1
00:00:04,351 --> 00:00:06,385
People, I have huge news!
2
00:00:06,386 --> 00:00:09,053
Who's carrying the rest of it in?
3
00:00:11,992 --> 00:00:14,960
I found a way to
improve diner business,
4
00:00:14,961 --> 00:00:19,665
and the crazy part is I
don't have to fire you two.
5
00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:21,934
Are you gonna clean
that dead body smell
6
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:24,536
out of the ladies' room?
7
00:00:24,537 --> 00:00:28,607
No, that's what plug-in Glade is for.
8
00:00:28,608 --> 00:00:31,276
Okay, remember how that
ice bucket challenge
9
00:00:31,277 --> 00:00:32,678
caught on with celebrities?
10
00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:35,447
Han, people did those
challenges for ALS,
11
00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:37,883
not to get publicity for
a diner that Yelp calls,
12
00:00:37,884 --> 00:00:40,019
"A bit of a dice roll."
13
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:43,022
Well, I've invented the
condiment challenge.
14
00:00:43,023 --> 00:00:44,890
Why, 'cause condoms are a challenge
15
00:00:44,891 --> 00:00:47,191
to you and other virgins?
16
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,563
Earl, you're on fire!
17
00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:56,068
I'm gonna down ketchup and mustard
18
00:00:56,069 --> 00:00:58,303
and then nominate
Mr. George Clooney.
19
00:00:58,304 --> 00:01:00,739
If you really want this
thing to go viral,
20
00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:05,276
I happen to know that Clooney
likes him some spicy sriracha.
21
00:01:06,546 --> 00:01:09,614
All I know is that anal is hot.
22
00:01:12,452 --> 00:01:16,388
His wife's name is Amal, not anal.
23
00:01:16,389 --> 00:01:19,258
I still stand by my statement.
24
00:01:19,259 --> 00:01:20,959
Action!
25
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,061
Otherwise known as,
"Let's get this over with."
26
00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:30,535
(GARBLED) Mr. George...
27
00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:38,844
Uh-oh! I... hot!
28
00:01:38,845 --> 00:01:41,112
Too hot!
29
00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:47,519
I actually think that could go viral.
30
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,688
Damn! I hit the wrong thing.
31
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:53,058
Han! Han, do over!
32
00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:57,896
My insides are on fire!
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00:01:57,897 --> 00:02:00,132
PETER BJORN AN JOHN: (SINGING)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
34
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:01,767
(CASH REGISTER BELL DINGS)
35
00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:05,699
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
36
00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:10,829
Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: November 28, 2015
37
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I love Wednesdays.
38
00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:20,094
I get to erase all the genitalia
39
00:02:20,095 --> 00:02:22,629
that was drawn on the cupcake board.
40
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:26,165
And I love Thursdays 'cause
I get to redraw them.
41
00:02:28,036 --> 00:02:29,770
I need some more paper towels.
42
00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:32,773
Oh, I think they're downstairs.
43
00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:34,875
(CHUCKLES)
44
00:02:34,876 --> 00:02:37,244
Max, you do fake stairs so well.
45
00:02:37,245 --> 00:02:38,679
I know.
46
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,849
It's the second best thing I fake.
47
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,684
Hey, isn't that Andy?
48
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,017
My Andy?
49
00:02:45,754 --> 00:02:48,655
Oh, God, it is Candy Andy.
50
00:02:48,656 --> 00:02:49,857
(BICYCLE BELL DINGS)
51
00:02:49,858 --> 00:02:52,058
He's coming over here.
52
00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:56,597
Hey, Max. Wow.
53
00:02:56,598 --> 00:03:00,434
Your chalkboard has really nice legs.
54
00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:02,169
(CHUCKLES) Hi.
55
00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:04,705
- Hey.
- I know, so silly.
56
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,708
It's just I'm not very
good at seeing my exes.
57
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,909
Yeah, or hiding.
58
00:03:11,646 --> 00:03:12,880
How's the candy business?
59
00:03:12,881 --> 00:03:16,917
Sour? Nutty? Full of Nerds?
60
00:03:16,918 --> 00:03:18,952
It's great. Candy's not going anywhere,
61
00:03:18,953 --> 00:03:20,954
like my grandma's knee fat.
62
00:03:20,955 --> 00:03:22,489
So you guys still over at the diner?
63
00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:25,426
(SCOFFS) We aren't still at the diner.
64
00:03:25,427 --> 00:03:27,561
This is our cupcake window.
65
00:03:27,562 --> 00:03:29,263
Uh, hello?
66
00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:33,667
Your shift at the diner
started five minutes ago!
67
00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:35,602
Okay, we're still at the diner too.
68
00:03:35,603 --> 00:03:37,204
We're here, we're there, we're all over.
69
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:38,539
BOTH: Like herpes?
70
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:39,973
- Nice.
- Yeah.
71
00:03:39,974 --> 00:03:41,308
So what brings you over here
72
00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:43,610
besides obviously stalking
your ex-girlfriend?
73
00:03:43,611 --> 00:03:45,612
Actually, I'm looking for a flower shop.
74
00:03:45,613 --> 00:03:48,282
Oh, flowers for a girl
you never got over?
75
00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:50,784
Uh, no, for my fiancée.
76
00:03:50,785 --> 00:03:52,919
Did he just say Beyoncé?
77
00:03:55,123 --> 00:03:58,492
Actually, I'm getting married.
78
00:03:58,493 --> 00:04:00,793
Coo.
79
00:04:02,964 --> 00:04:04,565
Caroline, I'm sorry.
80
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:06,200
I was gonna call you and tell you,
81
00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:07,801
but then I felt like
maybe you wouldn't care.
82
00:04:07,802 --> 00:04:10,037
You know, I mean, it's been a long time.
83
00:04:10,038 --> 00:04:11,672
I hope you're not hurt.
84
00:04:11,673 --> 00:04:14,174
Hurt? I'm hurt.
85
00:04:14,175 --> 00:04:18,145
Hurt that you didn't ask me and
Max to do your wedding cake!
86
00:04:18,146 --> 00:04:20,446
Oh, God. I'll be downstairs.
87
00:04:23,751 --> 00:04:27,988
Well, yeah.
88
00:04:27,989 --> 00:04:30,591
Actually, Romy and I haven't
decided on a cake yet.
89
00:04:30,592 --> 00:04:32,426
You know, she's pretty busy.
She runs her own business.
90
00:04:32,427 --> 00:04:35,629
Ohh! Oh!
91
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:37,598
"The Business Bride."
92
00:04:37,599 --> 00:04:39,533
Wasn't that Katherine Heigl's last movie?
93
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:42,636
The one that brought her back to TV?
94
00:04:42,637 --> 00:04:44,404
Max, can you please come back upstairs?
95
00:04:44,405 --> 00:04:47,006
MAX: I'm waiting for the elevator!
96
00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:55,916
Is that Candy Andy?
97
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:57,050
Well, well.
98
00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:58,819
You two getting back together again?
99
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,021
- Oh, I'm getting married.
- To someone else.
100
00:05:01,022 --> 00:05:04,290
Oh, Lord, this is why I
don't like to be outside.
101
00:05:07,028 --> 00:05:08,662
Well, I gotta run.
102
00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:10,297
Not really. I'll be walking away.
103
00:05:10,298 --> 00:05:11,865
But if you're serious about the cake...
104
00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:13,333
So serious.
105
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:16,069
Major ser-i-osity!
106
00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:18,672
In fact, it's our wedding gift to you.
107
00:05:18,673 --> 00:05:20,073
- Oh, God.
- Max, stop.
108
00:05:20,074 --> 00:05:22,309
There is no downstairs.
109
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:26,914
Yeah, it's not possible to
get any lower than this.
110
00:05:26,915 --> 00:05:30,551
Okay, well...
111
00:05:30,552 --> 00:05:32,486
how about I text you
after I talk to Romy?
112
00:05:32,487 --> 00:05:33,754
It was great seeing you, Caroline.
113
00:05:33,755 --> 00:05:35,355
You too, Max.
114
00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:37,791
You guys are gonna watch my
butt as I walk away, right?
115
00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:40,594
You gonna make it clap for daddy?
116
00:05:40,595 --> 00:05:44,196
I cannot make it clap, but
I can make it go, "Whoo!"
117
00:05:46,701 --> 00:05:50,370
Um, couple things.
118
00:05:50,371 --> 00:05:52,072
One, he's still hot.
119
00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:54,308
And two, are you insane?
120
00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:57,277
You want us to do your
ex-boyfriend's wedding cake?
121
00:05:57,278 --> 00:06:00,547
Max, I broke up with him. Remember?
122
00:06:00,548 --> 00:06:03,083
I'm a mature, evolved, sophisticated,
123
00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:06,520
sexy but not in your face about it woman.
124
00:06:06,521 --> 00:06:07,654
I can handle this.
125
00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:09,556
I think it's a bad idea.
126
00:06:09,557 --> 00:06:12,826
And I know bad ideas. I was one.
127
00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:15,128
I...
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00:06:15,129 --> 00:06:18,966
broke up... with him.
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00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:22,236
Dramatic... talking...
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00:06:22,237 --> 00:06:24,770
is... annoying.
131
00:06:29,077 --> 00:06:30,544
How's it going there, hot stuff?
132
00:06:30,545 --> 00:06:32,713
Is your tongue working?
133
00:06:32,714 --> 00:06:34,982
I'm gonna think of another
video to go viral
134
00:06:34,983 --> 00:06:37,618
to set this place on fire, and if not,
135
00:06:37,619 --> 00:06:41,421
I'll eventually have to
set this place on fire.
136
00:06:41,422 --> 00:06:43,523
Either way, I'm not giving up.
137
00:06:43,524 --> 00:06:46,225
You tell your clothes that?
'Cause they didn't get the memo.
138
00:06:47,395 --> 00:06:49,997
Get this. Andy says that he and Romy
139
00:06:49,998 --> 00:06:52,032
would love to meet us to
talk about wedding cakes
140
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,001
at their loft in Manhattan.
141
00:06:54,002 --> 00:06:56,069
(BRITISH ACCENT)
Queen Romy has summoned us
142
00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:59,605
to a cake tasting at their loft!
143
00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:04,945
Uh, can I borrow your phone for a sec?
144
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,413
There. I deleted his text.
145
00:07:06,414 --> 00:07:07,481
I deleted his number.
146
00:07:07,482 --> 00:07:10,984
I also deleted my number.
147
00:07:10,985 --> 00:07:13,353
We aren't doing this.
You are not that cool.
148
00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:14,855
Everyone knows that.
149
00:07:14,856 --> 00:07:17,357
You're not. Cool girls don't freak out
150
00:07:17,358 --> 00:07:20,092
when you cop a feel in the freezer.
151
00:07:21,462 --> 00:07:22,796
Oh! Oh!
152
00:07:22,797 --> 00:07:24,598
You know his number by heart.
153
00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:26,366
This has nothing to do with my heart.
154
00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:28,568
It's business. I broke up with him.
155
00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:30,970
It's like you don't know
that I broke up with him.
156
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,041
I broke up with him.
Didn't know if you caught that
157
00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:36,176
'cause my back was to you.
158
00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:38,644
Hey, everybody!
159
00:07:44,285 --> 00:07:45,852
Good news!
160
00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:49,122
My baby was delivered today.
161
00:07:49,123 --> 00:07:50,657
Oh, my God!
162
00:07:50,658 --> 00:07:53,459
Did I black out for nine months again?
163
00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:58,265
The baby didn't come
out of my box, Earl.
164
00:07:58,266 --> 00:08:01,702
It came out of this one.
165
00:08:01,703 --> 00:08:05,839
Wow, you can really get
anything on Amazon.
166
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,774
It's called a "Maybe Baby."
167
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:10,510
While Oleg and I are
trying to get pregnant,
168
00:08:10,511 --> 00:08:15,282
we're gonna use it to
practice for the real thing.
169
00:08:15,283 --> 00:08:17,316
So you're having a key-section?
170
00:08:22,924 --> 00:08:25,158
Strangely, this is not the weirdest birth
171
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:29,296
we've seen at the diner.
172
00:08:29,297 --> 00:08:31,231
Do you like him?
173
00:08:31,232 --> 00:08:35,302
Weren't you the baby
in "American Sniper"?
174
00:08:35,303 --> 00:08:37,604
Yeah, it's got a computer
inside to keep track
175
00:08:37,605 --> 00:08:39,206
of our parenting skills.
176
00:08:39,207 --> 00:08:42,809
And if we get a score of over 92,
177
00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:45,011
we get 20% at Papa John's.
178
00:08:45,012 --> 00:08:47,646
Any Papa John's!
179
00:08:49,217 --> 00:08:52,885
Well, you're having a fake baby
for all the right reasons.
180
00:08:54,856 --> 00:08:56,423
The baby's here?
181
00:08:56,424 --> 00:09:00,394
Aww, you're a father. Think fast!
182
00:09:00,395 --> 00:09:02,095
Aww!
183
00:09:02,096 --> 00:09:05,132
Our first father-son catch.
184
00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:08,869
Let's get to know each other... "Bob"?
185
00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:12,105
All they had left were the white babies.
186
00:09:12,106 --> 00:09:16,509
The single actresses over 40
snap up all the minorities.
187
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:21,748
Hey, Max.
188
00:09:21,749 --> 00:09:25,852
Could you maybe babysit
my Maybe Baby tomorrow?
189
00:09:25,853 --> 00:09:30,123
You know, 'cause I-I
really need some me time.
190
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:31,792
Fine. 20 bucks an hour.
191
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,460
Extra in case he orders some adult movies
192
00:09:33,461 --> 00:09:35,796
I've been wanting to see.
193
00:09:35,797 --> 00:09:39,099
Okay, Max, wash your fancy sweatpants.
194
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,834
We are confirmed for Andy and Romy's
195
00:09:40,835 --> 00:09:42,936
wedding cake tasting for tomorrow.
196
00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:45,872
(GASPS) Andy? You mean that cute guy
197
00:09:45,873 --> 00:09:48,875
that you ruined your relationship with?
198
00:09:48,876 --> 00:09:51,411
Sophie, it wasn't the right relationship.
199
00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:53,980
He didn't support my career.
200
00:09:53,981 --> 00:09:56,081
The cupcake thing?
201
00:09:58,419 --> 00:10:00,252
(BELL RINGS)
202
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:10,030
Pickup!
203
00:10:10,031 --> 00:10:12,164
Like father like son.
204
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:26,844
Thank you guys so much for coming.
205
00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:28,379
These cakes look so lovely.
206
00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,915
They are.
207
00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:32,783
Really nice place you got here.
208
00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:36,620
I noticed there was a
door on the bathroom.
209
00:10:36,621 --> 00:10:39,924
I don't want to brag, but check
out all the outlets we got.
210
00:10:39,925 --> 00:10:42,426
Lot of power. Two-prong, three-prong.
211
00:10:42,427 --> 00:10:44,261
You got one of those
weird European plugs?
212
00:10:44,262 --> 00:10:46,697
Bring it.
213
00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:47,898
How funny is he?
214
00:10:47,899 --> 00:10:51,602
Oh, the funniest.
215
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:54,171
Oh, God.
216
00:10:54,172 --> 00:10:56,407
So, Romy, it looks like you travel a lot.
217
00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:57,708
I love all your...
218
00:10:57,709 --> 00:11:00,177
(FRENCH ACCENT) Objet d'art.
219
00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:02,813
Oh, God.
220
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:04,782
I'm a hat designer, so I go to Malaysia
221
00:11:04,783 --> 00:11:06,951
and Sri Lanka a lot for materials.
222
00:11:06,952 --> 00:11:10,087
I'm poor, so I go to
McDonald's and Taco Bell a lot
223
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:11,988
for my meals.
224
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:14,959
Oh, show 'em one of your hats, Romes.
225
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,728
The purple one Pippa Middleton
wore in "Star" magazine.
226
00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:20,965
Oh! Pippa Middleton, wow.
227
00:11:20,966 --> 00:11:22,833
She was up for a job
on "The Today Show,"
228
00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,334
but she didn't get it.
229
00:11:28,673 --> 00:11:30,408
Andy, they don't want to see my hats.
230
00:11:30,409 --> 00:11:32,176
Oh, Andy wants us to see your hats.
231
00:11:32,177 --> 00:11:34,378
Let's see your hats. (GIGGLES)
232
00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:37,114
Oh, this guy was there when
no one believed in me,
233
00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:39,083
and he supported me in every way,
234
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:41,786
and now I'm in over a hundred
department stores worldwide.
235
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:44,455
Worldwide? (FORCED LAUGH)
236
00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:47,123
That is wide.
237
00:11:49,895 --> 00:11:52,496
You know the tasting is for them, right?
238
00:11:52,497 --> 00:11:54,598
Come on, let 'em see what you do.
239
00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:56,400
Sorry, I'm a proud fiancé.
240
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:58,769
It's a little unmanly, but it's m'thing.
241
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:00,337
Ooh, I'll go get Black Dahlia.
242
00:12:00,338 --> 00:12:02,639
Max will like that one.
243
00:12:09,714 --> 00:12:11,715
(COUGHS) Oh!
244
00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:12,750
You okay?
245
00:12:12,751 --> 00:12:14,418
Absolutely.
246
00:12:14,419 --> 00:12:16,620
We didn't work out, you
found someone great,
247
00:12:16,621 --> 00:12:19,824
supported her business, and
now you're getting married.
248
00:12:19,825 --> 00:12:23,227
Pretty sure he meant, "Are you choking?"
249
00:12:23,228 --> 00:12:25,196
Yup, that's where I was headed.
250
00:12:25,197 --> 00:12:27,198
Caroline, you broke up with me.
251
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,866
She broke up with you?
252
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:31,669
I hadn't heard that.
253
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:34,671
See? All bitter... better.
254
00:12:36,508 --> 00:12:38,476
Max, do you want to try it on?
255
00:12:38,477 --> 00:12:40,411
Ahem, she doesn't need a hat.
256
00:12:40,412 --> 00:12:43,981
Romes said I could have the sweet hat!
257
00:12:43,982 --> 00:12:46,584
Oh, it looks adorable on her.
You should have it.
258
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:49,787
(CHUCKLES) What is this,
a hat tasting now?
259
00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:51,989
Well, it's not a cupcake tasting anymore
260
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:53,858
'cause you ate them all.
261
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:56,760
You guys are hilarious.
I don't need to taste those.
262
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:58,796
You and Max are a part of Andy's past,
263
00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:00,865
and I would honored if you'd do our cake
264
00:13:00,866 --> 00:13:02,766
and come to the wedding as our guests.
265
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:04,969
Oh, that is a great idea.
Hey, there will be a lot
266
00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:06,971
of self-destructive man-children there.
267
00:13:06,972 --> 00:13:10,141
Max, feels like your kind of party.
268
00:13:10,142 --> 00:13:12,143
And it's on this awesome yacht.
269
00:13:12,144 --> 00:13:15,079
You know, technically it's not a yacht
270
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,548
unless it's over 40 feet.
271
00:13:17,549 --> 00:13:19,549
Is it? Okay.
272
00:13:20,952 --> 00:13:22,653
Come on. It'll be fun.
273
00:13:22,654 --> 00:13:25,322
Gah! I don't know.
274
00:13:25,323 --> 00:13:27,158
And I'm not really into fun.
275
00:13:27,159 --> 00:13:29,927
You know, I've had fun
and it's not that fun.
276
00:13:29,928 --> 00:13:32,196
Got it. What was I thinking?
277
00:13:32,197 --> 00:13:33,898
Be weird for you, Caroline, right?
278
00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:35,866
Weird?
279
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,369
Weird if we didn't come!
280
00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:40,570
Oh, God.
281
00:13:51,015 --> 00:13:52,883
Look at this, Max.
282
00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:55,585
Cupcakes and candy.
283
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,721
This could have been me and Andy's cake.
284
00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:01,124
Our perfect cake for
our perfect marriage.
285
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:05,195
No marriage is perfect...
except Ice-T and Coco.
286
00:14:05,196 --> 00:14:06,897
Now, he's not perfect.
287
00:14:06,898 --> 00:14:09,499
You broke up with him for a reason.
288
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,467
Andy's out there now. Come here.
289
00:14:11,468 --> 00:14:12,802
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
290
00:14:12,803 --> 00:14:16,005
Music at a wedding? How original.
291
00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:17,640
Oh, there he is.
292
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:21,177
He looks so handsome in a tuxedo.
293
00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:24,180
Calm down. So does Jane Lynch.
294
00:14:24,181 --> 00:14:26,416
He's not perfect. Look, there.
295
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,885
He's going in for a nose pick.
296
00:14:28,886 --> 00:14:31,621
No, just a scratch.
297
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:36,459
He has such nice hands. Big hands.
298
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,162
And there's gonna be a ring on it soon.
299
00:14:39,163 --> 00:14:41,898
He's looking over here! Oh, oh!
300
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:44,534
- He can't see me cry!
- Okay, come on.
301
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,835
Think of something bad about him.
302
00:14:45,836 --> 00:14:47,670
Think, think, think, think, think.
303
00:14:47,671 --> 00:14:51,641
Uh... he always took too
long to finish during sex!
304
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:55,545
Oh, wait. That's a good thing.
305
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,881
It is? All right, come on.
306
00:14:58,882 --> 00:15:00,717
There had to be something terribly wrong
307
00:15:00,718 --> 00:15:01,818
with that relationship.
308
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:04,887
There was. That I ended it.
309
00:15:04,888 --> 00:15:08,291
I kicked the perfect guy
for me out of my life.
310
00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:10,326
Yup, here come the tears.
311
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,995
And here comes Andy!
312
00:15:11,996 --> 00:15:15,665
Uh, do you have a bathroom? Oh!
313
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:17,433
(WEDDING GUESTS APPLAUDING)
314
00:15:17,434 --> 00:15:19,969
Hey! Thought I saw you
guys peeking out of here.
315
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:23,006
So you guys act weird everywhere?
316
00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,540
Yup, that's our signature.
317
00:15:24,541 --> 00:15:27,777
Got us bounced out of Six Flags.
318
00:15:27,778 --> 00:15:29,545
Where's Caroline?
319
00:15:29,546 --> 00:15:31,047
The pretty ladies' room.
320
00:15:31,048 --> 00:15:32,482
BOTH: Hmm.
321
00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:34,083
So it looks like you're getting married
322
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:36,019
to Not Caroline.
323
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,620
How's she doing?
324
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:39,322
I'm getting the feeling
this has been hard for her.
325
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:41,691
Temperature check.
326
00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,459
Okay, I don't understand.
327
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:47,964
Are you asking me to bend over?
328
00:15:47,965 --> 00:15:49,966
What if Caroline thought
she might have made a mistake
329
00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:51,567
by breaking up with you?
Would you consider being
330
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:53,469
a runaway groom and giving it
another shot with her?
331
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,104
Just a thought.
332
00:15:55,105 --> 00:15:57,140
Well, I guess I'd have
to say it's too late.
333
00:15:57,141 --> 00:15:59,709
I'm getting married to Romy. I love her.
334
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,743
So that's a firm no?
335
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:08,450
Uh, Max.
336
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,486
All yours now.
337
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:15,591
How about we pretend like
none of this happened
338
00:16:15,592 --> 00:16:17,860
and you guys come watch
me get married, okay?
339
00:16:17,861 --> 00:16:21,030
Andy, wait.
340
00:16:21,031 --> 00:16:23,299
I'm sorry.
341
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,469
I really am happy for you.
342
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:29,005
Go live your life. I wish you well.
343
00:16:29,006 --> 00:16:32,909
Thank you. That means a lot to me.
344
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,478
Um...
345
00:16:35,479 --> 00:16:38,448
I really did love you.
346
00:16:38,449 --> 00:16:39,982
I know.
347
00:16:39,983 --> 00:16:41,417
Even though you broke up with me.
348
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:44,186
Yeah, even though I broke up with you.
349
00:16:50,094 --> 00:16:53,362
I did it. I didn't cry.
350
00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,931
Max, what's wrong?
351
00:17:00,337 --> 00:17:03,004
(SOBBING)
You could have had it all!
352
00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:07,844
Max, I've never seen you cry.
353
00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:13,182
I'm sorry, but maybe he
was the perfect guy!
354
00:17:13,183 --> 00:17:16,886
And he loved you! You heard him!
355
00:17:16,887 --> 00:17:20,356
Max, it's okay. Nobody gets it all.
356
00:17:20,357 --> 00:17:21,991
Max, turn around and look at me.
357
00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:24,393
No, I don't want you to see me cry.
358
00:17:24,394 --> 00:17:28,131
Max, turn around.
359
00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:30,999
This hat doesn't even work!
360
00:17:35,272 --> 00:17:37,907
Oh, hey, I was just
looking for the bathroom.
361
00:17:37,908 --> 00:17:40,143
I wanted to get stoned
before Andy got hitched.
362
00:17:40,144 --> 00:17:42,512
You got some love for
me and my friend here?
363
00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:44,814
- We need it.
- Whoa.
364
00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,449
They put candy on Andy's wedding cake?
365
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,384
Brutal, dude.
366
00:17:48,385 --> 00:17:50,253
Why is it brutal, dude?
367
00:17:50,254 --> 00:17:52,655
'Cause of the bald spot
where I ate the gumdrops?
368
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:55,224
No, I mean with Andy's
business in the toilet.
369
00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:57,693
Andy's business is in the toilet?
370
00:17:57,694 --> 00:18:00,196
Yeah, he had to close
it down, but it's cool.
371
00:18:00,197 --> 00:18:02,632
Romy's, like, loaded now.
372
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:03,966
I can't believe Andy didn't tell me
373
00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:05,668
his business was in the toilet.
374
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,436
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
375
00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:09,205
Oh, bummer.
376
00:18:09,206 --> 00:18:11,307
Looks like I gotta do
this wedding thing sobes.
377
00:18:11,308 --> 00:18:13,942
As long as it's not me, right?
378
00:18:16,146 --> 00:18:18,915
That stoner, who I can easily see
379
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:22,385
having very sloppy sex with later,
380
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:26,255
just saved the day 'cause now
we know Andy lied to you.
381
00:18:26,256 --> 00:18:29,025
And I wouldn't want to be with
someone who can't be honest.
382
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:31,227
See? He is so not perfect.
383
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:33,729
You so would not have had it all.
384
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:36,165
- Caroline.
- Andy?
385
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:38,835
I'm kind of in a hurry but I
think you should know something.
386
00:18:38,836 --> 00:18:41,370
I lost my business.
387
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,272
I didn't want to tell you
because I was too proud.
388
00:18:43,273 --> 00:18:45,808
I wanted you to think my life
was perfect, and it's not.
389
00:18:45,809 --> 00:18:48,177
I mean, it's great,
but it's not perfect.
390
00:18:48,178 --> 00:18:51,713
Okay, I gotta go get married.
See you out there.
391
00:18:56,086 --> 00:18:58,654
All right, so he's perfect.
392
00:18:58,655 --> 00:19:01,390
I guess I'm not taking this dress back
393
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,559
'cause we're swimming home.
394
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,027
We're not swimming.
395
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:07,429
We're gonna take the
"I hate my life" boat.
396
00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:14,837
Um, big news.
397
00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:17,740
Andy and Romy are in Mexico
for their honeymoon.
398
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,008
Weather forecast?
399
00:19:19,009 --> 00:19:22,812
Cloudy with a chance of diarrhea.
400
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,381
Um, can I borrow that for a sec?
401
00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,916
Oh, you're on her Instagram.
402
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:28,651
Cute. Good-bye.
403
00:19:28,652 --> 00:19:30,152
You unfollowed her?
404
00:19:30,153 --> 00:19:31,487
Now it's gonna look like I'm jealous
405
00:19:31,488 --> 00:19:33,055
and can't handle their happiness.
406
00:19:33,056 --> 00:19:34,824
Ya can't!
407
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,760
Hey, everybody! Look!
408
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,496
I got our report card back
from the Maybe Baby people!
409
00:19:40,497 --> 00:19:42,531
We passed the test!
410
00:19:42,532 --> 00:19:46,502
We're gonna be solid "C" parents!
411
00:19:46,503 --> 00:19:49,238
Well, that's a better
grade than the diner got.
412
00:19:49,239 --> 00:19:51,407
I'm gonna miss that little guy.
413
00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:53,175
What I'm not gonna miss is fighting it
414
00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:55,310
to get to Sophie's boob.
415
00:19:57,014 --> 00:19:59,048
Okay, people.
416
00:19:59,049 --> 00:20:00,483
Are you leaving?
417
00:20:00,484 --> 00:20:03,452
I hope it was something I said.
418
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,888
Well, I have a video
that is sure to go viral.
419
00:20:05,889 --> 00:20:08,357
I'm gonna stuff myself in this suitcase
420
00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:10,526
for the Williamsburg Diner challenge.
421
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,228
Caroline, you film it this time.
422
00:20:12,229 --> 00:20:13,896
Max, you zip me up.
423
00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:17,934
And I thought I'd be the
first one to die here.
424
00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:21,504
I, Han Lee, nominate Mr. George Clooney
425
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:23,372
to the Williamsburg Diner challenge
426
00:20:23,373 --> 00:20:25,508
of packing yourself in a suitcase.
427
00:20:25,509 --> 00:20:29,111
I'm also a fan of "The
Men Who Stare At Goats."
428
00:20:29,112 --> 00:20:31,847
Let 'er zip, Max!
429
00:20:31,848 --> 00:20:35,650
Han... consider this my birthday present.
430
00:20:37,754 --> 00:20:40,856
I got my Papa John's gift certificate.
431
00:20:40,857 --> 00:20:44,160
Mama Sophie wants to buy
pizza for everyone!
432
00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:46,761
Well, now is as good a time as any.
433
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,499
HAN: Hello?
434
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,736
Are you filming? Hello?
435
00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:57,707
Don't tell George Clooney!
436
00:20:57,708 --> 00:21:00,575
Anyone? Are you filming?
437
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,214
(CASH REGISTER BELL DINGS)
438
00:21:07,093 --> 00:21:13,383
Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: November 28, 2015