1
00:00:01,577 --> 00:00:03,545
Miss, I'm done here.
2
00:00:03,547 --> 00:00:04,813
Oh, I've been done here
for years.
3
00:00:04,815 --> 00:00:06,982
You don't see me
getting a parade.
4
00:00:06,984 --> 00:00:09,718
(generator hums)
5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,953
OLEG: Oh, looks like
we lost electricity.
6
00:00:11,955 --> 00:00:16,758
Uh-oh, all the food in the
refrigerator will go worse.
7
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,660
EARL: Is it a bad sign that
8
00:00:18,662 --> 00:00:22,097
I can actually
see everything better?
9
00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:25,867
Well, we finally found lighting
that made the food look edible.
10
00:00:25,869 --> 00:00:27,669
Yeah, it's almost dark enough
for Caroline
11
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,105
to agree to have sex in here.
12
00:00:30,107 --> 00:00:34,076
Max, have you ever seen balls
in light?
13
00:00:35,278 --> 00:00:37,779
They're not pretty.
14
00:00:37,781 --> 00:00:40,549
HAN: Nobody panic!
15
00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:42,350
The power is out
in the whole building.
16
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:47,222
We've got less energy
than a Steely Dan concert.
17
00:00:47,224 --> 00:00:49,057
Han, you look exactly like
18
00:00:49,059 --> 00:00:52,294
a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock"
right now.
19
00:00:52,296 --> 00:00:54,429
All right, we've got
to keep the diner safe
20
00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,398
from hooligans and looters.
21
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,300
You're still on the clock!
22
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:01,603
And you're on my foot.
23
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:04,973
Sorry, Earl, I can't see you
in the dark....
24
00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:09,811
But not in a racist way.
25
00:01:09,813 --> 00:01:12,481
And I can't see you
in the light
26
00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:14,549
in a short way.
27
00:01:14,551 --> 00:01:17,052
Han, who would loot this diner?
28
00:01:17,054 --> 00:01:20,856
Unless they're looters looking
specifically for disappointment.
29
00:01:25,394 --> 00:01:26,728
Max?
30
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,930
Just taking this vodka
31
00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:31,133
and cash register
to a safe place.
32
00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:34,803
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
33
00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:36,538
(cash register bell dings)
34
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:41,910
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
35
00:01:46,382 --> 00:01:48,817
Our new dessert bar
is under construction
36
00:01:48,819 --> 00:01:50,018
and it's not quite there yet.
37
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,453
Kind of like
the credit card bill
38
00:01:51,455 --> 00:01:53,321
I lied about mailing,
39
00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:57,159
but I've chosen you two to be
the first to get a preview.
40
00:01:57,161 --> 00:01:59,694
She invited other people.
They said, "No."
41
00:01:59,696 --> 00:02:02,964
She told me there would be
some hard candy.
42
00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:06,168
Better be some hard candy.
43
00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:08,470
I have peppermints inside.
44
00:02:08,472 --> 00:02:10,972
Then we're fine.
45
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:17,145
So it doesn't
look like much now,
46
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:19,948
but with a little moxie
and a lot of work,
47
00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:21,550
it's gonna be gorgeous.
48
00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:23,885
Like Khloé Kardashian.
49
00:02:23,887 --> 00:02:27,222
Is that the one
that's a dude now?
50
00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:33,428
Okay, where's my treat?
51
00:02:34,497 --> 00:02:35,697
Impressive,
52
00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:37,632
and you've stolen almost nothing
53
00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:39,768
from the diner to do this.
54
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:44,839
Oh, wait, I see my sport coat is
being used as a paint rag.
55
00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:47,242
That coat's yours?
56
00:02:47,244 --> 00:02:50,679
I thought it belonged
to a service Chihuahua.
57
00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:55,083
Hey, everybody.
58
00:02:57,019 --> 00:02:59,988
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:02,457
Hubba, hubba, hot stuff.
60
00:03:02,459 --> 00:03:04,192
You know,
if I were still single,
61
00:03:04,194 --> 00:03:07,362
I'd let you spackle my hole.
62
00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:10,599
You heard what she said,
beefcake.
63
00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:11,967
I'm not gay.
64
00:03:11,969 --> 00:03:14,869
I'm just very pro-harassment.
65
00:03:14,871 --> 00:03:16,705
I'm proud of you, girls.
66
00:03:16,707 --> 00:03:18,707
You're making
your dreams come true,
67
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:21,676
and my dreams, too,
assuming you'll allow me
68
00:03:21,678 --> 00:03:22,877
to start a tab here.
69
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:25,547
I'll never pay.
70
00:03:25,549 --> 00:03:28,116
Does this mean you're not
paying your tab at the diner?
71
00:03:28,118 --> 00:03:30,919
Uh-huh.
72
00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:32,120
Earl?
73
00:03:32,122 --> 00:03:34,356
He walks fast when he wants to.
74
00:03:35,825 --> 00:03:37,259
I gotta get going too.
75
00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:39,027
You know, we just came
from the baby doctor,
76
00:03:39,029 --> 00:03:40,762
and he put me on bed rest.
77
00:03:40,764 --> 00:03:44,833
At first I thought
the doctor said, "Bed arrest,'
78
00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:47,602
which is one
of my favorite games.
79
00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:50,038
Sophie, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
80
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,307
Well, I'm five months along,
81
00:03:52,309 --> 00:03:54,409
and the baby
already weighs 15 pounds,
82
00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:57,412
so the doctor's just
a little worried.
83
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:59,447
He's afraid it'll fall out
84
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:02,751
like a watermelon
through a plastic grocery bag.
85
00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:05,787
Come on, baby,
let's get you in bed
86
00:04:05,789 --> 00:04:07,188
and get your legs up.
87
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:09,024
I can't believe none of this
has to do with sex.
88
00:04:09,026 --> 00:04:10,425
Yeah.
89
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:13,061
Knock, knock.
It's Randy.
90
00:04:13,063 --> 00:04:14,529
I got a six-pack...
91
00:04:15,898 --> 00:04:18,366
And I brought some beers.
92
00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:21,102
Who wants some warm,
wet, deli beer?
93
00:04:21,104 --> 00:04:23,505
This is why you're
the best boyfriend ever.
94
00:04:23,507 --> 00:04:25,674
Warm, wet deli beer
is the official drink
95
00:04:25,676 --> 00:04:28,209
of my personality.
96
00:04:28,211 --> 00:04:29,978
So, Randy, look.
97
00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,314
What do you think
of the new bar space?
98
00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:34,215
I've got a bar-related question.
99
00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:36,151
How you gonna fit in the bar?
100
00:04:36,153 --> 00:04:38,653
It's all right here
on the blueprints, see?
101
00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:40,789
The bar goes here,
so that leaves ten feet
102
00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:43,058
for the cafe tables
and the front door entrance.
103
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,560
Uh, you see this
number ten right here?
104
00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:50,198
You see the two dashes after it?
Those are inches, not feet.
105
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,469
You got 10 inches.
106
00:04:54,471 --> 00:04:58,306
First time I've ever been
disappointed with 10 inches.
107
00:05:00,242 --> 00:05:02,677
Well, that's the last time
I get an architect
108
00:05:02,679 --> 00:05:06,348
from the "casual encounters"
section of Craigslist.
109
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:07,982
(knocking on wall)
Ugh.
110
00:05:07,984 --> 00:05:10,985
The lady from the pizza place
next door is banging back again.
111
00:05:10,987 --> 00:05:13,855
Yeah, they should pay less
attention to our business
112
00:05:13,857 --> 00:05:15,457
and more attention to their own.
113
00:05:15,459 --> 00:05:17,292
There's so much oil
on their pizza,
114
00:05:17,294 --> 00:05:19,194
the U.S. might invade it.
115
00:05:19,196 --> 00:05:20,395
RANDY:
You know what?
116
00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:21,796
I think we've just
117
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:23,098
blown past "warm beers."
118
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,599
I'm gonna go get us
some whiskey.
119
00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:27,369
10 inches always looks
a whole lot bigger with bourbon.
120
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,806
Oh, my God, Max,
we need more space.
121
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:35,043
I know; we spend
way too much time together.
122
00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,411
Hey!
123
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:40,548
Enough with the noise,
cupcake bitches.
124
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:44,586
You gotta stop with this
freakin' racket already.
125
00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:47,455
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, Gina.
126
00:05:47,457 --> 00:05:49,791
What, 'cause I'm Italian,
127
00:05:49,793 --> 00:05:52,227
my name's gotta be Gina?
128
00:05:52,229 --> 00:05:55,997
It's Angie.
Gina's my middle name.
129
00:05:55,999 --> 00:05:59,634
Oh, I thought your middle name
was "bangs a lot."
130
00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:02,837
Angie, we're expanding our shop,
131
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,806
and we have a permit
for the construction,
132
00:06:04,808 --> 00:06:06,341
so it's above board.
133
00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,743
Which, yes,
even I'm surprised about.
134
00:06:08,745 --> 00:06:11,413
You got a permit
to destroy my business?
135
00:06:11,415 --> 00:06:14,582
Nobody wants to eat pizza
136
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:18,086
next to this
constant freaking racket.
137
00:06:18,088 --> 00:06:21,589
What's your freaking point?
138
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:23,792
Max, I didn't know
you spoke Italian.
139
00:06:25,227 --> 00:06:26,528
Follow me.
140
00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:28,997
I want yous to see
the hell you're making.
141
00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:30,899
Um, that's a firm pass.
142
00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:32,801
-I'll throw in a free slice.
-Okay.
143
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:41,976
(video game beeping)
144
00:06:41,978 --> 00:06:43,311
See?
145
00:06:43,313 --> 00:06:44,612
See what you're doing
to our office
146
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:46,514
from all that banging next door?
147
00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:48,316
You're destroying it.
148
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:50,318
Uh, look, you can't
destroy a room
149
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,788
that has this strong
of a "hostage basement" vibe.
150
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,958
You got cracks,
and falling plaster,
151
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,460
and my brother and I are fed up.
152
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:00,195
Right, Angelo?
153
00:07:00,197 --> 00:07:02,096
He says, "Right."
154
00:07:02,098 --> 00:07:03,965
He's my twin.
155
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:06,401
We agree with our minds.
156
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:09,637
Um, Angie, when do we get
that free slice?
157
00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:11,706
Not to be pushy,
but a deal is a deal,
158
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,975
and today's a carb day for me.
159
00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:16,845
(hammer banging on wall)
160
00:07:16,847 --> 00:07:18,480
What the frig?
161
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:22,083
I just got my hair cut
for our high school reunion.
162
00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:23,518
Now it's ruined.
163
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,320
(hammer banging on wall)
164
00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:28,590
It's a frickin' war zone
in here!
165
00:07:28,592 --> 00:07:31,092
My father would be turning
in his grave
166
00:07:31,094 --> 00:07:34,529
if we'd been able to give him
a proper burial.
167
00:07:34,531 --> 00:07:36,130
How you gonna make this right?
168
00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:38,466
Look, Angie and Angelo,
169
00:07:38,468 --> 00:07:40,502
we're sorry about
the inconvenience,
170
00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:42,437
but it'll just be another week
of construction.
171
00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:44,772
We promise to keep the noise
down to a minimum.
172
00:07:44,774 --> 00:07:46,508
Right, Max?
173
00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:48,710
She's agreeing with her mind.
174
00:07:48,712 --> 00:07:51,980
Hey, just came by
to see if everything's okay,
175
00:07:51,982 --> 00:07:54,549
and to say I've never seen
the statue of David
176
00:07:54,551 --> 00:07:57,252
with a slice of pizza
over his junk.
177
00:07:57,254 --> 00:08:00,455
Who's this hunk of gabbagoul?
178
00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:02,824
This hunk is Randy,
and he's my--
179
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:06,528
Lawyer, and I'm sure he's here
to make sure there's no problem.
180
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:07,996
There's not problem,
right, Angie?
181
00:08:07,998 --> 00:08:11,766
The only problem I see now
is that shirt on him.
182
00:08:14,837 --> 00:08:16,905
Hi, I'm Angie,
183
00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:21,309
but I'm thinking about
changing my name to yours.
184
00:08:21,311 --> 00:08:24,212
Props,
that's a good line.
185
00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:27,315
So, Angie, what do you think?
186
00:08:27,317 --> 00:08:29,284
Can you stand another week
of the construction?
187
00:08:29,286 --> 00:08:32,287
(clicks tongue)
All right.
188
00:08:32,289 --> 00:08:34,055
I'll give yous two another week,
189
00:08:34,057 --> 00:08:35,823
'cause of Randy here,
190
00:08:35,825 --> 00:08:38,393
but that's the last thing
I ever do for you two.
191
00:08:38,395 --> 00:08:42,163
You, I'd do whatever you want..
192
00:08:42,165 --> 00:08:46,167
tonight and in perpetuity.
193
00:08:46,169 --> 00:08:47,702
"Perpetuity"?
194
00:08:47,704 --> 00:08:51,606
Better not be Italian
for "the butt."
195
00:08:58,781 --> 00:09:00,181
Guys,
196
00:09:00,183 --> 00:09:03,651
I have a genius idea
to fix the dessert bar problem.
197
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:06,721
What if somehow
we could convince Angie
198
00:09:06,723 --> 00:09:10,091
to let us break through the wall
and rent out their back office?
199
00:09:12,328 --> 00:09:13,695
Come on!
200
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:16,664
This is a genius idea.
201
00:09:16,666 --> 00:09:19,500
Their business is struggling,
202
00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:22,003
and we could pay them rent.
203
00:09:22,005 --> 00:09:23,671
It's either that
or we have to use
204
00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:26,140
dollhouse furniture
for the dessert bar.
205
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:27,342
You know what?
She's right.
206
00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:28,943
It is a good idea.
207
00:09:28,945 --> 00:09:31,613
You just gotta figure out a way
to get on Angie's good side.
208
00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:34,782
Maybe you bring her
a bouquet of cigarettes.
209
00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:38,086
Okay, Caroline, the only thing
Angie likes about us is him,
210
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:40,922
and honestly, the only thing
I like about us is him.
211
00:09:40,924 --> 00:09:43,191
That's perfect;
we should bring Randy over there
212
00:09:43,193 --> 00:09:44,559
when we go ask her.
213
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:47,161
Randy, this has got to work,
214
00:09:47,163 --> 00:09:48,529
so wear a tight shirt,
215
00:09:48,531 --> 00:09:50,832
and maybe put a little Parmesan
behind your ears.
216
00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:55,970
(video game beeping)
(construction banging)
217
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:58,072
Uh.
218
00:09:58,074 --> 00:10:01,576
So, Angelo, any idea when
your sister is getting back?
219
00:10:01,578 --> 00:10:04,379
(video game music)
220
00:10:04,381 --> 00:10:07,982
Well, it is a long commute
from hell.
221
00:10:07,984 --> 00:10:10,518
Oh...
222
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,919
Hi, Randy.
223
00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:15,556
I would make out with you,
but I just got a manicure,
224
00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:18,593
and I like to use my nails.
225
00:10:19,428 --> 00:10:21,996
Next time.
226
00:10:21,998 --> 00:10:24,599
So we came here
with a business proposition,
227
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:26,734
and some delicious cupcakes.
228
00:10:26,736 --> 00:10:28,202
I'll need the plate back.
229
00:10:28,204 --> 00:10:30,505
Get those away from me!
230
00:10:30,507 --> 00:10:33,074
I'm going to my reunion
in a dress so tight
231
00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:35,209
you could see
the kidney Angelo gave me
232
00:10:35,211 --> 00:10:39,480
from when I had renal failure
from drinking too much Tab.
233
00:10:40,783 --> 00:10:43,985
First of all, Angie,
Max and I are so glad
234
00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:47,021
to hear that you pulled through
from the renal failure,
235
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,991
but the real reason
we're here is--
236
00:10:49,993 --> 00:10:52,560
did you see Randy?
237
00:10:52,562 --> 00:10:53,761
Look, let's move this along.
238
00:10:53,763 --> 00:10:54,996
We want to bust
through this wall
239
00:10:54,998 --> 00:10:56,631
and rent your little
pizza hut here.
240
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:57,832
Well, I'm in charge,
241
00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:59,400
and I'm not renting to yous two.
242
00:10:59,402 --> 00:11:00,935
I don't have time for this.
243
00:11:00,937 --> 00:11:03,371
I still don't have a date
for my reunion tomorrow,
244
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:05,073
and this stress
is bad for my face.
245
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:08,609
I already have more filler
than a two-hour "Dateline."
246
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,614
Angie, how does a woman like you
247
00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:15,817
not have a date
for your reunion?
248
00:11:15,819 --> 00:11:17,819
I mean, not to be too forward,
249
00:11:17,821 --> 00:11:20,254
but hot magenta
really brings out your eyes.
250
00:11:20,256 --> 00:11:23,357
Well, you're not wrong.
251
00:11:23,359 --> 00:11:26,060
You know what would be wrong?
252
00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:28,529
If Randy didn't take you
253
00:11:28,531 --> 00:11:31,265
to your reunion tomorrow night.
254
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:34,502
Do you want to be punched
in the face with my ring hand?
255
00:11:34,504 --> 00:11:36,137
RANDY: You know what?
256
00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:37,972
That...
257
00:11:37,974 --> 00:11:40,475
is a great idea.
258
00:11:40,477 --> 00:11:44,078
Angie, I would be honored
to take your to your reunion.
259
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,413
Oh, my God!
260
00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:48,049
Really?
261
00:11:48,051 --> 00:11:50,885
What about Angelo?
What's he supposed to do?
262
00:11:50,887 --> 00:11:55,656
Angelo, do you want to bring one
of these two to the reunion?
263
00:11:55,658 --> 00:11:58,526
They're not my type.
264
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:00,928
Two fives make a ten, right?
265
00:12:06,235 --> 00:12:08,102
Oleg!
(bell dings)
266
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,271
I know we don't really
have standards here,
267
00:12:10,273 --> 00:12:14,642
but the customer said that
her steak shouldn't do this.
268
00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:21,315
Well, tell her not to turn
the plate upside down then.
269
00:12:21,317 --> 00:12:23,050
I'm FaceTiming with Sophie.
270
00:12:23,052 --> 00:12:24,252
She's lonely.
271
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:27,155
Say "hi" to Caroline.
272
00:12:27,157 --> 00:12:29,991
I'm not that lonely.
273
00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:33,361
Ugh, I just scrubbed a table.
274
00:12:33,363 --> 00:12:34,862
That is how upset I am.
275
00:12:34,864 --> 00:12:37,565
I should have never let Randy
go to that reunion.
276
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,467
And I should have never
277
00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:42,804
let Buddy Holly
get on that plane,
278
00:12:42,806 --> 00:12:44,138
but what're you gonna do?
279
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:47,542
Other than play it
over and over again
280
00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:50,211
in your mind for 60 years.
281
00:12:50,213 --> 00:12:52,113
Max, it'll all be worth it
282
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:54,148
when we get that extra space
for our dessert bar.
283
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:56,784
Why would God make Randy
look like that
284
00:12:56,786 --> 00:12:59,253
if not to help us get stuff?
285
00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:00,855
I'm worried about Randy.
286
00:13:00,857 --> 00:13:02,690
He is strong,
but she has the strength
287
00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:04,659
of ten horny women.
288
00:13:04,661 --> 00:13:07,128
Somebody talk to me.
289
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,230
I'm dying here.
290
00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:12,633
I just watched all eight seasons
of "Perfect Strangers."
291
00:13:12,635 --> 00:13:15,970
I'm--I'm just--I'm--
I'm Balki'd out.
292
00:13:17,039 --> 00:13:19,941
I just felt a shift
in the force.
293
00:13:19,943 --> 00:13:22,677
Did somebody clean a table
over there?
294
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:23,945
Is everything okay?
295
00:13:23,947 --> 00:13:25,947
She's upset because Angie
296
00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:28,049
from the pizza parlor next door
needed a date
297
00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:30,484
to her high school reunion,
and Randy took her.
298
00:13:30,486 --> 00:13:32,553
Well, that's hurtful.
299
00:13:32,555 --> 00:13:34,622
I've asked Angie out twice.
300
00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:37,625
They're not
on a real date, Han.
301
00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:39,493
He's just trying to convince her
302
00:13:39,495 --> 00:13:40,928
to let us rent
their back office.
303
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,997
Randy's wasting his time.
304
00:13:42,999 --> 00:13:45,633
It's actually Angie's
delightful brother Angelo
305
00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:47,134
who controls the lease.
306
00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:49,537
Angelo's in charge?
307
00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:52,240
Angelo's "delightful"?
308
00:13:52,242 --> 00:13:55,409
Ugh, I am so bored
309
00:13:55,411 --> 00:13:59,680
that I just got a degree
from DeVry University.
310
00:14:00,816 --> 00:14:04,085
So she tricked Randy
311
00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:05,753
into going to that reunion
with her?
312
00:14:05,755 --> 00:14:07,822
(scoffs)
I am going to the high school
313
00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:09,557
to get my man back--
oh, my God,
314
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,559
I sound just like my mother.
315
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,895
We should go there
and sweet-talk Angelo
316
00:14:13,897 --> 00:14:15,429
into giving us the space.
317
00:14:15,431 --> 00:14:17,865
Oh, but we're "not his type,"
318
00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,834
which is a shame,
because I really wanted some of
319
00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:22,937
that 50-year-old
video-game-addict money.
320
00:14:22,939 --> 00:14:25,339
Well, where are we gonna
get tacky dresses
321
00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:27,174
and hair from 1986?
322
00:14:27,176 --> 00:14:28,309
(gasps)
323
00:14:28,311 --> 00:14:30,878
I can make you
look like it's 1986
324
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,982
'cause I lived in Poland
in 2003!
325
00:14:38,387 --> 00:14:41,389
(upbeat '80s music)
326
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:47,528
♪
327
00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:49,664
How you doin'?
328
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:53,534
How you doin'?
329
00:14:53,536 --> 00:14:55,937
How you doin'?
330
00:14:55,939 --> 00:14:58,306
MAX:
Oh, Jimmy Vecchio!
331
00:14:58,308 --> 00:15:01,542
It's Max...Blackilini.
332
00:15:01,544 --> 00:15:03,678
Doesn't ring a bell.
333
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:04,879
What about me?
334
00:15:04,881 --> 00:15:06,280
It's Caroline...
335
00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:09,050
uh, Cacciatore!
336
00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:12,954
Didn't we take math together
with Mr. Bag-a-two-shoes?
337
00:15:12,956 --> 00:15:14,689
Never heard of him.
338
00:15:14,691 --> 00:15:17,458
BOTH: Eh!
-Forget about it.
339
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,494
Oh, there's Angelo
340
00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:21,862
dancing by himself.
341
00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:23,998
No surprise there.
342
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,234
Wow, I've never seen
a sweat-suit tux.
343
00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:29,637
Angelo.
344
00:15:29,639 --> 00:15:31,505
It's Max and Caroline
345
00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:32,840
from next door.
346
00:15:32,842 --> 00:15:34,442
Um, you probably don't
recognize us.
347
00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:36,544
I'm hoping no one does.
348
00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:38,412
What?
I can't hear you
349
00:15:38,414 --> 00:15:40,448
with the babe alarm going off.
350
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:43,584
Whee-ooh, whee-ooh.
351
00:15:43,586 --> 00:15:47,421
Oh, well, same to you.
352
00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:49,824
What is that, terry cloth?
353
00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:52,193
Actually,
we came here to talk to you
354
00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:53,494
because we wanted to ask you
355
00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:55,162
about renting out
your back office.
356
00:15:55,164 --> 00:15:56,964
We know you're the big cheese.
357
00:15:56,966 --> 00:15:59,000
You know, since you're here,
358
00:15:59,002 --> 00:16:00,601
maybe we, uh, cut a rug?
359
00:16:00,603 --> 00:16:05,039
She hasn't cut her rug
in about four months, so...
360
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,144
We could, uh, start off
on the dance floor,
361
00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:12,179
and if we happen to end up
362
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:15,383
in the back of
an '86 Cutlass Supreme,
363
00:16:15,385 --> 00:16:17,852
so be it.
364
00:16:17,854 --> 00:16:20,855
So be it.
Forget about it.
365
00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:22,123
Excuse us.
366
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:24,692
Max, I am not a whore.
367
00:16:24,694 --> 00:16:28,262
That's not what your hair,
dress, and makeup say.
368
00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:31,465
Look, you pimped Randy out
for that extra space,
369
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,767
and now it's your turn.
370
00:16:32,769 --> 00:16:34,902
You want that back room,
make it happen.
371
00:16:34,904 --> 00:16:37,638
On the count of three,
372
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,840
say "sex."
373
00:16:40,842 --> 00:16:42,743
You handle Angelo.
374
00:16:42,745 --> 00:16:44,278
I've been wanting
to kill someone
375
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,014
for using a selfie stick,
and she is the lucky one.
376
00:16:47,016 --> 00:16:50,117
Angie, God rest your soul,
377
00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:52,820
get your hands off my boyfriend.
378
00:16:52,822 --> 00:16:54,955
(laughing)
Max, what're you doing here?
379
00:16:54,957 --> 00:16:57,291
Please tell me that's a wig.
380
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:59,360
She tricked you
into coming here.
381
00:16:59,362 --> 00:17:01,762
She is not in charge
of the pizza place.
382
00:17:01,764 --> 00:17:05,533
Her brother is.
This is my hair.
383
00:17:05,535 --> 00:17:07,268
Angie, is that true?
384
00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:09,670
Did I do the Electric Slide
for nothing?
385
00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:11,038
Well, not for nothing.
386
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,475
We came in second
in the dance competition.
387
00:17:14,477 --> 00:17:16,677
Okay, fine, it's true.
388
00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:18,879
Angelo's in charge.
389
00:17:18,881 --> 00:17:20,848
My father thought
he was the smarter one
390
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:23,451
because he wore glasses
as a kid.
391
00:17:23,453 --> 00:17:26,187
Randy, are you okay?
392
00:17:26,189 --> 00:17:29,857
Did the bad lady touch you
in any of the good places?
393
00:17:29,859 --> 00:17:32,259
Look, I'm sorry I lied,
394
00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:34,628
but for what it's worth,
I'm having the night of my life.
395
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:38,065
Believe it or not,
I wasn't popular in high school.
396
00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:39,900
I didn't date a football player
397
00:17:39,902 --> 00:17:42,603
or get pregnant.
398
00:17:42,605 --> 00:17:45,139
For once, I just wanted
to show up a winner.
399
00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:47,942
-Hey, Ange!
-Oh, no.
400
00:17:47,944 --> 00:17:49,243
Here comes Michelle Pascucci.
401
00:17:49,245 --> 00:17:51,612
Please, don't ruin this for me.
402
00:17:52,881 --> 00:17:54,281
Who's this, Ange?
403
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,517
What's she doing holding
on to your fiancé
404
00:17:56,519 --> 00:17:59,987
like he's the last cannoli
at a wake?
405
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,525
Forgot to tell you,
I got engaged.
406
00:18:04,527 --> 00:18:05,893
Wait.
407
00:18:05,895 --> 00:18:08,729
Unless that's not really
your boyfriend.
408
00:18:08,731 --> 00:18:12,466
'Cause, uh, you're known to lie.
409
00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:14,668
Well...
410
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,670
she's not lying.
411
00:18:16,672 --> 00:18:20,040
He's been cheating on me
with her for years.
412
00:18:20,042 --> 00:18:23,577
I, uh, caught 'em
at the Olive Garden.
413
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,015
I smell a catfight,
414
00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:30,818
and Drakkar Noir.
415
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:32,987
Catfight!
416
00:18:32,989 --> 00:18:36,157
-Oh, come here, bitch.
CROWD: Oh!
417
00:18:36,159 --> 00:18:38,826
-Just follow my lead.
-Okay, careful.
418
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:40,661
I spent $65 on my hair.
419
00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:43,531
I was hoping not to touch it
till next week.
420
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:47,334
-Don't touch my arm, bitch!
CROWD: Oh!
421
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:50,137
Oh, I shouldn't touch your arm?
422
00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:53,541
Maybe you shouldn't
touch my guy.
423
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,309
CROWD: [gasps]
424
00:18:55,311 --> 00:18:58,279
Finally,
this party's getting good.
425
00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:00,681
(quietly)
Push me back.
426
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:02,249
CROWD: Oh!
427
00:19:02,251 --> 00:19:04,218
Did you just push me?
428
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:07,154
Yeah, I pushed you,
429
00:19:07,156 --> 00:19:10,391
but not as hard as
your boyfriend
430
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:13,594
was pushing me
in the back of the car.
431
00:19:13,596 --> 00:19:16,697
Oh, hell no, bitch!
432
00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:18,866
-Now--
CROWD: OH!
433
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:22,836
I told you not to touch my hair!
434
00:19:22,838 --> 00:19:25,072
CROWD: Oh!
-Oh, my God!
435
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,875
She's got a freakin' knife!
436
00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:29,944
All right, I'm out,
437
00:19:29,946 --> 00:19:32,112
but only because...
438
00:19:32,114 --> 00:19:34,014
I'm on parole
439
00:19:34,016 --> 00:19:37,885
for pulling out a woman's bangs
on the F Train.
440
00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:40,020
Let's get out of here, Ange.
441
00:19:40,022 --> 00:19:41,655
Is my hair dented?
442
00:19:41,657 --> 00:19:45,326
I'll fix it, hun.
I got a chopstick in my purse.
443
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,864
Get over here,
you sloppy second.
444
00:19:50,866 --> 00:19:52,132
Wow.
445
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:54,902
I kind of like having
a knight in shining--
446
00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:57,438
what is this, aluminum foil?
447
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,107
Well, it is warming up
the ravioli I put in my bra.
448
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:01,809
(George Michael's
"Careless Whisper")
449
00:20:01,811 --> 00:20:03,911
Max, can I have this dance?
450
00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:08,983
♪
451
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:11,685
So you think you and I
would have dated in high school?
452
00:20:11,687 --> 00:20:14,822
Well, when I was in high school,
you were in your 30s,
453
00:20:14,824 --> 00:20:16,023
so...
454
00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:17,958
yeah, that sounds right.
455
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,662
I just convinced Angelo
to let us rent the back office.
456
00:20:21,664 --> 00:20:24,198
I mean, I may have
to be his date to the Auto Show.
457
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,166
Wear something nice.
458
00:20:26,168 --> 00:20:28,168
Like a silk blouse
459
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,070
or a bikini.
460
00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:31,272
♪
461
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:33,907
He wants to show me off.
462
00:20:33,909 --> 00:20:37,611
I never went
to anything like this.
463
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,113
A reunion or a prom
464
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:41,048
or a class.
465
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,483
What do you do at these things?
466
00:20:42,485 --> 00:20:45,119
MICHAEL:
♪ I'm never gonna dance again
467
00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:48,522
♪ Guilty feet have got
no rhythm ♪
468
00:20:48,524 --> 00:20:50,958
♪ Though it's easy to pretend
469
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,560
♪ I know you're not a fool
(cash register dings)