1
00:00:03,325 --> 00:00:04,528
Last check Earl.
2
00:00:04,529 --> 00:00:07,225
And my boyfriend Bobby
will be here soon.
3
00:00:07,226 --> 00:00:08,927
He's sleeping over again.
4
00:00:08,928 --> 00:00:10,695
My boyfriend, Bobby, I mean.
5
00:00:10,696 --> 00:00:13,532
You know that cute guy
Bobby, my boyfriend?
6
00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:16,234
Oh, I know your boyfriend Bobby.
7
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:20,305
You name-drop him like
you're Gayle and he's Oprah.
8
00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:22,374
Why don't you ever stay at Bobby's?
9
00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:24,242
His place can't be worse than ours.
10
00:00:24,243 --> 00:00:26,945
Unless he's what's living in our wall.
11
00:00:26,946 --> 00:00:29,981
No, that's definitely a
woman sobbing in there.
12
00:00:29,982 --> 00:00:31,450
And I can't stay at Bobby's
13
00:00:31,451 --> 00:00:33,318
'cause he lives at home with his family.
14
00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:34,786
I didn't know Bobby lived at home.
15
00:00:34,787 --> 00:00:36,488
Wish I could move back home.
16
00:00:36,489 --> 00:00:38,255
They don't make Pontiacs anymore.
17
00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:41,893
The famous Bobby lives at home?
18
00:00:41,894 --> 00:00:44,830
Sounds like you landed a real winner.
19
00:00:44,831 --> 00:00:47,265
Actually, Han, Bobby
only moved back home
20
00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:49,734
because his dad died last year.
21
00:00:49,735 --> 00:00:53,405
H-E-double hockey sticks!
22
00:00:53,406 --> 00:00:55,807
The one guy I take a shot at, ever,
23
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:58,810
and he's the freakin' Orphan Annie!
24
00:01:02,615 --> 00:01:08,531
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
25
00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:11,523
Hey, I'm Bobby.
26
00:01:11,524 --> 00:01:13,458
I'm looking for my girlfriend Caroline.
27
00:01:13,459 --> 00:01:15,427
You know that cute girl, Caroline?
28
00:01:15,428 --> 00:01:17,696
My girlfriend.
29
00:01:17,697 --> 00:01:21,298
Bobby. Now, where have
I heard that name before?
30
00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:26,271
Bobby, my boyfriend, stop.
31
00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:27,939
Hey, before I forget.
32
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:29,674
My mom is throwing a party tomorrow...
33
00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:31,242
- Shhh!
- Are you crazy?
34
00:01:33,879 --> 00:01:37,682
Bobby, never discuss
a party in the diner.
35
00:01:37,683 --> 00:01:39,518
If the people we work with,
36
00:01:39,519 --> 00:01:43,989
and I'm using "people" in
the loosest sense possible...
37
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:48,759
if they hear about a
party, they'll come to it!
38
00:01:50,128 --> 00:01:52,230
We had to learn Navajo
39
00:01:52,231 --> 00:01:54,166
just so we could talk
about our weekend plans
40
00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:56,034
without them overhearing.
41
00:01:56,035 --> 00:01:59,037
And then they learned Navajo.
42
00:01:59,038 --> 00:02:03,308
Now it makes sense that Earl
asked me for wampum yesterday.
43
00:02:03,309 --> 00:02:07,012
Okay, so my mom is throwing
this party at our house tomorrow.
44
00:02:07,013 --> 00:02:08,413
You want to meet my family?
45
00:02:08,414 --> 00:02:11,048
I'd love to meet them!
46
00:02:12,817 --> 00:02:14,486
Especially your mom.
47
00:02:14,487 --> 00:02:17,656
It goes without saying,
but she's gonna love me.
48
00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:21,526
Why? Does she love people who
spit a little when they talk?
49
00:02:21,527 --> 00:02:22,994
I don't spit when I talk.
50
00:02:22,995 --> 00:02:25,363
Nope, I saw it that time.
51
00:02:25,364 --> 00:02:26,398
But that's okay.
52
00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:27,832
Moms love me almost as much
53
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:30,168
as truckers love Max.
54
00:02:30,169 --> 00:02:33,705
You model for one mud
flap, you're made for life.
55
00:02:33,706 --> 00:02:35,073
You're coming too, right, Max?
56
00:02:35,074 --> 00:02:36,575
My whole family's gonna be there.
57
00:02:36,576 --> 00:02:38,359
Caroline's whole family
should be there, too.
58
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,379
Aww, that's so sweet.
59
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:42,948
Sounds good.
60
00:02:42,949 --> 00:02:45,983
What time should I bring
the sacrificial raccoon?
61
00:02:47,686 --> 00:02:51,223
Oh, is it not a birthday?
62
00:02:51,224 --> 00:02:53,725
You could hear from back there?
63
00:02:53,726 --> 00:02:56,861
And through the wall in my office.
64
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,897
Can't wait for the party.
65
00:02:58,898 --> 00:03:00,966
Can I bring a Jell-O dessert?
66
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:03,568
I have a new Pikachu mold
I've been dying to try out.
67
00:03:03,569 --> 00:03:07,439
Is it the same Pikachu
mold that you came out of?
68
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,109
Ah, so, about this party
we're all invited to,
69
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:14,445
is it open bar, or do we have
to go through the cabinets again?
70
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,068
So what kind of perfume
does your mom wear?
71
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,452
I need to know for when I tell her
72
00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:26,537
I've always loved it
73
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:28,339
and can't believe she wears it too.
74
00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:30,240
I don't know, but please don't wear it
75
00:03:30,241 --> 00:03:32,109
if you ever want to
have sex with me again.
76
00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:36,513
Oh, uh, one more thing.
77
00:03:36,514 --> 00:03:38,449
Don't tell her that I
spent the night here.
78
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:40,217
She thinks I stayed
at my friend Brian's.
79
00:03:40,218 --> 00:03:41,518
She's kind of old-fashioned.
80
00:03:41,519 --> 00:03:43,187
Can't be that old-fashioned.
81
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:46,223
She's cool with you sleeping
with your friend Brian.
82
00:03:46,224 --> 00:03:47,591
All right, I'll see you later.
83
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:49,375
I got to go help my mom
set up for the party.
84
00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,695
Uh, if I'm coming off
as too much of a bad boy,
85
00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:52,930
I can tone it down.
86
00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:02,105
I'll be sure to do cheek
kisses at your house.
87
00:04:08,445 --> 00:04:11,048
So!
88
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,552
Is there gonna be weed at this party,
89
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,752
or can I make some money selling?
90
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:16,320
Max, it is really important to me
91
00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,654
that Bobby's mom likes me,
92
00:04:17,655 --> 00:04:19,990
which is why I hid your weed
93
00:04:19,991 --> 00:04:22,926
and bought her a lovely gift to bring.
94
00:04:22,927 --> 00:04:26,597
In lieu of gifts, I always
just wear a low-cut shirt.
95
00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:28,498
But I see why you had to buy something.
96
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:32,836
Look. Macaron.
97
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:36,774
Uh, you're maca-wrong,
98
00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:38,942
'cause those are macaroons.
99
00:04:38,943 --> 00:04:40,511
And I think I maca-ruined them
100
00:04:40,512 --> 00:04:42,232
when I ate the filling out of 'em.
101
00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:50,254
Wait, you're going to Bobby's
mom's party dressed like that?
102
00:04:50,255 --> 00:04:54,458
Are you aware your husband
is dressed for a canoe trip?
103
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,093
I Google Earth-ed the house.
104
00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:58,162
There's a pool at the house next door.
105
00:04:58,163 --> 00:05:01,999
And a short fence.
106
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,435
Actually, the party was canceled.
107
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:06,103
I'm so sorry.
108
00:05:06,104 --> 00:05:07,704
You'll have to meet Bobby's family
109
00:05:07,705 --> 00:05:09,473
sometime never on.
110
00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,442
Yep, party canceled.
111
00:05:11,443 --> 00:05:13,010
There was a sinkhole.
112
00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:14,678
Uh, still haven't found the house.
113
00:05:14,679 --> 00:05:16,613
Everyone's dead.
114
00:05:16,614 --> 00:05:18,649
That's horrible.
115
00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:21,485
I pre-paid a sitter.
116
00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:24,688
Oh, I guess we'll just
hang out here then.
117
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,457
And since there's no pool...
118
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:28,292
Ahh! Okay! Okay, fine!
119
00:05:28,293 --> 00:05:30,116
The party's not canceled.
There's no sinkhole.
120
00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:32,062
No one's dead. Come at 4:00.
121
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:34,798
Just please don't embarrass me.
122
00:05:34,799 --> 00:05:38,334
Uh, I think that was
directed at you, Max.
123
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,839
Awkward.
124
00:05:48,645 --> 00:05:50,380
- Hey.
- Hi.
125
00:05:50,381 --> 00:05:52,204
We're here early, 'cause
moms love promptness,
126
00:05:52,205 --> 00:05:55,886
and our Uber driver was on the
front end of a police chase.
127
00:05:55,887 --> 00:05:58,489
You're gonna nail it. My
mom's favorite show's "Cops."
128
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,723
Oh, I'm a series regular.
129
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:03,760
Oh, nice staircase.
130
00:06:03,761 --> 00:06:05,829
You get along with the
folks that live up there?
131
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:07,664
Uh, sometimes.
132
00:06:07,665 --> 00:06:09,733
Depends how my sisters are feeling,
133
00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:11,317
'cause that is still part of the house.
134
00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:16,707
Wow!
135
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,509
You didn't tell us
you lived in a castle.
136
00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:21,411
Look at the TV and chairs!
137
00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,846
You guys must've gotten this stuff
138
00:06:22,847 --> 00:06:25,616
right after they laid
it out on the curb.
139
00:06:25,617 --> 00:06:29,286
Bobby, I found the program
from your sixth grade play.
140
00:06:29,287 --> 00:06:31,288
You were so good.
141
00:06:31,289 --> 00:06:33,223
Like Leonardo DiCaprio.
142
00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:34,458
Only not bloated.
143
00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:39,229
Ma, I played a tree,
and I still got booed.
144
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,597
Sorry, she likes to brag about me.
145
00:06:40,598 --> 00:06:41,865
This is my mom.
146
00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:43,567
Hi, Bobby's mom. I'm Max.
147
00:06:43,568 --> 00:06:45,736
May I say you have a beautiful house?
148
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:49,706
And that's high praise,
'cause I've been in five.
149
00:06:49,707 --> 00:06:51,108
And I'm Caroline.
150
00:06:51,109 --> 00:06:52,576
Oh, that scent you're wearing
151
00:06:52,577 --> 00:06:54,077
is my all-time favorite.
152
00:06:54,078 --> 00:06:55,611
I sat on a deviled egg.
153
00:06:57,648 --> 00:07:00,617
I hope you like macaron.
154
00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,618
You don't think I have enough food?
155
00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:08,659
I know this sounds insane,
156
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:12,496
but I don't know if
she love-love-loved me.
157
00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:14,631
Don't worry... she takes
a little time to warm up,
158
00:07:14,632 --> 00:07:15,999
but when she does,
159
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,502
you'll only notice a little difference.
160
00:07:18,503 --> 00:07:21,638
Uh, Bobby... question.
161
00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:25,841
How did you get Queen Elizabeth
to sell you her throne?
162
00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:31,481
Bobby, you only invited girls?
163
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:34,251
You knew I wanted a sausage-fest.
164
00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:36,253
I did bring macaron.
165
00:07:36,254 --> 00:07:38,488
You must be Bobby's sister, Denise.
166
00:07:38,489 --> 00:07:40,123
I'm Caroline.
167
00:07:40,124 --> 00:07:44,628
I'm Max, and I should
have worn a diaper here.
168
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:47,764
Seriously, Bobby, if you
never invite any guys over,
169
00:07:47,765 --> 00:07:48,865
how am I gonna find one?
170
00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:50,467
Ma cancelled my Match.com account.
171
00:07:50,468 --> 00:07:52,803
I'm not paying $9.99 a month
172
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,972
for you to be a slut!
173
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:57,808
Ma! Stay out of my business!
174
00:07:57,809 --> 00:08:00,944
You treat me like I'm still in my 30s!
175
00:08:00,945 --> 00:08:03,280
Well, if there aren't
gonna be any guys here,
176
00:08:03,281 --> 00:08:05,748
I'm gonna go smoke a J and do my jigsaw.
177
00:08:07,784 --> 00:08:11,021
Definitely popping by
Denise's room later.
178
00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:12,823
Bobby, I can't explain it,
179
00:08:12,824 --> 00:08:15,826
but somehow, when you stock
the Tab in the garage fridge,
180
00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:17,294
it just tastes better.
181
00:08:17,295 --> 00:08:18,829
Garage fridge?
182
00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,864
How rich are you people?
183
00:08:20,865 --> 00:08:23,200
You know who loved an ice-cold Tab?
184
00:08:23,201 --> 00:08:24,968
Jessica.
185
00:08:24,969 --> 00:08:26,403
Ma! Really?
186
00:08:26,404 --> 00:08:29,006
I specifically asked you
not to bring up Jessica.
187
00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:31,408
Oops.
188
00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:32,743
Who's Jessica?
189
00:08:32,744 --> 00:08:34,077
She's my ex.
190
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,912
We stopped dating over a year ago.
191
00:08:35,913 --> 00:08:37,180
Dating?
192
00:08:37,181 --> 00:08:39,750
You were engaged to be engaged!
193
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:42,852
I'm sitting, but I'm lying down.
194
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:48,859
She was the only girl I ever thought
195
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,661
was good enough for my Bobby.
196
00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:52,396
No offense, hon, but look at her.
197
00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:55,866
With that face, she could've
been a dental hygienist.
198
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:57,501
She's on your wall?
199
00:08:57,502 --> 00:09:00,837
Only to cover a hole that
Denise punched in it...
200
00:09:00,838 --> 00:09:02,506
when I broke up with Jessica.
201
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:04,908
Did someone say Jessica?
202
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:06,677
Who is that?
203
00:09:06,678 --> 00:09:08,245
And please don't say Jessica.
204
00:09:08,246 --> 00:09:10,347
That... that's my other sister, Chrissy.
205
00:09:10,348 --> 00:09:12,215
She doesn't come out
of her room these days.
206
00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:15,252
- She's still in mourning.
- Oh, over your dad?
207
00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:16,953
Over Jessica.
208
00:09:16,954 --> 00:09:19,022
She hasn't come out of her
room since they broke up.
209
00:09:19,023 --> 00:09:22,925
And she was this close to
assistant manager at TCBY.
210
00:09:26,430 --> 00:09:29,165
I'm over Jessica. My family less so.
211
00:09:31,568 --> 00:09:35,038
Oh, my God!
212
00:09:35,039 --> 00:09:37,907
This chair has another
chair just for your feet!
213
00:09:43,246 --> 00:09:45,649
Bobby, why didn't you
tell me about Jessica?
214
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:49,152
I told you about my
father being in prison.
215
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,088
No, you didn't.
216
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:53,957
My father's in prison.
217
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,059
Jessica's not important to me.
218
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,929
I think about her so little,
she might as well be AOL.
219
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:01,064
I'm on AOL.
220
00:10:01,065 --> 00:10:03,433
Oh, my God, we know
nothing about each other.
221
00:10:03,434 --> 00:10:06,770
Bobby, did you stock
the kitchen fridge, too?
222
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,871
'Cause I'm getting that
crisp, clean, bottle taste
223
00:10:08,872 --> 00:10:10,073
from a can here.
224
00:10:10,074 --> 00:10:13,110
I took my shoes off. Hope that's okay.
225
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:15,979
Bobby, stop standing
there staring at Jessica.
226
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,514
Give someone else a turn.
227
00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:19,182
I'm doing a load.
228
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,883
Go up to your room and get your dirties.
229
00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:24,020
I... I have to give 'em to her.
230
00:10:24,021 --> 00:10:25,662
Otherwise she's gonna
go through my stuff,
231
00:10:25,663 --> 00:10:27,046
and I have a check from my grandpa
232
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:29,526
I don't want her to know about.
233
00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:31,527
Chrissy! I'm doing a wash!
234
00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:37,634
And fold everything in
threes this time, Ma!
235
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:40,137
The way Jessica used to!
236
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,539
I'll try, but I'm not perfect.
237
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,708
That was Jessica's thing.
238
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:46,276
Got that right, Ma!
239
00:10:46,277 --> 00:10:50,013
The woman was without flaws!
240
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:53,483
You might want to wash that alone.
241
00:10:53,484 --> 00:10:56,186
Believe it or not, it's a white.
242
00:10:56,187 --> 00:10:58,021
Max, what are you doing?
243
00:10:58,022 --> 00:10:59,489
Relax, I have the other one on.
244
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,891
No one's gonna get hurt.
245
00:11:00,892 --> 00:11:02,559
I just need to stay calm
246
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,061
and figure out a way to
win Bobby's mother over.
247
00:11:05,062 --> 00:11:06,730
I have to! I have to!
248
00:11:06,731 --> 00:11:08,698
You trying to get some
of that sweet, sweet
249
00:11:08,699 --> 00:11:09,699
grandpa-check money?
250
00:11:11,202 --> 00:11:13,837
Somebody get the frickin' door!
251
00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:15,872
Uh, I'll get the frickin' door.
252
00:11:15,873 --> 00:11:16,973
No, no, no, no, no.
253
00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:18,675
I have to win these people over.
254
00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:20,843
I freaking got it, Chrissy.
255
00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:26,849
Oh, great. This should help.
256
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:40,457
Earl's got five more
minutes in that chair.
257
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,459
I'll bounce an old man.
258
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:45,795
Whose turn is it to
see if he's breathing?
259
00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:48,465
Oh, no, he's okay.
260
00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:50,901
He's just having a running dream.
261
00:11:50,902 --> 00:11:53,803
You'll get that squirrel, buddy.
262
00:11:53,804 --> 00:11:55,805
Well, clock's ticking.
263
00:11:55,806 --> 00:11:57,607
Look, elephant in the room,
264
00:11:57,608 --> 00:12:00,911
but I got to see what porno
looks like on that screen.
265
00:12:00,912 --> 00:12:02,445
Oh, yeah, look.
266
00:12:02,446 --> 00:12:06,416
I brought "Manchester
by the Double D's."
267
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:08,318
You see why we had to learn Navajo?
268
00:12:08,319 --> 00:12:10,987
It's all fine. My mother
loves having company.
269
00:12:10,988 --> 00:12:14,157
Oh, not kidding; they're
really going to watch it
270
00:12:14,158 --> 00:12:16,092
It doesn't fit.
271
00:12:16,093 --> 00:12:18,995
Heh, if I had a nickel for
every time I've said that.
272
00:12:18,996 --> 00:12:21,497
Yeah, he's got that right.
273
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,136
Bobby, I told you.
274
00:12:26,137 --> 00:12:27,600
You can't leave the front door open.
275
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:29,639
We live too close to the YMCA.
276
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,108
No, Ma, these are Caroline's friends.
277
00:12:32,109 --> 00:12:33,843
They speak Navajo.
278
00:12:33,844 --> 00:12:36,346
Okay, well, I hope they like Italian,
279
00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:38,847
'cause that's what I
spent all night making.
280
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,450
You know, I... I think she's warming up.
281
00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:49,125
You see I'm dealing with a
perfect ex-girlfriend situation.
282
00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:51,027
I need you to be on my side.
283
00:12:51,028 --> 00:12:52,762
Fine.
284
00:12:52,763 --> 00:12:55,131
I don't think Jessica made
people take sides, just FYI.
285
00:12:55,132 --> 00:12:56,499
Yeah, I think it's time for me
286
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,368
to switch my focus
from the mom to Denise.
287
00:12:58,369 --> 00:13:01,004
I forgot, I'm actually
better with sisters.
288
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,939
I have to be! I have to be!
289
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,841
Well, you better be.
290
00:13:04,842 --> 00:13:06,442
'Cause I'm gonna tell you the same thing
291
00:13:06,466 --> 00:13:08,111
I told my old boyfriend,
Missionary Steve:
292
00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:10,079
it's time to turn this thing around.
293
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:13,016
Denise, there you are!
294
00:13:13,017 --> 00:13:15,819
Oh, look at you. I love
a midday costume change.
295
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:19,789
And you said I couldn't wear
my eating robe to the party.
296
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:22,158
Well, since there aren't
gonna be any guys here,
297
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,661
I figured I'd just get ready for bed.
298
00:13:24,662 --> 00:13:29,064
Ooh, who's the hottie over there?
299
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,302
The one running in his sleep
300
00:13:32,303 --> 00:13:36,206
or the one fanning his
underarms with a plate?
301
00:13:36,207 --> 00:13:38,375
The muscular one.
302
00:13:38,376 --> 00:13:41,144
Muscular? You're gonna have to point.
303
00:13:41,145 --> 00:13:43,880
Is there a different "over there"?
304
00:13:43,881 --> 00:13:45,682
Come on, guys, in the dining room.
305
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:47,717
You have to taste the sauce I made.
306
00:13:47,718 --> 00:13:50,053
I used Jessica's recipe.
307
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:52,222
It's a frickin' delight!
308
00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:53,890
Watch your mouth, young lady!
309
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:55,290
But she's right.
310
00:13:59,496 --> 00:14:00,762
Hello.
311
00:14:09,273 --> 00:14:10,907
Before we start eating,
312
00:14:10,908 --> 00:14:13,208
Max, would you like to say grace?
313
00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:17,446
Thanks, God?
314
00:14:19,849 --> 00:14:22,685
I'll do it.
315
00:14:22,686 --> 00:14:24,587
We thank God and his mother,
316
00:14:24,588 --> 00:14:26,556
'cause we know his
mother does everything.
317
00:14:26,557 --> 00:14:29,192
And he would never date a woman
without getting her approval.
318
00:14:29,193 --> 00:14:33,096
Okay, Ma, I don't think
Jesus was a big dater.
319
00:14:33,097 --> 00:14:35,732
He wasn't when I knew him.
320
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:38,034
Han, I need you to flirt with Denise.
321
00:14:38,035 --> 00:14:39,869
- She likes you.
- I got that.
322
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,604
Her hand is on my knee.
323
00:14:41,605 --> 00:14:43,572
Oop, not my knee anymore.
324
00:14:45,075 --> 00:14:48,378
Excuse my reach.
325
00:14:48,379 --> 00:14:51,081
You like them? I got 'em for Christmas.
326
00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:52,549
We all chipped in.
327
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:55,485
Jessica worked very
closely with the doctor
328
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:58,955
to design the shape
texture of the nipples.
329
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,924
I got her a calendar.
330
00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:03,059
I don't know who Jessica is,
331
00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:05,328
but I need the sauce recipe.
332
00:15:05,329 --> 00:15:07,063
And my lovely wife and I
333
00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:10,433
wouldn't mind seeing those
nipples at some point.
334
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:13,670
Well, there's no way they're
as good as this sauce.
335
00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:15,071
Mmm, mm-mm.
336
00:15:15,072 --> 00:15:17,574
Anyway, Caroline owns a dessert bar.
337
00:15:17,575 --> 00:15:20,143
What the hell is that?
338
00:15:20,144 --> 00:15:21,644
Max, what do you think of the sauce?
339
00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:24,981
Max, you can be honest
if you don't love it.
340
00:15:24,982 --> 00:15:28,184
What? More.
341
00:15:28,185 --> 00:15:30,320
- Mmm, mmm.
- Okay, we get it.
342
00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:31,821
You like Jessica's sauce.
343
00:15:31,822 --> 00:15:34,791
Mmm, you know, I'm so full,
344
00:15:34,792 --> 00:15:36,960
but I can't stop.
345
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:38,495
You don't have to eat it.
346
00:15:38,496 --> 00:15:40,163
Are you crazy?
347
00:15:40,164 --> 00:15:44,467
This is a once in a lifetime sauce.
348
00:15:44,468 --> 00:15:48,438
I'm gonna push my Spanx to the limit.
349
00:15:48,439 --> 00:15:49,862
Could someone switch seats with me?
350
00:15:49,863 --> 00:15:51,374
What's going on over there, Denise?
351
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:52,798
You keeping your hands to yourself?
352
00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:55,979
Uh, I'll sit next to her.
353
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,881
I'd like to move down
and sit next to Caroline.
354
00:15:57,882 --> 00:15:59,985
Oh, so now you don't want
to sit next to your mother?
355
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:02,218
I'm not hungry anyway.
356
00:16:02,219 --> 00:16:07,023
I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower.
357
00:16:07,024 --> 00:16:09,959
There's a big hole
in our shower curtain.
358
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,897
Thanks, but I use a
doctor-prescribed soap.
359
00:16:13,898 --> 00:16:15,565
Thanks a lot, Han.
360
00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:18,034
You couldn't just take
a shower with her for me?
361
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:20,336
Ma! Where's my plate?
362
00:16:20,337 --> 00:16:22,739
Could somebody take
a plate up to Chrissy?
363
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,908
She's still too upset to come out.
364
00:16:24,909 --> 00:16:27,043
- You know, because of...
- We know, Ma.
365
00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:28,645
I'll do it.
366
00:16:28,646 --> 00:16:30,309
'Cause I... I don't
even like this sauce.
367
00:16:31,815 --> 00:16:34,350
No, I'll... I'll bring
Chrissy her plate.
368
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,053
She's my last chance.
369
00:16:37,054 --> 00:16:38,555
And save me some of that sauce.
370
00:16:38,556 --> 00:16:40,156
It's the best thing I've ever had.
371
00:16:40,157 --> 00:16:42,457
Don't worry, I filled
your purse with it.
372
00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:47,664
Does anyone work here?
373
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:48,930
Where's my food?
374
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:53,670
Well, well, well, Jessica.
375
00:16:53,671 --> 00:16:55,171
You may make a great sauce,
376
00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:57,273
but you can't stop me.
377
00:17:00,276 --> 00:17:01,744
What's going on out there?
378
00:17:01,745 --> 00:17:02,845
I heard a crash!
379
00:17:02,846 --> 00:17:04,847
Uh, everything's fine!
380
00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:06,749
A truck hit a kid outside.
381
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:09,519
Max, can you come here for a second?
382
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,120
What's all the commotion?
383
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:12,789
I can't eat my frickin' feelings
384
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,091
if there's no food!
385
00:17:15,092 --> 00:17:16,726
Was the kid on a bike?
386
00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:21,130
Oh, my God! Look what
you did to Jessica!
387
00:17:21,131 --> 00:17:23,566
Why are you so jealous of her, Caroline?
388
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:25,768
You'll never be Jessica,
okay? None of us will!
389
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,403
I didn't do it!
390
00:17:27,404 --> 00:17:29,038
She just fell off the wall.
391
00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:31,441
Max, she is trying to destroy me.
392
00:17:31,442 --> 00:17:32,976
Where's my food?
393
00:17:32,977 --> 00:17:35,645
I'm starting to scratch my arms again!
394
00:17:35,646 --> 00:17:37,280
Okay, I'll fix the picture.
395
00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:38,281
Give her my plate.
396
00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:40,049
Hang on.
397
00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:42,218
Let me just take one more big bite.
398
00:17:42,219 --> 00:17:45,088
Give me a little of that.
399
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:47,622
Oh, damn you, Jessica!
400
00:17:57,914 --> 00:17:59,983
Max, how did you fix Jessica's picture?
401
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:01,484
It looks perfect!
402
00:18:01,485 --> 00:18:02,986
Wasn't easy.
403
00:18:02,987 --> 00:18:04,610
I tried not to make
eye contact with her,
404
00:18:04,611 --> 00:18:06,756
'cause I was starting to get feelings.
405
00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:08,224
Hey, there you are.
406
00:18:08,225 --> 00:18:10,827
Are you okay? I know
my family can be a lot.
407
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,229
No, I'm having a great time.
408
00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:14,998
You think your mom needs help
409
00:18:14,999 --> 00:18:16,266
putting out that macaron?
410
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,834
I noticed they're not out.
411
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,003
I also noticed one in the birdcage.
412
00:18:20,004 --> 00:18:21,537
You know what?
413
00:18:21,538 --> 00:18:23,706
If you're not having a
good time, we can leave.
414
00:18:23,707 --> 00:18:25,541
I'm a grown man. She's
not the boss of me.
415
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,476
- Bobby!
- Coming, Ma!
416
00:18:29,612 --> 00:18:31,848
Caroline, relax.
417
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,449
Nobody likes you right away.
418
00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:34,884
I just got there last year,
419
00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:37,287
and there's still a lot of red flags.
420
00:18:42,226 --> 00:18:45,194
Thank you for letting me
borrow Denise's Snuggie.
421
00:18:45,195 --> 00:18:48,631
I feel like I'm back in the womb again.
422
00:18:48,632 --> 00:18:51,434
But it doesn't reek of cigarettes.
423
00:18:51,435 --> 00:18:53,202
Wait.
424
00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:55,805
I think it does.
425
00:18:55,806 --> 00:18:57,106
I like it.
426
00:18:57,107 --> 00:18:58,374
I'm gonna like it even more
427
00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:01,577
when it's on the floor tonight.
428
00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:03,079
Is that one still breathing?
429
00:19:06,716 --> 00:19:09,319
All right, Ma, I'm going to karate.
430
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,320
Karate?
431
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,322
Well, well, well.
432
00:19:12,323 --> 00:19:14,157
Tae Kwon Hello.
433
00:19:14,158 --> 00:19:16,225
I happen to be a yellow belt.
434
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:17,660
Oh, yeah?
435
00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:22,432
Oh, yeah.
436
00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:25,234
I got five of the macaron
back from the birdcage.
437
00:19:25,235 --> 00:19:28,171
I'll get your Snuggie
back to you by tomorrow.
438
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:30,106
I'll give to Bobby in the morning
439
00:19:30,107 --> 00:19:31,606
when he leaves Caroline's.
440
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,479
You said you slept at Brian's.
441
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:37,980
You lying to me now?
442
00:19:37,981 --> 00:19:39,749
Ma...
443
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:41,818
I was with Caroline last night.
444
00:19:41,819 --> 00:19:44,153
But I didn't see him naked.
445
00:19:44,154 --> 00:19:46,489
I did. Our bathroom door doesn't lock.
446
00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:48,890
I see why he's your favorite, Mrs. F.
447
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:52,195
Uh, we're watching something.
448
00:19:52,196 --> 00:19:55,298
Can you two talk somewhere else?
449
00:19:55,299 --> 00:19:57,166
It's fine. I'll turn it up.
450
00:19:57,167 --> 00:19:59,168
Where... where's the remote?
451
00:19:59,169 --> 00:20:02,105
Whoa, Ma, I... I only
got engaged to be engaged
452
00:20:02,106 --> 00:20:04,273
'cause Dad was sick, and
I wanted you to be happy.
453
00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:06,676
But now I'm with Caroline, and...
454
00:20:06,677 --> 00:20:08,177
Caroline makes me happy.
455
00:20:08,178 --> 00:20:10,780
- I do?
- She does?
456
00:20:10,781 --> 00:20:11,781
You do.
457
00:20:11,782 --> 00:20:14,384
She does.
458
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,789
- Okay, it was...
- Uh, it was a sign...
459
00:20:19,790 --> 00:20:24,025
that Jessica didn't
belong there anymore.
460
00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:26,462
You know what?
461
00:20:26,463 --> 00:20:28,197
You make my Bobby smile.
462
00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:30,366
And he's even more
handsome when he smiles.
463
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,902
Chrissy, come down and meet Caroline!
464
00:20:32,903 --> 00:20:36,339
She hot? Cause I don't like uggos, Ma.
465
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:38,474
She's gorgeous.
466
00:20:38,475 --> 00:20:40,176
She looks like me.
467
00:20:40,177 --> 00:20:43,346
Just with a little more mustache.
468
00:20:43,347 --> 00:20:45,014
Welcome to our home, girls.
469
00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:47,083
Oh, thank you!
470
00:20:47,084 --> 00:20:49,784
You have no idea how
much this means to me!
471
00:20:52,922 --> 00:20:54,757
Try and get out of this hold.
472
00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:56,691
Who says I want to?
473
00:20:58,694 --> 00:21:00,363
So same time next Sunday?
474
00:21:06,228 --> 00:21:13,828
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