3 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,773 Oh. 4 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,735 Oh, good morning. Hi. Hi. Hi. 5 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,446 I'm Chef Goldblum. 6 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,115 And right now 7 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,700 I'll bet you're probably just getting comfortable 8 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,582 in your own Schlaaang Super Seat. 9 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,210 But maybe you're asking yourself, 10 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,839 "What the heck is this Schlaaang Super Seat exactly?" 11 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,961 Here's how the Schlaaang Super Seat works! 12 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,004 First, several needles 13 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,173 are connected to a vein in your arm. 14 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,344 Chemicals are then introduced to synchronize your emotions 15 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,433 with the movie. 16 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,973 Next, air tubes are inserted into the nasal cavity 17 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,018 to guide you into a natural breathing pattern. 18 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,027 Exotic odors are released 19 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,109 to match the excitement of the movie. 20 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:06,572 Finally, your legs are moved out of your line of sight 21 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,862 and into our patented Schlaaang stirrups, 22 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:13,532 to give you a viewing experience you'll never forget. 23 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,747 Oh! Oh! Oh! I gotta tell you. 24 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,708 My favorite thing about this whole Schlaaang Super Seat 25 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:23,216 is the automatic popcorn machine in the armrest. 26 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,424 Of course, be careful. I... you know, I actually did this. 27 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,715 That hot butter is gonna come spurting out. 28 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,679 Don't get it on your hand. It's gonna burn. 29 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,059 And remember, 30 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,347 if you're not sitting in a Schlaaang Super Seat... 31 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,520 you're just not sitting down. 32 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,103 The Schlaaang Super Seat. 33 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,398 The ultimate film-watching seating experience! 34 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,787 Close your left eye. 35 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,674 Now rapidly open and close your left eye like this. 36 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,596 Wow! This is easy. 37 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,883 Now close your right eye. 38 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,972 Now rapidly open and close your right eye like this. 39 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,274 Thank you. 40 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,936 It is advised to remove your dentures or false teeth 41 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,945 before the movie begins. 42 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,446 I've been walking down these streets for years. 43 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,072 Bonjour, Diamond Jim. 44 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,733 Bonjour. 45 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,407 Diamond Jim, good to see you. 46 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,038 Bonjour. 47 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,743 They all know my name. 48 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,000 But I can't say that I know theirs. 49 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,878 Bonjour. 50 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,757 What can I say? Sweet Paris. 51 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,252 Bonjour. 52 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,218 The smell of baguettes, flowers, 53 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,304 fresh meat in the air. 54 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:19,844 Bonjour. 55 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:26,309 Bonjour. 56 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,694 This is a town full of beautiful people 57 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,195 all around you. 58 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,605 Bonjour. 59 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,524 Oui, oui. Magnifique. 60 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:40,080 I'm Diamond Jim. This is my home. 61 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,785 My People. 62 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,792 But there's only one that has my attention. 63 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,063 What can I get you, Diamond Jim? 64 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,941 What do I have to do to get you to finally go out with me? 65 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,942 Well... 66 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,736 a girl cannot say no to diamonds. 67 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,777 Well, why didn't you say so? 68 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,453 Oh, my God, it is so beautiful. 69 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,293 Now kiss me. 70 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,630 What the fuck was that? 71 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,722 - That's it. - That's our movie. 72 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,389 - Should we? - Let's go make a speech. 73 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,771 Okay. 74 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,402 - One more second. 75 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,692 This is the story of Tim and Eric. 76 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,201 They were given $1 billion 77 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,611 to make their first feature film 78 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,529 Tommy Schlaaang. 79 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:48,075 I paid a billion dollars for that piece of shit? 80 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,585 But Tim and Eric did not spend their money wisely. 81 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,291 Despite the record-setting budget, 82 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,751 they were only able to edit together 83 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,042 three minutes of useable footage. 84 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,709 They had expensive personal make-overs. 85 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,878 These two guys don't get into premiere parties. 86 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,889 These guys get in the front of the line at premiere parties. 87 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,096 And they accidentally cast a Johnny Depp impersonator 88 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,760 instead of the genuine Johnny Depp. 89 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,895 - You said it was Johnny Depp. - It smelled like Johnny Depp. 90 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,897 Everyone said this is Johnny Depp on the set. It was a big day. 91 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,151 No, it wasn't Johnny Depp. I know my Johnny Depp. 92 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:17,062 Other expenses included helicopter rides to work, 93 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,901 10-course lunches, 94 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,907 and real diamonds for the Diamond Jim suit. 95 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,410 The diamonds are forever, though, and we can't return them, so... 96 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,528 Those diamonds aren't going back. 97 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,242 They hired a personal shopper 98 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,908 and spiritual guru named Jim Joe Kelly, 99 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,749 who they paid an astonishing $500,000 a week. 100 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,504 I'm not even walking on a set without Jim Joe. 101 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,290 If you think I'm gonna get involved in something 102 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,129 without him being a part of this, then you're out of your mind. 103 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,293 They also employed a team of personal assistants, 104 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,554 including this small man named Jason. 105 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,259 Not now. 106 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:47,050 Tim and I are making a speech about our movie, and you fucking blew it. 107 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,687 Come on, Jason, we need the hot corn before the movie, not after the movie. 108 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,354 - You mind if I do it? - Go ahead. 109 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,768 Come on! 110 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,982 Now sit down. Sorry about that, gang. 111 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,272 But perhaps most foolishly of all, 112 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,315 they signed a legally binding contract 113 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,109 with the Schlaaang Corporation which held them 114 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,369 personally responsible for the $1 billion. 115 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,826 I want my money back! 116 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,334 We're going to sue you for every dime. 117 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,245 You motherfuckers are going to jail 118 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,585 for what you did! 119 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,294 After several threatening letters 120 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,004 from the Schlaaang Corporation, 121 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,044 Tim and Eric realized they needed a plan 122 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,758 to pay back Schlaaang's billion dollars. 123 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,094 - Shred it. - Okay. 124 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,101 We've really got to think of a way to get that money back. 125 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,228 There's got to be an easy way to do it here. 126 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,980 Are you guys hungry? 127 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,359 We could get some beef chili and hot dog buns 128 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,111 like you like to put your mouth around like you like to do. 129 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,773 Ma! When we're hungry, I'll ring the bell. 130 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,987 Then you'll know to put some chili on. 131 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:48,324 After days of workshopping failed ideas, 132 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,488 Tim and Eric faced the very real threat 133 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,657 of spending the rest of their lives in jail. 134 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,997 But first they had to terminate their relationship 135 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,379 with their trusted friend and spiritual guru, 136 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,789 Jim Joe Kelly. 137 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,207 You're not going to believe what I bought for you. 138 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,000 We've got to tell him. 139 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,169 Oh, mercy. 140 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,767 I'm sensing some... real depression here. 141 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,181 What's going on? 142 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,020 Tell him. 143 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,560 Jim Joe, we have to let you go. 144 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,354 Wha... 145 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,069 - I'm sorry. - What? What? 146 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,233 - It's all over, Jim Joe. - What? 147 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,028 - It's okay. - What? 148 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,994 - It's okay, Jim Joe. - Breathe. 149 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,499 I can't... 150 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,909 - Breathe. - Oh! 151 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,704 - Jim Joe? - Oh, God. 152 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,372 Ohh! 153 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,841 No! No! 154 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,674 Pull him up. 155 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,847 One, two, three! 156 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,981 That's not how you do CPR. You go like this. 157 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,162 See? Do it. Shit. He's drying out. 158 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,665 - He's drying out! Put him back in! - Change our plan! 159 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,958 I can't breathe! I can't breathe! 160 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,424 No. No, no, no, no. 161 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,936 Just steep it. 162 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,976 Why can't I just work at a reduced rate? 163 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,522 The money's gone. We lost a billion dollars. We're screwed. 164 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:49,988 - Easy, Jim Joe. 165 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,618 Easy. 166 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,620 After all that I've done for you! 167 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,456 Oh, Jim Joe. 168 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,537 This is so much harder for us than it is for you. 169 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,205 All right. We're sorry. We're just broke. 170 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,014 Great singing voice. 171 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,524 He's wonderful. 172 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,560 He's remarkable. 173 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,193 I guess this is goodbye. 174 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,111 Time to move on. 175 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,199 Please out. 176 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,335 Is it "please out' or "peace out"? 177 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,666 - It's up to you. - Enjoy it. 178 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,627 Please out. 179 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,012 So, with nowhere left to go, 180 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,801 Tim and Eric headed to their favorite nightclub, 181 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,766 Circus Disco, to drown their sorrows. 182 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,690 I don't know what we're going to do, man. 183 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,399 I think we're finished. 184 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,690 We screwed up. No one's ever gonna let us 185 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,608 direct another movie after that shit. 186 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,779 You know, I used to have this crazy fantasy of the two of us 187 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,743 walking hand in hand down that red carpet 188 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,407 on our way to the Academy Awards. 189 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,075 That's nice. 190 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,461 I don't think it's gonna happen. 191 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,542 I just want to get fucking drunk. 192 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,877 Forget about all this billion-dollar bullshit. 193 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,883 I'm glad you said it because I'm feeling the same way. 194 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,010 I want to get so fucking high. 195 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,342 - I want a hashish. - I'm gonna get skit on my nose. 196 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,722 Yo, I want to go dumb. 197 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,224 I want to cut my fucking arm off. 198 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,385 I'd love to fucking get blackout-drunk with you, 199 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,598 get a bunch of dudes, 200 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,183 put a bunch of shit up our holes. 201 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,848 Yeah, let's go fucking nuts. 202 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,516 Let's dance! 203 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,246 Aah! 204 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,293 - Aah! 205 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,385 Aah! 206 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,665 Cw! 207 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,789 Oh, wow. 208 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,503 Ohh... 209 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,720 Yeah. 210 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,732 - You all right? - Yeah. 211 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,946 Do you want to make a billion dollars? 212 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,328 It's easy. Come and run my mall. You'll be rich. 213 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,909 Hey, Eric, come check this out. 214 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,791 You all love malls, so take my mall. 215 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,326 What's the matter? 216 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,040 You don't want to make a billion dollars? 217 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,376 Anyone can run a stupid fucking mall, 218 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,040 even you. 219 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,051 Are you a man, or possibly two men, 220 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,883 who need to make a billion dollars? 221 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,797 Come and run my mall. We're having hard times. 222 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,058 We need your ideas. Everybody needs a billion. 223 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,970 Come and take over the S'wallow Valley Mall and pizza court. 224 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,638 It's easy. Not hard. 225 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,182 I said it's easy, not hard. 226 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,818 There's never been an easier way to make a billion dollars. 227 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,775 It's easy. And here's it's easy. 228 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,236 What's the matter? You don't want to make a billion dollars? 229 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,197 My day wasn't going good until I put on these... 230 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,282 Billion dollars. 231 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,616 Man, I love this... 232 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:05,780 Billion dollars. 233 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:11,378 I'm giving away a billion... billion dollars! 234 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,789 But you gotta run my mall. 235 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,378 Please save our mall. We need your help. 236 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,838 Ah. 237 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,095 I work at one of the kiosks, and it would mean the world 238 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,383 - if someone would come in here... - She's so beautiful. 239 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,348 ...and help us make this mall great again. 240 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,228 Come to the S'wallow Valley Mall, 241 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,185 right off the 182 freeway in S'wallow Valley. 242 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,896 Sounds crazy, Eric, I know, but I think we can do this. 243 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,059 Yo, I like it. 244 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,149 - This mall could be easy money, man. - That's right. 245 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,689 You know what? And I'm really good at numbers, accounting, all that stuff. 246 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:42,826 Well, you know me. I'm a big P.R., strategy, marketing kind of guy. 247 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,237 But you know, more importantly, man, 248 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,952 I just want to say this could be a fresh start for us. 249 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,082 We could forget all about this Hollywood bullshit 250 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,663 and really reinvent ourselves. 251 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,828 Yeah. You know, I've been meaning to tell you this all night, 252 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,043 but I love you, man. And I love our friendship. 253 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,752 Well, thank you. I honor you, 254 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,758 and I honor our friendship, and I honor our love. 255 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,761 It would mean a lotto me if we could run this mall 256 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,672 and I could make love to this hot woman 257 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,512 and we could start a business partnership together. 258 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,096 I love it, but I've got a big problem. 259 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,511 I hate to do this to you here. 260 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,554 I need to have an emergency business meeting right now. 261 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,974 Because guess what? We don't have a name for our company yet. 262 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,609 - Shit. 263 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:17,768 All right. What are we good at? 264 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,278 Well, we're men who do business. 265 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,438 We want to be business members. 266 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,107 We're boys who do business. 267 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,616 - Yeah. - But... 268 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,282 Eric. Look. 269 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,707 It's a sign. 270 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,709 "Doing business." 271 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:36,838 "Dobis." 272 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,374 I love it. It's got a ring to it, doesn't it? 273 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,712 - Yeah. - Dobis. 274 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,594 "That's who we are." We're Dobis P.R. 275 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,175 Dobis. 276 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,433 - Look at that. - Look at all the elements of business. 277 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,435 - Look it. They're all there, Eric. - Market research. 278 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,440 - There's strategic P.R. - Profit and loss. 279 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,818 I'll have the report to you by Monday. 280 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,819 I'll look forward to it. 281 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,275 Guys, 282 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,156 I told you, you should never have fired me. 283 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,988 Jim Joe, what do you want? 284 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,324 I've got some poetry about regret I'd like to share with you. 285 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,488 Come on, Jim Joe. 286 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:13,579 Friendship is warm, friendship is touch. 287 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,368 Jim Joe, please stop. 288 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,879 We have to do this for ourselves. We're sorry. 289 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,415 - We've got to leave you behind. - I'm sick, and I'm lost, 290 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:21,833 and I'm tired of floating around. 291 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,502 We love you, Jim Joe. We wish you the best. 292 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,296 Let's go. 293 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,894 Hi, this is Tim and Eric. 294 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,304 Sorry we're not here right now. 295 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,938 We've left town to become business members. 296 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,189 We are now Dobis. 297 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,600 Please leave a message for Dobis. 298 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,313 - Be blessed. 299 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,069 Shit. 300 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,902 Son of a bitch. 301 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,821 They just skipped town on us, Tommy. 302 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,741 - You find them. - Mmmmm. 303 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,877 Find them if it's the last thing you do. 304 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,084 I want to drink their blood. 305 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,999 - I want to take a knife and gut them! - Yes. 306 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:48,045 Oh, God, let me watch their insides fall out. 307 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:51,305 Yes. Yes. Yes. What else, Tommy? 308 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,683 - I want to strap them up... - Yes. 309 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,094 And let a bamboo tree grow right up into their ass, huh? 310 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,477 Yes. 311 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,355 Until the tree grows straight through their brains! 312 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,517 Yes. And I will deliver them unto you. 313 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,777 I want to eat their fucking hearts! 314 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,107 Yeah! 315 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,864 Yes. Yes. Yes. 316 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,618 Okay. Tell me what you think. 317 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,283 Uh, "Dear Mr. Weebs, 318 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:22,124 We are very, very, very, very excited to meet you. 319 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,288 We are Dobis." 320 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,924 That's all I've got so far. What do you think? 321 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,302 Oh, I'm sorry, dude. I wasn't listening to you. 322 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,883 I'm just so focused on this ridiculous look. 323 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,764 It's not working any more. 324 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,641 Let me take a look. 325 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,471 It's just not right. 326 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,981 You know what, Eric, if we're going to be businessmen, 327 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,859 I think maybe we should look like businessmen, too. 328 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,816 - I agree. - Hold on a second. 329 00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,623 Now hold still. 330 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,046 Goodbye. 331 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,012 Qh! 332 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,986 Good night, Katie. I miss you, my sweets. 333 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,624 Boy, you're really getting attached to that photo, bud. 334 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:07,581 Tim, it's not just a picture, man. 335 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,245 That could be the girl of my dreams. 336 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,879 All right. Let's just try to stay focused 337 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,290 on what's important here. 338 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,800 Ever since I saw you in that commercial, Katie, 339 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,802 I felt this electricity in my heart. 340 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:19,305 I can't wait to meet you and make love to you 341 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,465 and go deep inside you and show you my mushroom tip. 342 00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,431 All right, well, I'm hitting the sack. 343 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,697 Oh. 344 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,321 What the hell? 345 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,956 Okay. 346 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:49,585 - Katie. - Okay. 347 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:50,995 All right. 348 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,752 You want to finish that in the bathroom? 349 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,637 Almost done. Almost done. 350 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,071 Okay. Well, I'm gonna say good night, then. 351 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,659 We've come a long way, Tim. 352 00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,490 We could turn around right now if you want. 353 00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,200 No. 354 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,081 I'm ready. 355 00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:11,913 All right. Let's go. 356 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:29,510 Hello? 357 00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:33,597 Mr. Weebs? 358 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:54,997 Mr. Weebs? 359 00:24:57,621 --> 00:25:00,545 Mr. Weebs? Hello? 360 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:02,797 - What? What the... - Mr. Weebs? 361 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,303 Go to heck! 362 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,088 - Whoa! - Who is that, Taquito? 363 00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:07,677 No, sir. It's Dobis. 364 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,592 - It's Tim and Eric. - Tim and Eric. 365 00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:12,140 Oh. 366 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:14,145 - Oh. Come in. - Thank you. 367 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:15,726 Yeah. Come in. 368 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:18,893 - Tim and Eric. Hello. - Hi. Sorry to spook you. 369 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,812 - Good to meet you. - Hi. Come in. 370 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,323 Hi. Hi. 371 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,075 I did not expect you guys. 372 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:30,704 I don't usually have visitors at this time of the day. 373 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,160 So thank you. 374 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:33,995 Please, sit down. Have a s... 375 00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:36,581 God! Come on! 376 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:39,748 God damn it! There's an order here. 377 00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:41,335 Sorry. 378 00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:44,172 Oh! All this was organized. 379 00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:46,553 Now, I don't know. 380 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:50,888 Because a couple of dicks walked in and wrecked it. 381 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,677 - Can I help you? - No! 382 00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:55,096 Have you ever visited an office before? 383 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:58,732 - You want us to come back another time? - No. 384 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,402 I almost had a heart attack. 385 00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:06,031 Can we have a fresh start? 386 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,610 - That'd be great. - Hi, I'm Eric Wareheim. 387 00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:13,031 And I'm Tim Heidecker. And we are from Dobis P.R. 388 00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:14,915 We saw your commercial, 389 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:17,076 and we're here to run the mall 390 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,494 and make that billion. 391 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:20,333 Do you want to watch "Top Gun"? 392 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,836 - Right now? - I love that movie. 393 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,627 - You have a copy? - I have it here somewhere. 394 00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:29,263 There it is. It was right here... 395 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:30,798 - Right on top. - ...the whole time. 396 00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,136 Okay. "Top Gun." 397 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:34,051 - Just put it in here? - Just put it right in there. 398 00:26:34,218 --> 00:26:36,312 Great. 399 00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:38,313 Does it start from the top? 400 00:26:38,472 --> 00:26:40,395 Mm-hmm. 401 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:41,809 "Top Gun" from the top. 402 00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:45,813 - Sit back and enjoy the ride. 403 00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:48,732 - Tom Cruise, I guess. - Mmmmm. 404 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:56,202 - Ah. - Great. 405 00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:58,538 - I like that movie. - It's a good movie. 406 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:00,418 - Terrific. - Wonderful. Artistic. 407 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:03,126 Do you want to watch it again? 408 00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:06,250 We just saw one pass of it, so... 409 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,544 We'd love to focus in on the business. 410 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,929 It literally means the world to me. 411 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,844 Come on. 412 00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:15,429 I guess we can watch it one more time. 413 00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,889 Yeah. 414 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,804 - Rewind here? - Rewind. 415 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,769 So while we're rewinding, 416 00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,104 let's talk business about the mall. 417 00:27:23,267 --> 00:27:24,519 And hit play. 418 00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:27,234 - Okay. Play again? - Round two. 419 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:30,240 - Play again. - "Top Gun" from the top again. 420 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:33,619 - Sit back and enjoy the ride. 421 00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,456 I love that movie. It's a great film. 422 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,416 Great flying. 423 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,798 Yeah. 424 00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,583 I love that music. 425 00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,296 Yeah. 426 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:52,759 Yeah, the music is great. 427 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,600 Not just the songs, either, the score is good. 428 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,806 - The motorcycles and stuff. - Uh-huh. 429 00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:02,473 Is that Val Kilmer? Is that Val Kilmer? 430 00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:05,108 Jesus. 431 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:10,322 Fuck. 432 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:19,160 All right. 433 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:20,540 Taquito! 434 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,326 Get up here right now! 435 00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:24,210 I've got some business for you! 436 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,792 I'll need to introduce you to Taquito. 437 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,798 He lives here in the mall. 438 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:31,422 He's a sick boy. 439 00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,929 Hmm, sorry to hear that. 440 00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:35,430 Come here. 441 00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:41,520 He's your problem now. 442 00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:44,314 Okay. 443 00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:49,402 Also, you're going to have to look out for the wolf. 444 00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:52,648 Is that a metaphorical wolf? 445 00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:55,784 - Huh? - Like an animal wolf? 446 00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:57,616 - Yeah. - You're talking about a wolf? 447 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:00,281 Oh, yeah. He's a real wolf. 448 00:29:00,447 --> 00:29:02,040 He'll bite you. 449 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,461 Noted. Okay. 450 00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:08,213 Well, if I could just move on? 451 00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,966 One more thing. I hate to do this to you, but in the commercial, 452 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:12,876 you said we were gonna make a billion dollars. 453 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:15,387 Oh. The money's coming. 454 00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:17,547 Did you wink there? 455 00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,842 - Hmm? - You just winked. 456 00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:22,306 Look. Don't worry about the money. 457 00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:25,018 You're gonna make a billion running this place. 458 00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:27,399 Making the money. 459 00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:28,900 Yeah, it happened again. 460 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:30,106 I'm sorry. We're still seeing it. 461 00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:31,771 Really? 462 00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:34,065 I find that hard to believe. 463 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,575 I saw a wink. That was a wink. 464 00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,485 I don't think I winked. 465 00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:41,326 Yeah. Well, we both saw it. You winked. 466 00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:43,286 I don't know if it's some kind of reflexive thing. 467 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:44,449 No. 468 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,209 Would you just mind saying "Tim and Eric, 469 00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:48,791 you'll make the billion dollars, run the mall," and there's no wink? 470 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:51,958 I hate doing this, but could you just... you know, even with your hands... 471 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,922 - I'm happy to. - ...just keep them open. 472 00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:56,086 Then just say "Tim and Eric will make a billion dollars." 473 00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:58,506 No wink. 474 00:29:58,672 --> 00:30:00,720 Just say the line and keep the eyes wide open. 475 00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,930 You're gonna do just fine running this place. 476 00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:05,141 You're gonna make a billion. 477 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,398 Even with them spread, I... we see the wink. 478 00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:09,900 I don't even know how it's possible, but you're... 479 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:12,402 - you're winking through it. - Hmm. 480 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,655 I think we should just trust him on this. 481 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,565 - I don't know, man. - We don't have any other options. 482 00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:18,575 Wink or no wink, we have to go with this. We're here. 483 00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:21,738 Okay. All right, well, Mr. Weebs, 484 00:30:21,903 --> 00:30:23,701 we'd love to accept the offer. 485 00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:26,458 - Oh, that's wonderful news. - We'll run your mall. 486 00:30:26,616 --> 00:30:28,584 - Great news. 487 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:30,087 Yes, Uncle Damian? What is it? 488 00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:31,462 Taquito! 489 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:36,502 These are Tim and Eric. 490 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,716 Oh, how nice. 491 00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:41,257 They will be running the mall from now on. 492 00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:44,393 - You take orders from them. - Yes, Uncle Damian. 493 00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:46,349 Want to see where I live? 494 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,809 Want to know where to get food? 495 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,440 Taquito! 496 00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:53,318 You do the song like we practiced. 497 00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:56,572 Yes, Uncle Damian. 498 00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:21,388 Sorry, I'm real sick. 499 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:24,220 - You okay? - I'll be all right. 500 00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,181 It's just the shivers. 501 00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:30,606 My body's hot, but I feel cold. 502 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:35,023 - Mr. Weebs? 503 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:43,031 Tonight's movie features several important lessons. 504 00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:46,242 The following segments are meant to reinforce these themes. 505 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,463 You wanted to see me? 506 00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,715 Yes. You're fired. 507 00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:59,752 Oh, no! 508 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,761 Why? Why? 509 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,048 That's it. Let it all out. 510 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,842 Oh, no. 511 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,932 This is the best business scenario for us. 512 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,392 It had to be done. 513 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,728 Yes, you are right. 514 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:15,437 I understand that now. 515 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,479 Thank you. Good-bye. 516 00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:19,942 Psst. Wait. 517 00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:21,652 Come back. 518 00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:23,863 This is your severance package. 519 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:49,852 Sweet old Mrs. Wareheim. Mrs. Heidecker. 520 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,603 Yes. 521 00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:54,105 You must be so proud of your boys. 522 00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:56,392 Making a big Hollywood movie. 523 00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:58,435 Aren't you? 524 00:32:58,602 --> 00:33:01,481 The sets, the movie stars. 525 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,946 Geez Louise, it's something, isn't it? 526 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:08,620 Well, you see, the problem is 527 00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:12,408 that they screwed up big-time. 528 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,451 They screwed up, mommies. 529 00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:16,370 Oh, no. 530 00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:21,000 Are you scared? 531 00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:23,715 - Hmm? - Scared? 532 00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:25,220 Where's your son? 533 00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:27,130 I don't know. 534 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:28,674 Where are your sons? 535 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,387 I wish I could help you, but I can't. Sorry. 536 00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:34,271 Where are your sons? Where are your sons? 537 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:35,646 Where is he? 538 00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:39,438 Earle. Let me try. 539 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,988 You've got Zaffer's Music over there on the right. 540 00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:50,996 Ahem. And that's Dan's Tiny Baby Outlet. 541 00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,828 He's only open two days a week. 542 00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:57,039 And this here is Drimble's Yogurt. 543 00:33:57,202 --> 00:33:59,421 Some folks say it's haunted 544 00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,707 by the yogurt man. 545 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,750 I don't know. 546 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:06,511 I wouldn't change too much around here. 547 00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:09,219 The yogurt man might get real upset. 548 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,475 That's a bobo. 549 00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:14,182 How are you? 550 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:15,937 Hi. 551 00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:18,190 And this is Simon's. 552 00:34:18,348 --> 00:34:20,817 They sell things for mommies and daddies. 553 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,946 Oh, hey, Eric, check it out. Swords. 554 00:34:24,104 --> 00:34:26,106 Cool, I love swords. 555 00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:30,698 Mr. Bishopman? 556 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:33,033 I have a couple of fellas who wanted to meet you. 557 00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,823 What's this? What do you want? We're closing. 558 00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:36,583 I'm Tim Heidecker. 559 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,994 I'm Eric Wareheim, and we're from Dobis P.R., 560 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,412 and we're here to take over your mall. 561 00:34:40,579 --> 00:34:41,922 That's right, Mr. Bishopman. 562 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,673 We are here to reimagine what this mall can be, 563 00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:46,301 and, in fact, we got some pretty big and exciting changes in mind. 564 00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:47,585 Mm-hmm. 565 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:48,969 So just hand over your cost report, 566 00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:51,302 and we'll get started on some business plans for you. 567 00:34:51,464 --> 00:34:53,432 You listen to me. 568 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:56,311 I'm Allen fucking Bishopman, 569 00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:58,563 and I've run E Z Swords for 15 years. 570 00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:00,599 And you want me to change? 571 00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:02,108 Fuck you! 572 00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,110 Sir, Dobis is here to help, okay? 573 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,942 I like things this way. 574 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,697 I don't want things to change! 575 00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:08,982 Okay. 576 00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:11,026 I sell two swords a year, I'm good. 577 00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:13,911 I sell no swords a year, and I'm even better. 578 00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,869 You see, S'wallow Valley wants to keep swords off the streets, 579 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:20,582 and they pay me a monthly fee to not sell any swords! 580 00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:21,791 Okay. I didn't know that. 581 00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:25,207 - Well, now you do, you shit! 582 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,920 Okay. Well, we didn't know that. So... 583 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:30,212 Well, now you do, you shit! 584 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,005 Well, we weren't aware. I'm sorry. 585 00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:36,268 Well, now you do, you piece of shit. 586 00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:39,396 I got a lot of stuff going around in my head. 587 00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:40,976 I've got to sort it out, 588 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,641 and it will help to not have you 589 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:45,026 right in my fucking face the whole time! 590 00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:47,313 Well, we look forward to doing business with you, sir. 591 00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:50,653 Yes. All the best. 592 00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:54,866 Good night. 593 00:35:58,073 --> 00:36:00,701 Anyways, there's a lot of other fun stuff 594 00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:03,165 I'll show you tomorrow. 595 00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:05,956 Well, here we are. Here's my humble abode 596 00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:09,092 and your temporary home away from home. 597 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,470 Okay. Careful. 598 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:17,426 This is my secret tunnel. 599 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,896 Well, here's the living room. 600 00:36:26,059 --> 00:36:28,437 Shut the fuck up, you little cunt! 601 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:30,150 That's Roy. 602 00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:33,283 - Don't look him in the eye. 603 00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:35,068 Hello. 604 00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:39,118 - Get the fuck out of here! - Ah! 605 00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:44,336 Here we are. 606 00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:47,043 This is my little palace. 607 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,173 This is where I sleep. 608 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,134 If you have to do your business. 609 00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:59,179 There's no curtain. You just close your eyes. 610 00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:01,015 If you have to do any work 611 00:37:01,177 --> 00:37:03,305 or any kind of calculations, 612 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:05,769 you can... 613 00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:08,936 you can use this machine I built. 614 00:37:09,102 --> 00:37:11,025 It's called the... 615 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:14,361 it's called the taqutor. 616 00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:15,525 Eric's our numbers man here. 617 00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:17,285 I'm more of a managerial type for Dobis. 618 00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,661 Really looking forward to crunching some numbers 619 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:19,992 on that taqutor, Taquito. 620 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:23,705 Oh, yeah. You must be hungry. 621 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:26,666 - We're fine. - Here. Have a taquito. 622 00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:29,047 Ooh. No, thanks. 623 00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:31,378 You've got to keep those refrigerated, Taquito. 624 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,794 I know. That's why I only eat the middle. 625 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,054 Taquito, don't put that in your mouth, please. 626 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:49,062 Taquito, is everything all right? 627 00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:52,354 It's only blood. It's just natural. 628 00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:56,658 I'm not meant to live long. 629 00:37:58,401 --> 00:37:59,778 Poor boy. 630 00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,201 All right. Well, on that note, 631 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:03,706 we should probably hit the hay. 632 00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:05,242 Okay. 633 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:08,207 - So... - We can sleep right back there? 634 00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:09,712 Yep. 635 00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:12,958 - Good night. - Sweet dreams. 636 00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:17,637 - Good night, Taquito. 637 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:19,343 Good night. 638 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:23,052 Yeah, awfully nice to have some company. 639 00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:24,561 Thanks, Taquito. 640 00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:26,804 Thank you. 641 00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:03,281 Hello, people of S'wallow Mall. 642 00:40:03,443 --> 00:40:06,322 Let's give a real big warm welcome 643 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:09,661 to our presidents of Dobis P.R.... 644 00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:12,543 Tim and Eric! 645 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:17,002 - Hey. - Hey, everybody. 646 00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:18,417 Awesome. 647 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,460 What is up, party people? 648 00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,504 - Thank you. 649 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:24,513 I'm Tim Heidecker. This is Eric Wareheim. 650 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,219 We are Dobis P.R., 651 00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:28,555 and we're here to tell you about our plan 652 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:30,140 to revitalize the S'wallow Valley Mall. 653 00:40:30,303 --> 00:40:32,021 Boo! 654 00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,182 And here's how we're gonna do it, guys. 655 00:40:34,349 --> 00:40:37,353 We're gonna use the three keys to success. 656 00:40:37,518 --> 00:40:40,021 The first key to success. 657 00:40:40,188 --> 00:40:42,782 We gotta get rid of that wolf... 658 00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:51,283 That wolf. 659 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,122 Okay, our second key to success 660 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:55,503 is we've got to clean this mall up. 661 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:58,131 All right? We've got to put a fresh coat of paint on things. 662 00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,461 We've gotta get rid of all you squatters. 663 00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,968 The third key to success 664 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:04,174 is to prepare for the grand re-opening 665 00:41:04,337 --> 00:41:06,431 of the new S'wallow Valley Mall. 666 00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,717 We've got to get rid of the stores that don't work 667 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,351 and bring in stores that do work, 668 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:11,762 that make profits. 669 00:41:11,928 --> 00:41:13,521 That's gonna do it for us, guys. 670 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,899 And we're gonna be making our billion. 671 00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:17,183 You got that right. 672 00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:18,602 I do want to add a small caveat here. 673 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:21,442 We have absolutely no experience doing this kind of stuff. 674 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:24,574 Absolutely not, guys. We are Hollywood actors. 675 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:26,734 Okay? That's our specialty. 676 00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:30,747 Re-opening a shit-hole mall? It's not what we do. 677 00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:32,532 Yeah. We just want to go on record here 678 00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:34,542 so nobody can come back and this can't bite us in the ass 679 00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:36,294 that we didn't know what we were doing here, okay? 680 00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:38,375 When I look in your face, sir, I say to myself, 681 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,381 I wish I stayed in Hollywood 682 00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,884 and just stayed a superstar actor. 683 00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:45,090 What the fuck am I doing down here 684 00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:47,506 doing business in this shit-hole mall? 685 00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:50,095 - But that's Dobis. - That's the pride of Dobis. 686 00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,260 Get used to it 'cause this place is gonna change. 687 00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:54,100 Qh, yeah! 688 00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:59,183 Come on, everybody! Say Dobis! 689 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,318 - Dobis! - Dobis! 690 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:04,447 Dobis in the house. 691 00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:07,825 - Dobis! - Dobis! 692 00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:09,156 Dobis! 693 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,286 Got you just where I want you. 694 00:42:18,453 --> 00:42:20,876 - There you are. 695 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:23,462 Oh, you guys are going down. 696 00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:25,092 Excuse me. I was wondering about this sword. 697 00:42:25,251 --> 00:42:28,050 Hang on. Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone? 698 00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:29,589 Operator. 699 00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:31,554 Yes. Hello, operator. 700 00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:34,265 I need the number for the Schlaaang Corporation. 701 00:42:34,427 --> 00:42:36,680 I have some information they're gonna want to hear. 702 00:42:36,846 --> 00:42:38,189 Let me give you their customer service... 703 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:40,020 No, I don't want customer service, you stupid bitch. 704 00:42:40,183 --> 00:42:43,027 I want you to put me through to headquarters, goddamn it. 705 00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:45,530 - H-hello? 706 00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:48,191 Oh, she hung up. Great. She hung up. 707 00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:49,950 What the hell do you want? 708 00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:53,159 Oh, you're just holding a knife out like I know... 709 00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:55,289 Oh, I know what to do with that. 710 00:42:55,448 --> 00:42:56,700 I just want to see how much this sword was. 711 00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:59,915 Get the hell out of my store. 712 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,939 Official Dobis reps here, 713 00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,850 stopping in for a meet-and-greet. 714 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,404 Hi, welcome to Reggie's. What can I get for you? 715 00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:28,030 We've got a sale on slightly soiled. 716 00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,736 No, no, no. We're not customers. 717 00:43:29,899 --> 00:43:31,492 I don't know if you saw our presentation we did the other day, 718 00:43:31,651 --> 00:43:34,404 but we're running things here at the mall now. 719 00:43:34,570 --> 00:43:36,243 What exactly do you sell here, Reggie? 720 00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:38,157 Oh, used toilet paper, of course. 721 00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:41,168 There's a lot of demand for that here, then, Reg? 722 00:43:41,327 --> 00:43:43,045 It's more of a gourmet operation. 723 00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:44,672 Okay. Write down gourm... 724 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,583 I got it. G-l... 725 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,501 No, G-O-R-M-A-Y. 726 00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:50,136 G-O-R... 727 00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,262 - M-A-Y. - M-A-Y. 728 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:58,353 Yep. Uh, every night, we go out to the usual spots... 729 00:43:58,511 --> 00:44:01,105 you know, abandoned port-a-potties, sewage mains, 730 00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:03,266 those kind of places... and we do our collecting. 731 00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:05,855 And then we take the messy slop back here, 732 00:44:06,018 --> 00:44:08,112 and we spool it all onto new rolls. 733 00:44:08,271 --> 00:44:10,569 What's that? Shit? 734 00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:13,985 It's a shit smell. Is that you? 735 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:15,574 It smells like po-po. 736 00:44:15,736 --> 00:44:18,615 My father taught me this profession years ago. 737 00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:20,499 And now I'm teaching it to my son. 738 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:23,753 - Good. - Speak of the devil. 739 00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:26,581 Come on. 740 00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:30,043 This is Jeffrey. 741 00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:32,678 - Say hello. - Hi. 742 00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:34,339 Hello. 743 00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:37,016 Where have you been hiding this boy? 744 00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:39,803 - That's not a bad boy. - Come here. 745 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:41,437 Let me feast my eyes on that boy. 746 00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,223 Come here. Yeah. 747 00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:45,483 Take a look at you. 748 00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:46,984 HEY 749 00:44:48,060 --> 00:44:49,232 Look at the size of him. 750 00:44:49,395 --> 00:44:51,068 Look at this. 751 00:44:51,230 --> 00:44:53,528 Hmm. 752 00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:55,159 Let me see your mouth. 753 00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:56,490 Nice. Nice teeth. 754 00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:59,872 You want to sit on Uncle Tim's lap? 755 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,079 Get on my knee. 756 00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,209 I like your son a lot. 757 00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,041 All right, all right, Tim. 758 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:08,206 Listen, Reggie, after a few calculations here, 759 00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:11,171 it looks like your store isn't quite fit for the new Dobis brand. 760 00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:13,587 Sorry, Reg. We're gonna have to shut this boy down. 761 00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:16,176 It's been in the family for years. 762 00:45:16,339 --> 00:45:19,513 The new S'wallow Valley Mall is about fresh, clean, safe... 763 00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:20,972 You know what, Tim? 764 00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:23,183 There's an opening for head of janitorial, 765 00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:25,189 and I don't know Reggie's qualifications, 766 00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:26,691 but I feel like we could give him a shot. 767 00:45:26,849 --> 00:45:28,271 What do you think? 768 00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:29,902 Uh, well... 769 00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,404 You do the dust. You do the shine. 770 00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:33,064 We make a mess, you clean it up. 771 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,905 - That's the job. - Okay. 772 00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,694 Great. Well, Reg, 773 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:39,988 it sounds like you're gonna be pretty busy over the next few weeks. 774 00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:41,827 Jeffrey, how about you tag along with us? 775 00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:43,115 And I can teach you a little bit about 776 00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:45,284 what it's like to be a businessman around here, 777 00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:47,124 what it's like to be a real man. 778 00:45:47,286 --> 00:45:50,916 What it's like to be a real successful businessman. 779 00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:52,299 Huh? Sound good? 780 00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:54,426 - Yes, sir. - Don't call me sir. 781 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,804 Why don't you call me Daddy? Say "Yes, Daddy." 782 00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:58,260 Yes, Daddy. 783 00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:00,720 Does that sound good to you, Uncle Reg? 784 00:46:00,883 --> 00:46:03,136 Yeah. Okay. 785 00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:06,476 Are you gonna be my son? That's what I thought. 786 00:46:41,424 --> 00:46:42,801 Attention, squatters. 787 00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:44,435 This is your final warning. 788 00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:46,812 Please vacate the mall immediately. 789 00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:50,020 This is a direct order from Dobis P.R. 790 00:46:53,436 --> 00:46:54,733 Get out of here. 791 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:16,592 Swing, swing, swing. Swing, swing. 792 00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:17,798 Oh, shit. 793 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,177 You got, like, a foot back here 794 00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:20,680 if you swing it hard enough. 795 00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:23,800 I got it. I got it. 796 00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:26,060 Back it up. 797 00:47:28,721 --> 00:47:30,689 Get out and push. Get out and push. 798 00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:39,949 Hey! I'm trying to work in here. 799 00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,622 All right. Shrim Alternative Healing Center. 800 00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:48,374 It looks like they have a video here, guys. 801 00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,660 You want to watch a movie, son? 802 00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:51,918 Good day. 803 00:47:52,078 --> 00:47:53,421 I'm Dr. Doone Strutts. 804 00:47:53,579 --> 00:47:55,502 And I want to thank you for choosing 805 00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:57,917 the Shrim Alternative Healing Center. 806 00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,677 Shrim. 807 00:47:59,835 --> 00:48:01,837 Shrim can help you achieve 808 00:48:02,004 --> 00:48:03,722 premium body health. 809 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:06,555 Shrim. 810 00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:11,180 Ooh. 811 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,100 You must locate your inner shrim. 812 00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:16,815 - Shrim begin. 813 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,565 I will help you find your shrim, 814 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,200 along with my sons. 815 00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:26,488 - Shrim! - Shrim! 816 00:48:26,654 --> 00:48:28,998 Shrim. 817 00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:33,411 - Shrim! 818 00:48:34,995 --> 00:48:38,124 Shrim! 819 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,917 I'd really like to get my shrim tested, 820 00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:41,381 meet Dr. Doone. 821 00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:43,638 Shrim. Sounds like shrimp. 822 00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:45,924 Shrimp sounds like Shemp. 823 00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:49,390 Shrim. We should get some shrimp for dinner. 824 00:48:49,552 --> 00:48:50,678 What? 825 00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:52,097 Shrim! Shrim! Shrim! 826 00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,812 Shrim! 827 00:49:02,898 --> 00:49:05,617 All right, Katie's Celebrity Balloons is our last stop. 828 00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:07,153 Looks like no one's home. We can turn around. 829 00:49:07,319 --> 00:49:08,616 - No. - Let's go back. 830 00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:10,907 Just play it cool. Play it just like yourself. 831 00:49:11,073 --> 00:49:13,997 Just be natural. Don't forget we're here for business. 832 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,503 Let's do it. 833 00:49:18,164 --> 00:49:21,543 Jeffrey, stick with me. Play with the balloons. 834 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,882 Hello. Hi. Tim and Eric here. 835 00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:27,298 - Oh, hi there. - Hi, I'm Tim Heideck... 836 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,263 Hey, I'm Eric Wareheim. 837 00:49:29,425 --> 00:49:32,474 Businessmen here. I'm so nervous. 838 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:33,728 So, um, love you. 839 00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:35,390 - No. - No? 840 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:37,433 Just be yourself. 841 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,318 Hi. Eric Wareheim. I love you. 842 00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,696 - Mm. Start again. Pardon us. - One, two, three. 843 00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:43,948 Hi, I'm Eric Wareheim. Very in love with you... 844 00:49:44,106 --> 00:49:45,358 - Okay. - This is business. 845 00:49:45,524 --> 00:49:47,447 I'm trying to just say the business thing. 846 00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:48,702 We won't be able to use any of that. 847 00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:50,738 - Cut the love? - Yeah. 848 00:49:50,905 --> 00:49:53,374 Hi, I'm Eric Wareheim. We're here from Dobis. 849 00:49:53,532 --> 00:49:55,205 We're evaluating your balloon stand. 850 00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:56,914 And I love you so much. 851 00:49:57,077 --> 00:49:59,079 All right. Why don't you take two? 852 00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:01,999 - Tsst. Tsst. 853 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,136 Take five. I'll get this. Hi. We're Dobis. 854 00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:07,638 We're just walking around, trying to get a lay of the land, 855 00:50:07,796 --> 00:50:10,094 figuring out what you guys need, how we can make this mall better. 856 00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:12,430 Oh. I was in the audience. 857 00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:15,517 I saw your presentation. You were wonderful. 858 00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:18,023 Thank you for coming all this way to help us. 859 00:50:18,182 --> 00:50:21,061 These are super cool. How do you even make them? 860 00:50:21,227 --> 00:50:22,570 Oh, thank you. 861 00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:24,105 Eric. Eric. 862 00:50:28,692 --> 00:50:33,072 Uh, so, Katie, I would love to schedule an official Dobis dinner 863 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:34,661 to discuss your business model 864 00:50:34,823 --> 00:50:36,996 for your balloon store here. 865 00:50:37,159 --> 00:50:39,537 With both of you? That would be great. 866 00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:41,580 Um, or just me. 867 00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:43,715 Um, Tim will probably be busy with his son, 868 00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:45,922 so you and I can just kind of go over all the details. 869 00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:48,053 Friday's no good. Jeff's got a lot of homework. 870 00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:49,634 We're gonna concentrate on that. 871 00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:52,050 Oh. Okay, fine. 872 00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,310 Oh, yeah. 873 00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:56,812 - Hey, Eric. 874 00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:09,905 Jeffrey! 875 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,029 Jeff? 876 00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,168 I miss you, son. 877 00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:32,882 What are you working on over there, bud? 878 00:51:33,048 --> 00:51:35,176 I'm just crunching some numbers with the taqutor here, 879 00:51:35,342 --> 00:51:37,390 and we got a problem. 880 00:51:37,553 --> 00:51:38,930 What are you talking about? 881 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:40,643 Come take a look at this. 882 00:51:42,266 --> 00:51:43,438 Taqutor, 883 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:45,444 load up the Dobis presentation, please. 884 00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:47,605 See what I'm saying? It doesn't add up. 885 00:51:47,771 --> 00:51:49,819 Eric, it's probably just a bug in the mainframe. 886 00:51:49,982 --> 00:51:51,655 I'll have Jeffrey run a diagnostic. 887 00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:53,319 We'll get it sorted out. It's nothing to worry about. 888 00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:55,283 No. There's nothing wrong with the taqutor, man. 889 00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,416 The numbers are right here. There's no way we're making that bil. 890 00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:00,622 What are you saying? That Weebs lied to us? 891 00:52:00,784 --> 00:52:02,752 You know how stupid that sounds? 892 00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:04,504 You know what your problem is? 893 00:52:04,663 --> 00:52:07,917 Your head's in the clouds thinking about Katie all the time. 894 00:52:08,083 --> 00:52:09,130 Let me ask you something. 895 00:52:09,293 --> 00:52:12,217 How many times did you masturbate to her today? 896 00:52:12,379 --> 00:52:13,926 Like five or six. 897 00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,261 Five or six times, 898 00:52:15,424 --> 00:52:16,892 when you should have been focused on the prize. 899 00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:18,473 You should be focused on this: 900 00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,354 opening up the S'wallow Valley Mall, 901 00:52:20,512 --> 00:52:23,231 making the "mooney," okay? Not some dumb slut. 902 00:52:23,390 --> 00:52:25,484 Hey! 903 00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:28,522 Say what you want about my calculations in the taqutor, 904 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:30,155 but leave Katie out of this. 905 00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:52,170 May I have a bite of your apple? 906 00:53:02,554 --> 00:53:05,023 I wish I had a bigger bite. 907 00:53:05,182 --> 00:53:08,561 That bite was all mine because I worked hard for it. 908 00:53:08,727 --> 00:53:11,401 Yep. I didn't deserve that bite. 909 00:53:11,563 --> 00:53:13,736 I should have worked harder. 910 00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:23,913 Oh, ladies, ladies, ladies. 911 00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:29,381 I'm a successful businessman, ladies. 912 00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:33,386 I built the Schlaaang empire from the ground up. 913 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:37,549 And if you think two idiots can make a fool of me, 914 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:41,060 then you've got a lot to learn about business 915 00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:42,891 and the Schlaaang way. 916 00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:46,310 Yes. 917 00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:48,396 I've had you here for days, 918 00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:51,062 and you've given me nothing. 919 00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,822 Cornell, could you untie Mrs. Wareheim, please? 920 00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:01,872 Yes. 921 00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:04,499 You see this? 922 00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:06,456 It's a letter opener. 923 00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:09,413 It was my grandpop's. 924 00:54:09,580 --> 00:54:12,379 Beautiful. 925 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:16,262 He must have used it to open up thousands of letters over the years, 926 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:20,926 but it also settled more than a few arguments. 927 00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,480 Do you want to lose a finger, too? 928 00:54:26,638 --> 00:54:27,639 Where are your sons? 929 00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:29,774 I wish I could tell you what you need to know 930 00:54:29,933 --> 00:54:31,685 if it would get your billion dollars back to you. 931 00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:34,526 But I just don't think I know where they did get to. 932 00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:39,443 Motherfucking Tim and Eric, where did you go? 933 00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:04,556 - Ahem. Excuse me. - What? 934 00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:06,812 Sorry to interrupt, but do you want to get back to Dobis? 935 00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:08,893 Or do you want to continue singing? 936 00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:11,935 Yeah. It's fine. Just got lost in my music. 937 00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,853 Well, we've got Drimble's Yogurt here. 938 00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:17,398 Uh, looks like the power's been off for years, 939 00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:19,942 so we got a lot of spoiled yogurt we gotta deal with. 940 00:55:20,108 --> 00:55:22,486 And, as you recall, Taquito gave us a little intel 941 00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:25,748 about a so-called yogurt man that's haunting the premises. 942 00:55:25,906 --> 00:55:27,283 So Dobo better investigo. 943 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:29,497 Well, if there is a yogurt man in there, Eric, 944 00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,913 then today he's getting his eviction notice. 945 00:55:38,502 --> 00:55:40,504 Oh, God. 946 00:55:40,671 --> 00:55:42,514 The smell. 947 00:55:44,091 --> 00:55:45,889 Yogurt man, are you in here? 948 00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:49,350 Hello? 949 00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:52,062 Yogurt man? Ohh! 950 00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:06,163 Yogurt man, stand down! 951 00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:09,040 The mall's haunted! 952 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:14,246 Wait. 953 00:56:14,413 --> 00:56:16,086 Taquito? 954 00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:28,386 - Taquito. - I'm sorry, guys. 955 00:56:28,552 --> 00:56:32,648 I just don't want anything to change. 956 00:56:32,806 --> 00:56:34,649 Taquito, change is important. 957 00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:37,357 But that doesn't mean we're gonna forget about our old friends. 958 00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:41,736 - I don't know. - Hold on a second, Taquito. 959 00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:54,419 Taquito, we just had a Dobis meeting, 960 00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:56,330 and we've decided to let you run the mall fountain. 961 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:02,090 Really? 962 00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:04,050 Not only do you have to get it working, but you have to maintain it 963 00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:06,590 and keep track of all the loose change. 964 00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:09,977 So I think Taquito's gonna be with us for quite some time. 965 00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:12,137 Thanks, guys. 966 00:57:12,304 --> 00:57:14,147 I'll do the best I can. 967 00:57:14,306 --> 00:57:17,276 I hope I don't kick the bucket before I finish. 968 00:57:19,019 --> 00:57:22,740 Shut the fuck up, you fucking cunt motherfuckers! 969 00:57:22,898 --> 00:57:25,117 I'll kill you, you goddamn... 970 00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:28,119 - Tim, how do I look? - Take a peek. 971 00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:30,201 Well, well, well. 972 00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:32,867 - Sharp as a tack. - I'm feeling pretty good. 973 00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:34,626 Big date tonight, huh? 974 00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:36,787 Yeah. I'm taking Katie to Inbreadables. 975 00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:38,001 That'll be nice. 976 00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:40,632 - I'm trying to impress her. - Oh. Almost forgot. 977 00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,338 I got you a little something here. 978 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:45,505 - It's called a Spanish fly. - What is it? 979 00:57:45,671 --> 00:57:46,843 Let's just say it'll enhance 980 00:57:47,005 --> 00:57:48,507 your lovemaking experience tonight. 981 00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:49,971 I put this right in my ass? 982 00:57:50,133 --> 00:57:53,683 Mm, no. You put it orally. Yeah, right in your mouth. 983 00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:56,682 Did you swallow it? 984 00:57:57,891 --> 00:58:00,360 - Come on, swallow it. 985 00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:04,194 - Perfect. - Didn't go in. 986 00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,654 Come on. Swallow it. 987 00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:09,661 Mmm. 988 00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,493 Well, you better hit the road, then. 989 00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:13,578 Okay. Wish me luck, bud. 990 00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:15,834 I guess I'll just stay here and work on Dobis. 991 00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,791 Keep my eye on the prize. 992 00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:20,706 Good luck with the pills. Good luck. 993 00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,551 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 994 00:58:24,710 --> 00:58:27,759 This is James Quall here to talk about bread, 995 00:58:27,921 --> 00:58:30,845 and one thing I'd have to say 996 00:58:31,008 --> 00:58:34,854 is that I'd rather be saying all these bread lines 997 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,184 than standing in one. 998 00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:42,269 Ah, yes. One thing that might be a hazard 999 00:58:42,436 --> 00:58:43,858 about talking about bread 1000 00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:48,197 is they might accuse one of being a loafer. 1001 00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:51,324 Now I've just come from Hollywood, 1002 00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:55,036 where they have all these famous personalities 1003 00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:58,202 like Bread Pitt and Robert Breadford. 1004 00:59:01,413 --> 00:59:03,086 And now... 1005 00:59:03,248 --> 00:59:05,717 I'll be "baguette" 1006 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,924 in 20 minutes. 1007 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:10,134 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 1008 00:59:15,594 --> 00:59:17,267 I love this place. 1009 00:59:17,429 --> 00:59:18,931 I know what you mean. 1010 00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:21,725 - You want some of this bread slop? - I'd love some. 1011 00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,404 - Mmm. 1012 00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:32,911 This is so good. 1013 00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:44,585 This is a funky place. 1014 00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:47,884 So you were telling me about your mom. 1015 00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:51,388 Oh. Well, my mother calls every Saturday night, right? 1016 00:59:51,546 --> 00:59:54,720 It's like she's just calling to see if I have a date. 1017 00:59:54,883 --> 00:59:57,261 - So she doesn't just call... - Ohh! 1018 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,770 Are you okay, honey? 1019 01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:14,744 Is it getting hot in here? 1020 01:00:14,903 --> 01:00:16,655 I don't think so. 1021 01:00:17,864 --> 01:00:19,457 I'm just feeling really weird. 1022 01:00:21,284 --> 01:00:22,661 Are you okay, honey? 1023 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:28,500 There's so much fucking bread here. 1024 01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:32,012 Fuck. Fuck. Ohh! 1025 01:00:32,170 --> 01:00:33,592 Isn't it hot in here, Katie? 1026 01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:36,258 Little something called Spanish fly. 1027 01:00:36,424 --> 01:00:38,301 Eric, are you okay? 1028 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:40,470 I have way too many teeth in my mouth! 1029 01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:42,605 You might need some help. 1030 01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,727 - Hi, how are you? - No! 1031 01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:50,818 - What? 1032 01:00:50,981 --> 01:00:53,154 Sorry, Eric, there's nothing I can do for you now. 1033 01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:55,489 - What the fuck is that? 1034 01:00:56,862 --> 01:00:58,330 I'm gonna take you to the Shrim Healing Center. 1035 01:00:58,488 --> 01:00:59,614 Come on. You'll feel much better. 1036 01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:01,749 Excuse me. I'm so sorry, everyone. 1037 01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:04,286 Shrim! 1038 01:01:06,204 --> 01:01:08,002 Come on in, my son. 1039 01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:11,044 Dr. Doone has you now, 1040 01:01:11,209 --> 01:01:14,884 and he's going to make you feel all better. 1041 01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:16,844 - Where am I? - Shh. 1042 01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:19,260 Quiet, my boy. 1043 01:01:19,426 --> 01:01:23,727 You need the healing powers of shrim. 1044 01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:25,141 I can sense that. 1045 01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:26,729 Okay. 1046 01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:28,894 You're in a very bad place. 1047 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,033 Now drop those pants. 1048 01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:40,951 Shrim! 1049 01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:58,515 How was your date? 1050 01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:01,935 Not so good. 1051 01:02:02,093 --> 01:02:03,219 Eric got sick. 1052 01:02:03,386 --> 01:02:06,731 Aw. That's too bad. 1053 01:02:06,890 --> 01:02:09,143 It must be really unsatisfying. 1054 01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:12,733 Yeah. It was. 1055 01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,909 It's a little awkward, isn't it? 1056 01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:22,535 - Yeah. I suppose. - I'm so nervous. 1057 01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:27,119 Listen. 1058 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,162 Want to go inside? 1059 01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:32,666 Okay. 1060 01:02:32,832 --> 01:02:34,630 Are you sure? 1061 01:02:34,793 --> 01:02:37,137 No. 1062 01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:40,299 Okay. Let's go. Come on. 1063 01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:44,765 Step into the tub, my son. 1064 01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:47,556 That's it. That's it. 1065 01:02:47,722 --> 01:02:51,101 Everything's going to be okay, Eric, my boy. 1066 01:02:51,268 --> 01:02:53,441 Dr. Doone has got you, 1067 01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:57,358 and he's going to give you a nice warm shrim bath. 1068 01:02:57,524 --> 01:02:59,652 - What? - All my boys have been 1069 01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:02,947 hiding the shrim inside them for days now, 1070 01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:06,037 and they're excited to finally let it out all over you. 1071 01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:08,793 - What boys? - Come, my sons. 1072 01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:11,330 - It's time. 1073 01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:14,124 Oh, look at them. They can barely hold it in. 1074 01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:17,301 Shrim. 1075 01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:19,633 Shrim. 1076 01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:23,096 Shrim. Shrim. 1077 01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:30,144 - Yeah. 1078 01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:44,363 Shrim. 1079 01:03:44,529 --> 01:03:46,873 Shrim. 1080 01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,830 - Shrim. 1081 01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:50,494 Shrim. 1082 01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:54,547 - Ohh! - Shrim. 1083 01:03:57,834 --> 01:03:59,006 Shrim. 1084 01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:02,844 My boys only eat the finest, softest meat 1085 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:06,180 so that they can achieve a level of shrim 1086 01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:07,970 that's unmatched. 1087 01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:11,015 Shrim. Shrim. 1088 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,419 Qh! 1089 01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:39,463 Let the brown, 1090 01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:41,924 foamy mess wash all over you. 1091 01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:57,694 Oh, that's a beautiful thing. 1092 01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:07,905 Shrim, shrim. 1093 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,549 This is the power of shrim! 1094 01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,863 Jeffrey? 1095 01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:47,572 Is that you, boy? 1096 01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:57,003 What are you doing, Jeffrey? 1097 01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:00,206 Where's Papa Tim? 1098 01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,716 Is he inside? 1099 01:06:02,709 --> 01:06:04,131 Where are you going? 1100 01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:07,096 Hello? 1101 01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:17,603 What the fuck. 1102 01:06:19,893 --> 01:06:22,066 - Shit. - What's going on? 1103 01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:23,730 Eric, don't do anything stupid here, buddy. 1104 01:06:23,897 --> 01:06:25,991 I should go. 1105 01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:28,243 Katie. How could you do this to me? 1106 01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,449 - Eric, I'm so sorry. - Hey, stop. 1107 01:06:30,612 --> 01:06:32,831 You listen to me. I saved you from her. 1108 01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:35,617 She was nothing but dead weight, Eric. She was making you soft. 1109 01:06:35,783 --> 01:06:38,502 - She was not making me soft. - She was making you soft. 1110 01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,379 She wasn't making me soft. 1111 01:06:40,538 --> 01:06:42,711 She was making you soft! 1112 01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:45,002 She was making me hard. 1113 01:06:46,085 --> 01:06:47,382 Rock hard. 1114 01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:50,090 Sometimes, when you're writing, 1115 01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:52,509 you just look for opportunities to create moments 1116 01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:53,847 that take you out of the scene 1117 01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:55,353 and just add... add a joke. 1118 01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:58,482 The jag was that we were doing "soft, soft, soft" 1119 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,859 and sort of out of nowhere we go "hard." 1120 01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,985 Boom! Laugh. 1121 01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:04,612 We fought for a laugh track, 1122 01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:07,570 and they said, "No, this is a feature film for the theaters. 1123 01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:10,201 A laugh track wouldn't make any sense." 1124 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,283 Think about it. 1125 01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:14,573 Eric, she was making you soft. 1126 01:07:14,739 --> 01:07:17,208 She's taken your eyes off the game, Eric, okay? We're here for Dobis. 1127 01:07:17,367 --> 01:07:18,994 What did you give me? That wasn't Spanish fly. 1128 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,878 I played the oldest trick in the book. 1129 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:23,415 But I had to play it 'cause I needed to save my friend. 1130 01:07:23,581 --> 01:07:25,003 You poisoned me. 1131 01:07:25,166 --> 01:07:28,136 - What else could I do? - You son of a bitch. 1132 01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:39,685 - Motherfucker! 1133 01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,224 How could you do that? 1134 01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,685 NO! No! 1135 01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:47,989 Guys! 1136 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:53,661 - Jim Joe? - Why are you fighting? Stop fighting. 1137 01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:55,993 Don't you remember my poem about peace? 1138 01:07:56,155 --> 01:07:57,748 If you don't remember, I'll recite it for you. 1139 01:07:57,907 --> 01:08:00,706 - Jim Joe! - P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-peace. 1140 01:08:00,868 --> 01:08:04,418 P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-peace. 1141 01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:13,757 Come on. Yeah, yeah. 1142 01:08:19,971 --> 01:08:21,973 Aah! 1143 01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:30,781 Like that? 1144 01:08:32,483 --> 01:08:33,780 Ohh! 1145 01:08:35,278 --> 01:08:36,530 You want some of this? 1146 01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:43,124 Qh! 1147 01:08:45,872 --> 01:08:47,465 Aah! 1148 01:08:54,297 --> 01:08:56,925 Why are you fighting? 1149 01:09:06,225 --> 01:09:08,899 Motherfucker! 1150 01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:16,987 No! No! Aah! Ohh! 1151 01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,451 333! you're Sorry! 1152 01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:25,337 - I'm sorry! ' Sal! You're sorry! 1153 01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:28,044 I'm sorry! I'm sorry I poisoned you. 1154 01:09:28,206 --> 01:09:30,174 - Okay. It's okay. - I'm sorry for everything! 1155 01:09:30,333 --> 01:09:32,210 I'm sorry I poisoned you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1156 01:09:32,377 --> 01:09:34,220 No, no, no, no. Listen, I'm sorry, man. 1157 01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:37,303 I'm sorry. You were looking out for me. 1158 01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:40,093 You were looking out for us and the whole Dobis thing. 1159 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,602 I know that now. 1160 01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:43,263 I'm glad you finally see it that way 1161 01:09:43,429 --> 01:09:44,897 'cause I'm just trying to help. 1162 01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:48,435 Yeah. I just have to ask you one question. 1163 01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:51,070 Why'd you have to sleep with Katie? You know I love her. 1164 01:09:51,229 --> 01:09:54,233 Well, to be honest with you, the plan made me horny. 1165 01:09:54,399 --> 01:09:56,618 I had to empty my ball sack into something. 1166 01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:01,243 That moist hole must have felt so good. 1167 01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:04,375 Boy, you really do love her, don't you? 1168 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:06,081 I really do. 1169 01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:08,588 It's not gonna bother you when you're making love to her 1170 01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:10,123 that my wick got inside that hole? 1171 01:10:10,289 --> 01:10:12,132 Not at all, man. 1172 01:10:12,291 --> 01:10:13,964 There's something special about it, 1173 01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:15,879 you being deep inside like that. 1174 01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,553 Well, then, it will be an honor to be your best man. 1175 01:10:25,221 --> 01:10:26,689 Come on down to the grand re-opening 1176 01:10:26,848 --> 01:10:28,191 of the S'wallow Valley Mall. 1177 01:10:28,349 --> 01:10:29,896 I'll be there. My best friend Tim Heidecker will be there. 1178 01:10:30,059 --> 01:10:31,402 I think you're gonna like what you see. 1179 01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:32,904 Ooh, you're gonna like the fake trees. 1180 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,609 Ooh, you're gonna like all our new stores. 1181 01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,649 Ooh, you're gonna like meeting my new son Jeffrey. 1182 01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:38,568 My best friend Tim and I redid this whole mall for you. 1183 01:10:38,735 --> 01:10:39,782 You got to come down. 1184 01:10:39,944 --> 01:10:40,991 It isn't gonna kill you. Come on down. 1185 01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:42,827 - It's for Dobis' sake! - I'm gonna murder myself 1186 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,582 if you don't come down to my new fucking mall. 1187 01:10:48,286 --> 01:10:50,755 Come on down to the grand re-opening of the S'wallow Valley Mall. 1188 01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:52,665 My dad told me this is the coolest mall ever. 1189 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:55,005 You think you know more than my dad? Don't fucking come, then. 1190 01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:56,841 It's the grand re-opening of the S'wallow Valley Mall. 1191 01:10:57,003 --> 01:11:00,303 It's just off Route 35 right here in historic S'wallow Valley. 1192 01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,262 Where did you get that? 1193 01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:07,647 This guy named Bishopman. He sends this to me. 1194 01:11:07,805 --> 01:11:10,274 He's been filling up my voice-mail box for weeks 1195 01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:11,855 with crazy rants about these guys. 1196 01:11:12,018 --> 01:11:13,440 But look at this. 1197 01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,605 We got them, Tommy. We got them. 1198 01:11:15,772 --> 01:11:18,400 Earle, gather the men. 1199 01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:21,695 We found your boys. We're gonna go get them. 1200 01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:55,319 All right. 1201 01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:57,230 Listen, guys, on behalf of Dobis, 1202 01:11:57,396 --> 01:11:59,364 I want to say thank you for all your hard work 1203 01:11:59,524 --> 01:12:01,322 in getting this mall back in shape. 1204 01:12:01,484 --> 01:12:02,827 And I gotta say something personally. 1205 01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:04,362 We're all very proud of you. 1206 01:12:04,529 --> 01:12:05,746 Guys, tomorrow is our big day, 1207 01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:07,999 and Dobis couldn't be more jazzed about it. 1208 01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,784 But right now I want to have a little fun, 1209 01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:11,794 with the permission of my best friend Tim. 1210 01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:14,172 Muyo permissiono granted. 1211 01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:19,802 Taquito, would you do the honors? 1212 01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:22,680 Here goes nothing. 1213 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,391 On three, everybody. 1214 01:12:25,550 --> 01:12:28,850 One, two, three! 1215 01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:33,354 Taquito. 1216 01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:34,517 It's wonderful. 1217 01:12:34,684 --> 01:12:36,357 It's gorgeous, Taquito. 1218 01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:39,318 I worked really hard on it. 1219 01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:42,359 - We should make a wish. - I love it. 1220 01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:44,948 Oh, Dobis, I wish for this grand re-opening 1221 01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:47,205 to be the greatest grand re-opening of all time. 1222 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:49,331 I wish that Tim Heidecker remains my best friend 1223 01:12:49,490 --> 01:12:51,868 - and I get to marry Katie soon. - Hmm. 1224 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,919 I forgot about that wolf. 1225 01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:04,881 I know what to do. 1226 01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:08,392 I will need some duct tape and some pizza. 1227 01:13:24,567 --> 01:13:26,194 Eric, I don't feel good about this. 1228 01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,987 Taquito, be careful. 1229 01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:31,123 Mama Wolf! 1230 01:13:31,282 --> 01:13:32,374 Taquito. 1231 01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:35,457 I have some nice pizza for you. 1232 01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,748 Remember when we had pizza? 1233 01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:46,381 Hi, Mama Wolf. Remember your baby boy? 1234 01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:52,308 I have to ask you a little favor. 1235 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:55,106 It's time to go back to the... 1236 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,615 - Taquito! 1237 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:12,790 He's gone. 1238 01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:15,418 Must have snapped that neck on the way down. 1239 01:14:15,576 --> 01:14:17,954 - He saved the mall. - Tell you what, Taquito. 1240 01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:19,588 We're going to change the name of the pizza court 1241 01:14:19,747 --> 01:14:21,044 to the Taquito court, do you hear me? 1242 01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:22,424 Goodbye, boy. 1243 01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:24,585 I miss the shit out of him already. 1244 01:14:26,921 --> 01:14:29,299 - Taquito! - Mr. Weebs? 1245 01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:31,763 What are you doing here? 1246 01:14:31,926 --> 01:14:34,770 I could sense my boy Taquito was in trouble. 1247 01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:36,647 It's too late. He's already dead. 1248 01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:38,683 He sacrificed his body for the mall. 1249 01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,066 He's gone. 1250 01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:43,900 Taquito. 1251 01:14:44,063 --> 01:14:45,235 He's alive. 1252 01:14:45,398 --> 01:14:48,151 Uh, am I in heaven? 1253 01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:52,159 Taquito, you killed the wolf, and you saved the mall. 1254 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,164 You did just what you said you'd do. 1255 01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:56,325 Uh, I did it. 1256 01:14:56,492 --> 01:14:57,914 I killed the wolf. 1257 01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:02,089 You did, my little boy. 1258 01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:04,125 I'm so proud of you. 1259 01:15:04,291 --> 01:15:06,714 I'm not gonna last long. 1260 01:15:06,877 --> 01:15:09,847 I'm in a lot of pain. 1261 01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:11,633 Oh, Taquito. 1262 01:15:11,799 --> 01:15:16,100 Would you like Uncle Damian to put some lead in you, son? 1263 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:18,606 It's so cold down here. 1264 01:15:18,764 --> 01:15:20,687 Put me to sleep forever. 1265 01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:25,021 Oh, Taquito. 1266 01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:29,192 I can't watch him die twice. I can't do it. Sorry. 1267 01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:34,410 - Taquito! 1268 01:15:38,075 --> 01:15:40,043 I'm still here. 1269 01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:44,040 - Better try again. 1270 01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:45,924 Okay. 1271 01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:48,927 Taquito! 1272 01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:51,635 Now I can't feel my legs. 1273 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:54,220 It won't be long now. 1274 01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:55,430 I can't take this. Finish him off. 1275 01:15:55,593 --> 01:15:57,391 Damn it, Weebs, shoot him in the face. 1276 01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:59,226 No. 1277 01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:01,686 I want my Taquito to have an open casket funeral. 1278 01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:09,236 Ow. Ohh! 1279 01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,570 Come on, Taquito. 1280 01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,906 Just die, Taquito. Come on. 1281 01:16:16,655 --> 01:16:19,875 Any minute now. 1282 01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:22,537 Maybe I won't be sick in heaven. 1283 01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:27,750 He's dead. Is he dead? 1284 01:16:31,253 --> 01:16:33,426 - Yeah. - Good. 1285 01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:35,341 - Bye-bye. - Bye, Taquito. Thank you. 1286 01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:38,686 That's it, then. 1287 01:16:51,857 --> 01:16:54,110 A little to the left. 1288 01:16:54,276 --> 01:16:57,325 Back a little bit. That looks pretty good. 1289 01:16:57,488 --> 01:16:58,956 - It's great. - Yeah. 1290 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:01,618 You know what, Eric? There's something I need to tell you. 1291 01:17:01,784 --> 01:17:03,286 I think you may have been right. 1292 01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:06,289 I did some numbers crunching of my own, 1293 01:17:06,455 --> 01:17:08,298 and there's no way we're going to make 1294 01:17:08,457 --> 01:17:10,004 a billion dollars running this mall. 1295 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:13,011 I know. But you know what? That doesn't matter any more. 1296 01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,389 It's not about the money. It's about you and me. 1297 01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:17,676 It's about your new son. It's about Katie. 1298 01:17:17,842 --> 01:17:20,721 It's about the mall. I mean, we've really made a difference here. 1299 01:17:20,886 --> 01:17:23,765 You know what? They probably forgot about that billion dollars anyway. 1300 01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:27,105 It's just a billion dollars. Heel 1301 01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:29,987 I love this fucking mall! Come on. 1302 01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,989 - To Dobis. - Hey, big news. 1303 01:17:32,148 --> 01:17:34,992 You have just been made Dobis' employee of the month. 1304 01:17:35,151 --> 01:17:36,949 I want to live in this fucking mall forever. 1305 01:17:37,111 --> 01:17:38,408 Yeah. 1306 01:17:39,488 --> 01:17:41,035 Forever? 1307 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:48,626 Do you forgive me for sleeping with Tim? 1308 01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:50,041 I do. 1309 01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:53,335 - There he is. 1310 01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:54,799 Ohh! 1311 01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,680 I hope you never leave. 1312 01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:00,514 I guess we're gonna be here forever. 1313 01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:06,352 Look, Dad, our first customers. 1314 01:18:08,392 --> 01:18:09,985 I don't think those are customers, son. 1315 01:18:11,312 --> 01:18:12,814 Let me take a look. 1316 01:18:15,649 --> 01:18:17,868 Shit. Schlaaang. 1317 01:18:18,027 --> 01:18:19,495 They found us. 1318 01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:21,576 All right, everybody inside. Come on. 1319 01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,373 What's going on? 1320 01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:53,737 Listen up, Tim and Eric! 1321 01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:55,944 We have you surrounded! 1322 01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:58,529 And if you don't come out in 10 seconds, 1323 01:18:58,692 --> 01:19:02,322 I'm gonna come in there and blow you to fucking hell! 1324 01:19:02,488 --> 01:19:05,583 Finally. Good luck, assholes. 1325 01:19:08,619 --> 01:19:10,747 Ha ha ha! Hey, guys, it's me... Allen. 1326 01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:14,543 I was the one who sent you the tape telling you where to find Tim and Eric. 1327 01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:17,052 - Shit! 1328 01:19:17,211 --> 01:19:18,633 - Eric, look out! - Oh, God! 1329 01:19:21,465 --> 01:19:24,139 Okay, okay, listen, maybe... maybe I overreacted. 1330 01:19:24,301 --> 01:19:26,303 You think there's some common ground here... 1331 01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:27,892 I like you-you like me kind of thing? 1332 01:19:28,055 --> 01:19:30,604 Tim, we need a Dobis-sized idea stat! 1333 01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,734 Okay, hold on now. Hold on. Let me think. 1334 01:19:32,893 --> 01:19:35,487 - Come on! Think! - Come on, Tim. 1335 01:19:35,646 --> 01:19:38,695 - What's going on? - Ah, I got it. 1336 01:19:38,857 --> 01:19:40,655 Reggie, hey, come on in. 1337 01:19:40,818 --> 01:19:41,944 Come here, come here, come here. 1338 01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:43,863 - How's everything? - Good. 1339 01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:46,202 Family good? 1340 01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:48,868 - Yes. - Okay. 1341 01:19:49,034 --> 01:19:51,036 So, listen, we got a little thing out here. 1342 01:19:51,203 --> 01:19:53,297 It's not really a big deal. But if you'd go out there and talk to them, 1343 01:19:53,455 --> 01:19:55,674 maybe knock some sense into them, Reg. 1344 01:19:55,833 --> 01:19:57,710 - Nice. - You're a reasonable man. 1345 01:19:57,876 --> 01:19:59,878 They're reasonable men. You could go out there 1346 01:20:00,045 --> 01:20:01,297 and tell them to put their guns down. 1347 01:20:01,463 --> 01:20:02,806 Would you do that for us, Reg? 1348 01:20:02,965 --> 01:20:04,308 Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it, do it. 1349 01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:05,809 Dobis needs you, Reg. Please. 1350 01:20:05,968 --> 01:20:07,265 You'd be hitting it out of the park for us 1351 01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:09,396 if you did it, Reg. 1352 01:20:09,555 --> 01:20:11,774 - I can do that. - Will you do it? Oh, good. Thanks, Reg. 1353 01:20:11,932 --> 01:20:13,400 Why don't you go ahead and do that now, then? 1354 01:20:17,688 --> 01:20:19,907 - Dobis thanks you, Reg. 1355 01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:27,948 Hi. 1356 01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,243 My name is Reggie. 1357 01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:32,878 I think we should all take a moment here 1358 01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:34,459 and reassess the situation 1359 01:20:34,621 --> 01:20:36,544 because there are a lot of good people in there 1360 01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:39,051 and I would hate to see any of them hurt. 1361 01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,337 Fire! 1362 01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:42,629 No. 1363 01:20:55,392 --> 01:20:57,611 How do you like that, Tim and Eric? 1364 01:20:57,770 --> 01:20:59,443 Huh? Ha! Ha! 1365 01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:01,198 Aah! 1366 01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:04,110 That didn't work. Sorry. 1367 01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:06,278 We're doomed. 1368 01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:09,039 What is that smell? 1369 01:21:10,157 --> 01:21:11,875 I pooped my pants. 1370 01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:14,253 Oh, Allen, that's disgusting. 1371 01:21:14,411 --> 01:21:16,539 Look, I'm sorry that I tattled on you two. 1372 01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:18,048 I shouldn't have called. 1373 01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:20,050 I just thought they were going to give you a slap on the wrist. 1374 01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:21,552 Smell's getting in my eyes. 1375 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:23,428 Wait a second. I have an idea. 1376 01:21:23,587 --> 01:21:25,055 Allen, you go back to your store 1377 01:21:25,214 --> 01:21:26,557 and bring as many swords as you can carry. 1378 01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:28,809 - Okay. 1379 01:21:30,427 --> 01:21:32,680 You're all gonna die in there! 1380 01:21:40,437 --> 01:21:42,189 Here you go, guys. As many as I could muster. 1381 01:21:42,356 --> 01:21:43,983 Thanks so much, Allen. These are great. 1382 01:21:44,149 --> 01:21:45,321 Oh, you're welcome. You're welcome. 1383 01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:47,031 Anything for you. I am a team player. 1384 01:21:47,194 --> 01:21:49,367 - Oh. This one's nice. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 1385 01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:50,907 That's one of my favorite ones. 1386 01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:53,167 I personally sharpened that one... aah! 1387 01:21:55,077 --> 01:21:57,296 That's for betraying us, Allen! 1388 01:21:57,454 --> 01:22:00,333 - Nice. - Thanks, man. 1389 01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:01,967 You know this is it. 1390 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:05,179 I know. 1391 01:22:05,337 --> 01:22:08,261 I gotta say it's been one hell of a ride. 1392 01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:11,303 - To Dobis. - To Dobis. 1393 01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:16,057 Katie, I have something to say to you now. 1394 01:22:22,312 --> 01:22:23,689 You know you're the love of my life, right? 1395 01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:25,950 Yeah. 1396 01:22:26,108 --> 01:22:28,782 Ever since I met you, I wanted to consummate that love. 1397 01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:32,369 I wanted to go deep inside you without a condom 1398 01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:34,954 and explode in your canal. Psssh. 1399 01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:37,745 Grow a little baby up in there. 1400 01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:40,710 Start a family. 1401 01:22:40,873 --> 01:22:43,296 So I have to ask you this one important question. 1402 01:22:49,006 --> 01:22:50,599 Will you marry me? 1403 01:22:50,757 --> 01:22:52,555 Hey, Eric, where'd you get that big diamond? 1404 01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:55,267 I got it on the "Diamond Jim" set. I got tons of them. 1405 01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:56,806 Oh, yeah, I got a ton of them diamonds, too. 1406 01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:59,316 I got, like, a billion dollars' worth of them. 1407 01:23:01,435 --> 01:23:03,563 Will you make me the happiest man on earth? 1408 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:06,573 - Yes, I do. 1409 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:09,360 - Katie! - No. 1410 01:23:09,526 --> 01:23:11,153 Nice shooting, Tommy. 1411 01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:13,322 Really, really good. 1412 01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:15,241 My love. 1413 01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,000 No. 1414 01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:26,009 Schlaaang! 1415 01:23:26,168 --> 01:23:27,795 Eric. 1416 01:23:30,297 --> 01:23:31,389 We doing this? 1417 01:23:31,548 --> 01:23:33,516 Hells, yeah. 1418 01:23:33,675 --> 01:23:35,928 Ah, shit, come on. 1419 01:23:43,519 --> 01:23:45,647 Take them out! 1420 01:24:01,203 --> 01:24:03,752 Okay, listen, I need you to do something for me. 1421 01:24:03,914 --> 01:24:05,882 It's not going to be easy, but I know you can do it 1422 01:24:06,041 --> 01:24:07,384 'cause you're my little boy. 1423 01:24:10,337 --> 01:24:12,180 You're the best son I ever had. 1424 01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:15,384 Hey, Schlaaang! 1425 01:24:18,470 --> 01:24:20,063 Shoot the kid! 1426 01:25:20,657 --> 01:25:22,079 We did it. 1427 01:25:22,242 --> 01:25:23,915 We did it, buddy. 1428 01:25:24,077 --> 01:25:26,751 We really did it. 1429 01:26:05,410 --> 01:26:06,753 Well, what did you think? 1430 01:26:06,912 --> 01:26:11,008 As Steven Spielberg, I approve of this movie. 1431 01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:14,921 And let me say this is the greatest film of all time. 1432 01:26:15,087 --> 01:26:17,761 - Yeah. - Let's celebrate. 1433 01:26:20,967 --> 01:26:22,344 Yay! 1434 01:27:46,261 --> 01:27:51,017 Shrim! 1435 01:27:51,183 --> 01:27:53,106 We did it. You understand me? We fucking did it! 1436 01:28:01,485 --> 01:28:04,489 Tim and Eric have taken my part away from me 1437 01:28:04,654 --> 01:28:06,327 like Garry Marshall did to me 1438 01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:08,458 back with "Laverne and Shirley" and "Happy Days" 1439 01:28:08,617 --> 01:28:10,494 when they chose Robin Williams over me. 1440 01:28:15,457 --> 01:28:17,585 Hi. We're Tim and Eric. I'm Tim Heidecker. 1441 01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:20,220 Hi. I'm Eric Wareheimer, and this movie... 1442 01:28:20,378 --> 01:28:23,257 - Eric Wareheim. - Hi. My name is Eric Wareheim. 1443 01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:24,766 This is our billion dollar movie. 1444 01:28:24,925 --> 01:28:26,427 Thanks so much for watching. 1445 01:28:26,593 --> 01:28:28,266 I'm proud of the film. I'm so proud of you, buddy. 1446 01:28:28,428 --> 01:28:30,305 He's my best friend, and I love him so much. 1447 01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:32,349 I'm also proud of it as well as you... 1448 01:28:32,516 --> 01:28:34,268 of you. 1449 01:28:34,434 --> 01:28:36,107 And... 1450 01:28:37,813 --> 01:28:39,690 roll the credits. 1451 01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:44,201 Okay. 1452 01:28:44,361 --> 01:28:45,863 Roll credits. 1453 01:32:58,531 --> 01:32:59,703 You guys good? 1454 01:32:59,866 --> 01:33:02,710 Great. Thanks. Good for me. 1455 01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:04,041 Oh, hi. 1456 01:33:04,204 --> 01:33:05,581 I'm Michael Gross. 1457 01:33:05,747 --> 01:33:08,626 If you would like me to narrate your life story, 1458 01:33:08,792 --> 01:33:10,544 please contact me at... 1459 01:33:18,718 --> 01:33:21,562 ...and someone from my staff will get back to you. 1460 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:23,064 You have a good day.