1 00:00:01,051 --> 00:00:02,507 Hi, ready to order? 2 00:00:02,509 --> 00:00:04,425 Do you have anything that's really special? 3 00:00:04,427 --> 00:00:07,679 Not according to my high school guidance counselor. 4 00:00:07,681 --> 00:00:09,547 I'll have the veggie plate. 5 00:00:09,549 --> 00:00:11,516 But instead of beets, I want kale. 6 00:00:11,518 --> 00:00:14,018 And instead of broccoli, more kale. 7 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,020 I want the veggies steamed. 8 00:00:16,022 --> 00:00:17,755 And instead of dressing, I want lemons. 9 00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:19,691 Don't you need to write this down? 10 00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:21,526 I'm afraid if I start writing that down, 11 00:00:21,528 --> 00:00:24,812 it'll turn into a suicide note. 12 00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:26,231 I'm assuming this table's gonna have 13 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:27,866 a lot more of those requests. 14 00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:30,902 Yes, I could tell by the hats. 15 00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:40,632 Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 16 00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,082 Earl, I have something new I want you to try. 17 00:00:44,084 --> 00:00:46,000 That's the exact same sentence 18 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,953 that got me hooked on cocaine in the '80s. 19 00:00:48,955 --> 00:00:51,389 It's my new cupcake flavor. 20 00:00:51,391 --> 00:00:54,976 Delicious dark chocolate the ladies can't help but love. 21 00:00:54,978 --> 00:00:57,178 I'm calling it "The Earl." 22 00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:00,064 I know you got that right. 23 00:01:00,066 --> 00:01:01,316 Hi, I'm here. 24 00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,467 I was running late so I decided to hail a cab. 25 00:01:03,469 --> 00:01:05,636 And then I remembered I didn't have any money on me. 26 00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:08,022 And then I remembered I didn't have any money at all. 27 00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:10,692 So I walked the whole way here. 28 00:01:10,694 --> 00:01:12,944 The apartment's three blocks away. 29 00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:13,995 Yes, I know. 30 00:01:13,997 --> 00:01:16,480 Three blocks and 15 "Hola chicas" away. 31 00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:19,033 Well, you can't be late again. 32 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,952 I'm already worried about me being late... 33 00:01:20,954 --> 00:01:23,154 every month. 34 00:01:23,156 --> 00:01:26,207 On my way here, a homeless man asked me for money. 35 00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:28,626 And I told him that I usually always give, 36 00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:31,095 but that my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal 37 00:01:31,097 --> 00:01:34,098 and I've lost my family fortune and my Manhattan townhouse, 38 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,500 so I've been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn, 39 00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:38,469 but, in spite of it all, I'm still optimistic 40 00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,221 that you and I will achieve success 41 00:01:40,223 --> 00:01:43,007 in our exciting new cupcake business venture. 42 00:01:43,009 --> 00:01:45,476 And look what he gave me! 43 00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:48,229 You took money from a homeless man? 44 00:01:48,231 --> 00:01:50,565 I prefer to think of Bob near the bridge 45 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,150 as our first investor. 46 00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:55,036 Pickup! Special sandwich. 47 00:01:55,038 --> 00:01:57,405 I can think of even more special sandwich. 48 00:01:57,407 --> 00:02:02,043 You, me and the hot blonde giraffe. 49 00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:04,712 Well, she recently lost her dignity, 50 00:02:04,714 --> 00:02:06,347 so you might have a shot. 51 00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:09,417 Hello today! 52 00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:11,085 I have nametag for you. 53 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:14,055 Only your second day and look, nametag already. 54 00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:16,674 As new owner, I am killing it. 55 00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:17,708 Thank you. 56 00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,143 Oh, it says "Carolin." 57 00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:21,095 It's Caroline. With an "E." 58 00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,880 I'm Caroline. 59 00:02:22,882 --> 00:02:25,400 As new owner, I am sucking it. 60 00:02:25,402 --> 00:02:27,385 Just put it on. 61 00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,070 You can't tell an Asian he made a mistake. 62 00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:32,040 He'll go in the back and throw himself on a sword. 63 00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:33,691 Thank you, Mr. Lee. 64 00:02:33,693 --> 00:02:35,076 You may call me Han. 65 00:02:35,078 --> 00:02:36,694 H-a-n. 66 00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:38,613 No trap in my name. 67 00:02:38,615 --> 00:02:40,915 I'm thinking we should take 68 00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,167 the first step in our new cupcake business 69 00:02:43,169 --> 00:02:45,236 by writing "Max's Homemade Cupcakes" 70 00:02:45,238 --> 00:02:46,571 up on the specials board. 71 00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,239 No, I can't have my name up there. 72 00:02:48,241 --> 00:02:51,426 Everyone I owe money to thinks I live in Seattle. 73 00:02:51,428 --> 00:02:55,680 Oh, we used to own Seattle. 74 00:02:55,682 --> 00:02:57,932 Max, we've got to get the name out there. 75 00:02:57,934 --> 00:02:58,966 Create a buzz. 76 00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,051 Ooh, good idea! 77 00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:00,968 Let's create a buzz. 78 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,236 Exactly, in order to launch-- 79 00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:04,722 I'm mocking you. 80 00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,607 When in doubt, I'm always mocking you. 81 00:03:06,609 --> 00:03:08,109 Seriously, Max. 82 00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,478 This new cupcake business is our lifeline. 83 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,230 A way out for both of us. 84 00:03:12,232 --> 00:03:15,233 And I wanna thank you again for letting me move in. 85 00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:17,485 If there's anything I can do to help you-- 86 00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:20,154 You mean besides starting to wait on tables? 87 00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,572 I meant, anything I can do 88 00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:24,208 to help you through your breakup with Robbie. 89 00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:27,628 Oh. Thanks, but I'm fine. 90 00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:28,696 And we're working. 91 00:03:28,698 --> 00:03:31,082 Well, one of us is. 92 00:03:31,084 --> 00:03:32,934 Are you sure you're fine? 93 00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:35,136 'Cause I heard you crying last night. 94 00:03:35,138 --> 00:03:36,471 I don't cry. 95 00:03:36,473 --> 00:03:40,975 I sold my tear ducts to an organ bank for cash two years ago. 96 00:03:40,977 --> 00:03:42,543 I was on the couch. 97 00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:45,396 And I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. 98 00:03:45,398 --> 00:03:48,232 Really? What did the crying sound like? 99 00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:53,488 Like... 100 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,357 I wasn't crying. 101 00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:57,575 Well, then what were you d-- 102 00:03:57,577 --> 00:04:01,145 Oh! So none of my business. 103 00:04:01,147 --> 00:04:03,614 That's right. And remember that. 104 00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:04,982 Got it. 105 00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,284 In fact, let's just say that anything having to do 106 00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:09,170 with my bedroom, my tables, or my life-- 107 00:04:09,172 --> 00:04:10,254 you should stay away from. 108 00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:11,655 Boundaries. Got it. 109 00:04:11,657 --> 00:04:15,326 And please don't tell anyone at work 110 00:04:15,328 --> 00:04:16,828 I let you move into my apartment. 111 00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:19,330 That is one boundary we both don't want crossed. 112 00:04:19,332 --> 00:04:21,299 Why? 113 00:04:21,301 --> 00:04:23,301 Hey, roomies. 114 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,486 That's why. 115 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,265 Hope those sheets are okay. 116 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,507 Oh, don't worry about it. 117 00:04:34,627 --> 00:04:36,042 I know they're the best you could afford. 118 00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:39,827 Not really. The good ones are on my bed. 119 00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:42,079 Max, that oven is so hot. 120 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,398 Could you do me a favor and open the back door? 121 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,499 We've known each other two days 122 00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:47,901 and you're already asking for back door? 123 00:04:55,343 --> 00:04:57,344 Dear God! 124 00:04:57,346 --> 00:04:59,680 I forgot you're Equestrian Barbie. 125 00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:02,366 You came with a horse. 126 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,185 No. 127 00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:07,087 Out, horse, bad! Bad horse. 128 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:12,977 Chestnut. 129 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,363 No need to yell, he's a champion. 130 00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,315 Champion stink bomb. 131 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,401 It's smelling pretty ripe out in that yard. 132 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,537 That's not Chestnut, that's Brooklyn. 133 00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:25,939 Okay, well, I'm watching "The Champion" 134 00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:31,245 drop some steaming hot "Brooklyn" right now. 135 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,365 Max, I've been thinking about how you completely overreacted 136 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,383 to your name up on the specials board. 137 00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,419 Do you think it's a fear of success? 138 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,972 I am too poor to have a fear of success. 139 00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,591 At Wharton Business School, we learned 140 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,060 that every new venture can bring up a certain amount of fear. 141 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,229 Is there any way to do a yelp review 142 00:05:48,231 --> 00:05:50,514 of Wharton Business School? 143 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,851 Maybe you're having a hard time imagining 144 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,819 this cupcake business could ever even happen 145 00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:59,156 because nobody ever believed in you or your dreams. 146 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,391 I'm guessing. 147 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:03,310 I can make this happen, Max. 148 00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:05,646 For me, for you, for us. 149 00:06:05,648 --> 00:06:07,781 Just keep making those amazing cupcakes. 150 00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:10,484 And I'll do the rest till you believe. 151 00:06:10,486 --> 00:06:11,952 I believe everything you just said 152 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,172 and that children are the future. 153 00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,427 Max, it's me! 154 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,513 I know it's you. 155 00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:41,532 You sleep with a knife under your pillow? 156 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:45,819 It's the only home security system I can afford. 157 00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:48,021 And I'm a cutter. 158 00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:50,708 I can't sleep on that couch. 159 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,878 I think Ikea might be the Scandinavian word for sciatica. 160 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,364 And there's weird sounds in the street. 161 00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:59,717 And I don't have my white noise machine. 162 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,335 Well, that's Puerto Rican noise. 163 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,536 You'll get used to it. 164 00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:05,806 Can I just lay down here and get a little sleep? 165 00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,726 I don't even let the men I sleep with sleep with me. 166 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,478 I can't get into your issues right now. 167 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,514 I just need to sleep! 168 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,151 Fine, get in then. 169 00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,686 What is that? 170 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:22,323 Potato chips. I sleep-eat. 171 00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:24,808 Cool ranch and bacon? 172 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,893 Dude, they're delicious. 173 00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:28,996 Because of your breakup with Robbie? 174 00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,280 Just get in. 175 00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:33,534 I have to be in the city to babysit in five hours. 176 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,407 Oh, great, you're like a nightlight. 177 00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:45,179 You're so blonde. 178 00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,881 Thank you. 179 00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:53,604 Max, someone's in the living room. 180 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,273 Max, someone's in the bedroom! 181 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,691 Robbie! 182 00:07:57,693 --> 00:07:59,493 What's up, babe? 183 00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:01,195 Robbie, what are you doing here? 184 00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:02,596 We broke up. 185 00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:04,565 Still? 186 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,450 Yes, still. You hit on me. 187 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,202 And then she caught you with someone else 188 00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:09,603 in these very sheets. 189 00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:12,489 Which I'm hoping she washed. 190 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:13,707 Oh, I get it. 191 00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,377 You blew me off 'cause you like the ladies. 192 00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:19,079 Which is cool. I like the ladies, too. 193 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,715 And right now, it's the two ladies I like. 194 00:08:21,717 --> 00:08:23,717 Robbie, if I were gonna go lesbian, 195 00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:27,337 she would be the last "les" I'd "bian." 196 00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:28,972 Listen, babe-- 197 00:08:28,974 --> 00:08:30,123 You really hurt her. 198 00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,225 Stop. 199 00:08:31,227 --> 00:08:34,228 She sleep-eats trans fats thanks to you. 200 00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,296 Here, stuff all of these in your mouth. 201 00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:40,967 Got it, your thing. I'll be quiet. 202 00:08:40,969 --> 00:08:42,986 Robbie, this isn't cool at all. 203 00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:45,138 Mm-mm. 204 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,307 Showing up here after what you did? 205 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,142 You go, girl. 206 00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:52,446 I have something to say to you and you had better listen. 207 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:56,483 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. 208 00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:59,820 What are you, the relationship ghost? 209 00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:01,288 Robbie, just go! 210 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,258 I can't say what I need to in front of the relationship ghost. 211 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,093 I'll call you to come get your stuff 212 00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:07,211 and we can talk then. 213 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,495 Leave the key. 214 00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:12,599 Straight up, Max, you're breaking my heart. 215 00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:15,719 You're the only woman that I feel this way about. 216 00:09:19,557 --> 00:09:21,975 Here. 217 00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:24,228 Ladies, I don't know what's going on here, 218 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,448 but it would've been a lot sexier if I was in it. 219 00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,786 Are you okay? 220 00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:35,188 If you wanna talk, I'm here. 221 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,375 Can I get a hit off that? 222 00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:47,534 You think these are good? 223 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:50,654 God, we're poor. 224 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,927 Morning! 225 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,545 It's a beautiful day. 226 00:09:58,547 --> 00:10:02,166 These shades belong down. 227 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,268 From now on, think of me as a vampire 228 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,020 without all the annoying marketing. 229 00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:08,272 Bad news. 230 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,858 A pipe broke in the street so the water's off. 231 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,610 Good news, when I went out to get us two coffees, 232 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,897 I spoke to Juan and Javier, two city workers. 233 00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:20,000 And they assured me the water'll be on no later than 3:00. 234 00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,451 I also stopped at the health food store 235 00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,237 and got us a fresh-squeezed juice to split. 236 00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,005 It's ginger-apple-strawberry. 237 00:10:25,007 --> 00:10:26,239 That was the name of the hooker 238 00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:29,543 who had this apartment before me. 239 00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:32,713 What is this? 240 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,131 From me. 241 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,350 It says "Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night." 242 00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:39,887 I prefer my usual cash on the bedside table. 243 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,923 When I went to the cute coffee place, 244 00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:45,258 I spoke to the counter girl, Nabulangi-- 245 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:48,028 If someone named Nabulangi is making an appearance 246 00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:50,013 in the first sentence, I have to sit down. 247 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,099 And she said her manager'll be in at 11:00. 248 00:10:53,101 --> 00:10:55,602 So I thought I'd chanel it up, 249 00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:56,770 walk on over there, 250 00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:59,439 introduce myself and your fabulous cupcakes. 251 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,659 That's exactly what I was gonna do. 252 00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:05,412 I'm just gonna go say good-bye to Chestnut and get going. 253 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,297 You know, having only one cute outfit 254 00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:12,736 takes hours off getting dressed. 255 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:16,506 Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn. 256 00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:17,958 Morning, Chestnut. 257 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,927 It's a beautiful-- 258 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:24,130 No. Way. 259 00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:38,862 Look, Chanel Number Two. 260 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,482 Tell me it's mud. 261 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,150 T-tell me it's mud. 262 00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:46,670 It's mud? 263 00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,088 What is that? 264 00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,508 A carrot? 265 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,711 There's carrots in the mud? 266 00:11:58,683 --> 00:12:00,851 There's no water. 267 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,220 Oh, get it off me, please. 268 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,221 Please do something. 269 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,356 Just get it off me, get it off me. 270 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,391 Stop! 271 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,842 This is dry-clean only. 272 00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,011 Max, please, please take me 273 00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:14,064 somewhere they have a hot shower, I beg of you. 274 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,517 Calm down, it's just mud. 275 00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:17,034 Max, please-- 276 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,620 Don't touch me! 277 00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:26,818 Thank you so much for taking me to shower 278 00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:28,003 at your babysitting job. 279 00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:29,854 Well, I didn't have much of a choice. 280 00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:32,290 You pulled the pillow knife on me. 281 00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:33,491 I'll just introduce myself to your boss 282 00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:35,476 and tell her what happened. 283 00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:36,494 Look, I don't want Peach to know you were here. 284 00:12:36,496 --> 00:12:38,613 This is a job. Not a meet-and-greet. 285 00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:39,814 Got it. 286 00:12:39,816 --> 00:12:41,333 You get in there, you take a five-minute shower, 287 00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,817 clean it up and go. 288 00:12:42,819 --> 00:12:45,437 Fine, I'll hide in the hallway till she's gone. 289 00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,840 No need, just follow me in. She never really looks at me. 290 00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:50,175 Morning! 291 00:12:50,177 --> 00:12:52,794 Hi, Max. 292 00:12:52,796 --> 00:12:55,463 Go! 293 00:12:55,465 --> 00:12:56,497 Hey, Peach. 294 00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,383 Uh, hair and makeup. 295 00:12:58,385 --> 00:12:59,634 What's the big occasion? 296 00:12:59,636 --> 00:13:01,886 Pilates. 297 00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:04,005 Max, good news. 298 00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:06,941 They found a way to make diamonds more sparkly? 299 00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:10,812 I got Brad and Angelina a playdate 300 00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:13,114 with another set of twins in the building. 301 00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:14,449 It starts in five minutes. 302 00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:15,567 Cool, what are their names? 303 00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:17,685 6B. 304 00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:19,654 Bye-bye, Brangelina. 305 00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:21,122 Mommy loves you. 306 00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:23,208 Guys? Before you leave, 307 00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,459 stop at this one. 308 00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:25,860 Angelina could use a little help. 309 00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:28,880 Contour that neck, she's a fatty. 310 00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,665 Peach, come on, that's baby fat. 311 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,168 Still, kids can be cruel. 312 00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:35,970 Don't you listen to your mommy, Angelina. 313 00:13:35,972 --> 00:13:38,139 She never eats. 314 00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:41,309 Oh, no, she doesn't. 315 00:13:43,012 --> 00:13:44,696 Here it is. 316 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,181 Caroline with an "E." 317 00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:48,382 I have your new and correct nametag. 318 00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:49,768 Oh, thank you, Han. 319 00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,720 Oh. 320 00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,939 I've seen something I should not have. 321 00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:58,559 I will just put correct nametag here on counter. 322 00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:03,031 So sorry, but many thank yous. 323 00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:04,532 What are you doing? 324 00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:06,751 I know you said you don't want it up there. 325 00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:08,736 But now that you see it... 326 00:14:08,738 --> 00:14:10,422 How does it feel? 327 00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:12,006 It feels like you're not listening to me 328 00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:13,508 at this job or at my other job. 329 00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,427 I said a five-minute shower and get out. 330 00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:17,011 Did you take a nap at Peach's? 331 00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:18,596 The thread count was calling to me. 332 00:14:18,598 --> 00:14:21,382 Peach found blonde hairs in her bed 333 00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,351 and thought her husband was cheating on her. 334 00:14:23,353 --> 00:14:26,137 Which he is, but that's not the point. 335 00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:28,807 You almost ruined a perfectly happy fake marriage, 336 00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:30,475 and there are innocent children involved. 337 00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,977 Well, I have some good news. 338 00:14:32,979 --> 00:14:34,596 Look, it's Nabulangi. 339 00:14:34,598 --> 00:14:36,614 I invited her in to taste your amazing cupcakes. 340 00:14:36,616 --> 00:14:39,234 And when she loves them, we'll have an in at her bakery. 341 00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:40,819 Come over and say hello. 342 00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,104 No, I can't now. I wanna call Robbie before we get too busy. 343 00:14:43,106 --> 00:14:44,789 Tell him when to come over and get his stuff. 344 00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:45,990 Max, wait. 345 00:14:45,992 --> 00:14:47,559 No, don't distract me. 346 00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,210 I wanna sound cool and hot and all like, 347 00:14:49,212 --> 00:14:52,113 "You can't have me anymore, sucka." 348 00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:53,214 Max-- 349 00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:54,799 Robbie, it's me. 350 00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:57,969 Classy burp on your outgoing message. 351 00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,287 Max, I-- 352 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,338 No. 353 00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:02,223 I need you to come get your stuff tomorrow. 354 00:15:02,225 --> 00:15:03,842 I don't know how you've been surviving 355 00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:07,011 without your chin-up bar and Axe body spray. 356 00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:07,979 Max, hang up. 357 00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,431 I already called him. 358 00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,484 You called Robbie? 359 00:15:12,486 --> 00:15:13,568 You've done so much for me. 360 00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,403 I wanted to do something for you, too. 361 00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:16,905 So I called Robbie and I had him come over, 362 00:15:16,907 --> 00:15:18,356 and I gave him his stuff. 363 00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,608 Now you won't have to go through with all that mess. 364 00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,312 And I think you'd be pleased, I really let him have it. 365 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,648 What is with you and boundaries? 366 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,334 You're in my bed, you're in my boss' bed, 367 00:15:29,336 --> 00:15:30,785 and now you go and call Robbie? 368 00:15:30,787 --> 00:15:32,587 You're like-- you're like your big-ass horse. 369 00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,488 Charging in everywhere you don't belong. 370 00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:36,657 I thought I was doing you a favor. 371 00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:39,594 In spite of what you say about the sounds I heard 372 00:15:39,596 --> 00:15:41,045 coming from your bedroom the other night, 373 00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:42,680 I know you're upset. 374 00:15:42,682 --> 00:15:46,334 I was masturbating. 375 00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:50,471 I love my job. 376 00:15:50,473 --> 00:15:53,825 I need to see you outside. Now. 377 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,860 Don't get involved with her. 378 00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,845 She takes money from the homeless. 379 00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:59,898 Not true, Bob's an investor. 380 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,115 Be right back. 381 00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:04,319 Good cupcake, right? 382 00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:08,823 Max, I don't know how smart that was, 383 00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,459 blowing by our only potential business contact. 384 00:16:11,461 --> 00:16:14,829 You stole my breakup scene. 385 00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:16,714 The only remotely good thing about breaking up with a guy 386 00:16:16,716 --> 00:16:18,699 is telling him how much better you are than him 387 00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:20,385 when you give him back his stuff. 388 00:16:20,387 --> 00:16:22,003 I don't know if you noticed, 389 00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:23,888 but my entertainment budget is pretty low 390 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,640 and I was really looking forward to that. 391 00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:28,176 And then you went and stole it. 392 00:16:28,178 --> 00:16:29,727 But I guess you couldn't help it, 393 00:16:29,729 --> 00:16:32,530 'cause that's what you channings do, you steal things. 394 00:16:33,715 --> 00:16:35,233 Huh. 395 00:16:35,235 --> 00:16:36,651 Interesting. 396 00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,487 Okay, you wanted a breakup scene? 397 00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:40,688 You're in one. 398 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,023 I'm breaking up with you. 399 00:16:42,025 --> 00:16:43,224 Oh, okay. 400 00:16:43,226 --> 00:16:45,693 The cupcake business is over, the dream is dead. 401 00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:48,729 Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi will be devastated. 402 00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,416 I don't need you or your cupcakes to survive. 403 00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:52,617 I'll figure something else out. 404 00:16:52,619 --> 00:16:55,420 Because, aside from your constant Wharton putdowns, 405 00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:56,838 I'm a business genius 406 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,706 and I will always land on my feet. 407 00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,008 Oh, really? 408 00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,260 'Cause today you kind of landed on your front. 409 00:17:02,262 --> 00:17:03,962 We're done. 410 00:17:03,964 --> 00:17:06,247 After work tonight, I'll get my things and be gone. 411 00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,600 Ooh, you gonna load up your dream-filled wheelie bag 412 00:17:08,602 --> 00:17:11,252 and ride away on sir muds-a-lot? 413 00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:14,138 Go ahead. Be as negative as you want. 414 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,242 'Cause you're in charge of your own future again. 415 00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:19,125 Oh, joke's on you. I don't have a future. 416 00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:33,090 Max... 417 00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:34,859 Are you up? 418 00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:36,594 No. 419 00:17:36,596 --> 00:17:39,246 Max, are you mad? 420 00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,247 Yes. 421 00:17:40,249 --> 00:17:43,033 Are you up and mad? 422 00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:45,503 No and yes. 423 00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,955 Oh, your bed's so soft. 424 00:17:47,957 --> 00:17:51,459 That's my boob. 425 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,929 I know I moved out, but I came back. 426 00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,414 I took the rest of our dead dream money 427 00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:00,434 and bought some cocktails for myself and some people. 428 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:02,720 And myself. 429 00:18:02,722 --> 00:18:04,355 Did you bring me back any of those? 430 00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:06,640 'Cause I can't listen to this sober. 431 00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:09,059 Max... 432 00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:12,396 I have nothing. 433 00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:15,232 I really need the cupcake business. 434 00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:18,435 I can be different. 435 00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:19,687 No, you can't. 436 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,573 No, I can't. 437 00:18:22,575 --> 00:18:26,160 But I can be better. 438 00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:27,611 Please? 439 00:18:27,613 --> 00:18:30,381 Please, let's do this. 440 00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,583 I know you have a fear of success. 441 00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:36,286 You do, because no one ever believed in your dreams. 442 00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:39,957 But I believe in your dreams. 443 00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:41,976 We have a dream. 444 00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,461 God, you are so drunk. 445 00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:48,399 So you probably won't even remember this. 446 00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:53,204 I'm sorry I said that stuff about your father. 447 00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,905 Did you hear me? 448 00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:58,642 Max, are you up? 449 00:18:58,644 --> 00:19:04,582 Hey, do you have any more of those poor people chips? 450 00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:08,819 What's up, hangover three? 451 00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:10,087 Why are these up? 452 00:19:10,089 --> 00:19:13,591 I thought we were vampires. 453 00:19:13,593 --> 00:19:16,710 Here, I took the rest of last night's cupcake money, 454 00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:20,648 and brought you a coffee and a fresh juice. 455 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,883 Which means that, after two days in business, 456 00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:26,303 we are $23 down from where we were. 457 00:19:26,305 --> 00:19:29,890 So we're still building our cupcake business? 458 00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:31,108 Sure. 459 00:19:31,110 --> 00:19:33,110 All we need is how much? 460 00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,646 $250,000. 461 00:19:35,648 --> 00:19:38,616 Which is awesome. 462 00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:41,902 Max, I'm sorry I crossed all those boundaries. 463 00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,120 It's cool. 464 00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:45,072 Me and drunk Caroline worked it all out. 465 00:19:45,074 --> 00:19:47,074 In fact... 466 00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:52,046 She signed this paper. 467 00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:55,983 "I, drunk Caroline, am a..." 468 00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,801 What's that word? 469 00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:00,804 Punk ass ho. 470 00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,256 Thanks. 471 00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:05,809 "I, drunk Caroline, am a punk ass ho. 472 00:20:05,811 --> 00:20:08,312 "I promise to keep my big mouth shut, 473 00:20:08,314 --> 00:20:11,232 "and replace all of Max's poor people chips. 474 00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:17,220 I will no longer meddle in her relation-chips." 475 00:20:17,222 --> 00:20:20,574 You laughed about that until you threw up. 476 00:20:20,576 --> 00:20:21,859 Oh, and if you're wondering, 477 00:20:21,861 --> 00:20:25,112 no, the puke stains will not void this contract. 478 00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:31,234 God! 479 00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:33,587 I forgot again that we have a horse. 480 00:20:33,589 --> 00:20:35,089 Max, get him out of here. 481 00:20:35,091 --> 00:20:37,319 He doesn't know I'm a waitress. 482 00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:41,089 Chestnut. 483 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:47,518 He is a champion. 484 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,304 He learned that a lot faster than you did. 485 00:20:49,773 --> 00:20:57,000 Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net