1
00:00:00,910 --> 00:00:03,045
- Hey, I'm gonna go
to the bathroom real quick.
2
00:00:03,047 --> 00:00:04,579
I want to
look in the mirror
3
00:00:04,581 --> 00:00:06,381
And make sure
I'm still dead in the eyes.
4
00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:09,084
You think you can
handle my section?
5
00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:12,487
- Uh, yeah,
I think I can handle it.
6
00:00:12,489 --> 00:00:14,289
Hey, earl,
I don't know if you noticed,
7
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:15,891
But I'm running
the whole diner right now.
8
00:00:15,893 --> 00:00:18,060
What, what?
9
00:00:18,062 --> 00:00:20,562
- The customer at table ten
appears to be choking,
10
00:00:20,564 --> 00:00:22,397
And I would help,
11
00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:24,633
But the last time I gave
a white woman the heimlich,
12
00:00:24,635 --> 00:00:27,569
I did six months
in the birmingham city jail.
13
00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:30,372
- Oh, my god,
are you choking?
14
00:00:30,374 --> 00:00:32,808
Oh, my god,
I feel like you're choking!
15
00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:34,543
Is anyone here a doctor?
16
00:00:34,545 --> 00:00:36,378
What am I saying?
I forgot where I am.
17
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:39,314
Has anyone here
ever seen scrubs?
18
00:00:39,316 --> 00:00:41,483
What do you do
when a girl is choking?
19
00:00:41,485 --> 00:00:45,220
- I just back up
a few inches.
20
00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:47,589
- What do we do?
21
00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:49,758
What do we do?
This woman is choking!
22
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,461
- [choking]
23
00:00:52,463 --> 00:00:55,397
[spits]
24
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,600
Thank you so much.
25
00:00:58,602 --> 00:01:00,402
- You're welcome.
And feel free to tip me
26
00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:04,172
What you think
your life's worth.
27
00:01:04,174 --> 00:01:07,776
I feel 3 bucks
coming my way.
28
00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:10,212
- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
29
00:01:10,214 --> 00:01:11,613
[cash register bell dings]
30
00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:15,183
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ♪
31
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,128
- Here you go, guys.
I'm the only waitress.
32
00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:27,729
Sorry you waited longer
for the burger
33
00:01:27,731 --> 00:01:31,233
Than you did for that
cosby sweater to come back.
34
00:01:32,735 --> 00:01:35,804
- Max, look at my face.
I'm very upset.
35
00:01:35,806 --> 00:01:37,572
- Oh.
36
00:01:37,574 --> 00:01:42,144
Is that what that means? I just
assumed you were constipated.
37
00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:43,912
- Caroline is late again.
38
00:01:43,914 --> 00:01:45,647
And she better not use
your new cupcake shop
39
00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:47,249
As an excuse this time,
40
00:01:47,251 --> 00:01:50,719
'cause sister,
that crap ain't gonna fly.
41
00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:52,220
- First of all,
42
00:01:52,222 --> 00:01:53,822
Stop talking like you're
in a tyler perry movie.
43
00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:55,323
And secondly,
44
00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:58,193
Caroline's here;
she's in the kitchen.
45
00:01:58,195 --> 00:02:00,061
- Oh, really?
'cause when I was in there,
46
00:02:00,063 --> 00:02:01,596
You told me she was out here.
47
00:02:01,598 --> 00:02:04,199
You play me, fool.
48
00:02:04,201 --> 00:02:06,301
- Stop talking like you're
in a tyler perry sequel.
49
00:02:06,303 --> 00:02:07,302
And secondly--
50
00:02:07,304 --> 00:02:09,237
- I'll ask earl.
Earl...
51
00:02:09,239 --> 00:02:12,974
- Oop!
- Ow!
52
00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:14,809
- What happened?
Why did you scream?
53
00:02:14,811 --> 00:02:19,381
- I accidentally
sat on one of my boys!
54
00:02:19,383 --> 00:02:21,149
- Have you seen
caroline tonight?
55
00:02:21,151 --> 00:02:22,751
- Of course I have, man.
56
00:02:22,753 --> 00:02:24,886
I just saw her go down the hall
to the ladies room.
57
00:02:24,888 --> 00:02:26,555
- There. Happy?
58
00:02:26,557 --> 00:02:30,458
You've solved the big mystery,
shortlock holmes.
59
00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:34,396
- Wait, she didn't
pick up any of her--
60
00:02:34,398 --> 00:02:36,131
Caroline?
61
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:37,966
- Can't talk now, han.
62
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,768
And how many more times
do I have to ask you
63
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:41,236
To fix
this damn pie carousel?
64
00:02:41,238 --> 00:02:42,704
I mean, the temp
just isn't cool enough,
65
00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,439
And those tapiocas
are gonna turn bad.
66
00:02:44,441 --> 00:02:46,575
If you do want a lawsuit,
just keep ignoring me.
67
00:02:46,577 --> 00:02:47,943
Max, can I see you
in the kitchen
68
00:02:47,945 --> 00:02:49,311
Where I was
just a couple minutes ago
69
00:02:49,313 --> 00:02:51,980
After I got out
of the ladies room?
70
00:02:51,982 --> 00:02:54,416
- Yeah, get on that
temperature thing.
71
00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:55,951
There's so much mold
growing in there
72
00:02:55,953 --> 00:02:58,620
That cherry pie's
gonna need a pap smear.
73
00:03:00,957 --> 00:03:03,124
That was some ballsy,
bold, in-your-face
74
00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,893
Awesome lying.
75
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:08,029
- I learned it
by watching you, dad.
76
00:03:08,031 --> 00:03:09,030
Had to lie.
77
00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:10,832
We need every minute
78
00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:13,134
We can steal away from here
to get the cupcake shop ready.
79
00:03:13,136 --> 00:03:14,536
We still have to do
the second coat of paint,
80
00:03:14,538 --> 00:03:17,339
Figure out
tables and chairs...
81
00:03:17,341 --> 00:03:19,441
What?
Didn't have time for lunch.
82
00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:20,942
- Oh, I don't care.
83
00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:22,143
I'm surprised
you're using a spoon.
84
00:03:22,145 --> 00:03:25,614
I just stick my face in it.
85
00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:28,617
- So, my brilliant idea
of how we get this all done
86
00:03:28,619 --> 00:03:30,652
Is we should
get an intern to help.
87
00:03:30,654 --> 00:03:32,621
- What? No.
88
00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:34,322
I can't be a person
that has an intern.
89
00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:37,626
I can barely be a person
that doesn't have an intern.
90
00:03:37,628 --> 00:03:40,195
- Max, all businesses
use interns.
91
00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:42,964
We just have to post an ad
online at nyu or columbia,
92
00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:45,066
And we'll have
20 applicants battling it out
93
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:46,468
To do our grunt work
for credit.
94
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,036
- You make it sound like
95
00:03:48,038 --> 00:03:51,973
The hunger games:
College edition.
96
00:03:51,975 --> 00:03:54,476
Sorry, I'm against getting
people to work for free.
97
00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:55,810
- I'm with you, max.
98
00:03:55,812 --> 00:03:59,347
My people were interns
for 436 years.
99
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,619
- I am just getting used to the
idea of having my own business
100
00:04:04,621 --> 00:04:06,354
And now you want me
to be someone's boss?
101
00:04:06,356 --> 00:04:07,922
I am not the boss.
102
00:04:07,924 --> 00:04:11,192
I'm the person who talks
behind the boss's back.
103
00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:12,961
- [rings bell]
pick up.
104
00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:14,262
- Thanks.
Isn't han a tool?
105
00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:17,932
- Total tool.
- Yeah, a tiny tool.
106
00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:21,536
Like the kind you fix
your eyeglasses with.
107
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:24,205
See?
108
00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,474
That's my wheelhouse.
109
00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:28,243
Look, I don't want to ask
someone to work for free.
110
00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:29,644
We can do it all ourselves.
111
00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:31,546
- You want to do it
all yourself? Great.
112
00:04:31,548 --> 00:04:33,815
I'll write everything
you need to do on a to-do list.
113
00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:35,617
- Why don't you to-do that?
114
00:04:35,619 --> 00:04:38,219
And I will to-tear it up.
115
00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,021
- What're we tearing up?
116
00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:41,856
'cause if it's that ass,
I already got that covered.
117
00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:44,726
- Hi, andy.
That's so sweet and dirty.
118
00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:48,363
- Easy, easy. What are you,
shipping off to war?
119
00:04:48,365 --> 00:04:52,200
- Here. Take this giant bag of
skittles and look the other way.
120
00:04:52,202 --> 00:04:53,868
- [scoffs]
I'm not that easy.
121
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,604
Ooh, new mystery flavors?
122
00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:58,606
- We getting together
after you get off work?
123
00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:00,141
- It'll be really late.
124
00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:02,010
Max and I still have to go
to the cupcake shop
125
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:04,045
And tape up the windows so we
can start the trim tomorrow.
126
00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,547
- Okay, I'm not
very good at painting,
127
00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:08,149
But I can do this
while you paint.
128
00:05:08,151 --> 00:05:09,551
Yeah.
129
00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,286
Yeah, roll that paint
on that wall.
130
00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:16,224
Oh...
131
00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:20,328
- You are so freaking cute.
132
00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:23,765
- Ugh, white people.
133
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,267
- Look, why don't you guys
just get an intern?
134
00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:27,602
That's what I did
when I opened my shop.
135
00:05:27,604 --> 00:05:29,938
- You two are like
evil warlords
136
00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:33,208
Mining the souls
of innocent zombies.
137
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,876
- Oh, and keep your eyes peeled
at your store.
138
00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,845
The janitor told me
he saw some rat droppings.
139
00:05:36,847 --> 00:05:39,547
But all you gotta do
is set up some traps.
140
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:42,217
- Oh, gross.
Who's gonna do that?
141
00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:45,286
- The intern?
142
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:50,392
- So, ruth,
you are a sophomore at nyu,
143
00:05:50,394 --> 00:05:52,127
Majoring in finance?
- You know you're not
144
00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:54,028
Gonna get paid.
No money at all.
145
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:58,299
- Yup, it's in internship.
I mean, it's all good, right?
146
00:05:58,301 --> 00:06:01,770
- It's all good
until you need money.
147
00:06:01,772 --> 00:06:04,105
- Well,
we're a startup company,
148
00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:06,207
And we're launching
our very first retail store,
149
00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,843
So there's a lot of details
that you'll be responsible for.
150
00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:10,612
- There's a lot
of carrying things,
151
00:06:10,614 --> 00:06:13,114
Maybe some trapping things.
152
00:06:13,116 --> 00:06:15,250
- Oh, it's cool.
I have a car.
153
00:06:15,252 --> 00:06:18,353
- You have a car
and you want to be an intern?
154
00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:19,754
How 'bout
if we switch places?
155
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,122
I'll be the intern
with the car,
156
00:06:21,124 --> 00:06:22,357
And you can sit
on a broken folding chair
157
00:06:22,359 --> 00:06:24,125
Next to donna trump
over here.
158
00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:26,928
- Well, max and I need to have
a little meeting right now,
159
00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:28,530
So if you could go
over to the waiting room,
160
00:06:28,532 --> 00:06:29,864
That'd be great.
Okay, ruth?
161
00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:31,566
- I just wanna say
162
00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:35,804
I know my name is weird,
but like it's too late, right?
163
00:06:35,806 --> 00:06:38,473
- Max, why are you
trying to convince her
164
00:06:38,475 --> 00:06:39,774
To not be our intern?
165
00:06:39,776 --> 00:06:41,543
- Why are you not saying,
166
00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:45,146
"you may get rabies and
bubonic plague from our rats?"
167
00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,616
- Don't mention the rats.
168
00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:51,219
You're chasing them away.
And we do not have rats.
169
00:06:51,221 --> 00:06:54,289
We have rat droppings.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
170
00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,191
- You're right,
the rats are probably
171
00:06:56,193 --> 00:06:58,793
Just coming in here
to use the bathroom.
172
00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:03,164
- Look, we need an intern.
Now, who do you like so far?
173
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:04,833
- The one
with the big boobs.
174
00:07:04,835 --> 00:07:08,636
- I knew it. All you big boob
people stick together.
175
00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:11,439
- Hi, girls.
176
00:07:11,441 --> 00:07:13,274
Are you having
a beauty contest
177
00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:16,711
And didn't invite me to give
the other girls a chance?
178
00:07:16,713 --> 00:07:18,847
- We're interviewing people
to be our intern.
179
00:07:18,849 --> 00:07:20,882
- Who doesn't get paid.
180
00:07:20,884 --> 00:07:23,184
- Well, this is for you.
181
00:07:23,186 --> 00:07:25,487
- You didn't
have to do that.
182
00:07:25,489 --> 00:07:27,288
You already gave us
the money for the shop.
183
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,591
- I know,
I'm too wonderful.
184
00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,025
But it's for good luck,
185
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:32,827
And sounds like
you're gonna need it.
186
00:07:32,829 --> 00:07:36,331
Oleg says that it's
rat central station around here.
187
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:39,667
- Not rats, sophie,
just rat droppings.
188
00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:41,836
- Oh, just rat droppings.
189
00:07:41,838 --> 00:07:45,573
Oh, okay, no problem there.
[laughs]
190
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,977
- Are you out of breath
191
00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:52,714
Because you jogged here
all the way from 1974?
192
00:07:52,716 --> 00:07:54,616
- Sexy, huh?
193
00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:58,786
You should see
his badunkadunk when he jogs.
194
00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:01,523
- Well, here they are.
60 rat traps.
195
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,594
- Girls...
196
00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:08,930
I don't want to interfere
with your business,
197
00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:12,367
But what the hell
is goin' on here?
198
00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:15,270
There's no fancy tables
or pretty chairs.
199
00:08:15,272 --> 00:08:17,572
I mean, this place
is so unappealing,
200
00:08:17,574 --> 00:08:21,609
Even I don't look good here.
201
00:08:24,947 --> 00:08:26,714
- No worries.
202
00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:29,284
We have some adorable old-school
ice cream tables and chairs
203
00:08:29,286 --> 00:08:32,453
On hold at a kooky,
fun staten island junkyard.
204
00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:34,222
- Wow.
205
00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:35,790
I can't believe you didn't
just shoot a blood clot
206
00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:38,860
Trying to make
dump furniture sound cute.
207
00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:42,931
- Okay, girls, well, call me
when you have a real business.
208
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:44,966
Yeah, and I'm--
I'm gonna take this,
209
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:46,901
You know, so that the rats
don't poop in it.
210
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:50,705
Come on, badunkadunk.
211
00:08:50,707 --> 00:08:52,607
Oh, and, uh, max...
212
00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:55,510
Oh, she's good. Yes.
213
00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:59,480
- I knew it. All you big boob
people stick together.
214
00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,186
Well?
215
00:09:05,188 --> 00:09:07,956
Here we are.
216
00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:09,724
The final three.
217
00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:16,531
- Well, you know the one I like.
I'll give you a clue.
218
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,933
One, two.
219
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:21,703
- Standing in front of me
I see two beautiful,
220
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,605
Qualified young women.
221
00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:26,307
- Is she really
going all top model right now?
222
00:09:26,309 --> 00:09:29,377
- If only. They pay.
223
00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:33,314
- I'm out, tyra.
224
00:09:33,316 --> 00:09:35,283
- Ruth, congratulations.
225
00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:36,851
You've been selected
to be our intern.
226
00:09:36,853 --> 00:09:40,521
Max, will you get ruth
started on something?
227
00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,423
- Yup,
I got the internship.
228
00:09:42,425 --> 00:09:43,491
- Um...
229
00:09:43,493 --> 00:09:44,959
You know what?
I got it.
230
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,595
It's not like
you're getting paid.
231
00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:51,265
Big boob people
are so much easier.
232
00:10:09,218 --> 00:10:11,285
- As a kid,
people told you
233
00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,554
Everything you did was amazing,
didn't they?
234
00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:16,024
- I was given a lot
of positive reinforcement.
235
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,425
I think it gave me
the confidence
236
00:10:17,427 --> 00:10:19,360
That's gotten me
through this last year.
237
00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:21,929
- Well, it's time
you heard the truth.
238
00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:23,297
You stink at stuff.
239
00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:25,500
Like painting.
240
00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:28,036
- Fine.
And you stink at stuff too.
241
00:10:28,038 --> 00:10:30,204
Like telling an intern
what to do.
242
00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:32,140
- Ruth had to go
to that concert.
243
00:10:32,142 --> 00:10:34,042
She had the tickets
for weeks.
244
00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:37,111
It was ashley d and ashley b's
joint birthday. Duh.
245
00:10:37,113 --> 00:10:39,047
- And so the intern's
out having fun,
246
00:10:39,049 --> 00:10:43,651
And here we are, the bosses,
painting the walls at 3:00 a.M.
247
00:10:43,653 --> 00:10:45,019
- Well, I'm painting.
248
00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:47,321
You got a kind of
autistic ballerina thing
249
00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:49,724
Going on over there.
250
00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:51,059
- Can I ask you something?
251
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:53,061
- I don't like maroon 5.
252
00:10:53,063 --> 00:10:54,529
No matter
how many times you ask,
253
00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:56,330
The answer
will always be no.
254
00:10:56,332 --> 00:10:58,032
- Not that.
255
00:10:58,034 --> 00:11:00,134
Would it be okay if I told andy
not to come over tonight
256
00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:02,003
'cause I'm so exhausted,
257
00:11:02,005 --> 00:11:04,038
Or is it a little too early
in the relationship to be all,
258
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,275
"I don't think I can have my
legs up around my ears tonight"?
259
00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:08,776
- It's fine.
260
00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:10,244
You don't think
he'd enjoy a night off
261
00:11:10,246 --> 00:11:12,914
From constant maroon 5
badgering? He would.
262
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:15,116
- Feels awkward. Can't.
263
00:11:15,118 --> 00:11:17,418
My legs can go up there.
They're fine.
264
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:20,455
I don't want to have that
conversation right now.
265
00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:21,956
- Hey, look, I get it.
266
00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:23,858
There are conversations
you don't want to have.
267
00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:27,695
Like, "hey, ruth, here's $0.
Put down some rat traps."
268
00:11:27,697 --> 00:11:29,897
- We have a box right here
that's not touched.
269
00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,899
- Look, we're not talking
about your relationship anymore.
270
00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:33,901
We're done.
271
00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:36,471
Relax. It's probably not even
a rat, it's probably a mouse.
272
00:11:36,473 --> 00:11:39,440
Not a big deal.
273
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,376
Oh, my god! Oh, my god,
I see it! There it is!
274
00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:44,579
- The mouse?
- That is not a mouse!
275
00:11:44,581 --> 00:11:46,948
That is a car
that a mouse drives!
276
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,517
- Where did you see it?
It was in the middle, right?
277
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,686
- Shh!
- Why are you whispering?
278
00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:53,121
- I don't want him
to hear me.
279
00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:54,455
- How do you know it's a he?
280
00:11:54,457 --> 00:11:57,291
- He looked at me
kind of rapey.
281
00:11:57,293 --> 00:11:59,427
There!
He just ran behind the thing!
282
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:00,828
- What thing?
- That thing!
283
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:03,030
- This thing? Waah!
284
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,332
- What? Did you see it?
285
00:12:04,334 --> 00:12:06,033
- I don't think so.
286
00:12:06,035 --> 00:12:07,135
- Oh, you'd know so.
It has a saddle.
287
00:12:07,137 --> 00:12:08,236
- [gasps]
288
00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:13,674
- Oh, my god.
289
00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:17,378
He just opened the door with
the strength of his whiskers.
290
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,516
- He's gone.
He went into the kitchen.
291
00:12:21,518 --> 00:12:22,517
Oh, what should we do?
292
00:12:22,519 --> 00:12:23,985
Should we call the cops?
293
00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:26,521
- He doesn't have a gun.
294
00:12:26,523 --> 00:12:28,022
Let's just get out of here.
295
00:12:28,024 --> 00:12:29,991
We'll call an exterminator
in the morning.
296
00:12:29,993 --> 00:12:31,692
- [gasps]
297
00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:33,427
Too late,
he's coming back!
298
00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:36,030
Aah! He's charging us!
- He's gonna bite me!
299
00:12:36,032 --> 00:12:38,900
- [growls]
300
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,374
Waah!
- You can stop now!
301
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:50,011
You painted him to death.
302
00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:59,220
I just got a glimpse of you
at a barneys sample sale.
303
00:12:59,222 --> 00:13:02,757
- What a mess.
Who's gonna clean that up?
304
00:13:02,759 --> 00:13:06,160
- The intern?
305
00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:10,598
- Oh, andy...
306
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,267
- I know.
I'm good at this.
307
00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:16,103
- [moaning increases,
turns to cries]
308
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,105
- What?
Is there another rat?
309
00:13:18,107 --> 00:13:20,842
- What are you doing?
310
00:13:20,844 --> 00:13:23,010
- I forgot andy was here!
311
00:13:23,012 --> 00:13:27,215
And your sex voice is the same
as your murder voice.
312
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:30,117
- So are you just
gonna stand there?
313
00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:34,522
- Are you offering me
a three-way?
314
00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:37,124
[buzzer sounds]
315
00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:41,028
Well, it looks like we're
about to be a full-blown orgy.
316
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:43,464
It's 2:00 a.M.
Who could this be?
317
00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:44,632
- It's ruth.
318
00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:48,002
- Ruth?
- Yes. I'm late, right?
319
00:13:48,004 --> 00:13:49,837
- Why is she here?
320
00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:52,874
- I texted her and said
you needed an enema.
321
00:13:52,876 --> 00:13:55,943
- Okay, now, this is some
industrial-strength girl talk.
322
00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:58,446
- I had to do something
to show her who was boss.
323
00:13:58,448 --> 00:14:00,448
I learned it while interning
at conde nast.
324
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,149
We've all
gotten someone an enema
325
00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:04,085
In the middle of the night,
it's a right of passage.
326
00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:06,520
- For someone to get
their passage right?
327
00:14:06,522 --> 00:14:08,189
- Beat me to it.
328
00:14:08,191 --> 00:14:09,924
[knock on door]
329
00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:13,194
- There. Go open the door.
You know what has to happen.
330
00:14:14,529 --> 00:14:16,130
Max has to put ruth
in her place
331
00:14:16,132 --> 00:14:18,299
So she can learn
how to be a boss.
332
00:14:18,301 --> 00:14:19,967
- Oh. That's all? Good.
333
00:14:19,969 --> 00:14:21,335
'cause I thought
from your tone
334
00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:23,137
You were gonna force max
to have an enema.
335
00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:25,006
- Sorry I'm late.
336
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:29,043
I had the tiniest pot cookie and
had to pull over to take a nap.
337
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,481
Anyway, here is your enema.
Enjoy.
338
00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:35,249
They only had
the triple pack.
339
00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:36,684
- Wait, ruth?
340
00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:38,486
Max has something
she wants to say to you.
341
00:14:38,488 --> 00:14:40,354
Max, what did you
want to say to ruth?
342
00:14:40,356 --> 00:14:44,158
- Um,
thanks for the triple?
343
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,162
Three times the fun.
344
00:14:48,164 --> 00:14:52,466
[trap snaps]
345
00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:53,467
- You sure you don't want me
to help you with that?
346
00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,202
- Oh, no, it's okay.
347
00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:57,505
You took the rat traps out
of the box, you need a break.
348
00:14:57,507 --> 00:14:59,006
Plus, we couldn't afford
349
00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:00,608
The game mouse trap
when I was a kid,
350
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,010
And this is the closest
I'm gonna get.
351
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,212
- So, when do you
make the cupcakes?
352
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:07,081
- Um...
353
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,950
I guess I could
make them now.
354
00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:10,584
- Fun.
I'll go get the coffees, right?
355
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:12,186
- Sure, of course.
Do whatever.
356
00:15:12,188 --> 00:15:16,057
You got a life.
Who am I to tell you what to do?
357
00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,326
- Well, here's our
martha stewart blurb,
358
00:15:18,328 --> 00:15:21,729
All blown up and ready to roll
out and paste up on that wall.
359
00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:24,165
Where's ruth?
- She's in the kitchen.
360
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,934
- I was just in there.
- Then she's in the bathroom.
361
00:15:26,936 --> 00:15:30,004
- Oh, my god,
you're haning me!
362
00:15:30,006 --> 00:15:32,273
- She took a coffee break.
363
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:35,543
- What? She didn't need a break.
She just started 20 minutes ago.
364
00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:37,545
- [scoffs] your rich
is really coming out,
365
00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:39,714
And it is not pretty.
366
00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:41,349
- Forgot my phone.
367
00:15:41,351 --> 00:15:44,051
I mean, get it together,
ruth, right?
368
00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:45,753
- Watch and learn.
369
00:15:45,755 --> 00:15:48,689
Ruth, can you put the rat traps
down, one in each corner,
370
00:15:48,691 --> 00:15:51,392
And then you can get coffee
later after interning.
371
00:15:51,394 --> 00:15:52,660
Thanks.
372
00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:55,663
- She's kind of a tool,
right?
373
00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:00,735
- Max, were you
saying something?
374
00:16:00,737 --> 00:16:01,736
- Nope.
375
00:16:01,738 --> 00:16:03,170
[trap snaps]
- ouch!
376
00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:05,573
Right?
377
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,085
- Oh, look at this cage.
378
00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:21,188
I think my mom
used to dance in it.
379
00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:23,624
- Here they are.
380
00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:25,493
These are the ones
I had the guy hold for us.
381
00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:28,596
Only $600 for all of them.
What do ya think, daddy?
382
00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:32,433
- I like 'em, doll.
Wrap 'em up.
383
00:16:32,435 --> 00:16:34,602
And can daddy
get something he wants?
384
00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:36,771
- So cute.
Over the counter?
385
00:16:36,773 --> 00:16:39,140
- And that way when I'm
hungover and taking a nap,
386
00:16:39,142 --> 00:16:40,908
People can still
find the cupcakes.
387
00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:43,010
- We could
have ruth clean it
388
00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:44,445
And then paint
and reupholster these.
389
00:16:44,447 --> 00:16:45,846
By the way, where is she?
390
00:16:45,848 --> 00:16:47,815
She was supposed to
be here an hour ago.
391
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,750
Text her and find out
where she is.
392
00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:52,453
- Why are you so interested in
where she is, what she's doing?
393
00:16:52,455 --> 00:16:54,121
Are you obsessed with her?
394
00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:56,857
- Max, I don't want to make
a purse out of her skin.
395
00:16:56,859 --> 00:16:58,592
I just want her
to do her job.
396
00:16:58,594 --> 00:17:00,928
Never mind.
I'll just text her.
397
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:02,430
- Well, be careful.
398
00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:04,565
Don't delete any
of my penis with a hat pictures.
399
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,167
- Even if I did,
it's not a big deal.
400
00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:08,502
Oleg will always pose again.
401
00:17:08,504 --> 00:17:12,206
- Yeah, but I'll never get
that little pilgrim hat back.
402
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:15,743
- "where are you?
We needed you here yesterday."
403
00:17:15,745 --> 00:17:17,978
All in caps,
'cause bosses talk in caps.
404
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:21,048
- [coughs]
total tool.
405
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,650
[phone chimes]
- look at that.
406
00:17:22,652 --> 00:17:25,052
Texted right back,
'cause I'm the boss.
407
00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:26,720
She says...
408
00:17:26,722 --> 00:17:29,190
Yesterday was super hard
so she's not feeling great
409
00:17:29,192 --> 00:17:31,092
And she can't come in today?
410
00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:32,993
[scoffs]
that's it. She's fired.
411
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,495
Here.
You have to fire her.
412
00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:37,898
- She said she was sick,
conde nasty.
413
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,601
- She's not sick,
she's just taking advantage
414
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:42,069
'cause you're
too friendly with her.
415
00:17:42,071 --> 00:17:43,671
She works for us.
416
00:17:43,673 --> 00:17:45,706
- Yeah, for free.
417
00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:47,108
Why don't you just
hollow her out
418
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,710
And live inside of her,
you monster?
419
00:17:49,712 --> 00:17:52,413
[phone chimes]
420
00:17:52,415 --> 00:17:56,450
Um, I don't think
we were supposed to get this.
421
00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,919
"the dumb one wants me to pick
up all this crappy furniture.
422
00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:01,388
"right? As if.
423
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:04,258
I'll be at the bar in ten.
Order me a bellini."
424
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,060
Oh, who's the monster now?
425
00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,828
She just called you
the dumb one.
426
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,564
- Uh, she called you
the dumb one.
427
00:18:10,566 --> 00:18:12,900
- It's your phone,
you're the dumb one.
428
00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:15,136
- She knows I don't talk
in caps, so that's to you.
429
00:18:15,138 --> 00:18:16,570
You're the dumb one.
430
00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:17,838
- Fire her.
- No, you fire her.
431
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,140
- No, you fire her.
432
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:20,908
- No, you hired her,
you fire her.
433
00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:22,977
I wanted to go
with molly big boobs.
434
00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:26,480
She'd be here right now
with four chairs on each boob.
435
00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:28,015
- Why can't you
just fire her?
436
00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:29,750
It's clear she called you
the dumb one.
437
00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:32,119
- All right, fine, I know
she called me the dumb one.
438
00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:35,422
But I can't fire her.
I want to, but there is a block.
439
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:37,158
Right here.
440
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,960
It comes up, and then goes,
"nope!" it goes right back down.
441
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,763
I am not supposed to
fire someone.
442
00:18:42,765 --> 00:18:45,933
I am the someone
who's supposed to be fired.
443
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:48,002
- So I guess
I'm the boss, then.
444
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:50,504
- Sounds like a plan.
I'll be in my mom's cage.
445
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,573
- [scoffs]
446
00:18:52,575 --> 00:18:54,942
All right, come on,
you lowly worker.
447
00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:56,911
Help the boss
pull these chairs out.
448
00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:59,480
- Don't yell at me, boss.
I'm blocked.
449
00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:01,715
- Wish you had your enemas now,
don't you?
450
00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,754
[both screaming]
451
00:19:06,756 --> 00:19:09,156
- They followed us!
We walked into a trap!
452
00:19:09,158 --> 00:19:10,658
It's a vendetta!
453
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,159
- Ugh, I can't believe this!
454
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,494
Our intern's
out having cocktails
455
00:19:13,496 --> 00:19:14,995
And I'm trapped
on top of rat mountain!
456
00:19:14,997 --> 00:19:17,331
[screams]
he's coming after me!
457
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,833
Whoa--whoa!
458
00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,435
[screams]
- oh, my god!
459
00:19:21,437 --> 00:19:23,971
- Max! Help!
460
00:19:23,973 --> 00:19:26,640
- No, you bastards!
Get off her!
461
00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:28,175
Aah!
462
00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:29,910
Get off!
463
00:19:29,912 --> 00:19:32,012
- My foot's caught
under this thing!
464
00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:35,149
- [grunts]
465
00:19:35,151 --> 00:19:39,019
Aah!
466
00:19:39,021 --> 00:19:41,889
- Max, that was amazing.
467
00:19:41,891 --> 00:19:44,758
You just lifted that
giant thing up with one hand.
468
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,060
- I know.
469
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:50,164
And now I'm gonna
fire that bitch!
470
00:19:53,535 --> 00:19:57,538
Wow. You suck at this too.
471
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,939
- Sorry I'm late.
472
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:00,441
I was having a dream
that I was sleeping in,
473
00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:03,344
Then I woke up,
and I was.
474
00:20:06,881 --> 00:20:08,983
- Who's the boss?
475
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,551
- Tony danza?
476
00:20:10,553 --> 00:20:13,087
- No, max, who's the boss?
477
00:20:13,089 --> 00:20:15,356
- I am.
478
00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:17,191
Have a seat, ruth.
479
00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:18,659
- Here?
480
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,594
- Good call.
481
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:23,731
In addition to being a boss,
482
00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,399
I am also a waitress.
483
00:20:25,401 --> 00:20:28,035
But when I do my job,
I don't call people dumb.
484
00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:30,204
All right, I do, but at least
it's to their face.
485
00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,239
- Oh, you're talking
about that thing?
486
00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:33,674
I meant caroline.
487
00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:35,175
- No, I know you meant me,
488
00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:37,878
Because I'm not dumb
and neither is caroline.
489
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,047
And one thing I figured out
is that in business,
490
00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:41,882
Maybe I have to be
a little more ruthless.
491
00:20:41,884 --> 00:20:44,718
Meaning no more ruth.
You're fired.
492
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,822
- So, I'm not
getting college credit?
493
00:20:48,824 --> 00:20:50,924
I'll probably
get kicked out of school again,
494
00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:53,060
But no worries, right?
495
00:20:58,433 --> 00:21:00,668
- I'm really proud of how
you stuck up for yourself.
496
00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:04,371
- You're fired.
Sorry, I can't stop.
497
00:21:07,008 --> 00:21:08,008
- Look, max.
498
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:11,478
We're on our way.