1
00:00:00,576 --> 00:00:02,711
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:02,713 --> 00:00:05,480
Max, what's a five-letter word
for "happy"?
3
00:00:05,482 --> 00:00:09,384
And it's not my first wife,
Helen.
4
00:00:09,386 --> 00:00:12,654
I was gonna suggest "drunk."
5
00:00:12,656 --> 00:00:14,723
Maybe 'cause I am.
6
00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:16,725
Hey, everybody!
7
00:00:20,363 --> 00:00:21,596
Hey.
8
00:00:21,598 --> 00:00:24,232
Guess what I have
under my coat.
9
00:00:24,234 --> 00:00:27,769
And it's not ice cream sundaes
like last time.
10
00:00:29,205 --> 00:00:31,740
It's my baby bump!
11
00:00:33,176 --> 00:00:35,677
Aw, Sophie, you're showing!
12
00:00:35,679 --> 00:00:38,613
And this time, it's not
either of your nipples.
13
00:00:38,615 --> 00:00:41,450
Ah, look!
Only four months.
14
00:00:41,452 --> 00:00:45,220
And I'm already
approaching Kardashian.
15
00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:47,656
And that's quoting the doctor.
16
00:00:47,658 --> 00:00:48,857
Impressive.
17
00:00:48,859 --> 00:00:52,828
You may have a North, South,
East, and West in there.
18
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,664
The baby really kicks.
19
00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:57,532
So it's either gonna be
a soccer player
20
00:00:57,534 --> 00:01:00,735
or a Los Angeles policeman.
21
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:04,372
Hey, Han, what do you think
22
00:01:04,374 --> 00:01:07,242
of my baby bump, baby bump,
baby bump?
23
00:01:07,244 --> 00:01:10,679
In my country,
we never comment on two things:
24
00:01:10,681 --> 00:01:13,882
women's pregnancies
or Kim Jong-un's haircut.
25
00:01:15,885 --> 00:01:18,120
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
26
00:01:18,122 --> 00:01:19,621
(cash register bell dings)
27
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:24,826
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
28
00:01:28,364 --> 00:01:30,232
(upbeat music)
29
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,634
(bell dings)
30
00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:34,836
One tuna malt.
31
00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:39,107
That was a tuna melt.
32
00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:43,411
Oh.
33
00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,314
Max, here comes Han.
34
00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:48,483
Now remember,
we have to be extra nice
35
00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:50,986
so we can get his support
for our new dessert bar.
36
00:01:50,988 --> 00:01:52,254
How can he support us?
37
00:01:52,256 --> 00:01:55,123
He can barely support
his giant head.
38
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,391
See, that's
the kind of stuff
39
00:01:56,393 --> 00:01:58,226
you're gonna have to
stay away from.
40
00:02:01,964 --> 00:02:03,465
What's this about?
41
00:02:03,467 --> 00:02:08,270
Last time you were smiling,
I almost lost an ear.
42
00:02:08,272 --> 00:02:11,273
Well, my Hollywood money
has finally arrived,
43
00:02:11,275 --> 00:02:13,208
and as you know, Han,
Max and I want to
44
00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:16,178
convert the cupcake window
into a dessert bar.
45
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:21,216
And as you know, I want to
convert you two into waitresses.
46
00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:23,785
Come on, Han, it won't affect
the diner at all.
47
00:02:23,787 --> 00:02:25,620
All we want to do
is use the dish room--
48
00:02:25,622 --> 00:02:29,824
home of two of the three
original strands of E. coli.
49
00:02:29,826 --> 00:02:31,226
It's a no.
50
00:02:31,228 --> 00:02:33,061
My therapist said
this had to be the year
51
00:02:33,063 --> 00:02:37,065
of standing up for myself
and cutting out soda.
52
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:39,935
All right, well go ahead,
stand up.
53
00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:45,407
But because I would like to see
you make someone else miserable,
54
00:02:45,409 --> 00:02:47,842
I know a real estate agent
that could help you two
55
00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:49,077
find a new space.
56
00:02:49,079 --> 00:02:53,315
Did you say
"real estate Asian"?
57
00:02:53,317 --> 00:02:56,418
Her name is Evie,
and I know her from my church.
58
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:59,187
And let's just say
she's been angling
59
00:02:59,189 --> 00:03:01,890
for what I've got dangling.
60
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,929
Your keys?
61
00:03:07,931 --> 00:03:11,233
She likes me, you shrews!
62
00:03:11,235 --> 00:03:13,668
Okay, well that's what we get
for being nice.
63
00:03:13,670 --> 00:03:15,170
So back to the dessert bar,
64
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:17,472
did you get the pictures I sent
you of those cool stools?
65
00:03:17,474 --> 00:03:20,075
I saw the subject heading
was "cool stools,"
66
00:03:20,077 --> 00:03:23,778
and I thought you finally
shattered our last boundary.
67
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:26,414
Here, give me your phone.
68
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:27,716
I can't find the stools.
69
00:03:27,718 --> 00:03:28,783
(gasps)
70
00:03:28,785 --> 00:03:30,051
Oh, my God!
71
00:03:30,053 --> 00:03:31,586
I can't believe
what I'm seeing.
72
00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:33,888
Is it that dog driving?
73
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:35,690
No, why do you still
have a picture
74
00:03:35,692 --> 00:03:37,592
of your ex-boyfriend
on your phone?
75
00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:40,161
You swiped on my phone?
76
00:03:40,163 --> 00:03:42,097
What if I had something
embarrassing in there?
77
00:03:42,099 --> 00:03:45,100
Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot?
78
00:03:45,102 --> 00:03:47,736
Why do you still have a picture
of Randy on your phone?
79
00:03:47,738 --> 00:03:51,206
The guy who broke up with you
in L.A. using a therapist?
80
00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:53,908
This bespeaks
of an unresolved longing.
81
00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:56,845
Be-stop be-talking right now.
82
00:03:56,847 --> 00:04:00,015
I am gonna delete them, I just
haven't gotten around to it yet.
83
00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:02,217
Like being nice to people.
84
00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:06,855
Oh, my God,
this is too weird.
85
00:04:06,857 --> 00:04:08,723
-What?
-It's Randy.
86
00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:09,958
Does Max work here?
87
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,627
This smells like the place
she described.
88
00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:16,031
That smell's how I find
my way to work every day.
89
00:04:19,435 --> 00:04:21,636
What is he doing here?
I don't want to see him.
90
00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:24,706
Then don't turn around,
'cause he's right behind you.
91
00:04:24,708 --> 00:04:26,875
Max?
92
00:04:26,877 --> 00:04:29,077
Hey.
93
00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,947
Good to see you.
94
00:04:32,949 --> 00:04:35,784
You're not gonna turn around?
95
00:04:35,786 --> 00:04:38,586
No, I'm good.
96
00:04:38,588 --> 00:04:41,456
You're not gonna turn around
for that guy?
97
00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:44,326
I mean, I would turn around
for that guy.
98
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,962
See on the board
you have some specials.
99
00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:51,166
I guess I'll have
the sloppy...job?
100
00:04:53,769 --> 00:04:55,036
It's "joe."
101
00:04:55,038 --> 00:04:57,605
Sometimes my "E"s
look like "B"s.
102
00:04:57,607 --> 00:05:01,109
Clearly, I need to start writing
the specials on the board.
103
00:05:02,611 --> 00:05:06,348
You know what,
just give me the meat...load?
104
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:10,085
That one, sadly,
is spelled right.
105
00:05:10,087 --> 00:05:11,920
Randy,
what are you doing here?
106
00:05:11,922 --> 00:05:14,155
Lawyer stuff.
I'm in town for the weekend.
107
00:05:14,157 --> 00:05:16,157
My client, Tony Bennett,
is suing Lady Gaga
108
00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:18,860
for making him uncool.
109
00:05:18,862 --> 00:05:21,730
And I thought I'd come by
and see if Max wanted to see me.
110
00:05:21,732 --> 00:05:25,133
I guess I also wouldn't mind
a cup of hot caca.
111
00:05:27,136 --> 00:05:29,637
Max...
you're not gonna turn around?
112
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,042
Okay.
Guess I better go.
113
00:05:34,044 --> 00:05:35,810
Well, bye.
114
00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:37,011
Bye.
115
00:05:37,013 --> 00:05:40,215
(stomping feet)
116
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:45,653
Damn it!
117
00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:49,290
Fell for the ol'
Scooby Doo fake footsteps.
118
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,028
-How are you?
-I'm great.
119
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:55,363
Never been greater.
120
00:05:55,365 --> 00:05:56,865
Max, I need someone
to clean up
121
00:05:56,867 --> 00:05:59,067
the baby-changing station
in the ladies' room.
122
00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:02,270
-We don't have one.
-We do now.
123
00:06:03,973 --> 00:06:07,242
I guess I better let you
get back to work.
124
00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:10,545
If you want to see me,
give me a call.
125
00:06:10,547 --> 00:06:13,848
Tony has dinner
and goes to bed around 3:30.
126
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:16,751
♪
127
00:06:16,753 --> 00:06:19,554
Randy thinks he can just
show up with his face
128
00:06:19,556 --> 00:06:22,557
and his body and his
muscular-but-not-too-thick neck
129
00:06:22,559 --> 00:06:24,793
and think I'm gonna forget
that he dumped me?
130
00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:26,461
Max, don't say "dumped."
131
00:06:26,463 --> 00:06:29,297
Say "kicked to the curb."
It's kinder.
132
00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:32,600
Oh, Max, we have an
unattended package situation.
133
00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:36,571
Not unlike that homeless guy
we just passed on the stoop.
134
00:06:36,573 --> 00:06:38,840
Wow, that's the biggest box
I've seen
135
00:06:38,842 --> 00:06:43,011
since I accidentally clicked on
a "big, beautiful women" porn.
136
00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:45,079
It stops being
an "accident"
137
00:06:45,081 --> 00:06:46,714
when you wake me up
by yelling,
138
00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:49,651
"Hey, check out this 'big,
beautiful women' porn!"
139
00:06:49,653 --> 00:06:50,985
Well, this is exciting.
140
00:06:50,987 --> 00:06:52,420
I haven't had
a surprise delivery
141
00:06:52,422 --> 00:06:54,823
since that baby I felt
was just Chipolte.
142
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,395
Max, that never really
happened, right?
143
00:07:00,397 --> 00:07:03,665
Whatever makes you sleep
sounder, sweetheart.
144
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,400
Never happened.
145
00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:08,470
Oh, good God!
It's three kinds of popcorn!
146
00:07:08,472 --> 00:07:10,872
And all kinds
of disappointment.
147
00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:12,307
Crazy?
148
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,042
You've got your
standard butter,
149
00:07:14,044 --> 00:07:16,277
you got your sweet,
sweet caramel,
150
00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:19,180
and finally, the popcorn
that needs no introduction,
151
00:07:19,182 --> 00:07:21,216
cheese!
152
00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:23,985
Cheese-us, that's good.
153
00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:25,453
It's from Randy.
154
00:07:25,455 --> 00:07:28,022
"I know it's corny,
but I miss you.
155
00:07:28,024 --> 00:07:29,424
Love, Randy."
156
00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:32,861
Oh, great,
so he's a great writer too?
157
00:07:32,863 --> 00:07:34,729
Why am I mad at him again?
158
00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,564
All right, he obviously knows
your sweet spot
159
00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:38,333
is the grocery aisle
at Rite Aid,
160
00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,603
but I am not gonna let junk food
cloud your judgment again.
161
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:44,939
Like that time you donated blood
for a chocolate chip cookie.
162
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:48,142
Hey, I also got orange juice.
163
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:51,346
(knocking at door)
164
00:07:53,048 --> 00:07:55,416
Hey, girls.
165
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:59,053
Max, this was delivered upstairs
for you.
166
00:07:59,055 --> 00:08:00,822
Uh, sorry about
the bite marks,
167
00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:04,225
but the baby a whiff
of the pimento loaf and said,
168
00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:07,729
"Oh, I just got to have it."
169
00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:09,731
"I know I was a jerky,
170
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,367
so let me say sorry
with salami."
171
00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:14,202
What, does Randy have, like,
a team of writers
172
00:08:14,204 --> 00:08:15,436
working on these things?
173
00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:16,604
Randy?
174
00:08:16,606 --> 00:08:19,807
You mean that hot guy
with the muscular neck?
175
00:08:19,809 --> 00:08:21,843
Muscular, but not too thick.
176
00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:23,177
Yeah!
177
00:08:23,179 --> 00:08:25,179
He's trying to win you back
with salamis
178
00:08:25,181 --> 00:08:27,482
and delicious biscotti?
179
00:08:27,484 --> 00:08:29,651
There's no biscotti in here.
180
00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:31,386
Oh, yeah, well...
181
00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:34,455
the baby needed
something sweet.
182
00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:35,657
(gasps)
183
00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:36,724
Oh, my gosh.
184
00:08:36,726 --> 00:08:38,660
The baby just kicked.
185
00:08:38,662 --> 00:08:39,561
Oh!
186
00:08:39,563 --> 00:08:42,730
Oh, that brings me
so much joy.
187
00:08:42,732 --> 00:08:43,831
(gasps)
188
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,466
It did it again!
189
00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:46,501
Oh!
190
00:08:46,503 --> 00:08:47,702
My gosh.
191
00:08:47,704 --> 00:08:51,606
Hey, I think it's following
the salami!
192
00:08:51,608 --> 00:08:53,408
♪
193
00:08:57,046 --> 00:08:59,948
Thank you so much for showing us
the space today, Evie.
194
00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,950
I'm sure Max will be here
any minute.
195
00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:03,885
It's hard for her
to be on time.
196
00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:07,221
Or sober for more
than an hour.
197
00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:09,924
Well, the pros are the location
and the price.
198
00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:12,527
And the cons are
the 11 people I'm guessing
199
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:14,929
have died in here.
200
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:18,633
It is a little small,
but people like small.
201
00:09:18,635 --> 00:09:22,370
I know I do.
202
00:09:22,372 --> 00:09:26,274
And I know I am very curious
about the natural light in here.
203
00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:28,209
And I can make
anything pretty.
204
00:09:28,211 --> 00:09:30,278
Just ask Suda Mahmoosh
from high school.
205
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,549
Everyone called her Bert
till I worked my tweezer magic.
206
00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:37,218
Well, you have to act now,
because there are three other
207
00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:39,687
very attractive offers
on the table.
208
00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:42,890
And one wants
to take me on a cruise.
209
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,727
What did I tell you?
210
00:09:45,729 --> 00:09:49,297
She's undressing me
with her eyes.
211
00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:53,034
Well, I'm buttoning you
back up with mine.
212
00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:54,035
(cell phone ringing)
213
00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:55,803
Oh, I have to take this.
214
00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,005
And Han?
215
00:09:57,007 --> 00:10:00,208
(speaking native language)
216
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,212
What did she say
to you in Korean?
217
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:06,014
'Cause she was
coming at you hard.
218
00:10:06,016 --> 00:10:09,617
That she wants me
to come at her hard.
219
00:10:09,619 --> 00:10:11,219
Well, what's the problem, Han?
220
00:10:11,221 --> 00:10:13,154
I mean, she's cute
and she likes you,
221
00:10:13,156 --> 00:10:14,789
and it's not your job
to ask why.
222
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,691
That's mine and Max's.
223
00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:20,161
The problem is that she's
from a very conservative family,
224
00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:23,064
and she wants to be a virgin
when she gets married.
225
00:10:23,066 --> 00:10:26,501
A two-virgin marriage.
226
00:10:26,503 --> 00:10:27,502
That's cute.
227
00:10:27,504 --> 00:10:30,905
Or is it too matchy-matchy?
228
00:10:30,907 --> 00:10:35,076
No, no, she wants
to have sex before marriage.
229
00:10:35,078 --> 00:10:37,679
I'm confused--
she wants be a virgin,
230
00:10:37,681 --> 00:10:40,782
but she wants to have sex?
231
00:10:40,784 --> 00:10:43,217
Oh!
232
00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:46,954
Like an "everything but"
situation.
233
00:10:46,956 --> 00:10:48,656
So to speak.
234
00:10:48,658 --> 00:10:53,094
She's found a loophole,
and it rhymes with loophole.
235
00:10:57,332 --> 00:10:59,834
What?
236
00:10:59,836 --> 00:11:02,303
Below the waist,
she's like a mullet--
237
00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:05,506
business in the front,
party in the back.
238
00:11:07,643 --> 00:11:10,445
-Still nothing?
-Yeah, I got it!
239
00:11:10,447 --> 00:11:13,147
I just don't want
to talk about it.
240
00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:16,684
This is a conversation
you need to have with a man.
241
00:11:16,686 --> 00:11:19,387
And when Max gets here,
242
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,856
I'm sure she'll
make fun of you
243
00:11:21,858 --> 00:11:23,391
and then tell you what to do.
244
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:26,027
I'm sorry, Caroline.
The space just got rented.
245
00:11:26,029 --> 00:11:28,896
Spaces don't stay empty
for long around here.
246
00:11:28,898 --> 00:11:31,199
Han, can you walk me to my car?
247
00:11:31,201 --> 00:11:34,402
I need help putting something
in my trunk.
248
00:11:38,006 --> 00:11:41,676
I'm right behind you!
249
00:11:41,678 --> 00:11:44,545
I mean...
250
00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:48,816
Where are Mickey
and Minnie Mouse going?
251
00:11:48,818 --> 00:11:50,184
Max, where were you?
252
00:11:50,186 --> 00:11:51,619
You're late,
we lost the space,
253
00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:54,222
and I had to learn
that our real estate agent
254
00:11:54,224 --> 00:11:57,925
wants to have sex with Han,
but remain a...
255
00:11:57,927 --> 00:12:01,863
front virgin.
256
00:12:01,865 --> 00:12:03,664
Please understand me.
257
00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:07,769
Oh, she's working
the ol' loophole argument?
258
00:12:07,771 --> 00:12:09,036
What, you never heard of that?
259
00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:11,939
The girls at St. Bridget's
invented it.
260
00:12:11,941 --> 00:12:14,008
I can't take any more of this!
261
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:17,078
That's what they said!
262
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,081
But then they did.
263
00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:25,553
Shouldn't you be coming in
through the back door?
264
00:12:25,555 --> 00:12:29,423
♪
265
00:12:29,425 --> 00:12:31,993
I got to say, Max,
I'm really surprised
266
00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:33,694
you didn't cave in
and see Randy.
267
00:12:33,696 --> 00:12:38,232
You're showing more backbone
than a supermodel.
268
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:40,234
Yup, I'm not gonna see Randy!
269
00:12:40,236 --> 00:12:43,137
I'm not seeing Randy at all!
270
00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:46,307
Okay, and they say
I'm the loud one.
271
00:12:46,309 --> 00:12:49,610
Get out of here, Caroline!
272
00:12:49,612 --> 00:12:51,879
Who I am talking to.
273
00:12:51,881 --> 00:12:53,548
Uh, can you go outside
274
00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:55,483
and bring me something
from outside?
275
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,218
-Like what?
-Oh, I don't know.
276
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,220
A souvenir
from Coney Island.
277
00:12:59,222 --> 00:13:02,857
An old woman's hat
from Manhattan.
278
00:13:02,859 --> 00:13:04,959
Okay, sure.
Outside stuff, got it.
279
00:13:04,961 --> 00:13:07,328
Thanks.
Take your time.
280
00:13:09,131 --> 00:13:10,631
What are you still
doing here?
281
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:12,900
You said you were just gonna
take as shower and leave.
282
00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:14,502
I was waiting for
the water to get hot.
283
00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:17,138
Took four hours!
284
00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:19,240
You have to go before
Caroline gets back.
285
00:13:19,242 --> 00:13:21,075
Wow, I haven't snuck out
of an apartment
286
00:13:21,077 --> 00:13:24,545
since I helped my friend
escape Scientology.
287
00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:27,548
Well, she's back.
And you two are busted.
288
00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:28,749
I knew he was in here.
289
00:13:28,751 --> 00:13:30,384
I saw his 12-pack in my phone
290
00:13:30,386 --> 00:13:33,721
when I was taking
a couch selfie.
291
00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:35,556
And you let him use my towel?
292
00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:40,228
It's also my sheet/dress
for summer weddings.
293
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,495
Okay, you know what?
294
00:13:41,497 --> 00:13:42,864
I'm gonna get out
of your dress
295
00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:46,100
and give you two a minute.
296
00:13:46,102 --> 00:13:48,669
I can't believe
you had sex with Randy.
297
00:13:48,671 --> 00:13:49,937
More than just sex!
298
00:13:49,939 --> 00:13:51,372
Stay out of this!
299
00:13:51,374 --> 00:13:52,940
You said you were gonna
mull it over.
300
00:13:52,942 --> 00:13:54,442
Weigh the pros and cons.
301
00:13:54,444 --> 00:13:56,043
You know,
before you came here,
302
00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:58,646
I used to date pros and cons.
303
00:13:58,648 --> 00:14:00,915
I'm not used
to thinking about stuff
304
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:03,551
and making sound judgments.
305
00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:07,688
I just found out last year there
are instructions on medicine.
306
00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:10,424
Well, I'm sorry if I want
what's best for you.
307
00:14:10,426 --> 00:14:12,059
Just throwing this
out there--
308
00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:13,594
got a great job,
nice house,
309
00:14:13,596 --> 00:14:17,899
full-fledged AAA member
since 1998.
310
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:20,201
Please, this is between
me and Max.
311
00:14:20,203 --> 00:14:23,037
We have to figure out
what to do about you two.
312
00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:27,174
Well, I-I like him, but I don't
want to get hurt again.
313
00:14:27,176 --> 00:14:30,111
See?
Those are pros and cons.
314
00:14:30,113 --> 00:14:32,179
This is exciting.
315
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:33,781
What's going on out there?
316
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:36,384
'Cause it kind of sounds like
I'm on trial.
317
00:14:36,386 --> 00:14:38,352
You know what?
This is a big decision.
318
00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:40,721
Maybe we should all
just sleep on it.
319
00:14:40,723 --> 00:14:43,958
Isn't sleeping on it what got me
in trouble in the first place?
320
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,559
♪
321
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,932
I thought of another pro
for Randy.
322
00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:55,603
He looks like a man from
the front and from the back.
323
00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:58,639
Very rare in these times.
324
00:14:58,641 --> 00:15:00,675
Okay, I'll put it
on the list.
325
00:15:00,677 --> 00:15:04,612
Oh, no, this is my list
of reasons to stay alive.
326
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:06,347
You should know
I'm down to one.
327
00:15:06,349 --> 00:15:08,149
Oh.
328
00:15:08,151 --> 00:15:11,752
Evie found a small place in
Brooklyn she wants you to see.
329
00:15:11,754 --> 00:15:14,388
As for the small place
she wants me to see,
330
00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:16,590
I haven't decided.
331
00:15:16,592 --> 00:15:18,793
Caroline, let's get some
pros and cons going
332
00:15:18,795 --> 00:15:21,195
for Han taking the A-train.
333
00:15:21,197 --> 00:15:25,132
I mean, this is the closest
to a vagina that any of us
334
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:27,168
ever thought you'd be.
335
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:30,738
So if I decide to pass,
you won't think less of me?
336
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:33,541
Han, that would be impossible.
337
00:15:35,043 --> 00:15:38,779
Hey, everybody.
338
00:15:38,781 --> 00:15:41,682
You know, you get a seat
on the subway if you're pregnant
339
00:15:41,684 --> 00:15:44,952
and willing to sit
on an old person's lap.
340
00:15:44,954 --> 00:15:48,756
Sophie, what's a
seven-letter word for--oh, hell.
341
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:52,026
Three years is too long
to spend on one crossword.
342
00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:55,696
According to my mom,
it's too long to spend
343
00:15:55,698 --> 00:15:57,698
in third grade too.
344
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,800
Carol, come to my booth.
345
00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:01,669
I think my baby's
gonna kick again.
346
00:16:01,671 --> 00:16:03,437
Uh, Sophie,
we're kind of working.
347
00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:05,639
Oh, you got a job?
348
00:16:09,077 --> 00:16:10,177
Hey, there.
349
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:12,313
I'm, uh, here for Max.
350
00:16:12,315 --> 00:16:14,248
Oh, and 14 across?
351
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,549
Papaya.
352
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:18,252
Damn!
I'm back in!
353
00:16:19,755 --> 00:16:22,289
Randy, we actually haven't come
to a decision yet.
354
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,824
Well, I want my day in court.
355
00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:26,627
Oh, you could have mine.
It's the third.
356
00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:28,095
As you know,
I'm a lawyer.
357
00:16:28,097 --> 00:16:30,064
And I usually don't practice
in a courtroom
358
00:16:30,066 --> 00:16:33,067
that serves something
called pork chip.
359
00:16:33,069 --> 00:16:34,835
But if I'm gonna be
on trial here,
360
00:16:34,837 --> 00:16:36,871
-I'm gonna make my case.
-Okay, but let me just say--
361
00:16:36,873 --> 00:16:38,406
Do you want the list
of pros and cons?
362
00:16:38,408 --> 00:16:39,740
I got this.
363
00:16:39,742 --> 00:16:41,575
I need to make sure
that I can trust you
364
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,377
with my best friend's heart
again.
365
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:47,848
Oh, my God, that was pure
Good Wife.
366
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:50,017
Max, go have a seat
in Sophie's booth.
367
00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:54,255
That's fine, but I'm getting
some of that pork chip.
368
00:16:54,257 --> 00:16:55,489
It's good, baby.
369
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:58,192
It comes with a side
of ass potatoes.
370
00:17:01,096 --> 00:17:02,430
Randy.
371
00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:05,566
You live in L.A.
Max lives in New York.
372
00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:08,536
Did you or did you not
say you're bad
373
00:17:08,538 --> 00:17:10,371
at long-distance relationships?
374
00:17:10,373 --> 00:17:11,572
I did.
375
00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:13,441
And did you
or did you not say
376
00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:15,776
that you're just in town
for the weekend?
377
00:17:15,778 --> 00:17:17,645
Well, I did say that--
378
00:17:17,647 --> 00:17:19,146
Ma'am, do you
or do you not see me
379
00:17:19,148 --> 00:17:23,350
conducting a mock trial
up in here?
380
00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:26,187
Randy, did you
or did you not
381
00:17:26,189 --> 00:17:30,691
break up with Max
using a therapist because...
382
00:17:30,693 --> 00:17:34,895
you couldn't do it yourself?
383
00:17:34,897 --> 00:17:38,099
-Well, I--
-Answer the question!
384
00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:39,066
Yes.
385
00:17:39,068 --> 00:17:42,770
Caroline, girl,
you are good.
386
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:44,738
Where were you
when I got arrested
387
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:48,943
for being black in Tacoma?
388
00:17:48,945 --> 00:17:51,545
You're living in L.A.,
Max is living in New York,
389
00:17:51,547 --> 00:17:52,913
and you're both living
in denial
390
00:17:52,915 --> 00:17:54,849
if you think
a relationship can work.
391
00:17:54,851 --> 00:17:58,052
May I approach the booth
and mount my defense?
392
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:03,924
You mounted the defense
three times yesterday.
393
00:18:03,926 --> 00:18:06,660
Objection!
Kissing the witness!
394
00:18:06,662 --> 00:18:09,029
What the hell
is going on out here?
395
00:18:09,031 --> 00:18:13,100
They are putting that white
Billy Dee Williams on trial.
396
00:18:15,904 --> 00:18:19,440
You're right,
I did hurt her.
397
00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:22,443
Breaking up with her using
a therapist was a bad decision.
398
00:18:22,445 --> 00:18:25,913
Breaking up with her at all
was a bad decision.
399
00:18:25,915 --> 00:18:27,815
And why should she trust me
if I'm just gonna
400
00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:29,817
blow into town for the weekend
and leave?
401
00:18:29,819 --> 00:18:32,386
Well, for a lawyer,
you're not making
402
00:18:32,388 --> 00:18:34,221
a great case for yourself.
403
00:18:34,223 --> 00:18:35,456
Yeah.
404
00:18:35,458 --> 00:18:37,791
I mean, if I were you,
I'd just
405
00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:40,327
take my shirt off right now.
406
00:18:42,197 --> 00:18:44,298
And the truth is...
407
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:45,933
I'm not here on business.
408
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:48,169
Tony Bennett isn't suing
Lady Gaga.
409
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:52,006
Although he should.
I'm just not involved.
410
00:18:52,008 --> 00:18:56,944
I came to New York
for the weekend to see Max.
411
00:18:56,946 --> 00:18:58,779
RANDY: And she's the reason
I'm gonna stay
412
00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:00,781
in New York for a month
413
00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:03,817
to see if we can make this work.
414
00:19:03,819 --> 00:19:07,021
I think that should count
as two pros.
415
00:19:10,759 --> 00:19:12,793
You're really gonna
stay here for me?
416
00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:14,995
I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
417
00:19:14,997 --> 00:19:19,233
I didn't even delete
your photos off my phone.
418
00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:21,569
Well, that's pathetic.
419
00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:25,039
♪
420
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:28,108
So I think I found the perfect
space for your dessert bar.
421
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,344
It's got to be better than
the other holes you showed us.
422
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:32,346
Well, it's in the trendiest part
of Williamsburg,
423
00:19:32,348 --> 00:19:35,616
cheap, and the landlord
is a really nice guy.
424
00:19:35,618 --> 00:19:37,251
It's so close to the diner.
425
00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:39,486
Won't it be weird
if we run into Han?
426
00:19:39,488 --> 00:19:41,589
And not with a car?
427
00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:43,591
Okay.
This is it.
428
00:19:43,593 --> 00:19:45,459
Hello!
429
00:19:45,461 --> 00:19:48,829
Oh, no,
I hate puppet shows.
430
00:19:48,831 --> 00:19:51,632
Evie, this isn't available,
it's a cupcake shop.
431
00:19:51,634 --> 00:19:54,501
Unless those two girls
finally gave up.
432
00:19:54,503 --> 00:19:56,570
I've decided
to let you expand.
433
00:19:56,572 --> 00:20:01,442
Evie convinced me to do things
outside my comfort zone.
434
00:20:01,444 --> 00:20:04,378
-Yes, I did.
-How 'bout that, Caroline?
435
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:08,115
We're not the only ones she
showed a dingy, dark hole to.
436
00:20:08,117 --> 00:20:10,317
Get your minds out
of the gutter.
437
00:20:10,319 --> 00:20:12,253
She took me to hot yoga.
438
00:20:12,255 --> 00:20:14,688
He vomited two "oms" in.
439
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,557
But at least he tried.
440
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:18,659
So who knows what's next?
441
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,928
Well, I've never had lobster.
442
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:22,363
Han, are you sure about this?
443
00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:24,431
You'll let us
build our dessert bar here?
444
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:27,768
I'm sure I'll regret it
almost immediately.
445
00:20:27,770 --> 00:20:29,737
Han, I would hug you
right now,
446
00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:32,706
but the cons outweigh the pros.
447
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,608
This is gonna be
the coolest bar!
448
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:37,478
We just have to get rid of that.
449
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,713
♪
450
00:20:39,715 --> 00:20:40,981
(cash register bell dings)