1 00:00:00,910 --> 00:00:03,045 - Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick. 2 00:00:03,047 --> 00:00:04,579 I want to look in the mirror 3 00:00:04,581 --> 00:00:06,381 And make sure I'm still dead in the eyes. 4 00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:09,084 You think you can handle my section? 5 00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:12,487 - Uh, yeah, I think I can handle it. 6 00:00:12,489 --> 00:00:14,289 Hey, earl, I don't know if you noticed, 7 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:15,891 But I'm running the whole diner right now. 8 00:00:15,893 --> 00:00:18,060 What, what? 9 00:00:18,062 --> 00:00:20,562 - The customer at table ten appears to be choking, 10 00:00:20,564 --> 00:00:22,397 And I would help, 11 00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:24,633 But the last time I gave a white woman the heimlich, 12 00:00:24,635 --> 00:00:27,569 I did six months in the birmingham city jail. 13 00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:30,372 - Oh, my god, are you choking? 14 00:00:30,374 --> 00:00:32,808 Oh, my god, I feel like you're choking! 15 00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:34,543 Is anyone here a doctor? 16 00:00:34,545 --> 00:00:36,378 What am I saying? I forgot where I am. 17 00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:39,314 Has anyone here ever seen scrubs? 18 00:00:39,316 --> 00:00:41,483 What do you do when a girl is choking? 19 00:00:41,485 --> 00:00:45,220 - I just back up a few inches. 20 00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:47,589 - What do we do? 21 00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:49,758 What do we do? This woman is choking! 22 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,461 - [choking] 23 00:00:52,463 --> 00:00:55,397 [spits] 24 00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,600 Thank you so much. 25 00:00:58,602 --> 00:01:00,402 - You're welcome. And feel free to tip me 26 00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:04,172 What you think your life's worth. 27 00:01:04,174 --> 00:01:07,776 I feel 3 bucks coming my way. 28 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:10,212 - ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 29 00:01:10,214 --> 00:01:11,613 [cash register bell dings] 30 00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:15,183 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 31 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,128 - Here you go, guys. I'm the only waitress. 32 00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:27,729 Sorry you waited longer for the burger 33 00:01:27,731 --> 00:01:31,233 Than you did for that cosby sweater to come back. 34 00:01:32,735 --> 00:01:35,804 - Max, look at my face. I'm very upset. 35 00:01:35,806 --> 00:01:37,572 - Oh. 36 00:01:37,574 --> 00:01:42,144 Is that what that means? I just assumed you were constipated. 37 00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:43,912 - Caroline is late again. 38 00:01:43,914 --> 00:01:45,647 And she better not use your new cupcake shop 39 00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:47,249 As an excuse this time, 40 00:01:47,251 --> 00:01:50,719 'cause sister, that crap ain't gonna fly. 41 00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:52,220 - First of all, 42 00:01:52,222 --> 00:01:53,822 Stop talking like you're in a tyler perry movie. 43 00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:55,323 And secondly, 44 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:58,193 Caroline's here; she's in the kitchen. 45 00:01:58,195 --> 00:02:00,061 - Oh, really? 'cause when I was in there, 46 00:02:00,063 --> 00:02:01,596 You told me she was out here. 47 00:02:01,598 --> 00:02:04,199 You play me, fool. 48 00:02:04,201 --> 00:02:06,301 - Stop talking like you're in a tyler perry sequel. 49 00:02:06,303 --> 00:02:07,302 And secondly-- 50 00:02:07,304 --> 00:02:09,237 - I'll ask earl. Earl... 51 00:02:09,239 --> 00:02:12,974 - Oop! - Ow! 52 00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:14,809 - What happened? Why did you scream? 53 00:02:14,811 --> 00:02:19,381 - I accidentally sat on one of my boys! 54 00:02:19,383 --> 00:02:21,149 - Have you seen caroline tonight? 55 00:02:21,151 --> 00:02:22,751 - Of course I have, man. 56 00:02:22,753 --> 00:02:24,886 I just saw her go down the hall to the ladies room. 57 00:02:24,888 --> 00:02:26,555 - There. Happy? 58 00:02:26,557 --> 00:02:30,458 You've solved the big mystery, shortlock holmes. 59 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:34,396 - Wait, she didn't pick up any of her-- 60 00:02:34,398 --> 00:02:36,131 Caroline? 61 00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:37,966 - Can't talk now, han. 62 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,768 And how many more times do I have to ask you 63 00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:41,236 To fix this damn pie carousel? 64 00:02:41,238 --> 00:02:42,704 I mean, the temp just isn't cool enough, 65 00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,439 And those tapiocas are gonna turn bad. 66 00:02:44,441 --> 00:02:46,575 If you do want a lawsuit, just keep ignoring me. 67 00:02:46,577 --> 00:02:47,943 Max, can I see you in the kitchen 68 00:02:47,945 --> 00:02:49,311 Where I was just a couple minutes ago 69 00:02:49,313 --> 00:02:51,980 After I got out of the ladies room? 70 00:02:51,982 --> 00:02:54,416 - Yeah, get on that temperature thing. 71 00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:55,951 There's so much mold growing in there 72 00:02:55,953 --> 00:02:58,620 That cherry pie's gonna need a pap smear. 73 00:03:00,957 --> 00:03:03,124 That was some ballsy, bold, in-your-face 74 00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,893 Awesome lying. 75 00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:08,029 - I learned it by watching you, dad. 76 00:03:08,031 --> 00:03:09,030 Had to lie. 77 00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:10,832 We need every minute 78 00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:13,134 We can steal away from here to get the cupcake shop ready. 79 00:03:13,136 --> 00:03:14,536 We still have to do the second coat of paint, 80 00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:17,339 Figure out tables and chairs... 81 00:03:17,341 --> 00:03:19,441 What? Didn't have time for lunch. 82 00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:20,942 - Oh, I don't care. 83 00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:22,143 I'm surprised you're using a spoon. 84 00:03:22,145 --> 00:03:25,614 I just stick my face in it. 85 00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:28,617 - So, my brilliant idea of how we get this all done 86 00:03:28,619 --> 00:03:30,652 Is we should get an intern to help. 87 00:03:30,654 --> 00:03:32,621 - What? No. 88 00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:34,322 I can't be a person that has an intern. 89 00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:37,626 I can barely be a person that doesn't have an intern. 90 00:03:37,628 --> 00:03:40,195 - Max, all businesses use interns. 91 00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:42,964 We just have to post an ad online at nyu or columbia, 92 00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:45,066 And we'll have 20 applicants battling it out 93 00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:46,468 To do our grunt work for credit. 94 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,036 - You make it sound like 95 00:03:48,038 --> 00:03:51,973 The hunger games: College edition. 96 00:03:51,975 --> 00:03:54,476 Sorry, I'm against getting people to work for free. 97 00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:55,810 - I'm with you, max. 98 00:03:55,812 --> 00:03:59,347 My people were interns for 436 years. 99 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,619 - I am just getting used to the idea of having my own business 100 00:04:04,621 --> 00:04:06,354 And now you want me to be someone's boss? 101 00:04:06,356 --> 00:04:07,922 I am not the boss. 102 00:04:07,924 --> 00:04:11,192 I'm the person who talks behind the boss's back. 103 00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:12,961 - [rings bell] pick up. 104 00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:14,262 - Thanks. Isn't han a tool? 105 00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:17,932 - Total tool. - Yeah, a tiny tool. 106 00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:21,536 Like the kind you fix your eyeglasses with. 107 00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:24,205 See? 108 00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,474 That's my wheelhouse. 109 00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:28,243 Look, I don't want to ask someone to work for free. 110 00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:29,644 We can do it all ourselves. 111 00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:31,546 - You want to do it all yourself? Great. 112 00:04:31,548 --> 00:04:33,815 I'll write everything you need to do on a to-do list. 113 00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:35,617 - Why don't you to-do that? 114 00:04:35,619 --> 00:04:38,219 And I will to-tear it up. 115 00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,021 - What're we tearing up? 116 00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:41,856 'cause if it's that ass, I already got that covered. 117 00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:44,726 - Hi, andy. That's so sweet and dirty. 118 00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:48,363 - Easy, easy. What are you, shipping off to war? 119 00:04:48,365 --> 00:04:52,200 - Here. Take this giant bag of skittles and look the other way. 120 00:04:52,202 --> 00:04:53,868 - [scoffs] I'm not that easy. 121 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,604 Ooh, new mystery flavors? 122 00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:58,606 - We getting together after you get off work? 123 00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:00,141 - It'll be really late. 124 00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:02,010 Max and I still have to go to the cupcake shop 125 00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:04,045 And tape up the windows so we can start the trim tomorrow. 126 00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,547 - Okay, I'm not very good at painting, 127 00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:08,149 But I can do this while you paint. 128 00:05:08,151 --> 00:05:09,551 Yeah. 129 00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,286 Yeah, roll that paint on that wall. 130 00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:16,224 Oh... 131 00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:20,328 - You are so freaking cute. 132 00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:23,765 - Ugh, white people. 133 00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,267 - Look, why don't you guys just get an intern? 134 00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:27,602 That's what I did when I opened my shop. 135 00:05:27,604 --> 00:05:29,938 - You two are like evil warlords 136 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:33,208 Mining the souls of innocent zombies. 137 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,876 - Oh, and keep your eyes peeled at your store. 138 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,845 The janitor told me he saw some rat droppings. 139 00:05:36,847 --> 00:05:39,547 But all you gotta do is set up some traps. 140 00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:42,217 - Oh, gross. Who's gonna do that? 141 00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:45,286 - The intern? 142 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:50,392 - So, ruth, you are a sophomore at nyu, 143 00:05:50,394 --> 00:05:52,127 Majoring in finance? - You know you're not 144 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:54,028 Gonna get paid. No money at all. 145 00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:58,299 - Yup, it's in internship. I mean, it's all good, right? 146 00:05:58,301 --> 00:06:01,770 - It's all good until you need money. 147 00:06:01,772 --> 00:06:04,105 - Well, we're a startup company, 148 00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:06,207 And we're launching our very first retail store, 149 00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,843 So there's a lot of details that you'll be responsible for. 150 00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:10,612 - There's a lot of carrying things, 151 00:06:10,614 --> 00:06:13,114 Maybe some trapping things. 152 00:06:13,116 --> 00:06:15,250 - Oh, it's cool. I have a car. 153 00:06:15,252 --> 00:06:18,353 - You have a car and you want to be an intern? 154 00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:19,754 How 'bout if we switch places? 155 00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,122 I'll be the intern with the car, 156 00:06:21,124 --> 00:06:22,357 And you can sit on a broken folding chair 157 00:06:22,359 --> 00:06:24,125 Next to donna trump over here. 158 00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:26,928 - Well, max and I need to have a little meeting right now, 159 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:28,530 So if you could go over to the waiting room, 160 00:06:28,532 --> 00:06:29,864 That'd be great. Okay, ruth? 161 00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:31,566 - I just wanna say 162 00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:35,804 I know my name is weird, but like it's too late, right? 163 00:06:35,806 --> 00:06:38,473 - Max, why are you trying to convince her 164 00:06:38,475 --> 00:06:39,774 To not be our intern? 165 00:06:39,776 --> 00:06:41,543 - Why are you not saying, 166 00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:45,146 "you may get rabies and bubonic plague from our rats?" 167 00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,616 - Don't mention the rats. 168 00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:51,219 You're chasing them away. And we do not have rats. 169 00:06:51,221 --> 00:06:54,289 We have rat droppings. Let's not jump to conclusions. 170 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,191 - You're right, the rats are probably 171 00:06:56,193 --> 00:06:58,793 Just coming in here to use the bathroom. 172 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:03,164 - Look, we need an intern. Now, who do you like so far? 173 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:04,833 - The one with the big boobs. 174 00:07:04,835 --> 00:07:08,636 - I knew it. All you big boob people stick together. 175 00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:11,439 - Hi, girls. 176 00:07:11,441 --> 00:07:13,274 Are you having a beauty contest 177 00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:16,711 And didn't invite me to give the other girls a chance? 178 00:07:16,713 --> 00:07:18,847 - We're interviewing people to be our intern. 179 00:07:18,849 --> 00:07:20,882 - Who doesn't get paid. 180 00:07:20,884 --> 00:07:23,184 - Well, this is for you. 181 00:07:23,186 --> 00:07:25,487 - You didn't have to do that. 182 00:07:25,489 --> 00:07:27,288 You already gave us the money for the shop. 183 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,591 - I know, I'm too wonderful. 184 00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,025 But it's for good luck, 185 00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:32,827 And sounds like you're gonna need it. 186 00:07:32,829 --> 00:07:36,331 Oleg says that it's rat central station around here. 187 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:39,667 - Not rats, sophie, just rat droppings. 188 00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:41,836 - Oh, just rat droppings. 189 00:07:41,838 --> 00:07:45,573 Oh, okay, no problem there. [laughs] 190 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,977 - Are you out of breath 191 00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:52,714 Because you jogged here all the way from 1974? 192 00:07:52,716 --> 00:07:54,616 - Sexy, huh? 193 00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:58,786 You should see his badunkadunk when he jogs. 194 00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:01,523 - Well, here they are. 60 rat traps. 195 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,594 - Girls... 196 00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:08,930 I don't want to interfere with your business, 197 00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:12,367 But what the hell is goin' on here? 198 00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:15,270 There's no fancy tables or pretty chairs. 199 00:08:15,272 --> 00:08:17,572 I mean, this place is so unappealing, 200 00:08:17,574 --> 00:08:21,609 Even I don't look good here. 201 00:08:24,947 --> 00:08:26,714 - No worries. 202 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:29,284 We have some adorable old-school ice cream tables and chairs 203 00:08:29,286 --> 00:08:32,453 On hold at a kooky, fun staten island junkyard. 204 00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:34,222 - Wow. 205 00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:35,790 I can't believe you didn't just shoot a blood clot 206 00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:38,860 Trying to make dump furniture sound cute. 207 00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:42,931 - Okay, girls, well, call me when you have a real business. 208 00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:44,966 Yeah, and I'm-- I'm gonna take this, 209 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,901 You know, so that the rats don't poop in it. 210 00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:50,705 Come on, badunkadunk. 211 00:08:50,707 --> 00:08:52,607 Oh, and, uh, max... 212 00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:55,510 Oh, she's good. Yes. 213 00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:59,480 - I knew it. All you big boob people stick together. 214 00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,186 Well? 215 00:09:05,188 --> 00:09:07,956 Here we are. 216 00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:09,724 The final three. 217 00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:16,531 - Well, you know the one I like. I'll give you a clue. 218 00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,933 One, two. 219 00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:21,703 - Standing in front of me I see two beautiful, 220 00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,605 Qualified young women. 221 00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:26,307 - Is she really going all top model right now? 222 00:09:26,309 --> 00:09:29,377 - If only. They pay. 223 00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:33,314 - I'm out, tyra. 224 00:09:33,316 --> 00:09:35,283 - Ruth, congratulations. 225 00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:36,851 You've been selected to be our intern. 226 00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:40,521 Max, will you get ruth started on something? 227 00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,423 - Yup, I got the internship. 228 00:09:42,425 --> 00:09:43,491 - Um... 229 00:09:43,493 --> 00:09:44,959 You know what? I got it. 230 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,595 It's not like you're getting paid. 231 00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:51,265 Big boob people are so much easier. 232 00:10:09,218 --> 00:10:11,285 - As a kid, people told you 233 00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,554 Everything you did was amazing, didn't they? 234 00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:16,024 - I was given a lot of positive reinforcement. 235 00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,425 I think it gave me the confidence 236 00:10:17,427 --> 00:10:19,360 That's gotten me through this last year. 237 00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:21,929 - Well, it's time you heard the truth. 238 00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:23,297 You stink at stuff. 239 00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:25,500 Like painting. 240 00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:28,036 - Fine. And you stink at stuff too. 241 00:10:28,038 --> 00:10:30,204 Like telling an intern what to do. 242 00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:32,140 - Ruth had to go to that concert. 243 00:10:32,142 --> 00:10:34,042 She had the tickets for weeks. 244 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:37,111 It was ashley d and ashley b's joint birthday. Duh. 245 00:10:37,113 --> 00:10:39,047 - And so the intern's out having fun, 246 00:10:39,049 --> 00:10:43,651 And here we are, the bosses, painting the walls at 3:00 a.M. 247 00:10:43,653 --> 00:10:45,019 - Well, I'm painting. 248 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:47,321 You got a kind of autistic ballerina thing 249 00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:49,724 Going on over there. 250 00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:51,059 - Can I ask you something? 251 00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:53,061 - I don't like maroon 5. 252 00:10:53,063 --> 00:10:54,529 No matter how many times you ask, 253 00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:56,330 The answer will always be no. 254 00:10:56,332 --> 00:10:58,032 - Not that. 255 00:10:58,034 --> 00:11:00,134 Would it be okay if I told andy not to come over tonight 256 00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:02,003 'cause I'm so exhausted, 257 00:11:02,005 --> 00:11:04,038 Or is it a little too early in the relationship to be all, 258 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,275 "I don't think I can have my legs up around my ears tonight"? 259 00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:08,776 - It's fine. 260 00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:10,244 You don't think he'd enjoy a night off 261 00:11:10,246 --> 00:11:12,914 From constant maroon 5 badgering? He would. 262 00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:15,116 - Feels awkward. Can't. 263 00:11:15,118 --> 00:11:17,418 My legs can go up there. They're fine. 264 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:20,455 I don't want to have that conversation right now. 265 00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:21,956 - Hey, look, I get it. 266 00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:23,858 There are conversations you don't want to have. 267 00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:27,695 Like, "hey, ruth, here's $0. Put down some rat traps." 268 00:11:27,697 --> 00:11:29,897 - We have a box right here that's not touched. 269 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,899 - Look, we're not talking about your relationship anymore. 270 00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:33,901 We're done. 271 00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:36,471 Relax. It's probably not even a rat, it's probably a mouse. 272 00:11:36,473 --> 00:11:39,440 Not a big deal. 273 00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,376 Oh, my god! Oh, my god, I see it! There it is! 274 00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:44,579 - The mouse? - That is not a mouse! 275 00:11:44,581 --> 00:11:46,948 That is a car that a mouse drives! 276 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,517 - Where did you see it? It was in the middle, right? 277 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,686 - Shh! - Why are you whispering? 278 00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:53,121 - I don't want him to hear me. 279 00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:54,455 - How do you know it's a he? 280 00:11:54,457 --> 00:11:57,291 - He looked at me kind of rapey. 281 00:11:57,293 --> 00:11:59,427 There! He just ran behind the thing! 282 00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:00,828 - What thing? - That thing! 283 00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:03,030 - This thing? Waah! 284 00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,332 - What? Did you see it? 285 00:12:04,334 --> 00:12:06,033 - I don't think so. 286 00:12:06,035 --> 00:12:07,135 - Oh, you'd know so. It has a saddle. 287 00:12:07,137 --> 00:12:08,236 - [gasps] 288 00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:13,674 - Oh, my god. 289 00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:17,378 He just opened the door with the strength of his whiskers. 290 00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,516 - He's gone. He went into the kitchen. 291 00:12:21,518 --> 00:12:22,517 Oh, what should we do? 292 00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:23,985 Should we call the cops? 293 00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:26,521 - He doesn't have a gun. 294 00:12:26,523 --> 00:12:28,022 Let's just get out of here. 295 00:12:28,024 --> 00:12:29,991 We'll call an exterminator in the morning. 296 00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:31,692 - [gasps] 297 00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:33,427 Too late, he's coming back! 298 00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:36,030 Aah! He's charging us! - He's gonna bite me! 299 00:12:36,032 --> 00:12:38,900 - [growls] 300 00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,374 Waah! - You can stop now! 301 00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:50,011 You painted him to death. 302 00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:59,220 I just got a glimpse of you at a barneys sample sale. 303 00:12:59,222 --> 00:13:02,757 - What a mess. Who's gonna clean that up? 304 00:13:02,759 --> 00:13:06,160 - The intern? 305 00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:10,598 - Oh, andy... 306 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,267 - I know. I'm good at this. 307 00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:16,103 - [moaning increases, turns to cries] 308 00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,105 - What? Is there another rat? 309 00:13:18,107 --> 00:13:20,842 - What are you doing? 310 00:13:20,844 --> 00:13:23,010 - I forgot andy was here! 311 00:13:23,012 --> 00:13:27,215 And your sex voice is the same as your murder voice. 312 00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:30,117 - So are you just gonna stand there? 313 00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:34,522 - Are you offering me a three-way? 314 00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:37,124 [buzzer sounds] 315 00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:41,028 Well, it looks like we're about to be a full-blown orgy. 316 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:43,464 It's 2:00 a.M. Who could this be? 317 00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:44,632 - It's ruth. 318 00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:48,002 - Ruth? - Yes. I'm late, right? 319 00:13:48,004 --> 00:13:49,837 - Why is she here? 320 00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:52,874 - I texted her and said you needed an enema. 321 00:13:52,876 --> 00:13:55,943 - Okay, now, this is some industrial-strength girl talk. 322 00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:58,446 - I had to do something to show her who was boss. 323 00:13:58,448 --> 00:14:00,448 I learned it while interning at conde nast. 324 00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,149 We've all gotten someone an enema 325 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:04,085 In the middle of the night, it's a right of passage. 326 00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:06,520 - For someone to get their passage right? 327 00:14:06,522 --> 00:14:08,189 - Beat me to it. 328 00:14:08,191 --> 00:14:09,924 [knock on door] 329 00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:13,194 - There. Go open the door. You know what has to happen. 330 00:14:14,529 --> 00:14:16,130 Max has to put ruth in her place 331 00:14:16,132 --> 00:14:18,299 So she can learn how to be a boss. 332 00:14:18,301 --> 00:14:19,967 - Oh. That's all? Good. 333 00:14:19,969 --> 00:14:21,335 'cause I thought from your tone 334 00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:23,137 You were gonna force max to have an enema. 335 00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:25,006 - Sorry I'm late. 336 00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:29,043 I had the tiniest pot cookie and had to pull over to take a nap. 337 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,481 Anyway, here is your enema. Enjoy. 338 00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:35,249 They only had the triple pack. 339 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:36,684 - Wait, ruth? 340 00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:38,486 Max has something she wants to say to you. 341 00:14:38,488 --> 00:14:40,354 Max, what did you want to say to ruth? 342 00:14:40,356 --> 00:14:44,158 - Um, thanks for the triple? 343 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,162 Three times the fun. 344 00:14:48,164 --> 00:14:52,466 [trap snaps] 345 00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:53,467 - You sure you don't want me to help you with that? 346 00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,202 - Oh, no, it's okay. 347 00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:57,505 You took the rat traps out of the box, you need a break. 348 00:14:57,507 --> 00:14:59,006 Plus, we couldn't afford 349 00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:00,608 The game mouse trap when I was a kid, 350 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,010 And this is the closest I'm gonna get. 351 00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,212 - So, when do you make the cupcakes? 352 00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:07,081 - Um... 353 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,950 I guess I could make them now. 354 00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:10,584 - Fun. I'll go get the coffees, right? 355 00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:12,186 - Sure, of course. Do whatever. 356 00:15:12,188 --> 00:15:16,057 You got a life. Who am I to tell you what to do? 357 00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,326 - Well, here's our martha stewart blurb, 358 00:15:18,328 --> 00:15:21,729 All blown up and ready to roll out and paste up on that wall. 359 00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:24,165 Where's ruth? - She's in the kitchen. 360 00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,934 - I was just in there. - Then she's in the bathroom. 361 00:15:26,936 --> 00:15:30,004 - Oh, my god, you're haning me! 362 00:15:30,006 --> 00:15:32,273 - She took a coffee break. 363 00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:35,543 - What? She didn't need a break. She just started 20 minutes ago. 364 00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:37,545 - [scoffs] your rich is really coming out, 365 00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:39,714 And it is not pretty. 366 00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:41,349 - Forgot my phone. 367 00:15:41,351 --> 00:15:44,051 I mean, get it together, ruth, right? 368 00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:45,753 - Watch and learn. 369 00:15:45,755 --> 00:15:48,689 Ruth, can you put the rat traps down, one in each corner, 370 00:15:48,691 --> 00:15:51,392 And then you can get coffee later after interning. 371 00:15:51,394 --> 00:15:52,660 Thanks. 372 00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:55,663 - She's kind of a tool, right? 373 00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:00,735 - Max, were you saying something? 374 00:16:00,737 --> 00:16:01,736 - Nope. 375 00:16:01,738 --> 00:16:03,170 [trap snaps] - ouch! 376 00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:05,573 Right? 377 00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,085 - Oh, look at this cage. 378 00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:21,188 I think my mom used to dance in it. 379 00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:23,624 - Here they are. 380 00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:25,493 These are the ones I had the guy hold for us. 381 00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:28,596 Only $600 for all of them. What do ya think, daddy? 382 00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:32,433 - I like 'em, doll. Wrap 'em up. 383 00:16:32,435 --> 00:16:34,602 And can daddy get something he wants? 384 00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,771 - So cute. Over the counter? 385 00:16:36,773 --> 00:16:39,140 - And that way when I'm hungover and taking a nap, 386 00:16:39,142 --> 00:16:40,908 People can still find the cupcakes. 387 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:43,010 - We could have ruth clean it 388 00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:44,445 And then paint and reupholster these. 389 00:16:44,447 --> 00:16:45,846 By the way, where is she? 390 00:16:45,848 --> 00:16:47,815 She was supposed to be here an hour ago. 391 00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,750 Text her and find out where she is. 392 00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:52,453 - Why are you so interested in where she is, what she's doing? 393 00:16:52,455 --> 00:16:54,121 Are you obsessed with her? 394 00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:56,857 - Max, I don't want to make a purse out of her skin. 395 00:16:56,859 --> 00:16:58,592 I just want her to do her job. 396 00:16:58,594 --> 00:17:00,928 Never mind. I'll just text her. 397 00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:02,430 - Well, be careful. 398 00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:04,565 Don't delete any of my penis with a hat pictures. 399 00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,167 - Even if I did, it's not a big deal. 400 00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:08,502 Oleg will always pose again. 401 00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:12,206 - Yeah, but I'll never get that little pilgrim hat back. 402 00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:15,743 - "where are you? We needed you here yesterday." 403 00:17:15,745 --> 00:17:17,978 All in caps, 'cause bosses talk in caps. 404 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:21,048 - [coughs] total tool. 405 00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,650 [phone chimes] - look at that. 406 00:17:22,652 --> 00:17:25,052 Texted right back, 'cause I'm the boss. 407 00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:26,720 She says... 408 00:17:26,722 --> 00:17:29,190 Yesterday was super hard so she's not feeling great 409 00:17:29,192 --> 00:17:31,092 And she can't come in today? 410 00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:32,993 [scoffs] that's it. She's fired. 411 00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,495 Here. You have to fire her. 412 00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:37,898 - She said she was sick, conde nasty. 413 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,601 - She's not sick, she's just taking advantage 414 00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:42,069 'cause you're too friendly with her. 415 00:17:42,071 --> 00:17:43,671 She works for us. 416 00:17:43,673 --> 00:17:45,706 - Yeah, for free. 417 00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:47,108 Why don't you just hollow her out 418 00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,710 And live inside of her, you monster? 419 00:17:49,712 --> 00:17:52,413 [phone chimes] 420 00:17:52,415 --> 00:17:56,450 Um, I don't think we were supposed to get this. 421 00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,919 "the dumb one wants me to pick up all this crappy furniture. 422 00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:01,388 "right? As if. 423 00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:04,258 I'll be at the bar in ten. Order me a bellini." 424 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,060 Oh, who's the monster now? 425 00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,828 She just called you the dumb one. 426 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,564 - Uh, she called you the dumb one. 427 00:18:10,566 --> 00:18:12,900 - It's your phone, you're the dumb one. 428 00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:15,136 - She knows I don't talk in caps, so that's to you. 429 00:18:15,138 --> 00:18:16,570 You're the dumb one. 430 00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:17,838 - Fire her. - No, you fire her. 431 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,140 - No, you fire her. 432 00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:20,908 - No, you hired her, you fire her. 433 00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:22,977 I wanted to go with molly big boobs. 434 00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:26,480 She'd be here right now with four chairs on each boob. 435 00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:28,015 - Why can't you just fire her? 436 00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:29,750 It's clear she called you the dumb one. 437 00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:32,119 - All right, fine, I know she called me the dumb one. 438 00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:35,422 But I can't fire her. I want to, but there is a block. 439 00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:37,158 Right here. 440 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,960 It comes up, and then goes, "nope!" it goes right back down. 441 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,763 I am not supposed to fire someone. 442 00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:45,933 I am the someone who's supposed to be fired. 443 00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:48,002 - So I guess I'm the boss, then. 444 00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:50,504 - Sounds like a plan. I'll be in my mom's cage. 445 00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,573 - [scoffs] 446 00:18:52,575 --> 00:18:54,942 All right, come on, you lowly worker. 447 00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:56,911 Help the boss pull these chairs out. 448 00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:59,480 - Don't yell at me, boss. I'm blocked. 449 00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:01,715 - Wish you had your enemas now, don't you? 450 00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,754 [both screaming] 451 00:19:06,756 --> 00:19:09,156 - They followed us! We walked into a trap! 452 00:19:09,158 --> 00:19:10,658 It's a vendetta! 453 00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,159 - Ugh, I can't believe this! 454 00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,494 Our intern's out having cocktails 455 00:19:13,496 --> 00:19:14,995 And I'm trapped on top of rat mountain! 456 00:19:14,997 --> 00:19:17,331 [screams] he's coming after me! 457 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,833 Whoa--whoa! 458 00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,435 [screams] - oh, my god! 459 00:19:21,437 --> 00:19:23,971 - Max! Help! 460 00:19:23,973 --> 00:19:26,640 - No, you bastards! Get off her! 461 00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:28,175 Aah! 462 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:29,910 Get off! 463 00:19:29,912 --> 00:19:32,012 - My foot's caught under this thing! 464 00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:35,149 - [grunts] 465 00:19:35,151 --> 00:19:39,019 Aah! 466 00:19:39,021 --> 00:19:41,889 - Max, that was amazing. 467 00:19:41,891 --> 00:19:44,758 You just lifted that giant thing up with one hand. 468 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,060 - I know. 469 00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:50,164 And now I'm gonna fire that bitch! 470 00:19:53,535 --> 00:19:57,538 Wow. You suck at this too. 471 00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,939 - Sorry I'm late. 472 00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,441 I was having a dream that I was sleeping in, 473 00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:03,344 Then I woke up, and I was. 474 00:20:06,881 --> 00:20:08,983 - Who's the boss? 475 00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,551 - Tony danza? 476 00:20:10,553 --> 00:20:13,087 - No, max, who's the boss? 477 00:20:13,089 --> 00:20:15,356 - I am. 478 00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:17,191 Have a seat, ruth. 479 00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:18,659 - Here? 480 00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,594 - Good call. 481 00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,731 In addition to being a boss, 482 00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,399 I am also a waitress. 483 00:20:25,401 --> 00:20:28,035 But when I do my job, I don't call people dumb. 484 00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:30,204 All right, I do, but at least it's to their face. 485 00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,239 - Oh, you're talking about that thing? 486 00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:33,674 I meant caroline. 487 00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:35,175 - No, I know you meant me, 488 00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:37,878 Because I'm not dumb and neither is caroline. 489 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,047 And one thing I figured out is that in business, 490 00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:41,882 Maybe I have to be a little more ruthless. 491 00:20:41,884 --> 00:20:44,718 Meaning no more ruth. You're fired. 492 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,822 - So, I'm not getting college credit? 493 00:20:48,824 --> 00:20:50,924 I'll probably get kicked out of school again, 494 00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:53,060 But no worries, right? 495 00:20:58,433 --> 00:21:00,668 - I'm really proud of how you stuck up for yourself. 496 00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:04,371 - You're fired. Sorry, I can't stop. 497 00:21:07,008 --> 00:21:08,008 - Look, max. 498 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:11,478 We're on our way.