah, after you broke up with me, I started working out and losing weight. 117 00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:30,358 Plus, I, uh, got the hump removed. 118 00:06:30,359 --> 00:06:36,259 I was gonna say, who did your hump work? Because it looks fantastic! 119 00:06:36,531 --> 00:06:39,342 I'm Zuri. Hug me. 120 00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:40,981 Okay. 121 00:06:40,982 --> 00:06:44,589 Sorry. When Zuri sees something she wants, she goes for it. 122 00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:46,529 [Grunts] 123 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:52,430 So, Ted, are you in town for some kind of International Handsome Man Convention? 124 00:06:53,307 --> 00:06:55,074 Zuri, that's just silly. 125 00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:58,135 Ooh, no, she's right. I'm a model now. 126 00:06:58,136 --> 00:07:02,336 And the IHMC is great for networking. 127 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:06,046 Well, you guys obviously have a lot to catch up on. 128 00:07:06,047 --> 00:07:08,370 Right, so we should go to lunch. 129 00:07:08,371 --> 00:07:10,405 Through the lobby. Past the doorman. 130 00:07:10,406 --> 00:07:14,546 Okay, however you get to the street. 131 00:07:17,285 --> 00:07:19,162 Great plan, Emma. 132 00:07:19,163 --> 00:07:21,951 How did Jessie ever keep a man before us? [Elevator dings] 133 00:07:21,952 --> 00:07:23,133 She didn't. 134 00:07:23,134 --> 00:07:25,414 Oh, right. 135 00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:29,592 [Music] 136 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,801 - Twelve minutes. - Not bad for a mile. 137 00:07:35,802 --> 00:07:39,364 You were running the 100 yard dash! 138 00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:42,470 And you stopped at a hot dog cart. 139 00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:44,384 Now let's do some chin-ups. 140 00:07:44,385 --> 00:07:46,605 [Groaning] 141 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,516 - Okay, your turn. - You've got to be kidding. 142 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,317 We could do some more running. 143 00:07:57,318 --> 00:07:59,658 Upsy daisy! 144 00:08:00,617 --> 00:08:04,037 [Straining] [Metal creaking] 145 00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:06,873 Just a moment. 146 00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:10,364 [Groans] 147 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,299 Bertram, are you okay? 148 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:15,360 No, I need some ice. 149 00:08:16,437 --> 00:08:21,671 Maybe the snow cone guy will let me sit on his cart. 150 00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:23,835 Well, well, well. 151 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,765 Can someone not handle his fitness bit-ness? 152 00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:31,184 Please never say bit-ness again. 153 00:08:31,185 --> 00:08:32,419 Hey... 154 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,569 - Did you sabotage this bar? - Maybe. 155 00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:39,799 Just like your foul underarm odor ruined my meditation session. 156 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,031 Because it was pointless! 157 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:45,752 My plan for Bertram will work. 158 00:08:47,418 --> 00:08:49,398 Maybe. 159 00:08:53,243 --> 00:08:54,557 [Both laughing] 160 00:08:54,558 --> 00:08:58,073 Hey, Tony. Look who dropped by. My ex-boyfriend, Ted. 161 00:08:58,074 --> 00:09:00,150 Try to keep calm. 162 00:09:00,151 --> 00:09:02,650 Don't fly into a jealous rage. 163 00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,321 Hey, Ted. 164 00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:07,358 - Nice boots. - Ah, thanks, man. 165 00:09:07,359 --> 00:09:10,719 Well. That was a letdown. 166 00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:14,672 Don't worry, I got this. 167 00:09:14,673 --> 00:09:18,753 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! [Muffled] 168 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:26,425 Now, to be hypnotized, just concentrate on this watch as I count backwards from three. 169 00:09:26,426 --> 00:09:28,487 - Three... - This is so stupid. 170 00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:29,280 Two. 171 00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:31,480 Don't you have to be weak-minded for this to work? 172 00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:34,251 - One. - [Snoring] 173 00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:37,072 Yes. Yes, you do. 174 00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:41,625 From now on, you will no longer enjoy the taste of apple pie, 175 00:09:41,626 --> 00:09:45,863 butter, chocolate, donuts, egg creams, French fries... 176 00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:50,544 Toffee cake, upside-down cake, vanilla cake. 177 00:09:50,993 --> 00:09:54,086 And anything that ends in whiz. 178 00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:56,247 No whiz. 179 00:09:57,294 --> 00:09:58,452 Very good. 180 00:09:58,453 --> 00:10:03,889 I will now bring you out of your trance with the ring of a bell. 181 00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:06,417 As soon as I find the bell. 182 00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:10,488 Stay put. Do not give me the Freudian slip! [Laughs] 183 00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:13,429 Oh, hypnotism humor. 184 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,506 Tough room. 185 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,711 [Imitating ravi] Whenever someone says Bertram, you will act like a cat, 186 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,065 until someone says your name again. 187 00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:33,346 This hypnotic suggestion was brought to you by Ravi. 188 00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:38,449 Ah, there it is. Silly me. 189 00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:40,610 [Ringing] 190 00:10:41,011 --> 00:10:43,719 So, how do you feel, Bertram? 191 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,640 Meow. 192 00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:53,854 What is the matter, Bertram? 193 00:10:53,855 --> 00:10:56,975 Nothing. I feel great. 194 00:10:57,245 --> 00:10:59,029 'Sup, Bertram? 195 00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:01,190 [Hissing] 196 00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:04,717 Cat got your tongue? 197 00:11:04,718 --> 00:11:07,898 Luke, what did you do? 198 00:11:08,029 --> 00:11:10,789 Stop it, Bertram! 199 00:11:11,662 --> 00:11:13,975 Why am I caught in your Kurta? 200 00:11:13,976 --> 00:11:18,018 Because Luke exploited your hypnotic state to make you act like a cat! 201 00:11:18,019 --> 00:11:20,927 Because you sabotaged all my exercise sessions! 202 00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:23,360 What are you guys talking about? 203 00:11:23,361 --> 00:11:27,587 Well, Luke and I disagreed about how to help you manage your stress. 204 00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:31,435 And I guess we kind of got carried away trying to prove who was right. 205 00:11:31,436 --> 00:11:33,356 What? 206 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:38,442 I thought you guys really cared about me, obviously I was wrong. 207 00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:40,704 We're really sorry... 208 00:11:40,705 --> 00:11:43,135 - Bertram. - Meow. 209 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,056 Meow! 210 00:11:51,558 --> 00:11:52,941 [Ted laughing] 211 00:11:52,942 --> 00:11:55,587 You know what, Jessie, I am having a really great time. 212 00:11:55,588 --> 00:11:58,108 Not for long. 213 00:11:58,529 --> 00:12:01,199 So, what's it like being a male model? 214 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,642 Awesome! These runway shows pay you a fortune 215 00:12:03,643 --> 00:12:06,997 to walk around, wear clothes, and look good, which... 216 00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:09,610 I was totally doing anyway! 217 00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:12,210 You know, I can't talk to Tony about fashion. 218 00:12:12,211 --> 00:12:16,147 He thinks an ankle boot is something you wear when you're under house arrest. 219 00:12:16,148 --> 00:12:19,082 Oh, whoa. Don't move. You've got a ladybug on your shoulder. 220 00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:23,223 You know those are good luck, right? 221 00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:28,264 Apparently, not for me. 222 00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:30,361 - Here, take my jacket. - No, really, I'm... 223 00:12:30,362 --> 00:12:32,102 Whoa. 224 00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:35,571 Uh. I mean, no, I'm arm enough. 225 00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:38,392 Warm! Warm enough! 226 00:12:38,987 --> 00:12:40,374 Oh, man! 227 00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:46,241 If Jessie's mindless babbling can't ruin this date, what hope do I have? 228 00:12:46,242 --> 00:12:49,380 Zuri, don't you have anything better to do than watch us eat? 229 00:12:49,381 --> 00:12:52,432 I'm eight. I've got nothing but time. 230 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:56,387 And according to my teacher, a very poor attitude. 231 00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:57,892 So, where's your girlfriend? 232 00:12:57,893 --> 00:13:00,258 Off having lunch with some hunky hayseed. 233 00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:03,348 I've never said this about anyone before but... 234 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,918 I think he may have better hair than me. 235 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,319 No way! 236 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,992 And if she likes that guy more than you, she's nuts! 237 00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:13,404 - You're perfect! - Jessie doesn't think so. 238 00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:15,657 She says I spend too much time bowling. 239 00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:18,337 What? How dare she! 240 00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:21,367 Bowling is the national sport of Brooklyn! 241 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,417 After running from the cops. [Both laugh] 242 00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,412 And remember what your grandma always used to say. 243 00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,600 Sorry, I had cabbage? 244 00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:32,971 Yeah, but also, L'Amour non trovare un difetto... 245 00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:34,768 L'Amour cieco. 246 00:13:34,769 --> 00:13:40,169 They're bonding in Italian? Mamma Mia, it's go time! 247 00:13:40,657 --> 00:13:42,817 [Barking] 248 00:13:45,017 --> 00:13:46,808 Tony: Aw, man! 249 00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:49,221 My meatball sub got munched by a mutt! 250 00:13:49,222 --> 00:13:52,704 Darn! Guess your cozy little lunch is ruined. 251 00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,605 Better get back to work, Tony. 252 00:13:54,606 --> 00:13:59,316 Oh, here, Tone, we can just share my pasta. 253 00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:01,860 You were supposed to take the pasta, too! 254 00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:04,188 I am so disappointed in you guys. 255 00:14:04,189 --> 00:14:06,349 [Whining] 256 00:14:10,674 --> 00:14:13,314 [Elevator dings] 257 00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:17,298 Good afternoon, Miss Prescott. Delivery. 258 00:14:17,299 --> 00:14:20,045 [Glass shattering] 259 00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:23,949 There goes my stained glass window kit. 260 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,250 What's wrong with you? 261 00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:29,922 Nothing's wrong. How was your lunch with G.Q. McCowboy? 262 00:14:29,923 --> 00:14:30,956 Aha! 263 00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,958 You're jealous that I had lunch with Ted. 264 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:36,144 I didn't have time to be jealous, because I was having lunch with Vic. 265 00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:37,703 What do you think about that? 266 00:14:37,704 --> 00:14:40,506 I think she seems like a very nice girl. 267 00:14:40,507 --> 00:14:43,195 I'm sure she has a heart as big as her hair. 268 00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,043 Aha! You're jealous! 269 00:14:45,044 --> 00:14:48,085 Oh, please, I'm not that immature. You can be friends with anyone you want. 270 00:14:48,086 --> 00:14:48,885 Thanks, I will. 271 00:14:48,886 --> 00:14:52,015 In fact, why don't we all be very mature and have dinner together? 272 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,223 One big sophisticated group of friends. 273 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:57,456 Fine by me. We'll have it at my place. I'll use the good China. 274 00:14:57,457 --> 00:15:00,559 - You mean styrofoam? - Yes, I mean styrofoam. 275 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,564 Excellent. I look forward to it. 276 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,785 As do I. 277 00:15:09,231 --> 00:15:10,952 Sorry, I need you to sign for that package. 278 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,593 Oh, right yeah! 279 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,246 [Music] 280 00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,672 [Elevator dings] 281 00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:22,960 Hey. 282 00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:25,456 How did your follow-up doctor's appointment go? 283 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:26,983 Like you guys care. 284 00:15:26,984 --> 00:15:30,660 Oh, we do! And we really want to apologize. 285 00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,947 All we wanted to do was see who could help you the most. 286 00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:38,801 So, when you think about it, we only hurt you because we care too much. 287 00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:41,312 That makes no sense. 288 00:15:41,313 --> 00:15:43,963 But I guess I forgive you. 289 00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:47,198 Thank you! So, what did your doctor say? 290 00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:51,772 He said thanks to you two, my stress levels are even higher than before. 291 00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:53,575 So he gave me a new prescription. 292 00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:55,175 - To meditate? - To exercise? 293 00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,178 Neither. 294 00:15:57,179 --> 00:16:00,498 Stay 50 feet away from children at all times. 295 00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:03,139 Doctors' orders. 296 00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:04,761 - But... - Back up. 297 00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,306 Back up. 298 00:16:06,307 --> 00:16:12,067 Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. 299 00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:15,146 Hello? It's cold out here! 300 00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:18,336 So, work up a sweat exercising. 301 00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:21,354 Or, meditate until you believe you're warm. 302 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,635 [Chuckling] 303 00:16:26,924 --> 00:16:29,436 Anyone want another Panini? 304 00:16:29,437 --> 00:16:31,657 [Sizzling] 305 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:36,349 No, thanks. My last one was a little linty. 306 00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:38,914 This is a real nice apartment, Tone. 307 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,098 And your neighbors are so friendly! 308 00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,542 Even the muggers have manners. 309 00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:48,188 Yeah, it's always nice to hear please before someone takes your wallet. 310 00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:50,127 I'm glad you like it, Vic. 311 00:16:50,128 --> 00:16:51,808 Some people don't appreciate it. 312 00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:55,229 Just because it doesn't have fancy things like a doorman or air conditioning... 313 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:59,562 Or a way to escape in the event of a fire. 314 00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:03,986 Well, excuse me for thinking you shouldn't live in a neighborhood called Murdertown. 315 00:17:03,987 --> 00:17:05,721 It's not called Murdertown! 316 00:17:05,722 --> 00:17:09,922 It's The Historic Murdertown District. 317 00:17:10,087 --> 00:17:13,927 Hey, you got a little something. 318 00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:20,158 Hey, Ted, you got a little something, too. 319 00:17:20,826 --> 00:17:22,931 - Oh, ow! - Oh, whoa! What's the matter? 320 00:17:22,932 --> 00:17:28,092 Oh, I think I just cut myself on your cheekbones. 321 00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,325 Okay, something's wrong here. 322 00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,572 Why would you say that, Ted? 323 00:17:33,573 --> 00:17:36,699 There's nothing wrong with my girlfriend obsessing over her supermodel ex. 324 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,572 Or with my boyfriend taking hours 325 00:17:38,573 --> 00:17:42,621 to teach his beautiful protegee how to open a ding-dang door! 326 00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:44,448 You've never understood my work! 327 00:17:44,449 --> 00:17:46,361 Opening doors is an art! 328 00:17:46,362 --> 00:17:51,238 No, it's not! It's something we all do to keep from running into walls! 329 00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:53,996 Oh, look, Tony left the oven open! 330 00:17:53,997 --> 00:17:56,433 Don't close it. That's the central heating. 331 00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:59,254 [Crashing] [Groans] 332 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,745 What are you two doing here? 333 00:18:02,746 --> 00:18:05,386 Keeping you and Tony from making a huge mistake! 334 00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:07,221 We're in this relationship, too, you know! 335 00:18:07,222 --> 00:18:09,109 Okay, I haven't been this confused since that 336 00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:11,788 modeling shoot for reversible underwear. 337 00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:15,335 I still don't know if I had them on inside out. 338 00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:17,760 You're lucky you're pretty. 339 00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:20,161 Very pretty. 340 00:18:20,773 --> 00:18:23,098 Jessie, may I speak with you in the living room? 341 00:18:23,099 --> 00:18:25,379 Absolutely. 342 00:18:28,195 --> 00:18:29,772 Why are you acting this way? 343 00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:33,592 What way? I'm not acting in a way! If anyone's acting in a way, it's you! 344 00:18:33,593 --> 00:18:38,292 Well, if you don't like the way I act, maybe you should just go out with Ted! 345 00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:39,837 Maybe I should! 346 00:18:39,838 --> 00:18:41,983 He and I have a lot more in common than we do. 347 00:18:41,984 --> 00:18:45,688 And if you think I don't understand you, why don't you just go out with Vic? 348 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,945 Done! 349 00:18:46,946 --> 00:18:49,792 Whoa, Tony, hold your Hair Gel! 350 00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:53,397 I did want to date you, but now that I see what a jealous mook you are. 351 00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,814 Forget about it. 352 00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:59,519 And Jessie, you didn't seem so interested when I looked like a before picture. 353 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,516 [Sighs] 354 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:03,955 Plus, you dumped me by texting my mom! 355 00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:07,710 I wanted you to hear it from someone who actually cared about you! 356 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,646 I'm not making it better, am I? 357 00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:13,085 Yikes, that is a bad way to dump someone. 358 00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:16,150 And that's coming from a girl who was once literally dumped... 359 00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:19,751 Out of the back of a truck. 360 00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:22,524 That is no way to treat a lady. 361 00:19:22,525 --> 00:19:26,729 Hey, you want to let these guys duke it out and go grab some fro-yo? 362 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,326 Okay! 363 00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:31,132 I know a great, cheap place on the corner. 364 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,258 We just got to duck the police tape. 365 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,591 Sweet. Oh, and don't worry about money. 366 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:41,492 When you're as pretty as me, you never have to pay for stuff. 367 00:19:41,857 --> 00:19:45,337 I did not see that coming. 368 00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:48,914 Okay, you guys obviously need your privacy. 369 00:19:48,915 --> 00:19:52,455 We'll wait in the bathroom. 370 00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:55,153 [Sighs] 371 00:19:55,154 --> 00:19:58,945 Jessie, what are we doing? This isn't us. 372 00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:02,305 Well, it wasn't us, but... 373 00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:07,240 The truth is, things just haven't been the same lately. 374 00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:10,806 - Have you felt that too? - Actually, yeah. 375 00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:13,243 I used to love doing things I hate with you. 376 00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:14,247 Me too! 377 00:20:14,248 --> 00:20:18,025 But now I have to fight the urge to throw your bowling ball through a windshield! 378 00:20:18,026 --> 00:20:20,473 And if I have to watch a movie with subtitles one more time, 379 00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,865 I'll puke in my popcorn! 380 00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:27,544 If I want to read, I'll pick up a comic book! 381 00:20:27,545 --> 00:20:29,465 So... 382 00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:33,706 I guess the spark is kind of gone. 383 00:20:34,573 --> 00:20:36,733 Kind of. 384 00:20:39,052 --> 00:20:42,505 Look, the truth is, I was attracted to Ted. 385 00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:44,888 Do you hate me? 386 00:20:44,889 --> 00:20:47,288 Actually, no. 387 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:50,471 Because if I'm being honest, I had feelings for Vic, too. 388 00:20:50,472 --> 00:20:52,512 [Sighs] 389 00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:57,090 So, what do we do now? 390 00:20:57,754 --> 00:21:02,255 I don't know. I mean, if we're noticing other people... 391 00:21:02,256 --> 00:21:05,845 Maybe it's a sign that we should see other people. 392 00:21:05,846 --> 00:21:08,664 And maybe even date 'em. 393 00:21:08,665 --> 00:21:12,002 - I guess that's what you... - That's what I meant when I said... 394 00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:13,923 So... 395 00:21:14,227 --> 00:21:17,167 Are we breaking up? 396 00:21:18,358 --> 00:21:20,758 I guess so. 397 00:21:20,777 --> 00:21:22,611 [Sighs] 398 00:21:22,612 --> 00:21:25,223 And I will always love you. 399 00:21:25,224 --> 00:21:27,441 I'll always love you, too. 400 00:21:27,442 --> 00:21:30,277 - Friends, right? - Absolutely! 401 00:21:30,278 --> 00:21:32,918 Friends. Always. 402 00:21:33,049 --> 00:21:34,372 [Blowing noses] 403 00:21:34,373 --> 00:21:35,399 [Sobbing hysterically] 404 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,827 How could you do this to us? 405 00:21:37,828 --> 00:21:40,759 I feel like I've been kicked in the gut! 406 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,380 And you couldn't have sprung for two-ply? 407 00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:50,247 Girls, come here, it'll be okay. 408 00:21:50,256 --> 00:21:52,956 Look, soon, this will all be just another one of my break-up stories 409 00:21:52,957 --> 00:21:55,463 that I tell over and over and over. 410 00:21:55,464 --> 00:21:57,523 [Both sobbing hysterically] 411 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,639 Okay, I get it. 412 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,824 This may be the wrong time to mention this, 413 00:22:01,825 --> 00:22:04,464 but there's definitely something swimming in this toilet. 414 00:22:04,465 --> 00:22:07,645 [Squeaking] [All scream] 415 00:22:09,891 --> 00:22:13,204 So, Ted and Vic ended up together. 416 00:22:13,205 --> 00:22:16,442 Tony and I broke up, and to top it all off... 417 00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:19,132 I had to fish a rat out of the toilet! 418 00:22:19,133 --> 00:22:23,016 Still sounds like one of your better dates. 419 00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:27,134 Sympathetic as always, but thanks you for listening, Bertram. 420 00:22:27,135 --> 00:22:29,055 Meow. 421 00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:33,455 Okay, you can stop listening now! 422 00:22:33,456 --> 00:22:37,129 What is wrong with you, Bertram? 423 00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:41,190 I'm sorry, you were saying something? 424 00:22:41,191 --> 00:22:44,279 Maybe I should start confiding in Emma. 425 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:50,180 Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend. Www.Addic7ed.Com.