1
00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:04,946
Look at that.
Dogs in the diner.
2
00:00:04,948 --> 00:00:08,366
Where are we, Paris?
3
00:00:08,368 --> 00:00:12,537
'Cause if we are, I'm gonna
stop wearing deodorant.
4
00:00:12,539 --> 00:00:14,840
Did you guys see
that adorable dog?
5
00:00:14,842 --> 00:00:17,209
You mean the one leaking
rabies all over the table
6
00:00:17,211 --> 00:00:18,710
while people
are trying to eat?
7
00:00:18,712 --> 00:00:20,212
She said
he's allowed to be in here.
8
00:00:20,214 --> 00:00:22,464
He's her registered
emotional companion.
9
00:00:22,466 --> 00:00:25,884
Her registered
full-of-crap what?
10
00:00:25,886 --> 00:00:28,053
He's got one of those
official vests that says
11
00:00:28,055 --> 00:00:29,688
"don't pet me,
I'm working."
12
00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,757
I have a shirt that says
"federal bikini inspector,"
13
00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:35,810
but there is simply no such
branch of the U.S. government.
14
00:00:35,812 --> 00:00:38,063
[Clears throat]
15
00:00:38,065 --> 00:00:40,649
Hi, so, uh,
what the hell is this?
16
00:00:40,651 --> 00:00:43,235
Excuse me?
I don't understand.
17
00:00:43,237 --> 00:00:44,786
Dogs aren't allowed
in the diner.
18
00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:46,538
Oh, he's legally allowed
to be here.
19
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,107
He's my registered
emotional companion.
20
00:00:49,109 --> 00:00:52,460
You mean you don't
have a boyfriend.
21
00:00:52,462 --> 00:00:54,629
No,
I suffer from anxiety.
22
00:00:54,631 --> 00:00:57,048
You mean you don't
want to eat alone.
23
00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:59,134
No, I have a note
from a doctor.
24
00:00:59,136 --> 00:01:03,588
You mean you have a printer
and the Internet.
25
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:06,474
Admit it,
and the dog can stay.
26
00:01:06,476 --> 00:01:10,061
It's really hard
meeting guys.
27
00:01:10,063 --> 00:01:13,798
There's a good boy.
I'll get you a cookie.
28
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,318
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
29
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,719
[cash register bell dings]
30
00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:20,247
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪
31
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:23,295
sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
32
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,872
[speaking korean]
33
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,608
Is it just me,
or does Han sound kind of sexy
34
00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:36,677
when he speaks korean?
35
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:40,214
[Speaking korean]
36
00:01:40,216 --> 00:01:43,467
Looks like Han,
sounds like Barry White.
37
00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,435
[Speaking korean]
38
00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:46,770
Who was that, Han?
39
00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:49,056
Do you have a hot,
new korean girlfriend?
40
00:01:49,058 --> 00:01:50,557
Yeah, someone
who really likes you
41
00:01:50,559 --> 00:01:52,309
and is $1.50
for the first minute
42
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,094
and $2 for each
additional minute?
43
00:01:54,096 --> 00:01:57,764
I was talking
to my mother!
44
00:01:57,766 --> 00:02:00,484
So... yes?
45
00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:03,487
I was not talking hot.
I was apologizing.
46
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,322
She's still angry
I left home.
47
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:07,941
She thinks I'm freewheeling
American who takes drugs
48
00:02:07,943 --> 00:02:11,745
and has intercourse
with dirty kardashian.
49
00:02:13,614 --> 00:02:16,717
Does she know you buy
your sweaters at build-a-bear?
50
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:20,220
Well, I don't know
a lot about the korean culture,
51
00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:22,306
but maybe you should
stand up for yourself
52
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,141
and stop apologizing
to your mother.
53
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,176
Yeah, what do you
even have to apologize for?
54
00:02:26,178 --> 00:02:29,396
You must have been
the easiest birth ever.
55
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:33,517
She could've coughed you
into a catcher's mitt.
56
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,190
I'm making a cappuccino,
you want one?
57
00:02:40,192 --> 00:02:42,109
Nope, I can't have
any caffeine.
58
00:02:42,111 --> 00:02:44,828
I have to keep my system clean.
I'm doing a drug trial tomorrow.
59
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,496
Max,
not one of those places
60
00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:47,831
where they use you
as a Guinea pig
61
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,199
to test for side effects
of new drugs
62
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:50,667
that go on the market?
63
00:02:50,669 --> 00:02:53,253
Or, as I like to call it,
getting paid $500
64
00:02:53,255 --> 00:02:54,988
to, uh, roll
the side effects dice
65
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,758
and hope it lands
on hallucinations.
66
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,460
I would never
do something like that.
67
00:03:00,462 --> 00:03:02,095
I consider
my body a temple.
68
00:03:02,097 --> 00:03:04,298
Didn't I see
your "temple" eat a bag
69
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,666
of flaming hot cheetos
two nights ago?
70
00:03:06,668 --> 00:03:08,518
And that
was a huge mistake.
71
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,337
I still have a little...
72
00:03:10,339 --> 00:03:13,640
Burny heinie.
73
00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:15,508
And besides, think of
all the people who are
74
00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:18,445
lowering their cholesterol
safely because of me.
75
00:03:18,447 --> 00:03:21,014
Or the people who aren't
taking klamitra because of me.
76
00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:22,699
I never
heard of klamitra.
77
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:25,018
You're welcome.
78
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,653
I know klamitra.
79
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:29,873
Sexy black woman
who teaches my spin class.
80
00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:33,327
Uh, hello, uh,
maybe you can help me.
81
00:03:33,329 --> 00:03:34,778
I'm looking
for Caroline Channing.
82
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:37,047
I have a legal matter
to discuss with her.
83
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,966
Never heard of her.
Never seen her.
84
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:43,370
- Mr. hutchinson?
- Never took an oath.
85
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:46,657
Oh, my God,
Mr. hutchinson, hi.
86
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,508
I haven't seen you
since my father's scandal broke
87
00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:51,728
and they were dragging you
out of your law offices.
88
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,014
Can I hug you?
I mean, it's been so long
89
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,049
since I've seen anyone
from my old life.
90
00:03:56,051 --> 00:03:57,634
But, uh,
not too hard.
91
00:03:57,636 --> 00:04:03,240
Ever since the scandal,
I've had acid reflux.
92
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:05,492
Didn't you
used to be taller?
93
00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:08,445
No, uh, prouder.
94
00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:11,064
Oh, uh, Mr. hutchinson,
this is my friend, Max.
95
00:04:11,066 --> 00:04:13,750
Max, this is Leo Hutchinson,
one of my father's attorneys.
96
00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:15,369
Oh, I've never
known a lawyer
97
00:04:15,371 --> 00:04:19,089
who wasn't
court-appointed for me.
98
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,924
Well, except for
the ones on law & order.
99
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,742
Have you ever
been on that show?
100
00:04:22,744 --> 00:04:25,429
No,
I'm a real lawyer.
101
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:29,266
You look like someone
who was on that show.
102
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:30,384
Are you sure
you didn't represent
103
00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:33,804
the woman
who ate her child?
104
00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:37,607
I've never represented
anyone who ate their child.
105
00:04:37,609 --> 00:04:40,110
On law & order.
106
00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:44,781
Caroline, I'm sorry
to drag you into this,
107
00:04:44,783 --> 00:04:48,068
but the prosecutor is asking
for you to give a deposition
108
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,320
regarding
your father's case.
109
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:54,875
Anything I can do to help?
I'm pretty courtroom savvy.
110
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,743
I mean, I haven't seen
every episode of law & order,
111
00:04:56,745 --> 00:04:59,379
just, like, 400 of them.
112
00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:02,299
For instance,
the, uh, judge's hammer?
113
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:04,668
Not called a hammer.
114
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:06,920
Reflux! Oh!
115
00:05:06,922 --> 00:05:08,305
Sorry.
116
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:10,891
I just... I need to
take a rylindia.
117
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,726
Ah, rylindia.
Does that work?
118
00:05:12,728 --> 00:05:17,681
- Hmm.
- You're welcome.
119
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:20,434
Well, thank you for coming
all the way out here.
120
00:05:20,436 --> 00:05:22,652
I know I'm in good hands
with you representing me.
121
00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:25,989
Uh, well, Caroline, as much
as I would love to help you
122
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:28,575
and your
legal associate here,
123
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:30,643
uh, the firm won't let me
do it for free.
124
00:05:30,645 --> 00:05:33,864
I mean, your father's case
bankrupted us practically,
125
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:36,500
and my standard rate
is $1,100 an hour.
126
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,336
You know I don't have
that kind of money.
127
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,004
Last week,
I gave myself a bikini wax
128
00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:45,092
with duct tape
I stole from the diner.
129
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,260
I'm gonna need
another rylindia.
130
00:05:47,262 --> 00:05:49,212
Oh, don't take two of those
in under an hour
131
00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:54,684
unless you want to have
an orgasm every time you yawn.
132
00:05:54,686 --> 00:05:58,638
[Chuckles]
You're welcome again.
133
00:06:00,391 --> 00:06:03,143
Mr. hutchinson,
I need you to do this.
134
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,812
You can make this go away
as easily as possible.
135
00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:07,481
Please don't
make me beg.
136
00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:10,400
The floor's gross,
and my skirt's too short.
137
00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:11,868
Counselor,
at this juncture,
138
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,487
I am going to need to
take miss Channing
139
00:06:13,489 --> 00:06:18,691
and have a sidebar
over near the bar bar.
140
00:06:18,693 --> 00:06:20,327
How fun is this,
by the way?
141
00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:21,795
I'm, like,
your lawyer now.
142
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:24,498
Oh, real fun.
About as fun as that bikini wax.
143
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,752
And then I had to spend $14
on neosporin.
144
00:06:28,754 --> 00:06:32,722
Don't worry, I know how you
can make $500 in one night.
145
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:37,477
I've been telling her that
since she got here.
146
00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:39,312
Max, I am not
doing a drug trial.
147
00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:41,047
Besides,
it's not enough money anyway.
148
00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:43,350
No, but after
I put in my $500,
149
00:06:43,352 --> 00:06:45,569
plus we take $100
from the cupcake fund.
150
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,104
You would do that
for me?
151
00:06:48,106 --> 00:06:49,722
You know, I always thought
we'd have to use
152
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:51,658
the cupcake money to get us
out of a legal problem.
153
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,910
I just thought
it'd be for you.
154
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:56,780
Me too!
155
00:06:56,782 --> 00:07:00,033
Welcome aboard,
drug buddy.
156
00:07:07,005 --> 00:07:08,255
I can't believe
I'm doing a drug trial.
157
00:07:08,257 --> 00:07:10,591
I won't even use stevia.
158
00:07:10,593 --> 00:07:12,026
It'll be fun!
159
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:14,461
Just think of it as
a middle-school sleepover.
160
00:07:14,463 --> 00:07:16,413
But with drugs.
161
00:07:16,415 --> 00:07:20,134
Yeah,
a middle-school sleepover.
162
00:07:20,136 --> 00:07:22,269
So when
you did this before,
163
00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:24,138
you never got
any side effects, right?
164
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:28,991
Well, no negative ones.
I used to be an "a" cup.
165
00:07:30,729 --> 00:07:32,396
Wow, everybody
looks so normal.
166
00:07:32,398 --> 00:07:35,149
This is more like
sorority row than skid row.
167
00:07:35,151 --> 00:07:36,650
Hi!
I'm Katie.
168
00:07:36,652 --> 00:07:38,485
Just found out
there's three to a room,
169
00:07:38,487 --> 00:07:40,821
and I was wondering if you guys
have chosen a roomie yet.
170
00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:42,373
Wait, there's three
in a room?
171
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,574
Yeah, I know.
172
00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:45,242
You want to be careful
who you get.
173
00:07:45,244 --> 00:07:47,661
Anyways,
I'm a self-mutilator,
174
00:07:47,663 --> 00:07:50,965
and, um, I was wondering if
you could keep an eye on me.
175
00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:54,001
Just wrestle anything
out of my hands that's sharp.
176
00:07:54,003 --> 00:07:55,636
Uh,
you know what, Katie?
177
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,788
We are
self-mutilators too.
178
00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,307
So, uh, we kind of
have our hands full.
179
00:08:00,309 --> 00:08:03,010
Yeah,
we're gonna be super-busy
180
00:08:03,012 --> 00:08:05,179
self-mutilating ourselves.
181
00:08:05,181 --> 00:08:06,847
No worries.
182
00:08:06,849 --> 00:08:10,434
Max, you should have told me
about the bed situation.
183
00:08:10,436 --> 00:08:12,803
Untested experimental drugs
is one thing,
184
00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:15,823
but three to a room?
That's barbaric!
185
00:08:15,825 --> 00:08:16,991
It'll be fine!
186
00:08:16,993 --> 00:08:18,692
We just have to pick
the right girl.
187
00:08:18,694 --> 00:08:21,946
What about, uh,
the one in the raincoat?
188
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:23,313
She looks stuck-up,
189
00:08:23,315 --> 00:08:25,199
like she'd talk
about herself all night.
190
00:08:25,201 --> 00:08:30,170
Yeah, we already
got one of those.
191
00:08:30,172 --> 00:08:31,872
What about, uh...
192
00:08:31,874 --> 00:08:33,323
What about
Bob Marley shirt?
193
00:08:33,325 --> 00:08:37,711
She looks like
she smells.
194
00:08:37,713 --> 00:08:41,715
- Confirmed.
- Right there.
195
00:08:41,717 --> 00:08:43,467
That's who we want.
She looks smart
196
00:08:43,469 --> 00:08:44,885
and like she'd
mind her own business.
197
00:08:44,887 --> 00:08:48,689
Hey!
What are you up to?
198
00:08:48,691 --> 00:08:52,175
Nothing.
Just minding my own business.
199
00:08:52,177 --> 00:08:54,011
Hey, want to be
our roommate?
200
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:56,847
Oh, I just said yes
to a self-mutilator,
201
00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:58,348
but I can get out of it.
202
00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:02,403
She probably
loves rejection.
203
00:09:02,405 --> 00:09:04,738
All right,
ladies, listen up!
204
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:06,707
- Hey, Max!
- Hi, Toby.
205
00:09:06,709 --> 00:09:08,242
Heads-up,
me, her, and, uh...
206
00:09:08,244 --> 00:09:09,376
Excuse me,
what's your name?
207
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:10,878
Oh, it's cool,
208
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,379
we don't have to do,
like, the name thing.
209
00:09:12,381 --> 00:09:14,248
[Scoffs]
A girl after my own heart!
210
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,166
- We're roommates.
- Got it.
211
00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:18,502
Now, since most of you
have done this before,
212
00:09:18,504 --> 00:09:19,670
I'll make it quick.
213
00:09:19,672 --> 00:09:21,472
Half of you
will get a placebo.
214
00:09:21,474 --> 00:09:24,425
The other half will be a testing
a new drug called gladiva,
215
00:09:24,427 --> 00:09:28,896
and no, that's not my stage name
down at the clubs.
216
00:09:28,898 --> 00:09:31,231
Okay,
possible side effects
217
00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:34,718
may occur over
the next 24 to 48 hours.
218
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,354
They are...
Drum roll please...
219
00:09:37,356 --> 00:09:39,723
Headaches,
vomiting, flatulence,
220
00:09:39,725 --> 00:09:41,942
tongue-swelling,
suicidal thoughts...
221
00:09:41,944 --> 00:09:44,028
I'm having some
right now.
222
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:47,064
- ITW...
- Inability to walk.
223
00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:48,699
Mm, I hope we get that
'cause that's the only thing
224
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,167
that's gonna keep me here.
225
00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:51,785
And ru...
226
00:09:51,787 --> 00:09:53,170
Relentless urination.
227
00:09:53,172 --> 00:09:55,089
Fatigue, seizures...
228
00:09:55,091 --> 00:09:59,626
Camel toe.
229
00:09:59,628 --> 00:10:03,430
I'm kidding.
That's my joke.
230
00:10:03,432 --> 00:10:04,748
That's his joke.
231
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,800
Good,
'cause I was out the door.
232
00:10:06,802 --> 00:10:10,304
Also, TG,
EB, CCS...
233
00:10:10,306 --> 00:10:11,805
You want me
to explain those to you?
234
00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:14,024
Not until you see one
happening to me.
235
00:10:14,026 --> 00:10:16,193
And A.L.
236
00:10:16,195 --> 00:10:19,730
Anal leakage.
237
00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:24,018
The Grande Dame
of side effects.
238
00:10:26,404 --> 00:10:28,605
Well, bottoms up.
239
00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:33,827
Max, don't say that
after "anal leakage."
240
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,780
See? This is fun!
241
00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:39,800
Getting paid to eat cookies
and play the game of life.
242
00:10:39,802 --> 00:10:41,835
- Your turn.
- What's the point?
243
00:10:41,837 --> 00:10:43,637
Clearly, I've already
lost the game of life
244
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:44,838
'cause I'm sitting
in a drug trial
245
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,341
waiting for
my "A" to "L".
246
00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:49,893
Well, if your "A"
does start to "L,"
247
00:10:49,895 --> 00:10:51,895
you're on the bottom bunk.
248
00:10:51,897 --> 00:10:55,482
I gotta pee.
249
00:10:55,484 --> 00:10:57,618
Ruh-roh.
250
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,902
What?
251
00:10:58,904 --> 00:11:00,187
Mm,
it's probably nothing,
252
00:11:00,189 --> 00:11:02,239
but she might be
experiencing RU.
253
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:03,273
What's that again?
254
00:11:03,275 --> 00:11:04,942
Relentless urination.
255
00:11:04,944 --> 00:11:06,944
She just said
she had to pee.
256
00:11:06,946 --> 00:11:13,150
[Heavy urinating]
257
00:11:17,489 --> 00:11:20,323
Yeah,
that's relentless.
258
00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:24,211
[Toilet flushes]
259
00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:25,212
Are you okay?
260
00:11:25,214 --> 00:11:27,681
Yeah.
261
00:11:27,683 --> 00:11:31,885
"RU" sure?
262
00:11:31,887 --> 00:11:33,437
Okay,
your turn to spin.
263
00:11:33,439 --> 00:11:34,888
No more games.
264
00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:36,890
I really want to be prepared
for this deposition.
265
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:39,610
Can you read me the questions
Mr. hutchinson sent?
266
00:11:39,612 --> 00:11:42,229
Mm-hmm.
267
00:11:42,231 --> 00:11:43,697
"State your full name."
268
00:11:43,699 --> 00:11:45,816
Caroline Wesbox Channing.
269
00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:48,569
Your middle name
is "Wesbox"?
270
00:11:48,571 --> 00:11:50,320
It was
my grandfather's name.
271
00:11:50,322 --> 00:11:53,073
It also might be
a side effect.
272
00:11:53,075 --> 00:11:56,243
"I just slept with a dude
who gave me Wesbox!"
273
00:11:56,245 --> 00:11:58,829
Max, can you just ask me
the next question?
274
00:11:58,831 --> 00:12:01,298
Do you have any knowledge
of investor capital
275
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,200
from the Channing
investment group
276
00:12:03,202 --> 00:12:05,035
being transferred
to offshore banks?
277
00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:06,703
I had
no knowledge of it.
278
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:09,439
- You're boring.
- I'm boring?
279
00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:11,141
I'm just saying,
I'd change the channel.
280
00:12:11,143 --> 00:12:12,643
This is a bad one.
281
00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:14,845
Max,
it's not law & order.
282
00:12:14,847 --> 00:12:17,264
[Scoffs]
I'll say it isn't.
283
00:12:17,266 --> 00:12:19,266
Look, tomorrow,
you gotta give them something.
284
00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:20,901
Open your shirt,
hike up your skirt,
285
00:12:20,903 --> 00:12:23,720
show them your Wesbox.
286
00:12:23,722 --> 00:12:25,272
"Did you know anything
about your father
287
00:12:25,274 --> 00:12:28,242
- "illegally siphoning funds?"
- No.
288
00:12:28,244 --> 00:12:30,060
"Have you ever had
any conversations
289
00:12:30,062 --> 00:12:31,745
with your father regarding
said transactions?"
290
00:12:31,747 --> 00:12:32,946
No.
291
00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:36,333
"Is your ass leaking
right now?"
292
00:12:36,335 --> 00:12:39,536
No.
293
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:45,909
Ruh-roh.
294
00:12:45,911 --> 00:12:49,963
[Brief urinating,
toilet flushes]
295
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,385
Nope.
296
00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:59,690
[Urinating]
297
00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:01,225
How we doing, ladies?
298
00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:04,862
Any side effects?
299
00:13:09,934 --> 00:13:12,319
[Whispering]
Max, are you awake?
300
00:13:12,321 --> 00:13:13,871
Max!
301
00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:17,824
Quiet, you're gonna
wake up pissy spacek.
302
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:20,944
I can't sleep.
My hearts keeps racing.
303
00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:23,413
You should tell Toby.
It's probably a side effect.
304
00:13:23,415 --> 00:13:24,882
No, I'm nervous.
305
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:26,416
I can't stop thinking
about the deposition
306
00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:29,136
and about my father.
Can I come down and talk?
307
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:34,057
Not a great time.
I kind of have people over.
308
00:13:34,059 --> 00:13:36,727
Get in here.
What's wrong?
309
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:38,295
I'm scared
about tomorrow.
310
00:13:38,297 --> 00:13:39,479
I'm scared I'm gonna say
the wrong thing
311
00:13:39,481 --> 00:13:41,348
and make things worse
for my father.
312
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:43,183
Look, all you have to do
is answer the questions
313
00:13:43,185 --> 00:13:46,236
as carefully as they suggested
and then throw in a wink,
314
00:13:46,238 --> 00:13:48,138
forget to wear panties.
He'll be fine.
315
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,690
But that's the thing.
316
00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,808
The questions don't say
anything about my father.
317
00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:53,577
They're so cut and dry.
318
00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:54,695
They're only asking me
details about things
319
00:13:54,697 --> 00:13:56,580
I know nothing about,
320
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:59,032
and they're not interested in
the things I do know about him.
321
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:02,419
That he's warm, and funny,
and generous, and loving.
322
00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:04,004
Like when I was little,
and he and I
323
00:14:04,006 --> 00:14:06,006
would take our plane
to our chalet in deer valley.
324
00:14:06,008 --> 00:14:08,208
Stop. You might as well
rephrase that to
325
00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:09,876
"when he and I
would take our guilty
326
00:14:09,878 --> 00:14:12,012
to our guilty
in guilty valley."
327
00:14:12,014 --> 00:14:14,264
Every morning,
before we went skiing,
328
00:14:14,266 --> 00:14:15,849
he would get up
really early and make me
329
00:14:15,851 --> 00:14:17,801
his snowflake
cinnamon french toast.
330
00:14:17,803 --> 00:14:19,336
Sounds amazing.
331
00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:21,838
And as he dusted
the cinnamon and sugar on top,
332
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,191
he'd say,
"look, sweetheart, it's snowing,
333
00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:26,360
snowing just for you."
334
00:14:26,362 --> 00:14:29,229
And then he'd cut it
into these little pieces...
335
00:14:29,231 --> 00:14:31,348
See? I can't even
get the words out.
336
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,617
No one will ever hear them.
No one will know.
337
00:14:33,619 --> 00:14:36,853
I'll know.
I heard them.
338
00:14:38,239 --> 00:14:39,873
Another round?
339
00:14:39,875 --> 00:14:45,212
Yeah, I'm just gonna
bring my pillow in there.
340
00:14:45,214 --> 00:14:47,864
I don't think Gladiva's
gonna make it to the market.
341
00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:58,236
We'll be doing
the deposition in here.
342
00:14:58,238 --> 00:15:01,156
Oh, wow, this is exactly
how it looks on law & order!
343
00:15:01,158 --> 00:15:02,374
Ooh! Ooh!
344
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:03,908
There's the tiny
typewriter thing
345
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:05,627
where the actress
who never gets to speak sits!
346
00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:10,999
Leo, Leo, take my picture
near the tiny typewriter.
347
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:16,588
Ladies, ladies.
We only have an hour.
348
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,123
We're already behind
because you were late.
349
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,309
Sorry, we had to stop
at the check-cashing place.
350
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:26,431
Yeah, and then a store
to get diapers for a friend.
351
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:28,850
There, $1,000.
352
00:15:28,852 --> 00:15:31,736
No fuss,
and luckily, no muss.
353
00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:33,071
Max, do you have
the $100 from the cupcakes?
354
00:15:33,073 --> 00:15:34,136
Yeah.
355
00:15:34,137 --> 00:15:38,810
Uh, 40... 60...
80... 90...
356
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:43,248
5, 6, 7, and...
357
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:47,202
100.
358
00:15:48,954 --> 00:15:50,839
Mr. Hutchinson,
are you having reflux?
359
00:15:50,841 --> 00:15:56,211
No, I-it just became clear
to me what I do for a living.
360
00:15:56,213 --> 00:15:58,830
Okay, uh, Caroline,
361
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,332
if you're ready,
I can bring them in.
362
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,718
Remember,
just stick to the questions
363
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,303
and don't embellish.
364
00:16:05,305 --> 00:16:08,356
I prepped her
last night, Leo.
365
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:09,724
All right,
let's go, Max.
366
00:16:09,726 --> 00:16:11,609
Actually,
I want her to stay.
367
00:16:11,611 --> 00:16:13,778
I'm nervous,
and she makes me feel better.
368
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:17,515
Yes, I'm her registered
emotional companion.
369
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:19,451
Well, this is
a legal proceeding,
370
00:16:19,453 --> 00:16:21,653
and that's
a highly unusual request.
371
00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:24,205
But not improbable.
We googled it.
372
00:16:24,207 --> 00:16:26,040
Yeah, she's allowed to have
an emotional companion,
373
00:16:26,042 --> 00:16:28,209
as long as
both attorneys agree.
374
00:16:28,211 --> 00:16:31,913
Well, I graduated
top of my class at Harvard,
375
00:16:31,915 --> 00:16:36,885
but since you googled it,
I'll try to make that happen.
376
00:16:36,887 --> 00:16:39,921
No, I am unaware
of any of the transactions
377
00:16:39,923 --> 00:16:41,005
you just mentioned.
378
00:16:41,007 --> 00:16:42,757
Thank you,
miss Channing.
379
00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:45,176
Now, if you'll just bear with me
a little while longer,
380
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,395
I only have a couple more
pertinent questions.
381
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:51,983
Your voice
is unbelievable.
382
00:16:53,552 --> 00:16:57,155
You could be
on law & order.
383
00:16:57,157 --> 00:16:58,890
Max!
384
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,326
[Groans]
385
00:17:01,328 --> 00:17:03,778
Withdrawn.
386
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:06,915
Miss Channing,
do you have any knowledge
387
00:17:06,917 --> 00:17:08,583
of embezzlement
of any kind taking place
388
00:17:08,585 --> 00:17:10,234
at the Channing
investment group?
389
00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:12,954
No,
I had no knowl...
390
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:16,791
Of any su...
[Mumbling]
391
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:17,792
[Nervous laugh]
392
00:17:17,794 --> 00:17:19,294
Could you repeat that?
393
00:17:19,296 --> 00:17:23,765
[Mumbling unintelligibly]
394
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,434
Ruh-roh.
395
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,769
You're having
a side effect!
396
00:17:27,771 --> 00:17:29,437
Tongue swelling.
Ts!
397
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,140
Uh, counselor,
give us one second.
398
00:17:32,142 --> 00:17:33,274
What is going on?
399
00:17:33,276 --> 00:17:36,277
[Mumbling]
We took drugs.
400
00:17:36,279 --> 00:17:38,196
Did she just say
"we took drugs"?
401
00:17:38,198 --> 00:17:40,949
Very good, Leo.
You must play charades.
402
00:17:40,951 --> 00:17:43,451
Look, we did a drug trial
to get money for this.
403
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,203
What's the holdup,
counselor?
404
00:17:45,205 --> 00:17:46,821
Just give her some water.
I had this once.
405
00:17:46,823 --> 00:17:47,989
It goes away in an hour.
406
00:17:47,991 --> 00:17:49,707
[Mumbling]
You said you never had
407
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:51,326
any side effects!
408
00:17:51,328 --> 00:17:53,878
Oh, please.
I died once.
409
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:58,383
I just didn't want
to scare you.
410
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:00,618
Miss Channing,
are you aware of any accounts
411
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,504
opened under any names
other than your father's?
412
00:18:03,506 --> 00:18:06,090
[Mumbling unintelligibly]
413
00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:07,175
Just drink the water.
414
00:18:07,177 --> 00:18:10,428
[Mumbling]
One sec.
415
00:18:11,313 --> 00:18:12,981
[Mumbling]
416
00:18:12,983 --> 00:18:16,133
Uh, does anyone have
a napkin or a bib?
417
00:18:16,135 --> 00:18:19,487
$1,100, you gotta have a bib
around here somewhere.
418
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,273
All right,
what's going on here?
419
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,309
I was just, uh,
informed my client
420
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:28,830
was part of a drug test
within the last 24 hours.
421
00:18:28,832 --> 00:18:33,117
Drug test, Leo?
That's a good one.
422
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,253
Just another
rich girl on drugs.
423
00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:38,423
Get her into rehab,
and we'll have to reschedule.
424
00:18:38,425 --> 00:18:40,425
We'll have to do this
another time.
425
00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:41,542
[Mumbling]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
426
00:18:41,544 --> 00:18:43,611
No, no!
She's right!
427
00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:45,663
We don't have the money
to do this another Tim
428
00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:48,933
look, I can tell you right now,
she does not know anything.
429
00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:50,218
She doesn't know
about the money,
430
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:51,636
she doesn't know
about transactions.
431
00:18:51,638 --> 00:18:53,688
She doesn't know
anything about anything.
432
00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:54,856
We are paid up
for three more minutes,
433
00:18:54,858 --> 00:18:56,691
and we are going to
use them!
434
00:18:56,693 --> 00:19:00,228
She can't talk, but I know
what she would want to say.
435
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:04,482
Ladies and gentlemen
of the... room,
436
00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:07,518
she would want you to know
who her father really is.
437
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,070
He used to make her
snow toast!
438
00:19:09,072 --> 00:19:12,457
And in her words,
he was funny, smart,
439
00:19:12,459 --> 00:19:16,661
and a generous lover.
440
00:19:20,032 --> 00:19:22,166
[Mumbling]
Generous and loving!
441
00:19:22,168 --> 00:19:24,636
Oh, sorry, yes, yes.
Generous and loving.
442
00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:29,173
Now, I don't know her father,
and I have never met him...
443
00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:30,892
And I would like you
to put that on the record,
444
00:19:30,894 --> 00:19:34,211
actress who's never
allowed to talk...
445
00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:37,065
But I do know her,
and she's an amazing person.
446
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,716
And her father
raised her alone,
447
00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:41,886
so he must be
an amazing person too.
448
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:44,221
Well...
449
00:19:44,223 --> 00:19:47,058
That accomplished nothing.
450
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:50,278
Counselor,
what do we do here?
451
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:54,666
We take a short recess
until she can speak,
452
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:57,368
and resume
the deposition, on me,
453
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:02,073
because her father
is an amazing guy, and...
454
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:06,344
That's what they would do
on law & order.
455
00:20:06,346 --> 00:20:08,262
Fine,
we'll break for an hour.
456
00:20:08,264 --> 00:20:13,518
Seriously, you sound like
a superhero's boss.
457
00:20:16,722 --> 00:20:18,106
[Mumbling]
Max, you're the best.
458
00:20:18,108 --> 00:20:20,775
I know.
I did pretty good, right?
459
00:20:20,777 --> 00:20:23,011
I should've gone
to law school.
460
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:26,197
Or High School.
461
00:20:32,154 --> 00:20:34,989
Permission to enter
the judge's chambers?
462
00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:37,709
Permission granted.
Excuse the tubs of bleu cheese.
463
00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,210
They're being held
as evidence
464
00:20:39,212 --> 00:20:40,945
in the case
against eating here.
465
00:20:40,947 --> 00:20:44,215
I wanted to thank you
for everything you did.
466
00:20:44,217 --> 00:20:46,134
And I know you were gonna
buy yourself a treat
467
00:20:46,136 --> 00:20:47,135
with the drug money...
468
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:48,803
Yeah, like drugs.
469
00:20:48,805 --> 00:20:51,389
So I got you
a little something.
470
00:20:51,391 --> 00:20:53,725
It's the complete
law & order box set!
471
00:20:53,727 --> 00:20:55,593
No way!
472
00:20:55,595 --> 00:20:58,763
That's not a little something.
That's, like, $500.
473
00:20:58,765 --> 00:21:00,848
Or $30 on the subway.
474
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:03,134
And the guy said
most of them are in english.
475
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,236
Awesome!
476
00:21:05,238 --> 00:21:09,090
Freezer adjourned.
477
00:21:09,091 --> 00:21:12,341
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/