1
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:54,395
You scored yourself
a nice corner. Good job.

2
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,559
Hi. I'm Maura Ellis.

3
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,694
I'm not part of a religious
group or anything.

4
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,831
I'm just a nurse who likes to
give back on her days off.

5
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,233
You know, when you're
living outdoors,

6
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,867
skin cancer is a real concern.

7
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,412
So I got you some sunscreen,

8
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,243
and you, my friend,
have some irregular moles.

9
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,374
You're a very friendly person.

10
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,680
Wanna come to my house
and take a shower?

11
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,118
Maybe make a list of goals?

12
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,552
Oh, I have a girlfriend.

13
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,750
Great. It's important to have a
lady out there in the street.

14
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,417
What do you call it,
a road bitch or something?

15
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,586
Her name's Karen.

16
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,630
Your little mama?
Your street wife?

17
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,789
Anyway,

18
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,230
I'm pretty good with sayings,

19
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:32,464
so I make these cards for my sister,
but I think maybe you could use one.

20
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,640
Without the dark night, we would
never see the bright stars.

21
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,302
<i>Is this from Twilight?</i>

22
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,398
No, I made it up.

23
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,773
Mmm, no, you didn't.

24
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,072
Yeah, I did.

25
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,238
See you later.

26
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,037
Wait.

27
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,378
Wait a minute.

28
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:46,610
Hey!

29
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,913
You're not homeless?

30
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,479
You were on a roll.

31
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,919
Well, give me back the sunscreen

32
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:53,117
so I can give it
to an actual homeless person!

33
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,214
Like this lady.

34
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:57,089
Fuck off! I'm the manager here.

35
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,223
0 for 2.

36
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,667
Polenta! Come get your dinner.

37
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,237
Mom?

38
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,434
Hi. Can you hear me'?

39
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,636
<i>Hiya, kid.
What are you up to today?</i>

40
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,304
Dad, come in front of the
camera so I can see you.

41
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,245
<i>How are things
at the hospital, honey?</i>

42
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,477
<i>We heard that Atlanta
had a terrible storm.</i>

43
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,847
<i>Garage sale. Okay.</i>

44
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:24,252
Can you guys both sit in front
of the camera when you talk

45
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,450
so that I can see you and
hear you at the same time?

46
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,959
<i>We don? Get this Skype crap.
There's nothing to get.</i>

47
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,689
Maura,

48
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,491
<i>we have some news.</i>

49
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,327
<i>Maura, we have some news.</i>

50
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,266
- Oh, my God. Who's sick?
- Oh, for cry-eye, Maura.

51
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,929
<i>Relax!</i>

52
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,464
<i>We decided</i>

53
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,604
<i>to sell the house.</i>

54
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,841
Yeah, okay. Funny joke.
What's the news?

55
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,506
<i>We are. We're selling it.</i>

56
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,016
The one we grew up in?

57
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,312
Are you selling it
to each other?

58
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:55,648
<i>No, honey.</i>

59
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,976
Why would you do that? We don't want it anymore.

60
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,115
It's too big. Look,
if this is some kind

61
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,682
of financial thing, I can
help you out with money.

62
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:02,726
<i>No, honey.</i>

63
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:06,195
<i>All we need you to do is to
come and clean out your bedroom</i>

64
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:07,856
<i>because it's a bottomless pit.</i>

65
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,867
Okay. I can come. Just don't
make a move until I get there.

66
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,698
Does Kate know about this?

67
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,295
We haven'! Told her yet.

68
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,807
<i>You two take news
so differently.</i>

69
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,002
<i>We wondered if maybe</i>

70
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:20,973
<i>you should tell hen.</i>

71
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,571
<i>Because we don? Want to.</i>

72
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,206
Why do I always
have to be the one?

73
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:27,844
Oh, shit.

74
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,218
I think you guys froze.
Hold on. Can you hear me?

75
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,653
Hello?

76
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,891
You're blinking.
You're fake freezing.

77
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:38,326
Unbelievable. Just call her.
You're her parents.

78
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,892
Dad! Let it go.

79
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,238
See, where most stylists
blow it is they color your hair

80
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,838
but they leave your Santa eyebrows.
Hmm.

81
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,077
They half-ass it,
but I'm a perfectionist.

82
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,208
Thank you.

83
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,914
So why are we covering
this gray today, Phil?

84
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:08,516
Well, I have a date with an engaging
new gal, somewhat younger than me.

85
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,028
Good for you, because ladies
your age are gross, right?

86
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,122
Well, I just hope it looks natural.
It smells very strong.

87
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,758
No. It's super gentle.
They use it on pageant babies.

88
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,393
Mom! I'm home!

89
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,232
My daughter's home! She has
been gone half the summer.

90
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,866
I'll be right back. If it feels
like it's burning, it's working.

91
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,202
Wow!

92
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,876
You have been gone for so long!
Did you get taller?

93
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,579
I've only been gone a month, and I
stopped growing a long time ago.

94
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,486
Um, is this supposed
to be getting warm?

95
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,578
Let it cook, Phil.

96
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,452
Um...

97
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,753
Mom?

98
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,055
Why are you doing some guy's
hair in the bathroom?

99
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,597
P.S. this does not
feel right. Hello.

100
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956
Why aren't you
doing it in a salon?

101
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,399
Please don't tell me
you quit your job again.

102
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,993
I didn't quit! All right.

103
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,970
You know that dipshit lady
on Channel Eleven

104
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,938
who does the segments
where she tries new things?

105
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,238
Yeah. Go on.
Well, she wanted bangs,

106
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,836
but then afterwards she decided
that she didn't want bangs.

107
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,505
And my manager
started bitching me out,

108
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,413
so I shoved him and his American
Girl Doll glasses broke.

109
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,678
Okay. So you got fired.

110
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,414
Why do you keep doing this, Mom?

111
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,581
You wanna have a cereal party?

112
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:15,923
No, I don't. I want you to be
responsible so that I don't have to be.

113
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,154
It is too stressful

114
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,629
sleeping with you on a pull-out
couch in your friend's dining room.

115
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,530
She is not my friend.
She was our bug man.

116
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,159
I need to learn
to be more irresponsible

117
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,432
otherwise I'm going to be
hazed so bad in college.

118
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,872
It's bubbling like Pop Rocks.

119
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,273
I'm gonna stay at Annie's house again.
All right.

120
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,676
Okay, that's a lie because Annie
is in Italy with her family.

121
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:35,872
I know how to use Facebook.

122
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,711
I will keep sending you pictures
so that you know that I'm safe.

123
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,012
No. You cannot just leave again
and not tell me where you are.

124
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,109
You know why I don't tell
you where I'm going?

125
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,282
Because you'll show up there and you'll
make a big scene like a hothead!

126
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,020
I am not a hothead! I am brassy.

127
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,358
I love you, Mom, but your life
is just too chaotic right now.

128
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,056
Kate!

129
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,702
Is this your waxing strip?

130
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,896
I don't know, Dana.
It must be a client's.

131
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,405
My dog had this in his feces.

132
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,906
And before I could stop him

133
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,376
he ate the poop with the
waxing strip in it again.

134
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,847
Okay. And then he threw that up.

135
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,816
You know how many times a day
I kiss that dog on the mouth?

136
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,317
An unsettling amount.

137
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,354
Now when I kiss him,

138
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,719
I'm gonna picture that he ate

139
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,155
some stranger's pubes.

140
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,159
And it's gonna affect
my relationship with him.

141
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,491
Oh, boy.

142
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,996
All right. Let's bring this
in for a landing, Dana.

143
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,828
You get out of here by tomorrow.

144
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,232
You're done!

145
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,530
Where the hell am I gonna go?

146
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,663
You wanna explain that
to my daughter?

147
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,531
Haley?

148
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:37,734
Shit.

149
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,671
Haley?

150
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,042
Haley!

151
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,713
Okay, Haley, just come back up,
and we will talk about this.

152
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:47,843
Hey, it's me.

153
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,616
Hello? This is very
unprofessional.

154
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,246
Hey. I can't talk right now.

155
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,722
Real quick. Mom and Dad called.

156
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,054
Ugh, what now?

157
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,685
What's up? Everything all right?

158
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,923
No, I don't need lotion in there.

159
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,756
Yeah, you do need lotion
in there.

160
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,698
Hey, here's something fun.

161
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,737
Mom and Dad
want us to come down.

162
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,432
<i>They need us to clear out
some of our old bedroom stuff.</i>

163
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,371
Why? They have other rooms.

164
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,876
<i>I don't know. Maybe
they wanna get a treadmill.</i>

165
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,540
A treadmill? Morn can't
even sit right on a couch.

166
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,283
I'm just gonna shape them real quick.
All right.

167
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,288
Yeah, no. I can't afford to
come to Orlando right now.

168
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,255
Well, I'll send you money
for the flight.

169
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,887
Come to Orlando.
Ellis sisters reunion.

170
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,727
<i>Corning home always makes
things better.</i>

171
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,559
That's actually
a really good idea.

172
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,431
Tell me the truth.

173
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,401
<i>Next stop, Orlando Airport.
Thank you for riding Greyhound.</i>

174
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,075
<i>Please
maintain contact with your baggage.</i>

175
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,084
<i>All unattended baggage
will be confiscated.</i>

176
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:58,846
Hey. Could I get
a small glass of tequila?

177
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,425
Like a shot of tequila?

178
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,121
Yeah, a shot.
Just keeping it classy.

179
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,288
Paging Mr. Herman.

180
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,956
Oh, Mr. Pee-wee Herman!

181
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,692
Look at you. Hi!

182
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,962
Look at you. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

183
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,527
What's going on? Nothing.

184
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,163
Wow, turn it around. This is soft.

185
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,605
You look great. No.

186
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,940
I look like a dead deer
bloated on the highway.

187
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,981
No. You look like a pretty
deer who's still alive.

188
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,707
Mmm. But also,
just recently hit.

189
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,545
Your hair is long!
It's so mermaid-y.

190
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:32,179
Oh, I got a whole intricate sewn-in
system under there, but it's human.

191
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,951
Okay, well, you have to be
careful when you get fake hair

192
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,824
because some countries give their
young girls chicken hormones

193
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,157
and make them grow it in
their basements.

194
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,358
Do they get paid?
Because I would do that.

195
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,799
Hey, honey. I'm sure
you're out having fun

196
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:50,203
but I'm dying to see that
photo you were gonna send me.

197
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:54,073
She's having such a great summer,
but I think she's getting homesick.

198
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,477
I'm sure she misses you.
I miss her.

199
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,982
Like, in my body.

200
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,743
Mmm. She'll be back soon.

201
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,149
What's your deal?
Been doing anything fun?

202
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,053
Yeah. Rescue dogs
have so many hidden skills.

203
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,854
I've been teaching Polenta
how to smell diabetes.

204
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,386
You've been divorced
for two years.

205
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,658
You should at least be going to
Chili's with your work friends

206
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,756
or some such basic shit,

207
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,392
instead of spending the night on
Skype dates with Mom and Dad.

208
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,402
I've been having a lot of fun.

209
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,336
I've been teaching myself
how to make cheese.

210
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:26,233
I'm fine. I'm really good.
I'm real good.

211
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:29,074
What about you? Do you have
a job or a place to live?

212
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,581
I got an idea that's gonna solve
everything. Haley's gonna flip.

213
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,945
What's your idea?

214
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,282
I think we should move down here and
live with Mom and Dad for a while.

215
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,788
Give a little
bit of <i>heart</i> and sou!

216
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,419
<i>Give a little hi!
Of love in grow.</i>

217
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,055
<i>Give</i> a <i>little bit
of heart and soul...</i>

218
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:02,043
Holy Moses with his balls out.

219
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,275
Is that Kate Ellis
I'm looking at?

220
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,371
Maybe.

221
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,213
Hey, look at you.

222
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,652
Come on, Dave Blackmon! I was
a senior, you were a junior.

223
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:13,883
I lingered back so we could
be seniors together?

224
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,460
You were my first non-hand
I ever did it with.

225
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,826
Oh, my God. Yes.
I swallowed your earring.

226
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:21,398
That was a true honor.

227
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,831
Aw, thank you. Thank you.

228
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,234
Wow. Somebody told me you died.

229
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,601
That's crazy. That's the second
person that's said that to me.

230
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,638
Hmm, you should check it out.

231
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,571
You know, I'm a known
alcoholic in this area

232
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,100
but I still talk about those Ellis
Island parties, baby.

233
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,305
Such good times, right?

234
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:37,745
Yeah. You scaling that
fireplace with them heels?

235
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,579
Oh, man. That was
a beautiful sight, baby.

236
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,779
And who's this fine-ass female?

237
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:46,114
Hi, Dave. I'm Maura,
Kate's younger sister.

238
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,456
I held your mullet back one time
when you were vomiting at our party

239
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,122
so you wouldn't impale your
face on our cactus garden.

240
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,189
No. Shit. Those
were fun times, though, huh?

241
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,962
Yeah. You know, in a way.

242
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,800
You sure bloomed
into a juicy peach, holy...

243
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,838
Thank you, Dave.

244
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,305
So is this your liquor store?

245
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,276
Oh, you know, I got some stock,
I got some handshake options.

246
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,674
Because you heard
what happened, right?

247
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,179
My mobile townhouse
got ate by a sinkhole.

248
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,874
No. Eaten by a sinkhole?

249
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,008
Mmm-hmm.
That is a Florida heartbreak.

250
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,951
Wow, the Ellis sisters, man. What
a sandwich that would be, huh?

251
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,684
If I could tell my friends that
that went down-Oh, man.

252
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:20,780
What do you think?

253
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,824
Who? Oh...

254
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:25,395
Just putting it out there. Listen,
life is about putting it out there.

255
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:26,657
And then swatting it away.
Isn't it?

256
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:29,131
Sometimes it stays out there.
Where you put it.

257
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,532
And then sometimes it goes
right into the trash.

258
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,159
So that's, like, a no.
I understand.

259
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,465
I think we should go.
Great to see you, Dave.

260
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,869
Just putting it out there.
Yeah, okay.

261
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,531
Nice to see you, man.
I'm glad you're alive.

262
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,870
Thank you.
You look, uh, weathered.

263
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,740
You look like
underpass weathered.

264
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,335
Yeah. Thank you, I guess. Yeah.

265
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:46,540
So listen, is there, like, um, friends
and family discount at this place?

266
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,017
Oh, yeah. Two finger discount.

267
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,254
Oh...

268
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,224
That made my legs feel weird.
Just unbridled filth.

269
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,427
Gross! Hey, you know how it is.

270
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,393
Bye, Dave! Whoo!

271
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,828
The party just got back
to O-Town!

272
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,525
Okay!

273
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,499
It's cicada season,
so keep your mouth shut. Whoo!

274
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,366
Are you ready
for this jelly, Whorelando?

275
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,740
Yeah!

276
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,446
Hey!

277
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,610
Ellis sisters in the house!

278
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,710
Hey!

279
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,255
Oh, sweaty man.
We have to flirt.

280
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,120
Slow it down for a groove-by.

281
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,084
Hey.

282
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,423
What urp? Hey.

283
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,860
Burying your wife?

284
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,762
- Um...
- Can I ask you something?

285
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,527
My sister and I... Hey.

286
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,594
Are busy professionals,
looking for an "yard artisan"

287
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,104
to do some work on our bushes?

288
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,607
You are working.
We will not bother you. Sorry.

289
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:45,869
Jump on my bush joke.

290
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,538
I just made that up!
Put another Jenga on it.

291
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:54,442
I bet working on other people's bushes
really makes you wanna whack your weeds.

292
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,575
That was dirtier than I thought.

293
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,053
I'm sorry. That got
dirty really fast.

294
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,612
Don't apologize, I like that.

295
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,713
I actually own this house.

296
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:01,883
You live here with your wife?

297
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,052
Your wife's a bitch
for not helping you.

298
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,288
Uh, I...

299
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,331
I'm single, actually. Oh'

300
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,956
Well, we're not
making fun of you.

301
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,467
We're flirting with you,
because you're really sweaty.

302
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,734
I'm a solid guy. I don't mind
being the butt of your jokes.

303
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,241
Good. You will be the butt of our
jokes, because your butt is no joke.

304
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,299
<i>Okay.</i>

305
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,073
I'm not laughing at that butt.
I'll laugh with your butt.

306
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,172
I'm gonna laugh in that butt.

307
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,305
I'm gonna laugh.

308
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,681
I'm gonna... I love to...

309
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:28,980
My butt's funny, too,

310
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:32,318
but your butt is really serious.

311
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,416
Your butt is like
an hour-long drama.

312
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,018
Your butt's as serious
as The Wire.

313
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,030
I mean, I can't wait
to watch your butt on DVD.

314
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,464
I'm gonna binge-watch
your butt when I have the flu.

315
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,298
Time to drive away. Great.

316
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,701
Yeah, um, so...

317
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,602
You ever buy Poppin' Fresh Dough?
Yeah.

318
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,175
- Remember the sound it makes?
- Yeah.

319
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,102
- And that's how you do it.
- Oh, my God.

320
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:11,125
What the hell is a sold sign
doing on our front yard?

321
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,788
Sold?

322
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,024
No!

323
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,566
They talked about
putting it on the market.

324
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,397
Did you know about this
and not tell me'?

325
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,027
Why don't people tell me things?

326
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,663
They spoke to me about it,
and we were considering it.

327
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:26,233
They fucking sold our fucking
childhood fucking home.

328
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,372
I can't believe they did this
without consulting me.

329
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:31,574
This home should have
been passed on.

330
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,208
I'll talk them out of it. It's okay.
It's not okay!

331
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:37,516
Because my great idea
just got fucked in the a-hole!

332
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,554
Welcome to my life!

333
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,058
Damn it. Shit!

334
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:46,392
Fuck! Shit, fuck!

335
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,863
Balls!

336
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:01,940
What the...

337
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,945
Totally shady.

338
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,453
Where are the curtains
with the fruit on them?

339
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,683
She was gonna give
all this stuff away?

340
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,026
I'm sorry,
I'm keeping this colander.

341
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,890
Heartless.

342
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,430
Where's the fucking
manatee lamp I made?

343
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,367
I'm sorry.

344
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,533
This was not our doing.

345
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,599
They were gonna give away
the foldy yardstick?

346
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:32,903
Absolutely hell no.

347
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:36,373
Where in the hell
are Mom's tiny, ceramic shoes?

348
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,944
This is just so not okay.

349
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:43,077
So now some asshole family gets
to play in our sister tree?

350
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,143
Fuck no.

351
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,154
Where are our parents?

352
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,488
This nursing home better not
smell urine-y, like a death-cafeteria.

353
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,086
It's not a nursing home,
it's an adult community.

354
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,755
Ifs called Village Du Soleil,

355
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,459
which in French means
"in the sun."

356
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,435
Old people aren't supposed
to be in the sun! So stupid.

357
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,938
Yeah, Mom and Dad,
eat a pyramid of dicks.

358
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,803
Sit on a bunch of pinecones.

359
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,466
If I see Mom in one of those
one-chair beauty shops,

360
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,567
I will full-out BJ
a hot curling iron.

361
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:12,138
Rowdy seniors and booze by a lake?
That's a recipe for disaster.

362
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,979
If they have shower chairs
at this granny farm,

363
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,916
I will slit my throat
and put it on YouTube.

364
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,586
You failed to mention your plan.

365
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,148
Why didn't you tell me
that you sold the house?

366
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,250
Because we knew you'd try
to talk us out of it.

367
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,522
I mean, you were pushy kids.

368
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,598
You're selling your clocks,
by the way?

369
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,155
What, are you secretly dying?

370
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,667
No, I'm not dying.
I'm just sick of winding them.

371
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,100
Hey, I want Pop-Pop's
grandfather clock.

372
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,261
Where are you going to keep it?
In your purse?

373
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:38,501
The things in that house
meant something to us.

374
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:43,678
Each one of those objects is a puzzle
piece in the story of our lives.

375
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,976
We just don't want
clutter anymore.

376
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,608
Then what the fuck is this?

377
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,846
Clutter? You don't want clutter?

378
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,114
Clutter has a name.

379
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,451
And it's Pogee,
the Christmas Tree Elf.

380
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,620
You take him. We're gonna
get a tabletop tree.

381
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,660
Honestly...
We can't have Christmas here!

382
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,497
It feels good to purge.

383
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,962
And we downloaded
all our pictures!

384
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,803
You threw away
our baby pictures?

385
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,171
No!

386
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:15,212
We sold them to the gay
man at the flea market

387
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,338
who turns them into funny cards.

388
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:21,249
And your father
put them on this.

389
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,745
So I just stick this
up my vagina

390
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,345
and then I can see the pictures?

391
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:27,254
Oh, Katherine Anne. Stop. What'?

392
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:30,259
She's being funny,
because this is so crazy.

393
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:33,887
What I think we all need
to do is go to lunch.

394
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:37,900
And then we can discuss if selling
the house <i>is</i> the best plan for us.

395
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,436
"Us" is happy
with the decision. Mmm?

396
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,233
You two go whoop it up.

397
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,433
No, don't go whoop it up.
It's all spiffed out.

398
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:47,670
It needs to stay that way
for the inspection on Monday.

399
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,333
Honestly... We
can't have Christmas here!

400
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:53,609
I can't go to the bathroom at restaurants.
You know that.

401
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,686
All right, all right.
I understand.

402
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,778
If she's gonna poop at the house,
I wanna poop at the house.

403
00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,858
Yeah... All rig ht, you can
both poop at the house.

404
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,017
I like Arby's.

405
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,960
You know, let's just all agree
that this is a bad idea.

406
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:08,191
Listen to me. We're gonna take
you to dinner tomorrow night.

407
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:11,262
Not gonna spend one last
night together in the house?

408
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,564
Okay, I think... Maura, cool it.

409
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,135
It's a done deal.

410
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,237
Done.

411
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,610
I got lured down here for this?

412
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,546
I don't clean up after myself anymore.
I'm an adult.

413
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,647
This is gonna be deeply painful.

414
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,128
Oh, boy.

415
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,778
Holy shit.

416
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,871
Gimme!

417
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,948
Ooh, listen to this.

418
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,010
"I got in a wreck
because I was admiring"

419
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,680
"the shoulder hickey
that Brett gave me"

420
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,020
"and got t-boned
by a parked car."

421
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:45,527
"Brett came over to comfort me
and I'm so obsessed with him."

422
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,291
"His face smells like Sea Breeze"

423
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,527
"and his hair is so long
that when I make outwith him"

424
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,296
"I pretend it's a scarf."

425
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,860
"P.S. I might be pregnant."

426
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,565
That shit is juicy. Read yours.

427
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,039
<i>Okay.</i>

428
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:04,410
"I changed the grit
on my rock tumbler today."

429
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,813
"The amethyst
is really shaping up."

430
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,580
"I'm gonna mount it
in a bolo tie for Dylan."

431
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:13,179
"He got a new neck brace to
stretch his melting vertebrae."

432
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,354
"He loved his birthday card."

433
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,488
"Especially how I burnt
the edges of the scroll."

434
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,829
"P.S. Crafting heals."

435
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:26,359
Huh.

436
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:31,937
"Last night at the party,
I danced so hard my bra was soaking wet."

437
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:36,241
"Jeff and I were flirting, and then
he said, 'Let me show you something.'"

438
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,612
"So we went to my room,
and guess what he showed me?"

439
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,844
"A ween that is still
wearing its hat."

440
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,380
<i>Mmm. Your mm.</i>

441
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:46,048
Wow. How many times did you
have sex in this house?

442
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,523
You should have had sex here.

443
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,924
Having sex in your childhood
bedroom is a rite of passage.

444
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:54,361
You chose the party mom role
to protect yourself from fun.

445
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,626
No! I was not afraid of fun.

446
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:56,961
Here, check this out.

447
00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:59,035
"Happy birthday to me."

448
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,628
"My party was amazing.
I got what I asked for."

449
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:04,537
"I am now a sponsor
of a child in Ecuador."

450
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:09,278
"I was the designated driver because I
could tell no one else wanted to be."

451
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:12,773
"My favorite birthday gift was
knowing everyone got home safe."

452
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,716
<i>"Last night was so
fun</i> I <i>can't even talk about it.</i>"

453
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:19,052
"There are no, period,
words, period."

454
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,920
Man, I couldn't even
talk about it!

455
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,927
"I took my deaf
friend to the Sheila E. Concert"

456
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,929
"so she could really
feel the music."

457
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,328
"She was <i>so</i> grateful."

458
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,593
"I didn't smoke pot because I was afraid
there wasn't enough for everyone..."

459
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:31,657
Oh, come on.

460
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:33,634
I miss those goddamn glory days.

461
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,172
Well, clearly'
we had different experiences.

462
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,243
Oh, here's a play-by-play
of a Jerry Lewis telethon.

463
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,472
Here's a chart of all
the penises I ever saw.

464
00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:44,605
Oh, good. Here's a quote
from Helen Keller.

465
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:47,514
Here's really incorrect information
about how to put a IUD in.

466
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:48,914
Here's a list of my houseplants.

467
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,749
Put it in my butt. Ew.

468
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,350
I swear I was having fun.

469
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:57,291
I guess I was just making sure
the house didn't get destroyed.

470
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,659
It's a damn shame that you
never had your night here.

471
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:05,760
We cannot have a party.

472
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,329
A party?

473
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:09,667
That's a great idea. No.

474
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:12,174
You can't avoid putting
yourself out there forever!

475
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,437
You're gonna dry up
like a granny apple doll.

476
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,638
The house is sold.

477
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:17,809
No, it's networking.

478
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,543
Kate! Don't make that face.

479
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:23,283
Do not work me like this! I hate
it when you make me the bummer.

480
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:28,486
My life is super shitty right now.
I need to feel happy again.

481
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,487
Ah...

482
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,359
Fine. Let's just brush
our remaining teeth

483
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:37,195
and call it a sad, hard day
for two dusty old twats.

484
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,290
Because we're done.

485
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:51,176
Also? P.S. It would be such an easy way for
you to pop your post-divorce flirt cherry.

486
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,649
I would love
to see you let it rip.

487
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,050
You're such a fun
as shit little sister.

488
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:58,052
I really am so fun.

489
00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:01,248
I shouldn't keep that to myself.
No, you shouldn't!

490
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,092
I think maybe we should do it.

491
00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:11,901
Can't hear you.

492
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,493
I said maybe
we should have a party.

493
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,266
Say what I wanna hear, girl!

494
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:17,170
Oh, my God. I don't know!

495
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,436
- Okay, let's do it.
- Let's have a party!

496
00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:24,437
Oh, and you can invite
that cute neighbor guy

497
00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:26,243
and you can finally have sex
in your old, crappo bed!

498
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:27,282
Yeah, but he's younger than me.

499
00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:29,182
Yeah, but he's taller than you,
and that's all that matters.

500
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,687
Oh, my God. I need this
night to reset myself!

501
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,354
We are having a party!

502
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,770
How'd you sleep?

503
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,542
I dreamt I had no job
and no place to live.

504
00:23:58,604 --> 00:23:59,639
Oh, wait.

505
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:01,945
Got a picture from Haley.

506
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,088
Well, Her friend has a fancy-ass
fireplace in her house.

507
00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:07,818
No, it's one of those
Cosi Sandwich Shops.

508
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,927
Oh. Who the crap is that'?

509
00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:15,228
Are those the new owners?

510
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,425
- Ew. Fuck my life.
- Gross!

511
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:19,469
I want the front
yard to be open-concept.

512
00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:21,078
That old tree has gotta go.

513
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:25,139
Oh, you just try to take down our
sister tree, you stupid stinkbug!

514
00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:27,005
I can smell that bitch's
hairspray from here.

515
00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:30,103
No, they can't fucking roll in
here like Jehovah's Witnesses!

516
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:31,289
Rude.

517
00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:34,173
What?

518
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,310
Can we help you? Yes.

519
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,979
Our secretary didn't tell us
that we had an appointment.

520
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,615
Oh, I'm Patrick Campbell.
This is Jane and Henry Geernt.

521
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,183
They' re relocating from New
York City and buying this house.

522
00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:46,593
So, are you their interpreter?

523
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,996
If so, please tell them
hello for us.

524
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:51,830
They just want to see what these
blues look like on the sun porch.

525
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:53,757
What do you mean? Sun porch?
Mmm-hmm.

526
00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:55,770
Are you even old enough
to get a mortgage?

527
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,308
Oh, yes. But we're
buying it with cash.

528
00:24:58,364 --> 00:25:01,675
You're painting
the sun porch? No.

529
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:04,270
It's a little "country" for us.

530
00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:08,683
Can you let your parents know that if
things like this aren't fixed by Monday,

531
00:25:08,774 --> 00:25:11,277
we're gonna have a real issue
following through with the sale.

532
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:13,986
Yeah. That won't be okay.

533
00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:15,150
I got a question.

534
00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:18,491
What percentage of your ward
robe is dry clean only?

535
00:25:18,784 --> 00:25:19,728
Seventy-eight?

536
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,193
You guys seem like
you wear a lot of linen.

537
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:24,563
What kind of hot moron
paints a sun porch?

538
00:25:24,656 --> 00:25:27,193
Why don't you just put a toilet in
the living room and call it a day?

539
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,293
Crazy!

540
00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:29,867
Is that dress from Target?

541
00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:32,533
Um, no... 'Cause I've seen
one like it at Target.

542
00:25:32,631 --> 00:25:33,803
I've never been there before.

543
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:35,573
You know there was
a murder here, right?

544
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,408
No. What? I don't.

545
00:25:37,503 --> 00:25:38,880
Major cult stuff. Yeah.

546
00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,848
What, like a mass murder?

547
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:43,011
Seven? Okay.

548
00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:44,247
Seven sets of twins.

549
00:25:44,343 --> 00:25:46,220
So, 14. I'm sorry. What?

550
00:25:46,311 --> 00:25:47,631
You know
your cousin's gay, right?

551
00:25:47,679 --> 00:25:49,239
That's not my cousin.
That's my husband.

552
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:50,384
That's your husband?

553
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:53,042
You're gonna have some surprising
shit go down in about 10 years.

554
00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:55,893
You ever feel like maybe
you peaked too soon?

555
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:58,434
No, I don't.
'Cause ifs a long life.

556
00:25:58,524 --> 00:26:02,028
And I would hate to see you out
there blowing hobos at 40.

557
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:03,105
Thank you.

558
00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:04,230
Blue?

559
00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:06,741
What would possess a person
to paint stained wood blue?

560
00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:08,573
What, were you raised
on a tugboat?

561
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:12,080
I'll drop off the paint later.
Unless you'll be day-napping.

562
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:14,845
We sleep with our eyes
open, like sharks.

563
00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:20,879
Bye! Nice to meet you!

564
00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:22,050
Smell you later.

565
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:24,258
What kind
of last name is Geernt?

566
00:26:24,349 --> 00:26:26,761
Geernt. Sounds like
a queef on a yoga ball.

567
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:29,560
Yeah. More like the last sound you
hear before you shit your pants.

568
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:32,569
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

569
00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,195
Okay. Let's start
working on those invites.

570
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:49,780
Okay, let's see
who we got. Okay.

571
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:51,548
- Vicka Bastione.
- Yeah.

572
00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:55,624
No on Alex. He's always on.
It's annoying as fuck.

573
00:26:55,714 --> 00:26:58,285
I know. He breaks my heart.
He wants to be funny, though.

574
00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:00,226
Yeah, well, people in hell
want ice water, too.

575
00:27:00,886 --> 00:27:04,595
Dave. I did him because he
disgusted me in a sexy way.

576
00:27:04,990 --> 00:27:07,561
Short Hispanic guys always
acted like I was Xena.

577
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,733
I bet he has, like,
50 DUls right now.

578
00:27:10,496 --> 00:27:13,238
Brinda is a hard no.

579
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:15,471
That monster and her minions
are not coming.

580
00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:16,637
Why is she a monster?

581
00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:18,237
She knows what she did.

582
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,304
Okay. Rob and Liz!

583
00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:21,941
They used to have sex
in the weirdest places.

584
00:27:22,007 --> 00:27:24,087
He took her from behind
in line at graduation.

585
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:26,915
They could use a party.
They are terminally suburban.

586
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,950
Kelly. That bitch is fun.

587
00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:30,186
Yeah. Kelly is fun!

588
00:27:30,282 --> 00:27:31,283
Kelly is fun.

589
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:42,432
So, we should go!
We have so much to do.

590
00:27:42,528 --> 00:27:44,508
You have to invite that cute
guy from down the street.

591
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:47,770
Mmm. Maybe.
I don't know. We'll see.

592
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,856
Have a great day, Fran.

593
00:28:04,116 --> 00:28:06,357
Oh, my God. It's Brinda.

594
00:28:06,451 --> 00:28:07,623
Ugh...

595
00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:10,165
Brinda always looks like she has
a fart coming out sideways.

596
00:28:10,222 --> 00:28:14,693
I feel bad that we didn't invite her. I
hate it when people aren't included.

597
00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:16,295
Oh, God. What if she asks
us to come to the party?

598
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:17,999
I'm not gonna be able
to say no to her face.

599
00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:20,065
You know I can't reject people.
I have a dog with one eye.

600
00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:21,542
Here she comes. She's coming close.
She's right here.

601
00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:22,953
She's almost here.
She's here now.

602
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:25,211
Hey, Brinda. What up'?

603
00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:27,250
Well, well, well.

604
00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:29,819
I thought I saw
the Ellis sisters.

605
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,321
Hey, Brinda.
What have you been up to?

606
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,684
Not party-wise,
just life in general.

607
00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:38,224
Not much. Just, you know,
building a career.

608
00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:43,198
Being successful and having a
really full and wonderful life.

609
00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:44,426
I'm very blessed.

610
00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:48,061
I'm sure you've seen around town, I'm
a pretty successful realtor now.

611
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,731
I'm plastered
all over the bus stops.

612
00:28:50,829 --> 00:28:52,069
Congratulations. Thank you.

613
00:28:52,164 --> 00:28:54,269
I thought you were missing. I saw
your picture on the bus stop.

614
00:28:54,366 --> 00:28:55,646
I just assumed you were missing.

615
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:58,211
And you? What are you up to'?
Nothing?

616
00:28:59,037 --> 00:29:04,783
We are on the way to a shelter
to give people this party food.

617
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:07,090
Oh, is that why you're
dressed like the homeless?

618
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:09,414
What are you buying?
Stool softener?

619
00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:11,687
No. Actually, um, Diet Coke.

620
00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:14,023
Got some Poise Pads
in there I see.

621
00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,890
Good. Little asshole cream. No.

622
00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:19,059
Don't you look great.
That's a snazzy belt.

623
00:29:19,124 --> 00:29:20,603
Oh, thank you!

624
00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:22,535
Yeah, congrats on
your wrestling championship.

625
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:24,699
It's Ralph Lauren.

626
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,538
Is that how you say it?
Uh, yeah.

627
00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:28,243
Do you get good Wi-Fi with that?

628
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:30,211
So I see you're having a party.

629
00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:31,771
I mean, we're just
kind of picking...

630
00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,406
Yep. Having a party. Yeah.

631
00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:35,577
I heard you were having a party.

632
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,621
From someone who got invited.

633
00:29:38,043 --> 00:29:40,887
You were on our list, but
you're very hard to track down.

634
00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:42,254
Are you on email?

635
00:29:42,381 --> 00:29:44,793
Uh, it's B-dot-rinda...

636
00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:47,159
That's what I did wrong.
I forgot the dot.

637
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,731
And we forgot to type it.

638
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,733
And also we didn't send it.

639
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:52,268
I must admit,

640
00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:54,429
when I heard you were having
an Ellis Island party

641
00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:56,939
I was like,
"What? What year is it?"

642
00:29:56,995 --> 00:29:59,134
It's pretty sad.

643
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:02,906
It used to hurt me when you never
invited me to any of your parties,

644
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:07,178
but I did a lot of thinking
and a little bit of prayer,

645
00:30:08,073 --> 00:30:10,246
and now I just feel
sort of bad for you two.

646
00:30:10,575 --> 00:30:12,782
You know, because it's
such a desperate event.

647
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,918
Bye.

648
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,022
You're a desperate event!

649
00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:22,189
I can still hear you!

650
00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:24,165
Good. Can you hear this?

651
00:30:24,256 --> 00:30:25,860
Suck a fucking bag of dicks!

652
00:30:25,957 --> 00:30:27,129
She can't hear that.

653
00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:29,769
Strutting around Big
Lots like it's Bloomingdale's

654
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:31,171
in her bullshit shoes.

655
00:30:31,263 --> 00:30:34,005
Real estate bitch
acting like Suze Orman.

656
00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:36,045
You know what she has?
Crabs in her eyebrows.

657
00:30:36,535 --> 00:30:38,845
Tumbleweeds
rolling across her beav.

658
00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:41,850
I am done wasting words
on that ho.

659
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,113
I'm sorry, Vicky.
Don't apologize for me.

660
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:46,612
Is Vicky your real name?

661
00:30:47,813 --> 00:30:49,292
What's your Korean name?

662
00:30:53,051 --> 00:30:54,394
Hae-Won.

663
00:30:54,486 --> 00:30:57,126
Hae-Won. What a beautiful name.
What does that mean?

664
00:30:57,456 --> 00:30:58,992
Hae-Won mean "head".

665
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:00,295
Oh.

666
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:04,498
Has-Won?
Am I saying it correctly?

667
00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:05,701
Hae-Won.

668
00:31:05,797 --> 00:31:07,242
Oh, Hae-Won.

669
00:31:07,332 --> 00:31:09,573
No. Hae-Won.

670
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:10,840
Hae-Won.

671
00:31:10,969 --> 00:31:13,973
Not Hae-Won. Hae-Won.

672
00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:16,484
Hae-Won. No. Hae-Won.

673
00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:18,245
Hae-Won. Hae-Won.

674
00:31:18,343 --> 00:31:20,846
Hae-Won. Hae-Won.

675
00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:23,222
I feel like
I'm saying it right. No?

676
00:31:23,315 --> 00:31:25,386
I'm too high. Hae-Hae-Won.

677
00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:27,186
Yes.

678
00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:29,398
It's not coming out right,
but I'll get it.

679
00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:32,230
Like, "I'm having fun at party."

680
00:31:32,324 --> 00:31:34,998
"Hey." Plus "one."

681
00:31:35,694 --> 00:31:38,402
Hey one.

682
00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:40,067
- So you like parties.
- Yes.

683
00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:41,200
Hmm.

684
00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:44,110
Your name? Oh, my name is Maura.

685
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:45,544
Maura.

686
00:31:45,704 --> 00:31:46,910
Watch me. Maura.

687
00:31:47,005 --> 00:31:48,416
Maura.

688
00:31:48,507 --> 00:31:51,044
I don't open my mouth like that.
Just, Maura.

689
00:31:51,109 --> 00:31:52,213
Maura.

690
00:31:52,344 --> 00:31:54,221
It's not Maura.

691
00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:57,050
You see the difference
in my mouth? Maura.

692
00:31:57,182 --> 00:31:58,252
Maura.

693
00:31:58,350 --> 00:31:59,761
We have different mouths.

694
00:31:59,851 --> 00:32:01,262
It's okay.

695
00:32:04,189 --> 00:32:07,966
Why do they always have to give
them American names? It's so sad.

696
00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:11,268
I bet Nail Pimp Daddy over there
treats them like his whores.

697
00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:13,316
We need to get Lucy Liu to go under...
Lisa Ling.

698
00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:16,743
Lisa Ling to go undercover and
investigate these dirty-ass nail salons.

699
00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:20,375
But they are hiring and you
are licensed to do nails.

700
00:32:20,472 --> 00:32:23,453
I don't wanna work here. They
have a bass in their aquarium.

701
00:32:23,542 --> 00:32:26,250
It's beautiful here. Everything
smells like lavender.

702
00:32:26,311 --> 00:32:28,791
Plus, you could leach them a
lot, because you know your shit.

703
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,950
I do know my shit.

704
00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:32,722
I could French manicure a chicken
while it was running away.

705
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:36,719
Guess I could get something
better once we're settled, right?

706
00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:39,962
Exactly! And then just wait
until you get that better job

707
00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,560
before you quit this one.

708
00:32:42,394 --> 00:32:44,601
I'm open to new ways.

709
00:32:46,898 --> 00:32:47,842
Your sister?

710
00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:48,934
Yes, that's my sister.

711
00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:50,268
You're older.

712
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:51,970
No. Yes.

713
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,409
Why would you say that?

714
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:55,740
Your face.

715
00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:57,008
Oh.

716
00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:58,176
Older.

717
00:32:58,477 --> 00:32:59,478
No. Yes.

718
00:32:59,578 --> 00:33:00,579
<i>Okay.</i>

719
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,686
So, do you like working here?

720
00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:05,989
I love it.

721
00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:09,621
Do you get proper lunch breaks?

722
00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:10,792
What is lunch?

723
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,602
Oh, my God. That's terrible.

724
00:33:13,859 --> 00:33:14,963
Hey.

725
00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:17,165
Thank you so much for this.
This is a great place.

726
00:33:17,262 --> 00:33:18,382
Of course.

727
00:33:21,032 --> 00:33:23,034
So, uh, I see you're hiring.

728
00:33:25,637 --> 00:33:27,776
Oh, we are not hiring right now.

729
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,047
You just got a big old sign.

730
00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:34,653
Hey, Hae-Won. Would you like
to come to a party tonight?

731
00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:37,352
You and your friends come, okay?

732
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:38,553
To do nail?

733
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:41,028
Oh, no. No, no, no. Party?

734
00:33:41,119 --> 00:33:42,530
You can bring whoever you want.

735
00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:44,032
Party, yes.

736
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:47,300
Sojus. Jews.

737
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:49,635
Soju there? Sure.
There'll be Jews there.

738
00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:52,868
Love jus. Koreans love jus.

739
00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:54,034
Koreans love Jews.

740
00:33:54,132 --> 00:33:55,907
I love jus. I love Jews, too.

741
00:33:56,001 --> 00:33:57,002
Jus.

742
00:33:57,068 --> 00:34:00,140
Adam is thinking of coming, and
Gabe is on the fence, so...

743
00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:01,309
Soju.

744
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:03,512
I'm worried we aren't talking
about the same thing.

745
00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:06,353
- Juice. Drinking juice.
- Jus.

746
00:34:06,411 --> 00:34:07,719
You stupid.

747
00:34:07,812 --> 00:34:10,520
There'll be juice there. There'll be
food there. There'll be Jews there.

748
00:34:10,582 --> 00:34:12,061
Okay. Yes. Great.

749
00:34:12,150 --> 00:34:15,154
Okay, listen. My daughter
and I are moving to Orlando

750
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,427
and I really need a job.

751
00:34:17,589 --> 00:34:19,068
Oh, no.

752
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:25,371
Okay, look. Just smile and shake
my hand like you gave me a job

753
00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:27,070
and I will text you
a picture of my boobs.

754
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,838
Real good ones. High and happy.

755
00:34:29,267 --> 00:34:31,008
No? I misread your deal.

756
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,275
Smile and shake my hand.

757
00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:34,543
Or I will text
you a picture of my boobs,

758
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,085
and I know you don't
wanna see them.

759
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,283
Awesome! Thank you, Vicky.

760
00:34:40,378 --> 00:34:42,915
I will see you on Monday.

761
00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:45,389
Boom! I got a job.

762
00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:48,590
And look what I pulled out of your wallet.
"Success is desire in action."

763
00:34:48,687 --> 00:34:50,564
Amazing! You're crushing it!

764
00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:51,692
Whoo!

765
00:34:52,023 --> 00:34:53,058
We need to cancel dinner
with Mom and Dad.

766
00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:56,071
What if we lie to Mom and Dad and
then they die in their sleep?

767
00:34:56,127 --> 00:34:58,198
Don't let them smell your guilt.

768
00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:01,069
Girls.

769
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:03,078
Hey, Mom, we are doing
so much work over there

770
00:35:03,134 --> 00:35:05,307
and doing nothing else,
and I am telling the truth.

771
00:35:06,137 --> 00:35:07,207
Well.

772
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:11,914
I was just, urn, putting the
silverware in the drawers here.

773
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,888
Hey, we can't
have dinner tonight.

774
00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:18,587
Yeah, because we're in such packing
mode we don't wanna stop our groove.

775
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:20,558
Sounds good!

776
00:35:34,399 --> 00:35:35,400
Oh.

777
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,447
No. We've...

778
00:35:37,502 --> 00:35:38,606
Okay!

779
00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:40,013
Bye. We're leaving!

780
00:35:40,505 --> 00:35:42,610
Did we just cock block
our parents'?

781
00:35:42,674 --> 00:35:44,278
They were fresh
off the sex griddle.

782
00:35:44,342 --> 00:35:46,344
There was so much
color in her face.

783
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:51,590
Hey, see you tonight! You know, I'm
laying down a bread base.

784
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,755
So I wanna stop by Sam and
Gray's house, real quick.

785
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,738
Oh, I haven't seen those homos
since high school!

786
00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:56,788
I know.

787
00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:59,461
They said that we could borrow those
cool chairs they had at their wedding.

788
00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:01,265
Gays know how to throw a party.

789
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:05,338
Go to Costco,
get a pan of hot wings.

790
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:07,603
Get some big, basic salamis.

791
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:09,873
Or just make a fuckload
of potato salad.

792
00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:11,642
With Tostitos Scoops.

793
00:36:11,703 --> 00:36:13,546
It's like a spoon you can eat.

794
00:36:14,706 --> 00:36:19,018
Obviously, it's the gay men who
have the great party ideas.

795
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:22,683
I wish being gay was a choice because I
always did like that shorts and boots look.

796
00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:23,782
Yeah, I don't know.

797
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,794
For me, the deal breaker might
be the eating of the pussy.

798
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:29,559
Oh, really? Because for me it would just be
the fucking unbearable amount of talking.

799
00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:30,689
BYE, guys!

800
00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:39,907
Hmm, what do you think, Brayla?

801
00:36:39,998 --> 00:36:42,137
That looks amazing on you.

802
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,373
I never met a Brayla before.

803
00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:45,879
I know, like, three.

804
00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:48,541
Oh, so you're trending.
God bless.

805
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:53,487
You know, it's a lot of under teat but
I think I'm getting away with it.

806
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,252
Also it's, um, on backwards.

807
00:36:58,249 --> 00:37:00,024
You think? Yeah.

808
00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:01,854
How's it going in there?

809
00:37:02,420 --> 00:37:04,195
I don't get this dress.

810
00:37:04,255 --> 00:37:06,701
One of my apples
keeps rolling out of the bag.

811
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:10,438
But I like the story
it tells with the fringe.

812
00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:12,030
You're gonna have to rock a
thong with this, though.

813
00:37:12,097 --> 00:37:15,078
Oh, no, I don't wear thongs.
I have a very fussy taint.

814
00:37:15,166 --> 00:37:17,510
You just have to build up a callus.
Right, Brayla?

815
00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,004
That looks amazing on you.

816
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:22,847
I worry that she just wants the sale.
She's not telling us the truth.

817
00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:25,945
No. Brayla has no pleasure center
in her brain.

818
00:37:26,611 --> 00:37:27,715
Oh, here we go.

819
00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:30,851
Haley! How-slash-where are you?

820
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,394
You can trust me.

821
00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:33,724
I am at a friend's house.

822
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:35,560
<i>So I go! Your text message</i>

823
00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:39,227
about moving in with Gram and Gramps,
and you know I love Orlando.

824
00:37:39,290 --> 00:37:41,031
I'm super excited about this!

825
00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,565
Yeah, you know what? I was
real excited about it, too,

826
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:46,871
and it turns out that Gram and
Gramps are selling their house.

827
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:47,966
Oh...

828
00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:51,239
Okay, I like that it
has a strong message,

829
00:37:51,302 --> 00:37:53,407
but I am afraid that I'm gonna
zip my bush up in there.

830
00:37:53,471 --> 00:37:57,112
We can still make Orlando happen. I
promise, I will find another way.

831
00:37:58,743 --> 00:38:00,222
Don't be upset.

832
00:38:00,812 --> 00:38:02,314
Okay, give it to me.

833
00:38:02,413 --> 00:38:04,222
Hey, honey. It's Maura. Hey.

834
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,592
Listen, your morn forgot to tell
you the most important part,

835
00:38:06,651 --> 00:38:11,100
which is that she got a job out
here at a very fancy nail salon.

836
00:38:11,156 --> 00:38:12,499
Really? Yes.

837
00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:13,728
Try something on.

838
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:18,604
So I think maybe you should come here
earlier next week, and surprise her.

839
00:38:19,264 --> 00:38:20,504
She really misses you.

840
00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:23,078
Aunt Maura, I don't know.
I don't know.

841
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,971
Haley, I know I said that I was
going to help you for a while,

842
00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:28,277
but now you have to get
back with your mother.

843
00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:29,841
<i>I hate keeping secrets.</i>

844
00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:33,351
Especially from my sister.
It gives me guilt diarrhea.

845
00:38:33,478 --> 00:38:35,788
Okay. But what should I do
with Polenta?

846
00:38:37,615 --> 00:38:40,027
<i>The dog-sitters number
is on the counter.</i>

847
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:43,689
Use my credit card, and get
a flight, and come here.

848
00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:45,995
It's gonna work this time,
honey, I promise.

849
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:47,535
Okay, if you think so.

850
00:38:48,526 --> 00:38:49,800
I love you. Love you, too.

851
00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:50,862
Bye.

852
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:54,435
Haley's good. It's all fine.

853
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,612
Aw. That's awesome. Thanks.

854
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,274
These dresses are made for
Chinese tomboys, by the way.

855
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:00,543
I don't know about that one.

856
00:39:00,638 --> 00:39:02,549
Really, because
what about this part?

857
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:07,949
That's a Play-Doh Fun
Factory right there. Ooh.

858
00:39:08,046 --> 00:39:10,322
And the eye goes right to it.
Yeah, look at that.

859
00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:17,995
That is flesh, and dudes like that. They
don't care what thing it's coming out of.

860
00:39:18,056 --> 00:39:19,160
This dress smells like pickles.

861
00:39:19,224 --> 00:39:20,225
Better work.

862
00:39:20,325 --> 00:39:21,827
It just feels like
it's maybe one or the other.

863
00:39:21,893 --> 00:39:23,804
I think it's what they call
"either/and."

864
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,239
No, I don't. Well...

865
00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:27,139
Right, Brayla?
Brayla, where you from?

866
00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:29,508
That looks amazing on you.
Mmm-hmm.

867
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:32,344
We got to find another store,
they can't handle our heat here.

868
00:39:32,403 --> 00:39:36,818
God. We need, like, a little less "Forever
21" and a little more "Suddenly 42."

869
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:39,354
Yeah. We are keeping it tight.

870
00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:41,686
It is tight. This is very tight.

871
00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,657
Here, give me a kiss.

872
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:52,865
- Wait. Where are we going?
- One last errand.

873
00:39:57,262 --> 00:39:58,832
Get it, girl. What?

874
00:39:59,697 --> 00:40:03,110
Oh, my God. Damn it. I knew it!
You never offer to drive.

875
00:40:03,201 --> 00:40:06,614
Ask him. "Desire needs action," or
whatever the fuck that one said.

876
00:40:06,704 --> 00:40:09,446
I don't have my good bra on.
I have beef jerky breath.

877
00:40:09,908 --> 00:40:11,444
Okay. Okay.

878
00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:13,786
Hi. Hi.

879
00:40:15,113 --> 00:40:18,390
I'm, uh, Maura,
from yonder there.

880
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,555
My sister and I
objectified you yesterday?

881
00:40:21,619 --> 00:40:23,030
I remember you.

882
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,033
I'm James. Hi, James.

883
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:26,894
Do you go by Jimmy?

884
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,302
Usually James, sometimes James.

885
00:40:29,394 --> 00:40:32,102
Well, just wanted to say hello.
And that's all I got, so.

886
00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:37,878
Uh...

887
00:40:38,569 --> 00:40:40,480
Would you borrow me
your bathroom?

888
00:40:41,806 --> 00:40:43,080
Number one only.

889
00:40:43,141 --> 00:40:45,621
Of course, come in. You can do
whatever you want in there, really.

890
00:40:45,710 --> 00:40:46,814
Wow.

891
00:40:46,911 --> 00:40:50,154
I am actually just renovating it,
I'm gonna put it on the market.

892
00:40:50,248 --> 00:40:52,626
Wow. You're doing a really nice job.
Oh, thank you.

893
00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:56,094
It was my parents' house, but they
passed away within a year of each other.

894
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:58,498
Oh, my God. That's horrible.

895
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,229
Yeah. Yeah, it was really sad.

896
00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:04,731
Are you gonna be okay?

897
00:41:05,496 --> 00:41:07,840
I'm sorry. It's just that's,
like, my worst fear.

898
00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:11,072
I'm sorry I told you. I'm
sorry you had to find out this way.

899
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:12,846
My legs just went numb.

900
00:41:13,671 --> 00:41:14,945
I'll be okay.

901
00:41:15,006 --> 00:41:16,366
Uh' do you still
need the bathroom?

902
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,634
I think I'm too sad to go now.

903
00:41:17,675 --> 00:41:18,779
Yeah, of course.

904
00:41:19,277 --> 00:41:20,585
<i>Okay.</i>

905
00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:22,124
Hey, who's this guy?

906
00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:24,786
Oh, that's Mashed Potatoes.

907
00:41:24,849 --> 00:41:26,129
I'm pretty mad at him right now.

908
00:41:26,351 --> 00:41:27,796
Hey!

909
00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:33,195
Would you like to
flank me at a party

910
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:35,271
that I'm attending at
my own house tonight?

911
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:36,430
Him or me?

912
00:41:37,528 --> 00:41:38,768
Oh, you. Yeah, yeah.

913
00:41:39,464 --> 00:41:40,807
Ah, maybe. What time?

914
00:41:40,865 --> 00:41:43,141
8230. 8245. 9200.

915
00:41:43,201 --> 00:41:45,613
You know, it doesn't matter.
I'm pretty laid back.

916
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,311
Okay, okay. Let me just, uh,
check my calendar real quick.

917
00:41:49,374 --> 00:41:50,978
You're lucky. I am free.

918
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:53,002
Well, that's a good news!

919
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:56,454
I'm not Italian. I don't know
why I said it like that.

920
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,152
No, I like Italians.

921
00:41:58,950 --> 00:41:59,870
Okay. I'm half-Italian.

922
00:41:59,951 --> 00:42:01,123
No, I'm not. That was a lie.

923
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:05,797
So, then I... There, yeah. Okay.

924
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:07,799
You will come to the party

925
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,533
and I cannot stop trailing off.

926
00:42:11,229 --> 00:42:12,401
All right. But I will now.

927
00:42:12,497 --> 00:42:17,970
I'm just gonna casually George
Jefferson my way out of here.

928
00:42:18,136 --> 00:42:19,308
To you.

929
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:24,979
And just gonna ease on down the
road and re-run it to the car.

930
00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:26,978
Okay, goodbye. Oh!

931
00:42:33,818 --> 00:42:35,161
Bye!

932
00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:36,357
Kate, let me in.

933
00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:39,493
Oh, hello.

934
00:42:39,657 --> 00:42:40,727
Hi. Why?

935
00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:42,668
We were measuring for a pergola.

936
00:42:42,827 --> 00:42:45,774
What, like Polish food? I'm sorry,
are you having a party here?

937
00:42:46,264 --> 00:42:47,368
Nope. Nope.

938
00:42:47,432 --> 00:42:49,878
If really looks like
you're having a party.

939
00:42:49,934 --> 00:42:52,175
Oh, Gosh. I hate to make
you feel like a dick,

940
00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:54,750
but this is actually for a wake.

941
00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:57,046
I am very sorry to hear that.

942
00:42:57,108 --> 00:43:00,920
Yeah. We always told our cousin,
"Don't play on the tracks."

943
00:43:01,012 --> 00:43:02,218
Dear God.

944
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,691
I'm so sorry for your loss.

945
00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,625
Obviously,
our cousin was a dumbass.

946
00:43:06,617 --> 00:43:08,028
But we will miss her. Him.

947
00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:09,565
Herm. His name was Herm.

948
00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:11,759
They found his head,
like, a mile away.

949
00:43:11,856 --> 00:43:14,097
I think he's probably gonna
haunt the house forever.

950
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:15,967
Headless and angry. Yeah.

951
00:43:16,961 --> 00:43:18,702
I am not buying that bull waste.

952
00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:20,265
That's a girl's belt.

953
00:43:20,364 --> 00:43:23,243
Rich people can just decide
to move somewhere.

954
00:43:23,301 --> 00:43:25,577
Choke on a roll of cash.

955
00:43:25,636 --> 00:43:26,637
So I've been thinking.

956
00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:27,772
Why?

957
00:43:27,872 --> 00:43:30,478
You've asserted yourself,
and you got a job,

958
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,487
so maybe I could
give you a loan.

959
00:43:33,578 --> 00:43:35,216
To get a new place.

960
00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:37,560
When you say, "loan, “ do you
mean the kind you pay back",

961
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,891
or, like, a "wink-wink" loan?

962
00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:41,157
All loans are
supposed to be paid back.

963
00:43:41,252 --> 00:43:42,595
Not in my experience.

964
00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:44,493
But you can do that now
because you have a job.

965
00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:46,592
<i>I</i> do.

966
00:43:46,657 --> 00:43:50,127
That is an awesome offer.
All right!

967
00:43:50,228 --> 00:43:51,434
Okay, wait.

968
00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:54,670
I am going to ask you for something
in return for the money,

969
00:43:54,765 --> 00:43:57,609
and I don't want you to think that
this loan is contingent on that,

970
00:43:57,668 --> 00:43:59,511
but I will say that
if you don't do it,

971
00:43:59,670 --> 00:44:01,581
I feel like I might
not give you the money.

972
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:02,811
Okay. Great. What?

973
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,651
It's a lot harder than I thought.
Just give me a minute.

974
00:44:10,681 --> 00:44:12,752
Will you be
the party mom tonight?

975
00:44:12,850 --> 00:44:14,989
So I can let my freak flag fly?

976
00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:17,158
I would love to.

977
00:44:17,288 --> 00:44:18,426
Yeah?

978
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:22,096
Because your face is
telling me something else.

979
00:44:23,027 --> 00:44:24,529
That would bring me joy.

980
00:44:25,429 --> 00:44:27,807
You know what? Forget it. It'll
just get screwed up. I'll do it.

981
00:44:27,865 --> 00:44:29,208
You don't think I can
take care of people?

982
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:32,440
I am an actual mom! I got this!

983
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,483
Okay, but the party mom
can't drink.

984
00:44:34,539 --> 00:44:36,712
What fresh fuckery is that?

985
00:44:36,807 --> 00:44:38,980
Does a mother drink
at her kid's birthday party?

986
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:40,545
Yeah, if there's a lifeguard.

987
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:42,157
No.

988
00:44:42,213 --> 00:44:43,886
It's okay. I don't mind.

989
00:44:43,981 --> 00:44:46,393
Forget it.
I'll be fine. It's okay.

990
00:44:54,058 --> 00:44:57,232
Okay. I won't drink tonight.
You groin it up.

991
00:44:57,328 --> 00:44:58,807
I'll be you. You be me.

992
00:44:58,896 --> 00:45:01,740
Oh, my God. So many red flags! Okay.
Let's do this!

993
00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:07,141
When you're flirting with Mr. Man,
don't weave your divorce tale.

994
00:45:07,405 --> 00:45:10,409
Drunk people like to show off with fi re.
Shut it down.

995
00:45:10,975 --> 00:45:14,821
Over-pronounce things, because he
is gonna be watching your mouth.

996
00:45:15,746 --> 00:45:18,158
Remember, don't leave someone
when they're throwing up.

997
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,593
Sleep-barfing kills.

998
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:22,657
Once you're in the bedroom,

999
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,358
lock the door so
I can't burst in

1000
00:45:24,488 --> 00:45:26,092
and take
a commemorative picture.

1001
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:31,168
Kate, can you clean
up this gel' please?

1002
00:45:31,229 --> 00:45:32,936
Yes! Stop asking me about it.

1003
00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:52,258
It's that scary time when you're
afraid that no one will show up.

1004
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,128
It's 8:32. People aren't gonna...

1005
00:45:57,288 --> 00:46:00,201
Take it, girl.
This is your show.

1006
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:04,739
Hey.

1007
00:46:04,795 --> 00:46:06,968
Hey! Hi! Hey!

1008
00:46:07,064 --> 00:46:09,271
It's Rob and Liz. And their son.

1009
00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:10,402
Nope.

1010
00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:11,572
Not happening. No kids.

1011
00:46:11,636 --> 00:46:13,309
Yeah, he can just
watch TV downstairs.

1012
00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:15,077
No. Him got to go.

1013
00:46:15,139 --> 00:46:17,420
Yeah. Sorry, there's just too
many things he could ingest.

1014
00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:19,919
Um...

1015
00:46:20,411 --> 00:46:21,583
We'll be back.

1016
00:46:21,646 --> 00:46:24,252
Chase, we are gonna go see Nana.

1017
00:46:24,315 --> 00:46:25,919
Yeah. Yeah. Yay!

1018
00:46:25,983 --> 00:46:27,257
You remember her, right?

1019
00:46:27,318 --> 00:46:29,457
Damn. Adults are on time, huh?

1020
00:46:29,553 --> 00:46:30,554
Yeah.

1021
00:46:30,988 --> 00:46:32,934
Why is Alex
walking up our driveway?

1022
00:46:32,990 --> 00:46:36,335
I'm so sorry. I invited him, because I
feel bad for him. He's very lonely.

1023
00:46:36,427 --> 00:46:38,771
Knock, knock. Who's there?

1024
00:46:38,829 --> 00:46:41,070
Duane! Duane who?

1025
00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,440
Duane the bathtub.

1026
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:45,504
I'm dwowning!

1027
00:46:47,838 --> 00:46:49,112
You still got it!

1028
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:51,483
May I please have a beverage?

1029
00:46:52,943 --> 00:46:54,980
Sanctuary! Mmm.

1030
00:46:56,013 --> 00:46:57,856
Wow!

1031
00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:00,929
Welcome to Jurassic Park!

1032
00:47:02,687 --> 00:47:05,099
Christ, he is
immediately exhausting.

1033
00:47:05,156 --> 00:47:06,328
Hello there.

1034
00:47:06,457 --> 00:47:07,595
Fun train pulling in!

1035
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:10,002
Booze, booze! Whoo-hoo!

1036
00:47:16,367 --> 00:47:20,679
And when my dad finally died,
he actually glowed.

1037
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,444
Kelly! Ugh!

1038
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:26,044
When did we all get so old?

1039
00:47:26,143 --> 00:47:27,986
I mean, at least the women
are making an effort,

1040
00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:29,547
but the men here?

1041
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,217
Look like they're
being slowly poisoned.

1042
00:47:32,883 --> 00:47:36,330
I think it's about
how you feel, right?

1043
00:47:36,387 --> 00:47:38,060
Done. You know?

1044
00:47:39,156 --> 00:47:41,033
Best days behind us.
Right, guys'?

1045
00:47:41,125 --> 00:47:45,164
I don't know. You might live like
another eight or 10 years, Kelly.

1046
00:47:45,229 --> 00:47:47,038
You don't wanna be
looking at it like that.

1047
00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:48,802
Chase was like a 10-pound baby.

1048
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,345
So when he came out of there,

1049
00:47:50,401 --> 00:47:53,177
I mean' it was decimated.
That's horrible. Ugh.

1050
00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:55,843
So I ended up having
a vaginal rejuvenation.

1051
00:47:55,906 --> 00:47:58,512
It's as tight as
a keyhole down there.

1052
00:47:58,576 --> 00:48:01,250
I could pick up quarters
with it, if I wanted to.

1053
00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:03,189
I haven't wanted to yet.

1054
00:48:03,247 --> 00:48:04,920
I shouldn't be telling you this,

1055
00:48:05,015 --> 00:48:06,756
but Rob's penis
has a kink in it.

1056
00:48:06,851 --> 00:48:08,194
I can't think of
what it's called.

1057
00:48:08,252 --> 00:48:10,391
It's kind of, like, crimped?

1058
00:48:10,488 --> 00:48:12,525
I don't know. I can't even...

1059
00:48:12,590 --> 00:48:14,501
There they are. Yeah.

1060
00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:15,760
Hey.

1061
00:48:15,860 --> 00:48:17,271
She bragging about me?

1062
00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:20,940
Put a bunch of videos
on YouTube yesterday.

1063
00:48:21,031 --> 00:48:25,036
I'm up to a hundred hits,
so, sensacién, as they say.

1064
00:48:26,203 --> 00:48:27,409
It's empty-

1065
00:48:28,939 --> 00:48:30,213
Boink!

1066
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:35,352
He has a yeast infection in his
paws, between his paw pads,

1067
00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:39,225
and I have to get a wipe, and I have
to wipe out his paws every night.

1068
00:48:39,283 --> 00:48:40,403
Are you gonna get me a drink?

1069
00:48:40,451 --> 00:48:42,397
Can you give me
a chance to offer?

1070
00:48:43,788 --> 00:48:46,701
One thousand euthanized a year
just in this county.

1071
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:50,569
I woke up one day, and boom.
No more periods.

1072
00:48:51,562 --> 00:48:54,236
What the fuckenheimer?
Grown-up parties suck.

1073
00:48:54,298 --> 00:48:57,541
How can one person
have two colonoscopy stories?

1074
00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:59,137
I'm gonna get
the dancing started.

1075
00:49:00,538 --> 00:49:01,608
Get in there, kid.

1076
00:49:01,705 --> 00:49:03,548
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hi.

1077
00:49:03,974 --> 00:49:05,578
Sure don't feel like your age.
Oh.

1078
00:49:06,877 --> 00:49:09,221
I hope that you have got your
phone in your front pocket.

1079
00:49:13,150 --> 00:49:15,096
No.

1080
00:49:15,453 --> 00:49:16,454
Whoo!

1081
00:49:16,821 --> 00:49:19,392
Come on. Here we go. Here we go!

1082
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,300
Hey, you can't
start with Mony <i>Mony!</i>

1083
00:49:21,425 --> 00:49:22,836
That's like starting with anal.
Oh.

1084
00:49:22,927 --> 00:49:23,928
All right.

1085
00:49:25,996 --> 00:49:27,066
Geernt!

1086
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:31,811
Hi, there. Dropping off paint.

1087
00:49:32,336 --> 00:49:33,747
I'll put it by the pool.

1088
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:34,805
So? Okay.

1089
00:49:36,841 --> 00:49:38,479
My apologies. I was worried

1090
00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:40,419
you were having a party,
but I see now,

1091
00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:42,924
you really are having a wake.

1092
00:49:48,752 --> 00:49:49,753
Hey.

1093
00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:53,032
This party is fucking lame.
Do you...

1094
00:49:53,123 --> 00:49:54,363
Drugs? I know a guy.

1095
00:49:54,492 --> 00:49:55,698
Call him.

1096
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,000
- Hello!
- Hi!

1097
00:49:58,095 --> 00:49:59,972
Hae-Won!

1098
00:50:00,030 --> 00:50:01,134
No, Hae-Won.

1099
00:50:01,198 --> 00:50:03,678
Right, sorry. You made it.
I can't believe it. Look!

1100
00:50:03,767 --> 00:50:06,008
What? Look at this
flock of hotties.

1101
00:50:06,103 --> 00:50:07,776
Wow. You look so happy.

1102
00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:11,149
You look so free and not oppressed at all.
We were worried about you.

1103
00:50:11,208 --> 00:50:13,552
Really? We were
worried about you.

1104
00:50:13,644 --> 00:50:16,284
Both your feet
looked like dried beef.

1105
00:50:16,814 --> 00:50:19,021
Ah, I knew you were
talking shit about us.

1106
00:50:19,116 --> 00:50:20,196
Who wants a drink? Come on.

1107
00:50:20,284 --> 00:50:21,684
- Let's go get drink!
- Let's party!

1108
00:50:21,986 --> 00:50:23,659
Thank you so much for having us.

1109
00:50:23,721 --> 00:50:25,359
- What? You're leaving?
- Great party.

1110
00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:26,867
- Kate, they're leaving.
- Hey!

1111
00:50:26,957 --> 00:50:27,992
Chase has night terrors.

1112
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:29,195
Absolutely not.

1113
00:50:29,293 --> 00:50:31,170
Everybody,
huddle up for a second.

1114
00:50:31,228 --> 00:50:34,641
To anyone who's even
thinking about leaving,

1115
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,006
you can forget it.

1116
00:50:36,066 --> 00:50:38,137
You need this as much as we do.

1117
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,579
Just as much <i>as</i> we do.

1118
00:50:39,670 --> 00:50:41,809
If you think I strapped
all this shit on tonight

1119
00:50:41,972 --> 00:50:44,043
<i>so you could be home
to watch Flip or Flop,</i>

1120
00:50:44,141 --> 00:50:45,916
you are fucking dreaming.

1121
00:50:46,010 --> 00:50:47,387
You're dreaming.

1122
00:50:47,478 --> 00:50:49,822
Dan and Kim. You got four kids,

1123
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,918
and from what I can thin slice from
your Christmas letters, they're wangs.

1124
00:50:53,017 --> 00:50:54,655
Thank you. Wait, what?

1125
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:59,232
Kelly! Your profile pic is a
low-fat Mexican casserole.

1126
00:50:59,323 --> 00:51:00,893
Yeah, it is.

1127
00:51:02,493 --> 00:51:04,439
Rob' when was
the last time you danced

1128
00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:06,508
with the night air
hitting your nips?

1129
00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:08,840
Guns N' Roses.
Citrus Bowl, 1991.

1130
00:51:10,935 --> 00:51:13,745
Don't you wanna feel
that carefree again?

1131
00:51:13,837 --> 00:51:16,181
Just, like, balls deep in joy?

1132
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:18,777
Yes!
Yeah. Where'd them balls go?

1133
00:51:19,777 --> 00:51:21,381
What are you doing?
I'm being your hype man.

1134
00:51:21,445 --> 00:51:23,118
Great. It's not too late.

1135
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,258
The young you
still lives inside you.

1136
00:51:26,350 --> 00:51:27,761
Just like shingles, y'all.

1137
00:51:27,851 --> 00:51:29,694
We used to party
in this house like animals

1138
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:31,755
because we thought
we would never die.

1139
00:51:31,855 --> 00:51:34,233
I say, tonight,
we party like Vikings

1140
00:51:34,358 --> 00:51:36,770
because we know we
could die tomorrow!

1141
00:51:36,860 --> 00:51:38,396
Let's light a boat on fire!

1142
00:51:39,563 --> 00:51:41,941
Tonight is my gift to you!

1143
00:51:42,032 --> 00:51:45,275
Drink up and run with scissors
tonight, because Mama got you.

1144
00:51:45,369 --> 00:51:46,905
Aw, Shit!

1145
00:51:47,137 --> 00:51:48,445
Yeah, Mama!

1146
00:51:48,539 --> 00:51:50,075
Now, go call your sitters!

1147
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,619
But what should we call them?

1148
00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,890
Alex is still funny, guys.

1149
00:51:57,548 --> 00:51:59,050
Thanks. I'm pouring shots.

1150
00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,652
Now remind me that you
know how to do this. Whoo!

1151
00:52:01,752 --> 00:52:03,163
I remember how to do it!

1152
00:52:03,253 --> 00:52:05,096
And let's dance our titties off!

1153
00:52:06,557 --> 00:52:08,093
Shot, shot, shot!

1154
00:52:12,596 --> 00:52:13,597
Next round, vodka!

1155
00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:15,466
Have you done it?

1156
00:52:20,270 --> 00:52:21,340
Only people with children.

1157
00:52:21,438 --> 00:52:22,798
People with kids.
People with kids.

1158
00:52:53,537 --> 00:52:54,515
Hey!

1159
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:56,846
That's a really beautiful orchid.
Is that for me?

1160
00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:58,783
No, this is mine.

1161
00:52:59,276 --> 00:53:01,278
Maura.
Invite Doctor Bushwhack in.

1162
00:53:01,445 --> 00:53:03,391
Show him where to put
his things. I'll greet.

1163
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,517
Uh, please come in,
and take off your...

1164
00:53:06,050 --> 00:53:07,188
Just come in.

1165
00:53:07,284 --> 00:53:08,354
There you go.

1166
00:53:08,452 --> 00:53:09,863
Oh, thank you. No problem.

1167
00:53:09,953 --> 00:53:11,864
It's beautiful. Thank you.

1168
00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,628
Wow. It smells amazing.

1169
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:15,226
Do orchids smell?

1170
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,572
They can,
if you get fungus gnats.

1171
00:53:18,662 --> 00:53:21,404
And those are hard to get rid of.
It stinks up your whole house.

1172
00:53:21,498 --> 00:53:23,535
But this one looks good.

1173
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:24,977
Yeah, this is pretty healthy.

1174
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:26,878
Why don't you greet your guests?

1175
00:53:26,970 --> 00:53:29,644
I'm gonna make myself a drink,
and face the wall.

1176
00:53:33,911 --> 00:53:36,858
Cover time. Twenty bucks
for the booze and food, please.

1177
00:53:36,914 --> 00:53:38,518
Kate. The lesbians are here.

1178
00:53:38,582 --> 00:53:39,890
Excellent.

1179
00:53:39,983 --> 00:53:42,520
Hey. Cool if I spin some tunes?

1180
00:53:42,586 --> 00:53:44,224
I'm afraid to tell you no.

1181
00:53:44,321 --> 00:53:45,698
Great. Great.

1182
00:53:45,756 --> 00:53:47,076
Let them through, everybody!

1183
00:53:53,330 --> 00:53:56,334
Get ready for a Sarah
McLachlan/Tracy Chapman mash-up.

1184
00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:00,446
Oh, yeah!

1185
00:54:00,537 --> 00:54:02,175
Oh, shit.

1186
00:54:16,086 --> 00:54:18,066
Can I talk to you
for a second? Yeah.

1187
00:54:18,122 --> 00:54:19,396
How's it going in there?

1188
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:22,062
Well, I told him
about my fungus gnats.

1189
00:54:22,126 --> 00:54:24,538
Let him do
the bulk of the talking.

1190
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:26,768
Yeah, I'm just afraid
when it gets quiet.

1191
00:54:26,864 --> 00:54:28,866
Good things are
hidden in the quiet.

1192
00:54:29,700 --> 00:54:31,043
Who said that?

1193
00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,546
I did. I'm smart.

1194
00:54:32,636 --> 00:54:33,740
<i>Okay.</i>

1195
00:54:33,804 --> 00:54:35,404
You should put that
on one of your cards.

1196
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:47,259
But it <i>is</i> expected of you. Your
absence has already been noted.

1197
00:54:47,317 --> 00:54:48,796
<i>The boy means nothing to me.</i>

1198
00:54:48,919 --> 00:54:51,092
<i>I can't stand
the wailing of women.</i>

1199
00:54:52,256 --> 00:54:54,463
God, I could watch
Tyrion slap the smug

1200
00:54:54,591 --> 00:54:56,798
off that little fucker's
face a hundred times

1201
00:54:56,894 --> 00:54:58,635
and never get sick of it.

1202
00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:01,801
Did you know that Jack Gleeson was
the little boy in Batman Begins?

1203
00:55:01,899 --> 00:55:04,675
Jean, when you use
the actors' real names,

1204
00:55:04,768 --> 00:55:06,975
you're not allowing yourself to
live inside the fantasy world

1205
00:55:07,070 --> 00:55:08,981
that they've so
lovingly crafted for us.

1206
00:55:09,406 --> 00:55:13,286
Oh, and just a reminder there's a no
phone policy on our G. O. T. Nights.

1207
00:55:13,343 --> 00:55:14,447
I'm sorry.

1208
00:55:14,511 --> 00:55:18,015
Ian Mitchell keeps posting photos
of the Ellis Island party,

1209
00:55:18,115 --> 00:55:20,459
and it looks
like kinda damn fun.

1210
00:55:20,918 --> 00:55:22,989
I kinda wanna drop by.

1211
00:55:23,086 --> 00:55:24,429
They have cheese.

1212
00:55:25,923 --> 00:55:27,368
Cheese.

1213
00:55:27,457 --> 00:55:29,130
All we have is wine.

1214
00:55:29,193 --> 00:55:30,968
And it's non-alcoholic.

1215
00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:33,269
We don't have to take
off our shoes there.

1216
00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:35,833
And there aren't so many rules.

1217
00:55:39,636 --> 00:55:40,671
I'll take another one...

1218
00:55:40,771 --> 00:55:41,841
Hey. Hey.

1219
00:55:43,941 --> 00:55:46,114
Man, I haven't been
to a party in a while.

1220
00:55:47,444 --> 00:55:50,789
I know. The last party I went to
was probably my wedding reception.

1221
00:55:55,986 --> 00:55:58,193
This wine... So did you
see your parents die?

1222
00:55:58,789 --> 00:56:00,826
No, I didn't,

1223
00:56:02,492 --> 00:56:03,869
but I know they did.

1224
00:56:04,127 --> 00:56:06,232
Well, that's good to know.

1225
00:56:06,330 --> 00:56:07,866
It's not good to know.

1226
00:56:08,966 --> 00:56:10,343
Hey, it's okay.

1227
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,004
I mean, you can ask me anything.

1228
00:56:12,135 --> 00:56:13,705
What do you want
to know about me?

1229
00:56:16,306 --> 00:56:19,082
I have nachos that
are in the broiler.

1230
00:56:19,176 --> 00:56:20,712
I have to go get them.

1231
00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,916
Yeah, go. Do your thing.
I'll be here.

1232
00:56:23,013 --> 00:56:24,390
All right. All right.

1233
00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:27,885
What are you doing out here by yourself?
Where's your boyfriend'?

1234
00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:31,259
No, I don't think he's
right for me. It's a pass.

1235
00:56:31,355 --> 00:56:34,029
He's so direct' you know.
There's no surprises there.

1236
00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:35,291
There's not a lot to discover.

1237
00:56:35,325 --> 00:56:36,455
I mean, I like mystery.

1238
00:56:36,481 --> 00:56:39,526
And, you know, great sex is so distracting.
I mean, it's...

1239
00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:42,271
It's nice to be... Mmm-hmm...

1240
00:56:42,366 --> 00:56:45,779
so physically, emotionally
attracted to someone.

1241
00:56:45,869 --> 00:56:47,439
Uh-huh. Yeah.

1242
00:56:47,537 --> 00:56:48,880
But that's not what life is.

1243
00:56:48,939 --> 00:56:53,888
Life is about challenges and shadows
and corners and feeling weird.

1244
00:56:54,177 --> 00:56:56,418
You are so full of shit, that
I'm gonna buy you Pull-Ups.

1245
00:56:56,513 --> 00:56:57,856
I just think we're
gonna be very good friends.

1246
00:56:57,881 --> 00:56:59,761
I think you're being a little dramatic.
I'm not.

1247
00:57:00,217 --> 00:57:02,390
I asked him if he
saw his parents die.

1248
00:57:02,452 --> 00:57:04,056
Oh, Jesus.

1249
00:57:04,187 --> 00:57:06,258
Yeah. I don't like this feeling.
What feeling?

1250
00:57:06,356 --> 00:57:09,360
This high school feeling when
you're crushing on someone

1251
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,702
and you're afraid that they're
not gonna like you back,

1252
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,105
and then you're
gonna get heart cramps.

1253
00:57:13,196 --> 00:57:14,996
Hey, I think you're
getting ahead of yourself.

1254
00:57:16,066 --> 00:57:17,704
Someone else is
talking to him anyway.

1255
00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:21,382
Brinda?

1256
00:57:21,471 --> 00:57:23,815
Oh, hail naw!

1257
00:57:24,875 --> 00:57:27,651
Are you serious? Because I
am straight-up baffled.

1258
00:57:27,744 --> 00:57:28,779
I'm sorry?

1259
00:57:28,879 --> 00:57:32,486
I believe you called this party
a "sad and desperate event"?

1260
00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:35,324
Well, I just figured I'd pop
in and say hello to everyone.

1261
00:57:35,419 --> 00:57:37,057
I mean, we're all
adults now, right?

1262
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,724
Nice try. On your bike, bitch.

1263
00:57:39,489 --> 00:57:41,628
Get your peanut butter
oui of my sister's chocolate.

1264
00:57:41,725 --> 00:57:42,726
Wow.

1265
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:46,263
I respect your jumpsuit,
but not its contents. Hit it.

1266
00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:48,241
Well, this is ludicrous.

1267
00:57:48,732 --> 00:57:51,338
Get out.

1268
00:57:51,435 --> 00:57:54,575
Fine. I have another function
to attend anyway.

1269
00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:57,914
Besides, I flushed
a tampon down your toilet.

1270
00:57:57,975 --> 00:57:59,955
You're pads all the way
and everyone knows it.

1271
00:58:00,010 --> 00:58:01,011
Nuh-uh.

1272
00:58:01,111 --> 00:58:03,182
Let's go. Let's get
out of this septic tank.

1273
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:04,816
I kind of want to stay a little.

1274
00:58:04,948 --> 00:58:06,450
Yeah, me too.

1275
00:58:06,516 --> 00:58:07,654
For serious?

1276
00:58:07,751 --> 00:58:10,527
We never got to go before
because Kate hated you.

1277
00:58:10,620 --> 00:58:12,759
We suffered from
secondhand hate.

1278
00:58:16,460 --> 00:58:17,666
Wow.

1279
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,539
Hi. You guys are welcome here.
You know that, right?

1280
00:58:24,601 --> 00:58:26,205
Do you wanna do some shots?
Yeah.

1281
00:58:26,303 --> 00:58:28,715
Hi, I'd like to
make a noise complaint.

1282
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,977
Winter is coming, bitches.

1283
00:58:33,643 --> 00:58:35,384
- So, what's this order again?
- All right.

1284
00:58:35,479 --> 00:58:36,719
It goes salt.

1285
00:58:36,813 --> 00:58:38,121
Shot.

1286
00:58:38,782 --> 00:58:40,284
And then we suck on these?

1287
00:58:40,317 --> 00:58:41,694
No, you throw them at each other.

1288
00:58:41,785 --> 00:58:43,025
That's the way
you're supposed to.

1289
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:44,160
Maura? That's what...

1290
00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:45,962
Some guy here to see you?

1291
00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,127
Excuse me.

1292
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:48,360
All right. Go do it.

1293
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:50,566
My dude's in the bedroom.
What dude?

1294
00:58:50,660 --> 00:58:51,695
Some kid we're buying weed from.

1295
00:58:51,795 --> 00:58:52,796
Ooh, okay.

1296
00:58:54,798 --> 00:58:55,833
Hi, there.

1297
00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:00,713
Holy mother.

1298
00:59:00,804 --> 00:59:03,751
That's right. This is my
best friend, my brah, right?

1299
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:05,046
This is Pazuzu.

1300
00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,212
It sure is.

1301
00:59:06,309 --> 00:59:09,722
Pazuzu. Thank you so much
for bringing your arms here.

1302
00:59:09,813 --> 00:59:10,814
Your drugs here.

1303
00:59:11,648 --> 00:59:14,857
Uh, is your ink Samoan'?
I saw a documentary once...

1304
00:59:14,918 --> 00:59:15,988
I will handle this.

1305
00:59:16,086 --> 00:59:20,034
We are looking for...
To buy drugs.

1306
00:59:21,658 --> 00:59:23,069
What'chu want?

1307
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,607
I got ketamine,
meth, MDMA, Adderall,

1308
00:59:26,696 --> 00:59:31,236
Bromo-Dragonfly, heroin,
coke, crack, codeine, oxys,

1309
00:59:31,334 --> 00:59:32,574
percs, vikes,

1310
00:59:32,669 --> 00:59:35,240
PCP, LSD, Dilaudid, mescaline,

1311
00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:38,251
mushrooms, bath salts,
cortisone, Toradol.

1312
00:59:38,341 --> 00:59:41,083
I got molly. I got her sister Sandra.
I got big Frank.

1313
00:59:41,178 --> 00:59:43,055
I got birth control.
I got Plan B.

1314
00:59:43,113 --> 00:59:45,525
I got that morphine from China
they took off the market.

1315
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:46,959
Shit to make your click hard.

1316
00:59:47,050 --> 00:59:49,291
Shit to make your dick soft.
Shit'll find your dick.

1317
00:59:49,386 --> 00:59:50,922
That shit there's from Kenya.

1318
00:59:51,021 --> 00:59:52,967
Supposed to be a scurvy cure
for silverback gorillas,

1319
00:59:53,056 --> 00:59:55,366
but for humans, it just makes
them violently masturbate.

1320
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:56,699
Did I say crack? Because
I got more of that, too.

1321
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:57,795
Mmm-hmm. You said crack already.

1322
00:59:57,894 --> 01:00:00,875
I got some Ibuprofen, aspirin. I got
Flintstone Gummies if you want.

1323
01:00:00,964 --> 01:00:02,034
You seem good at your job.

1324
01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:03,772
We don't need any of that.
No. No.

1325
01:00:03,867 --> 01:00:08,941
We're just gonna take some
low-level, late '80s dirt pot.

1326
01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:11,451
You know, the kind with seeds in
it that you separate on a Frisbee.

1327
01:00:11,541 --> 01:00:13,578
Something you smoke
at a Bangles concert.

1328
01:00:13,643 --> 01:00:16,563
I didn't drive my ass across town to
sell some moms some fucking dirt pot.

1329
01:00:17,747 --> 01:00:19,124
Y'all gonna buy some Cloud 10.

1330
01:00:19,216 --> 01:00:20,627
I'm sorry, man. They're
just new to the game.

1331
01:00:20,750 --> 01:00:22,127
Ladies, come on.
This is Cloud 10.

1332
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:23,557
This is the shiz, a'ight?

1333
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:28,797
This is, like, 70% molly, 20%
Adderall, and it's 10% fun!

1334
01:00:28,892 --> 01:00:29,893
What's that last 10%?

1335
01:00:32,429 --> 01:00:33,430
Snow leopard. Fun.

1336
01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:36,171
No, seriously. I'm a nurse.
So, just give me a name.

1337
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:37,760
Mystic. I actually don't know.

1338
01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:38,973
You know what?
You seem like a pro,

1339
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:41,310
so we'll just
take a little ohwheed

1340
01:00:41,404 --> 01:00:44,783
and just a skosh of Cloud 10.

1341
01:00:44,841 --> 01:00:46,013
Are there hazelnuts in that?

1342
01:00:46,109 --> 01:00:47,829
I'll take the stuff for the dick.
I got you.

1343
01:00:47,911 --> 01:00:50,311
I'll take this.
Y'all mind if I hang out a bit?

1344
01:00:50,580 --> 01:00:51,684
Uh... Nah. Nah.

1345
01:00:52,249 --> 01:00:54,209
Please, please,
please don't. Nuh-uh.

1346
01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:56,127
Don't stay... Stay-Yep. Thanks.

1347
01:01:02,526 --> 01:01:05,837
Hey, you don't have any
Goldfish crackers up there?

1348
01:01:05,929 --> 01:01:07,670
Don't mean to be coy.

1349
01:01:07,764 --> 01:01:08,765
Oh, hi, Alex.

1350
01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:10,834
I'm just hiding this stevia.
That shit's expensive.

1351
01:01:10,934 --> 01:01:12,345
Koi, goldfish.

1352
01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:14,641
You.

1353
01:01:23,113 --> 01:01:28,187
You know, you're the type of badass
that I was susceptible to in my youth.

1354
01:01:35,058 --> 01:01:37,368
I used to make out with my
Stretch Armstrong doll,

1355
01:01:37,460 --> 01:01:41,408
so this is, like,
a full circle moment for me.

1356
01:01:41,498 --> 01:01:44,570
It's cool. I invented the Fleshlight.
I just do this shit on the side.

1357
01:01:46,336 --> 01:01:47,337
Right on.

1358
01:01:50,473 --> 01:01:51,474
Excuse me.

1359
01:01:58,648 --> 01:02:00,093
Hey. Turn the music off!

1360
01:02:01,718 --> 01:02:03,391
Everybody duck!

1361
01:02:04,654 --> 01:02:05,997
Quack, quack.

1362
01:02:11,494 --> 01:02:13,599
Hi. We donated already.

1363
01:02:13,697 --> 01:02:15,574
Hey. We received
a noise complaint?

1364
01:02:15,665 --> 01:02:18,271
Oh, Officer, we are so sorry.
We'll shut everything clown.

1365
01:02:18,368 --> 01:02:19,711
No, it's...

1366
01:02:19,769 --> 01:02:23,239
Wait a minute.
Your eyes are gorgeous.

1367
01:02:23,940 --> 01:02:27,513
You know you look exactly like
an Affleck brother, right?

1368
01:02:27,577 --> 01:02:30,421
I mean, it is like,
dead ringer times.

1369
01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:32,288
Any underage drinking going on?

1370
01:02:32,382 --> 01:02:34,123
Oh, no. No. No.

1371
01:02:34,217 --> 01:02:35,594
Everybody's double 21 in there.

1372
01:02:35,685 --> 01:02:36,789
Way over age.

1373
01:02:36,886 --> 01:02:38,365
We had a 60-year-old
buy our beer.

1374
01:02:38,455 --> 01:02:39,695
Well, you don't look
a day over 25.

1375
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:40,894
Thank you.

1376
01:02:42,292 --> 01:02:43,270
Thirty-five.

1377
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:44,361
Oh!

1378
01:02:44,461 --> 01:02:46,702
Just do me a favor and act
your ages and keep it down?

1379
01:02:48,031 --> 01:02:49,101
We will keep it down.

1380
01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:52,271
We will keep it so down,
like, below sea level.

1381
01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:53,609
Nice teamwork. Yeah.

1382
01:02:53,703 --> 01:02:55,046
I miss flirting with cops.

1383
01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:56,982
He was so afraid of us.

1384
01:02:57,073 --> 01:03:00,111
Motherfucker,
titty-sucker, two-bailed bitch.

1385
01:03:00,744 --> 01:03:03,452
First PoPo of the night
thwarted by charm.

1386
01:03:03,546 --> 01:03:06,152
Ellis Island, proceed, y'all!

1387
01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:14,735
Hey. I put in a request
for our special song

1388
01:03:14,824 --> 01:03:16,735
so we can do the Applebutt Jam.

1389
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:19,797
I don't think we should do that tonight.
That's not that cool.

1390
01:03:19,896 --> 01:03:22,342
No! Tonight is my night,
and it is cool,

1391
01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:24,911
because we're doing it,
and we're cool.

1392
01:04:10,613 --> 01:04:12,115
It's good, right?

1393
01:04:31,801 --> 01:04:32,973
Whoo!

1394
01:04:37,574 --> 01:04:39,178
Come here, peanut.

1395
01:04:39,242 --> 01:04:42,485
Tell Mama what's freaking you
the fuck out about time.

1396
01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:43,785
I don't know. It's just like...

1397
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:47,521
The other day,
I saw this old lady

1398
01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:49,655
looking at me through
a window on the street,

1399
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:52,563
and I felt bad
for her, you know?

1400
01:04:52,655 --> 01:04:55,499
I waved at her,
and she waved back at me,

1401
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:59,438
and then I realized
that was just my reflection.

1402
01:05:01,331 --> 01:05:05,370
It was just me and my
old beef jerky face.

1403
01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:11,108
Why does time do that to faces?

1404
01:05:11,207 --> 01:05:12,515
Why?

1405
01:05:15,378 --> 01:05:16,686
Don't do that.

1406
01:05:18,214 --> 01:05:21,593
When the time is right, smoke
this with your gentleman friend.

1407
01:05:21,684 --> 01:05:24,927
I'm gonna make space cakes for the rest
of the gang like a goddamn June Cleaver

1408
01:05:25,054 --> 01:05:26,965
because I have a domestic side.
Mmm-hmm.

1409
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:49,714
Look what fell into my cleavage.

1410
01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:51,918
Plinko! Jackpot! Let's go.

1411
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:56,423
Ooh...

1412
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,265
Do You play any sports?

1413
01:06:02,325 --> 01:06:03,929
Tennis, for a little while.

1414
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:06,838
That's what I was gonna guess.

1415
01:06:11,634 --> 01:06:14,945
Okay, Dribbles. I got you, girl.
Hey.

1416
01:06:15,738 --> 01:06:17,649
Let's go right in there.

1417
01:06:17,740 --> 01:06:20,914
Get you looking nice and clean
so you can throw up on it later.

1418
01:06:29,352 --> 01:06:32,629
You look like you naturally
have no body hair whatsoever.

1419
01:06:33,857 --> 01:06:35,495
Do you oil yourself up a lot?

1420
01:06:35,925 --> 01:06:37,836
When I need to get
through a narrow shaft.

1421
01:06:37,927 --> 01:06:41,170
Danger. Walk away.
That's a black diamond slope.

1422
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,344
Why ain't you partying?

1423
01:06:46,436 --> 01:06:50,179
Because I'm the designated mom tonight.
I'm keeping everybody safe.

1424
01:06:51,274 --> 01:06:53,015
Do you have kids?

1425
01:06:53,109 --> 01:06:54,452
I'm sure I do.

1426
01:06:56,318 --> 01:06:57,556
Shit.

1427
01:07:01,681 --> 01:07:03,282
Hey, Kate. You remember
when you scaled that

1428
01:07:03,384 --> 01:07:04,957
sucker right there
up to the last beam

1429
01:07:05,023 --> 01:07:07,197
and you hollered,
"I'm the bomb!"

1430
01:07:07,293 --> 01:07:08,963
Like it was yesterday, yo.

1431
01:07:09,020 --> 01:07:10,297
Well, come on, Kate.
What are you waiting for?

1432
01:07:10,361 --> 01:07:11,802
Come on, everybody. Kate, Kate!

1433
01:07:11,860 --> 01:07:13,966
Kate, Kate, Kate!

1434
01:07:18,134 --> 01:07:21,638
When you're sober, it's kind of
like, "Why would anyone do this?"

1435
01:07:23,973 --> 01:07:25,975
Kate, Kate, Kate!

1436
01:07:27,677 --> 01:07:29,247
Come on, Kate. Come on!

1437
01:07:29,345 --> 01:07:31,552
This is scary as shart.

1438
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:32,820
How did I not die doing this?

1439
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:35,089
Don't try this.
This is not safe.

1440
01:07:35,184 --> 01:07:37,061
Somebody moved these bricks.

1441
01:07:37,153 --> 01:07:39,861
Hang tight, lady!

1442
01:07:40,023 --> 01:07:42,936
This is for
the fucking birds. Shitters.

1443
01:07:43,026 --> 01:07:45,233
Oh, you guys.
You guys are gonna love this.

1444
01:07:45,328 --> 01:07:47,433
Don't move. Stay right there.

1445
01:07:48,831 --> 01:07:50,105
All right. Ready? Ready?

1446
01:07:50,199 --> 01:07:52,201
Okay, guys,
can you guess who I am? Ready?

1447
01:07:53,002 --> 01:07:57,951
You wanna play rough? Okay. Say
hello to my little friend!

1448
01:07:58,041 --> 01:07:59,918
- Cheech! No, Chong.
- No, no, no.

1449
01:08:00,009 --> 01:08:02,387
Say hello to my little friend!

1450
01:08:04,681 --> 01:08:06,388
Tim Allen. No.

1451
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:11,365
Say hello to my little friend.
Bullets? Nothing.

1452
01:08:12,689 --> 01:08:16,432
I love cocaine! Because I
have a scar on my face!

1453
01:08:26,603 --> 01:08:29,106
It's stevia! Psych!

1454
01:08:29,205 --> 01:08:30,616
It's stevia!

1455
01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:38,281
Hmm...

1456
01:08:38,381 --> 01:08:39,724
Come on. You can get this!

1457
01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:51,105
So, if I read this,

1458
01:08:51,561 --> 01:08:53,837
will I get, like, amazing
insight into who you are'?

1459
01:08:53,930 --> 01:08:55,739
I am afraid so. Okay.

1460
01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:58,836
Way behind the curtain.
Like, in the broom closet.

1461
01:08:58,935 --> 01:09:00,744
Well, I like broom closets.
Here we go.

1462
01:09:01,237 --> 01:09:03,148
"I tried tampons."

1463
01:09:03,239 --> 01:09:05,412
"No thanks' Tom Hanks."

1464
01:09:05,575 --> 01:09:07,919
"It felt like I fell
down hard on a popsicle."

1465
01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:09,149
Oh, man.

1466
01:09:09,245 --> 01:09:10,747
That's from last week.

1467
01:09:12,582 --> 01:09:13,583
It's good stuff in here.

1468
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:14,751
It's my gift to you.

1469
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,819
I love it. I want more.

1470
01:09:16,919 --> 01:09:18,921
Now you tell me a secret.

1471
01:09:19,355 --> 01:09:20,356
<i>Okay.</i>

1472
01:09:21,591 --> 01:09:23,969
I lost a whole bunch
of weight recently.

1473
01:09:24,027 --> 01:09:26,439
Like, 70 pounds.

1474
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:28,032
Wow. That's great.
Yeah, it's a lot.

1475
01:09:28,131 --> 01:09:29,940
All right,
tell me something else.

1476
01:09:30,199 --> 01:09:32,145
On, uh...

1477
01:09:34,303 --> 01:09:35,509
I got divorced.

1478
01:09:39,142 --> 01:09:41,952
So, you lost, like, 200 pounds.

1479
01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:49,619
Let's...

1480
01:09:50,319 --> 01:09:51,457
You wanna try something?

1481
01:09:51,621 --> 01:09:52,691
<i>Okay.</i>

1482
01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:53,859
Um...

1483
01:09:55,224 --> 01:09:56,965
On the count of three...
Mmm-hmm.

1484
01:09:57,493 --> 01:10:00,906
Let's say what
we're both afraid of.

1485
01:10:04,067 --> 01:10:05,978
I mean,
unless you don't want to.

1486
01:10:06,035 --> 01:10:08,015
No, I'm not afraid to say it.

1487
01:10:09,472 --> 01:10:11,008
Okay? Okay, ready?

1488
01:10:11,140 --> 01:10:12,585
One.

1489
01:10:12,675 --> 01:10:13,710
Two.

1490
01:10:13,810 --> 01:10:15,084
Three.

1491
01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:18,817
Alligators. Choking on a steak.

1492
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:22,161
Not great.

1493
01:10:25,755 --> 01:10:27,598
Let's really say
what we're afraid of.

1494
01:10:28,257 --> 01:10:29,759
Like, for real.

1495
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:32,233
Okay, O Kay?

1496
01:10:36,232 --> 01:10:37,404
Ready?

1497
01:10:38,701 --> 01:10:41,511
One, two, three.

1498
01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:44,173
I'm afraid that I'm boring... I'm
afraid that losing weight...

1499
01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:46,617
and I have too much baggage.
Won't fix everything.

1500
01:10:53,015 --> 01:10:57,521
Did you lose weight to
gain self-confidence?

1501
01:10:58,054 --> 01:10:59,192
No.

1502
01:11:00,056 --> 01:11:02,058
I think I lost the weight

1503
01:11:02,191 --> 01:11:06,765
so I could gain a better view
of my perfect penis.

1504
01:11:08,598 --> 01:11:10,202
I missed the little guy.
Not little.

1505
01:11:12,368 --> 01:11:14,370
Medium. I miss the medium guy.

1506
01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:19,948
You are so not boring,
by the way.

1507
01:11:20,042 --> 01:11:22,386
You've already
fixed so many things.

1508
01:11:25,148 --> 01:11:27,594
There used to be
so much stuff here.

1509
01:11:29,051 --> 01:11:31,554
This attic made
me feel very safe.

1510
01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:35,728
Well, a house
is just a building.

1511
01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:39,133
Home is a feeling.

1512
01:11:40,229 --> 01:11:41,902
That's beautiful. Thank you.

1513
01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:42,965
Who said that?

1514
01:11:43,065 --> 01:11:45,238
I did. Just now.

1515
01:11:54,243 --> 01:11:55,415
Ugh.

1516
01:11:56,913 --> 01:11:58,586
Were you shotgunning me?
I am so sorry.

1517
01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:00,208
I misjudged the shotgun.
I was going to.

1518
01:12:00,249 --> 01:12:01,922
It's my fault.
I was showboating.

1519
01:12:02,018 --> 01:12:03,656
I am so sorry about that.

1520
01:12:04,487 --> 01:12:05,932
You talking to me?

1521
01:12:06,455 --> 01:12:08,025
Is you talking to me?

1522
01:12:08,457 --> 01:12:09,527
Uh, Robert Pacino.

1523
01:12:09,625 --> 01:12:10,797
Aah! No bullets!

1524
01:12:11,427 --> 01:12:15,807
Why don't you try sticking
your head up your ass? See if it fits?

1525
01:12:15,932 --> 01:12:17,878
What's the one... Grimace? No.

1526
01:12:18,434 --> 01:12:23,645
Why don't you try sticking your
head up your ass?

1527
01:12:23,706 --> 01:12:25,344
Why don't you try
sticking your head up your ass?

1528
01:12:25,441 --> 01:12:27,785
See if it fits! See if it fits!

1529
01:12:27,877 --> 01:12:29,823
Stevia!

1530
01:12:29,879 --> 01:12:32,018
Why don't you stick
your head up your ass?

1531
01:12:32,114 --> 01:12:33,889
See if <i>n</i> fits?

1532
01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:39,823
Why don't you try sticking your head
up your ass and see if it fits?

1533
01:12:40,456 --> 01:12:41,400
Pass.

1534
01:12:41,490 --> 01:12:43,890
Why don't you stick your head
up your ass and see if it fits?

1535
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,132
<i>Scarface!</i>

1536
01:12:45,628 --> 01:12:47,403
<i>Scarface. Scarface?</i>

1537
01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:48,505
Yes!

1538
01:12:48,564 --> 01:12:51,408
That's who I was
the whole fucking time!

1539
01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:52,501
Awesome, man.

1540
01:12:54,003 --> 01:12:56,005
You got to want
it a little less.

1541
01:12:56,072 --> 01:12:57,983
I can feel my hair growing!

1542
01:12:59,008 --> 01:13:00,419
Alex, come on.

1543
01:13:00,509 --> 01:13:02,318
Do you hear that? It's Tipsy!

1544
01:13:02,411 --> 01:13:04,755
Oh, I love this song!
I got to dance. Here we go.

1545
01:13:04,914 --> 01:13:06,689
Oh. Oh!

1546
01:13:06,749 --> 01:13:07,853
Hey, you backing it up!

1547
01:13:08,251 --> 01:13:09,525
This is your theme now.

1548
01:13:09,585 --> 01:13:10,723
Who, me? Or, e'rybody?

1549
01:13:10,853 --> 01:13:11,923
Ah, e'rybody.

1550
01:13:12,021 --> 01:13:14,194
<i>'Cause e'rybody
got got to get tipsy.</i>

1551
01:13:14,257 --> 01:13:16,203
What?

1552
01:13:16,259 --> 01:13:17,260
Yeah!

1553
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:19,533
<i>E'rybody in the club get tipsy.</i>

1554
01:13:19,595 --> 01:13:22,201
Not just you.
Not just me. E'rybody.

1555
01:13:22,265 --> 01:13:25,212
E'rybody. E'ry day,
e'ry hour, e'ry minute.

1556
01:13:25,701 --> 01:13:26,736
Huh!

1557
01:13:29,272 --> 01:13:30,342
Oh, my God!

1558
01:13:31,774 --> 01:13:34,220
Oh, God. Wait, come here.
Come here.

1559
01:13:35,511 --> 01:13:37,218
Here we go. My dad's
gonna murder me!

1560
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:40,420
Shh. Maura, look at me. I can fix this.

1561
01:13:40,516 --> 01:13:42,518
Oh, God. Go. Go, go, go.

1562
01:13:43,119 --> 01:13:44,359
Whoa! No, no, no!

1563
01:13:45,788 --> 01:13:47,461
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1564
01:13:47,757 --> 01:13:48,963
No!

1565
01:14:02,705 --> 01:14:04,082
I'm really

1566
01:14:05,074 --> 01:14:06,075
itchy.

1567
01:14:06,409 --> 01:14:07,444
It went up my nose.

1568
01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:09,283
It went up my butt.

1569
01:14:09,378 --> 01:14:10,379
Are we gonna die?

1570
01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:12,824
No, this stuff's safe. This is
all from the '70s.

1571
01:14:13,883 --> 01:14:16,887
Wow! This is fucked up!

1572
01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:26,600
I wanna do that foam thing like
we saw at the Fart Mitzvah.

1573
01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:29,840
Ah!

1574
01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:34,842
Ooh!

1575
01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:37,975
I need to talk to you outside.
Now. Oh. Oh.

1576
01:14:38,074 --> 01:14:41,783
Well, let's do this. My earrings
are coming off, bohatch!

1577
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:44,415
Why? You gonna hit me
with your long-ass earlobes?

1578
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:45,800
Oh.

1579
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,656
I have been waiting
a long time for this.

1580
01:14:51,087 --> 01:14:54,193
Hey!

1581
01:14:55,124 --> 01:14:56,501
Let me in!

1582
01:15:00,696 --> 01:15:02,369
This is bullshit!

1583
01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:10,146
Hey. How's everything going?

1584
01:15:10,206 --> 01:15:12,812
I'm crushing it.
How's the man-harvest going?

1585
01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:14,218
James is so hot.

1586
01:15:14,310 --> 01:15:17,348
My high school heart cramp
has turned into a heart-on.

1587
01:15:17,446 --> 01:15:20,484
I have a heart-on for him.
I have a raging heart-on.

1588
01:15:20,616 --> 01:15:22,493
I don't get it. Explain it more.
I have a...

1589
01:15:22,618 --> 01:15:24,564
- Who the hell did that'?
- I did.

1590
01:15:25,287 --> 01:15:27,392
You are so badass!

1591
01:15:28,891 --> 01:15:30,336
Fuck the Geernts!

1592
01:15:30,393 --> 01:15:31,804
Okay, I'm gonna
dive back in. Bye!

1593
01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:33,340
Fucking party.

1594
01:15:40,403 --> 01:15:41,746
Jackpot.

1595
01:15:58,921 --> 01:16:01,162
Foam party!

1596
01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:03,703
Strip it down, town!

1597
01:16:04,093 --> 01:16:06,733
Oh, shit. It's my parents!

1598
01:16:06,829 --> 01:16:09,708
Shut the fuck up!
It's her parents!

1599
01:16:09,765 --> 01:16:14,339
Everyone, I'm gonna sneeze,
shut the fuck up!

1600
01:16:18,774 --> 01:16:19,775
Hello?

1601
01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:22,913
You're home! We're coming over.

1602
01:16:23,012 --> 01:16:24,958
Oh, no, don't come over.

1603
01:16:25,047 --> 01:16:28,460
We're just in our pj's
watching Risky Business.

1604
01:16:28,551 --> 01:16:34,024
Maura told us the wonderful news about
you and Haley moving to Orlando!

1605
01:16:34,723 --> 01:16:36,430
<i>And Wu got a job!</i>

1606
01:16:36,525 --> 01:16:38,266
Not hers to tell, but okay.

1607
01:16:38,360 --> 01:16:40,931
<i>Dad and t got an idea.</i>

1608
01:16:41,030 --> 01:16:42,941
And we're only medium drunk.

1609
01:16:43,032 --> 01:16:44,773
Could you headline
news it for me?

1610
01:16:44,867 --> 01:16:46,039
Yes.

1611
01:16:46,302 --> 01:16:50,751
We are gonna give you 50% of the
money from the sale of the house

1612
01:16:50,806 --> 01:16:54,583
<i>and then we're gonna use the
other 50% to pay off the condo.</i>

1613
01:16:54,643 --> 01:16:56,316
And we're leaving
Maura the stocks.

1614
01:16:56,579 --> 01:16:59,287
<i>We though! That
you could use the money</i>

1615
01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:02,089
<i>to buy a little house
for you and Haley.</i>

1616
01:17:02,151 --> 01:17:04,097
Would I have to
pay the money back?

1617
01:17:04,220 --> 01:17:06,097
Or would it be more
of a "wink-wink" loan?

1618
01:17:06,155 --> 01:17:07,395
We're giving it to you.

1619
01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,491
<i>For free.</i>

1620
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:09,625
<i>As a love gift.</i>

1621
01:17:09,725 --> 01:17:12,331
That solves a lot of things.

1622
01:17:13,329 --> 01:17:15,605
Okay, I got to go now.
Thanks so much.

1623
01:17:15,664 --> 01:17:16,734
<i>Okle dokle.</i>

1624
01:17:16,832 --> 01:17:18,834
Wash and dry any
tea cups you use,

1625
01:17:18,968 --> 01:17:20,970
and we're very
happy for you, honey.

1626
01:17:21,070 --> 01:17:22,276
Okay, thanks, bye!

1627
01:17:23,839 --> 01:17:25,580
Holy shit.

1628
01:17:34,016 --> 01:17:35,962
Holy shit.

1629
01:17:36,018 --> 01:17:38,123
Rob, Rob, Rob!

1630
01:17:39,955 --> 01:17:42,799
I'm the bomb!

1631
01:17:43,592 --> 01:17:46,129
I'm the bomb! I'm the bomb!

1632
01:17:52,368 --> 01:17:53,540
Okay. Guys?

1633
01:17:53,636 --> 01:17:55,638
I'm actually gonna
need everyone to just

1634
01:17:55,704 --> 01:17:59,174
start cleaning up the area
where they're standing.

1635
01:18:07,616 --> 01:18:09,323
<i>Everybody, gamer round, okay?</i>

1636
01:18:09,385 --> 01:18:10,887
<i>I just smoked some
21st century pot.</i>

1637
01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:14,801
<i>So I need to say my mind.
Make it quick.</i>

1638
01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:16,666
Release your boobs!

1639
01:18:16,725 --> 01:18:18,398
<i>No, my boobs are
sleeping right now.</i>

1640
01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:20,565
Six more weeks of winter!

1641
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:24,838
<i>I wanna thank my sister, Kate,
for holding down the fort</i>

1642
01:18:24,900 --> 01:18:27,813
<i>and helping me have
the best night of my life.</i>

1643
01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:29,178
<i>Wrapping it up.</i>

1644
01:18:29,238 --> 01:18:30,808
<i>In the spirit of my sister,</i>

1645
01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:35,185
<i>I encourage all of you to make
your mark on this house tonight.</i>

1646
01:18:35,244 --> 01:18:36,552
<i>No, do not make your mark.</i>

1647
01:18:37,980 --> 01:18:39,015
<i>Where's my handyman?</i>

1648
01:18:39,081 --> 01:18:41,186
<i>Hey.</i> I <i>like that
you know who you are.</i>

1649
01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:43,354
<i>And that you ask
for what you want.</i>

1650
01:18:43,419 --> 01:18:45,490
<i>And I think you're really cute.
Thank you.</i>

1651
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:47,761
<i>But, whatever, dude. A lo! Of
people are cute, so relax.</i>

1652
01:18:47,890 --> 01:18:48,994
Okay.

1653
01:18:49,058 --> 01:18:51,095
<i>Anyway, seriously, you guys.</i>

1654
01:18:51,193 --> 01:18:54,868
<i>Remember who you really are
and be that you!</i>

1655
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:57,870
- Be that what?
- You!

1656
01:18:57,933 --> 01:18:59,742
<i>- What that you?
- Be!</i>

1657
01:18:59,835 --> 01:19:01,246
<i>Be what you?</i>

1658
01:19:01,337 --> 01:19:02,407
That!

1659
01:19:02,504 --> 01:19:03,539
You!

1660
01:19:03,606 --> 01:19:05,646
It's "that,"
it's fucking "be that you!"

1661
01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,016
Be that you! Be that you!
Be that you!

1662
01:19:07,109 --> 01:19:08,429
All right, don't yell at me.

1663
01:19:08,510 --> 01:19:10,046
I just did it three times!
Don't yell at me!

1664
01:19:10,112 --> 01:19:11,216
Who's yelling?

1665
01:19:11,280 --> 01:19:12,623
<i>One more time. Be what you?</i>

1666
01:19:12,781 --> 01:19:14,089
That!

1667
01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:15,787
You got it! I'm out.

1668
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:20,394
<i>Thank you.
Good night. We are closed.</i>

1669
01:19:20,456 --> 01:19:22,527
<i>Take the party outside!</i>

1670
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:26,405
No, that way.

1671
01:19:26,462 --> 01:19:27,634
Guys, that way!

1672
01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:35,543
I liked your speech.

1673
01:19:35,638 --> 01:19:36,878
I'm meeting you in the bedroom.

1674
01:19:37,539 --> 01:19:39,746
I'm going in there to fix the drywall.

1675
01:19:39,808 --> 01:19:42,220
Okay. Okay.

1676
01:19:43,279 --> 01:19:45,281
- Excuse me, please.
- Excuse me.

1677
01:19:47,549 --> 01:19:50,325
Alex, take your dick out of
the paint, right this minute!

1678
01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:52,922
No! I'm gonna draw suh-in!

1679
01:19:53,956 --> 01:19:55,958
I'm like a little
Pablo Dickasso!

1680
01:19:58,260 --> 01:19:59,967
Hey, man. I got you. Shit!

1681
01:20:03,265 --> 01:20:06,303
Yes, my neighbors are having a loud
party, and I'd like to complain.

1682
01:20:06,769 --> 01:20:08,407
I need you to shut it down.

1683
01:20:10,005 --> 01:20:11,075
Oh, man.

1684
01:20:11,140 --> 01:20:13,017
Who called the cops?

1685
01:20:14,009 --> 01:20:16,114
Having a pretty big party, huh?

1686
01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,590
Oh, is 500 people too much?

1687
01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,024
POPO! POPO!

1688
01:20:20,282 --> 01:20:22,353
Oh, somebody call a stripper?

1689
01:20:22,451 --> 01:20:24,829
You gonna take your clothes off for us?
You can't come in here.

1690
01:20:24,953 --> 01:20:27,194
Without the judge signing the thing.
I got this.

1691
01:20:27,289 --> 01:20:28,529
This is where I live.

1692
01:20:28,624 --> 01:20:29,932
This is our house. Yep.

1693
01:20:29,992 --> 01:20:31,801
This where we live, okay?

1694
01:20:31,860 --> 01:20:34,033
And this is our property
for the next 24 hours.

1695
01:20:34,129 --> 01:20:36,700
A lot of sex is gonna happen.
A lot of sexy times.

1696
01:20:36,799 --> 01:20:38,005
You can't stop that.

1697
01:20:38,100 --> 01:20:40,171
Last time I checked,
sex wasn't against the law,

1698
01:20:40,269 --> 01:20:42,029
<i>as</i> much as you would
love that, wouldn't you?

1699
01:20:42,137 --> 01:20:43,946
Maura, please behave. Why
don't you step off, blue?

1700
01:20:44,006 --> 01:20:46,145
Don't you know I'm loco? Shit!

1701
01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:47,380
Now we know that.

1702
01:20:47,476 --> 01:20:48,477
Officer Donuts.

1703
01:20:49,278 --> 01:20:50,154
Why don't you go
back into your squad car

1704
01:20:50,279 --> 01:20:51,849
and go save
a kitten from a tree,

1705
01:20:51,947 --> 01:20:53,790
because these
pussies are doing fine.

1706
01:20:54,049 --> 01:20:56,188
All right? Clean the donuts
out of your ears

1707
01:20:56,285 --> 01:20:58,026
and hear the words that are
coming out of my mouth.

1708
01:20:58,120 --> 01:21:02,034
I will protect my all's property from
all y'all and that's including moi.

1709
01:21:02,291 --> 01:21:03,235
That means "me."

1710
01:21:03,359 --> 01:21:05,066
It means "me." I don't...
It doesn't mean you.

1711
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:07,572
I don't need to protect anything from her.
That's my sister.

1712
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:09,972
Right. From the same
mister, who's our dad.

1713
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:12,873
So, wrap your mind
around that, Cap'n Crunch.

1714
01:21:12,968 --> 01:21:14,003
Capeach?

1715
01:21:14,069 --> 01:21:16,174
I know something about you.
You're a nice person, right?

1716
01:21:16,238 --> 01:21:20,380
And you look like a Ken doll, hopefully
with the genitals. Fingers crossed.

1717
01:21:20,476 --> 01:21:23,355
You've picked a very great profession.
And I salute you.

1718
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:25,425
But you know what?
This is how I'll salute you.

1719
01:21:25,514 --> 01:21:27,391
Like this. I'm sorry.

1720
01:21:27,483 --> 01:21:28,689
Wait, that didn't
happen, nobody saw that.

1721
01:21:28,817 --> 01:21:30,057
I got this.

1722
01:21:30,152 --> 01:21:31,654
What are you writing down?
Nothing. It's my pad.

1723
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,063
Here, I have something
you should write down.

1724
01:21:33,155 --> 01:21:34,429
E-A-T.

1725
01:21:35,657 --> 01:21:36,601
S-H-I-T.

1726
01:21:36,692 --> 01:21:40,936
Okay, my sister is clearly riding
the ditch at this late hour.

1727
01:21:41,029 --> 01:21:42,508
Can you shut this shit down?

1728
01:21:42,564 --> 01:21:44,066
Was that Maura Ellis?

1729
01:21:44,166 --> 01:21:45,167
Yeah.

1730
01:21:46,502 --> 01:21:48,004
She went to the sophomore formal

1731
01:21:48,103 --> 01:21:49,582
with my cousin
who has spina bifida.

1732
01:21:49,671 --> 01:21:51,344
Of course she did!

1733
01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:54,251
She is a lovely person.
He still talks about it.

1734
01:21:54,376 --> 01:21:56,083
Yeah. You know what?

1735
01:21:57,513 --> 01:21:58,719
You guys enjoy your party.

1736
01:21:58,847 --> 01:22:00,451
No. No, no.

1737
01:22:00,549 --> 01:22:01,687
No. No! Wait!

1738
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:05,459
There's a drunk, blind guy
swinging a gun around!

1739
01:22:05,554 --> 01:22:07,056
No way. Enjoy!

1740
01:22:07,122 --> 01:22:08,897
Fuck!

1741
01:22:14,797 --> 01:22:15,775
Hey.

1742
01:22:15,864 --> 01:22:17,400
How's it going in here?

1743
01:22:17,466 --> 01:22:18,911
Good, I think.

1744
01:22:18,967 --> 01:22:20,537
Yeah, I think you're all set.

1745
01:22:20,602 --> 01:22:23,048
I'm gonna have to come back
tomorrow and finish this,

1746
01:22:23,105 --> 01:22:27,247
because I am drunk and stoned.

1747
01:22:27,309 --> 01:22:29,220
Well, I'm totally sober, so.
Yeah.

1748
01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:30,450
I did a really bad job.

1749
01:22:30,546 --> 01:22:32,457
You're very tall.
How tall are you?

1750
01:22:32,981 --> 01:22:36,758
About 6'3". With the
ladder, about 7'6".

1751
01:22:37,052 --> 01:22:38,759
So, I'm just gonna...

1752
01:22:39,321 --> 01:22:41,562
Thanks so much for
cleaning this all up.

1753
01:22:42,491 --> 01:22:43,561
Oh, yeah.

1754
01:22:45,294 --> 01:22:48,298
Do you wanna keep
working off the clock?

1755
01:22:48,664 --> 01:22:50,666
Yeah. Because my bed is broken.

1756
01:22:50,766 --> 01:22:51,767
Do you want me to fix it?

1757
01:22:51,834 --> 01:22:52,904
Yeah. Lock the door.

1758
01:22:55,003 --> 01:22:58,473
People, I'm in charge here,
and I say it's over.

1759
01:22:58,574 --> 01:23:01,748
Okay? We had a great time.
Let's wrap it up.

1760
01:23:01,810 --> 01:23:02,845
No!

1761
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:06,190
Why? What?

1762
01:23:08,984 --> 01:23:10,657
This is such a brilliant idea!

1763
01:23:10,752 --> 01:23:11,753
Free slicking.

1764
01:23:14,022 --> 01:23:16,832
I wish we had some lubricant.

1765
01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:19,966
What perfume is on you?

1766
01:23:20,028 --> 01:23:21,473
You like that? Yeah, I do.

1767
01:23:21,530 --> 01:23:25,979
It's Risky by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
You can only get it at Kohl's.

1768
01:23:26,034 --> 01:23:29,481
I'm wearing
Erection by Calvin Klein.

1769
01:23:29,538 --> 01:23:33,315
I cannot!

1770
01:23:35,444 --> 01:23:39,483
What did I ever do to you
to make you abhor me so?

1771
01:23:39,548 --> 01:23:40,959
Are you seriously asking?

1772
01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:42,357
You probably don't remember.

1773
01:23:42,484 --> 01:23:43,792
Oh, I remember.

1774
01:23:43,852 --> 01:23:46,526
We were about to have the
best Ellis Island party ever

1775
01:23:46,622 --> 01:23:49,626
because my cousin met John Stamos
at Disney and he was coming.

1776
01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:52,297
But you narced to your cop dad.

1777
01:23:52,361 --> 01:23:54,363
I narced because he made me!

1778
01:23:54,463 --> 01:23:56,204
How? How did he even know?

1779
01:23:56,298 --> 01:23:59,507
Because when I found out that I
wasn't invited to your party

1780
01:23:59,568 --> 01:24:03,914
it hurt me so very deep'
that I threw up really hard.

1781
01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:06,076
Why didn't you invite me?

1782
01:24:08,410 --> 01:24:10,151
Why?

1783
01:24:10,812 --> 01:24:13,190
I was kind and clean!

1784
01:24:13,248 --> 01:24:14,488
And I got mostly B's!

1785
01:24:14,583 --> 01:24:15,823
I know, I cheated off you.

1786
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:18,694
And then you decided
that I was a "no."

1787
01:24:18,754 --> 01:24:21,758
And then everybody decided
that I was a "no"!

1788
01:24:21,857 --> 01:24:25,327
And then guess who decided
that I was a "no"?

1789
01:24:25,427 --> 01:24:26,735
<i>The Bachelor?</i>

1790
01:24:26,995 --> 01:24:28,030
Me.

1791
01:24:28,864 --> 01:24:33,677
So, I have decided that
tonight I deserve to be here.

1792
01:24:34,770 --> 01:24:37,512
Tonight, I am a "yes."

1793
01:24:38,540 --> 01:24:41,350
I am a "hell yes"!

1794
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:43,856
I am a "yeah."

1795
01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:45,892
I am a "hell yeah."

1796
01:24:45,948 --> 01:24:47,950
I am a "fuck to the yeah"!

1797
01:24:48,050 --> 01:24:50,792
Wordsmith.
I am a "yippie-ki-yay yes"!

1798
01:24:51,787 --> 01:24:53,357
And you know what
the saddest part is?

1799
01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:54,423
Your vagina?

1800
01:24:54,556 --> 01:24:55,557
No.

1801
01:24:55,624 --> 01:24:57,194
The saddest part

1802
01:24:58,060 --> 01:25:00,904
is that you and I used to
have a blast in grade school.

1803
01:25:00,963 --> 01:25:03,443
And we would probably
still be friends

1804
01:25:03,532 --> 01:25:06,479
if you weren't such
a selfish hothead.

1805
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:10,311
I am not a selfish hothead!

1806
01:25:10,973 --> 01:25:12,748
Put that phone down!
Give me that. No!

1807
01:25:12,808 --> 01:25:13,912
Give me that phone!
Give me that!

1808
01:25:14,042 --> 01:25:15,146
No! Don't touch my phone.

1809
01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:17,249
Maura! Maura!

1810
01:25:22,551 --> 01:25:24,258
Hi, honey.

1811
01:25:24,319 --> 01:25:25,923
Hi, Mom, I'm here.

1812
01:25:25,988 --> 01:25:27,262
I'm at Gram and Gramps'.

1813
01:25:27,322 --> 01:25:30,428
You're here? In Orlando? Yeah.

1814
01:25:30,492 --> 01:25:32,597
Oh, great. Okay.

1815
01:25:32,661 --> 01:25:34,766
<i>They told me that they're
gonna help us get a house.</i>

1816
01:25:34,830 --> 01:25:37,106
Do you want me to come down
there and we can talk about it?

1817
01:25:37,165 --> 01:25:40,772
Uh, we're all pretty
wiped from packing.

1818
01:25:40,836 --> 01:25:42,406
You know, I would say maybe
just get some rest and...

1819
01:25:42,471 --> 01:25:44,246
So come over in the morning.

1820
01:25:44,339 --> 01:25:46,785
<i>Wait. You want me to come
there in the morning?</i>

1821
01:25:46,842 --> 01:25:48,947
You have been begging me for
weeks to tell you where I am,

1822
01:25:49,011 --> 01:25:50,615
and now that I'm here
you're gonna blow me off?

1823
01:25:50,679 --> 01:25:51,817
<i>No, I'm not blowing you off!</i>

1824
01:25:51,913 --> 01:25:54,587
I'm so excited! We're getting a house,
and you're gonna have your own room.

1825
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:56,755
I got a baloney dick!

1826
01:25:56,818 --> 01:25:58,798
Who has a baloney dick? Nobody.

1827
01:26:00,255 --> 01:26:01,928
Are you at a party right now?

1828
01:26:02,858 --> 01:26:05,498
Earlier. We had
a packing cookout.

1829
01:26:05,594 --> 01:26:07,870
Cookout with your cock oui.

1830
01:26:08,296 --> 01:26:09,502
I'm on the phone!

1831
01:26:09,598 --> 01:26:11,600
You say that
you want a fresh start

1832
01:26:11,667 --> 01:26:14,443
and everyone
is trying to help us out,

1833
01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,449
<i>and this is how you thank them?</i>

1834
01:26:16,538 --> 01:26:19,041
It's not what you think. No,
it's exactly what I think.

1835
01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:21,279
I start trusting you again
and then you turn around

1836
01:26:21,343 --> 01:26:24,104
and you start acting like one of the Rea!
Housewives of Orange County.

1837
01:26:24,146 --> 01:26:26,524
Can you just give me a chance
to make it right?

1838
01:26:26,615 --> 01:26:29,061
No! I don't wanna live
with my loser mom who parties.

1839
01:26:30,686 --> 01:26:33,526
You know what? Tonight, I'm actually
the only person who's not partying.

1840
01:26:34,690 --> 01:26:36,169
Yeah, right.

1841
01:26:43,065 --> 01:26:44,635
Fuck it.

1842
01:26:48,737 --> 01:26:50,910
<i>Kale! Kate! Kate!</i>

1843
01:27:16,898 --> 01:27:19,879
Hey. Lollapazuzu,
I'm partying now.

1844
01:27:19,935 --> 01:27:21,175
You ready for me?

1845
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:22,681
I've been ready.

1846
01:27:22,771 --> 01:27:24,910
My safe word is "Keep going."

1847
01:27:25,006 --> 01:27:27,111
I don't need one. You will.

1848
01:27:29,177 --> 01:27:30,520
I don't have insurance.

1849
01:28:03,879 --> 01:28:06,792
You have such
a good, solid, man face.

1850
01:28:06,915 --> 01:28:08,724
I'm gonna do stuff to you right now.
YOU are?

1851
01:28:08,784 --> 01:28:09,785
Yes. Okay.

1852
01:28:09,885 --> 01:28:10,920
Put your pants off. I'm sorry.

1853
01:28:10,986 --> 01:28:12,431
I meant to say that
a little smoother

1854
01:28:12,487 --> 01:28:14,228
but I'm very, very drunk,
plus stoned. Let's go.

1855
01:28:14,289 --> 01:28:16,269
Just open up your parts.
Put your pants off.

1856
01:28:16,324 --> 01:28:17,928
No, no, no. I'm putting
them off right now.

1857
01:28:17,993 --> 01:28:19,336
Yep, here we go. Yeah!

1858
01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:25,970
You have kids?

1859
01:28:26,067 --> 01:28:29,947
Two girls in Korea.
Oh, I miss them bad.

1860
01:28:30,338 --> 01:28:31,783
So far.

1861
01:28:31,840 --> 01:28:35,583
I put their hairs in my bra.

1862
01:28:35,644 --> 01:28:39,251
I miss how my daughter smells
when she has wet hair.

1863
01:28:40,448 --> 01:28:42,018
She die'? No.

1864
01:28:42,951 --> 01:28:46,455
I haven't been able to find
her, like, all summer.

1865
01:28:46,755 --> 01:28:48,257
That is fucked up.

1866
01:28:48,356 --> 01:28:50,495
Don't judge me. Your kids
are in another country.

1867
01:28:50,592 --> 01:28:52,094
That's fucked up.

1868
01:28:52,828 --> 01:28:56,776
I work my butt to save my kids

1869
01:28:57,432 --> 01:28:59,207
so they can come live with me.

1870
01:28:59,634 --> 01:29:01,841
I used to be
pediatric radiologist.

1871
01:29:02,270 --> 01:29:03,271
What?

1872
01:29:03,338 --> 01:29:05,818
What do you do for your kid?

1873
01:29:06,208 --> 01:29:07,209
Hmm?

1874
01:29:18,453 --> 01:29:19,454
You wanna hug?

1875
01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:24,828
Yeah, give this
messy bitch a hug.

1876
01:29:25,527 --> 01:29:26,767
Katie, what's the matter, baby?

1877
01:29:27,295 --> 01:29:30,401
Aw, look at you. Don't cry.
It's gonna make me cry.

1878
01:29:30,498 --> 01:29:33,672
People are really working
their shit out at this thing.

1879
01:29:33,735 --> 01:29:35,578
This is like Korean drama.

1880
01:29:36,471 --> 01:29:38,144
Heads up! Whoo!

1881
01:29:54,823 --> 01:29:56,234
You're out of booze.

1882
01:29:56,925 --> 01:29:58,871
I'm on it.

1883
01:29:59,861 --> 01:30:01,738
Party mom to the rescue.

1884
01:30:01,830 --> 01:30:03,707
Okay, we're gonna
get started in one second.

1885
01:30:03,765 --> 01:30:04,835
Okay.

1886
01:30:05,600 --> 01:30:06,601
Hello.

1887
01:30:07,168 --> 01:30:09,239
Hey, you're number one.

1888
01:30:09,337 --> 01:30:10,873
Okay, let's take it up a notch.

1889
01:30:10,939 --> 01:30:13,749
Okay, you know what time it is?
No.

1890
01:30:13,842 --> 01:30:15,947
It's candle play time. Uh-oh!

1891
01:30:17,545 --> 01:30:20,754
I should warn you
that this did not go well

1892
01:30:20,849 --> 01:30:22,954
when I was having sex
with Frankenstein.

1893
01:30:24,019 --> 01:30:25,020
Fire bad.

1894
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:26,190
Oh. Ah. Yeah, I'm ready.

1895
01:30:26,554 --> 01:30:27,589
Oh!

1896
01:30:27,689 --> 01:30:30,568
I didn't think...
That's wild. That's wild.

1897
01:30:30,625 --> 01:30:32,696
Oh, God. I didn't think I was
gonna like it, but I like it.

1898
01:30:32,794 --> 01:30:34,137
How does this
sucker not stay lit?

1899
01:30:34,229 --> 01:30:36,038
Okay. Hold the sex phone.

1900
01:30:36,531 --> 01:30:38,272
All right. Just getting into it.

1901
01:30:38,366 --> 01:30:39,970
Oh, look who we have here.

1902
01:30:40,068 --> 01:30:41,570
Garfield!

1903
01:30:41,703 --> 01:30:43,148
Garfield always comes through.
Yeah, he's...

1904
01:30:43,204 --> 01:30:44,924
He's gonna help us out. Oh, God!

1905
01:30:46,474 --> 01:30:47,475
Oh, God!

1906
01:30:48,043 --> 01:30:49,044
Shit. Fuck!

1907
01:30:49,477 --> 01:30:51,047
Oh! No! Shit!

1908
01:30:54,883 --> 01:30:56,226
My God!

1909
01:30:59,988 --> 01:31:01,058
Oh, fuck!

1910
01:31:01,089 --> 01:31:02,932
Did you fall on something sharp?
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

1911
01:31:02,991 --> 01:31:06,962
Okay, did it go up inside of
you by way of your rectum?

1912
01:31:07,062 --> 01:31:08,439
Yeah, I think so.

1913
01:31:08,496 --> 01:31:13,241
It feels like a small trophy or...
A collectible.

1914
01:31:13,501 --> 01:31:16,107
James, I am a nurse. Okay?

1915
01:31:16,571 --> 01:31:18,983
I can get whatever
is up there out.

1916
01:31:19,074 --> 01:31:20,451
No, I don't want you to look.

1917
01:31:21,009 --> 01:31:24,320
It's not Maura, the woman that you
were kissing who's gonna look.

1918
01:31:24,412 --> 01:31:26,187
It's a nurse who just got here.
Okay.

1919
01:31:26,281 --> 01:31:28,955
Hello, sir. Nice to meet
you for the first time.

1920
01:31:29,017 --> 01:31:30,690
Okay. All right. Okay.

1921
01:31:30,785 --> 01:31:33,823
I'm just gonna roll you over
so I can examine your rectum.

1922
01:31:33,922 --> 01:31:35,629
Okay. Stop. Stop saying rectum.

1923
01:31:36,124 --> 01:31:38,695
I'm gonna get it out, whatever it is.
Mmm-hmm. Okay.

1924
01:31:38,793 --> 01:31:41,153
So I'm just gonna twist it, and
pull it out slowly. Mmm-hmm.

1925
01:31:41,196 --> 01:31:42,436
Just breathe.

1926
01:31:47,302 --> 01:31:48,781
It's a music box.

1927
01:31:49,971 --> 01:31:51,041
Yep.

1928
01:31:51,606 --> 01:31:53,643
It's my ballerina music box.
Mmm-hmm.

1929
01:31:54,609 --> 01:31:57,886
And she's in high-fifth position,
which is why she went in so easily.

1930
01:31:57,979 --> 01:31:58,980
<i>Okay.</i>

1931
01:31:59,547 --> 01:32:02,653
Is it past the tutu?

1932
01:32:04,953 --> 01:32:06,023
Yeah. Mmm.

1933
01:32:06,121 --> 01:32:07,862
That's why it's catching.

1934
01:32:07,956 --> 01:32:10,368
So, okay, James,
I'm gonna try something here.

1935
01:32:10,458 --> 01:32:12,028
No. Nah' I'm good. It's okay.

1936
01:32:12,127 --> 01:32:13,367
I know, I know.
Just give me a second.

1937
01:32:13,461 --> 01:32:14,496
Okay, hold on!

1938
01:32:14,562 --> 01:32:17,839
That's turning inside me!
Just let it wind down.

1939
01:32:29,978 --> 01:32:31,389
I think it's almost done.

1940
01:32:31,479 --> 01:32:34,323
It's Swiss-made,
so it may take a while.

1941
01:32:35,750 --> 01:32:38,230
How long is this fucking song?

1942
01:32:38,319 --> 01:32:40,196
It really is a beautiful melody.

1943
01:32:40,522 --> 01:32:43,162
Beethoven. What a...
What a genius.

1944
01:32:43,925 --> 01:32:44,926
Mmm-hmm.

1945
01:32:46,428 --> 01:32:48,669
And we're do... Nope.

1946
01:32:49,330 --> 01:32:50,832
It went around again. Yeah.

1947
01:32:50,899 --> 01:32:52,742
Okay, you know what'?
I'm gonna hop up.

1948
01:32:52,834 --> 01:32:54,674
Okay. You got it? Yeah,
I got it-Yeah, no, no.

1949
01:32:55,370 --> 01:32:57,441
It didn't happen. It never happened.

1950
01:32:57,539 --> 01:32:59,109
James, seriously.

1951
01:32:59,207 --> 01:33:01,244
Be gentle.
Be very, very careful.

1952
01:33:01,376 --> 01:33:03,947
I'm gonna borrow this. Let's not
make this the headline of the night.

1953
01:33:04,045 --> 01:33:05,422
We are gonna laugh
about this someday.

1954
01:33:05,513 --> 01:33:08,517
You know, that is not the worst
rectal accident I've ever seen.

1955
01:33:08,583 --> 01:33:09,857
Thanks for that.

1956
01:33:09,918 --> 01:33:12,398
Thanks for cleaning up
the fucking gel, Kate!

1957
01:33:14,389 --> 01:33:15,959
Holy shit.

1958
01:33:16,057 --> 01:33:17,866
Help me wash it off. Yeah?

1959
01:33:18,860 --> 01:33:19,861
Kate?

1960
01:33:20,595 --> 01:33:21,801
Has anyone seen my sister?

1961
01:33:21,896 --> 01:33:24,308
She's sober and she needs to
drive us to the hospital.

1962
01:33:24,399 --> 01:33:27,141
I think I got the gangrene.

1963
01:33:27,235 --> 01:33:29,408
I might have
fucked a copy machine!

1964
01:33:29,537 --> 01:33:30,811
Good Lord.

1965
01:33:30,905 --> 01:33:31,975
Are you okay?

1966
01:33:32,073 --> 01:33:34,383
I swallowed my wedding ring!

1967
01:33:37,212 --> 01:33:38,418
Where's my purse?

1968
01:33:43,751 --> 01:33:44,889
Hmm?

1969
01:33:48,556 --> 01:33:52,971
<i>Hey, Aunt Maura. I just landed in
Orlando! Thanks for our conversation.</i>

1970
01:33:53,061 --> 01:33:56,167
<i>I 'm glad you talked me into
coming down-I do trust you.</i>

1971
01:33:56,264 --> 01:33:57,971
<i>I set the alarm at your condo,</i>

1972
01:33:58,066 --> 01:34:00,672
<i>and I gave my keys to your
pet-sitter, like you told me.</i>

1973
01:34:00,768 --> 01:34:04,238
<i>And I sent you a picture o? Me and Polenta.
She misses you.</i>

1974
01:34:09,744 --> 01:34:11,314
Oh, hell no.

1975
01:34:11,412 --> 01:34:13,824
Where is my purse?
Have you seen it anywhere?

1976
01:34:13,915 --> 01:34:14,916
It was just here.

1977
01:34:18,953 --> 01:34:20,023
Oh, shit.

1978
01:34:20,121 --> 01:34:21,930
More stevia!

1979
01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:23,663
Cloud Nine didn't
have this glitch in it.

1980
01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:26,269
Hey! Calm down.

1981
01:34:27,495 --> 01:34:28,496
Oh, steamroller!

1982
01:34:29,130 --> 01:34:30,609
Steamroller!

1983
01:34:31,633 --> 01:34:33,271
Santa, help me!

1984
01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:44,289
Okay, good night.

1985
01:34:44,345 --> 01:34:45,346
Good night, sweet prince.

1986
01:34:51,319 --> 01:34:52,320
James!

1987
01:34:53,788 --> 01:34:54,789
James.

1988
01:34:56,357 --> 01:34:57,859
James, let me
get you to a hospital.

1989
01:34:57,959 --> 01:34:58,903
No, I'm all right.
The thing is...

1990
01:34:58,993 --> 01:35:01,433
Maura, thank you for your help,
but I know what's best for me.

1991
01:35:01,462 --> 01:35:02,736
And right now...

1992
01:35:02,830 --> 01:35:05,709
I think I need to be
alone with my asshole.

1993
01:35:05,800 --> 01:35:07,302
Okay. Good night, Maura.

1994
01:35:08,670 --> 01:35:11,879
I need more stevia!

1995
01:35:11,973 --> 01:35:13,043
Where's Kate?

1996
01:35:13,141 --> 01:35:15,052
Oh, she went to go get booze.

1997
01:35:15,143 --> 01:35:16,383
She was pretty drunk.

1998
01:35:16,477 --> 01:35:19,185
Say hello to my little friend!
Of course she was.

1999
01:35:21,849 --> 01:35:25,058
Let's get this party started!

2000
01:35:25,987 --> 01:35:27,027
He's on Cloud 10!

2001
01:35:29,824 --> 01:35:30,825
I'm Alex.

2002
01:35:30,992 --> 01:35:33,905
We are going to dance floor
to dance out the rat poison.

2003
01:35:33,995 --> 01:35:35,167
What the fuck?

2004
01:35:39,834 --> 01:35:41,994
Hey. I'm sorry. Hold on one second.
Hold on one second.

2005
01:35:42,370 --> 01:35:43,747
Oh-my God! Mom?

2006
01:35:43,838 --> 01:35:45,010
Yeah, <i>I'll</i> be right there.

2007
01:35:45,073 --> 01:35:46,074
I'm kidding!

2008
01:35:48,843 --> 01:35:52,518
But thanks for finally laughing,
you fucking assholes!

2009
01:35:57,752 --> 01:35:59,026
Oh, I'm gonna kill her!

2010
01:35:59,854 --> 01:36:02,926
Where's my sister?

2011
01:36:05,260 --> 01:36:06,261
Kate!

2012
01:36:06,361 --> 01:36:07,431
Girl fight!

2013
01:36:07,528 --> 01:36:08,768
Maura!

2014
01:36:08,863 --> 01:36:10,103
Kate! Maura!

2015
01:36:10,198 --> 01:36:11,268
Girl fight!

2016
01:36:11,366 --> 01:36:12,401
Where's my sister?

2017
01:36:14,269 --> 01:36:15,373
Girl fight!

2018
01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:29,117
Go, go, go!

2019
01:36:45,767 --> 01:36:47,747
We did it, you guys.

2020
01:36:47,802 --> 01:36:49,577
We stopped time!

2021
01:36:52,573 --> 01:36:54,484
It's snowing!

2022
01:36:55,310 --> 01:36:57,119
Yes! Yes!

2023
01:37:02,417 --> 01:37:04,090
Oh, my God. You guys.

2024
01:37:04,252 --> 01:37:05,253
Sinkhole!

2025
01:37:15,997 --> 01:37:17,670
On, shit!

2026
01:37:18,099 --> 01:37:19,100
Look at this!

2027
01:37:19,267 --> 01:37:20,610
Oh, my God.

2028
01:37:20,768 --> 01:37:23,180
Oh, my God!

2029
01:37:23,338 --> 01:37:25,147
There's a sinkhole.
There's a sinkhole.

2030
01:37:25,306 --> 01:37:26,546
Look at this.

2031
01:37:26,641 --> 01:37:28,314
You told me you were gonna
take care of things

2032
01:37:28,376 --> 01:37:30,014
and you let
everything go to shit.

2033
01:37:30,111 --> 01:37:31,283
Where did you go?

2034
01:37:31,646 --> 01:37:33,683
You were supposed to stay sober.
I was supposed to get laid!

2035
01:37:33,848 --> 01:37:38,627
Oh, I'm so sorry that you couldn't get laid
for the five millionth time in your life.

2036
01:37:38,720 --> 01:37:41,963
Oh, I get! I get my fucking
dick when I want to.

2037
01:37:42,056 --> 01:37:43,660
Don't you ever
pull that shit with me!

2038
01:37:43,791 --> 01:37:45,168
I know you get tons of dick!

2039
01:37:45,293 --> 01:37:47,830
Just not tonight and not recently.
Mmm-hmm.

2040
01:37:48,196 --> 01:37:49,800
Where's my daughter, Maura?

2041
01:37:50,298 --> 01:37:51,709
Do you know?

2042
01:37:53,167 --> 01:37:54,168
No.

2043
01:37:54,369 --> 01:37:55,814
Look me in the eyes.

2044
01:37:58,706 --> 01:38:00,481
I don't know where she is.

2045
01:38:00,541 --> 01:38:03,215
You've always been
a fucking terrible liar.

2046
01:38:03,378 --> 01:38:05,415
Where is my daughter, Maura?

2047
01:38:05,513 --> 01:38:07,424
She has been staying
with me in Atlanta.

2048
01:38:07,515 --> 01:38:08,550
Since when?

2049
01:38:09,517 --> 01:38:10,518
June.

2050
01:38:11,686 --> 01:38:12,756
June.

2051
01:38:13,821 --> 01:38:17,268
You watched me worry
about her like an idiot,

2052
01:38:17,358 --> 01:38:20,896
fucking texting her every day, and
freaking out about her every day.

2053
01:38:20,995 --> 01:38:22,675
And she was living
with you the whole time?

2054
01:38:22,730 --> 01:38:24,403
Okay, but the thing is,
she didn't want you to know.

2055
01:38:24,499 --> 01:38:27,241
You're my sister! You should
have told me she was safe!

2056
01:38:27,335 --> 01:38:31,044
She is. She was!
The thing is, Haley needs...

2057
01:38:31,105 --> 01:38:33,949
Don't tell me what my
daughter needs, Okay?

2058
01:38:34,041 --> 01:38:37,181
Why don't you drive yourself to fucking
Petco and find a fucking husband?

2059
01:38:37,612 --> 01:38:41,856
Or go breastfeed a squirrel,
you sad excuse for a woman.

2060
01:38:43,117 --> 01:38:43,925
Oh.

2061
01:38:43,951 --> 01:38:44,952
Oh, shit!

2062
01:38:50,458 --> 01:38:53,371
This reminds me of that movie
we watched on our anniversary.

2063
01:38:55,296 --> 01:38:57,242
Ow! Ow!

2064
01:38:57,298 --> 01:38:58,402
My hip. My hip!

2065
01:38:58,466 --> 01:38:59,604
Are you okay? Yeah.

2066
01:38:59,700 --> 01:39:00,906
Can you move it? Yeah.

2067
01:39:00,968 --> 01:39:02,641
Good, because
I'm gonna kill you!

2068
01:39:03,271 --> 01:39:05,717
I really hope
Maura cracks her in half.

2069
01:39:05,773 --> 01:39:07,252
Come on, Maura!

2070
01:39:07,308 --> 01:39:08,378
Don't you spit on me.

2071
01:39:08,543 --> 01:39:10,103
Why are you hitting yourself'?
Not cool!

2072
01:39:10,144 --> 01:39:13,990
Wait a second. I'm posting this shit
straight on PoolsideBitchFights.com.

2073
01:39:15,550 --> 01:39:16,620
Kick her in the tits!

2074
01:39:16,717 --> 01:39:18,719
Haley is my kid, not yours!

2075
01:39:20,054 --> 01:39:21,055
God damn it!

2076
01:39:21,222 --> 01:39:22,599
What have you done to our house?

2077
01:39:22,657 --> 01:39:25,228
Stop that mud wrestling now!

2078
01:39:25,393 --> 01:39:26,753
Mom, leave Aunt Maura alone.

2079
01:39:26,794 --> 01:39:28,274
I was doing just fine
living with her.

2080
01:39:28,329 --> 01:39:29,603
I mean, ask Gram and Gramps.

2081
01:39:29,664 --> 01:39:32,270
You guys knew all along that
she was living with Maura?

2082
01:39:32,333 --> 01:39:34,677
You lying mofos!

2083
01:39:34,836 --> 01:39:36,144
I'm gonna kill you.

2084
01:39:36,237 --> 01:39:38,444
Stop it. Stop it! We are fed up.

2085
01:39:38,506 --> 01:39:40,315
We have no energy
for this goddamn shit.

2086
01:39:40,408 --> 01:39:42,115
Stop!

2087
01:39:42,176 --> 01:39:44,616
Our whole house looks like Pompeii,
and you two are wrestling?

2088
01:39:44,679 --> 01:39:45,680
I'll tell you what.

2089
01:39:45,847 --> 01:39:48,919
Since we're all finally
telling the goddamn truth,

2090
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:50,189
here's our truth.

2091
01:39:50,351 --> 01:39:53,161
And we mean this from the
bottom of our hearts.

2092
01:39:53,254 --> 01:39:56,633
We are so tired
of the both of you.

2093
01:39:56,691 --> 01:39:59,672
We're so tired. We really are.

2094
01:39:59,760 --> 01:40:01,467
You know, everybody
always said to us...

2095
01:40:01,529 --> 01:40:05,602
"Enjoy your kids while they're
young because it goes so fast."

2096
01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:08,146
I don't know what the fuck
they were talking about,

2097
01:40:08,202 --> 01:40:10,682
because it seems like
we'll never be done.

2098
01:40:10,771 --> 01:40:13,615
We keep trying
to pass you the baton.

2099
01:40:13,674 --> 01:40:15,312
You won't take it.

2100
01:40:15,376 --> 01:40:16,480
Take it!

2101
01:40:16,544 --> 01:40:19,548
Just take the fucking baton!

2102
01:40:20,615 --> 01:40:22,788
I agree. We all think you
should take the baton, Kate.

2103
01:40:23,551 --> 01:40:25,656
Maura, cut the shit.
We're talking to you, too.

2104
01:40:25,720 --> 01:40:27,495
Me? Yeah, you.

2105
01:40:27,555 --> 01:40:29,125
Go and live your life

2106
01:40:29,190 --> 01:40:32,637
and stop following us around
like we're gonna die any minute.

2107
01:40:32,693 --> 01:40:34,229
Yeah, we probably have more sex

2108
01:40:34,328 --> 01:40:35,636
than the both of you. Yeah.

2109
01:40:35,730 --> 01:40:37,801
We know! Yeah. We interrupted
one of your day-bangs.

2110
01:40:37,865 --> 01:40:39,139
Oh, my God!

2111
01:40:39,300 --> 01:40:40,472
You know,
if it takes a village...

2112
01:40:40,635 --> 01:40:43,081
I want a different village,
because this one sucks!

2113
01:40:43,237 --> 01:40:45,547
Why can't you guys just be...

2114
01:40:49,410 --> 01:40:50,821
Haley! Haley!

2115
01:40:50,878 --> 01:40:52,152
Oh, God. Oh, shit!

2116
01:40:52,213 --> 01:40:54,022
- Oh, sweet Jesus!
- Haley!

2117
01:40:54,081 --> 01:40:55,185
Haley? Mom!

2118
01:40:55,249 --> 01:40:56,523
- Bucky, do something!
- Haley!

2119
01:40:56,584 --> 01:40:57,585
Haley!

2120
01:40:59,387 --> 01:41:00,923
Oh, shit! Kate!

2121
01:41:02,156 --> 01:41:03,692
This party is unbelievable.

2122
01:41:03,758 --> 01:41:06,762
I am not going in to work tomorrow.
TSA can kiss my ass.

2123
01:41:07,595 --> 01:41:11,236
Kate, I've been through this shit
before when my condo sankholed.

2124
01:41:11,332 --> 01:41:12,936
I'm gonna talk you through it.

2125
01:41:13,100 --> 01:41:15,171
Your first instinct is gonna be

2126
01:41:15,236 --> 01:41:17,375
just to go to sleep and deal
with it in the morning,

2127
01:41:17,438 --> 01:41:18,439
but don't do that

2128
01:41:18,539 --> 01:41:19,540
I got a ladder. Kate!

2129
01:41:19,674 --> 01:41:20,880
- Is it cold?
- Yes, it's fucking cold!

2130
01:41:20,942 --> 01:41:22,080
Hush! It looks cold.

2131
01:41:22,243 --> 01:41:24,883
Everyone's distracted
by the emergency right now.

2132
01:41:24,946 --> 01:41:27,552
I wanna be balls deep in joy.

2133
01:41:27,615 --> 01:41:29,253
Then be in it.

2134
01:41:29,350 --> 01:41:30,454
Back into me.

2135
01:41:31,118 --> 01:41:33,064
Backing into you.

2136
01:41:37,592 --> 01:41:39,435
I'm in. Lock it up.

2137
01:41:39,527 --> 01:41:41,268
- Okay, I got you.
- We got the ladder.

2138
01:41:41,429 --> 01:41:42,635
Kate! Come on up the ladder.

2139
01:41:42,797 --> 01:41:44,299
We can do this
together, all right?

2140
01:41:44,398 --> 01:41:46,309
Everyone say
a non-denominational

2141
01:41:46,400 --> 01:41:48,971
silent prayer
to themselves, please.

2142
01:41:49,136 --> 01:41:50,740
Haley, don't be scared.
Here we go.

2143
01:41:50,805 --> 01:41:52,307
- That's really high.
- Come on, you can do it!

2144
01:41:52,473 --> 01:41:54,919
- It's too steep. I'm gonna fall.
- It's the only way out.

2145
01:41:54,976 --> 01:41:56,819
Look, there's Gramps. Oh,
you're not gonna slip, honey.

2146
01:41:56,911 --> 01:41:57,951
Come on. I can't, I can't.

2147
01:41:57,979 --> 01:42:00,960
We need to get in there and help them.
I need all your carabiners!

2148
01:42:01,048 --> 01:42:02,152
I'm all over it.

2149
01:42:02,316 --> 01:42:03,954
Hales' this could keep sinking.

2150
01:42:04,051 --> 01:42:05,331
Do you want me
to climb with you?

2151
01:42:05,386 --> 01:42:06,387
What?

2152
01:42:06,454 --> 01:42:09,094
I'll climb with you, okay? I'm gonna
climb right here, next to you.

2153
01:42:11,826 --> 01:42:13,737
Kate, you can do it!

2154
01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:16,934
Mommy used to do this at parties,
because she was a fucking idiot.

2155
01:42:16,998 --> 01:42:18,944
Come on. Come on. Come on, now.

2156
01:42:19,000 --> 01:42:19,978
Everybody!

2157
01:42:20,067 --> 01:42:21,671
- Don't look down. You got it.
- Kate! Kate! Kate!

2158
01:42:21,769 --> 01:42:23,612
Okay. Come on.

2159
01:42:23,671 --> 01:42:24,809
There we go.

2160
01:42:24,972 --> 01:42:26,280
Yep. Yep. Come on, girl.

2161
01:42:26,340 --> 01:42:27,512
You got it. Haley. Come on!

2162
01:42:27,675 --> 01:42:28,755
You're almost there.

2163
01:42:28,809 --> 01:42:30,083
Come on. I got it! Mom?

2164
01:42:30,144 --> 01:42:31,179
I'm the mom! Come on.

2165
01:42:35,916 --> 01:42:37,088
All right!

2166
01:42:42,356 --> 01:42:46,099
Now, everybody get the hell out of
here, before I call your children!

2167
01:42:50,998 --> 01:42:53,103
You jumped into a sinkhole

2168
01:42:53,267 --> 01:42:55,645
and climbed
a rock wall to save me.

2169
01:42:55,703 --> 01:42:58,843
Yeah, it's called Mom strength.
I basically She-Hulked.

2170
01:42:59,206 --> 01:43:00,514
You're my kid.

2171
01:43:00,675 --> 01:43:02,552
It's the only job
I'll never quit.

2172
01:43:06,380 --> 01:43:07,825
Did you smell my head?

2173
01:43:07,882 --> 01:43:09,054
Yeah, smells good.

2174
01:43:09,216 --> 01:43:10,524
You're such a weirdo.

2175
01:43:10,685 --> 01:43:12,045
Remember, I can
throw a car at you.

2176
01:43:21,395 --> 01:43:23,397
Maybe it'll look
better in the daylight?

2177
01:43:27,902 --> 01:43:29,904
Why is it blue?

2178
01:43:30,638 --> 01:43:32,640
Well, we are totally fucked.

2179
01:43:32,707 --> 01:43:34,186
Oh, my God, Mom,
don't say "fucked."

2180
01:43:34,241 --> 01:43:36,243
It sounds so wrong
coming out of your mouth.

2181
01:43:36,711 --> 01:43:39,351
Oh, too fucking bad.

2182
01:43:39,413 --> 01:43:41,017
I'm pissed.

2183
01:43:41,082 --> 01:43:43,392
And I'll say
whatever I wanna say

2184
01:43:43,484 --> 01:43:46,829
because I am cuntingly
disappointed in you!

2185
01:43:46,887 --> 01:43:47,922
All right.

2186
01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:51,730
That's not even a word. Don't you
dare sass me like your sister.

2187
01:43:51,826 --> 01:43:53,396
We are going home

2188
01:43:53,494 --> 01:43:57,032
and your <i>asses</i> are getting up at 6:00 a-m.
To clean up.

2189
01:43:57,231 --> 01:43:59,507
And put some underwear on! What?

2190
01:43:59,567 --> 01:44:02,514
What are you doing?
I mean, it's just shameful!

2191
01:44:02,570 --> 01:44:03,571
God, you guys need to chill out.

2192
01:44:03,671 --> 01:44:05,014
Oh, God!

2193
01:44:06,240 --> 01:44:07,776
Oh, God!

2194
01:44:07,875 --> 01:44:09,548
Calm down, Mom!

2195
01:44:09,610 --> 01:44:10,782
Fuck Off!

2196
01:44:22,223 --> 01:44:27,297
<i>Dear diary, tonight we
had a party that fumed into a foam orgy.</i>

2197
01:44:27,394 --> 01:44:31,274
<i>I made out with</i> a <i>sweet, hot,
funny guy who really liked me</i>

2198
01:44:31,365 --> 01:44:34,471
<i>until he fell down
butthole-first on</i> a <i>ballerina.</i>

2199
01:44:36,203 --> 01:44:37,204
<i>What a night.</i>

2200
01:44:38,539 --> 01:44:39,882
Asses up!

2201
01:44:40,241 --> 01:44:41,379
Now!

2202
01:45:07,968 --> 01:45:09,174
On, God!

2203
01:45:09,270 --> 01:45:10,271
Who's that?

2204
01:45:11,772 --> 01:45:13,683
Whoa! What happened here?

2205
01:45:13,774 --> 01:45:14,775
Oh.

2206
01:45:15,176 --> 01:45:16,655
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ellis.

2207
01:45:16,811 --> 01:45:18,188
You look great.

2208
01:45:21,182 --> 01:45:23,594
You find my hearing aid?

2209
01:45:24,985 --> 01:45:26,293
Where did you leave it?

2210
01:45:26,453 --> 01:45:28,091
She can't hear you.

2211
01:45:28,155 --> 01:45:30,362
She had to take them out because
the beeping was freaking me out

2212
01:45:30,457 --> 01:45:31,629
when I was on drugs.

2213
01:45:37,331 --> 01:45:38,366
What?

2214
01:45:38,532 --> 01:45:39,772
Nobody's lips are moving.

2215
01:45:39,934 --> 01:45:42,346
Okay. I'm pretty sure I
swallowed all my credit cards,

2216
01:45:42,436 --> 01:45:44,177
so I'm gonna go deal with that.

2217
01:45:44,338 --> 01:45:46,011
Come on, my love.

2218
01:45:46,106 --> 01:45:47,847
Happy Birthday!

2219
01:45:54,215 --> 01:45:57,788
When the girls were little, I used to
wash their hair with this sprayer.

2220
01:45:57,952 --> 01:46:01,365
I could put this one
in the condo, if you like.

2221
01:46:01,522 --> 01:46:02,523
No.

2222
01:46:04,158 --> 01:46:05,501
I'll remember it.

2223
01:46:14,635 --> 01:46:15,909
Scratch my back?

2224
01:46:23,310 --> 01:46:24,710
There'? Mmm-hmm. Mmm.

2225
01:46:25,145 --> 01:46:27,182
Mmm-hmm'?

2226
01:46:30,885 --> 01:46:31,920
<i>Listen, Dad...</i>

2227
01:46:32,019 --> 01:46:35,057
I'll buy the house as is and
Kate and Haley can stay here.

2228
01:46:35,155 --> 01:46:36,156
No, you won't.

2229
01:46:36,223 --> 01:46:38,533
Let me fix things.
You've done enough.

2230
01:46:38,592 --> 01:46:40,230
Don't you have a plane to catch?

2231
01:46:40,327 --> 01:46:43,501
When are you gonna learn
that your help isn't always wanted?

2232
01:46:45,566 --> 01:46:47,273
I can't offer
as much as Maura can,

2233
01:46:47,935 --> 01:46:49,539
but I do have some money.

2234
01:46:49,703 --> 01:46:53,515
Can I please live in your
house, temporarily, with Haley,

2235
01:46:54,041 --> 01:46:55,850
and fix it up?

2236
01:46:56,243 --> 01:46:58,018
Don't have to answer right away...
No.

2237
01:46:58,379 --> 01:47:00,256
Please, just go home.

2238
01:47:01,215 --> 01:47:02,956
I have no more home.

2239
01:47:09,456 --> 01:47:12,198
Oh, pulling out the
granddaughter card.

2240
01:47:12,927 --> 01:47:14,235
God damn it.

2241
01:47:15,562 --> 01:47:18,543
All right, I'll give you
two weeks to fix it up

2242
01:47:18,599 --> 01:47:20,772
and then I'm torching
it for insurance.

2243
01:47:21,235 --> 01:47:22,475
<i>Okay.</i>

2244
01:47:22,803 --> 01:47:24,874
That's everything I have.

2245
01:47:26,373 --> 01:47:28,410
Can you fix the damage for that?

2246
01:47:28,475 --> 01:47:29,476
No.

2247
01:47:30,611 --> 01:47:33,387
But I'll help you do it.

2248
01:47:35,082 --> 01:47:36,993
Is Maura still in town?

2249
01:47:37,751 --> 01:47:38,752
No.

2250
01:48:03,644 --> 01:48:05,521
I thought you flew to Atlanta.

2251
01:48:05,980 --> 01:48:06,981
Uh...

2252
01:48:07,815 --> 01:48:10,295
I didn't wanna leave town
until I said I was sorry.

2253
01:48:17,124 --> 01:48:18,694
And I think I melted
my driver's license

2254
01:48:18,792 --> 01:48:20,112
in the microwave,
the other night.

2255
01:48:22,529 --> 01:48:23,701
I'm sorry, Kate.

2256
01:48:23,864 --> 01:48:26,640
I'm sorry that I didn't tell
you that Haley was with me.

2257
01:48:27,368 --> 01:48:29,143
Will you forgive me for that?

2258
01:48:30,871 --> 01:48:32,509
I'm gonna milk it for a while.

2259
01:48:32,673 --> 01:48:33,811
<i>Okay.</i>

2260
01:48:35,642 --> 01:48:37,019
I made you something.

2261
01:48:37,177 --> 01:48:39,555
I was gonna send it to you,
but I didn't have any stamps

2262
01:48:39,646 --> 01:48:41,319
because they don't
make them anymore.

2263
01:48:45,986 --> 01:48:48,865
"Sisters are always there
for each other."

2264
01:48:50,357 --> 01:48:53,201
"But some sisters
think they're hot shit,"

2265
01:48:53,293 --> 01:48:55,136
"and do super-intrusive,
fucked-up things,"

2266
01:48:55,195 --> 01:48:58,733
"like secretly harbor the other one's
child so they can feel superior."

2267
01:48:58,832 --> 01:49:00,334
Quotes are usually short.

2268
01:49:00,501 --> 01:49:03,209
So are dicks, but sometimes
you hit the jackpot.

2269
01:49:03,670 --> 01:49:04,842
Keep reading.

2270
01:49:07,174 --> 01:49:11,179
"And some sisters live their lives
in chaos, like a goddamn tornado,"

2271
01:49:11,245 --> 01:49:13,691
"so the other sister has to
clean it up all the time."

2272
01:49:14,348 --> 01:49:17,022
"So, they're both wrong.
The end."

2273
01:49:18,419 --> 01:49:19,921
When I was party mom,

2274
01:49:20,087 --> 01:49:23,864
I realized that always having to
take care of everyone's shit sucks.

2275
01:49:24,191 --> 01:49:26,000
And I'm sure you realized

2276
01:49:26,060 --> 01:49:29,439
that it's not all fun being
selfish and leaving a mess.

2277
01:49:29,530 --> 01:49:31,771
It's pretty fucking fun.

2278
01:49:35,436 --> 01:49:38,679
We need to say goodbye to this
house and who we were here.

2279
01:49:43,377 --> 01:49:47,291
You know, James told me
that a house is a building

2280
01:49:47,381 --> 01:49:50,089
but home is a feeling.

2281
01:49:50,184 --> 01:49:52,130
He's smart. You need
to lock that guy down.

2282
01:49:52,219 --> 01:49:53,527
I blew it with him.

2283
01:49:53,587 --> 01:49:55,225
No, he's still asking about you.

2284
01:49:55,389 --> 01:49:56,800
He is? Yeah.

2285
01:49:56,890 --> 01:49:58,198
He is the greatest

2286
01:49:58,358 --> 01:49:59,598
James just needs some...

2287
01:49:59,693 --> 01:50:01,468
No! Stop deciding
what other people need.

2288
01:50:01,562 --> 01:50:04,065
You need help. Let him help you.

2289
01:50:06,233 --> 01:50:08,907
I got to go scrub "I heart
balls" off the fridge.

2290
01:50:09,069 --> 01:50:10,412
I'm sorry I wrote that.

2291
01:50:10,938 --> 01:50:12,281
Wait! Mmm.

2292
01:50:13,907 --> 01:50:15,909
What do I do when I see him?

2293
01:50:16,076 --> 01:50:18,386
See, I'm asking
for help already.

2294
01:50:19,079 --> 01:50:20,922
Find a way to
make him come to you.

2295
01:50:21,715 --> 01:50:23,490
But go big-

2296
01:50:23,584 --> 01:50:25,427
Make it clear that you need him.

2297
01:50:35,796 --> 01:50:37,104
Help!

2298
01:50:38,799 --> 01:50:40,403
Help!

2299
01:50:52,412 --> 01:50:54,414
Help.

2300
01:50:56,783 --> 01:50:58,626
I know you used
to be a lifeguard.

2301
01:50:59,419 --> 01:51:00,921
I need it.

2302
01:51:04,525 --> 01:51:05,970
Save me, please!

2303
01:51:18,939 --> 01:51:20,350
Oh, my God.

2304
01:51:20,440 --> 01:51:21,714
I'm drowning.

2305
01:51:21,808 --> 01:51:22,980
Don't die.

2306
01:51:23,310 --> 01:51:24,618
Come here.

2307
01:51:33,720 --> 01:51:36,166
Water feels good
on my ballerina hole.

2308
01:51:38,959 --> 01:51:41,337
What about your dick burns'?
Ooh.

2309
01:51:41,395 --> 01:51:43,534
Nice to meet you, Dick Burns.

2310
01:52:19,533 --> 01:52:22,013
How in the hell
did you pull this off?

2311
01:52:22,069 --> 01:52:25,915
Well, I usually give 30% and I
went for the full 100 this time.

2312
01:52:27,507 --> 01:52:29,384
You might need one more coat.

2313
01:52:31,011 --> 01:52:32,547
What?

2314
01:52:33,880 --> 01:52:34,950
There we go.

2315
01:52:35,716 --> 01:52:37,389
Thanks for doing this.
Oh, well...

2316
01:52:38,185 --> 01:52:39,892
Thank you for bringing me Dave.

2317
01:52:40,254 --> 01:52:42,530
He's really quite
the tender love maker.

2318
01:52:43,257 --> 01:52:44,634
Big Dave.

2319
01:52:48,862 --> 01:52:50,535
Very big Dave. All right.

2320
01:52:50,764 --> 01:52:52,107
Big, big, big, big, big boy.-

2321
01:52:52,199 --> 01:52:53,644
Okay. I think Dave
is just what you needed.

2322
01:52:53,867 --> 01:52:54,868
Yeah.

2323
01:52:57,371 --> 01:52:59,317
Whoo! I can barely walk.

2324
01:52:59,706 --> 01:53:00,878
So, this is awesome.

2325
01:53:01,541 --> 01:53:02,576
Come on, girlfriend.

2326
01:53:02,643 --> 01:53:03,644
Dave has chlamydia.

2327
01:53:05,279 --> 01:53:06,553
Right, friendship.

2328
01:53:16,723 --> 01:53:19,636
Mom, this guy wants to know if
he can get 10% off his manicure

2329
01:53:19,726 --> 01:53:21,228
because he only
has nine fingers.

2330
01:53:21,295 --> 01:53:23,241
Hang up. It's your
grandpa pranking us.

2331
01:53:23,730 --> 01:53:25,334
Nice try, Gramps.

2332
01:53:25,432 --> 01:53:27,810
Gross! Get a room!

2333
01:53:27,901 --> 01:53:29,073
Ah, you know you love it.

2334
01:53:29,336 --> 01:53:30,178
It's 10:00!

2335
01:53:30,337 --> 01:53:31,680
Champagne time.

2336
01:53:31,772 --> 01:53:32,944
I'm gonna do this every week.

2337
01:53:33,006 --> 01:53:35,282
Hae-Won, you're incredible.
Thank you, Jack.

2338
01:53:35,342 --> 01:53:36,343
High five! No.

2339
01:53:36,410 --> 01:53:38,788
Sorry. All right,
everybody, gather up.

2340
01:53:38,945 --> 01:53:42,449
On behalf of my co-owner
Hae-Won and myself.

2341
01:53:42,516 --> 01:53:44,086
Yay! Thank you, Alex,

2342
01:53:44,151 --> 01:53:45,653
for investing in our dreams.

2343
01:53:45,819 --> 01:53:47,662
Just here to do my part.

2344
01:53:47,754 --> 01:53:48,834
Whoa! Hair part!

2345
01:53:48,922 --> 01:53:49,957
Oh, God. Here we go.

2346
01:53:50,190 --> 01:53:51,828
Yoinks!

2347
01:53:51,925 --> 01:53:53,485
There is a lid for every pot.

2348
01:53:53,527 --> 01:53:54,870
I'm gonna punch him
right in the dick.

2349
01:53:54,961 --> 01:53:56,269
Let's do this!

2350
01:53:57,764 --> 01:53:58,970
Merry Christmas.

2351
01:53:59,032 --> 01:54:00,705
- Haley, you ready?
- I'm coming!

2352
01:54:00,801 --> 01:54:02,872
Hello! Hi.

2353
01:54:05,505 --> 01:54:08,486
Merry Christmas, my two angel.

2354
01:54:08,542 --> 01:54:10,783
And welcome to your new home!

2355
01:54:12,012 --> 01:54:14,185
Come on, let's go pick a room!

2356
01:54:14,881 --> 01:54:15,882
Really?

2357
01:54:15,982 --> 01:54:18,053
No, wheelie.

2358
01:54:18,785 --> 01:54:22,790
If this doesn't smell like our
Christmas, I will flip a table.

2359
01:54:23,223 --> 01:54:24,531
Hi!

2360
01:54:24,725 --> 01:54:26,068
Oh, hi!

2361
01:54:26,159 --> 01:54:27,968
- All right, hi!
- Oh, come here.

2362
01:54:28,061 --> 01:54:30,507
Look at you.
No, look at you. Look at you.

2363
01:54:31,565 --> 01:54:32,839
Cookies!

2364
01:54:33,467 --> 01:54:36,505
- Oh, how beautiful! Look at these!
- They're store-bought.

2365
01:54:36,570 --> 01:54:37,913
Good to see you. Good to see you.
Good to see you.

2366
01:54:38,071 --> 01:54:39,516
Did you make these? No.

2367
01:54:39,573 --> 01:54:41,348
No, I bought them
at a gas station.

2368
01:54:42,342 --> 01:54:44,481
Still feels like our Christmas.

2369
01:54:44,544 --> 01:54:45,818
Yeah.

2370
01:54:45,879 --> 01:54:47,688
Because we're the home.

2371
01:54:50,350 --> 01:54:51,351
Yeah.

2372
01:54:52,486 --> 01:54:53,487
Come here, bootch.

2373
01:55:01,595 --> 01:55:04,337
Okay. Let me lead,
I'm the big sister.

2374
01:55:51,411 --> 01:55:53,618
What kind of... Fuck.

2375
01:55:54,214 --> 01:55:56,387
Sorry. Bloopers! Yeah.

2376
01:55:56,483 --> 01:55:59,657
Whoo! Hey, I put in a special
request for our Applebutt...

2377
01:55:59,753 --> 01:56:01,960
Hey, I Fuck me, sorry.
Fuck, sorry.

2378
01:56:02,055 --> 01:56:03,125
Can I try it again?
Ellis I... Sure.

2379
01:56:03,223 --> 01:56:04,827
Let's try again. Sorry.

2380
01:56:04,925 --> 01:56:06,302
Oh, you probably don't remember.

2381
01:56:06,393 --> 01:56:08,634
Oh, I remember.

2382
01:56:08,728 --> 01:56:10,605
Oh, I remember.
I don't remember.

2383
01:56:11,598 --> 01:56:14,306
My safe word is "Dow Jones
Industrial Average."

2384
01:56:14,401 --> 01:56:16,608
My safe word is
"geopolitical disaster."

2385
01:56:16,670 --> 01:56:18,946
My safe word is
"pseudoparathyroidism."

2386
01:56:19,005 --> 01:56:22,111
<i>That girl is poison.</i>

2387
01:56:23,443 --> 01:56:25,582
<i>She's dangerous.</i>

2388
01:56:26,813 --> 01:56:30,693
I am done wasting words on
that cum-guzzling road whore.

2389
01:56:30,784 --> 01:56:31,785
Wow.

2390
01:56:40,126 --> 01:56:41,298
Huh? Huh?

2391
01:56:42,662 --> 01:56:45,268
Sorry.

2392
01:56:45,332 --> 01:56:46,606
I can't believe that
you haven't farted

2393
01:56:46,700 --> 01:56:48,441
this whole time.

2394
01:56:48,502 --> 01:56:51,005
Good job. Now I put it
in your head, sorry.

2395
01:56:51,104 --> 01:56:52,174
No, they've been silent.

2396
01:56:52,272 --> 01:56:53,979
Okay, here we go.

2397
01:56:54,140 --> 01:56:57,019
Has-Won.
Am I saying it correctly?

2398
01:56:57,110 --> 01:56:58,282
Hae-Won.

2399
01:56:58,345 --> 01:57:00,325
I'm just gonna
throw it away. Hae-Won.

2400
01:57:00,380 --> 01:57:01,358
No.

2401
01:57:04,217 --> 01:57:05,389
Hae...

2402
01:57:07,454 --> 01:57:08,831
Wait, I've got it.

2403
01:57:08,889 --> 01:57:10,459
Hae-Won.

2404
01:57:14,394 --> 01:57:16,840
Hae-Won.

2405
01:57:20,233 --> 01:57:21,735
Sorry.

2406
01:57:23,003 --> 01:57:24,004
I'm sorry.

2407
01:57:27,073 --> 01:57:29,849
Let me just see
if I'm pronouncing it correctly.

2408
01:57:31,511 --> 01:57:32,512
Sorry.

2409
01:57:32,879 --> 01:57:34,415
Hae-Won.

2410
01:57:39,586 --> 01:57:41,224
And cut.