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00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:05,004
♪ ♪
2
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[dean martin's "that's amore"]
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♪ ♪
4
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- ♪ when the moon
hits your eye ♪
5
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♪ like a big pizza pie,
that's amore ♪
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♪ ♪
7
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♪ when the world
seems to shine ♪
8
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♪ like you've had
too much wine ♪
9
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:29,611
♪ that's amore ♪
10
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♪ ♪
11
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♪ bells will ring,
ting-a-ling-a-ling ♪
12
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♪ ting-a-ling-a-ling
and you'll sing ♪
13
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♪ vita bella ♪
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[bell jingling]
15
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♪ hearts will play
tippy-tippy-tay ♪
16
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♪ tippy-tippy-tay
like a gay tarantella ♪
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♪ ♪
18
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♪ when the stars
make you drool... ♪
19
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- timothy!
Come wash up for supper.
20
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,522
Your father will be home soon.
21
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- In a minute, mom!
22
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[bell jingling]
23
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- ♪ with a cloud at your feet,
you're in love ♪
24
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[wind roaring]
25
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- mama! Dust devils!
26
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,408
- ♪ bells will ring ♪
- ♪ ting-a-ling-a-ling ♪
27
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- ♪ ting-a-ling-a-ling ♪
- ♪ and you'll sing ♪
28
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♪ vita bella ♪
29
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- ♪ vita bell--
vita bella ♪
30
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♪ hearts will play ♪
- ♪ tippy-tippy-tay ♪
31
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♪ tippy-tippy-tay ♪
32
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all: ♪ like a gay tarantella ♪
33
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[rumbling]
34
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- ♪ when the-- ♪
35
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[static crackling]
36
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♪ when you walk-- ♪
37
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[eerie music]
38
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[record playing in reverse]
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♪ ♪
40
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[bell jingling]
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- timmy.
42
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Timmy! Timmy!
43
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[eerie music]
44
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♪ ♪
45
00:02:14,685 --> 00:02:16,602
timmy!
46
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Timmy!
47
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[dial tone hums]
48
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,070
- mommy?
Please don't be afraid.
49
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,406
- Timmy!
Oh, my god, where are you?
50
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[yells]
51
00:02:42,046 --> 00:02:42,961
timmy?
52
00:02:43,047 --> 00:02:45,214
- Mommy,
please don't be afraid.
53
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Take my hand, mommy.
54
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You don't have to be afraid.
55
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♪ ♪
56
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- [whistling jaunty tune]
57
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oh, honey, I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse.
58
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Maria?
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♪ ♪
60
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,458
maria?
61
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Maria.
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- [screeching]
63
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♪ ♪
64
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[chilling music]
65
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♪ ♪
66
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:09,124
- you're awful quiet today,
mr. President.
67
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- Oh, come on, guys.
68
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,879
And for the umpteenth time,
69
00:05:13,964 --> 00:05:15,297
ike.
70
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,953
Came here to be with friends,
not subordinates.
71
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:25,424
- Right, and you're
supposed to be relaxing, ike.
72
00:05:25,509 --> 00:05:28,293
So what is it? Korea? Mccarthy?
73
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,961
Mamie won't let you
eat off tv trays?
74
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,897
- [chuckles]
75
00:05:31,982 --> 00:05:34,099
- no, it's just
a little question I have.
76
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,605
So why is it I can land
150,000 soldiers in normandy...
77
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[groans]
78
00:05:45,863 --> 00:05:47,579
but I can't put one lousy ball
in one lousy hole?
79
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:49,448
I'd give anything
for that answer.
80
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- [chuckles]
- mm.
81
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,034
And they say you're not
a deep thinker.
82
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,453
- Ah, they're probably right.
83
00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:56,038
- [chuckles]
- uh-oh.
84
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,123
Looks like you're
"mr. President" again.
85
00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:01,126
[unsettling music]
86
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♪ ♪
87
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- we need to speak,
mr. President.
88
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,133
It's urgent.
89
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- [sighs]
90
00:06:11,889 --> 00:06:12,938
excuse me, fellas.
91
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,195
- There's been an incursion
into u.S. Airspace.
92
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:21,730
Vehicle was shot down
by an interceptor
93
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,648
just north of
edwards air force base.
94
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- Was it the russians?
95
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- We don't think so, sir.
96
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- Then excuse me, fellas.
97
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♪ ♪
98
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ugh, I'm telling you.
99
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Bet it was the duck that
they served from the hunt.
100
00:06:45,923 --> 00:06:47,756
Bit into some buckshot
and cracked a tooth.
101
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,092
- That was two nights ago.
102
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,309
Why is this the first
I'm hearing about it?
103
00:06:51,395 --> 00:06:53,428
- Well, I didn't want to, uh,
104
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:56,314
spoil the dinner and worry you.
105
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There's a doctor at the base.
106
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I'm sure he can
put a cap on it.
107
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- So you're driving
to an air force base
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to see a dentist.
109
00:07:02,272 --> 00:07:03,572
- If I go into--
if I go into town
110
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for any kind
of medical procedure,
111
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it'll set off the press,
112
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and you know
how those boys are.
113
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- What's going on, ike?
114
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,246
[pop music playing softly]
115
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who are you going to see?
116
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Now, don't look at me as if
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I have no right
to ask you that.
118
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We both know not all
of your secrets
119
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have to do
with national security.
120
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- I'm just gonna
go see a man with a drill.
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That's all.
122
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- One year in office,
and you still can't lie
123
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to save your life.
124
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I suppose I should be
proud of you.
125
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- I'll see you tomorrow.
126
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[suspenseful music]
127
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♪ ♪
128
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- we still
can't identify the vehicle.
129
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,638
It's not one of ours,
that much we know.
130
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,306
We have managed
to locate a body.
131
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:12,641
- A body?
132
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,926
- Was pretty messed up
in the crash.
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Can't tell what it is.
134
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Sir, if I may,
135
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there's still a concern
about radiation.
136
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- Mother of god.
137
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:33,111
♪ ♪
138
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,449
[devices whirring and clicking]
139
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,620
[geiger counter crackling]
140
00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:43,288
show me.
141
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,878
Looks like a child.
142
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,466
Get it back to the base.
143
00:08:57,854 --> 00:09:00,171
Is this site secure?
144
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,439
- Nothing's getting in or out.
145
00:09:01,525 --> 00:09:04,175
We have two king 40s
on their way from edwards
146
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:05,360
to haul this thing away.
147
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:12,484
♪ ♪
148
00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:22,860
- well, we can safely say
it's not the russians
149
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,581
or the chinese
or the boy scouts of america.
150
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,050
- No, sir.
151
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,253
- And now we have ourselves
a new question.
152
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,389
Why?
153
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,257
Why is it here?
154
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,145
- Sir!
155
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:42,063
You need to see this!
156
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:48,186
♪ ♪
157
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,168
- it's okay.
158
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,170
It's--it's okay.
159
00:10:05,255 --> 00:10:06,371
It's okay. We're here to help.
160
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:11,876
Who are you?
161
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,847
Can you tell me your name?
162
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,217
- My name...
163
00:10:21,805 --> 00:10:22,554
Is amelia.
164
00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:27,442
- Amelia?
165
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:28,593
- Amelia earhart.
166
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:35,734
♪ ♪
167
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:42,457
our plane was approaching
howland island.
168
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:43,941
We were having trouble
with our rdf.
169
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,795
We couldn't get a signal.
It was very weak.
170
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,213
I told fred we must have
blown a fuse,
171
00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:51,949
but he said it was working, so.
[chuckles]
172
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,802
- keep going, amelia.
It's important.
173
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,140
- We maintained our heading,
174
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,626
but howland island,
it just wasn't there.
175
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,678
There was just ocean.
176
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,631
We couldn't understand it.
177
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,900
And then all our instruments,
they went...
178
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:11,820
[sighs]
they went crazy.
179
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,271
All of the dials,
they were just...
180
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,358
Just spinning.
181
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,158
We couldn't make sense
of anything.
182
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,913
We were going down.
183
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:26,451
And then everything went white.
184
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,707
It was like we flew
into the sun.
185
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,178
And that's all.
186
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,050
Well, that's all I remember.
187
00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:46,471
- And those marks on your body,
188
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:47,272
how did you get those?
189
00:11:51,228 --> 00:11:52,343
- [sighs]
190
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,396
needles.
- Needles?
191
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,398
- Needles.
I don't like needles.
192
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,399
I don't trust them,
but they insisted.
193
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,818
They said
that it was important,
194
00:11:59,903 --> 00:12:01,069
that it wouldn't hurt,
but it did.
195
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,408
Sometimes they took my blood;
sometimes they...
196
00:12:08,712 --> 00:12:10,495
Put things inside me.
197
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,831
- Who?
198
00:12:12,916 --> 00:12:14,416
Amelia, who did this to you?
199
00:12:20,257 --> 00:12:22,424
- Where am I?
200
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,043
- You're in an american
air force base
201
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:29,230
in california, miss earhart.
202
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,516
You're safe here.
203
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,384
My name is dwight eisenhower,
204
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,236
and I'm the president
of the united states.
205
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,521
- You're a liar.
Franklin roosevelt is president.
206
00:12:36,606 --> 00:12:38,440
What am I doing here?
207
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,575
What am I doing here?
What's going on?
208
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,393
Where's fred?
209
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:44,245
Where's fred?
I want to talk to fred.
210
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,396
Please, I want to talk to him.
211
00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:46,915
Please, please,
I want to talk to fred.
212
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,583
Fred!
213
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,785
Where's fred? No, please. No.
214
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,121
Fred! I want to talk to fred!
215
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,340
I want to talk to fred!
216
00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:57,542
You're not americans!
You're not american!
217
00:12:57,627 --> 00:13:00,011
Fred! You're not americans!
218
00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:00,879
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
219
00:13:00,964 --> 00:13:04,015
[amelia shouting indistinctly]
220
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,085
- no, get it away from me!
221
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,271
Please, no more, no more!
222
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:14,476
[sobbing]
223
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,561
- what'd you find out?
224
00:13:16,646 --> 00:13:19,814
- Miss earhart's fingerprints
are still on file with the fbi,
225
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:20,615
but it's gonna take
at least a day
226
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,433
to get a comparison.
227
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:25,436
- I think we both know
what the results will be.
228
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:28,289
- Sir, amelia earhart
disappeared in 1937.
229
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,159
Nearly 20 years ago.
230
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,627
She'd be almost 60.
231
00:13:34,664 --> 00:13:37,582
- Mamie used to keep
a photo of her in her office.
232
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,717
She worshipped the woman.
233
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:41,503
I saw that photo
practically every day.
234
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:45,640
That--that's amelia earhart.
235
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,091
- She's sedated, mr. President.
236
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,128
- Whatever she needs, she gets.
237
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,130
- Understood.
238
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,933
Uh, there's something else,
sir.
239
00:13:55,018 --> 00:13:56,801
While you were speaking to her,
we got back
240
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,603
a preliminary serum analysis.
241
00:13:58,688 --> 00:14:00,738
- And?
242
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:02,657
- The patient, uh,
243
00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:03,658
she's two months pregnant.
244
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,529
- How's that even possible?
245
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,284
Never mind.
246
00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:15,286
The body they recovered
from the crash site,
247
00:14:15,372 --> 00:14:17,088
have they started on it yet?
248
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,423
- They're about to, sir.
249
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:25,430
♪ ♪
250
00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:28,550
[film reel clicking]
251
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,642
- mr. President,
they're starting.
252
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:45,516
[unsettling music]
253
00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:52,707
♪ ♪
254
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,480
- there's nothing here.
No internal organs at all.
255
00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:16,731
- It's like some kind of shell.
256
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:19,216
- What does that mean?
257
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,217
How can it be empty?
258
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,403
[soft chitter]
259
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:22,937
- what was that?
260
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,276
[soft chitter]
261
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:31,946
give me the lamp.
262
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,284
- Be careful, tom.
263
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,290
[chirp, electricity crackling]
264
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,958
- wait.
265
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,181
[yelling]
266
00:15:59,476 --> 00:16:00,525
- somebody get in here!
267
00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:03,928
- Mr. President.
268
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:04,862
- Somebody get in there
and help that man!
269
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,986
[alarm blaring]
270
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,988
- mr. President, I need you
to follow me.
271
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,991
[tense music]
272
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:24,132
♪ ♪
273
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,141
- hold your fire!
274
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:36,010
Lower your weapons.
275
00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:44,635
Whoever you are,
276
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,437
wherever you come from,
277
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:48,022
I implore you...
278
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,443
Stop what you're doing.
279
00:16:52,529 --> 00:16:54,829
- Stop?
280
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:57,165
- Whatever it is that you want,
281
00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:00,835
I'm sure we can come
to an understanding.
282
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:02,787
Reach an agreement.
283
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:06,507
I have the power to do that.
284
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,176
I'm the president
of the united states.
285
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,927
And this world,
it's been trying
286
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:12,046
to destroy itself for as long
as I can remember,
287
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,598
and we don't need
any more help,
288
00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:17,668
so I'm asking you,
289
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,004
stop the killing
290
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,673
and just listen to me.
291
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,942
- Mr. President,
292
00:17:25,028 --> 00:17:26,811
it is you
who will listen to us.
293
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,221
- Um, I don't think so.
Is it on the menu?
294
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,423
- I don't see it, no,
but you probably wouldn't.
295
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,275
It's super high end,
the kind of thing
296
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:41,976
the owner would have hidden
in the back
297
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,561
for those in the know.
298
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,812
How about niizawa super 7?
299
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,814
- Not if it's not on the menu.
300
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:47,899
- Sorry.
[laughs]
301
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,234
I--I did a term in japan
this year,
302
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,236
and I, uh, got a little spoiled
with the sake.
303
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,572
Just bring me a bottle
of tatsuriki,
304
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,824
but wait until
my friends arrive to serve it.
305
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:57,959
I don't want it
losing its chill.
306
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,079
[eerie music]
307
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:06,584
[upbeat rock music playing]
308
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,504
[indistinct chatter]
309
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,588
there she is!
310
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,845
God, you're so beautiful.
311
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,098
- I've missed you.
- You look so good.
312
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,274
- Mm!
[laughs]
313
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,276
hey! Where's jamie?
- Parking the car.
314
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,611
- Oh, thank you.
315
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:34,812
- There she is.
- There she is.
316
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,415
- Wow. Also looking stunning.
317
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,488
- Hi!
318
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,673
- Hi.
- You look beautiful.
319
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,292
- Oh, thank you, guys.
320
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,628
God. Hi.
321
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,096
- Hello.
- Yeah, well, thank you.
322
00:18:52,182 --> 00:18:53,431
- We did it.
323
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:56,434
- And what is this?
324
00:18:56,519 --> 00:18:58,836
- It's not the best,
but it's the best they got.
325
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,771
- Okay.
326
00:19:00,857 --> 00:19:02,440
- Thank you.
- To summer.
327
00:19:02,525 --> 00:19:03,174
All: To summer.
- Cheers.
328
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,642
- Cheers.
329
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,777
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
330
00:19:06,863 --> 00:19:08,029
- Guys.
331
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,114
- It's so good to see you guys.
- Right?
332
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,316
- The gang is back together.
333
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,568
- It's the first summer all
together since college started.
334
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,735
- Ugh.
- Ugh. I blame myself.
335
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,238
Why did I say yes
to those stupid internships?
336
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,790
Wasting my summers away
getting coffee
337
00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:21,909
for douchebag facebook execs
338
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,911
and congressmen
with 16-year-old girlfriends.
339
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,379
- Ew.
- I blame cal too.
340
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,248
[all chuckle]
341
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:30,334
- seriously, though, guys,
I missed you so much.
342
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,920
This year's been so stressful--
applying to med schools
343
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:33,721
while going back and forth
from home
344
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,139
to help my mom with my dad.
345
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:36,807
- Ah, yeah. How is he?
346
00:19:36,893 --> 00:19:39,010
- Cancer sucks.
- I'm so sorry, kenny.
347
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,478
- It's fine.
No sad stuff tonight.
348
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:41,479
[chuckles]
- yes.
349
00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:43,547
- What's everyone's update?
350
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,733
- Uh, y--
351
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,485
we're fucking.
352
00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:50,738
Okay, we are more than fucking.
We are dating.
353
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,555
- Oh, what?
- What?
354
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,358
Kendall, honey, come on.
355
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,893
You didn't know?
[troy and cal laugh]
356
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,895
- um, troy took my virginity.
- And how was it?
357
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,031
- I mean, yeah,
it was terrible,
358
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,365
but I thought that was
due to lack of experience,
359
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,034
not lack of interest in vagina.
360
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,752
- We didn't act on it
until we got to princeton
361
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,087
and we roomed together.
362
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,422
Those dorms were small.
363
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,957
First, you know,
364
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,959
you jack off at the same time,
but in the dark,
365
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,962
and then you just
start doing it together,
366
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,047
and before you know it,
you're late for your
367
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,414
great thinkers
of enlightenment class
368
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,183
because you have your best
friend's dick in your mouth.
369
00:20:19,269 --> 00:20:21,719
- Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
Do your parents know?
370
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,104
I thought orthodox jews
weren't down with the gays.
371
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,639
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
372
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,642
We, uh, we hired cal to be
our shabbos goy
373
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,110
since we've both been home
from school
374
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,528
so I can sneak him
into the house.
375
00:20:30,613 --> 00:20:31,779
- Shabbos goy?
376
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,648
- Oh, so, um.
377
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,866
You know, jews aren't allowed
to use any electronics
378
00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,868
during the sabbath,
so you hire a gentile
379
00:20:37,954 --> 00:20:40,788
to turn lights off and on
or turn the stove on or...
380
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,324
Drive to the store.
- No.
381
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,441
- My shabbos goy.
382
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:46,610
- But you have sex on Saturday.
- Yes.
383
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:47,745
- That doesn't seem kosher.
384
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,213
- Yeah, well, I only bottom
on Saturday.
385
00:20:49,299 --> 00:20:50,298
That way, he's the only one
doing any work.
386
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,950
- Oh, my gosh.
[cal and kendall laugh]
387
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,670
- that's cute. Hmm.
388
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,138
- You okay?
389
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,223
Something isn't right
about you.
390
00:20:59,309 --> 00:21:01,892
- Yeah, you said
no sad stuff tonight.
391
00:21:01,978 --> 00:21:05,012
- I didn't mean it like that.
392
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,481
- I met a guy.
- Mm.
393
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,351
- Most wonderful guy.
394
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,970
He's brilliant,
and we were, like,
395
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,572
already in love, you know,
on our first date,
396
00:21:14,657 --> 00:21:17,825
and, um, it was perfect.
397
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,311
Um, but then we got home,
398
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,912
and we fooled around...
399
00:21:21,998 --> 00:21:23,914
- Micropenis?
400
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,249
- No.
- Definitely not.
401
00:21:25,335 --> 00:21:28,919
Um, but he, uh--
he didn't have a condom,
402
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:31,789
so, like, we didn't have sex,
so he just went down on me,
403
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,992
and then just jerked off
on my tits.
404
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:37,995
Uh, but when his--
his stuff, like, hit my skin,
405
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,931
it felt like, uh, acid.
406
00:21:41,017 --> 00:21:42,049
- Fuck!
407
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,134
You're allergic
to his man juice?
408
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,003
- Seminal plasma
hypersensitivity.
409
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,606
She has a reaction
to the proteins in his semen.
410
00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:49,940
- God, is there something
she could take for that?
411
00:21:50,026 --> 00:21:51,392
Like, take a benadryl
before they bang or something?
412
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,277
- No, there's nothing
we can do.
413
00:21:53,363 --> 00:21:55,813
- Ugh.
- No.
414
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:58,399
- Hey, this sucks,
but I promise you,
415
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:01,152
we are gonna make sure that
by the end of this summer,
416
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,069
you'll totally forget
about this dude
417
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,822
and his venomous jizz.
418
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,290
This summer
is going to be party!
419
00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:08,075
- Party!
- Whoo!
420
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,076
- Party, baby.
- Come on.
421
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,295
- Cheers.
[laughter]
422
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,338
[phones chiming]
423
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,427
- you guys, we're an hour
into our summer reunion,
424
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,647
and you're already all
more interested in your phones?
425
00:22:29,732 --> 00:22:30,681
Put them away.
426
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,319
- All right, mom.
427
00:22:35,405 --> 00:22:36,720
- Do you feel that?
428
00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:38,989
That tension
that comes up inside
429
00:22:39,075 --> 00:22:40,324
when you think about
putting your phones away?
430
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:42,193
It's called "nomophobia,"
431
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,327
as in "no mobile phone phobia."
432
00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:45,246
- that is not a real thing.
433
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:46,197
- It is,
and it's a leading cause
434
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,249
of anxiety in young people.
435
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,201
It's why I joined
the luddite club at harvard.
436
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:52,119
I'm cured of the curse
of technology.
437
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:54,255
- Yeah, okay.
438
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:55,873
- I was taking a class called
50 years of technology,
439
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:57,408
all about how the human race
440
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,126
has had
more technological advances
441
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:01,128
in the last 50 years
442
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:03,547
than in the previous
20,000 combined.
443
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:04,765
- Well, the truth is that
if we took someone
444
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,801
from the second century b.C.,
and we drop him
445
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:07,885
in the 14th century a.D., well,
446
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,603
they're gonna adapt
pretty quickly.
447
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:10,938
All right, and you ask someone
from the 1970s
448
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,474
to live in 2021, they're gonna
have a nervous breakdown.
449
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,360
See, guys,
we've advanced technologically
450
00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,029
far faster than, well,
451
00:23:19,115 --> 00:23:21,482
our brains or our emotions
can adapt.
452
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:23,367
- He was brilliant,
453
00:23:23,453 --> 00:23:25,569
so I asked if I could
pick his brain after class.
454
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:29,573
[both panting]
455
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,826
[inquisitive music]
456
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:36,447
he was so calm and centered
and anxiety-free.
457
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:37,832
He explained that
it was because
458
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,500
he wasn't a slave
to technology.
459
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:43,254
He didn't have a computer
or a smartphone
460
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,306
or even the internet.
- Hold up.
461
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:47,391
Is this why we could only
call you on a landline?
462
00:23:47,477 --> 00:23:49,977
- Yes--I'm a proud member
of the luddite club.
463
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:51,262
- Yeah, the original luddites
464
00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:54,648
were 19th-century
english textile workers
465
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,934
who would destroy
their textile machinery
466
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,319
as a protest
to all the machines
467
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:00,187
that they thought
could do the work
468
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:01,472
that humans should be doing.
469
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,658
- So you're saying you don't
use any tech at all?
470
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,278
- I mean, I have to write
my papers on a computer,
471
00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:10,080
but I do all my research
at the library,
472
00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:12,533
and all my teachers know I can't
be contacted through email.
473
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,535
- Okay, kendall, I love you.
Shut up. I respect you.
474
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:17,421
But that adam guy must have
a 10-inch dick,
475
00:24:17,507 --> 00:24:19,006
because that is the
dumbest shit I've ever heard.
476
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,625
Technology is awesome.
477
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:22,960
You wanna be a doctor.
478
00:24:23,045 --> 00:24:24,879
What would medicine be
without robotic surgeries
479
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,547
or mri machines?
480
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:30,634
- Or hd video, gps.
Uber fucking eats.
481
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,637
- Okay, look, I know
we can't avoid it forever,
482
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:34,838
but you have to believe me.
483
00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:35,973
It's the biggest relief
to be free from it,
484
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,175
just for a little while.
485
00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:39,977
Do you remember
that camping trip
486
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,312
our parents took us on
when we were all, like, eight?
487
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:42,780
All:
Yeah.
488
00:24:42,865 --> 00:24:44,982
- And no phones or ipads
or anything allowed?
489
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,650
Wasn't that the most fun
we've all had together?
490
00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:48,986
- Yes, it was fun.
491
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,522
- Let's at least
do this camping trip like that.
492
00:24:51,624 --> 00:24:53,190
Just see how good it feels--
not a full break,
493
00:24:53,292 --> 00:24:55,659
just a vacation from it.
494
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:56,994
- Mm, at least I won't be
checking my phone
495
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,530
to see if he's texted me.
- [gasps]
496
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:01,332
can we get one of those
bedouin tents in joshua tree?
497
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:02,866
- [gasps]
- ooh, glamping.
498
00:25:02,969 --> 00:25:05,002
- So are we all in?
499
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:09,006
- [sighs]
to a, uh, luddite summer?
500
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:12,726
All:
To a luddite summer!
501
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,729
[funky music]
502
00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:18,732
[blondie's "rapture"]
503
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:25,856
♪ ♪
504
00:25:41,257 --> 00:25:43,574
- okay. I'm all set. Let's go.
505
00:25:43,676 --> 00:25:46,577
- We can go when you take
your phone out of your pocket.
506
00:25:46,679 --> 00:25:47,261
- What?
- Huh?
507
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,546
What's in your pocket?
508
00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,581
- I don't have my--
- what do you have in there?
509
00:25:50,683 --> 00:25:51,515
- Nothing.
- Huh? Huh? Huh?
510
00:25:51,601 --> 00:25:53,250
- Okay, all right, okay, fine.
511
00:25:53,352 --> 00:25:54,101
- I know you so well, babe.
512
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,886
- Yeah, but, like...
[groans]
513
00:25:58,274 --> 00:25:58,973
fuck.
514
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,259
- ♪ wall to wall ♪
515
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:05,396
[indistinct chatter]
516
00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:12,119
♪ and they're
stepping lightly ♪
517
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:15,606
- [gasps]
you guys!
518
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:18,125
Oh!
519
00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:19,793
- Sweet.
- Wow!
520
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,612
- Oh.
- Oh, wow!
521
00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:23,664
- All night.
522
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:29,470
- ♪ back to back ♪
523
00:26:29,589 --> 00:26:33,757
♪ sacroiliac ♪
524
00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:38,429
♪ spineless movement ♪
525
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:41,565
♪ and a wild attack ♪
526
00:26:41,651 --> 00:26:43,901
♪ ♪
527
00:26:43,986 --> 00:26:47,571
♪ face to face ♪
528
00:26:47,657 --> 00:26:51,575
♪ sightless solitude ♪
529
00:26:51,661 --> 00:26:57,698
♪ and it's finger popping ♪
530
00:26:57,783 --> 00:27:01,368
♪ 24-hour shopping ♪
531
00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:06,323
♪ in rapture ♪
532
00:27:06,425 --> 00:27:12,463
♪ ♪
533
00:27:36,038 --> 00:27:37,321
- almost there.
534
00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:41,024
- Are you sure we're going
the right way?
535
00:27:41,127 --> 00:27:42,025
I feel like we're not going
the right way.
536
00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:44,628
- Yes. It's right around--
537
00:27:44,714 --> 00:27:48,165
[unsettling music]
538
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,701
this wasn't here before.
539
00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:52,086
- From the looks of it, babe,
540
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:53,303
this has been here
since god was a child.
541
00:27:53,389 --> 00:27:55,506
- No, no, no, it--this was--
542
00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,891
there was a pond
here yesterday.
543
00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:00,711
- Yeah, I think we just
got turned around or something.
544
00:28:00,813 --> 00:28:01,878
- I told you we shouldn't
be following him.
545
00:28:01,981 --> 00:28:02,713
You know he has
a shit sense of direction.
546
00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:04,181
- But I like the view.
547
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:06,100
- I can hear you fuckers.
548
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:10,387
♪ ♪
549
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:13,724
- uh, you guys,
I think we should go back.
550
00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,192
- If we go right up here...
551
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:17,911
- Oh, my--
[sniffs]
552
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,063
oh, my god, what is that smell?
553
00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:23,066
- It smells like
something died.
554
00:28:23,169 --> 00:28:25,252
- Can we not do this right now?
555
00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:28,338
[suspenseful music]
556
00:28:28,424 --> 00:28:34,461
♪ ♪
557
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:39,683
what the fuck?
558
00:28:39,769 --> 00:28:41,351
- Someone mutilated them.
- How?
559
00:28:41,437 --> 00:28:44,271
I mean, look--look at them.
560
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:45,272
- There aren't
any pools of blood.
561
00:28:47,526 --> 00:28:50,611
- Kendall, don't.
- Kendall.
562
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:52,429
This is a really bad idea.
563
00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:59,486
♪ ♪
564
00:29:06,128 --> 00:29:07,294
- if they were cut
with a saw or a knife,
565
00:29:07,413 --> 00:29:08,962
there'd be blood everywhere.
566
00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:18,005
[cow moos]
[gasps]
567
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,174
[jamie and kendall scream]
568
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,175
- no, no, no, no, no!
- Come on!
569
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,593
- Kendall, come on!
570
00:29:22,678 --> 00:29:24,845
♪ ♪
571
00:29:32,138 --> 00:29:34,588
[tense music]
572
00:29:34,673 --> 00:29:36,924
- okay, come on, guys.
It's gonna be dark soon.
573
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:38,008
The road is--
- a road without lights
574
00:29:38,093 --> 00:29:39,593
is still safer
than sleeping here
575
00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:41,345
with the bovine butcher
on the loose, so.
576
00:29:41,430 --> 00:29:42,346
- I still don't understand,
like, how.
577
00:29:42,431 --> 00:29:43,880
- They were mooing!
578
00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,065
Those half fucking cows
were fucking mooing.
579
00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:46,216
Come on!
- Hurry up!
580
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,734
- Maybe it was just, like,
the wind
581
00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:49,219
whistling through
their carcasses or something.
582
00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:56,276
♪ ♪
583
00:29:59,448 --> 00:30:01,081
- how far to the next town?
584
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,082
- An hour at least.
585
00:30:05,588 --> 00:30:07,371
- Oh, my god, cal!
- I'm sorry!
586
00:30:07,456 --> 00:30:09,089
I can't see a damn thing!
I hate driving at night.
587
00:30:09,208 --> 00:30:11,425
- Well, then why are you?
- I can't; it's Saturday.
588
00:30:11,544 --> 00:30:13,177
- Okay, well,
let one of us drive then.
589
00:30:13,262 --> 00:30:15,045
- Be my guest.
590
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:16,763
[engine chugging]
[tires screech]
591
00:30:16,882 --> 00:30:18,182
- cal, cal, why are you braking?
- I'm not doing anything.
592
00:30:18,267 --> 00:30:20,184
- I don't know.
I don't know what's happening.
593
00:30:20,269 --> 00:30:22,519
What the fuck?
- Oh, my god.
594
00:30:22,605 --> 00:30:24,388
- I'm not doing anything.
- Cal, did you turn the car off?
595
00:30:24,473 --> 00:30:25,522
- No, I didn't!
- What are you doing?
596
00:30:25,608 --> 00:30:26,974
- Wait, guys--do you hear that?
597
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:29,259
[silence]
598
00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:31,195
- all the crickets stopped.
599
00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:34,731
[eerie music]
600
00:30:34,817 --> 00:30:36,867
- oh, my god.
- What the hell is that?
601
00:30:36,952 --> 00:30:39,536
[helicopter blades whirring]
602
00:30:39,622 --> 00:30:41,121
- is it a helicopter?
603
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,658
♪ ♪
604
00:30:44,743 --> 00:30:45,792
- oh, jesus.
605
00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:48,795
[machinery humming]
606
00:30:52,251 --> 00:30:53,550
- where's it going?
607
00:30:53,636 --> 00:30:53,717
- Fuckin'--
608
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,896
- go. Go!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
609
00:31:05,981 --> 00:31:07,898
- Guys, it won't start!
- Go now! Call for help!
610
00:31:07,983 --> 00:31:09,433
- We don't have phones,
kendall!
611
00:31:09,518 --> 00:31:11,151
- The--the car does!
612
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:11,968
- Come on, come on.
- What is that?
613
00:31:12,071 --> 00:31:14,104
- Come on!
- Come on.
614
00:31:14,189 --> 00:31:15,489
- [screams]
615
00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:18,642
[alien chittering]
616
00:31:18,744 --> 00:31:19,826
- help!
- No, no, no, no, no!
617
00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:22,913
- No!
618
00:31:22,998 --> 00:31:29,253
♪ ♪
619
00:31:29,338 --> 00:31:31,505
[wolf howls]
620
00:31:35,210 --> 00:31:36,993
- hey.
621
00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:39,846
- Hmm. Hmm.
- You okay?
622
00:31:39,965 --> 00:31:41,998
- Yeah, I don't know.
- What was that?
623
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:42,966
[engine turns over]
624
00:31:49,308 --> 00:31:51,141
- there was a light.
625
00:31:51,226 --> 00:31:52,809
I didn't imagine that.
626
00:31:55,698 --> 00:31:56,613
Wait.
627
00:31:56,699 --> 00:31:58,198
[tense music]
628
00:31:58,317 --> 00:32:00,534
where's jamie?
629
00:32:00,653 --> 00:32:03,487
[brakes screeching]
630
00:32:04,657 --> 00:32:07,074
oh, my god, jamie!
Oh, my god, jamie!
631
00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:10,961
- How did you get out
of the car?
632
00:32:11,046 --> 00:32:11,878
- I didn't.
- Her pulse is racing.
633
00:32:11,997 --> 00:32:14,031
She's--
- she's leaving with us.
634
00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:14,965
- Come on.
- Let's go. You okay?
635
00:32:15,050 --> 00:32:16,366
- Yeah, yeah.
636
00:32:16,468 --> 00:32:18,302
- Okay.
637
00:32:18,387 --> 00:32:19,553
- We need to get the fuck
out of here.
638
00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,757
Come on.
- Yeah.
639
00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:24,975
- You're driving.
- So?
640
00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:27,427
- It's Saturday.
641
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:30,380
- We were all put
in different seats.
642
00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:31,515
- What the fuck? You're right.
643
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:32,899
How is that possible?
- I don't care!
644
00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:34,518
I just wanna go home.
645
00:32:34,603 --> 00:32:36,236
♪ ♪
646
00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:44,494
- it wasn't drugs.
647
00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,079
Nobody was high.
648
00:32:46,198 --> 00:32:46,830
- Well, I don't know,
it sure sounds
649
00:32:46,915 --> 00:32:47,948
like hallucination.
650
00:32:48,033 --> 00:32:49,499
I mean, mooing half cows?
651
00:32:49,585 --> 00:32:50,900
Sure no one decided
to spike the kool-aid?
652
00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:52,419
Hey, what about
your friend nino?
653
00:32:52,538 --> 00:32:54,287
He seems like the type.
- His name is cal.
654
00:32:54,373 --> 00:32:55,905
And what the hell
does that mean?
655
00:32:56,008 --> 00:32:56,590
- It's just the way
you talk about him.
656
00:32:56,709 --> 00:32:58,842
You know, he's always on.
657
00:32:58,927 --> 00:33:00,510
I mean, he has to show off
to demonstrate his power.
658
00:33:00,596 --> 00:33:03,964
- I never said any of that.
[sighs]
659
00:33:04,049 --> 00:33:05,966
I remember seeing this tv show
when I was a kid
660
00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:08,051
that talked about lost time.
661
00:33:08,137 --> 00:33:09,519
It had something to do
with alien abduction,
662
00:33:09,605 --> 00:33:11,972
but I can't
remember everything.
663
00:33:12,057 --> 00:33:13,390
Can't I just borrow
my parents' computer
664
00:33:13,475 --> 00:33:14,725
and google it just this once?
665
00:33:14,810 --> 00:33:17,194
- Yeah, I mean, sure,
as long as you're okay saying
666
00:33:17,279 --> 00:33:18,145
that you only believe
in something
667
00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:20,063
as long as it's convenient
for you.
668
00:33:20,149 --> 00:33:21,982
It's a slippery slope, kenny.
669
00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:24,067
All right, look,
you should eat something.
670
00:33:24,153 --> 00:33:25,402
Uh, leafy greens,
lean protein.
671
00:33:25,487 --> 00:33:27,204
No drunk food.
672
00:33:27,289 --> 00:33:28,271
- Not sure my stomach
is up for that.
673
00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:30,323
I'm feeling a little queasy.
674
00:33:30,409 --> 00:33:32,409
- Well, you gotta
stay hydrated.
675
00:33:32,494 --> 00:33:33,877
What about some soup?
676
00:33:33,962 --> 00:33:35,412
Yeah, I can, uh, I can
send you some ramen
677
00:33:35,497 --> 00:33:37,080
from that place that...
678
00:33:37,166 --> 00:33:38,081
[eerie music]
679
00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:39,216
kendall?
680
00:33:44,973 --> 00:33:47,674
[line trills]
681
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,092
- hello?
682
00:33:49,178 --> 00:33:51,895
- Kendall?
683
00:33:51,980 --> 00:33:54,231
Uh, I feel like shit.
684
00:33:54,316 --> 00:33:56,099
I've been puking
all afternoon.
685
00:33:56,185 --> 00:33:58,301
- Me too.
686
00:33:58,404 --> 00:34:02,022
Did we not
cook that bacon enough?
687
00:34:02,107 --> 00:34:04,357
- Mm-mm, no, if it
was food poisoning,
688
00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:06,026
we would've felt better
after we threw up.
689
00:34:06,111 --> 00:34:08,111
I've only felt like this
one other time,
690
00:34:08,197 --> 00:34:11,364
and I was 19, remember?
691
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,500
[unsettling music]
692
00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:15,702
- you think we're pregnant?
693
00:34:15,788 --> 00:34:16,753
That's not possible.
694
00:34:16,839 --> 00:34:18,705
I mean,
it's technically possible.
695
00:34:18,791 --> 00:34:20,323
Adam and I have a lot of sex.
696
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:22,042
But I'm on the pill.
697
00:34:22,127 --> 00:34:24,377
- And, uh, the only guy
I've been with lately
698
00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:26,996
almost killed me with his cum.
699
00:34:27,099 --> 00:34:28,465
I'm not saying
that it's likely;
700
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:30,383
I'm just saying that this
701
00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:33,336
is what it feels like
when you are.
702
00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:36,857
- Adam thinks maybe the boys
dosed us with something.
703
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:37,858
Do you think they had sex
with us or something
704
00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:39,676
and we don't remember?
705
00:34:39,778 --> 00:34:43,730
- No, no, absolutely not.
706
00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:45,398
Okay, um, I'm coming over,
707
00:34:45,484 --> 00:34:48,685
but I'm gonna
stop by the drug store first.
708
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:49,986
See you in a few.
709
00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:54,491
- [retching]
710
00:34:54,576 --> 00:34:56,626
[toilet flushing]
711
00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:00,213
- [groans]
712
00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:00,997
[coughs]
713
00:35:06,672 --> 00:35:07,754
oh, baby.
714
00:35:16,932 --> 00:35:19,983
Baby, when's the last time
I ate your ass?
715
00:35:20,068 --> 00:35:23,103
- I don't know,
like, a week ago?
716
00:35:23,188 --> 00:35:25,188
- I think I have giardia again.
717
00:35:25,274 --> 00:35:27,440
- What the fuck is giardia?
718
00:35:27,526 --> 00:35:28,992
- It's when you eat ass...
719
00:35:29,077 --> 00:35:30,443
- My ass is always spotless.
720
00:35:30,529 --> 00:35:33,246
- And you get infected
with invisible microbes
721
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:35,332
or some shit.
722
00:35:35,417 --> 00:35:38,535
It's very common; I got it once
senior year of high school.
723
00:35:38,620 --> 00:35:39,669
- When you were on the down-low
with the quarterback,
724
00:35:39,755 --> 00:35:41,872
you ate the quarterback's ass?
725
00:35:41,957 --> 00:35:43,924
- [chuckles]
often, yes.
726
00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:46,009
And vice versa.
727
00:35:47,429 --> 00:35:48,678
[groans]
but yes.
728
00:35:48,764 --> 00:35:51,014
I got giardia from kyle,
729
00:35:51,099 --> 00:35:55,886
and I felt so sick
and so nauseous for weeks.
730
00:35:55,971 --> 00:35:58,805
And I had to take a test
from our family's doctor,
731
00:35:58,891 --> 00:36:00,941
and it came back positive
for giardia.
732
00:36:01,059 --> 00:36:02,692
- What did you do?
733
00:36:02,778 --> 00:36:04,427
- Well, I was mortified.
734
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:06,696
I lied and I said that
735
00:36:06,782 --> 00:36:09,566
I ate some unwashed fecal fruit
or some shit.
736
00:36:09,651 --> 00:36:11,618
[laughs]
- what'd you have to take?
737
00:36:11,737 --> 00:36:14,287
- Flagyl.
738
00:36:14,406 --> 00:36:16,907
Awful, but it went away
after a week.
739
00:36:16,992 --> 00:36:18,041
- Okay.
740
00:36:19,878 --> 00:36:20,961
Mm.
- I love you.
741
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:22,712
- I love you.
742
00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:27,918
Uh.
- What?
743
00:36:28,003 --> 00:36:30,453
- Oh, my god.
- What?
744
00:36:30,556 --> 00:36:32,639
Troy?
- Oh, my god.
745
00:36:32,758 --> 00:36:34,925
- What's wrong?
- I don't feel so good.
746
00:36:35,010 --> 00:36:38,311
[eerie music]
747
00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:39,396
- it's not possible.
748
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,266
- Give me your phone.
749
00:36:43,352 --> 00:36:46,135
Just give it to me.
750
00:36:46,238 --> 00:36:47,654
- Jesus, what are you
looking up?
751
00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:49,406
- Alien abductions.
- Pfft.
752
00:36:49,491 --> 00:36:50,690
- Don't give me that look.
753
00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:53,326
When all reasonable explanations
have been eliminated--
754
00:36:53,445 --> 00:36:55,662
- you decide it's aliens? Hmm?
755
00:36:55,781 --> 00:36:58,949
There has to be a rational
756
00:36:59,034 --> 00:37:00,417
explanation for this.
- Like what?
757
00:37:00,502 --> 00:37:02,419
I secretly have two uteruses
758
00:37:02,504 --> 00:37:04,621
my ob-gyn hasn't noticed
until now?
759
00:37:04,706 --> 00:37:07,340
I've developed the ability
to asexually reproduce?
760
00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:10,760
There have been stories about
this kind of thing for decades.
761
00:37:10,846 --> 00:37:14,163
Some of them
seem pretty credible.
762
00:37:14,266 --> 00:37:16,883
There's so much information
out there.
763
00:37:16,969 --> 00:37:17,884
Stories about lost time
764
00:37:17,970 --> 00:37:20,220
and alien experimentation
on humans.
765
00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:22,689
Betty and barney hill in 1961.
766
00:37:22,808 --> 00:37:24,891
You know, some people think
amelia earhart was abducted.
767
00:37:24,977 --> 00:37:27,227
- "close encounters" was not
a documentary, kendall.
768
00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:28,561
[door clicks open]
769
00:37:28,647 --> 00:37:28,895
- hey, guys.
770
00:37:31,533 --> 00:37:33,566
Guys, we've been puking
all day.
771
00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:35,902
- I keep craving weird shit
772
00:37:35,988 --> 00:37:38,121
like vanilla yogurt
with barbecue chips,
773
00:37:38,206 --> 00:37:39,856
but when I eat it,
I can't keep it down.
774
00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:41,574
- How's your chest?
775
00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:44,794
- Like I've been punched
in the tits by tyson.
776
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,463
- What? No! It's not possible.
777
00:37:46,548 --> 00:37:48,164
- What?
778
00:37:57,309 --> 00:37:58,842
- I need you guys
to do something for me.
779
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:02,262
- This is so dumb.
780
00:38:02,347 --> 00:38:04,547
Men can't get pregnant!
781
00:38:04,650 --> 00:38:05,348
- Just shut up.
782
00:38:08,353 --> 00:38:09,486
- Something's happening
on mine.
783
00:38:13,325 --> 00:38:16,693
- Holy shit.
What does that mean?
784
00:38:16,778 --> 00:38:19,612
- It means all four of us
are pregnant.
785
00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:23,166
♪ ♪
786
00:38:28,607 --> 00:38:35,645
♪ ♪