1 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:05,304 - Wait up. - Yeah, you should keep up. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:06,638 I can keep up. 3 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:09,742 Whoa! 4 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:11,310 Neato! 5 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,313 A mysterious, boarded-up cave. 6 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,382 It might be filled with lost prehistoric life forms. 7 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,550 Or Mesoamerican gold. 8 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,319 Uh, ladies first. 9 00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:28,427 Ha ha! Good thing you've got your smarts, Poindexter. 10 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,661 I've got the other thing. 11 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,598 What is it called? Oh, right, punching. 12 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,635 Cool. Splinters. 13 00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:39,505 Whoa! It's so creepy in here. 14 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,606 Hey, don't worry, bro. 15 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,741 Wherever we go, we go together. 16 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,644 Don't forget to leave our names so they know who owns the place. 17 00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:51,650 Pines, Pines, Pines, Pines. 18 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,663 Finally, after all these long years of waiting, 19 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,531 you're actually here. 20 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,535 Brother! 21 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,338 Ow! What the heck was that for? 22 00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:48,640 This was an insanely risky move, 23 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,509 restarting the portal. 24 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,377 Didn't you read my warnings? 25 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,645 Warnings, schmarnings. 26 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,747 How's about maybe a thanks for saving you 27 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,382 from what appears to be, I don't know, 28 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,319 some kinda sci-fi sideburn dimension. 29 00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,454 Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you 30 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,490 after what you did 30 years ago? 31 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,624 What I did? 32 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,493 Why, you ungrateful... 33 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,697 Don't expect me to go easy on you 34 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,267 just because you're family. 35 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,468 Hey, hi. Mabel here. 36 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,669 Quick question. 37 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,605 What the heck is going on here? 38 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,275 Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. 39 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,677 And some sort of large, hairless gopher. 40 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,546 Ha ha, I get that a lot. 41 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,515 They're your family, Poindexter. 42 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,350 Shermy's grandkids. 43 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,353 I have a niece, and nephew? 44 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,622 Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? 45 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,558 I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time. 46 00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,627 Whoa, six-fingered handshake. 47 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,695 It's a full finger friendlier than normal. 48 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,465 Ha ha, I like this kid. She's weird. 49 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,534 I... I can't believe it. 50 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,702 You're the author of the journals. 51 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,704 You've read my journals? 52 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,673 I haven't just read them. 53 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,508 I've lived them. 54 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,410 I've been waiting for so long to meet you. 55 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,379 I don't know what to say. I have so many questions. 56 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,483 I think I'm gonna throw up. 57 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,285 No, no, false alarm. 58 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,320 Just gotta ride it out. 59 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,489 Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. 60 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,291 But first, tell me, Stan. 61 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,692 Are there any security breaches? 62 00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,395 Does anyone else know about this portal? 63 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,297 No. Just us. 64 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,598 Also, maybe the entire U.S. government. 65 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,366 The what?! 66 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,302 Fan out. We're not going anywhere 67 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:26,371 till we find Stan Pines and those kids. 68 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,307 Okay. It's all right. 69 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,442 We've got a while before they find this room. 70 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:32,711 We just need to lay low and think of a plan. 71 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,714 Well it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. 72 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,650 Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory? 73 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:42,387 Yes, I have some questions about all this myself, Stanley. 74 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:43,755 Stanley? 75 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,724 But your name is Stanford. 76 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:48,293 Wait, you took my name? 77 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,295 What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead? 78 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,763 Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies. 79 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,498 You owe us some answers. 80 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,700 What's the deal with this portal? 81 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,435 Why did you keep this a secret? 82 00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,503 And what happened between you and your brother? 83 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,373 I'm hoping all this aligns exactly with my fan-fic, Stan. 84 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,575 If not, I will be very disappointed. 85 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,344 Okay. Okay, okay. 86 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,246 I know I have a lot of explaining to do. 87 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,514 It all started a lifetime ago. 88 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,650 1960-something. 89 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:14,486 Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. 90 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,356 I lived with my ma and pa in the Lead Paint district 91 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,490 above the family pawn shop. 92 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,425 Dad was a strict man. 93 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,494 Tough as a cinder block, and not easily impressed. 94 00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,329 I'm not impressed. 95 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,265 Mom was a pathological liar, 96 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,633 which served her well as a phone psychic. 97 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,701 That'll be 99 cents an hour. 98 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,536 No, you're overpriced. 99 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,438 Yeah, I predicted you were gonna hang up. 100 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,507 And then, there was my nerdy twin brother Stanford. 101 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,277 As if his abnormally high IQ wasn't enough, 102 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,611 he also had a rare birth defect-- 103 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,446 six fingers on each hand, 104 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,282 which might've explained his obsession 105 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,717 with sci-fi mystery weirdness. 106 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:49,488 As for me, I had what Mom liked to call personality. 107 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,658 But as different as we were, 108 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,726 we were the perfect team, 109 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,561 and every day, we'd wander the beach, 110 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,363 looking for adventure. 111 00:04:58,398 --> 00:04:59,765 Whoa! 112 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,404 A shipwrecked sailboat. 113 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,239 Possibly haunted by pirate ghosts. 114 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,308 This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. 115 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,443 And I once saw a dead rat floating in a bucket. 116 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,379 Ew. What's wrong with you? 117 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,648 Huh. You know what this thing's missing? 118 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,517 Flags. 119 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:21,420 Kings of New Jersey, kings of New Jersey, 120 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,322 kings of New Jersey! 121 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,394 I dub thee the Stan O' War. 122 00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,696 Ow! What the heck? 123 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,265 Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins. 124 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,301 Nice boat. You get it at the dump? 125 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,439 You would know, Crampelter. Get lost! 126 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,341 Listen, dorks, and listen good. 127 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,309 You're a six-fingered freak, 128 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,712 and you're just a dumber, sweatier version of him. 129 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,580 And you're lucky you have each other, 130 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,682 because neither of you will ever make any friends. 131 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,753 Dorks and losers. 132 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:59,391 Hey, don't let those idiots get to you. 133 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,659 But I am a freak. 134 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,295 I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world 135 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,263 where weirdos like me fit in. 136 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,599 Hey, chin up, buddy. Look. 137 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,634 One of these days, you and me are gonna 138 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,470 sail away from this dumb town. 139 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,538 We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, 140 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,708 and be an unstoppable team of adventurers. 141 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,477 You really mean it? 142 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,445 - High six? - High six. 143 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,482 Those were the good times. 144 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,450 Those bullies may have been right about us 145 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,719 not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, 146 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,554 you only really need one. 147 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,396 Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year. 148 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,498 So did our pet project. 149 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,367 Sure, I got in more than my fair share of trouble, 150 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,336 but when your brother's the smartest kid in school, 151 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,304 you've always got a leg up on the competition. 152 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:52,577 The future was looking bright for both of us, 153 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,380 till one day. 154 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,516 Pines twins to the principal's office. 155 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,518 Pines twins to the principal's office. 156 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,486 Ah, great. What is it this time? 157 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,422 Not you. Him. 158 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,397 Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to speak with you 159 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,665 very frankly, if I may. 160 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,435 Very frankly is the only way I speak. 161 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,602 You have two sons. 162 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,238 One of them is incredibly gifted. 163 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,274 The other one is standing outside this room, and his name's Stanley. 164 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,309 What are you saying? 165 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,312 I'm saying your son Stanford is a genius! 166 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:28,713 All of his teachers are going bananas 167 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,682 over his science fair experiment. 168 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,517 You ever heard of West Coast Tech? 169 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,386 Best college in the country. 170 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,654 Their graduates turn science fiction 171 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,355 into science fact. 172 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,524 The admissions team is visiting tomorrow 173 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,460 to check out Stanford's experiment. 174 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,428 Your son may be a future millionaire, Mr. Pines. 175 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,597 I'm impressed. 176 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,400 But what about our little free spirit Stanley? 177 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,701 That clown? At this rate, 178 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,270 he'll be lucky to graduate high school. 179 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,639 Look, there's a saltwater taffy store on the dock, 180 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,476 and somebody's gotta get paid to scrape the barnacles off of it. 181 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,612 Stanford's going places, but hey, look on the bright side. 182 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,282 At least you'll have one son here in New Jersey forever. 183 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,650 Joke's on them if they think 184 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,486 you wanna go to some stuffy college 185 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,321 on the other side of the country. 186 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,490 Once we get the Stan O' War complete, 187 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,225 it's gonna be beaches, babes, 188 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,693 and international treasure hunting for us. 189 00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:18,363 Look, Stan, I can't pass up a chance like this. 190 00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,265 This school has cutting-edge programs 191 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,367 and multi-dimensional paradigm theory. 192 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,703 Be-boop. I am a nerd robot. 193 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,605 That's you. That's what you sound like. 194 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,707 Ah, well, 195 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:32,344 if the college board isn't impressed with my experiment tomorrow, 196 00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,346 then okay, I'll do the treasure hunting thing. 197 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,547 And if they are? 198 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,250 Well, then I guess you better come visit me 199 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,385 on the other side of the country. 200 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:46,324 Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo. 201 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,493 I couldn't make it out there without him. 202 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,362 And now, thanks to that dumb college, 203 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,697 I was gonna lose my brother forever. 204 00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:59,571 This is all your fault, you dumb machine! 205 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,573 Oh, no. No, no, no. What did I do? 206 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,344 There. All right. 207 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,213 Good as new. Probably. 208 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,653 All right, kid, show us what you got. 209 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:17,222 Okay. Well, what would you say 210 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,257 if I told you the future of technology 211 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,226 was beneath this sheet? 212 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,627 I'd say we wasted a car trip. 213 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,230 What? 214 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,399 But it was stable yesterday. 215 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,367 A fuse must've blown or something. 216 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,536 Kid, a perpetual motion machine has one job-- 217 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,471 to not stop. 218 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,274 I don't think you're West Coast Tech material. 219 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,642 No, wait. Don't go! 220 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,544 I worked so hard. 221 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,518 One paddle paddle paddle, two paddle paddle. 222 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,486 Man, that Jackie O. What a fox. 223 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,355 Hey, what's the word, sixer? 224 00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:52,257 Can you explain what this was doing 225 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,658 next to my broken project? 226 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,561 Okay. I might've accidentally been... 227 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,463 horsing around. 228 00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,432 This was no accident, Stan. You did this. 229 00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:02,400 You did this because you couldn't handle me 230 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,535 going to college on my own. 231 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,403 Look, it was a mistake. 232 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,638 Although, if you think about it, 233 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,506 maybe there's a silver lining. 234 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,475 Huh? Treasure hunting? 235 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,344 Are you kidding me? 236 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,279 Why would I wanna do anything with the person 237 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,448 who sabotaged my entire future? 238 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,384 You did what, you knucklehead? 239 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,587 Stanley, what's going on in here? 240 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,623 Wait, no. I can explain. It was a mistake. 241 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,491 You ignoramus. 242 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,294 Your brother was gonna be our ticket outta this dump. 243 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,296 All you ever do is lie and cheat, 244 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,431 and ride on your brother's coattails. 245 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,500 Well, this time, you cost our family 246 00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,369 potential millions. 247 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,371 And until you make us a fortune, 248 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,705 you're not welcome in this household. 249 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:44,309 What?! Stanford, tell him he's being crazy. 250 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,614 Stanford? Don't leave me hanging. 251 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,616 High six? 252 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,454 Fine! I can make it on my own. 253 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,456 I don't need you, I don't need anyone. 254 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,758 I'll make millions, and you'll rue the day 255 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,427 you turned your back on me. 256 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,462 Thanks to one dumb mistake, I had no brother, 257 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,531 no home, no nothing. 258 00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,500 But I had a plan to fix everything. 259 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,406 Oh, this story's so sad. 260 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,375 I know what you two little broken teacups need. 261 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,377 To hug it out. 262 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,346 Hug it out. 263 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,748 Hug train's comin' to the station. 264 00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,718 Hugapalooza 2000! 265 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,486 Kid, will you knock that off? 266 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,755 I'm trying to tell my life story here. 267 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,558 I had decided I wasn't gonna show my face at home 268 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,660 till I proved I could make something of myself. 269 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,662 Unfortunately, the treasure hunting business 270 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,564 was slow going. 271 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:42,667 Apparently, gold is some kind of rare metal. 272 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,370 Luckily, I struck another kind of gold. 273 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,472 In sales. 274 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:48,740 Hi there. I'm Stan Pines 275 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,508 of Stanco Enterprises. 276 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,745 Are you sick of this always happening to you? 277 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,514 Then you need the chamois of the future. 278 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,350 Made with the same material astronauts use 279 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,519 to clean up cranberry stains on the moon. 280 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,254 That's the Sham Total. 281 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,557 It's a total sham. 282 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,459 I had made my mark, all right. 283 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,294 Unfortunately, so did the chamois. 284 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,596 Apparently, the cheap dye I used to color them 285 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,531 only made stains worse. 286 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,567 Customers weren't crazy about that. 287 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,335 Luckily, they were chasing me 288 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:19,304 with Stanco-brand pitchforks. 289 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,639 Suckers! 290 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,342 I was officially banned from New Jersey. 291 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,311 But with a quick name change, 292 00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:27,612 Steve Pinington was ready to take on Pennsylvania. 293 00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,547 Hi. I'm Steve Pinington. 294 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,283 Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? 295 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,585 Then what you need is the Rip Off. 296 00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,587 The Rip Off won't give you rashes. 297 00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:38,289 I repeat, it won't give you rashes. 298 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,358 It gave you rashes. 299 00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:44,696 I traveled the whole country, 300 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,464 sometimes outside of it, 301 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,399 always one step ahead of the law, 302 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,770 looking for something that would be my big break. 303 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,406 Whoa. So that explains all the fake ID's. 304 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,708 But wait, what about you? 305 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,710 Did you end up going to your dream school? 306 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,345 Not exactly. 307 00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,679 All right, I know Backupsmore 308 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,249 wasn't anyone's first choice, 309 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,450 but what we lack in prestige 310 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,453 we make up for in mostly bug-free dorms. 311 00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:10,355 I'm sure your families are proud. 312 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,657 More or less. 313 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,560 In a place like that, I had to work twice as hard. 314 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,462 Luckily, that's what I do best. 315 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,464 I went from undergrad to PhD 316 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,332 three years ahead of schedule, 317 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,567 wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, 318 00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,469 and was awarded an enormous grant 319 00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,337 for my own scientific research. 320 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,705 But what to study? 321 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,474 My whole life, I'd been teased 322 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,276 for my six fingers. 323 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,611 But that got me thinking about anomalies. 324 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,414 Things that were odd, unusual, 325 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,715 statistically improbable. 326 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,651 And according to my investigations, 327 00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,620 there was one place with a higher concentration 328 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,290 of these things than anywhere else. 329 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:48,393 A small lumber town in Roadkill County, Oregon. 330 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,761 Gravity Falls. 331 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,666 Meanwhile, your old Uncle Stan was doing great. 332 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,568 I'd come up with 333 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,603 a sophisticated new business strategy. 334 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,606 Come on. Owl, owl... 335 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,608 Football player with an omelet?! 336 00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,543 Gah! 337 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,414 I was in great shape, living on my own, 338 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:12,550 and the best part was, I didn't need help from nobody. 339 00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,391 Hello. This is Stanford Pines. 340 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:26,297 I was heading out on my own, as well. 341 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,366 I set to work using my grant money 342 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,402 to investigate the strange properties of this town. 343 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,304 But what would I find here? 344 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,711 Bingo. I began to investigate at once. 345 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,747 I knew I'd have to record my findings. 346 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,322 I began to keep a journal. 347 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,426 The journals! 348 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,428 Sorry, sorry. 349 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,597 Got excited there 350 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,499 about the journals. Keep talking. 351 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:04,302 I began to keep a journal. 352 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,405 Just, going to ignore that. 353 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,474 There were anomalies everywhere. 354 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:12,243 And the more I looked, the more I saw. 355 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,259 Fascinating. 356 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,627 What did you say your name was? 357 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,397 Shmebulock... senior. 358 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,666 It was finally a place where I felt at home, 359 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,435 but something nagged at me. 360 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:38,703 Where did it all come from? 361 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,405 It seemed to me the answer must lie 362 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,273 outside of our world, 363 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,475 a dimension of weirdness leaking into ours. 364 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,678 I realized the only way to understand Gravity Falls 365 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,380 would be to build a gateway, a portal 366 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,416 to the source of its weirdness. 367 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,717 But I couldn't make it alone. 368 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,752 I decided to call up my old college buddy, 369 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,454 Fiddleford McGucket, 370 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,489 a young but brilliant mechanic 371 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,258 who was wasting his talent 372 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,492 trying to make personal computers 373 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,227 in some garage in Palo Alto. 374 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,364 Hello. Fiddleford Computermajigs. 375 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,699 You say you're trying to build 376 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,667 a trans-universal poly-dimensional meta vortex? 377 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,636 Well, that's mathematically feasible, 378 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,638 I reckon. 379 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:17,342 Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. 380 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,277 It would be the crowning achievement 381 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,546 of my studies, an answer to the source 382 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,481 of this town's anomalies. 383 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,450 Get out, get out, get out! 384 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,587 The time had come to test it. 385 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,659 Ready? And... 386 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,394 What? 387 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,434 I got you, buddy. 388 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,375 What is it? Is it working? 389 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,576 What did you see? 390 00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,447 Fiddleford? 391 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,483 When Gravity Falls and earth becomes sky, 392 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,451 fear the beast with just one eye. 393 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,253 Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself. 394 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,588 You're not making any sense. 395 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,390 This machine is dangerous. 396 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,258 You'll bring about the end of the world with this. 397 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,626 Destroy it before it destroys us all! 398 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,362 I can't destroy this. It's my life's work. 399 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,265 I fear we've unleashed a great danger on the world. 400 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,667 One I'd just as soon forget. I quit. 401 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,537 Fine. I'll do it without you. 402 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,472 I don't need you, I don't need anyone. 403 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:27,445 What? Who said that? 404 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,580 I was in over my head, 405 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,516 and feared I was losing my sanity. 406 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,285 I needed help. Someone I could trust. 407 00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,290 Just give me a few more days, Rico. 408 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,592 I'll pay your goons back, I swear. 409 00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:03,414 You haven't seen your brother in over ten years. 410 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,616 It's okay. He's family. He won't bite. 411 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:10,388 Who is it? Have you come to steal my eyes? 412 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,324 Well, I can always count on you 413 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,492 for a warm welcome. 414 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:22,433 Stanley, did anyone follow you, anyone at all? 415 00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,569 Hello to you, too, pal. 416 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,639 Hey, what is this? 417 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,509 Sorry. I just had to make sure you weren't... 418 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,277 uh, it's nothing. 419 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,246 Come in, come in. 420 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,416 Look, are you gonna explain what's going on here? 421 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,451 You're acting like Mom after her tenth cup of coffee. 422 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,353 Listen, there isn't much time. 423 00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,688 I've made huge mistakes, 424 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,590 and I don't know who I can trust anymore. 425 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,726 Hey, easy there. Let's talk this through, okay? 426 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,529 I have something to show you. 427 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,498 Something you won't believe. 428 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,299 I've been around the world, okay? 429 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:58,436 Whatever it is, I'll understand. 430 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,272 There is nothing about this I understand. 431 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,307 It's a trans-universal gateway, 432 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,543 a punched hole through a weak spot in our dimension. 433 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:09,247 I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe. 434 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,581 But it could just as easily be harnessed 435 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,550 for terrible destruction. 436 00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:14,552 That's why I shut it down and hid my journals 437 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,454 which explain how to operate it. 438 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,356 There's only one journal left. 439 00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:22,360 And you are the only person I can trust to take it. 440 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,694 I have something to ask of you. 441 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,264 Remember our plans to sail around the world 442 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,232 on a boat? 443 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,667 Take this book, get on a boat, 444 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,303 and sail as far away as you can. 445 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,538 To the edge of the earth. 446 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,407 Bury it where no one can find it. 447 00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,510 That's it? 448 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,712 You finally wanna see me after ten years, 449 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,582 and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible? 450 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,251 Stanley, you don't understand what I'm up against. 451 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,619 What I've been through. 452 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,488 No, no, you don't understand what I've been through. 453 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,590 I've been to prison in three different countries. 454 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,560 I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car. 455 00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:57,295 You think you've got problems? 456 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,363 I've got a mullet, Stanford. 457 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,465 Meanwhile, where have you been? 458 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,534 Living it up in your fancy house in the woods, 459 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,570 selfishly hoarding your college money, 460 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,471 because you only care about yourself. 461 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,540 I'm selfish? I'm selfish? 462 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,409 Stanley, how can you say that 463 00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,511 after costing me my dream school? 464 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,314 I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life, 465 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:17,582 and you won't even listen. 466 00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:19,417 Well, listen to this. 467 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,718 You want me to get rid of this book? 468 00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,587 Fine, I'll get rid of it right now. 469 00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:23,721 No! You don't understand. 470 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,756 You said you wanted me to have it, 471 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,758 - so I'll do what I want with it. - My research! 472 00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,297 Stanley, give it back. 473 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,535 You want it back, you're gonna have to try harder than that. 474 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,606 You left me behind, you jerk. 475 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,574 It was supposed to be us forever. 476 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,444 - You ruined my life. - You ruined your own life. 477 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,449 Stanley. Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 478 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:52,617 Are you all right? 479 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,624 Some brother you turned out to be. 480 00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,593 You care more about your dumb mysteries than your family. 481 00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,662 Well then you can have 'em. 482 00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,498 Whoa, whoa, hey. What's going on? 483 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,301 - Hey, Stanford... - Stanley, help me. 484 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,336 - What do I do? - Stanley! 485 00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,505 Stanley, do something! 486 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:20,578 Stanford? 487 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,283 Stanford, come back. I didn't mean it. 488 00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,753 I just got him back. 489 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,389 I can't lose him again. 490 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,423 Come on! 491 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:35,293 Stanford! 492 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,761 I lost him. 493 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,363 I didn't know if he was dead or alive 494 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:40,698 in some distant galaxy, 495 00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:42,600 but I knew his journal must have the answer 496 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,735 to getting him back... somehow. 497 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,311 I didn't get much sleep that night. 498 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,381 Or the night after that. 499 00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,651 I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on. 500 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,453 But without the other two journals, 501 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,522 it was hopeless. 502 00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,457 Finally, I ran out of food. 503 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,693 I had no choice but to go into town. 504 00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,431 Just the bread then there, stranger? 505 00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,366 That'll be 99 cents. 506 00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,637 Hey, that's no stranger. 507 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,340 That must be the mysterious science guy 508 00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,342 that lives in the woods. 509 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,610 No, no, you got the wrong guy. 510 00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,714 I've heard strange stories about that old shack. 511 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:33,584 Yeah, mysterious lights and spooky experiments. 512 00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:35,619 Gosh, I'd pay anything 513 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:38,556 to see what kind of shenanigans you get up to in there. 514 00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,459 Me, too. Do you ever give tours? 515 00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,694 No, really, I... 516 00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,566 Yes, I do give tours. 517 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,668 Ten... no, no, 15 bucks a person. 518 00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:57,308 So what did you say your name was, 519 00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,343 you man of mystery? 520 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,245 Oh, Stan... ford. 521 00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:03,581 Stanford Pines. 522 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,385 Step right up, folks, 523 00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:10,354 to a world of enchantment or whatever. 524 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,624 Behold the nerdy science box. 525 00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:17,294 Ah! My eye! 526 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,630 Uh, I can assure you, that is in no way permanent. 527 00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:23,367 - I paid $15 for this? 528 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:27,338 Uh, you're lucky you weren't part of the last tour group. 529 00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,740 They never made it out alive. 530 00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:32,276 Right? 531 00:23:35,313 --> 00:23:36,480 Funny. 532 00:23:36,515 --> 00:23:38,382 So I came up with a plan. 533 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,284 I couldn't leave my brother's house 534 00:23:40,318 --> 00:23:41,619 until I figured out how to save him. 535 00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:43,487 But I needed to pay his mortgage somehow. 536 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,327 For once in my life, 537 00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,363 people were actually buying what I was selling. 538 00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:54,331 And so, the Murder Hut was born. 539 00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:55,699 Later renamed the Mystery Shack. 540 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,636 Finally, I'd found something I was good at. 541 00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,405 For once, being a liar and a cheat paid off. 542 00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:03,574 The old me was dead. 543 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,410 And I faked a car crash to prove it. 544 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,580 By day, I was Stanford Pines, Mr. Mystery. 545 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,617 But by night, I was down in the basement, 546 00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,686 trying to bring the real Stanford back. 547 00:24:17,589 --> 00:24:19,423 I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth 548 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,258 and sabotaging my mission. 549 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,593 So I lied to everyone. 550 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,495 The town, my family, your parents. 551 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,397 Even you kids. 552 00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,633 So all this time, you were just trying to save your brother. 553 00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:32,736 Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. 554 00:24:32,771 --> 00:24:34,438 That's okay, kid. 555 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,640 I probably wouldn't have believed me either. 556 00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:38,542 I heard talking. It was coming from downstairs. 557 00:24:38,577 --> 00:24:40,678 Oh no, it's too late. The agents are coming for us. 558 00:24:40,712 --> 00:24:42,480 What do we do? 559 00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,715 Oh, man, I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale, 560 00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:46,417 I forgot all about those dudes. 561 00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,486 Wait. Forget. That's it. 562 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,556 I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents. 563 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,391 Of course. 564 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:55,659 I don't know how you got a hold of one of these, 565 00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:57,628 but this is perfect. 566 00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:01,298 If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency. 567 00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,436 There. Now everyone, plug your ears! 568 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:07,505 Get down now! 569 00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,406 Sir, looks like there's a hidden door 570 00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:10,608 behind the vending machines. 571 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,477 Excellent. Get me Washington on line one. 572 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,514 I've been practicing making sounds of excitement for this very occasion. 573 00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:18,516 Hey, do you hear that? 574 00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:30,694 What? Where am I? 575 00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:34,732 Why am I standing in some sort of goofy, fun knick-knack house? 576 00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,600 Stand down, gentlemen. 577 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:39,370 I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington. 578 00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:40,571 According to this very real report, 579 00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:42,640 the power surges in Gravity Falls 580 00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:44,508 were actually due to radiation 581 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,477 from an unreported meteor shower. 582 00:25:46,511 --> 00:25:48,546 A total embarrassment for your whole department. 583 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:51,315 Luckily, I'm here to take this mess off your hands. 584 00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:53,450 But I'll need all of your floppy disks, 585 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:56,420 and, uh, eight tracks. Right? 586 00:25:56,454 --> 00:26:01,258 Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive. 587 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:03,460 Well, what are you waiting for? A kiss on the cheek? 588 00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:05,563 Get outta here before I have your butts court-martialed. 589 00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:08,566 Uh, yes, sir. Apologies, sir. 590 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,634 False alarm, everyone. 591 00:26:10,669 --> 00:26:12,670 Whoa. 592 00:26:23,281 --> 00:26:26,250 Great-uncle Stanford, that was amazing. 593 00:26:26,284 --> 00:26:28,285 Let's not go crazy. It was serviceable. 594 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,587 Ha ha, thank you, kids. 595 00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:31,388 But please, call me Ford. 596 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,724 Sure. Thanks, great-uncle Ford. 597 00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,659 So, uh, would you mind if I asked you 598 00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:37,394 a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls? 599 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,663 Um, well, I, uh... 600 00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:41,599 All right, kids, it's been a long day and 601 00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:43,701 me and my brother have a lot to talk about. 602 00:26:43,735 --> 00:26:45,669 - Why don't you hit the hay, huh? - But it's the author. 603 00:26:45,704 --> 00:26:47,538 I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-- 604 00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:50,541 I said, hit the hay! 605 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:55,579 I'll just let myself out. 606 00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,617 Wendy, I've got something amazing to tell you. 607 00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,485 Clear the next 14 hours! 608 00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,254 Look at us. 609 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,256 When did we become old men? 610 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:07,591 You look like Dad. 611 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:10,661 Don't say that. 612 00:27:12,495 --> 00:27:13,397 Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. 613 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:16,300 You can stay here for the summer to watch the kids. 614 00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,668 I'll stay down in the basement 615 00:27:17,702 --> 00:27:19,670 and try to contain any remaining damage. 616 00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,472 But when the summer's over, 617 00:27:21,506 --> 00:27:23,307 you give me my house back, 618 00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:24,642 you give me my name back, 619 00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:26,577 and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. 620 00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:28,479 You got it? 621 00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:30,280 You really aren't gonna thank me, are you? 622 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,684 Fine. On one condition. 623 00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:35,419 You stay away from the kids. 624 00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:37,287 I don't want them in danger. 625 00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:38,722 Because as far as I'm concerned, 626 00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:41,725 they're the only family I have left. 627 00:27:47,365 --> 00:27:49,333 Did you hear what they said? 628 00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:51,301 I think Uncle Ford said they're gonna buy us 629 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,303 puppies made of ice cream. 630 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,571 Might be wishful thinking, though. 631 00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:56,440 I don't know if this is good or bad. 632 00:27:56,474 --> 00:27:58,542 I wanted to meet the author, but... 633 00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:01,578 Yeah. I liked the way things were here before. 634 00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:03,580 Just us and Stan, 635 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,616 and the occasional goblin monster. 636 00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:08,385 I'm sure they'll work things out. 637 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,354 Dipper, you don't think we'll turn out 638 00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,289 like Stan and Ford, do you? 639 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,258 What do you mean? 640 00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:16,694 I mean, they used to be best friends, 641 00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:19,463 but then, they got all stupid. 642 00:28:19,497 --> 00:28:21,632 Can you promise me you won't get stupid? 643 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:23,701 Not stupider than you, dum-dum. 644 00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:26,637 Good night, stupid. 645 00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:28,572 Good night, stupid. 646 00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:35,579 Okay okay, so it turns out the second Stan, 647 00:28:35,613 --> 00:28:37,514 the Stan that we know, 648 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:39,383 was actually Stanley, 649 00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:41,618 but the first Stan was Stanford, 650 00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:43,387 but we didn't know 651 00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,355 until the Stanford came out of the portal, 652 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,257 which was built by Stanford, 653 00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,393 but then Stanley pretending to be Stanford, 654 00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:51,628 he did the portal 'cause he's Stan, 655 00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:53,297 but he's not Stan. 656 00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,265 Soos, it's 3:00 in the morning. 657 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:56,600 Okay, okay, I understand. 658 00:28:56,634 --> 00:28:58,702 Anyway, act two, Stan started... 659 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:00,337 Aaaah!