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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Hi, ready to order?
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Do you have anything
that's really special?
3
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Not according to my
high school guidance counselor.
4
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I'll have the veggie plate.
5
00:00:09,549 --> 00:00:11,516
But instead of beets,
I want kale.
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And instead of broccoli,
more kale.
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I want the veggies steamed.
8
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And instead of dressing,
I want lemons.
9
00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:19,691
Don't you need
to write this down?
10
00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:21,526
I'm afraid if I start
writing that down,
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it'll turn into a suicide note.
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I'm assuming
this table's gonna have
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a lot more of those requests.
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Yes, I could tell by the hats.
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Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
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Earl, I have something new
I want you to try.
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00:00:44,084 --> 00:00:46,000
That's the exact same sentence
18
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,953
that got me hooked
on cocaine in the '80s.
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It's my new cupcake flavor.
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00:00:51,391 --> 00:00:54,976
Delicious dark chocolate
the ladies can't help but love.
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I'm calling it
"The Earl."
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I know you got that right.
23
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Hi, I'm here.
24
00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,467
I was running late
so I decided to hail a cab.
25
00:01:03,469 --> 00:01:05,636
And then I remembered I didn't
have any money on me.
26
00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:08,022
And then I remembered
I didn't have any money at all.
27
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So I walked the whole way here.
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The apartment's
three blocks away.
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Yes, I know.
30
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Three blocks
and 15 "Hola chicas" away.
31
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Well, you can't be late again.
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00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,952
I'm already worried
about me being late...
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00:01:20,954 --> 00:01:23,154
every month.
34
00:01:23,156 --> 00:01:26,207
On my way here, a homeless man
asked me for money.
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00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:28,626
And I told him
that I usually always give,
36
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but that my father was indicted
in a Ponzi scandal
37
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and I've lost my family fortune
and my Manhattan townhouse,
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so I've been sleeping
on a couch in Brooklyn,
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but, in spite of it all,
I'm still optimistic
40
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that you and I
will achieve success
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00:01:40,223 --> 00:01:43,007
in our exciting new cupcake
business venture.
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And look what he gave me!
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00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:48,229
You took money
from a homeless man?
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I prefer to think
of Bob near the bridge
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as our first investor.
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Pickup!
Special sandwich.
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I can think
of even more special sandwich.
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You, me
and the hot blonde giraffe.
49
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:04,712
Well, she recently
lost her dignity,
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00:02:04,714 --> 00:02:06,347
so you might have a shot.
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00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:09,417
Hello today!
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I have nametag for you.
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Only your second day
and look, nametag already.
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As new owner, I am killing it.
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Thank you.
56
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Oh, it says "Carolin."
57
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It's Caroline.
With an "E."
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I'm Caroline.
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As new owner, I am sucking it.
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Just put it on.
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You can't tell an Asian
he made a mistake.
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He'll go in the back
and throw himself on a sword.
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Thank you,
Mr. Lee.
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You may call me Han.
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H-a-n.
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No trap in my name.
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I'm thinking we should take
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00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,167
the first step
in our new cupcake business
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by writing
"Max's Homemade Cupcakes"
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00:02:45,238 --> 00:02:46,571
up on the specials board.
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00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,239
No, I can't have
my name up there.
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Everyone I owe money to
thinks I live in Seattle.
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00:02:51,428 --> 00:02:55,680
Oh, we used to own Seattle.
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00:02:55,682 --> 00:02:57,932
Max, we've got to get
the name out there.
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Create a buzz.
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00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,051
Ooh, good idea!
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Let's create a buzz.
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00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,236
Exactly,
in order to launch--
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I'm mocking you.
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00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,607
When in doubt,
I'm always mocking you.
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Seriously, Max.
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00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,478
This new cupcake business
is our lifeline.
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A way out for both of us.
84
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And I wanna thank you again
for letting me move in.
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00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:17,485
If there's anything
I can do to help you--
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You mean besides
starting to wait on tables?
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I meant, anything I can do
88
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to help you through
your breakup with Robbie.
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Oh. Thanks,
but I'm fine.
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And we're working.
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Well, one of us is.
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Are you sure you're fine?
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00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:35,136
'Cause I heard you
crying last night.
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I don't cry.
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I sold my tear ducts to an organ
bank for cash two years ago.
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I was on the couch.
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00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:45,396
And I heard you crying alone
in your bedroom.
98
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Really?
What did the crying sound like?
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Like...
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I wasn't crying.
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Well, then what
were you d--
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Oh! So none of
my business.
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That's right.
And remember that.
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Got it.
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00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,284
In fact, let's just say
that anything having to do
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00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:09,170
with my bedroom, my tables,
or my life--
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you should stay away from.
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Boundaries.
Got it.
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00:04:11,657 --> 00:04:15,326
And please
don't tell anyone at work
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I let you move
into my apartment.
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That is one boundary
we both don't want crossed.
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Why?
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Hey, roomies.
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That's why.
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Hope those sheets are okay.
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Oh, don't worry about it.
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I know they're the best
you could afford.
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Not really.
The good ones are on my bed.
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Max, that oven is so hot.
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Could you do me a favor
and open the back door?
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We've known each other two days
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and you're already
asking for back door?
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Dear God!
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I forgot
you're Equestrian Barbie.
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You came with a horse.
126
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No.
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00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:07,087
Out, horse, bad!
Bad horse.
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Chestnut.
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No need to yell,
he's a champion.
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Champion stink bomb.
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It's smelling pretty ripe
out in that yard.
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That's not Chestnut,
that's Brooklyn.
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Okay, well, I'm watching
"The Champion"
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drop some steaming hot
"Brooklyn" right now.
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Max, I've been thinking about
how you completely overreacted
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to your name
up on the specials board.
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Do you think it's
a fear of success?
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I am too poor
to have a fear of success.
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At Wharton Business School,
we learned
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00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,060
that every new venture can bring
up a certain amount of fear.
141
00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,229
Is there any way
to do a yelp review
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00:05:48,231 --> 00:05:50,514
of Wharton Business School?
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00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,851
Maybe you're having
a hard time imagining
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00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,819
this cupcake business
could ever even happen
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because nobody ever believed
in you or your dreams.
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I'm guessing.
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I can make this happen, Max.
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00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:05,646
For me, for you, for us.
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00:06:05,648 --> 00:06:07,781
Just keep making
those amazing cupcakes.
150
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:10,484
And I'll do the rest
till you believe.
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I believe
everything you just said
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and that children
are the future.
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Max, it's me!
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I know it's you.
155
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:41,532
You sleep with a knife
under your pillow?
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00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:45,819
It's the only home security
system I can afford.
157
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:48,021
And I'm a cutter.
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00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:50,708
I can't sleep on that couch.
159
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,878
I think Ikea might be the
Scandinavian word for sciatica.
160
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,364
And there's weird sounds
in the street.
161
00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:59,717
And I don't have
my white noise machine.
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00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,335
Well, that's
Puerto Rican noise.
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00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,536
You'll get used to it.
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Can I just lay down here
and get a little sleep?
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00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,726
I don't even let the men
I sleep with sleep with me.
166
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,478
I can't get into
your issues right now.
167
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I just need to sleep!
168
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,151
Fine, get in then.
169
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,686
What is that?
170
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:22,323
Potato chips.
I sleep-eat.
171
00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:24,808
Cool ranch and bacon?
172
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,893
Dude, they're delicious.
173
00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:28,996
Because of your breakup
with Robbie?
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00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,280
Just get in.
175
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:33,534
I have to be in the city
to babysit in five hours.
176
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,407
Oh, great,
you're like a nightlight.
177
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:45,179
You're so blonde.
178
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,881
Thank you.
179
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:53,604
Max, someone's
in the living room.
180
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,273
Max, someone's in the bedroom!
181
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,691
Robbie!
182
00:07:57,693 --> 00:07:59,493
What's up, babe?
183
00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:01,195
Robbie, what are you
doing here?
184
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:02,596
We broke up.
185
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:04,565
Still?
186
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,450
Yes, still.
You hit on me.
187
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,202
And then she caught you
with someone else
188
00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:09,603
in these very sheets.
189
00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:12,489
Which I'm hoping she washed.
190
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:13,707
Oh, I get it.
191
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,377
You blew me off
'cause you like the ladies.
192
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:19,079
Which is cool.
I like the ladies, too.
193
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,715
And right now,
it's the two ladies I like.
194
00:08:21,717 --> 00:08:23,717
Robbie, if I were
gonna go lesbian,
195
00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:27,337
she would be the last "les"
I'd "bian."
196
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:28,972
Listen, babe--
197
00:08:28,974 --> 00:08:30,123
You really hurt her.
198
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,225
Stop.
199
00:08:31,227 --> 00:08:34,228
She sleep-eats trans fats
thanks to you.
200
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,296
Here, stuff all of these
in your mouth.
201
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:40,967
Got it, your thing.
I'll be quiet.
202
00:08:40,969 --> 00:08:42,986
Robbie, this isn't cool at all.
203
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:45,138
Mm-mm.
204
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,307
Showing up here
after what you did?
205
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,142
You go, girl.
206
00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:52,446
I have something to say to you
and you had better listen.
207
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:56,483
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
208
00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:59,820
What are you,
the relationship ghost?
209
00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:01,288
Robbie, just go!
210
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,258
I can't say what I need to in
front of the relationship ghost.
211
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,093
I'll call you
to come get your stuff
212
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:07,211
and we can talk then.
213
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,495
Leave the key.
214
00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:12,599
Straight up, Max,
you're breaking my heart.
215
00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:15,719
You're the only woman
that I feel this way about.
216
00:09:19,557 --> 00:09:21,975
Here.
217
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:24,228
Ladies, I don't know
what's going on here,
218
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,448
but it would've been
a lot sexier if I was in it.
219
00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,786
Are you okay?
220
00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:35,188
If you wanna talk, I'm here.
221
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,375
Can I get a hit off that?
222
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:47,534
You think these are good?
223
00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:50,654
God, we're poor.
224
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,927
Morning!
225
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,545
It's a beautiful day.
226
00:09:58,547 --> 00:10:02,166
These shades belong down.
227
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,268
From now on, think of me
as a vampire
228
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,020
without all
the annoying marketing.
229
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:08,272
Bad news.
230
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,858
A pipe broke in the street
so the water's off.
231
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,610
Good news, when I went out
to get us two coffees,
232
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,897
I spoke to Juan and Javier,
two city workers.
233
00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:20,000
And they assured me the water'll
be on no later than 3:00.
234
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,451
I also stopped
at the health food store
235
00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,237
and got us
a fresh-squeezed juice to split.
236
00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,005
It's ginger-apple-strawberry.
237
00:10:25,007 --> 00:10:26,239
That was the name of the hooker
238
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:29,543
who had this apartment
before me.
239
00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:32,713
What is this?
240
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,131
From me.
241
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,350
It says "Thanks for letting me
sleep in your bed last night."
242
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:39,887
I prefer my usual cash
on the bedside table.
243
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,923
When I went
to the cute coffee place,
244
00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:45,258
I spoke to the counter girl,
Nabulangi--
245
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:48,028
If someone named Nabulangi
is making an appearance
246
00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:50,013
in the first sentence,
I have to sit down.
247
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,099
And she said
her manager'll be in at 11:00.
248
00:10:53,101 --> 00:10:55,602
So I thought I'd chanel it up,
249
00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:56,770
walk on over there,
250
00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:59,439
introduce myself
and your fabulous cupcakes.
251
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,659
That's exactly what
I was gonna do.
252
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:05,412
I'm just gonna go say good-bye
to Chestnut and get going.
253
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,297
You know, having
only one cute outfit
254
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:12,736
takes hours off
getting dressed.
255
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:16,506
Oh. That is a lot
of fresh Brooklyn.
256
00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:17,958
Morning, Chestnut.
257
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,927
It's a beautiful--
258
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:24,130
No. Way.
259
00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:38,862
Look, Chanel Number Two.
260
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,482
Tell me it's mud.
261
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,150
T-tell me it's mud.
262
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:46,670
It's mud?
263
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,088
What is that?
264
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,508
A carrot?
265
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,711
There's carrots in the mud?
266
00:11:58,683 --> 00:12:00,851
There's no water.
267
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,220
Oh, get it off me, please.
268
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,221
Please do something.
269
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,356
Just get it off me,
get it off me.
270
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,391
Stop!
271
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,842
This is dry-clean only.
272
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,011
Max, please, please take me
273
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:14,064
somewhere they have
a hot shower, I beg of you.
274
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,517
Calm down, it's just mud.
275
00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:17,034
Max, please--
276
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,620
Don't touch me!
277
00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:26,818
Thank you so much
for taking me to shower
278
00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:28,003
at your babysitting job.
279
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:29,854
Well, I didn't have
much of a choice.
280
00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:32,290
You pulled the pillow knife
on me.
281
00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:33,491
I'll just introduce myself
to your boss
282
00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:35,476
and tell her what happened.
283
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:36,494
Look, I don't want Peach
to know you were here.
284
00:12:36,496 --> 00:12:38,613
This is a job.
Not a meet-and-greet.
285
00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:39,814
Got it.
286
00:12:39,816 --> 00:12:41,333
You get in there, you
take a five-minute shower,
287
00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,817
clean it up and go.
288
00:12:42,819 --> 00:12:45,437
Fine, I'll hide in the hallway
till she's gone.
289
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,840
No need, just follow me in.
She never really looks at me.
290
00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:50,175
Morning!
291
00:12:50,177 --> 00:12:52,794
Hi, Max.
292
00:12:52,796 --> 00:12:55,463
Go!
293
00:12:55,465 --> 00:12:56,497
Hey, Peach.
294
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,383
Uh, hair and makeup.
295
00:12:58,385 --> 00:12:59,634
What's the big occasion?
296
00:12:59,636 --> 00:13:01,886
Pilates.
297
00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:04,005
Max, good news.
298
00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:06,941
They found a way
to make diamonds more sparkly?
299
00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:10,812
I got Brad and Angelina
a playdate
300
00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:13,114
with another set of twins
in the building.
301
00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:14,449
It starts in five minutes.
302
00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:15,567
Cool, what are their names?
303
00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:17,685
6B.
304
00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:19,654
Bye-bye,
Brangelina.
305
00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:21,122
Mommy loves you.
306
00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:23,208
Guys?
Before you leave,
307
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,459
stop at this one.
308
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:25,860
Angelina could
use a little help.
309
00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:28,880
Contour that neck,
she's a fatty.
310
00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,665
Peach, come on,
that's baby fat.
311
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,168
Still, kids can be cruel.
312
00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:35,970
Don't you listen
to your mommy, Angelina.
313
00:13:35,972 --> 00:13:38,139
She never eats.
314
00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:41,309
Oh, no, she doesn't.
315
00:13:43,012 --> 00:13:44,696
Here it is.
316
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,181
Caroline with an "E."
317
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:48,382
I have your new
and correct nametag.
318
00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:49,768
Oh, thank you, Han.
319
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,720
Oh.
320
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,939
I've seen something
I should not have.
321
00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:58,559
I will just put correct nametag
here on counter.
322
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:03,031
So sorry, but many thank yous.
323
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:04,532
What are you doing?
324
00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:06,751
I know you said
you don't want it up there.
325
00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:08,736
But now that you see it...
326
00:14:08,738 --> 00:14:10,422
How does it feel?
327
00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:12,006
It feels like
you're not listening to me
328
00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:13,508
at this job or at my other job.
329
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,427
I said a five-minute shower
and get out.
330
00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:17,011
Did you take a nap at Peach's?
331
00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:18,596
The thread count
was calling to me.
332
00:14:18,598 --> 00:14:21,382
Peach found blonde hairs
in her bed
333
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,351
and thought her husband
was cheating on her.
334
00:14:23,353 --> 00:14:26,137
Which he is,
but that's not the point.
335
00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:28,807
You almost ruined
a perfectly happy fake marriage,
336
00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:30,475
and there are
innocent children involved.
337
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,977
Well, I have some good news.
338
00:14:32,979 --> 00:14:34,596
Look, it's Nabulangi.
339
00:14:34,598 --> 00:14:36,614
I invited her in
to taste your amazing cupcakes.
340
00:14:36,616 --> 00:14:39,234
And when she loves them,
we'll have an in at her bakery.
341
00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:40,819
Come over and say hello.
342
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,104
No, I can't now. I wanna call
Robbie before we get too busy.
343
00:14:43,106 --> 00:14:44,789
Tell him when to come over
and get his stuff.
344
00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:45,990
Max, wait.
345
00:14:45,992 --> 00:14:47,559
No, don't distract me.
346
00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,210
I wanna sound cool and hot
and all like,
347
00:14:49,212 --> 00:14:52,113
"You can't have me
anymore, sucka."
348
00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:53,214
Max--
349
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:54,799
Robbie, it's me.
350
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:57,969
Classy burp
on your outgoing message.
351
00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,287
Max, I--
352
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,338
No.
353
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:02,223
I need you to come
get your stuff tomorrow.
354
00:15:02,225 --> 00:15:03,842
I don't know how
you've been surviving
355
00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:07,011
without your chin-up bar
and Axe body spray.
356
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:07,979
Max, hang up.
357
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,431
I already called him.
358
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,484
You called Robbie?
359
00:15:12,486 --> 00:15:13,568
You've done so much for me.
360
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,403
I wanted to do
something for you, too.
361
00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:16,905
So I called Robbie
and I had him come over,
362
00:15:16,907 --> 00:15:18,356
and I gave him his stuff.
363
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,608
Now you won't have to go through
with all that mess.
364
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,312
And I think you'd be pleased,
I really let him have it.
365
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,648
What is with you
and boundaries?
366
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,334
You're in my bed,
you're in my boss' bed,
367
00:15:29,336 --> 00:15:30,785
and now you go and call Robbie?
368
00:15:30,787 --> 00:15:32,587
You're like--
you're like your big-ass horse.
369
00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,488
Charging in everywhere
you don't belong.
370
00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:36,657
I thought I was
doing you a favor.
371
00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:39,594
In spite of what you say
about the sounds I heard
372
00:15:39,596 --> 00:15:41,045
coming from your bedroom
the other night,
373
00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:42,680
I know you're upset.
374
00:15:42,682 --> 00:15:46,334
I was masturbating.
375
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:50,471
I love my job.
376
00:15:50,473 --> 00:15:53,825
I need to see you
outside. Now.
377
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,860
Don't get involved with her.
378
00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,845
She takes money
from the homeless.
379
00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:59,898
Not true, Bob's an investor.
380
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,115
Be right back.
381
00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:04,319
Good cupcake, right?
382
00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:08,823
Max, I don't know
how smart that was,
383
00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,459
blowing by our only potential
business contact.
384
00:16:11,461 --> 00:16:14,829
You stole my breakup scene.
385
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:16,714
The only remotely good thing
about breaking up with a guy
386
00:16:16,716 --> 00:16:18,699
is telling him how much better
you are than him
387
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:20,385
when you give him back
his stuff.
388
00:16:20,387 --> 00:16:22,003
I don't know if you noticed,
389
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:23,888
but my entertainment budget
is pretty low
390
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,640
and I was really
looking forward to that.
391
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:28,176
And then you went and stole it.
392
00:16:28,178 --> 00:16:29,727
But I guess
you couldn't help it,
393
00:16:29,729 --> 00:16:32,530
'cause that's what you channings
do, you steal things.
394
00:16:33,715 --> 00:16:35,233
Huh.
395
00:16:35,235 --> 00:16:36,651
Interesting.
396
00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,487
Okay, you wanted
a breakup scene?
397
00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:40,688
You're in one.
398
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,023
I'm breaking up with you.
399
00:16:42,025 --> 00:16:43,224
Oh, okay.
400
00:16:43,226 --> 00:16:45,693
The cupcake business is over,
the dream is dead.
401
00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:48,729
Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi
will be devastated.
402
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,416
I don't need you
or your cupcakes to survive.
403
00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:52,617
I'll figure something else out.
404
00:16:52,619 --> 00:16:55,420
Because, aside from your
constant Wharton putdowns,
405
00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:56,838
I'm a business genius
406
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,706
and I will always land
on my feet.
407
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,008
Oh, really?
408
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,260
'Cause today you kind of
landed on your front.
409
00:17:02,262 --> 00:17:03,962
We're done.
410
00:17:03,964 --> 00:17:06,247
After work tonight,
I'll get my things and be gone.
411
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,600
Ooh, you gonna load up
your dream-filled wheelie bag
412
00:17:08,602 --> 00:17:11,252
and ride away
on sir muds-a-lot?
413
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:14,138
Go ahead.
Be as negative as you want.
414
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,242
'Cause you're in charge
of your own future again.
415
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:19,125
Oh, joke's on you.
I don't have a future.
416
00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:33,090
Max...
417
00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:34,859
Are you up?
418
00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:36,594
No.
419
00:17:36,596 --> 00:17:39,246
Max, are you mad?
420
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,247
Yes.
421
00:17:40,249 --> 00:17:43,033
Are you up and mad?
422
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:45,503
No and yes.
423
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,955
Oh, your bed's so soft.
424
00:17:47,957 --> 00:17:51,459
That's my boob.
425
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,929
I know I moved out,
but I came back.
426
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,414
I took the rest
of our dead dream money
427
00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:00,434
and bought some cocktails
for myself and some people.
428
00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:02,720
And myself.
429
00:18:02,722 --> 00:18:04,355
Did you bring me back
any of those?
430
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:06,640
'Cause I can't
listen to this sober.
431
00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:09,059
Max...
432
00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:12,396
I have nothing.
433
00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:15,232
I really need
the cupcake business.
434
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:18,435
I can be different.
435
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:19,687
No, you can't.
436
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,573
No, I can't.
437
00:18:22,575 --> 00:18:26,160
But I can be better.
438
00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:27,611
Please?
439
00:18:27,613 --> 00:18:30,381
Please, let's do this.
440
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,583
I know you have
a fear of success.
441
00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:36,286
You do, because no one
ever believed in your dreams.
442
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:39,957
But I believe in your dreams.
443
00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:41,976
We have a dream.
444
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,461
God, you are so drunk.
445
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:48,399
So you probably
won't even remember this.
446
00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:53,204
I'm sorry I said that stuff
about your father.
447
00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,905
Did you hear me?
448
00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:58,642
Max, are you up?
449
00:18:58,644 --> 00:19:04,582
Hey, do you have any more
of those poor people chips?
450
00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:08,819
What's up, hangover three?
451
00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:10,087
Why are these up?
452
00:19:10,089 --> 00:19:13,591
I thought we were vampires.
453
00:19:13,593 --> 00:19:16,710
Here, I took the rest
of last night's cupcake money,
454
00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:20,648
and brought you a coffee
and a fresh juice.
455
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,883
Which means that,
after two days in business,
456
00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:26,303
we are $23 down
from where we were.
457
00:19:26,305 --> 00:19:29,890
So we're still building
our cupcake business?
458
00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:31,108
Sure.
459
00:19:31,110 --> 00:19:33,110
All we need is how much?
460
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,646
$250,000.
461
00:19:35,648 --> 00:19:38,616
Which is awesome.
462
00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:41,902
Max, I'm sorry
I crossed all those boundaries.
463
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,120
It's cool.
464
00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:45,072
Me and drunk Caroline
worked it all out.
465
00:19:45,074 --> 00:19:47,074
In fact...
466
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:52,046
She signed this paper.
467
00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:55,983
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a..."
468
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,801
What's that word?
469
00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:00,804
Punk ass ho.
470
00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,256
Thanks.
471
00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:05,809
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a punk ass ho.
472
00:20:05,811 --> 00:20:08,312
"I promise to keep
my big mouth shut,
473
00:20:08,314 --> 00:20:11,232
"and replace all
of Max's poor people chips.
474
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:17,220
I will no longer meddle
in her relation-chips."
475
00:20:17,222 --> 00:20:20,574
You laughed about that
until you threw up.
476
00:20:20,576 --> 00:20:21,859
Oh, and if you're wondering,
477
00:20:21,861 --> 00:20:25,112
no, the puke stains
will not void this contract.
478
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:31,234
God!
479
00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:33,587
I forgot again
that we have a horse.
480
00:20:33,589 --> 00:20:35,089
Max, get him out of here.
481
00:20:35,091 --> 00:20:37,319
He doesn't know I'm a waitress.
482
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:41,089
Chestnut.
483
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:47,518
He is a champion.
484
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,304
He learned that a lot
faster than you did.
485
00:20:49,773 --> 00:20:57,000
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com