1
00:00:11,518 --> 00:00:13,452
Halt!
2
00:00:13,487 --> 00:00:15,237
I've got to hand it to this perp.
3
00:00:15,289 --> 00:00:17,406
No one's broken out
of the infinetentiary before.
4
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:20,542
He's either the bravest time-convict
I've ever seen or the dumbest.
5
00:00:21,578 --> 00:00:23,595
Ow! Ohh!
6
00:00:23,630 --> 00:00:26,698
My time-knee!
Oh, time-dang it!
7
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:30,224
- Definitely the dumbest.
- Freeze! You're surrounded by
8
00:00:30,259 --> 00:00:33,472
the time paradox
avoidance enforcement squadron.
9
00:00:33,507 --> 00:00:37,642
Anything you say can and already has
been used against you in future court.
10
00:00:37,678 --> 00:00:40,345
This is it, Blendin.
End of the timeline.
11
00:00:40,397 --> 00:00:42,347
Any last words?
12
00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:44,683
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...
I-I-I-I...
13
00:00:44,735 --> 00:00:48,587
I invoke Globnar!
14
00:00:48,622 --> 00:00:51,273
Globnar!!!
15
00:00:51,325 --> 00:00:54,493
Very well, speak the name
and century of those accused.
16
00:00:54,528 --> 00:00:56,495
The two kids that ruined my life,
17
00:00:56,530 --> 00:00:59,598
Dipper and Mabel Pines,
21st century.
18
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:06,638
So be it.
19
00:01:06,673 --> 00:01:11,543
May time baby
have mercy on their souls.
20
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:57,699
Candy! Candy!
Candy! Candy.
21
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:02,688
- No! It's trapped!
- Everything is terrible forever!
22
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,757
Psst. Hey, dudes.
You want to know a trick?
23
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,692
Boppity-boop-womp!
24
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,093
A genius
taught me that once.
25
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:12,097
This just in. Weather stations
are calling for a candy blizzard!
26
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:16,735
Forget taking off the wrappers.
I'm eating these now!
27
00:02:16,787 --> 00:02:19,104
Soos, you are the greatest
human ever to live.
28
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,775
That was a mistake!
29
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,711
Hey, no sweat, dude.
I'd do anything for the Pines family.
30
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:29,782
Soos! I need to scratch
myself in two places at once.
31
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:30,950
And I mean anything.
32
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,184
Coming, Mr. Pines!
33
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,155
Whoa, better make sure
he gets his wallet back.
34
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:39,825
Wait, I've never seen
Soos's wallet before.
35
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,728
Don't you want to
learn some Soos secrets?
36
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,196
I don't know if we should be...
Whoa!
37
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,865
Soos has a membership to Laser Tag?
38
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,834
I didn't know they
let grown-ups in there.
39
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,737
And look, emergency salami.
40
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,006
Soos, my respect for you has grown.
41
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,909
Jesus Alzamirano Ramirez,
42
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,144
organ donor, birthday: July 13th.
43
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,146
Wait a minute.
That's today.
44
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:03,749
- Whoa.
- That's weird.
45
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:04,817
I wonder why he didn't tell anyone.
46
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,720
Uh, duh. It's probably
because he wants someone
47
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:10,856
to throw him a surprise party.
I can relate.
48
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,858
I've been waiting for a
surprise party my whole life.
49
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,710
Surprise!
50
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,897
- Too little, too late, Chiu.
- Ohh.
51
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:24,970
More exclamation points!
More, I say!
52
00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:26,972
Wow, you guys thought of everything.
53
00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:29,859
- Grenda, twins are born birthday experts.
- We've shared
54
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:33,578
every birthday together so we
know how to make them perfect.
55
00:03:35,116 --> 00:03:37,750
Hey, places, everyone.
I hear footsteps.
56
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,918
Everyone, be quiet!
57
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,987
All right, you promised
a giant hummingbird,
58
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,073
so I'm expecting to
see a giant hummingbird.
59
00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:46,959
Three, two, one...
60
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,193
Huh?
61
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,962
Surprise!
62
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:53,832
Happy birthday, you king on Earth.
We got everything you love.
63
00:03:53,868 --> 00:03:56,168
Cake-flavored pizza.
Pizza-flavored cake.
64
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,836
And one more treat.
65
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:04,009
Razzle dazzle, friends.
It's me, the Razz Dazzler.
66
00:04:04,045 --> 00:04:06,745
This is what my life has become.
67
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,847
I...I...
68
00:04:08,883 --> 00:04:12,101
Quick, everyone pose for the
birthday smiles memory album.
69
00:04:12,153 --> 00:04:15,020
♪ razzly-dazzly-doo ♪
70
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,158
Soos, what's wrong?
71
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,761
It's, uh, it's nothing.
I, uh...
72
00:04:22,797 --> 00:04:25,163
I gotta go fix a pipe or something.
73
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,700
Whoa, did you guys see Soos?
74
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,770
What happened to... Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
75
00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:34,039
Okay, you guys didn't know,
so it's not your fault,
76
00:04:34,075 --> 00:04:35,974
but Soos hates his birthday.
77
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,043
- What?
- It's a total mystery.
78
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:40,012
I guess he's been like
this since he was a kid.
79
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,014
Some weird personal biz.
80
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,116
There's gotta be something we can do.
81
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:47,086
- We've tried everything.
- I even petitioned the government
82
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,954
to have this day removed from calendars.
83
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,823
Now I'm not allowed on airplanes.
84
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,029
I don't know, guys,
85
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,997
maybe we should just
leave him alone, you know?
86
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,833
No one should be alone
on their birthday.
87
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,836
There's got to be a way to cheer him up.
We just need to try harder.
88
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,037
You're right, Dipper!
89
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,940
It's time for us to
bring out the big guns.
90
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,878
All right, guys,
blindfold me once, shame on you,
91
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,746
blindfold me twice...
Wait a minute.
92
00:05:14,799 --> 00:05:16,048
Hot dog smell?
93
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,150
Sticky floors? Future sounds?
94
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,055
Laser Tag?
I love Laser Tag.
95
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,756
How did you guys know?
96
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,025
Um. We definitely didn't
rifle through your wallet.
97
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,029
Welcome to the year 8,000.
98
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,065
Society? Collapsed.
99
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,734
Fog machines? Everywhere.
100
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,070
Are these walls just
mattresses spray-painted purple?
101
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,038
I think this place used
to be a mattress store.
102
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:42,975
I don't know, guys,
I'm not sure I'm up for this today.
103
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,144
Don't worry, Soos.
As soon as you start playing with us,
104
00:05:45,162 --> 00:05:46,879
you're gonna have a great time.
105
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,915
We promise, no matter what happens
we won't leave your side.
106
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,751
Well, I guess, I could give it a shot.
107
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:53,886
Prepare for laser battle
108
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,087
in three, two...
109
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:02,094
Uh-oh.
Better tie down these cowboys.
110
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,834
Whoa! This is even
cooler than I imagined.
111
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,803
Look how real these laser guys are.
112
00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:14,106
Kick deflected.
113
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,808
Thank you for buying Digicod,
the smart codpiece.
114
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,811
- Wait, what?
- Oh, no.
115
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,813
Soos!
116
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,982
Mabel? Dipper? Dudes?
117
00:06:24,018 --> 00:06:25,150
Soos!
118
00:06:25,186 --> 00:06:28,754
Nice try, but that's
solid timetanium, kid.
119
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,889
There's only one way out of here.
120
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,758
Through me!
121
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:38,080
Oh, uh, sorry.
Come on.
122
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:41,733
Through me! And that's
what it would have been like
123
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,136
if I'd just gotten it
right the very first chance,
124
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:45,871
but it still is effective.
125
00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:50,879
The time traveler guy!
126
00:06:50,915 --> 00:06:53,048
What did you say your name was again?
127
00:06:53,084 --> 00:06:55,751
Blendo?
Blondin?
128
00:06:55,786 --> 00:06:57,786
- Blarblar.
- There it is.
129
00:06:57,822 --> 00:07:00,789
It's Blendin!
Blendin Blenjamin Blendin.
130
00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:03,642
How could you not know my
name after you ruined my life?!
131
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,628
Initiate flashback!
132
00:07:06,664 --> 00:07:08,764
It was after you stole my time device
133
00:07:08,799 --> 00:07:10,616
to win your stupid pig.
134
00:07:10,651 --> 00:07:13,001
I was cast out of the time
anomaly removal crew...
135
00:07:13,037 --> 00:07:14,870
my whole life's purpose.
136
00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:16,004
And then I was given
137
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,841
ten squared life
sentences in time prison.
138
00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:21,810
I've spent every day since
then planning my vengeance.
139
00:07:23,914 --> 00:07:27,816
And now finally, it has come!
140
00:07:27,852 --> 00:07:29,836
Look, we're sorry about
all that, but we're in
141
00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:31,820
the middle of something
really important right now.
142
00:07:31,856 --> 00:07:32,988
It's our friend's birthday today,
143
00:07:33,023 --> 00:07:34,957
and we promised we
wouldn't leave his side.
144
00:07:34,992 --> 00:07:38,627
What?! You think some dumb
birthday matters right now?
145
00:07:38,662 --> 00:07:42,831
- Do you know where you are?
- Welcome to Globnar!
146
00:07:51,859 --> 00:07:55,711
- Is this a reality show?
- Are we in Japan?
147
00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:59,581
It's gladiatorial time combat!
148
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:05,787
The winner
gets a precious time wish
149
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,956
and then decides the loser's fate.
150
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:09,791
N-N-No! Please!
151
00:08:14,665 --> 00:08:17,533
And the two of you are
officially challenged.
152
00:08:17,568 --> 00:08:19,801
Dundgren!
Get me my war paint.
153
00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:21,003
Dipper, we need a way out of here.
154
00:08:21,038 --> 00:08:26,008
- But how?
- I have an idea.
155
00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:28,644
Hang in there, Soos,
we're coming for you.
156
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:31,680
Dipper? Mabel?
Requesting back-up.
157
00:08:31,715 --> 00:08:32,748
Ah! Ah!
158
00:08:32,783 --> 00:08:34,583
Oh! Ah! Oh, no.
159
00:08:34,618 --> 00:08:38,020
- Laser Robbie.
- Dudes?
160
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:45,594
Oh, my stars.
Could it be my little, um...
161
00:08:45,629 --> 00:08:48,797
Lolphy! It's me.
162
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:53,988
Your great-great-great-great-
great-great-great
163
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:57,405
grandmother from the past times.
164
00:08:58,809 --> 00:08:59,808
Gam-gam?
165
00:09:01,612 --> 00:09:03,779
Yeah, neon green is good.
This is a good color for me.
166
00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:05,814
It's fierce... Huh?
What? No!
167
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,684
You can't let them escape!
Stop there!
168
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:10,586
Gam-gam, how could you?
169
00:09:10,621 --> 00:09:12,821
I ain't no one's Gam-gam, sucka!
170
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,740
You just got time tricked!
171
00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:16,992
- No!
- No!
172
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:19,595
Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday.
173
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:21,730
Okay. I think I've got it.
174
00:09:27,605 --> 00:09:32,040
- Uhh. Are we back?
- Oh, no! Look!
175
00:09:32,076 --> 00:09:34,610
Mable, the laser place
is a mattress store.
176
00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,979
- We went too far in the past.
- Time travel.
177
00:09:37,014 --> 00:09:41,917
Man, why you gotta be
so complicated? Huh?!
178
00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:44,886
Looks like they overshot
their destination by 10 years.
179
00:09:44,922 --> 00:09:47,689
I don't see them.
You better find those kids!
180
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,591
You'll get your justice, Blendin.
181
00:09:49,627 --> 00:09:51,760
I'm gonna keep stammering
until you find them.
182
00:09:51,795 --> 00:09:55,030
I-I-I-I...
183
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,032
- I hate that guy.
- Let's move.
184
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,704
Yeah!
185
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:04,740
Okay, we just got to
go forward 10 years.
186
00:10:04,775 --> 00:10:07,709
We can be back before Soos
even realizes we were gone.
187
00:10:07,745 --> 00:10:10,912
Oh, no! The timey thing.
It's busted.
188
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:14,049
- Can you fix it?
- Maybe. I'll need some tools.
189
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:17,886
And I think I know where to get some.
190
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,808
Let's try to lay low. We don't
want to change the future.
191
00:10:22,843 --> 00:10:25,978
Or cause the future.
I forget how this works exactly.
192
00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:28,597
Wow, 10 years in the past.
193
00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:31,016
Everything is samey but also differenty.
194
00:10:31,468 --> 00:10:34,770
♪ Doppity-doppity-doo ♪
Yeah!
195
00:10:34,805 --> 00:10:38,907
Look out Broadway, here I come.
196
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:43,845
- This dream goes nowhere, Toby!
- Aww, marbles.
197
00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:46,948
Whoa. Oops. Sorry.
198
00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:49,618
My friend thinks you're cute.
199
00:10:49,653 --> 00:10:52,754
- Oh, my gosh. Tambry, shut up.
- Ow! Hey!
200
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:53,989
Thank you.
201
00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:57,693
I mean you're super
young, so this is weird.
202
00:10:57,728 --> 00:10:59,628
Now you know how she feels, creep.
203
00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:02,898
Yeah, I... Huh.
Wow.
204
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,833
Wow.
205
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:07,736
Schlep right up,
ladies and gentlemen,
206
00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:08,904
to see my latest attraction.
207
00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:12,741
- All right, the coast is clear.
- Now is our chance.
208
00:11:17,715 --> 00:11:19,748
Ha! Bingo!
209
00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:21,016
All right, let's see.
210
00:11:21,051 --> 00:11:24,820
Aw, come on, candy.
Fall. Fall.
211
00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:25,987
Allow me.
212
00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:28,023
You just need to know
a guy on the inside.
213
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,692
Bippity-boop-womp!
214
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:31,693
Jackpot!
215
00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:36,965
Thanks, dawg.
You must be some kind of genius.
216
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,034
All right, I think I've
got this thing working.
217
00:11:39,069 --> 00:11:41,603
Dipper, Dipper, look.
218
00:11:41,638 --> 00:11:42,938
No way.
219
00:11:44,808 --> 00:11:47,743
Mi precioso, you keep wandering off.
220
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:49,644
You don't want to be
late for your big day.
221
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,713
Sorry, abuelita.
222
00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:53,949
Big day?
This could be the birthday
223
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:55,951
where that personal biz went down.
224
00:11:55,986 --> 00:11:58,887
We could finally find out
why Soos hates his birthday.
225
00:11:58,922 --> 00:12:00,889
All right, but let's be quick.
226
00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:03,592
I want a piece of birthday cake!
227
00:12:05,696 --> 00:12:07,929
Who's a handsome birthday boy?
228
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,765
It's you!
229
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,000
Soos, you are such a ladies' man.
230
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,035
They're my cousins, grandma.
Gross.
231
00:12:14,071 --> 00:12:16,605
I got you a race car cake.
232
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,039
Man, I don't know why
Soos hates his birthdays.
233
00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:19,040
This looks great.
234
00:12:21,078 --> 00:12:22,978
Sorry, dude, but could you move seats?
235
00:12:23,013 --> 00:12:25,847
- That's the seat of honor.
- Uh, who's it for?
236
00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:28,784
Oh. Heh.
It's for my dad, actually.
237
00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:31,887
I haven't seen him in, like,
8 years, but he's coming today.
238
00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:33,922
That must be him!
239
00:12:41,648 --> 00:12:44,065
All right,
Soos, today's the big day.
240
00:12:44,101 --> 00:12:46,067
Be cool. Be cool.
241
00:12:48,839 --> 00:12:52,741
Postcard for... Soos.
242
00:12:58,015 --> 00:13:01,716
"See you next year for sure. Dad."
243
00:13:01,752 --> 00:13:04,886
Hey, don't sweat it, cuz.
You'll see him next year.
244
00:13:04,922 --> 00:13:08,623
Ha. Yeah, next year.
245
00:13:11,695 --> 00:13:14,830
I'm gonna go lay down.
You party without me, dudes.
246
00:13:14,865 --> 00:13:15,964
Wait, what about your presents?
247
00:13:15,999 --> 00:13:16,998
Yay-uh.
248
00:13:20,037 --> 00:13:22,871
So that's why Soos hates his birthday.
249
00:13:22,906 --> 00:13:25,740
It's the day he realized
his dad wasn't coming back.
250
00:13:25,776 --> 00:13:28,777
So how much partying can fix that?
251
00:13:28,812 --> 00:13:31,338
Dorks.
Young Robbie.
252
00:13:34,412 --> 00:13:36,512
Ay, Soos' father is a dead-beat.
253
00:13:41,585 --> 00:13:46,355
Soos, I made you cookies
shaped like dinosaurs.
254
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,490
I don't want cookies.
I want to see dad again.
255
00:13:48,526 --> 00:13:51,694
And he wants to see you.
He's just... busy.
256
00:13:51,729 --> 00:13:54,663
- Busy in New Orleans?
- Ay. Yes.
257
00:13:54,699 --> 00:13:57,700
Trust me, you will feel better one day.
258
00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:03,539
- Ohh, this is awful.
- We promised Soos a happy birthday,
259
00:14:03,574 --> 00:14:05,474
but how can we give him that now?
260
00:14:05,509 --> 00:14:07,543
This goes beyond anything
we know how to fix.
261
00:14:07,578 --> 00:14:09,611
- This way!
- Mabel, hide!
262
00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:16,318
They've got to be around here
somewhere. I think I heard them!
263
00:14:16,354 --> 00:14:18,620
Freeze!
264
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,491
Trace their chrono-signatures.
265
00:14:22,526 --> 00:14:25,627
Man, the sooner I defeat
those kids in Globnar,
266
00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:27,663
the sooner I can win my time wish.
267
00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:29,665
Tell you what I'd do
if I had a time wish.
268
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,368
Retire early, spend
more time with the kids.
269
00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:34,436
Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah
with the kids?!
270
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:36,739
Don't you know a time wish
can literally do anything?
271
00:14:36,774 --> 00:14:39,725
Any impossible problem
solved, just like that.
272
00:14:39,777 --> 00:14:41,577
I mean, imagine the possibilities.
273
00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:43,679
Wait, Mabel, that's it, the time wish.
274
00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:45,614
If we defeat Blendin
in that space battle...
275
00:14:45,649 --> 00:14:46,715
Then we can wish
276
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:49,385
that Soos' dad came
to his 12th birthday.
277
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,286
And Soos' birthdays
would be fixed forever...
278
00:14:51,322 --> 00:14:52,388
all of them!
279
00:14:52,423 --> 00:14:54,656
But do you really think
we can win Globnar?
280
00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:56,525
It's the only chance we have.
281
00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:01,429
Besides, it's for Soos.
He would do the same for us.
282
00:15:04,268 --> 00:15:06,335
Here we are, Blendin.
We surrender.
283
00:15:06,387 --> 00:15:07,703
- It's them!
- Freeze!
284
00:15:07,721 --> 00:15:09,338
Careful, they're from the past.
285
00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:11,507
They might have powder
muskets or slap bracelets.
286
00:15:11,509 --> 00:15:13,342
Look, guys, no tricks this time.
287
00:15:13,377 --> 00:15:14,643
We're ready to challenge you, okay?
288
00:15:14,678 --> 00:15:17,346
Yes! Let the Globnar begin.
289
00:15:17,398 --> 00:15:20,616
Prepare for Globnar!!!
290
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,486
Hey, turns out I can mute him.
291
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:28,323
- Man, I wish we'd known that earlier.
- Initializing.
292
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:39,535
Globnar!
Globnar! Globnar! Globnar!
293
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,346
Silence!
294
00:15:51,382 --> 00:15:52,548
Whoo! Oh, yeah!
295
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,585
That is one big baby.
296
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,520
Welcome, Globnar tributes.
297
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:02,224
I have a very important nap to get to,
so let's make this quick.
298
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:04,393
You each have a chance
to settle your time-feud
299
00:16:04,445 --> 00:16:06,595
through gladiatorial combat.
300
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,564
You will have
until time baby finishes
301
00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:11,433
drinking the cosmic
sand in this hourglass.
302
00:16:11,469 --> 00:16:12,568
No!
303
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,236
Come on. It's good for you.
304
00:16:15,372 --> 00:16:17,924
Get ready, kids.
When I get that time wish,
305
00:16:17,925 --> 00:16:19,241
you'll wish you were never born.
306
00:16:19,276 --> 00:16:20,709
Or rather, you'll wish you were born,
307
00:16:20,744 --> 00:16:22,628
because I'm gonna wish
you were never born!
308
00:16:22,663 --> 00:16:26,448
- Dream on! There's two of us.
- And we have hair!
309
00:16:26,484 --> 00:16:29,551
Oh... oh, yeah?
Well, I have training!
310
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:33,589
What do you think I did
in prison all that time?
311
00:16:33,624 --> 00:16:34,590
Uh-oh.
312
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:37,476
Let the Globnar begin!
313
00:17:01,485 --> 00:17:02,551
Yeah!
314
00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:16,632
Globnar!
315
00:17:19,303 --> 00:17:22,571
Very good.
You have escaped the Cyclocks.
316
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:25,374
Yes!
Blendin for the almost-win!
317
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:30,229
There is only one final
challenge for Globnar.
318
00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:33,315
An ancient game, thousands of years old,
319
00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:36,518
chosen for its exemplification
of pure strategy.
320
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:40,322
The ancient art of Laser Tag!
321
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:46,295
The one who touches the
victory orb first will win.
322
00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:48,730
Laser Tag? Seriously?
323
00:17:48,766 --> 00:17:51,400
Oh, I know it doesn't
seem that challenging now,
324
00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:53,669
but just wait until they
turn on that fog machine.
325
00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:55,337
You'll be done for.
326
00:17:55,339 --> 00:17:57,406
- You just wait until you...
- Hit.
327
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,391
Hit, hit, hit, hit.
328
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,610
- Oh, man.
- Mabel, grab the orb!
329
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,245
Got it.
330
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,267
It is finished!
331
00:18:14,358 --> 00:18:15,557
No!
332
00:18:15,593 --> 00:18:17,559
- No! No!
- Yes! Yes!
333
00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:20,495
You have made victory in Globnar.
334
00:18:20,531 --> 00:18:22,447
Before I give you your time wish,
335
00:18:22,499 --> 00:18:26,368
tell us what fate do
you decide for the loser?
336
00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:30,238
- Oh, jeez.
- Death!
337
00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:32,674
- Mabel.
- Sorry. Got carried away.
338
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:36,461
So Blendin did try to
wish us out of existence,
339
00:18:36,513 --> 00:18:39,247
but it was kind of our
fault for ruining his life.
340
00:18:39,283 --> 00:18:42,484
Yeah, and he's kind of too
sad to be a real bad guy.
341
00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:44,486
Maybe if we treat him
right in the present,
342
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:46,388
he'll turn out better in the future.
343
00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:48,490
Okay, as long as you keep an eye on him,
344
00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:51,526
we'd like to set Blendin
free and restore his position
345
00:18:51,562 --> 00:18:53,428
at the time anomaly correction unit.
346
00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:57,265
- And give him pretty hair.
- So be it.
347
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:01,303
What? You'd do that for me?
348
00:19:01,338 --> 00:19:04,506
I got my job back!
I feel like hugging somebody.
349
00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:07,309
- I can kill you in eight different ways.
- Yes, sir.
350
00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:12,331
Now, children, what is it that
you want for your time wish?
351
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,617
Thank you, but the wish isn't for us.
352
00:19:15,653 --> 00:19:18,687
Not you?
But then who?
353
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:22,357
Who is worthy to receive such power?
354
00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,360
Dipper? Mabel?
355
00:19:25,396 --> 00:19:27,663
Ah, who am I kidding?
I'm not up for this.
356
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,599
Heads, I stay.
357
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:33,368
Tails, I go make myself
some dinosaur shaped cookies.
358
00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:43,245
Huh. That's unconventional.
359
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,616
- Soos!
- Guys!
360
00:19:47,651 --> 00:19:50,252
We're so sorry we
left you hanging, dude.
361
00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:52,354
We got caught up in
this time travel junk.
362
00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:53,655
And there was a time cyclops.
363
00:19:53,691 --> 00:19:54,656
And don't forget about the
364
00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:56,291
- time race.
- Time race.
365
00:19:56,326 --> 00:19:57,659
But the point is, Soos,
366
00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,262
we think we know how
to fix your birthday.
367
00:20:00,297 --> 00:20:01,496
Whoa. Really?
368
00:20:01,532 --> 00:20:04,566
Wait, you guys did all of that for me?
369
00:20:04,601 --> 00:20:08,553
And that's not all.
Behold your time wish,
370
00:20:08,605 --> 00:20:12,741
the power to alter time,
paradox-free, in any way you choose.
371
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:15,094
We think the only thing
that can make you happy
372
00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:17,412
- is meeting your dad.
- But the choice is yours.
373
00:20:17,448 --> 00:20:20,282
You mean, I can finally see
my dad by touching this thing?
374
00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,317
And you guys battled
through time and space
375
00:20:22,319 --> 00:20:23,485
just to get this for me?
376
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,656
What are you waiting for, Soos?
377
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,359
All right. Here goes nothing.
378
00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:37,382
- Wait, what?
- What the...
379
00:20:37,418 --> 00:20:39,634
Bam! Fixed you up.
Enjoy, dudes.
380
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,670
But, Soos,
what about meeting your dad?
381
00:20:41,705 --> 00:20:43,772
Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent
382
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:45,574
with the people who care about you.
383
00:20:45,609 --> 00:20:46,775
But you know what?
384
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,344
That dude didn't care about
me enough to visit me once,
385
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:51,747
let alone fight monsters through
time and space like you dudes.
386
00:20:51,782 --> 00:20:54,683
I mean, you had a gladiator
fight just to make me happy.
387
00:20:54,718 --> 00:20:56,685
I've been being
ridiculous this whole time.
388
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,720
Whoever my dad was,
he could take a hike.
389
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:02,357
I know who my family is
now, and it's you dudes.
390
00:21:02,392 --> 00:21:04,559
Thanks for giving me
the best birthday ever.
391
00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:06,461
Are you kidding me?!
392
00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:08,563
Do you have any idea
what you've just wasted?
393
00:21:08,582 --> 00:21:11,266
Do you know how many have
died to get a time wish?
394
00:21:11,301 --> 00:21:12,734
The wars that were started?
395
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,302
Oh, that's not all, dudes.
396
00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:15,670
I also wished for the
slice of infinite pizza.
397
00:21:15,706 --> 00:21:16,705
Watch.
398
00:21:19,343 --> 00:21:20,709
And it can do that for, like, infinity.
399
00:21:22,446 --> 00:21:23,712
Phew! That's a good time wish.
400
00:21:23,747 --> 00:21:26,281
There's still 10 minutes
before Laser Tag closes.
401
00:21:26,316 --> 00:21:28,350
- You dudes want to play?
- Yeah.
402
00:21:29,553 --> 00:21:31,653
Happy birthday, Soos.
403
00:21:31,688 --> 00:21:33,755
Whoa.
Thought I heard an explosion.
404
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:35,290
Whoa, what's this?
405
00:21:36,181 --> 00:21:38,199
Mystery Shack?
406
00:21:38,444 --> 00:21:41,279
That is it!
You are single-handedly
407
00:21:41,281 --> 00:21:43,614
the worst handyman
I've ever seen.
408
00:21:43,665 --> 00:21:45,499
Uh, hey, excuse me, sir.
409
00:21:45,534 --> 00:21:48,419
Hey you, gumdrop, think
you can fix a golf cart?
410
00:21:48,453 --> 00:21:51,289
- Well, I don't know if I...
- Boom, you're hired.
411
00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,757
One size fits all.
412
00:21:52,791 --> 00:21:54,675
Step right up to the
Mystery Shack, folks.
413
00:21:54,710 --> 00:21:56,276
Step right up.