1
00:00:01,677 --> 00:00:05,981
- I can't believe han is making
us tidy up this damn diner.

2
00:00:05,983 --> 00:00:08,984
It's like putting
a pretty church hat on a whore.

3
00:00:11,754 --> 00:00:15,757
- Come on, harder, faster!
Do it faster and harder.

4
00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:21,096
- Ding! What is, "things han
says to a male hustler," alex.

5
00:00:21,098 --> 00:00:22,497
- No time for jokes, max.

6
00:00:22,499 --> 00:00:24,199
The health inspector
will be here soon,

7
00:00:24,201 --> 00:00:26,034
And I need to get
that "a" rating.

8
00:00:26,036 --> 00:00:28,437
- This diner getting an "a"
for cleanliness

9
00:00:28,439 --> 00:00:32,174
Would be like me getting an "a"
for a bra size.

10
00:00:32,176 --> 00:00:34,943
- Oh, it will happen.
I did a thorough job.

11
00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:45,587
- Is he making omelets
or crystal meth?

12
00:00:47,123 --> 00:00:50,192
- Oleg, you let han put you
in two hair nets?

13
00:00:50,194 --> 00:00:54,696
- Three.
I don't want to talk about it.

14
00:00:54,698 --> 00:00:57,032
- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

15
00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:58,433
[cash register bell dings]

16
00:00:58,435 --> 00:01:02,170
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪

17
00:01:08,544 --> 00:01:10,946
- Sorry I'm late.
I was having my nails done.

18
00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:12,948
It's the first time
I stopped moving in two years,

19
00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:15,650
And I fell asleep.

20
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:17,953
- You had money to get
your nails done?

21
00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:19,955
Question: Was prostitution
as disgusting

22
00:01:19,957 --> 00:01:22,824
As you thought it would be?

23
00:01:22,826 --> 00:01:24,126
- Han paid for it.

24
00:01:24,128 --> 00:01:26,461
- Oh, so it was worse.

25
00:01:27,897 --> 00:01:29,197
- There she is.

26
00:01:29,199 --> 00:01:31,266
There's my show pony.

27
00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:34,536
Let me see them digits.

28
00:01:34,538 --> 00:01:36,671
I want you to be the first thing
the health inspector sees

29
00:01:36,673 --> 00:01:38,006
When he enters.

30
00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:40,642
You're just so blonde
and clean.

31
00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:45,714
- Hey! Where's my manicure?
How come I don't get anything?

32
00:01:45,716 --> 00:01:48,650
- Oh, I haven't forgotten you.
Here's 50 bucks.

33
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:50,719
Beat it until
the inspector leaves.

34
00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:57,159
- Some would be insulted.
I'm gonna ask for $75.

35
00:01:57,161 --> 00:01:59,361
- And, you are going to get it.

36
00:02:03,232 --> 00:02:05,400
- I have exciting news.
At the nail salon,

37
00:02:05,402 --> 00:02:07,969
I heard about this amazing
seminar we should go to.

38
00:02:07,971 --> 00:02:10,305
- [laughs] oh, no, no, no.

39
00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:12,240
I went to a seminar once.

40
00:02:12,242 --> 00:02:15,277
I was almost married
to 300 koreans.

41
00:02:15,279 --> 00:02:18,113
- It's a branding seminar
for business owners

42
00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:20,248
To define who they are
and get them primed and ready

43
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,184
For their window
of opportunity.

44
00:02:22,186 --> 00:02:25,954
- I think I'd rather be married
to 300 koreans.

45
00:02:25,956 --> 00:02:28,590
Then I could get my nails done
whenever I wanted.

46
00:02:28,592 --> 00:02:30,192
- Max, this is the real deal.

47
00:02:30,194 --> 00:02:32,294
The woman who runs it
is a branding genius.

48
00:02:32,296 --> 00:02:34,329
She created the nike
"just do it."

49
00:02:34,331 --> 00:02:36,431
- Oh, that woman
didn't make up "just do it."

50
00:02:36,433 --> 00:02:39,334
High school boyfriends have been
using that for centuries.

51
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,770
- You're still here!

52
00:02:41,772 --> 00:02:45,173
What's it gonna take,
another $10?

53
00:02:45,175 --> 00:02:46,942
- Hey, I don't need a seminar.

54
00:02:46,944 --> 00:02:51,279
I found a brand that's gonna
get me rich--obnoxious!

55
00:02:51,281 --> 00:02:53,782
- Okay, earl, how is cleaning
your area coming along?

56
00:02:53,784 --> 00:02:56,451
- I've got decades
of napkins over here

57
00:02:56,453 --> 00:02:58,620
With all my old ideas on them.

58
00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:01,756
Apparently,
napkins were the old twitter.

59
00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:05,393
- Hello.

60
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:06,628
Could you tell the owner

61
00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:08,463
The health inspector
has arrived?

62
00:03:08,465 --> 00:03:10,298
- Oh, you are a woman.

63
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:12,367
- Thank you for noticing.

64
00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:15,804
Are you han lee?

65
00:03:15,806 --> 00:03:17,872
- Hey, han, is this the--

66
00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:22,444
- So where would you like
to start?

67
00:03:22,446 --> 00:03:24,980
- Sadly, the men's room.

68
00:03:24,982 --> 00:03:27,616
Ground zero.

69
00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,551
- I will join you
in a second.

70
00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:31,553
Is it miss or mrs. Rotello?

71
00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:34,623
- It's miss.
Thank you for asking.

72
00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:38,893
I'll see you at the toilets.

73
00:03:38,895 --> 00:03:41,663
Ground zero just got
a lot nicer.

74
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:50,138
- Han, I think that health
inspector wants to inspect you.

75
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,907
- Stop! If she hears you,
she'll give me an "f."

76
00:03:52,909 --> 00:03:55,477
- I think she wants you
to give her an "f."

77
00:03:57,013 --> 00:03:59,781
- Max, I paid you $90.
Now, go!

78
00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:03,018
- Here, max.
- What's this?

79
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,519
- That's how we'll make
the $600 we need

80
00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:05,987
For the seminar.
[ding, ding]

81
00:04:05,989 --> 00:04:07,689
I made flyers for
a yard sale at kinko's.

82
00:04:07,691 --> 00:04:11,159
Wow, "kinko's" and "yard sale"
in the same breath.

83
00:04:11,161 --> 00:04:14,129
Where do I keep finding
this inner strength?

84
00:04:17,099 --> 00:04:18,667
[knock at door]

85
00:04:18,669 --> 00:04:21,169
That must be sophie
with her yard sale stuff.

86
00:04:21,171 --> 00:04:24,039
- Hi, girls!

87
00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:26,107
- Hey, sophie!
Where's all your junk?

88
00:04:26,109 --> 00:04:30,178
- Oh, where it always is--
in my trunk! [laughs]

89
00:04:31,681 --> 00:04:33,748
Well, look here.

90
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,517
I got a bunch of stuff
that oleg wanted

91
00:04:35,519 --> 00:04:37,585
To donate to your yard sale.

92
00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:39,387
- Aw, that's so nice of him.

93
00:04:39,389 --> 00:04:41,523
- Oh, yeah,
he doesn't know about it.

94
00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:42,924
Yeah, it's all the stuff

95
00:04:42,926 --> 00:04:45,060
He's been leaving around
my apartment.

96
00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:47,629
He's getting way
too comfortable, so...

97
00:04:47,631 --> 00:04:51,366
Sell it all!
Yeah. [laughs]

98
00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:54,602
You probably can get a couple
of bucks for his passport.

99
00:04:54,604 --> 00:04:56,938
Yeah, he paid $80 for it.

100
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,707
- Maybe he's leaving
things around

101
00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:01,109
Because he wants to take things
to another level,

102
00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:02,644
Maybe even move in.

103
00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:06,815
- Oh, girl talk.
Ooh!

104
00:05:06,817 --> 00:05:10,952
Shouldn't you serve me a cosmo
like they do on television?

105
00:05:10,954 --> 00:05:13,455
- Don't have any cosmos,
as we're broke

106
00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:16,558
And it's not 1998, but...

107
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,892
How about a pink cupcake?

108
00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:19,894
- Oh, even better.

109
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:22,163
- Maybe now that oleg
has told you he loves you,

110
00:05:22,165 --> 00:05:25,467
You're starting to have intimacy
issues about getting close.

111
00:05:25,469 --> 00:05:27,502
- Oh, come on.

112
00:05:27,504 --> 00:05:30,805
Save that garbage
for your yard sale.

113
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:33,908
Yeah, the man is just
up there too much.

114
00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:37,979
I mean, he's down there when
he's up there, but, yeah...

115
00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:40,415
It's way too much, yeah.

116
00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:42,484
He's got to change,
or he's out.

117
00:05:42,486 --> 00:05:45,420
Hey, thanks
for the cupcake, max.

118
00:05:45,422 --> 00:05:47,489
And, caroline...

119
00:05:47,491 --> 00:05:49,591
I don't know what you add,
but, yeah.

120
00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:54,696
- Our yard sale is not quite
all set up yet.

121
00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:56,564
You're early.
Our flyer said 1:00 to 5:00.

122
00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:59,401
- Oh, I don't do flyers.

123
00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:01,469
Miss trudy, my card.

124
00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:06,074
This is my wife, miss trudy,
and the bird's name is scott.

125
00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:07,776
- Dennis endicott the third,

126
00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:11,079
Thrift shop scout and brooklyn's
crazy kitsch genius.

127
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:14,482
- "lord of the things."

128
00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:19,587
So, I have lots
of classic couture pieces.

129
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:20,989
You won't be disappointed.

130
00:06:20,991 --> 00:06:24,793
- Well, I have been before.
Miss trudy?

131
00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:27,328
- [scoffs] we went all the way
to pennsylvania for

132
00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:29,197
A  <i>facts of life</i>bean bag
toss game.

133
00:06:29,199 --> 00:06:31,299
- No blair!
- [whispering] no blair.

134
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:34,602
- Just two tooties.

135
00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,871
- Life just sucks
it hard sometimes.

136
00:06:36,873 --> 00:06:38,606
Am I right, scott?

137
00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,175
- So, on that chair
are my things,

138
00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:41,609
And you'll notice
that there's a lot--

139
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:44,112
- Oh, I already did.
14 for all of it.

140
00:06:44,114 --> 00:06:45,713
- $1,400, perfect!

141
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:48,917
- Hundred?
Darling, $14.

142
00:06:50,119 --> 00:06:51,853
- But this is all vintage.

143
00:06:51,855 --> 00:06:54,289
- Vintage, or just
out of season?

144
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:57,492
Wait, is that a nugget buddy?

145
00:06:57,494 --> 00:06:59,127
Miss trudy,
they have the cowboy.

146
00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:00,528
- He loves the cowboy.

147
00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:03,531
- I bet he does.

148
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,366
- Oh, I am so relieved.

149
00:07:05,368 --> 00:07:08,102
When we don't find anything
good, he gets really mad...

150
00:07:08,104 --> 00:07:10,104
[whispers] at me.

151
00:07:10,106 --> 00:07:12,040
- I'm sorry, that's not supposed
to be out.

152
00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:13,374
I can't break up the set.

153
00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:15,543
- You have all ten
nugget buddies?

154
00:07:15,545 --> 00:07:18,646
- Yep, and every other
happy meal toy since 1993.

155
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,448
My mom used to take me there
a lot.

156
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:24,219
[laughs] well, she used to leave
me there a lot, but same diff.

157
00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:25,954
- $600 for the whole collection.

158
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:28,056
- Sold!
- Whoa, whoa, not sold.

159
00:07:28,058 --> 00:07:29,891
- Max, come on,
this is our future.

160
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,993
- Well, those are my past.
No sale.

161
00:07:31,995 --> 00:07:33,294
- Let's go, scott.

162
00:07:33,296 --> 00:07:35,797
This is "tootie-gate"
all over again.

163
00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:37,499
And you--

164
00:07:37,501 --> 00:07:40,502
When we get home, you better put
on the punishment pillow.

165
00:07:43,472 --> 00:07:46,541
- Don't worry.
I kind of like it.

166
00:07:48,911 --> 00:07:50,678
- Well, so much for a horse
in a hat

167
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,914
Being the weirdest thing
in this yard.

168
00:08:00,456 --> 00:08:03,157
- Explain to me again
how an item I paid $3,000 for

169
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:05,593
Just two years ago
is worth less than something

170
00:08:05,595 --> 00:08:09,364
That came
with a dipping sauce!

171
00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:12,634
- A happy meal toy reminds
people of a sweeter time,

172
00:08:12,636 --> 00:08:17,105
A simpler time,
a pre-kardashian time.

173
00:08:17,107 --> 00:08:18,339
- Attention, attention!

174
00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:20,174
I have something
very important here.

175
00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:23,044
- The results of your dna test
proving your mother was asian

176
00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:25,613
And your father
was a pine nut?

177
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,316
- No, we got our letter grade

178
00:08:28,318 --> 00:08:31,252
From the city
health inspector's office.

179
00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:36,190
- [gasps] whoo!
We got a "b"!

180
00:08:36,192 --> 00:08:37,792
That's the first "b"
I ever got

181
00:08:37,794 --> 00:08:40,828
I didn't have
to french kiss for.

182
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:42,497
- A "b"?
No, no, no, no!

183
00:08:42,499 --> 00:08:44,399
This boy don't play
with no "b"s.

184
00:08:44,401 --> 00:08:47,435
I'm calling that little tease,
miss jean rotello, right now.

185
00:08:49,471 --> 00:08:52,006
- This isn't good.
Asians don't do well with "b"s.

186
00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:54,375
At wharton, I got a "b,"
and the japanese kid

187
00:08:54,377 --> 00:08:57,011
Who sat next to me
killed himself.

188
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:04,118
- Oleg, I'm kind of getting used
to this look now.

189
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,988
You kind of look like
bin laden's ghost.

190
00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:12,060
- Good night, girls.

191
00:09:12,062 --> 00:09:14,495
I'm going to go over and spend
the night at sophie's.

192
00:09:14,497 --> 00:09:15,597
- No, maybe not.

193
00:09:15,599 --> 00:09:16,965
- Why would you say that?

194
00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:20,301
- Because she can't
stop herself.

195
00:09:20,303 --> 00:09:22,837
- It's just, she might like
a little space sometimes.

196
00:09:22,839 --> 00:09:24,639
- She needs space?
Did she say that?

197
00:09:24,641 --> 00:09:29,010
- Not in so many words.
- No, those were the words.

198
00:09:29,012 --> 00:09:31,012
Look, sophie
loves having you around.

199
00:09:31,014 --> 00:09:32,614
It's just, she told us that
you're getting

200
00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:34,148
A little too comfortable there
when she came over

201
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:37,118
To sell all your stuff
at our yard sale.

202
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,054
I know how that sounds--
- and yet, you keep going.

203
00:09:42,257 --> 00:09:44,659
- Oleg, sophie is just feeling
a little smothered.

204
00:09:44,661 --> 00:09:46,260
- She feels smothered?

205
00:09:46,262 --> 00:09:49,263
Have you ever tried
motorboating those cans of hers?

206
00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:56,070
- Once, but I was very drunk
at the time.

207
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,343
- Just make a few changes,

208
00:10:02,345 --> 00:10:03,845
And everything will
be right back on track.

209
00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:05,680
- And stop talking now.

210
00:10:05,682 --> 00:10:08,516
- Make some changes?
That's all I've done for her.

211
00:10:08,518 --> 00:10:11,285
I changed my furniture,
I changed my ways.

212
00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:14,122
I changed my underwear
more than once a week.

213
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:21,129
That's it.
No more changing for han...

214
00:10:21,131 --> 00:10:23,398
And no more changing
for sophie.

215
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:31,706
I'm done changing.
I'm back, baby.

216
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,775
Spread the word!

217
00:10:42,051 --> 00:10:46,220
- I think he's gonna be
spreading more than the word.

218
00:10:46,222 --> 00:10:48,089
- I want to kill someone!

219
00:10:48,091 --> 00:10:51,159
- Why, did they cancel
<i>suite life of zack and cody?</i>

220
00:10:54,897 --> 00:10:57,432
- No, I just got off the phone
with the restaurant inspector--

221
00:10:57,434 --> 00:10:59,434
- She answered her phone
at this time of night?

222
00:10:59,436 --> 00:11:02,503
- Come on, it's not like
she was out on the town.

223
00:11:02,505 --> 00:11:04,172
- Han!

224
00:11:04,174 --> 00:11:07,308
I think that "b" you're holding
might stand for "bitch."

225
00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:09,677
- And she told me I got a "b"
because of the conditions

226
00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,113
Of the back room
off the dishwasher area.

227
00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:14,982
I didn't even know we had
a back room, did you?

228
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:17,118
- No, but of course there's
a mysterious back room

229
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,853
In this new upside down world,

230
00:11:18,855 --> 00:11:22,156
Where a piece of cheese is mayor
and donna karan is a no one!

231
00:11:27,296 --> 00:11:28,763
- Oh, there it is.

232
00:11:28,765 --> 00:11:30,164
I always thought
that was the property

233
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:31,632
Of the bar next door.

234
00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:33,701
- If we share a door
with a bar,

235
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:38,206
My breaks are about
to get longer and drunker.

236
00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:40,742
- Wait here, girls,
while I push this rack away.

237
00:11:42,644 --> 00:11:45,213
[grunting]

238
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:48,983
[grunting]

239
00:11:48,985 --> 00:11:52,086
P90x, don't fail me now!

240
00:12:01,897 --> 00:12:04,966
- I'm pretty sure this is what
my soul looks like.

241
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:10,037
- Now I'm going to have to hire
an emergency crew to come

242
00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:12,306
Clean this by Friday
to get my "a."

243
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,641
- Oh, damn it.

244
00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:15,443
I guess caroline
and I can do it.

245
00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,112
- Are you insane?
Max, I can't.

246
00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:20,882
I haven't worked on
the railroads like you.

247
00:12:20,884 --> 00:12:22,650
- Come on.

248
00:12:22,652 --> 00:12:25,052
Han needs his "a," and we need
the money for that seminar.

249
00:12:25,054 --> 00:12:27,321
Isn't this one of those
"windows of opportunity"?

250
00:12:28,657 --> 00:12:30,591
- $600.
- Forget it, girls.

251
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:31,826
Look at these walls.

252
00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:33,728
I need professional
steam cleaners.

253
00:12:33,730 --> 00:12:35,496
- I have steam cleaned before.

254
00:12:35,498 --> 00:12:37,331
I mean, how else do you get
malt liquor and blood stains

255
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,367
Out of a rented prom dress?

256
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,972
- Ugh, it's so humid
and damp in here.

257
00:12:44,974 --> 00:12:47,041
Now I know how balls feel.

258
00:12:54,950 --> 00:12:56,417
Let me just move
this cord out of--

259
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:58,186
[electricity sparking]
oh! I just got a shock!

260
00:12:58,188 --> 00:12:59,487
- [laughs] no.

261
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:01,389
A shock is coming home
to find your mom

262
00:13:01,391 --> 00:13:03,491
In the tub with
your tenth-grade crush.

263
00:13:05,727 --> 00:13:08,095
- I should push these
light cords back up over--

264
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:12,400
[screaming]

265
00:13:12,402 --> 00:13:14,836
- Uh, it's a roach nest.

266
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:18,573
- [screaming]

267
00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:20,508
- It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay, it's okay!

268
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,076
It's okay!
- [whimpering]

269
00:13:22,078 --> 00:13:25,012
- Good news,
they're already dead.

270
00:13:25,014 --> 00:13:27,048
Bad news, as I pull them

271
00:13:27,050 --> 00:13:29,884
Out of your hair,
they're decomposing.

272
00:13:29,886 --> 00:13:32,086
- [whimpering]
- are you crying?

273
00:13:32,088 --> 00:13:33,254
- I can't do this.

274
00:13:33,256 --> 00:13:35,289
Not even for the seminar.

275
00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:37,758
- I'll sell my happy meals.

276
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,260
- Max, you don't have
to do that.

277
00:13:39,262 --> 00:13:41,329
- But we need the money.
- Okay, great!

278
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,437
- Hey, nugget buddies.

279
00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:50,771
As soon as the man
with the bird gets here,

280
00:13:50,773 --> 00:13:52,139
You'll be leaving
my loving care

281
00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:54,275
And going out
into the big, bad world.

282
00:13:54,277 --> 00:13:56,110
Shoes will step on you,

283
00:13:56,112 --> 00:13:57,745
Kids will tie you
to firecrackers,

284
00:13:57,747 --> 00:13:59,747
And some real sickos
may stick you in a trunk

285
00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:01,949
And drive you
across state lines.

286
00:14:01,951 --> 00:14:04,352
[knock at door]

287
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,353
- Hi, sophie.

288
00:14:05,355 --> 00:14:06,554
- Oleg cheated on me,

289
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:10,358
And I'm so [screaming] maaad!

290
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,194
[screaming]

291
00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:15,363
Oh, I have to break things!

292
00:14:15,365 --> 00:14:18,699
But everything upstairs
in my apartment is too nice!

293
00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:21,302
So...Run a tab, girls!

294
00:14:22,371 --> 00:14:24,605
[screams]

295
00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:28,209
Aah!
[screams]

296
00:14:28,211 --> 00:14:33,047
[screaming]

297
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,785
I gotta break more things!
[screams]

298
00:14:37,787 --> 00:14:39,720
- Wait, don't break that box!
That's my happy--

299
00:14:39,722 --> 00:14:43,424
- [screaming]

300
00:14:43,426 --> 00:14:44,892
Ohh.

301
00:14:44,894 --> 00:14:47,061
I feel better.

302
00:14:47,063 --> 00:14:48,963
I really do.

303
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:52,800
Okay.
All right.

304
00:14:52,802 --> 00:14:54,702
- I think we just saw what
it would look like

305
00:14:54,704 --> 00:14:57,138
If someone cheated
on the incredible hulk.

306
00:14:58,807 --> 00:15:01,809
- Hey, girls.
[breathing heavily]

307
00:15:01,811 --> 00:15:04,879
Sophie's back.
Spread the word!

308
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:12,420
- Max, look,
your happy meal toys.

309
00:15:19,027 --> 00:15:21,162
Look, I know you're upset
about your toys, max,

310
00:15:21,164 --> 00:15:23,998
But come on,
it's kind of fun.

311
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,100
- There is only one kind of wet
that I have been at 3:00

312
00:15:26,102 --> 00:15:28,536
In the morning
that I would call "fun."

313
00:15:28,538 --> 00:15:30,604
This is not it!

314
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:35,276
- Oh, look!
Under the newspaper,

315
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:37,545
There's some sort of
stained glass window there.

316
00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:39,714
Aw, pretty!

317
00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:42,183
- Oh, you're finally getting
the money you wanted

318
00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:44,251
And you're so chipper.

319
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:46,754
- I'm "chipper,"
to use your word, because

320
00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:49,590
We're working to earn money to
move our business brand forward.

321
00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:51,192
- Stop saying "brand."

322
00:15:51,194 --> 00:15:54,662
And this "seminar"
better be worth it.

323
00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:56,263
- Why are you saying it
like that?

324
00:15:56,265 --> 00:15:57,932
"seminar," with quotes
around it,

325
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,667
Like it's a silly idea
or something.

326
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,535
- I didn't say "seminar"
with quotes around it.

327
00:16:01,537 --> 00:16:03,204
- You did.
You said--

328
00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:04,438
Ooh! Ooh, sorry!

329
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,340
Sorry!

330
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,843
I was trying to illustrate that
you put quotes around it.

331
00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:11,779
- I am too tired to put quotes
around things,

332
00:16:11,781 --> 00:16:13,614
But if I were gonna put quotes
on a word,

333
00:16:13,616 --> 00:16:16,350
That word would be,
"seminar"!

334
00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:18,119
Oh, and "branding"!

335
00:16:18,121 --> 00:16:21,222
And I would put big, giant,
dumbass quotes around

336
00:16:21,224 --> 00:16:23,624
"branding seminar"!

337
00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:25,793
- Max, you did that
on purpose!

338
00:16:25,795 --> 00:16:28,362
- Oh, maybe it was just
an accident!

339
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,868
Stop! Stop!
You're spraying the light cord!

340
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:36,303
Hello!
Water and electricity,

341
00:16:36,305 --> 00:16:38,839
Not the best combo!

342
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:42,576
Like some other not-great combos
I can think of.

343
00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:45,179
- Us?
You mean us?

344
00:16:45,181 --> 00:16:47,982
What, now we are not
a great combo?

345
00:16:47,984 --> 00:16:49,550
Oh, wow.

346
00:16:49,552 --> 00:16:53,054
Sorry I suggested we go
to a quote-seminar-unquote.

347
00:16:53,056 --> 00:16:54,789
Sorry I'm trying
to move us forward.

348
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:57,458
- Sorry that you think
you know how to do everything.

349
00:16:57,460 --> 00:17:00,327
- Sorry that you resent the fact
that I know how to do business.

350
00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:02,963
- Sorry that you think you know
how to do business,

351
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:05,599
And maybe that's why
our first business failed.

352
00:17:05,601 --> 00:17:09,603
- Sorry that you took two
weed breaks every single day

353
00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:11,138
Instead of making work calls,

354
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,574
And maybe that's why
our business failed.

355
00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:16,677
- Sorry that I didn't take
more weed breaks,

356
00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:18,746
Because I really could have
used them working with

357
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:19,914
A know-it-all like you!

358
00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:21,515
And sorry--
- it's my turn!

359
00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:24,118
- No! Sorry that you, also,
had to stick your nose

360
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,653
Into oleg and sophie's
business,

361
00:17:25,655 --> 00:17:27,521
So that he cheated,
and she got mad and then,

362
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:30,324
By an almost irrefutable
line of direct action,

363
00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:31,692
You killed my toys!

364
00:17:31,694 --> 00:17:33,794
- Sorry that it doesn't matter

365
00:17:33,796 --> 00:17:36,664
How many things I ever did right
because poor itty-bitty

366
00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:40,000
Baby max's happy meal toys
got all broked!

367
00:17:40,002 --> 00:17:43,070
[hose shoots]
don't push me, max!

368
00:17:45,674 --> 00:17:48,943
- You're such a fan of branding,

369
00:17:48,945 --> 00:17:50,444
"just do it."

370
00:17:50,446 --> 00:17:52,713
"have it your way."

371
00:17:52,715 --> 00:17:55,883
"what happens in vegas,
stays in vegas."

372
00:17:55,885 --> 00:17:57,852
"got milk?"

373
00:17:57,854 --> 00:18:00,154
Got any other
stupid business ideas?

374
00:18:03,225 --> 00:18:05,025
- Stop!

375
00:18:05,027 --> 00:18:06,293
[screaming] stop, stop,
stop it, stop it!

376
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:08,796
I am done!

377
00:18:08,798 --> 00:18:10,931
- No, <i>I'm</i> done!

378
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,533
- No, we're both done!

379
00:18:12,535 --> 00:18:14,268
- Fine, we're both done!

380
00:18:14,270 --> 00:18:15,769
- Done!
- Done!

381
00:18:15,771 --> 00:18:17,872
- No, I'm really done, max!

382
00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:19,573
I'm tired of trying
to make things happen!

383
00:18:19,575 --> 00:18:22,309
I'm tired of pushing us
into cupcake shops!

384
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:25,212
- And I'm tired of you pushing
us into cupcake shops too.

385
00:18:25,214 --> 00:18:29,083
Shops that we couldn't afford
in the first place.

386
00:18:29,085 --> 00:18:31,719
[electricity sparking]
- [screams]

387
00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:33,420
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god, max!

388
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:35,256
Max, are you all right?

389
00:18:35,258 --> 00:18:36,824
Cpr, what is it?

390
00:18:36,826 --> 00:18:38,225
Do you do pinch the nose
and breathe into the mouth?

391
00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:39,727
Wait, wait!

392
00:18:39,729 --> 00:18:42,429
I think you're supposed
to pump the chest first.

393
00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:45,466
Well, I'll never
get through those!

394
00:18:45,468 --> 00:18:47,902
Max, I'm about to put
my mouth on yours,

395
00:18:47,904 --> 00:18:51,205
So if you're kidding
you better wake up right now.

396
00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:55,676
[blows]

397
00:18:55,678 --> 00:18:57,244
[crying]
max, please don't die.

398
00:18:57,246 --> 00:18:59,747
Please don't die.
You're my best friend.

399
00:18:59,749 --> 00:19:01,649
[blows]

400
00:19:01,651 --> 00:19:02,983
[gasps]

401
00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,718
Sit up!
Sit up, sit up!

402
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,054
Are you all right?
- What happened?

403
00:19:07,056 --> 00:19:08,522
- You grabbed that wire,

404
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,058
And I think you got
a little electrocuted.

405
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,560
- I always knew
I'd be electrocuted,

406
00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:15,763
I just thought it would be
in the chair.

407
00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:17,031
God, I'm so hot.
I need air.

408
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,533
- Come here.
The window, come on.

409
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,368
Come on.
Come on, over here.

410
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,871
Here, kneel.
[grunts] open!

411
00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:25,372
Oh, damn,
there are shutters.

412
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:27,441
Here, hold on to the wall
while I get this.

413
00:19:30,612 --> 00:19:33,113
Are you okay?
Take a deep breath in.

414
00:19:33,115 --> 00:19:34,949
Breathe in.

415
00:19:34,951 --> 00:19:36,250
Max, that was so scary.

416
00:19:36,252 --> 00:19:38,085
For a second,
I thought you died.

417
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:41,689
- Maybe I did, 'cause I kind
of remember a place with flames.

418
00:19:41,691 --> 00:19:45,359
And you were making out with me.
- [chuckles]

419
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:47,795
- What is that delicious smell?
[sniffs]

420
00:19:47,797 --> 00:19:50,030
- The pizza place next
to the bar next door.

421
00:19:50,032 --> 00:19:53,100
- Oh, god, has a pizza
ever smelled so good?

422
00:19:54,469 --> 00:19:55,869
- Hey, what are you guys
doing?

423
00:19:55,871 --> 00:19:57,638
Is that, like,
a store or something?

424
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,274
- No.
- Holler.

425
00:20:02,143 --> 00:20:04,378
- Wait, caroline...

426
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:07,214
This is our window
of opportunity!

427
00:20:07,216 --> 00:20:08,816
- Max, what a great idea!

428
00:20:08,818 --> 00:20:11,819
A cupcake walk-up window?
You're a genius!

429
00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:15,055
- I just might be
since I died!

430
00:20:15,057 --> 00:20:16,724
- So much less overhead.

431
00:20:16,726 --> 00:20:18,425
And this time we'll be starting
at the bottom,

432
00:20:18,427 --> 00:20:20,394
So we'll have nowhere
to go but up.

433
00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,563
- Thank god!
I am so much more comfortable

434
00:20:22,565 --> 00:20:24,565
At the bottom!
- [chuckles]

435
00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:28,435
- Hey, I have
this weird feeling inside.

436
00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:31,171
I'm mchappy.
- [laughs]

437
00:20:31,173 --> 00:20:33,574
- Hey, girls.

438
00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:38,312
Turning tricks in a window
like they do in amsterdam?

439
00:20:38,314 --> 00:20:40,514
- No, we think we found
our new business.

440
00:20:40,516 --> 00:20:43,617
- Sophie, this is the new
max's homemade cupcakes.

441
00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:48,856
- Speaking of windows,
that's oleg's car, right?

442
00:20:48,858 --> 00:20:50,090
Oh.

443
00:20:50,092 --> 00:20:52,159
Yeah. Yeah.

444
00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:01,101
- Well, some people open
windows, some people smash them.

445
00:21:01,103 --> 00:21:03,103
[glass breaking]

446
00:21:03,105 --> 00:21:06,106
[upbeat theme music]

447
00:21:06,108 --> 00:21:11,912
♪

448
00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:13,981
[cash register bell dings]