1
00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:04,379
Listen up, everybody.
2
00:00:04,381 --> 00:00:06,014
Something strange is afoot.
3
00:00:06,016 --> 00:00:07,416
Don't be hard
on yourself, Han.
4
00:00:07,418 --> 00:00:10,285
You're taller than a foot.
5
00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:14,356
What's wrong? Somebody rub
your belly for luck again?
6
00:00:14,358 --> 00:00:16,491
No, I think I might
be losing my memory.
7
00:00:16,493 --> 00:00:18,627
According to Netflix,
last night I watched
8
00:00:18,629 --> 00:00:22,097
half the "Taken"s and
all the "Insidious"es-es.
9
00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:23,698
All of them!
10
00:00:25,101 --> 00:00:27,436
Relax. You probably
just sleep-watched them.
11
00:00:27,438 --> 00:00:29,171
And you probably also
sleep-ordered
12
00:00:29,173 --> 00:00:33,075
28 boxes of tampons
on Amazon.
13
00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:34,776
Max, you hacked into
my accounts?
14
00:00:34,778 --> 00:00:36,478
That's illegal!
15
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,548
And beyond what I thought you
were intellectually capable of!
16
00:00:40,983 --> 00:00:45,954
Not much of a hack when
the password is "Hanstoppable."
17
00:00:45,956 --> 00:00:48,056
That's a breach
of trust, girls.
18
00:00:48,058 --> 00:00:49,858
Did you order me
those shoes?
19
00:00:51,694 --> 00:00:54,663
Dammit! I should have gone
with "Han Golden Pond."
20
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:59,134
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
21
00:00:59,136 --> 00:01:00,669
[cash register bell dings]
22
00:01:00,671 --> 00:01:06,241
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
23
00:01:10,146 --> 00:01:11,279
[cell phone chimes]
24
00:01:11,281 --> 00:01:12,414
Oh, this is weird.
25
00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:13,748
There's a message
from Bernard,
26
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:14,950
my grandmother's butler.
27
00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:16,318
Why would he
be calling me?
28
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,487
Maybe he butler-dialed you.
29
00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:21,423
(Bernard)
Caroline, hello.
30
00:01:21,425 --> 00:01:23,959
I'm calling on behalf
of your grandmother.
31
00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:27,896
Wait, she abandons me after
four years with no explanation
32
00:01:27,898 --> 00:01:29,531
and now she reaches out?
33
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:30,332
Now?
[scoffs]
34
00:01:30,334 --> 00:01:32,400
There is no excuse for that.
35
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:34,236
(Bernard)
She's been in a coma.
36
00:01:35,605 --> 00:01:37,839
Okay, there's one excuse
for that.
37
00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:40,809
But she's awake now
and wants to see you.
38
00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:44,079
Max, she wants to see me.
I'm going to go call him.
39
00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:48,583
She didn't shun me,
she was just practically dead!
40
00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:51,686
Max, can I ask your opinion
about something?
41
00:01:51,688 --> 00:01:53,421
If Sophie and I
want to get pregnant,
42
00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:55,190
she needs to be
on drugs.
43
00:01:55,192 --> 00:01:57,459
Oh, to have sex with you?
I get that.
44
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,829
No, fertility drugs.
45
00:02:00,831 --> 00:02:05,500
I haven't paid this much for sex
since Orgy Cruise '08.
46
00:02:06,569 --> 00:02:09,137
So I'm going to ask Han
for a raise.
47
00:02:09,139 --> 00:02:11,006
What do you think?
48
00:02:11,008 --> 00:02:13,508
I think that'll be
fun to watch.
49
00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:15,377
Well, I've come up
with a new password
50
00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:17,312
that none of you
will ever guess.
51
00:02:17,314 --> 00:02:18,847
Han-ah Montana?
52
00:02:21,951 --> 00:02:23,718
Dammit!
53
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,453
Lookin' good, Han.
54
00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:27,389
Have you been shopping
at Men's Wearhouse?
55
00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:30,225
'Cause I like
the way you look.
56
00:02:31,427 --> 00:02:35,030
You know I exclusively
shop at T.J. Maxx.
57
00:02:35,032 --> 00:02:37,899
They've been helping me spring
into summer for years.
58
00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,603
Hey, everybody!
59
00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:46,374
Oleg, what happened?
60
00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:49,411
Did you ask that little
Korean girl for a raise?
61
00:02:52,481 --> 00:02:55,250
Max, my grandmother wants me
to come and see her tomorrow!
62
00:02:55,252 --> 00:02:56,718
This is so exciting.
63
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,156
Someone in my family is alive
and not in federal prison.
64
00:03:01,158 --> 00:03:02,557
That is exciting.
65
00:03:02,559 --> 00:03:03,758
How much money do you
think we're getting?
66
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,793
She's rich, right?
67
00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:08,430
I can't believe all
this time she was in a coma.
68
00:03:08,432 --> 00:03:10,298
I can't believe
you knew someone in a coma
69
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:12,601
and I didn't get to
draw a mustache on them.
70
00:03:17,873 --> 00:03:19,507
Hello, Caroline.
71
00:03:19,509 --> 00:03:21,943
Your grandmother's
place is fancy.
72
00:03:21,945 --> 00:03:23,311
I'm just gonna say it.
73
00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:25,914
I don't think anybody
has ever peed in there.
74
00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:27,983
(Caroline)
Bernard!
75
00:03:27,985 --> 00:03:29,618
You haven't aged at all.
76
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:30,852
Thank you.
77
00:03:30,854 --> 00:03:33,888
She hasn't been awake
to guard her creams.
78
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:38,159
Oh, this brings back
so many childhood memories.
79
00:03:38,161 --> 00:03:42,063
Right here is where we had
our 14-foot Christmas tree.
80
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:46,534
And then right here is where
she'd give me her yearly hug.
81
00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:50,405
Well, Caroline, have you
bounced back from the scandal?
82
00:03:50,407 --> 00:03:52,574
If you count working at a diner,
sleeping in a wall,
83
00:03:52,576 --> 00:03:55,944
and clothes shopping at CVS,
then she's real bouncy.
84
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,782
And is this
your same-sex partner?
85
00:04:00,784 --> 00:04:04,019
I will be if that
gets me in the will.
86
00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:06,454
Bernard, this is Max.
She's my roommate.
87
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:10,992
Yes, that's what we called them
back in the day.
88
00:04:10,994 --> 00:04:12,193
[bell rings]
89
00:04:12,195 --> 00:04:15,397
Oh, she's found the bell.
90
00:04:15,399 --> 00:04:16,898
Lucky me.
91
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,900
But that was just
a single dingle.
92
00:04:18,902 --> 00:04:20,435
A warning dingle.
93
00:04:20,437 --> 00:04:22,671
[bell rings]
94
00:04:22,673 --> 00:04:25,707
Double dingle.
Mayday.
95
00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:31,379
Grammy Astrid, it's Caroline!
96
00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:36,318
I know, darling.
I'm old, not blind.
97
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,753
I've missed you so much.
98
00:04:40,356 --> 00:04:44,025
Careful.
Don't get her overexcited.
99
00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:47,929
Crack a window.
Smells like Ass-trid in here.
100
00:04:47,931 --> 00:04:50,765
I suppose I should
conserve my energy
101
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:53,501
for the luncheon
you're going to throw me.
102
00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:54,736
What luncheon now?
103
00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:55,804
The one you're
going to throw
104
00:04:55,806 --> 00:04:57,205
to re-introduce
her to society,
105
00:04:57,207 --> 00:04:58,840
a sort of
coming out party.
106
00:04:58,842 --> 00:05:00,408
Isn't that more
your turf?
107
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:04,279
Grammy, I'd be happy
to throw you a luncheon
108
00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:05,447
but I can't afford--
109
00:05:05,449 --> 00:05:07,582
Gah!
[clears throat]
110
00:05:07,584 --> 00:05:10,485
Sorry. Caroline,
never mind all that.
111
00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:12,587
Introductions
are in order.
112
00:05:12,589 --> 00:05:16,124
Oh, Grammy.
This is my friend, Max.
113
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:19,561
Hey, uh, I guess,
welcome back.
114
00:05:19,563 --> 00:05:22,364
You haven't changed
a bit, Caroline.
115
00:05:22,366 --> 00:05:25,033
Always making friends
with the help.
116
00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:29,070
Maria, was it?
117
00:05:29,072 --> 00:05:33,375
I'll take a tall glass
of agua, por favor.
118
00:05:34,510 --> 00:05:37,812
Hoping there's
a Maria behind me.
119
00:05:37,814 --> 00:05:40,281
Caroline,
how have you been?
120
00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:42,751
Are you running
Wall Street yet?
121
00:05:42,753 --> 00:05:47,655
No, but I did cut my hair,
which was scary but rewarding.
122
00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:52,026
Grammy, a lot has changed
since I lost all my--
123
00:05:52,028 --> 00:05:54,262
Gah!
124
00:05:54,264 --> 00:05:56,598
Seriously, dude,
get an x-ray.
125
00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,101
Outside. Now.
126
00:06:01,804 --> 00:06:05,140
And still waiting
on that agua, Maria.
127
00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:08,610
Ay, yi yi.
128
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:17,719
Okay, Bernard,
what's with the "gahs"?
129
00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:19,421
You interrupted what
I was saying so often,
130
00:06:19,423 --> 00:06:21,990
it's like we're
a married couple.
131
00:06:21,992 --> 00:06:23,158
I was trying to stop you
132
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,293
from mentioning
your father's scandal.
133
00:06:25,295 --> 00:06:28,930
Oh, I thought that's just
how British people fart.
134
00:06:28,932 --> 00:06:31,866
Your grandmother has
no memory of what happened.
135
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:33,668
When I attempted to tell
her the bad news,
136
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:35,670
she had a stroke
and slipped into a coma.
137
00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:37,539
I said, "Your son
might be in some trouble,"
138
00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:39,674
and that was it;
she was out.
139
00:06:39,676 --> 00:06:43,378
She doesn't know
I lost all my money?
140
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,146
I know.
It's terrible.
141
00:06:45,148 --> 00:06:49,050
And what's worse is you have
to tell her she's lost all hers.
142
00:06:49,052 --> 00:06:50,084
She's broke?
143
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:52,554
Then why did I get her
that water?
144
00:06:57,326 --> 00:06:59,594
Hey, girls.
Buckle up.
145
00:06:59,596 --> 00:07:02,764
Oleg's gonna ask Han
for a raise again.
146
00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:06,134
Hot stuff,
coming through.
147
00:07:06,136 --> 00:07:10,772
Oh look, it's Chef
Boy-Are-You-Gross.
148
00:07:10,774 --> 00:07:12,707
Nice hat, right?
149
00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:15,310
He wears it in the bedroom
when we role-play.
150
00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:17,345
I'm the fussy customer,
151
00:07:17,347 --> 00:07:21,316
and he slathers butter
on my biscuit.
152
00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:23,151
This isn't the whole costume.
153
00:07:23,153 --> 00:07:27,055
I also wear a drumstick
paper frill around my penis.
154
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,192
Boner appétit.
155
00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:33,528
Oh, here comes Han.
156
00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:34,762
It's showtime, baby.
157
00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:36,431
Well, I have a new password
158
00:07:36,433 --> 00:07:38,433
that no one will ever get.
159
00:07:38,435 --> 00:07:40,435
"Straight Outta
Compt-han"?
160
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,672
Dammit!
161
00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:50,645
Mmm!
This food is so good.
162
00:07:50,647 --> 00:07:55,617
My compliments to the man
who hired the chef.
163
00:07:55,619 --> 00:07:58,686
Oleg, you're not getting a raise
just because Sophie can act
164
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:02,657
like your food is yummy
in her tummy.
165
00:08:02,659 --> 00:08:05,560
Would you change your mind if
I did it in a different accent?
166
00:08:05,562 --> 00:08:09,130
I used to act in Poland.
I can do a whole bunch.
167
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:14,369
[Southern accent]
Mmm! My word.
168
00:08:14,371 --> 00:08:18,239
I just love this
tasty tortellini.
169
00:08:21,577 --> 00:08:23,511
Mm-hmm!
170
00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:36,357
Thank you for
tonight's nightmare.
171
00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:42,297
Uh, table for one?
172
00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:45,567
Not for this one, thank you.
173
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:47,602
Bernard, hi.
What are you doing here?
174
00:08:47,604 --> 00:08:49,537
I could ask the same
of you and follow up
175
00:08:49,539 --> 00:08:52,941
with a series of questions
about that hideous uniform.
176
00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:55,143
Looks like mustard
and ketchup had a fight
177
00:08:55,145 --> 00:08:57,211
and everyone lost.
178
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:01,716
What up, B-nard?
You look even paler here.
179
00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:04,819
And you look perfect here.
180
00:09:06,555 --> 00:09:08,289
Now, something to wear
for tomorrow's luncheon.
181
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:11,059
One of your grandmother's
Chanel suits.
182
00:09:11,061 --> 00:09:12,527
Here's her guest list.
183
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:15,463
I'm afraid only
one guest RSVP'd "yes."
184
00:09:15,465 --> 00:09:19,267
All the rest of her
friends RSVP'd "dead."
185
00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:20,868
Bernard, I really do wish
I could give
186
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:23,071
my Grammy what she wants,
but I don't have the money
187
00:09:23,073 --> 00:09:24,639
for a real fancy luncheon.
188
00:09:24,641 --> 00:09:27,408
Or even real milk,
for that matter.
189
00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,611
We drink "milk drink."
190
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,182
I don't think she can take
much more disappointment.
191
00:09:34,184 --> 00:09:35,617
This morning I had to
tell her all about
192
00:09:35,619 --> 00:09:38,453
her favorite athlete,
Bruce Jenner.
193
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,426
This is so sad.
194
00:09:45,428 --> 00:09:46,961
Grammy's whole world is gone
195
00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:48,696
and she has no idea.
196
00:09:48,698 --> 00:09:51,666
Max, I have to give her
the one thing that she wants.
197
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:55,036
A major rollback
on civil rights?
198
00:09:55,038 --> 00:09:56,437
No, the luncheon.
199
00:09:56,439 --> 00:09:58,239
She deserves one last hurrah
200
00:09:58,241 --> 00:10:00,208
before I tell her
she's lost everything.
201
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,476
I wish someone
had done that for me
202
00:10:01,478 --> 00:10:03,411
before my life
came crashing down.
203
00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:05,246
Okay, I'll help you.
204
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:07,749
I mean, Maria will,
if she can find a babysitter.
205
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,596
You are the only person
I'll wear this for.
206
00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:24,365
You know, without
the $300 up front.
207
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,902
Thank God Sophie
had that maid outfit.
208
00:10:27,904 --> 00:10:29,704
I think this is gonna work.
209
00:10:33,108 --> 00:10:36,277
As long as you don't
turn around.
210
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:38,279
(Astrid)
Caroline, is that you?
211
00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:39,681
Oh, she's coming.
Quick.
212
00:10:39,683 --> 00:10:41,949
Behind the screen.
Put the suit on over that.
213
00:10:41,951 --> 00:10:45,319
You want me to change into a
Chanel suit behind this screen?
214
00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:47,989
Oh, there's room.
I've done it numerous times.
215
00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:51,392
Oh, did the rest of
our staff arrive yet?
216
00:10:51,394 --> 00:10:53,461
Yes, if you can call them that.
217
00:10:53,463 --> 00:10:55,329
Where did you find them anyway?
218
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:57,965
Um, around.
219
00:10:57,967 --> 00:11:01,569
Just push me into the room!
220
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,208
I'm doing
the best I can!
221
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:10,244
These pants are
five sizes too big!
222
00:11:10,246 --> 00:11:14,649
Bernard, next time,
don't hire a child butler.
223
00:11:14,651 --> 00:11:19,220
And you, don't they have
wheelchairs in China?
224
00:11:19,222 --> 00:11:21,089
I'm from Korea!
225
00:11:21,091 --> 00:11:23,591
I don't think so.
226
00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:28,563
Tell Caroline she owes me.
227
00:11:28,565 --> 00:11:32,366
Who knows what STD I'm catching
from Oleg's butler costume?
228
00:11:33,769 --> 00:11:35,636
And why does
he even have this?
229
00:11:35,638 --> 00:11:39,574
It's from when they play
"Going Downtown Abbey."
230
00:11:39,576 --> 00:11:43,311
Maria, I need help
with my hair.
231
00:11:43,313 --> 00:11:45,446
See what you can do.
232
00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:49,550
Um, no, I'm not
really good at that.
233
00:11:49,552 --> 00:11:51,953
Maria, just do it.
Go.
234
00:11:54,723 --> 00:11:56,557
Okay.
235
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,460
You get one of those,
and that was it.
236
00:12:01,063 --> 00:12:05,666
Oh, there's my girl.
You look wonderful.
237
00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:09,137
I forgot how good Chanel
feels against my skin.
238
00:12:09,139 --> 00:12:10,605
It's like coming home,
239
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:13,508
but the house
is made of silk and hope.
240
00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:15,710
How's this?
A little too Princess Leia?
241
00:12:18,514 --> 00:12:22,416
On top!
I like it up on top.
242
00:12:22,418 --> 00:12:23,985
Whoa!
243
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,794
Whoa, Grammy.
Keep it PG.
244
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:34,662
[elevator dings]
245
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,536
Where am I?
246
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:45,540
Oh, it's Gertrude Goolsby.
247
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:48,042
Your first and only
guest has arrived.
248
00:12:48,044 --> 00:12:50,311
Astrid! Oh!
249
00:12:50,313 --> 00:12:52,046
Oh, have to--oh.
250
00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:55,516
Sneaks up on you.
251
00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:00,188
Good luck with all this.
252
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:04,025
I'll be in the kitchen,
studying the Chipotle menu.
253
00:13:04,027 --> 00:13:05,760
For my next job.
254
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:09,964
Don't you look smashing, Astrid.
255
00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:12,900
I'm assuming.
I can't see anymore.
256
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:15,870
Well, I bet
you and Grammy have
257
00:13:15,872 --> 00:13:18,940
a lot of fun stuff
to catch up on.
258
00:13:18,942 --> 00:13:20,508
How is Gordon?
259
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,443
He has face cancer.
260
00:13:24,746 --> 00:13:27,882
Or the weather
is also a subject.
261
00:13:27,884 --> 00:13:30,718
We'd like the first course,
pronto.
262
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,721
Maria!
Look alive.
263
00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:36,257
You're one to talk.
264
00:13:36,259 --> 00:13:39,627
[bell dinging]
265
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:42,029
And she gets one of those
and that was it.
266
00:13:43,665 --> 00:13:46,667
Dear, may I ask you
a question?
267
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,470
Where am I?
268
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,508
Oh, and where
is our sommelier?
269
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:57,545
At your service.
270
00:13:59,348 --> 00:14:01,015
Some wine?
271
00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:05,419
Um...
272
00:14:05,421 --> 00:14:09,090
My bad.
This one's empty.
273
00:14:09,092 --> 00:14:11,192
I got bored.
274
00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:16,030
And what about you, ma'am?
275
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,164
White, red,
276
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:19,934
or maybe you prefer
a chocolate brown?
277
00:14:22,371 --> 00:14:24,105
I must be in New Orleans.
278
00:14:26,341 --> 00:14:27,942
Here we go.
279
00:14:27,944 --> 00:14:31,312
It's from
the Bordeaux region.
280
00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:34,081
More like the Costco region.
281
00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:38,119
Maria!
282
00:14:38,121 --> 00:14:40,321
That's me.
283
00:14:40,323 --> 00:14:45,026
Why are these forks
not laid out correctly?
284
00:14:45,028 --> 00:14:48,095
Maria, forks, now.
285
00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:49,363
Glad you like that outfit,
286
00:14:49,365 --> 00:14:52,800
'cause you're gonna
be buried in it.
287
00:14:52,802 --> 00:14:56,237
I think I'm gonna let this one
breathe in the kitchen.
288
00:14:58,907 --> 00:15:01,509
Caroline, I'd like
to meet the chef.
289
00:15:01,511 --> 00:15:04,912
Oh, of course.
Chef!
290
00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:07,048
Booyah!
291
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:08,716
I'm Chef Oleg.
292
00:15:08,718 --> 00:15:12,386
Gordon Ramsay once put
me in a headlock.
293
00:15:12,388 --> 00:15:17,625
Please enjoy the first course
of my first course:
294
00:15:17,627 --> 00:15:19,961
a tasty tortellini.
295
00:15:21,496 --> 00:15:26,200
Caroline, this sauce
is delicious!
296
00:15:26,202 --> 00:15:28,135
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
297
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:30,037
This is the kind of luncheon
that makes you feel
298
00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:34,208
like you can handle
anything that comes along.
299
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:36,577
Pity there aren't
more guests to enjoy it.
300
00:15:36,579 --> 00:15:38,546
[elevator dings]
301
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:40,314
[posh accent]
Darling!
302
00:15:48,023 --> 00:15:51,625
Well, I hope I'm not late
for the luncheon!
303
00:15:56,598 --> 00:15:58,733
Mmm!
304
00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,235
[posh accent]
This crème brûlée
is just divine!
305
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:06,207
Don't mind
if I don't mind.
306
00:16:09,044 --> 00:16:13,614
[normal voice]
Uh, excuse me.
I have to tinkle.
307
00:16:13,616 --> 00:16:16,283
Where's your john?
308
00:16:16,285 --> 00:16:18,152
Oh, I forgot!
309
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:19,153
Yes, um...
310
00:16:19,155 --> 00:16:22,223
[posh accent]
Pardon me, yes.
311
00:16:22,225 --> 00:16:25,626
Could you direct me to your...
312
00:16:25,628 --> 00:16:27,328
Jonathan?
313
00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,437
Astrid, darling,
314
00:16:36,439 --> 00:16:39,874
I wasn't sure what to expect
from one of your lunches,
315
00:16:39,876 --> 00:16:41,976
you know, since the scandal,
316
00:16:41,978 --> 00:16:43,611
since you lost all of your--
317
00:16:43,613 --> 00:16:45,246
Gah!
318
00:16:46,748 --> 00:16:48,115
I mean, uh...
319
00:16:48,117 --> 00:16:50,551
Lunch is over.
Gertrude is leaving.
320
00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:52,853
Scandal? What scandal?
321
00:16:52,855 --> 00:16:54,422
Oh, you know.
322
00:16:54,424 --> 00:16:56,824
The horror of
you not having any more--
323
00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:58,959
Mayday!
Double dingle!
324
00:16:58,961 --> 00:17:00,494
Maria, do something.
325
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:02,029
(Gertrude)
Oh.
326
00:17:02,031 --> 00:17:04,131
So you mean she doesn't
want to talk about the fact
327
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:05,666
that she's lost all her mon--
328
00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:06,901
[glass shatters]
329
00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:11,105
Oh, it's crystal
that broke.
330
00:17:11,107 --> 00:17:13,474
I thought it was
one of Astrid's bones.
331
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:17,211
I'll replace it.
I mean, I can't,
332
00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:20,047
but it's the right thing
to say right now.
333
00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:23,217
Maria,
that's my good crystal.
334
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:26,987
And it's not replaceable,
unlike you.
335
00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:29,256
- Now go!
- Fine.
336
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:33,060
I'll go.
To wherever Maria lives.
337
00:17:35,564 --> 00:17:36,997
But just know your granddaughter
338
00:17:36,999 --> 00:17:39,934
worked really hard
to make this lunch all nice.
339
00:17:39,936 --> 00:17:41,469
No, you don't
have to go.
340
00:17:41,471 --> 00:17:43,471
Oh, can I go?
341
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:47,808
Maybe I should go too.
342
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:50,845
Would anyone buy
that I had plans?
343
00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:52,413
No one is going.
344
00:17:52,415 --> 00:17:54,448
I'm just gonna
pick up the broken crystal
345
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:58,119
and we'll just continue to
have the best luncheon ever.
346
00:17:58,121 --> 00:18:00,287
Caroline!
Let the help do that.
347
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:02,756
Get up off of that floor!
348
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,525
You are not one of them.
349
00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:10,331
Actually, yes, I am.
350
00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:12,967
Grammy, you may have
been in a coma,
351
00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:16,036
but I feel like it's me
that just woke up.
352
00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:17,338
For the past five years,
353
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:20,975
I have been really missing
all of this,
354
00:18:20,977 --> 00:18:23,944
but it's not good crystal
that makes a life.
355
00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:28,015
It's good people.
People like them.
356
00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:31,519
And they are not "the help,"
357
00:18:31,521 --> 00:18:34,188
but they did
come here to help me.
358
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:35,489
'Cause you and I
might be related,
359
00:18:35,491 --> 00:18:39,226
but these people
are my family now.
360
00:18:39,228 --> 00:18:42,630
And also, I should tell you,
361
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:45,533
I don't work on Wall Street.
362
00:18:45,535 --> 00:18:49,103
I work in Brooklyn,
in a diner.
363
00:18:49,105 --> 00:18:52,072
See?
I'm a waitress.
364
00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:53,941
That's debatable.
365
00:18:58,213 --> 00:19:00,681
I don't understand.
366
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:05,853
You're a Channing.
How could you be a waitress?
367
00:19:05,855 --> 00:19:08,489
Because she lost all her money
368
00:19:08,491 --> 00:19:12,326
when you lost all
your money.
369
00:19:12,328 --> 00:19:14,595
[heart monitor beats faster]
370
00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:17,531
- Caroline, what is she saying?
- Nothing, she's saying nothing.
371
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,533
I'm saying,
372
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,936
you're poor.
373
00:19:21,938 --> 00:19:23,437
[heart monitor beats increase]
374
00:19:23,439 --> 00:19:25,739
[gasping]
375
00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:29,176
[heart monitor flatlines]
376
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:31,378
Oh, I leave for two minutes
377
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,481
and the party really
goes downhill!
378
00:19:43,425 --> 00:19:46,026
I'm sorry again about
your grandma, darlin'.
379
00:19:46,028 --> 00:19:47,361
Thanks, Earl.
380
00:19:47,363 --> 00:19:49,530
Well, she did die
doing what she loved:
381
00:19:49,532 --> 00:19:51,765
being rich and
yelling at the help.
382
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:56,036
[crying]
383
00:19:56,038 --> 00:20:00,341
I'm gonna miss her so much!
384
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:03,911
Sophie, you knew her
for three courses.
385
00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:08,282
I know; I didn't win that Polish
daytime Emmy for nothing!
386
00:20:10,652 --> 00:20:13,053
You know, Caroline,
you did the right thing
387
00:20:13,055 --> 00:20:14,221
throwing that luncheon.
388
00:20:14,223 --> 00:20:15,656
And I pulled a glute
389
00:20:15,658 --> 00:20:19,460
pushing your lovely
racist grandmother around.
390
00:20:19,462 --> 00:20:22,663
I really appreciate you guys
helping me with the luncheon.
391
00:20:22,665 --> 00:20:26,333
And, Oleg, I tried the food,
and it wasn't gross.
392
00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:30,271
You hear that, Han?
Wasn't. Gross.
393
00:20:31,539 --> 00:20:33,540
After being a servant
for a few hours,
394
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:36,043
I get how much you all
have to put up with.
395
00:20:36,045 --> 00:20:39,179
So, I'm giving
you all a raise!
396
00:20:39,181 --> 00:20:41,882
Thank you so much, Han!
397
00:20:41,884 --> 00:20:43,117
Everyone?
398
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,220
They don't need
drug money for a baby.
399
00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:49,623
No, but we need drug money
for a 27-year-old woman.