1 00:00:01,577 --> 00:00:04,312 Okay, max, I figured out our new schedule. 2 00:00:04,314 --> 00:00:05,814 And I figured out the cheap toothpaste 3 00:00:05,816 --> 00:00:08,984 We've been using is really diaper cream. 4 00:00:08,986 --> 00:00:11,853 On the plus side, that rash cleared up on my gums. 5 00:00:11,855 --> 00:00:14,156 We'll do our diner shift from 6:00 till 2:00, 6 00:00:14,158 --> 00:00:16,024 Then sell cupcakes here from 2:00 to 4:00, 7 00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:18,160 Make the cupcakes in the morning from 7:00 to 11:00, 8 00:00:18,162 --> 00:00:19,728 And then pastry school from 12:00 to 4:00. 9 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:22,330 Forget anything? Just poopin' and sleepin'. 10 00:00:22,332 --> 00:00:25,000 Now, I have to go rewrite the schedule. 11 00:00:25,002 --> 00:00:28,103 Let's go, max, you have a huge, huge day tomorrow. 12 00:00:28,105 --> 00:00:29,404 First day of pastry school. 13 00:00:29,406 --> 00:00:31,106 Stop saying it's huge. 14 00:00:31,108 --> 00:00:32,541 Whenever I think something's gonna be huge, 15 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,877 It just turns out to be all balls. 16 00:00:35,879 --> 00:00:38,046 (peter bjorn and john) ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 17 00:00:38,048 --> 00:00:39,614 [cash register bell dings] 18 00:00:39,616 --> 00:00:43,685 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 19 00:00:49,525 --> 00:00:51,293 I splurged and had my blouse cleaned. 20 00:00:51,295 --> 00:00:54,196 Dry cleaning bags remind me of when I had money. 21 00:00:54,198 --> 00:00:55,530 Really? They remind me 22 00:00:55,532 --> 00:00:58,567 Of when my mother tried to suffocate me. 23 00:00:58,569 --> 00:01:00,869 Allegedly. Let's go. 24 00:01:00,871 --> 00:01:02,304 Wait, wait. Max, you can't go yet. 25 00:01:02,306 --> 00:01:04,139 I need you to stay and help with something. 26 00:01:04,141 --> 00:01:06,241 Han, I told you-- it's bend and wipe, 27 00:01:06,243 --> 00:01:08,743 Then up come your big boy pants. 28 00:01:08,745 --> 00:01:10,078 Yeah, han's right. You can't go. 29 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,547 Stay here a few more minutes. 30 00:01:12,549 --> 00:01:14,116 Why? Oh. 31 00:01:14,118 --> 00:01:16,885 Are we having an intervention for max? 32 00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:18,620 Hey, everybody. 33 00:01:18,622 --> 00:01:20,455 Oh, I hope I'm not late for max's 34 00:01:20,457 --> 00:01:23,825 First day of school surprise party. 35 00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:26,161 Sophie, we hadn't surprised her yet. 36 00:01:26,163 --> 00:01:28,163 Oh, but she's right there. 37 00:01:28,165 --> 00:01:31,566 You just blew it, han. 38 00:01:31,568 --> 00:01:33,635 Aw, a surprise party. 39 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:36,071 Isn't this sweet, max? I don't trust it. 40 00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:37,772 Last time oleg yelled "surprise" at me, 41 00:01:37,774 --> 00:01:41,776 His penis was on a hot dog bun. 42 00:01:41,778 --> 00:01:44,079 One meat lover's pizza. 43 00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:47,782 And one meat lover. 44 00:01:47,784 --> 00:01:49,684 Max, come on. Get it while it's hot. 45 00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:52,187 You're opening that box. 46 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:53,788 Hm, who's got a ten 47 00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:56,658 To tip the cute pizza delivery guy? 48 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,161 Sophie, this is luis, the day waiter. 49 00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:02,097 Oh, you're sophie, 50 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:04,132 Oleg's ex. 51 00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:06,535 Sister, I know all about you. 52 00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,170 Oh, do you? 53 00:02:08,172 --> 00:02:11,106 Do you know all about me? 54 00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:13,775 I'm his good friend. 55 00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:16,211 You know, I'm having trouble hearing your accent. 56 00:02:16,213 --> 00:02:20,115 Did you say "good friend" or "girlfriend?" 57 00:02:20,117 --> 00:02:22,617 Please, mami. I wish. 58 00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:24,186 I like the entertainment. 59 00:02:24,188 --> 00:02:25,720 It's better than the magician 60 00:02:25,722 --> 00:02:27,189 At my friend stephanie's 16th birthday 61 00:02:27,191 --> 00:02:31,026 That made her virginity disappear. 62 00:02:31,028 --> 00:02:32,994 Max, we're all so proud of you. 63 00:02:32,996 --> 00:02:35,297 Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. 64 00:02:35,299 --> 00:02:38,700 Aw, crap. I gotta do this again? 65 00:02:38,702 --> 00:02:40,001 All right, but this time, I'm not seeing 66 00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:41,703 Trouble with the curve. 67 00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:43,905 You are about to do something very big. 68 00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:46,041 Yes, she is. Such a big step. 69 00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:47,542 Big step for both of us, 70 00:02:47,544 --> 00:02:49,211 'cause I'll be using my business acumen 71 00:02:49,213 --> 00:02:51,146 Working in the office to help pay the tuition. 72 00:02:51,148 --> 00:02:54,349 Shh. I'm talking about max. 73 00:02:54,351 --> 00:02:56,184 So we all chipped in to get you something 74 00:02:56,186 --> 00:02:57,219 For your first day of school. 75 00:02:57,221 --> 00:02:58,687 It's my first day too. 76 00:02:58,689 --> 00:03:00,188 Caroline, please, I can't hear han 77 00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:02,390 Talking about max, okay? 78 00:03:02,392 --> 00:03:04,326 Here you go, darling, 79 00:03:04,328 --> 00:03:07,596 A book bag for school. 80 00:03:07,598 --> 00:03:09,264 So what, then? Is my surprise party 81 00:03:09,266 --> 00:03:10,699 After this one? 82 00:03:10,701 --> 00:03:12,701 What is happening? 83 00:03:12,703 --> 00:03:15,337 People doing nice things for me and smiling? 84 00:03:15,339 --> 00:03:19,207 Am I transferring foster homes again? 85 00:03:19,209 --> 00:03:21,042 And there's more stuff inside. 86 00:03:21,044 --> 00:03:23,945 That was supposed to be a surprise too. 87 00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:27,916 Oh. Surprise! 88 00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,551 Max, open it. Look inside. 89 00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:32,287 Yeah, max, see what's inside for your big day. 90 00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:35,457 Big day for max. Big day for me as well. 91 00:03:35,459 --> 00:03:37,259 A metrocard? No way. 92 00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:39,461 From me. Unlimited rides. 93 00:03:39,463 --> 00:03:41,696 Oh. Unlimited rides? 94 00:03:41,698 --> 00:03:45,500 Is that what your tramp stamp says? 95 00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:52,974 I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one. 96 00:03:52,976 --> 00:03:56,211 What's this? Han's house? 97 00:03:58,314 --> 00:04:01,416 A simple "thank you" would suffice. 98 00:04:01,418 --> 00:04:03,752 Thank you for your house, han. 99 00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:06,788 It's a pencil case, and I love it. 100 00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:08,423 And I was sitting here, thinking how you were 101 00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:10,058 All ignoring my part of the big day. 102 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,893 And then, you give me this pencil case 103 00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:14,896 To use in the office and prove me wrong. 104 00:04:14,898 --> 00:04:16,431 That's for max. 105 00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:20,001 What the hell is wrong with you people? 106 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:21,403 Max doesn't even need pencils. 107 00:04:21,405 --> 00:04:23,438 She'll be baking. 108 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,407 (earl) well, she'll be baked. 109 00:04:25,409 --> 00:04:27,275 Take a look. 110 00:04:27,277 --> 00:04:30,278 (max) [gasps] joints. 111 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,013 Earl, that's so sweet. 112 00:04:32,015 --> 00:04:35,250 These should last me till recess. 113 00:04:35,252 --> 00:04:38,420 Wait, where's the chef's coat sophie had monogrammed? 114 00:04:38,422 --> 00:04:41,256 Han, that was supposed to be a surprise. 115 00:04:41,258 --> 00:04:43,658 Oh, I know. Karma's a bitch. 116 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,327 Oh, well. 117 00:04:45,329 --> 00:04:47,262 Look. 118 00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,497 (max) [gasps] my name's on this. 119 00:04:49,499 --> 00:04:50,999 [laughs] the only thing my name's 120 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:55,270 Ever been on before is a urine sample. 121 00:04:55,272 --> 00:04:56,671 Thank you, everyone. 122 00:04:56,673 --> 00:05:00,508 So there is nothing in that bag for me? 123 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:02,377 Nothing? Wow. 124 00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:06,348 I'd even take oleg's penis in a hot dog bun right now. 125 00:05:08,951 --> 00:05:13,388 I'll be right back. 126 00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:16,358 Getting on. Please move. 127 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,325 Getting on. Please move. 128 00:05:17,327 --> 00:05:18,827 Getting on! Please move! 129 00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:19,828 On! Move! 130 00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:23,498 On! On! Move! Move! 131 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,500 I love the subway. 132 00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:27,235 It's the perfect place to get out aggression. 133 00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:29,637 I just punched someone in the kidney. 134 00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:31,039 It was me. 135 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,307 I know. 136 00:05:32,309 --> 00:05:34,542 Oh, oh, bad smell, 137 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:37,412 Like someone hooked up with a falafel. 138 00:05:37,414 --> 00:05:39,314 It was me. I know. 139 00:05:39,316 --> 00:05:40,982 Max. Sorry. 140 00:05:40,984 --> 00:05:44,319 Subways, planes, and mosh pits, I let it ride. 141 00:05:44,321 --> 00:05:45,653 [sighs] I love the smell 142 00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,355 Of this fresh, dry-cleaned blouse. 143 00:05:47,357 --> 00:05:48,823 [sighs] I am so excited 144 00:05:48,825 --> 00:05:50,225 To be out of that waitress uniform, 145 00:05:50,227 --> 00:05:52,060 And back in my chic business clothes, 146 00:05:52,062 --> 00:05:53,762 And, you know, going to my office, 147 00:05:53,764 --> 00:05:55,263 Where I'll probably save the day 148 00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:57,198 Using some of my wharton magic. 149 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,835 You know, I think I like you better without hope. 150 00:06:00,837 --> 00:06:03,104 Max, you know this school is expensive, right? 151 00:06:03,106 --> 00:06:05,340 You're going in with a good attitude, right? 152 00:06:05,342 --> 00:06:08,176 No, that's what earl's pencils are for. 153 00:06:08,178 --> 00:06:09,844 Don't worry, I'll do my best. 154 00:06:09,846 --> 00:06:11,413 I mean, look, I have a book bag. 155 00:06:11,415 --> 00:06:13,281 The only thing my mother ever sent me to school with 156 00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:15,683 Was a note that said "check me for lice." 157 00:06:15,685 --> 00:06:18,553 It was so sweet of everyone to give you that, 158 00:06:18,555 --> 00:06:21,723 Even though I didn't sleep all night about it. 159 00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:23,258 And it looks kind of expensive. 160 00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:24,426 Check for a designer label. 161 00:06:24,428 --> 00:06:25,894 Why? It's the thought that counts. 162 00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:28,363 Since when? 163 00:06:28,365 --> 00:06:29,431 Let me see it. 164 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:30,632 Second avenue station. 165 00:06:30,634 --> 00:06:32,734 This is second avenue. 166 00:06:32,736 --> 00:06:34,068 (caroline) [gasps] no, no, no, max! 167 00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:35,937 No, he got the book bag. Good, max, good. 168 00:06:35,939 --> 00:06:37,372 Don't let go. [sigh s ] 169 00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:38,473 What if the train starts to leave 170 00:06:38,475 --> 00:06:39,774 And my arms pop off? 171 00:06:39,776 --> 00:06:41,476 How will I go to pastry school? 172 00:06:41,478 --> 00:06:43,144 I'll be one of those people decorating cookies 173 00:06:43,146 --> 00:06:44,746 With a bag in their mouth. 174 00:06:44,748 --> 00:06:46,281 You are the devil. 175 00:06:46,283 --> 00:06:47,415 The devil. 176 00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,150 You have nothing. 177 00:06:49,152 --> 00:06:52,987 Pull, max, pull! Pull it from the devil! 178 00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:55,890 Can't. The devil works out. 179 00:06:55,892 --> 00:06:56,891 (caroline) ooh! 180 00:06:56,893 --> 00:06:58,893 [both gasp] 181 00:06:58,895 --> 00:07:00,628 My bag. 182 00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:02,297 My blouse. 183 00:07:02,299 --> 00:07:05,533 My weed. 184 00:07:10,105 --> 00:07:11,973 Oh, great, look. Class has started. 185 00:07:11,975 --> 00:07:14,909 My new life already blows. 186 00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:16,511 Oh, look. There's chef gorgeous. 187 00:07:16,513 --> 00:07:17,779 I don't want him to see me like this. 188 00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:19,247 I'm gonna go to the restroom and see 189 00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:21,182 If cold water can get out any of the stain. 190 00:07:21,184 --> 00:07:24,486 Go, max. But I don't have my chef coat or book bag. 191 00:07:24,488 --> 00:07:25,987 I know I only had them for a couple of hours, 192 00:07:25,989 --> 00:07:27,322 But it was the best part of me. 193 00:07:27,324 --> 00:07:28,990 You'll do great. 194 00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:33,528 First, do me a favor. Check me for lice. 195 00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:35,663 This course is designed to introduce you 196 00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,799 To the skills and techniques required 197 00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:39,534 In the production of yeast bread, 198 00:07:39,536 --> 00:07:42,504 Short pastry doughs, custards, pate a choux, 199 00:07:42,506 --> 00:07:43,671 And cake batters. 200 00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,340 Chef max, you are late. 201 00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:49,310 Wait, are sure class doesn't start at 10:17? 202 00:07:49,312 --> 00:07:50,512 Sorry, I got robbed on the subway 203 00:07:50,514 --> 00:07:51,813 By some jerk. 204 00:07:51,815 --> 00:07:55,783 Hey, hey, hey, I'm right here. 205 00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:57,552 I ran out of options, and I didn't wanna 206 00:07:57,554 --> 00:08:00,955 Strip my way through pastry school. 207 00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:03,391 That's an option? 208 00:08:03,393 --> 00:08:05,393 All right, chefs. Let's focus. 209 00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:09,097 Did he say he wants to "foke us"? 210 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,140 Morning, bebe. 211 00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:20,408 Hi. Oh, my god. 212 00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:21,576 What happened to you? 213 00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:23,378 And I should tell you my doctor says 214 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:26,581 I'm not allowed to hear bad news for another month. 215 00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,483 I apologize for my appearance. 216 00:08:28,485 --> 00:08:29,751 We got robbed on the subway, 217 00:08:29,753 --> 00:08:31,553 And then someone hit me with hot coffee. 218 00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:33,388 Then, I went to wash cold water on the stain 219 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:34,722 And somehow wound up entering myself 220 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,692 In a wet t-shirt contest. 221 00:08:37,694 --> 00:08:41,362 Um, that's a lot of energy for me, 222 00:08:41,364 --> 00:08:43,698 So I'm just gonna need to sit here 223 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:47,535 For a second and be quiet. 224 00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:49,270 I know we're being quiet, which I'm all about, 225 00:08:49,272 --> 00:08:50,672 But cute dogs. 226 00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,173 Oh, thanks. They're cocker spaniels. 227 00:08:52,175 --> 00:08:53,575 I rescue them. 228 00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:55,076 You know, people rescue greyhounds 229 00:08:55,078 --> 00:08:56,678 And pit bulls, but everyone ignores 230 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,946 The cocker spaniel. 231 00:08:57,948 --> 00:08:59,547 They're like, "ew, eye goo. 232 00:08:59,549 --> 00:09:02,350 Shoot it." 233 00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:04,252 I have three cockers. 234 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,054 Do you have any pets? 235 00:09:06,056 --> 00:09:07,455 I have a horse, chestnut. 236 00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:10,258 He's a thoroughbred. 237 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:18,399 [sighs] well, what can I do first? 238 00:09:18,401 --> 00:09:19,767 [gasps] what's this? 239 00:09:19,769 --> 00:09:21,469 Why am I holding a juice menu? 240 00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:23,571 Every day, we get fresh-pressed juice 241 00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:24,973 For the students and the staff. 242 00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:26,140 What a treat. 243 00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:27,575 Fresh juice is such a scam 244 00:09:27,577 --> 00:09:28,943 Unless someone else is payin'. 245 00:09:28,945 --> 00:09:31,579 [laughs] I'll take the greens number three. 246 00:09:31,581 --> 00:09:32,580 Uh-huh, well, put it on the list 247 00:09:32,582 --> 00:09:34,716 When you get the other ones. 248 00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:36,751 Wait, I'm supposed to get the juice? 249 00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:40,955 Oh, boy, it's like I'm a bad news machine. 250 00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:42,991 Oh. Okay. 251 00:09:42,993 --> 00:09:46,561 Happy to do it. Surprised, but happy. 252 00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:48,596 Uh, maybe I could change 253 00:09:48,598 --> 00:09:50,231 Into one of those cute chef jackets. 254 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:53,001 Oh, chef nicholas only permits pastry chefs 255 00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,602 To wear these. 256 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:55,803 But I can't meet everyone on my first day 257 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,238 Looking like this. 258 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,406 I mean, it's already bad enough 259 00:09:58,408 --> 00:10:00,575 I'm the juice girl. 260 00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:02,310 I have some workout clothes you can wear. 261 00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:04,312 Don't worry. I haven't worn them yet. 262 00:10:04,314 --> 00:10:07,382 But I will someday. 263 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,354 Hi. Hi, everyone. 264 00:10:13,356 --> 00:10:14,822 I'm here to take the fresh juice orders 265 00:10:14,824 --> 00:10:17,191 And also to say this is not what I came to work in. 266 00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,760 [laughs] 267 00:10:18,762 --> 00:10:21,262 What I came to work in had less eyes. 268 00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:22,764 Caroline, welcome. 269 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:24,365 How is it going in the office so far? 270 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:28,369 So great, and so not what I came to work in. 271 00:10:28,371 --> 00:10:31,205 I'm usually wearing chanel, not le chien. 272 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:32,940 That's "dog" in french. 273 00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:36,778 Oh, 'cause it's "dork" in english. 274 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:40,648 Well, it is lovely to see both of your faces. 275 00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:42,784 Class, we start with the basics. 276 00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:43,985 No, no, no, you in the back-- 277 00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:45,820 Juice, miss? Care for a juice 278 00:10:45,822 --> 00:10:48,289 From someone who scored 1560 on her sats? 279 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:52,460 You can score more than 500? 280 00:10:52,462 --> 00:10:54,162 Why the hell are you wearing that? 281 00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:57,832 I didn't think your chest could get any sadder. 282 00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:58,900 It's bebe's. 283 00:10:58,902 --> 00:11:00,234 Max, taking juice orders 284 00:11:00,236 --> 00:11:01,669 Is not what I came here to do. 285 00:11:01,671 --> 00:11:04,706 I hear you. I'll have the ruby red. 286 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,040 I always keep the edge clean, 287 00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,308 So when I'm squeezing it, 288 00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:08,509 It's not gonna have cream 289 00:11:08,511 --> 00:11:11,646 Popping all over the place. 290 00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:14,649 Words to live by. [laughs] 291 00:11:14,651 --> 00:11:17,485 I have the opposite problem. 292 00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:21,522 Yo, my cream's poppin' right now. 293 00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:22,690 What are you doing? You told me 294 00:11:22,692 --> 00:11:24,492 You were gonna take school seriously. 295 00:11:24,494 --> 00:11:26,527 It's not me. That guy's a bad influence. 296 00:11:26,529 --> 00:11:27,662 Look at him. 297 00:11:27,664 --> 00:11:29,263 He looks like someone who sells drugs 298 00:11:29,265 --> 00:11:33,067 On sesame street. 299 00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:34,368 You're gonna get in trouble, 300 00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:35,737 And I am not wearing a cocker spaniel 301 00:11:35,739 --> 00:11:37,271 So you can get kicked out of class. 302 00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:38,372 Right. I hear you. 303 00:11:38,374 --> 00:11:40,908 Now, where's my juice? 304 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,745 (deke) hey, chef max. Check out my technique. 305 00:11:43,747 --> 00:11:46,748 [pastry bag farts] 306 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:48,750 Awesome gross sound bonus. 307 00:11:48,752 --> 00:11:50,518 [laughs] 308 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,754 Chef, if you find this so funny, 309 00:11:52,756 --> 00:11:55,089 Why don't you take a fiver? 310 00:11:55,091 --> 00:11:56,791 Isn't this how your saying goes? 311 00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,259 I don't have a saying, 312 00:11:58,261 --> 00:11:59,694 But if I did, it'd be more like 313 00:11:59,696 --> 00:12:02,764 "eatin' ain't cheatin'." 314 00:12:06,702 --> 00:12:08,803 Anyone else who finds something hilarious 315 00:12:08,805 --> 00:12:11,405 Can also go into the hall. 316 00:12:11,407 --> 00:12:13,407 Chef max? Nope, nothing 'ilarious. 317 00:12:13,409 --> 00:12:14,876 Teach on. 318 00:12:14,878 --> 00:12:16,911 Enough with the dirty jokes. 319 00:12:16,913 --> 00:12:20,915 We are all here to become master bakers. 320 00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:25,253 Master-baking is something I work really hard at it. 321 00:12:25,255 --> 00:12:29,991 To be a master baker-- I'll be in the hall. 322 00:12:34,062 --> 00:12:37,632 Hi, I'm deke. Did you say "freak?" 323 00:12:37,634 --> 00:12:39,300 Deke. Did you say "geek?" 324 00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:42,970 Deke, as in "big deke." 325 00:12:45,574 --> 00:12:49,911 Mine's bigger. [laughs] 326 00:12:49,913 --> 00:12:51,245 We should be lab partners. 327 00:12:51,247 --> 00:12:53,247 Come on. It'll be bitchin'. 328 00:12:53,249 --> 00:12:55,449 Max and deke, making cakes. 329 00:12:55,451 --> 00:12:58,252 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, with a special performance 330 00:12:58,254 --> 00:13:00,154 By creed. [mimics electric guitar] 331 00:13:00,156 --> 00:13:01,956 Okay, now stop, stop, stop. 332 00:13:01,958 --> 00:13:03,424 I am trying to be a good student, 333 00:13:03,426 --> 00:13:04,759 So you just stay away from me. 334 00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:06,794 You are a bad influence. 335 00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:08,362 And I know I nailed that speech 'cause kids at school 336 00:13:08,364 --> 00:13:09,964 Used to say it to me all the time. 337 00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:11,465 [watch beeps] 338 00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:12,834 Time to change your tampon? 339 00:13:12,836 --> 00:13:14,135 Yep. 340 00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:17,805 Day two. Serious flow. 341 00:13:17,807 --> 00:13:21,609 Killer fanny pack. Where's your tribal poncho? 342 00:13:21,611 --> 00:13:22,844 Ah, keep my needles in this. 343 00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:25,146 [gasps] you're a drug addict too? 344 00:13:25,148 --> 00:13:26,948 God. You are irresistible. 345 00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:28,649 [laughs] 346 00:13:28,651 --> 00:13:30,985 It's--it's insulin. I'm a diabetic. 347 00:13:30,987 --> 00:13:33,354 A diabetic pastry chef. 348 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:36,824 Wow, you're even more self-destructive than me. 349 00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:38,659 So diabetes, how is that? 350 00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:43,030 Disappointing. I put in for syphilis. 351 00:13:43,032 --> 00:13:46,000 Stop laughing. I have to carry 27 juices 352 00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:49,170 2 blocks wearing this. 353 00:13:49,172 --> 00:13:52,406 Why'd you let the dog lady talk to you like that? 354 00:13:52,408 --> 00:13:55,977 She's my friend, even in that shirt. 355 00:14:00,816 --> 00:14:03,251 Well, there goes another $12. 356 00:14:03,253 --> 00:14:05,253 I have spent more money dry cleaning this blouse 357 00:14:05,255 --> 00:14:07,588 Than I have on health care. 358 00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,757 Health care? You mean that box of band-aids 359 00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:11,893 We got at the 99 cent store? 360 00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:13,995 I just have to look good tomorrow. 361 00:14:13,997 --> 00:14:15,830 Today was mortifying. 362 00:14:15,832 --> 00:14:19,934 They called me "sad dog" at the juice place. 363 00:14:19,936 --> 00:14:24,272 "sad dog, your juices are ready." 364 00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:28,042 Sad dog, pick up. 365 00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:30,278 Can you take these to table ten? I'm backed up on the booths. 366 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,915 Can you? I'm kind of just sitting here a minute, 367 00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,750 Enjoying not being told what to do. 368 00:14:35,752 --> 00:14:38,019 I get enough of it at that school. 369 00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:39,921 Look. 370 00:14:39,923 --> 00:14:42,189 If you're gonna do the martyr thing, do it right. 371 00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,624 Stick your hand in boiling oil 372 00:14:43,626 --> 00:14:45,359 Or even more painful, binge-watch 373 00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:47,929 Shahs of sunset on bravo. 374 00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:51,599 I need to talk to you in the kitchen now. 375 00:14:51,601 --> 00:14:54,035 Leave, someone's about to get schooled about school. 376 00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:57,071 This looks like it's going to get dirty and ugly. 377 00:14:57,073 --> 00:14:59,907 May I film it? 378 00:14:59,909 --> 00:15:04,879 And if so, may I then sell it on the internet? 379 00:15:04,881 --> 00:15:06,547 Look. You can't just do this for me. 380 00:15:06,549 --> 00:15:08,416 You're right. So we're out? 381 00:15:08,418 --> 00:15:11,118 No, we're not out, you said you were gonna do this for me. 382 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,653 I know, but you just said 383 00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:14,055 I can't just do it for you, 384 00:15:14,057 --> 00:15:15,122 And I agree. 385 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,123 I mean, who was I kidding? 386 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:18,092 Me. You were kidding me. 387 00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:19,994 I went in there thinking I was gonna use 388 00:15:19,996 --> 00:15:22,563 My business skills, and whatever hope 389 00:15:22,565 --> 00:15:24,265 I had of a flirtation with frenchie mcfrench 390 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:25,433 Went out the window when he saw me 391 00:15:25,435 --> 00:15:26,968 Wearing that t-shirt that said, 392 00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:29,236 "don't forget to spay and neuter me." 393 00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:30,771 Fine, I can quit. It's fine. 394 00:15:30,773 --> 00:15:34,108 It is? Really? No, it's not fine. 395 00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:37,678 Who am I kidding? Me. You were kidding me. 396 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,946 Well, you've gotta figure out something there 397 00:15:38,948 --> 00:15:40,081 To keep you interested, because you can't go 398 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,749 To pastry school just for me, 399 00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:44,685 And I'm not gonna not go to pastry school for you. 400 00:15:44,687 --> 00:15:45,853 Okay. You're right, max. 401 00:15:45,855 --> 00:15:46,854 Of course I'll do it for you. 402 00:15:46,856 --> 00:15:47,855 I just had a bad day. 403 00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:49,357 I mean, we both did. 404 00:15:49,359 --> 00:15:51,325 You lost your man's briefcase and your drugs, 405 00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:56,197 And I lost my dignity and a possible love interest. 406 00:15:56,199 --> 00:15:59,000 (all) surprise! 407 00:15:59,002 --> 00:16:01,435 See, that's how it's supposed to go. 408 00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:03,104 We got you a new book bag. 409 00:16:03,106 --> 00:16:04,939 Yeah, and a new chef's jacket. 410 00:16:04,941 --> 00:16:07,875 And a switchblade. 411 00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:12,680 Yeah, 'cause we're not buyin' another chef's jacket. 412 00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:14,148 Max, you know what this means? 413 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:17,018 That I got two surprises, and you got nothing? 414 00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:20,054 No, that everything's gonna work out at that school. 415 00:16:20,056 --> 00:16:21,489 I mean, in the blink of an eye, 416 00:16:21,491 --> 00:16:23,057 Just like this, things can change 417 00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:24,358 From bad to good. 418 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,359 Well, not totally good. They still haven't 419 00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:26,994 Gotten me anything. 420 00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:29,663 Caroline, you didn't not get anything. 421 00:16:29,665 --> 00:16:32,566 Here, your very own pencil case. 422 00:16:34,669 --> 00:16:39,707 But no pencils. My pencil dealer got busted. 423 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:42,043 Aw. Thank you, guys. 424 00:16:42,045 --> 00:16:45,012 I'm touched. I was not expecting it. 425 00:16:45,014 --> 00:16:50,084 Really? 'cause you kinda bullied us all into it. 426 00:16:53,989 --> 00:16:55,356 So that's a 780 on verbal, 427 00:16:55,358 --> 00:16:57,591 And a 780 on math. 428 00:16:57,593 --> 00:16:59,393 And with my degree in finance, 429 00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:01,362 Jackass-ing around the city getting juice 430 00:17:01,364 --> 00:17:03,064 Could be seen as a waste of my talents. 431 00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:05,766 And as the valedictorian at my graduation said-- 432 00:17:05,768 --> 00:17:10,071 And I'm stealin' from myself here, 433 00:17:10,073 --> 00:17:13,174 "I've seen the future of finance, 434 00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:15,543 And it's us." 435 00:17:15,545 --> 00:17:17,178 So you want me to get the juices? 436 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:21,482 Just for today. Please? 437 00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:25,920 Meringue cookies are a simple way 438 00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:28,222 To practice our pastry bag technique. 439 00:17:28,224 --> 00:17:31,058 Hm, interesting technique you got going there, chef. 440 00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,360 Dude, we gotta ditch these deadbeat partners. 441 00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:34,962 I'm stuck over there with grandma. 442 00:17:34,964 --> 00:17:37,231 No, I'm staying with the big guy next to me. 443 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,399 He's not gonna get me in trouble. 444 00:17:38,401 --> 00:17:40,234 He never talks. Get outta here. 445 00:17:40,236 --> 00:17:41,602 Go back to your own table, fat albert. 446 00:17:41,604 --> 00:17:43,137 Okay. 447 00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:44,638 I'm going back. 448 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,373 And the fat albert thing was 'cause I'm black, 449 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,209 Not fat, right? 450 00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:50,978 'cause I go to the gym two, three times a year. 451 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:53,247 I hear talking, but no baking up front. 452 00:17:53,249 --> 00:17:54,448 No, no, no, you only hear baking. 453 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:59,053 Just furiously master-baking up here. 454 00:17:59,055 --> 00:18:01,155 The meringue needs to have nice peaks. 455 00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:04,158 You are looking to make moist, pointy peaks. 456 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:08,162 I like to pinch them. 457 00:18:08,164 --> 00:18:10,064 Chef, seriously, man-to-man, 458 00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:12,066 We got a problem. 459 00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:13,934 I don't think max should be stuck with that big guy. 460 00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:15,269 He's not cool. 461 00:18:15,271 --> 00:18:16,904 I was just over there, and the only 462 00:18:16,906 --> 00:18:19,273 Pointy peaks he's interested in are hers. 463 00:18:19,275 --> 00:18:21,575 Talkin' boobies here, chef. 464 00:18:21,577 --> 00:18:23,444 Chef john, chef deke here 465 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:26,113 Seems to think you are sexually harassing max. 466 00:18:26,115 --> 00:18:30,117 Oh, please. 467 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,119 If I was harassing anyone, it would be you, chef. 468 00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:36,357 I mean, come on. 469 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,460 Be right back, big mary. 470 00:18:39,462 --> 00:18:44,265 You know it. 471 00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:46,167 Where's my juice? It's been an hour. 472 00:18:46,169 --> 00:18:47,268 The mood swing elf's getting them. 473 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:49,170 Look, I'm coming in there 474 00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:50,938 To flirt with chef nicholas, and when I enter, 475 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:55,843 I need you to say, "caroline, you look amazing." 476 00:18:55,845 --> 00:18:57,545 No. 477 00:18:57,547 --> 00:18:59,680 I actually physically can't say that. 478 00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:01,148 I would rather walk in there and yell, 479 00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:04,351 "I have crabs, and three of them just escaped." 480 00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:06,654 Call 9-1-1. Call 9-1-1. 481 00:19:06,656 --> 00:19:09,557 Something's happened to the adorable mixed-race one. 482 00:19:09,559 --> 00:19:11,892 Deke? 483 00:19:11,894 --> 00:19:13,994 He's diabetic. He needs insulin. 484 00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:15,796 Has anyone here ever administered a needle? 485 00:19:15,798 --> 00:19:18,899 Uh, administer means the same thing as "shove it in," right? 486 00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,801 Good, good, good, max. Come, come, come. 487 00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:23,237 Okay, uh, his syringes are in his fanny pack. 488 00:19:23,239 --> 00:19:24,471 I've actually never done this 489 00:19:24,473 --> 00:19:26,207 Without iron maiden playing in the background, 490 00:19:26,209 --> 00:19:27,575 But I'll give it a shot. 491 00:19:27,577 --> 00:19:30,844 Just put it anywhere in my hot bod. 492 00:19:30,846 --> 00:19:32,813 God help us. 493 00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:34,481 Oh, I hate needles. I can't look. 494 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:39,186 Oh. 495 00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:42,890 Get it together, ladies. 496 00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:47,494 This is why I'm not allowed to hold babies. 497 00:19:47,496 --> 00:19:48,862 Max, I think you and deke 498 00:19:48,864 --> 00:19:50,598 Should be lab partners from now on 499 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,234 In case something like this happens again. 500 00:19:53,236 --> 00:19:55,836 Is that okay? I guess if I have to. 501 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,338 Max? 502 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,540 I guess if I have to. 503 00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:01,375 [speaks french] 504 00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:04,178 What, did you not take your insulin on purpose? 505 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:07,514 I really wanted to be your partner. 506 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,885 Bebe, I can't find a chef jacket anywhere in here. 507 00:20:11,887 --> 00:20:13,721 And I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to wear one, 508 00:20:13,723 --> 00:20:15,856 But I'm really cold, and I can't walk around 509 00:20:15,858 --> 00:20:17,258 Like this all day. 510 00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,892 Maybe I can help. 511 00:20:18,894 --> 00:20:21,362 You can't stand there wet and cold. 512 00:20:21,364 --> 00:20:23,297 Take my jacket. Oh, no, no, no. 513 00:20:23,299 --> 00:20:26,400 You don't have-- oh, that'll work. 514 00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,868 I'm sorry about the no shirt under, 515 00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,737 But I just get so hot when I'm teaching. 516 00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:33,774 Yeah, hot. So hot. 517 00:20:33,776 --> 00:20:35,876 Oh mon dieu. 518 00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:38,445 I was just giving it to caroline. 519 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,747 I mean, she needs something to wear, 520 00:20:39,749 --> 00:20:42,416 And--and now, she has it. 521 00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:45,286 Chef, I will see you later. 522 00:20:45,288 --> 00:20:48,088 Caroline. 523 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:51,959 Max, I think I found something to keep me interested. 524 00:20:51,961 --> 00:20:54,428 This is weird. So I'm the good student now? 525 00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:57,398 And you're the one sleeping with the teacher? 526 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,099 We're not sleeping together. 527 00:20:59,101 --> 00:21:01,268 Why? Do you think he wants to? 528 00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:02,836 I don't know, but you better hurry it up 529 00:21:02,838 --> 00:21:06,307 Before big mary gets him.