1
00:00:01,377 --> 00:00:04,846
Max, I feel like
this woman on Tinder
2
00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:06,815
is lying about her age.
3
00:00:06,817 --> 00:00:09,818
If she's 78, I'm 25.
4
00:00:11,754 --> 00:00:15,557
I'd say she's 80,
but that rack is 40.
5
00:00:16,793 --> 00:00:20,195
Well, maybe I can
squeeze her in tonight,
6
00:00:20,197 --> 00:00:22,464
but I already got eight dates.
7
00:00:22,466 --> 00:00:26,334
With my arthritis
it's impossible to swipe left.
8
00:00:28,471 --> 00:00:30,772
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
9
00:00:30,774 --> 00:00:32,307
[cash register bell dings]
10
00:00:32,309 --> 00:00:37,679
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
11
00:00:39,348 --> 00:00:41,650
Girls, you're going to
have to close up tonight.
12
00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:44,853
I'm pretty sure
I have a date with Earl.
13
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:53,195
Han, your only friend
that isn't imaginary is here.
14
00:00:53,197 --> 00:00:56,264
He's dropping my VIP passes
to Game Con.
15
00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:58,533
Ned's demo-ing
the brand new video game
16
00:00:58,535 --> 00:01:00,402
he created, and I'll be there
17
00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:03,438
hanging out
in the cosplayer's lair.
18
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,641
Is that where you
don't get laired?
19
00:01:08,377 --> 00:01:12,514
Thank God I didn't tell you
it was sponsored by Virgin.
20
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,650
I don't get video games.
21
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:18,787
In my day, if you wanted
to enter another reality
22
00:01:18,789 --> 00:01:22,991
you just took acid
and went to the aquarium.
23
00:01:22,993 --> 00:01:25,694
Game Con has awesome swag bags.
24
00:01:25,696 --> 00:01:27,662
This year
they're handing out iPads,
25
00:01:27,664 --> 00:01:30,432
and last year I got
the Microsoft Surface.
26
00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:34,569
You are a microsoft surface.
27
00:01:35,872 --> 00:01:39,241
Have fun at Lollapa-loser.
28
00:01:39,243 --> 00:01:43,145
I would never go to Lame Con.
29
00:01:44,881 --> 00:01:46,681
I've got to go to Game Con!
30
00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,750
So we can make fun of Han
some more?
31
00:01:48,752 --> 00:01:53,121
Because video games really seem
to be my put-down sweet spot.
32
00:01:53,123 --> 00:01:55,457
Caroline, it's about time
you knew.
33
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:57,959
I'm really into video games.
34
00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:00,362
I've known since I was ten.
35
00:02:00,364 --> 00:02:04,399
Max, are you coming out to me
as a game woman?
36
00:02:04,401 --> 00:02:06,735
There was this arcade
37
00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:09,437
at the pizza place
my mom used to leave me at.
38
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:13,308
Ms. Pac-Man taught me
how to swallow pills.
39
00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:16,278
All right, well,
if we're confessing things,
40
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,346
I really want a free iPad,
so I guess
41
00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:19,881
you'll have to be nice
to that nerd,
42
00:02:19,883 --> 00:02:21,816
even if he is a customer.
43
00:02:23,986 --> 00:02:25,220
All right, we got this.
44
00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:26,388
Suck it up.
45
00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:29,624
I'm not sucking anything.
46
00:02:29,626 --> 00:02:32,627
Hey, everybody!
47
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,167
Well, I guess it's true
what they say.
48
00:02:39,169 --> 00:02:41,403
You can't hire my manicurist
49
00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:44,606
to put an addition
on your apartment, yeah.
50
00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:46,875
Oh, you're renovating.
51
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:49,945
That explains the banging
and power drills I hear.
52
00:02:49,947 --> 00:02:52,948
Most of that was us.
53
00:02:52,950 --> 00:02:54,416
We got some new sex toys.
54
00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:57,819
It's like Santa's dirty workshop
up there.
55
00:02:57,821 --> 00:03:00,288
See, we're splitting
the boudoir in half
56
00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:02,891
so the baby can have
its own bedroom.
57
00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:04,826
Its own bedroom?
58
00:03:04,828 --> 00:03:07,562
So the baby that you're
not even pregnant with yet
59
00:03:07,564 --> 00:03:09,898
is doing better
than old Caroline?
60
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:13,635
No, Ming Wa wants me to
give up my walk-in closet.
61
00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:18,206
I mean, that's where my purses
and half my hair live.
62
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,208
So purses and hair
63
00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:22,744
are doing better than
old Caroline too?
64
00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:27,082
Uh, earwax is doing better
than old Caroline.
65
00:03:27,084 --> 00:03:28,817
[bell dings]
66
00:03:28,819 --> 00:03:30,285
Come on, Caroline.
67
00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,521
Let's shake these asses
and get them passes.
68
00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:35,323
Do you think
I should shave my back
69
00:03:35,325 --> 00:03:37,826
for tomorrow for Game Con?
70
00:03:37,828 --> 00:03:40,428
My mom does.
71
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,197
Here are your fries.
72
00:03:42,199 --> 00:03:43,665
Ned, have you been
working out?
73
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,367
[gasping]
74
00:03:45,369 --> 00:03:47,569
You know my name?
75
00:03:47,571 --> 00:03:49,204
Max, take your hand away.
76
00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:51,806
You'll kill him.
77
00:03:51,808 --> 00:03:55,477
Is there any way you can
get me into Game Con tomorrow?
78
00:03:55,479 --> 00:03:58,246
Oh!
This is rich.
79
00:03:58,248 --> 00:04:00,415
The hot girls need something
from the nerds
80
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:04,653
like in science class
or any marriage in LA.
81
00:04:06,322 --> 00:04:08,990
I don't have any more tickets...
82
00:04:08,992 --> 00:04:12,193
or now a will to live.
83
00:04:12,195 --> 00:04:15,930
So...this is awkward.
84
00:04:15,932 --> 00:04:19,334
Well, puberty's
a challenging time, Han.
85
00:04:24,707 --> 00:04:25,874
I did it!
86
00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:27,542
I got us in.
87
00:04:27,544 --> 00:04:30,312
Max, again,
I feel like the homeless shelter
88
00:04:30,314 --> 00:04:33,081
would be a step down for us.
89
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,849
To Game Con.
90
00:04:34,851 --> 00:04:38,353
I got us jobs as booth babes!
91
00:04:38,355 --> 00:04:42,023
I'd rather go to the shelter.
92
00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:44,426
What are booth babes?
93
00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:46,661
We just have to wear
these dresses,
94
00:04:46,663 --> 00:04:48,863
look hot,
and hand out some flyers.
95
00:04:48,865 --> 00:04:53,034
Like a sexy Jehovah's Witness.
96
00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,804
Wearing that?
Where's the top?
97
00:04:55,806 --> 00:04:57,639
- That is the top.
- Okay, where's the bottom?
98
00:04:57,641 --> 00:04:59,107
- You're looking at it.
- Where's the middle?
99
00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:00,508
- That's it.
- And the rest?
100
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:03,745
Oh, right.
101
00:05:03,747 --> 00:05:06,915
Slutty boots!
102
00:05:06,917 --> 00:05:08,116
Are we really gonna show
103
00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:11,186
our vaginas for a gift bag?
104
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:16,024
Yes, what else are they for?
105
00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:19,260
You heard Han.
106
00:05:19,262 --> 00:05:22,597
We could get a TV, XBoxes,
your precious iPad.
107
00:05:22,599 --> 00:05:24,866
At the very least,
bottled water.
108
00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:26,768
[knock at door]
109
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:30,705
It's just so degrading to
parade around in short skirts
110
00:05:30,707 --> 00:05:32,273
and be fake nice to nerds and--
111
00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:36,177
oh, my God,
that's what we do at the diner.
112
00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:39,080
Hey, girls.
113
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,018
We had to fire our contractor.
114
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:46,121
Yeah, it's just taking too long.
115
00:05:46,123 --> 00:05:49,324
It's like having sex
with a guy on Prozac.
116
00:05:52,128 --> 00:05:54,929
Been there.
117
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:58,833
And I'm still waiting.
118
00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:00,535
So we hired my cousin.
119
00:06:00,537 --> 00:06:03,738
She and I have become close
since we stopped dating.
120
00:06:05,708 --> 00:06:07,675
I mean, we were going to
stay at a hotel,
121
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:11,413
but why do that
when we can stay with friends?
122
00:06:12,248 --> 00:06:15,216
Friends?
What friends?
123
00:06:15,218 --> 00:06:18,420
Not you, Caroline.
Max.
124
00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:25,360
I can't believe
what I'm wearing.
125
00:06:25,362 --> 00:06:30,465
This dress sets women back
further than HBO's "Ballers."
126
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:35,170
Well, I think it's nice to be
paid to put on clothes for once.
127
00:06:35,172 --> 00:06:36,805
"Ant Thrax"?
128
00:06:36,807 --> 00:06:38,173
Oops.
129
00:06:38,175 --> 00:06:39,340
You'll have to get it.
130
00:06:39,342 --> 00:06:40,508
I can't bend over any further
131
00:06:40,510 --> 00:06:43,878
or everyone will
see my PlayStation.
132
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,681
[techno music playing]
133
00:06:46,683 --> 00:06:51,119
Did a very slow earthquake
just hit this booth?
134
00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:52,187
♪
135
00:06:52,189 --> 00:06:54,088
Hi.
Is this, like, a real dance,
136
00:06:54,090 --> 00:06:56,257
or should I go get help?
137
00:06:56,259 --> 00:06:58,126
♪
138
00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,494
They're not having seizures.
139
00:06:59,496 --> 00:07:02,564
I think we're supposed to
dance like that.
140
00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:10,572
♪
141
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:16,110
Max?
Caroline?
142
00:07:16,112 --> 00:07:18,413
Even though you just
saw us doing that,
143
00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:21,749
we are still
so much cooler than you.
144
00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:25,220
Yes,
but the gap's getting smaller.
145
00:07:25,222 --> 00:07:26,754
How did you two get in here?
146
00:07:26,756 --> 00:07:28,957
A continuing series
of bad decisions.
147
00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:31,192
You wouldn't help us,
148
00:07:31,194 --> 00:07:33,394
so we decided to be booth babes.
149
00:07:33,396 --> 00:07:35,096
The most recent in
the continuing series
150
00:07:35,098 --> 00:07:37,665
of those bad decisions.
151
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:41,102
(Han) Max, Caroline, I'd like
you to meet my gamer crew.
152
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:44,305
Basically, my Han-tourage.
153
00:07:46,742 --> 00:07:50,645
You were right, this thing was
sponsored by Virgin.
154
00:07:51,947 --> 00:07:53,481
If you guys are here,
155
00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:56,251
who's watching
your grandmother's basements?
156
00:07:56,253 --> 00:07:59,854
And this is my plus-on, Eunice.
157
00:07:59,856 --> 00:08:02,857
AKA Super Nintend-Ho.
158
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,194
We never met till today.
159
00:08:06,196 --> 00:08:07,695
Isn't he the cutest?
160
00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,531
He saved me from
a burning village,
161
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:11,266
and then he asked me
to marry him.
162
00:08:11,268 --> 00:08:14,235
[chuckles]
Actually, my avatar asked
163
00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:16,838
her avatar to get married...
164
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,340
in the game.
165
00:08:19,342 --> 00:08:21,276
Congratulations.
166
00:08:21,278 --> 00:08:23,411
That's not sad.
167
00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:25,613
I'm gonna go
get my Pixel Pie a drink.
168
00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:27,282
It's the least I can do
for the man
169
00:08:27,284 --> 00:08:29,651
who pulled me
from a roaring inferno.
170
00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:31,152
[chuckles]
171
00:08:31,154 --> 00:08:33,121
Hurry back!
172
00:08:33,123 --> 00:08:36,891
I should have let her burn!
173
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,626
Are you kidding?
174
00:08:38,628 --> 00:08:40,128
She's your type:
175
00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:42,196
willing.
176
00:08:42,198 --> 00:08:44,432
But I can't be tied down.
177
00:08:44,434 --> 00:08:45,833
Between this VIP pass
178
00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:48,202
and my suite
at the Holiday Inn Express,
179
00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:52,206
I could be
the Don Juan of Game Con.
180
00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:54,842
She's coming!
181
00:08:54,844 --> 00:08:57,712
Oh, where's Han Solo going?
182
00:08:57,714 --> 00:09:00,882
Uh...the Pokémon booth
started a flash mob
183
00:09:00,884 --> 00:09:03,851
and they needed a Pikachu.
184
00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:06,387
Death Bitch!
185
00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:12,594
I knew you seemed familiar.
186
00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,330
You look like that new
character, Death Bitch.
187
00:09:15,332 --> 00:09:16,864
Your booth is right over there.
188
00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:19,067
It's the most popular
video game here...
189
00:09:19,069 --> 00:09:22,270
after "Girlfriend Simulator."
190
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:30,311
Oh, my God, Max.
191
00:09:30,313 --> 00:09:32,213
[gasps]
Look.
192
00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:36,351
Han's gamer friend nerd is
carrying you away.
193
00:09:36,353 --> 00:09:39,120
And I do not like
where he has his hand.
194
00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:40,555
Ned, stop!
195
00:09:40,557 --> 00:09:41,556
(Max)
Yeah.
196
00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:45,293
At least buy me drink first.
197
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:48,496
I'm just gonna put this down.
198
00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:51,599
Ned, this is your game?
199
00:09:51,601 --> 00:09:55,436
You turned Max into
some kind of Boobarella.
200
00:09:55,438 --> 00:09:57,805
I'm sorry, you weren't
supposed to see this yet.
201
00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:00,875
I was going to invite you
to the official release party.
202
00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:02,810
If this guy's having
a release party,
203
00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:05,613
it's probably
into an old sock.
204
00:10:10,753 --> 00:10:12,286
By the way, I'm taking this.
205
00:10:12,288 --> 00:10:15,490
I need someone to cover my shift
at the diner tomorrow.
206
00:10:15,492 --> 00:10:17,225
I don't think you'll need to
work at the diner
207
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:21,262
after you're compensated for
Ned stealing your likeness.
208
00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:24,165
My mom said it was fine.
209
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,167
I can get money for this?
210
00:10:26,169 --> 00:10:27,702
Because I'm pretty sure
211
00:10:27,704 --> 00:10:31,572
"Grand Theft Auto" is based on
how I got to New York.
212
00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:32,674
How you doing?
213
00:10:32,676 --> 00:10:35,510
Tony Shapiro,
Rock N' Roll Games.
214
00:10:35,512 --> 00:10:38,513
Recently divorced.
215
00:10:39,615 --> 00:10:42,283
Tony, I don't think
you bargained for
216
00:10:42,285 --> 00:10:44,852
a Wharton-educated
booth babe...
217
00:10:44,854 --> 00:10:46,187
and neither did I.
218
00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:48,690
But your designer stole
my friend's likeness
219
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,091
without her consent,
220
00:10:50,093 --> 00:10:51,993
so we're entitled to
a percentage of the profits.
221
00:10:51,995 --> 00:10:54,796
This illustration is not so
similar that it would hold up
222
00:10:54,798 --> 00:10:56,264
in a court of law.
223
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:59,734
Oh, my God, Death Bitch.
224
00:10:59,736 --> 00:11:01,102
That's not her.
225
00:11:01,104 --> 00:11:02,603
[scoffs]
The hell it's not.
226
00:11:02,605 --> 00:11:03,705
Look at her, dude.
227
00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:05,707
One, two.
228
00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:11,145
Look, it's clear you guys don't
have the money for a lawyer.
229
00:11:11,147 --> 00:11:13,147
That's true.
Keep talking.
230
00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:14,482
But I get you want a payday,
231
00:11:14,484 --> 00:11:16,684
so I will pay your friend
to play Amorta
232
00:11:16,686 --> 00:11:19,954
and take pictures with the fans
at our photo booth tomorrow.
233
00:11:19,956 --> 00:11:21,155
You're in luck.
234
00:11:21,157 --> 00:11:24,992
The model we hired died
of an overdose.
235
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:27,995
At least she died
doing what I love.
236
00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:30,331
Tony, we may look like
we've settled in life,
237
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,766
but we aren't gonna settle here.
238
00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:34,168
We stand to make millions
if we take you to court.
239
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,804
- No, you don't.
- That's true, keep talking.
240
00:11:36,806 --> 00:11:38,539
What do you want?
241
00:11:38,541 --> 00:11:42,443
Throw in a free iPad and I'll
deliver her on-time and clean.
242
00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:45,346
You'll get me here on time.
243
00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:52,820
[device whirring]
244
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:04,232
Um...what's happening here?
245
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:08,002
Is this the foreplay
or the cleanup?
246
00:12:08,004 --> 00:12:10,271
Sophie's using a PedEgg
on my feet.
247
00:12:10,273 --> 00:12:14,175
[giggles]
And it tickles.
248
00:12:14,177 --> 00:12:16,444
Yeah, you know,
if you go just one day
249
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:18,279
without shaving calluses,
250
00:12:18,281 --> 00:12:21,082
you've already lost the war.
251
00:12:21,084 --> 00:12:22,550
[device resumes whirring]
252
00:12:22,552 --> 00:12:24,986
Yeah, well,
I'm sorry for the mess.
253
00:12:24,988 --> 00:12:29,490
Uh, I had to bring down
some basic necessities.
254
00:12:29,492 --> 00:12:34,695
Yeah, like...like plates
and cups and toilet paper.
255
00:12:39,768 --> 00:12:45,306
Wait, is that a TV and an XBox
in my apartment?
256
00:12:45,308 --> 00:12:46,941
I don't know what to do.
257
00:12:46,943 --> 00:12:49,010
I've been waiting for this day
my whole life,
258
00:12:49,012 --> 00:12:51,946
and now that it's hear I'm shy.
259
00:12:51,948 --> 00:12:54,248
Yeah, this is how
we watch TV.
260
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:58,085
We get Hulu, Netflix, YouTube...
261
00:12:58,087 --> 00:12:59,887
YouSpank...
262
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:02,690
SpankBank...
263
00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:05,726
PornOnTheCob.
264
00:13:05,728 --> 00:13:08,763
Can I pop in this sweet
demo game I got today?
265
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:11,432
It's a hyper-sexualized,
violent version of me
266
00:13:11,434 --> 00:13:13,835
who kills everyone
who gets in my way.
267
00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,103
It's a biopic, really.
268
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,973
Stick it in
and I'll watch you play.
269
00:13:18,975 --> 00:13:20,775
[laughs]
270
00:13:20,777 --> 00:13:23,477
Gosh, if I had a nickel
every time Oleg said that--
271
00:13:23,479 --> 00:13:27,315
You'd be able to
afford a hotel room?
272
00:13:27,317 --> 00:13:29,250
Okay, well,
I'm gonna go in the other room,
273
00:13:29,252 --> 00:13:30,918
anywhere but here...
274
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,322
which now smells like
patchouli and pierogis.
275
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:40,127
Oh, we have a sex swing now.
276
00:13:40,129 --> 00:13:42,396
(male video game narrator)
Welcome to Asrieth, Amorta.
277
00:13:42,398 --> 00:13:44,565
You must kill
anything that moves.
278
00:13:44,567 --> 00:13:45,933
Go.
279
00:13:45,935 --> 00:13:49,437
[Amorta grunting]
280
00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:52,673
This chick is my spirit animal.
281
00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:55,042
All she's doing is
drinking from a flask
282
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,278
and punching people
in the face.
283
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,981
Max, she's just like you.
284
00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:01,582
[Amorta continues grunting]
285
00:14:01,584 --> 00:14:03,084
(Amorta)
Yak Girl, come!
286
00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:05,086
[grunts]
I need you!
287
00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:08,289
[yak moaning]
288
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:13,027
What's that silly animal thing?
289
00:14:13,029 --> 00:14:14,228
Yak Girl.
[scoffs]
290
00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:16,464
I think she's my sidekick.
291
00:14:16,466 --> 00:14:18,366
Hey.
[chuckles]
292
00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:22,236
That thing looks
just like Caroline.
293
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:23,404
It does!
294
00:14:23,406 --> 00:14:26,207
It looks like Caroline!
295
00:14:26,209 --> 00:14:28,009
Why did I hear my name?
[Yak groans]
296
00:14:28,011 --> 00:14:31,946
Why am I seeing a horse thing
that has my face?
297
00:14:31,948 --> 00:14:34,315
Please, Caroline, it's not
a horse thing with your face.
298
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:36,851
It's a yak thing with your face.
299
00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,854
[yak groaning]
300
00:14:40,856 --> 00:14:41,923
That's the sound you make
301
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:45,993
when you have to do
side work at the diner.
302
00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:48,362
(Amorta)
[grunts] Yak Girl, come!
303
00:14:48,364 --> 00:14:51,065
Hey, look.
304
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:54,235
Max, you're riding her.
305
00:14:54,237 --> 00:14:56,170
Oh!
306
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,505
Oh, no, no way.
307
00:14:57,507 --> 00:15:00,141
I'm calling that Tony jerk
right now.
308
00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:01,409
[Yak groans]
So what?
309
00:15:01,411 --> 00:15:03,177
She just lets
Death Bitch ride her?
310
00:15:03,179 --> 00:15:04,845
That's all Yak Girl does?
311
00:15:04,847 --> 00:15:08,049
No, she poops
when you hit this button.
312
00:15:08,051 --> 00:15:09,817
[farting]
313
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:12,586
[laughs]
314
00:15:12,588 --> 00:15:15,790
Ah, Caroline can't stop pooping!
315
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:20,328
Just like that one time
at the diner.
316
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,331
Tony, this is Caroline Channing,
317
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:25,232
AKA Yak Girl.
318
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:27,401
I am taking you to court.
319
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:30,938
That's true.
Keep talking.
320
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:32,273
That's your big offer?
321
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:35,609
That I dress like that
and take pictures with nerds?
322
00:15:35,611 --> 00:15:38,112
Well, let me just
say to you, sir,
323
00:15:38,114 --> 00:15:40,114
I will need an iPad, as well.
324
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:42,183
[farting]
325
00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:45,920
[laughing]
326
00:15:45,922 --> 00:15:49,323
Somebody better go out
and get that toilet paper.
327
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,399
How long till Death Bitch?
328
00:15:58,401 --> 00:16:00,735
I have to go take my medication.
329
00:16:00,737 --> 00:16:03,938
What are you taking?
You got any extra?
330
00:16:05,107 --> 00:16:06,440
Right this way.
331
00:16:06,442 --> 00:16:08,976
This is so exciting.
332
00:16:10,112 --> 00:16:13,180
[cheering]
333
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:14,782
This will be fun.
334
00:16:14,784 --> 00:16:18,152
I haven't been paid to be a
bitch since I worked at the DMV.
335
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:19,887
Ooh, a green screen.
336
00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:21,789
Look, I'm on another planet.
337
00:16:21,791 --> 00:16:24,325
Finally got that vacation.
338
00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:27,728
Hey, Yak Girl, come on out.
Time is money!
339
00:16:33,635 --> 00:16:35,302
You okay in there?
340
00:16:35,304 --> 00:16:39,640
This is what it must be like for
Kim Kardashian to enter a room.
341
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,276
All right,
it's pretty simple.
342
00:16:42,278 --> 00:16:43,544
One picture.
343
00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:44,678
And don't worry
if you get a boner.
344
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,881
We'll crop it out.
345
00:16:47,749 --> 00:16:50,518
Could I be any more humiliated?
346
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,319
I just want a photo with her.
347
00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:54,155
Not you.
348
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:55,756
I guess you could.
349
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:59,260
Fine, I'm probably
due for a poop, anyway.
350
00:16:59,262 --> 00:17:00,428
[sighs]
351
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,196
Aah!
352
00:17:02,198 --> 00:17:04,198
I'm okay!
353
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,101
Can you chop my head off?
354
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:10,304
It'll be the best head
you'll ever get.
355
00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:17,511
All right, get out of here.
I killed you.
356
00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:18,746
Hold on.
357
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:20,714
Death Bitch,
say your catchphrase.
358
00:17:20,716 --> 00:17:22,716
Remember: even in death,
359
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:25,252
you're my bitch.
360
00:17:26,321 --> 00:17:27,488
- [sighs]
361
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:28,956
- I'm really liking
this identity.
362
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:31,859
It's better than
the other 17 I've had.
363
00:17:33,028 --> 00:17:34,829
- Nobody wants to
take a photo with me.
364
00:17:34,831 --> 00:17:38,032
I mean, baby got yak,
right, Max?
365
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:40,034
Will you just let me enjoy this?
366
00:17:40,036 --> 00:17:41,902
This is a dream come true
for me.
367
00:17:41,904 --> 00:17:43,370
I'm at a game convention.
368
00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:44,939
I'm the star of a video game.
369
00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:46,941
I can kill without consequences.
370
00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:49,009
I'm pretty much peaking
right now.
371
00:17:49,011 --> 00:17:50,778
Yeah, well, I have hooves.
372
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:53,681
Can I just be upset
for one minute?
373
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,418
Max, hide me.
374
00:17:57,420 --> 00:18:00,821
Looks like you're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.
375
00:18:00,823 --> 00:18:02,756
Aah!
376
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,291
Seriously, help.
377
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,093
Get back here, Han Solo!
378
00:18:06,095 --> 00:18:08,796
You promised
we'd build our lives together.
379
00:18:08,798 --> 00:18:12,566
We shared that Hot Pocket
"Lady in the Tramp" style.
380
00:18:12,568 --> 00:18:13,834
Uh, miss?
381
00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,536
There's gotta be
better people out there.
382
00:18:15,538 --> 00:18:18,472
Have you tried
literally anyone else?
383
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:22,910
I convinced my sister to
sign me out for this weekend,
384
00:18:22,912 --> 00:18:26,480
so you are not gonna
stop me from seeing my Han.
385
00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:30,284
Back off, Amorta!
386
00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:32,286
Uh, Han, you're on your own.
387
00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:33,954
I can't ruin this costume.
388
00:18:33,956 --> 00:18:37,291
I'm gonna need it the next time
I have to get out of jury duty.
389
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:38,459
Oh, no, I'm a goner.
390
00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:39,960
She's gonna eat me alive.
391
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,963
You should have seen her
go to town on that Hot Pocket.
392
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:44,031
Out of the way, Han.
I'll show you all
393
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:46,767
I can do more than just poop.
394
00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:50,404
Oh.
395
00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:52,406
[groans]
396
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,877
Uh, Yak Girl?
397
00:18:56,879 --> 00:19:00,080
Your heinie quarters
are showing.
398
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,017
Got it.
399
00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:06,887
This is gonna the girl
I'm catfishing real jealous.
400
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,099
Hey, Earl.
401
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:21,802
Hey, Caroline.
Hey, Max.
402
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:24,004
Hey, Max.
403
00:19:26,408 --> 00:19:28,742
Hi, Max.
Hey.
404
00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:30,110
Look at that.
405
00:19:30,112 --> 00:19:33,314
I have the exact same antlers.
406
00:19:34,482 --> 00:19:35,816
That's not me.
407
00:19:35,818 --> 00:19:38,586
You can tell by
how fast she's moving.
408
00:19:38,588 --> 00:19:41,322
Know what's not moving fast?
409
00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:42,856
Our construction.
410
00:19:42,858 --> 00:19:45,826
Yeah, we had to fire
Oleg's cousin.
411
00:19:45,828 --> 00:19:49,463
Turns out the sexual tension
was still there.
412
00:19:49,465 --> 00:19:52,366
Hey body...not so much.
413
00:19:52,368 --> 00:19:55,236
Yeah, so it's gonna take
at least another week.
414
00:19:55,238 --> 00:19:56,670
A week?
415
00:19:56,672 --> 00:20:01,008
There goes the "no sex while Max
and Caroline are awake" rule.
416
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:06,413
That wasn't sex
you were having in front of us?
417
00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:09,283
Max, Caroline,
418
00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:11,218
I don't know how
I'll ever repay you
419
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,187
for getting Eunice
off my back.
420
00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:14,555
I do.
421
00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:18,759
Sophie and Oleg are staying
at your place for a week.
422
00:20:21,062 --> 00:20:26,233
I was thinking an extra baked
potato with your shift meal.
423
00:20:26,235 --> 00:20:27,668
Yeah, Han, um...
424
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:31,272
how much bouncing
can your bed take?
425
00:20:33,008 --> 00:20:35,376
You're killing me, Max.
426
00:20:35,378 --> 00:20:37,378
Yep, even in death,
427
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:39,546
you're my bitch.
428
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,318
[cash register dings]