1 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:16,184 * 2 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,094 - Hi, hi. 3 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:32,633 Norman Mailer lived, uh, two doors down. 4 00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,035 I saw him bite Rip Torn's ear off one night. 5 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,805 Seems like a different lifetime. 6 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,640 If you're looking for more action, I can, uh, 7 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,042 show you something on Commercial Street. 8 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,978 But you should know that by November, even downtown 9 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,548 is so empty and quiet that you could hear a gnat fart. 10 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,050 - I like the quiet. 11 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,186 Need my privacy. 12 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,053 How's the ventilation? 13 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,356 These old houses can get pretty stuffy. 14 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,890 - You a writer? 15 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,892 Painter? 16 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,528 Hermit? 17 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,163 I know you're not here for the social scene, 18 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,031 whatever's left of it. 19 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,134 I've been here for 50 years. 20 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:08,969 You know, back in the day, you'd walk downtown, 21 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,539 and you'd see boys getting butt-fucked on front porches 22 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,308 like some kind of perverted Norman Rockwell painting. 23 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:18,045 It was true homosexual Americana. 24 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,882 Now it's Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom 25 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,418 and baby stroller gridlock all fucking summer long. 26 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,920 - I just left my job at a lab in Providence. 27 00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,021 - What are you, a chemist? 28 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,360 - It was an ugly divorce. 29 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,761 I just need some time alone. 30 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,429 - Let's cut the bullshit. 31 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,366 A big-city chemist looking for a quiet place 32 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,768 with great ventilation in a town where the things 33 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,936 that are most plentiful for eight months a year 34 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,339 are methheads, choppy seas, and depression? 35 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,907 That sounds like a woman looking to set up 36 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,342 her own little meth lab. 37 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,010 - I have a PhD from Harvard. 38 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,181 Meth is well below my pay grade. 39 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,248 - Good. 40 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,250 'Cause the sheriff has a nose like a truffle pig 41 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:59,453 for that junk. 42 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,055 - Just lookin' for some quiet. 43 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,124 I'll take it. 44 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:13,267 * 45 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:39,393 * 46 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:12,860 * 47 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,255 - Do you know that guy, uh, Tex? 48 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,590 He cruises the docks? 49 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,192 - Wait, don't tell me. He's from Texas. 50 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,093 - Yeah. How'd you know? 51 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,197 Anyway, he taught me this trick 52 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,198 you do right before a guy comes. 53 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,568 - Mm. - You press down on his taint, 54 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,869 you time it just right, 55 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,204 you can get him to come again right away. 56 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,674 - Mm, but you'll charge me for just the one, right? 57 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,842 - Exactly. 58 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,010 - You're playing out of your league. 59 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,346 Scram. 60 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,913 - Look, can I just borrow ten bucks? 61 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,383 - I said scram, methhead. 62 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,288 - Hi. - Hi. 63 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:51,559 - I'm new in town, got a few extra bucks. 64 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,126 You do girls too? 65 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,795 - Yep. Here. 66 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,697 Look at that. I'm a gentleman. 67 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,971 * 68 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,238 Don't touch anything. 69 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:12,580 - So, uh, what do you want? 70 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:13,313 Kind of do things as a standard 71 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,583 sliding scale kind of deal. 72 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,051 It's, uh, $50 for oral. 73 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,219 Straight-up sex, that's $100, 74 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,822 but I'm currently running a Halloween special. 75 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,126 I'll do anything for 20 bucks. 76 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,961 - But Halloween isn't for a week. 77 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,898 - Mm. It's a, um, seasonal thing. 78 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,666 - I just wanna talk. 79 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:36,169 I'll pay you for your time. 80 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,242 - All right. 81 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,678 - Tell me about your dreams. 82 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,679 - Like, at night? 83 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,849 - No. Like, in life. 84 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:53,320 You ever wanna be a model or play for the Yankees? 85 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,623 - You really think I could be a model? 86 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,026 - No. But you must have something. 87 00:05:59,092 --> 00:05:59,927 Everyone does. 88 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,665 - Well, I write a little. 89 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,834 - You any good? 90 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,036 - I don't know. 91 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,504 I don't think I've ever shown anyone 92 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,873 anything I've written before, but, uh... 93 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,209 um, yeah, you know, I think I'm pretty good. 94 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,346 Why, you, like, a big-time movie producer or something? 95 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,182 - I'm a biochemical engineer. 96 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,684 Spent the past nine years working with the U.S. military 97 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,486 trying to understand and unlock 98 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,555 the creative parts of the brain. 99 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,890 - They wanna make more creative soldiers? 100 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,725 - Less. 101 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,393 They don't want them to think for themselves. 102 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,162 But to lock up the creative mind, 103 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,031 we also have to understand how to unlock it. 104 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,366 We have tons of research 105 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,534 from studying highly creative people. 106 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,803 Every one of 'em says the same thing. 107 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,873 They don't know where it comes from. 108 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,375 But I do. 109 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,478 The occipital lobe. 110 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,981 Talented people have denser, more numerous clusters 111 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,983 of neurons in that area. 112 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,752 I don't care if you are Bill fucking Shakespeare. 113 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,889 If I whack you hard enough in that part of your head, 114 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,892 you'll never write again. 115 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:08,328 So I started developing a drug to target that area. 116 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,499 Made the neurons in that part of the brain fire at 10, 117 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,567 50, 1,000 times faster and more frequently 118 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,737 than they usually do. 119 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,506 - Uh, wow, um... 120 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,041 Did it work? 121 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,710 - We started testing it on primates. 122 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,546 And yeah, it worked... 123 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,347 on some of the apes. 124 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,517 The ones who tested higher on cognitive tests 125 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,452 before we gave them the medicine. 126 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:36,456 Suddenly, they could play complex notes on a keyboard. 127 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,960 - So, um, what happened to the ones it, like, didn't work on? 128 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,129 - They became highly aggressive. 129 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,131 Bloodthirsty. 130 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,800 Tore the other apes limb from limb. 131 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,801 I think the medicine has different effects 132 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,203 on creative and noncreative people. 133 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,305 It's almost like the noncreative ones 134 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,975 can tolerate their lack of talent 135 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:58,378 until they're confronted with it. 136 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,280 Then their mediocrity drives 'em mad. 137 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,217 So... 138 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,455 Wanna try one? 139 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,957 - Fuck no! 140 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,092 - Maybe you're one of the talented ones. 141 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,165 - Um... 142 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,570 Thanks but no, thanks. 143 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,573 Uh, look, can I just get my money? 144 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,407 - It's a long winter. 145 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:35,348 * 146 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,118 I'll give you $50 for anyone you convince 147 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,153 to come take one of these lil' black beauties. 148 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:47,194 * 149 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,667 - Maybe I should sing tonight. 150 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,036 Do you think they have any Joan Baez? 151 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,872 - Ooh, wow, Joan Baez. 152 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,041 Wait, doesn't, uh, singin' make your cough worse anyway? 153 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,543 - Yeah, but... 154 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,178 good news is, it's October and I've only had bronchitis 155 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,847 five times this year. 156 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,849 - Oh, that's a-- a real victory, Karen. 157 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,656 - I always get depressed this time of year. 158 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,726 - Oh, no, no. 159 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,695 I love it. 160 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:26,533 All the assholes leave town, and the galleries close, and... 161 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,871 none of the paintings inside them mock me when I walk by. 162 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,410 - Do you think you're talented? 163 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,078 Like, uh--like, uh-- like, if you just had, 164 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,547 like, a little bit of help, 165 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,082 you could paint things good enough for those galleries? 166 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,251 - Oh. 167 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,020 No. 168 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,389 No, I'm shit inside and out. 169 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:54,527 Can I have a hit, please, before I bore myself to tears? 170 00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,067 * 171 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,505 - * Don't go changing 172 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:08,575 ♪ To try and please me 173 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,345 ♪ You never let me down before ♪ 174 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:24,057 * 175 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:25,959 Hey. 176 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,795 I'm a singer. 177 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,896 Mickey sent me. 178 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:35,936 * 179 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,651 - Welcome, welcome to our last 180 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,654 Autumn Reading Octoberfest event. 181 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,624 Some people come out to the Cape to see the foliage, 182 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,793 others for a fresh bag of cranberries 183 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,962 or a walk in the dunes. 184 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,898 But the authors we've been lucky enough 185 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:07,300 to bring here to read their new works 186 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,839 are just as satisfying a draw, if you ask me. 187 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,407 Today I'd like to welcome Belle Noir, 188 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,577 a romance novelist, self-published, 189 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,080 who will be reading from her new book, 190 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,183 "Martha's Cherry Tree," 191 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,185 a rather racy retelling 192 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:28,121 of the George and Martha Washington story. 193 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:33,761 - Thank you. 194 00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:41,334 I'm going to read you a section of chapter 17. 195 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,539 Martha suspects George is sleeping 196 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,375 with one of their maids. 197 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:53,046 And upon searching the maid's bed, 198 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,716 she finds one of George's wooden teeth. 199 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,386 Rather than confront George, 200 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:03,656 she decides to seduce the maid herself. 201 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,827 "'I cannot tell a lie. 202 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,129 "I cannot tell a lie.' 203 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,698 "Had he whispered those false words 204 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,967 "to innocent little Penelope 205 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,870 "when he drove himself into her? 206 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,472 "Had he lied about loving her? 207 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,375 "Lied about her being the only one? 208 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,879 "Lied about never lying? 209 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,481 "The only thing that distracted her from these thoughts 210 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,584 "was the soft skin of Penelope's breasts and belly 211 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:35,856 "as Martha slowly kissed her way down to the hairy warmth 212 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,524 between the young maid's legs." 213 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:53,573 * 214 00:12:55,208 --> 00:13:02,215 * 215 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:02,782 Who should I make it out to? 216 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,952 - The Chemist. 217 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,289 You're a good writer. 218 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,458 - That's very kind of you. 219 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,093 - Got some real potential. 220 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,530 - Tell the publishing houses for me, would you? 221 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:22,369 * 222 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:31,311 * 223 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,647 You said you were going to come in for the reading. 224 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,818 - Your books gross me out. 225 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,487 - It grosses you out to hear your wife talk about sex? 226 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:44,057 - Yes, especially this book. 227 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,826 I can't look at a $1 bill or Mount Rushmore anymore 228 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,662 without wantin' to puke. 229 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,830 How many books did you sell? 230 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,400 - One. - For fuck's sake. 231 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,402 I would've just bought a book from you at home, 232 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,503 and we could've skipped this bullshit. 233 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,738 - It's not bullshit. 234 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,173 It's my dream. 235 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,841 - What do you want from me, Belle? 236 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,010 I'm here, aren't I? I agreed to puttin' up 237 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,845 a big chunk of our retirement for this dumb book tour, 238 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,681 during which we've sold six books. 239 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:09,816 You want me to support your dream? 240 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,519 Here I am, supporting the fuck out of it. 241 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,022 - And I'm grateful. 242 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:18,358 But can't you see I'm doing it for both of us? 243 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,027 I could be the next Danielle Steel. 244 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,195 She's worth a billion dollars. 245 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,197 - How many times has she been married? 246 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,865 - Four, maybe five. 247 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:29,269 - Well, I guess then there's one way you could be like her. 248 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,046 * 249 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,713 Let's go back to the hotel and freshen up 250 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,549 and then watch the sunset from Muse. 251 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,652 I hear it's beautiful. 252 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,554 - Do you want me to suck some cock while I'm in there? 253 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,057 - What? No. 254 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,324 - Then why are you asking me to go to a homo bar 255 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:55,295 and do something totally gay like watch the fucking sunset? 256 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,129 I wanna do something actually fun, 257 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,198 like the haunted dune tour. 258 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,534 - Sounds scary, I don't wanna have nightmares. 259 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,537 I need my sleep before the next tour stop in the Vineyard. 260 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,240 - You know why I'm really so angry at you? 261 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,541 It's not the stupid book tour 262 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,877 or the fact that you write about sex all day 263 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,579 but haven't touched my dick in two years. 264 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,580 It's that you're weak 265 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,581 and scared 266 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,883 and boring. 267 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,419 - I'm the same as I was when you married me 40 years ago. 268 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,254 - Well, I was at work for those 40 years. 269 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:21,921 Now that I have to be with you all the time, 270 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:25,092 it's intolerable. 271 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,859 - I hear they have great calamari! 272 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:38,505 * 273 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,074 - Hey. 274 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,576 Pretty cool color on your nails. 275 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,677 You mind if I join you? 276 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,514 - What are you, a hustler? 277 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,549 I wrote a book about a hustler 278 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,784 who ends up sleeping with the head of the KGB 279 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,954 and then becomes head of the CIA. 280 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,190 - That sounds awesome. 281 00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,691 I'd like to read that. 282 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,694 - I'll send you a copy. 283 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,131 You're wasting your time with me; I'm married. 284 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,465 - Wait. 285 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,967 I know you. 286 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,801 You're the author that was doing the reading 287 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,304 at the bookstore, right? 288 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,473 - Were you there? - Uh, well, no. 289 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,475 They, uh--they don't let me in there anymore 290 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,145 after I stole the, uh, "Screenplay for Dummies" book 291 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:18,911 a while back, but, uh, 292 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,413 I saw you through the window. 293 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,249 - You write too? 294 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,218 - Ah, sometimes, but not like you. 295 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,555 You're, like, a real published author. 296 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,058 - Self-published. 297 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,559 - Hey, I mean, 298 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,893 just finishing a book's a big deal, right? 299 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,066 - Let me buy you a drink. 300 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,567 - Yeah. 301 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,070 - I know they say that anyone can be a writer, 302 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,738 because all you have to do is sit down and write, 303 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,507 but that doesn't make you a writer any more 304 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,076 than a kid playing catch is a ballplayer 305 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,478 or a sperm donor is a dad. 306 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,746 I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world. 307 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:57,417 I mean, a lot of my stuff is schlock, but... 308 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,685 I'm a writer; I know I am. 309 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,019 I can't stop. 310 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,489 Even if it wrecks my marriage, 311 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,190 even if I go broke doing it, 312 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,525 even if I never sell a book, 313 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,260 it's who I am. 314 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,031 Can I ask you a question? 315 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,701 Do you have any cocaine? 316 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,537 I always wanted to try it, and you look like a drug addict. 317 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,206 No offense. 318 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,873 - Oh, none taken. 319 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,209 'Cause I am. - Mm. 320 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,712 - But, um, no, no coke. But... 321 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,847 I've got something better. 322 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:36,055 * 323 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:48,067 * 324 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:02,415 * 325 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,653 * 326 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,222 - Give me a Bloody Mary. 327 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,324 - Hey, dude, you don't look good. 328 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,493 - I feel sick. 329 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,896 I think that bitch Karen gave me bronchitis or something. 330 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,731 - You sure? 'Cause she says 331 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,999 she hasn't been sick in a while. 332 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:26,506 * 333 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,046 - I'm gonna puke. 334 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:59,272 * 335 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,321 - I'm so happy. 336 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,289 - Uh, yeah, that's the drugs. 337 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,457 - Then I want more. 338 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,158 - Yeah, you see, 339 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,827 it doesn't really work that way. 340 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,962 First time's the best, and then, uh, 341 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:23,563 you end up chasing that high forever, 342 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,633 and you never catch it. 343 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,134 - That's some bullshit. 344 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,001 - Mm-hmm. - 345 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,905 - Uh, you know, I, uh-- 346 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,575 I know someone that can give you something else. 347 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,076 Something that can make you happy forever. 348 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,177 - How come you're not taking it? 349 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,483 - 'Cause it's, uh-- it's not for me. 350 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,685 It only works for people like you. 351 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,687 Artists. 352 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:54,026 * 353 00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,363 We've been waitin' half an hour. 354 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,598 - I wanted to read this first. 355 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,434 You have talent. 356 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,602 - Thank you. - Took everything in me 357 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,871 not to rub one out during that threesome 358 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,275 with George and Martha and Ben Franklin. 359 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,876 - I've always found heavier-set men 360 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,610 to be extremely attractive. 361 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,115 - Mickey tell you what I'm offering? 362 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,217 - Making all my dreams come true. 363 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,218 I'm in. - You wanna know about 364 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,387 the side effects? 365 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,187 - I know I'm talented. 366 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,692 - The pills create certain cravings. 367 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,193 And they cause aggression 368 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,862 even in the subjects with positive results. 369 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,365 - I could use a little of that too. 370 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,867 According to my husband. 371 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,870 Please, I need this. 372 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,073 * 373 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,642 - The effects are temporary. 374 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,046 You're gonna have to keep taking them as it wears off. 375 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,247 And you're gonna have to stick around 376 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,883 and agree to let me study you. 377 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,085 - Whatever it takes... 378 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,022 * 379 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,525 To finding my destiny. 380 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:05,031 * 381 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:18,044 * 382 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,260 - You've reached Ray. Leave a message. 383 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,429 - Asshole. 384 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:50,710 * 385 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:12,231 * 386 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,876 - Good morning. 387 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,448 What's wrong with you? 388 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,882 - I wrote a book last night. 389 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,217 A whole book, and it's-- 390 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,887 it's beautiful. 391 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,889 - Bullshit. 392 00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,123 Let me see. 393 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,563 You didn't write this. 394 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,330 - What? 395 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:18,731 Yes, I did. - You couldn't have. 396 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,232 It's good. 397 00:23:22,201 --> 00:23:25,237 - I did write it! 398 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,239 I went out and danced 399 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,675 and took methamphetamine 400 00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:31,243 and met a chemist and had the time of my life! 401 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,245 And then I came home, and I wrote this! 402 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,414 Where the fuck were you? 403 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,849 - I went to the dunes tour, 404 00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:38,851 and I got drunk, 405 00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,720 and I met a woman who doesn't dress like a schoolteacher, 406 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,321 and I fucked her right there in the sand 407 00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:44,156 until we passed out. 408 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,059 Then we woke up and fucked again. 409 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,896 - - Now I'm gonna take a shower. 410 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,064 I'm gonna pack my things. 411 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:52,899 I'm gonna go over to the Red Inn. 412 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,166 I'm gonna fuck her for a third time. 413 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,002 Because this marriage... 414 00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,704 is over. 415 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,543 - What? 416 00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:05,578 You got something you wanna say? 417 00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:09,749 - Ah! 418 00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:20,627 * 419 00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:33,072 * 420 00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:35,074 - What was the feeling exactly? 421 00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:40,046 - I don't know. Rage? 422 00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:43,883 Like Braveheart or a beast of the wild. 423 00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,217 But that's not what made me attack him. 424 00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:47,987 - What was it? 425 00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,823 - Thirst. 426 00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,993 I could smell his blood through his skin. 427 00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:55,161 I was gonna die if I didn't drink it. 428 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,664 - Fascinating. 429 00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,832 Not surprising, but fascinating. 430 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:01,333 - You knew this was going to happen? 431 00:25:02,969 --> 00:25:05,104 After the rages, 432 00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,607 the apes would drink the blood of their kills. 433 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,909 When we autopsied the ones before they drank, 434 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:12,511 we noticed a depletion of sodium, potassium, 435 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,747 calcium, and magnesium in their blood. 436 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:18,585 I wasn't sure it'd have the same effect on humans, but... 437 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,252 makes sense that it would. 438 00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:21,754 - Am I going to have to keep drinking blood 439 00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:23,923 to keep writing like that? 440 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,194 - Would that stop you from continuing to take the pills? 441 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:33,600 * 442 00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:37,604 What happened after you drank from your husband? 443 00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:41,608 - I, uh, sat down and... 444 00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:45,612 wrote the first 50 pages of part two of my book. 445 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:48,615 I didn't even care about Ray. 446 00:25:48,648 --> 00:25:50,783 I just had to write. 447 00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:52,619 - First things first, 448 00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,220 you got to get rid of your husband's body. 449 00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:59,058 * 450 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:00,059 - Come on. 451 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:01,728 Mm. 452 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:07,333 * 453 00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:08,500 Ah! 454 00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:11,503 * 455 00:26:11,537 --> 00:26:13,239 No, no, no, no, no! Back, back, back. 456 00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,907 Jesus. 457 00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:15,908 Ew. 458 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,586 - Did your hair all fall out on its own? 459 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,221 - Most of it. 460 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,423 I shaved the rest. 461 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,425 Otherwise I'd look like Riff Raff from "Rocky Horror." 462 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,894 - Your skin is looking rather creamy. 463 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,729 Probably a form of anemia. 464 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,231 How's your temper? 465 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,067 Have you shown any aggression towards anyone? 466 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,068 - No. 467 00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,536 I'm a fucking Buddhist. 468 00:26:44,570 --> 00:26:47,707 I wanna be like Bono and use my music to help people. 469 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,876 I need more pills. 470 00:26:49,909 --> 00:26:51,110 The dose you gave me must have been too low. 471 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,380 I have never felt a jones like this before. 472 00:26:54,413 --> 00:26:57,216 - I told you, I set the protocol. 473 00:26:57,249 --> 00:26:59,285 And you don't get another pill until day five. 474 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,520 It's day three. 475 00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:02,722 - What did you do to me? 476 00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:03,890 Why is this happening to me? 477 00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:05,892 Please, give me a fix. 478 00:27:05,925 --> 00:27:07,293 Just one more pill. 479 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:08,728 - You're part of a very important study. 480 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:12,064 And you volunteered for it. 481 00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:12,965 Honestly, I don't know what's happening to you 482 00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:14,466 or what comes next. 483 00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:16,635 All I know is, no more pills for two days. 484 00:27:16,703 --> 00:27:18,805 - And if I die before then? 485 00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:21,373 I'm freezing cold. I can't stop shivering. 486 00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:21,808 Is that supposed to happen? 487 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,642 - It's October. 488 00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:26,612 You're wearing a light jacket. 489 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,447 Go get yourself a proper fucking coat. 490 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:35,554 * 491 00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:46,766 - I'm diggin' the look. 492 00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:50,002 Vampire Michael Stipe. 493 00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:52,104 Or anorexic Uncle Fester? 494 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,508 You want a tattoo? 495 00:27:56,575 --> 00:27:57,276 I do them in the back. 496 00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:58,945 I could give you bat wings 497 00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:01,413 or, like, a grim reaper dancing on your arm. 498 00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:02,414 - I need a coat. 499 00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,350 And I don't have a lot of money. 500 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:04,917 - I got just the thing. 501 00:28:04,951 --> 00:28:06,786 * 502 00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:08,254 - These look expensive. 503 00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:11,257 - They were, in the '80s. 504 00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:13,359 All the fashion gays from New York and Boston 505 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,362 came out here to let their dicks and rainbow flags fly. 506 00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:17,864 Then they all died and left behind closets 507 00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:20,099 full of this high-fashion stuff. 508 00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:21,533 When the straight yuppies moved into town, 509 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:25,537 they cleaned out the closets and donated all of it to us. 510 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:28,941 I was hoping to sell a few for Halloween, but no takers. 511 00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:31,443 I'll basically give one to you if you take it off my hands. 512 00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:43,956 * 513 00:28:53,699 --> 00:29:00,873 * 514 00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:09,248 You don't look well. 515 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:11,083 Would you pray with me? 516 00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:12,751 - Yeah. 517 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:21,861 * 518 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:29,235 * 519 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:39,278 * 520 00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:57,196 * 521 00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:58,564 - Awesome costume, dude. 522 00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:09,475 * 523 00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:17,716 - The candy's in the-- 524 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,051 Come in. 525 00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:22,821 What happened? 526 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:27,759 It states in section four of the contract you signed 527 00:30:27,793 --> 00:30:29,095 to be a part of the study 528 00:30:29,128 --> 00:30:30,162 that you have complete confidentiality 529 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,598 for anything you say in here. 530 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:34,934 - I was in the cemetery, and I-- 531 00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,936 I don't know what happened. 532 00:30:36,969 --> 00:30:38,104 I'm a vegan. 533 00:30:38,137 --> 00:30:40,272 I don't even eat those Impossible Burgers, 534 00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:42,274 but the thirst for her was too much. 535 00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:44,110 - How much blood did you drink? 536 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,012 - I don't fucking know! 537 00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:47,513 I killed her! 538 00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:49,448 She asked me to pray with her, and I killed her! 539 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,683 - Did you feel anger, rage? 540 00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:52,784 - Yes. Why? 541 00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:53,852 - You drank the blood 542 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,255 'cause the pills create a deficiency. 543 00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,992 You felt the rage because you now hate everyone. 544 00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:01,693 - Why? 545 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,530 I told you, I'm a pacifist. 546 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:06,032 - You hate everyone because you now know 547 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:08,034 the truth about yourself. 548 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:09,268 You're not talented. 549 00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:11,203 You don't have what it takes. 550 00:31:16,642 --> 00:31:18,777 - The talented ones need the blood, 551 00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:20,947 but their rage comes from their arrogance 552 00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:23,049 and certainty that they're better than everyone. 553 00:31:23,115 --> 00:31:26,785 The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. 554 00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:29,555 You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big. 555 00:31:30,789 --> 00:31:32,524 Back up, motherfucker. 556 00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:37,829 - Never come back here again. 557 00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:40,232 Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company soon. 558 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:43,502 Soon as word gets out about what I'm sellin' here, 559 00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:44,903 every asshole whose mother told him he could be 560 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,406 the next Elvis or Tyler Perry 561 00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,241 gonna take a chance on that little black pill. 562 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:52,511 Nine out of ten of 'em are gonna end up just like you. 563 00:31:52,544 --> 00:31:54,213 Now, get the fuck out my house. 564 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:58,750 * 565 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,391 * 566 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:08,327 - Ugh. 567 00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,766 Hey, dude. 568 00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,502 Never mix tequila and merlot. 569 00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,273 - 570 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:36,122 * 571 00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:38,457 - You wanna try that on? 572 00:32:38,524 --> 00:32:41,127 - I don't know, perhaps. 573 00:32:41,193 --> 00:32:43,129 I'm looking to create an entirely new closet, 574 00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,297 a whole new look. 575 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:46,465 - New guy in your life? 576 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,467 - Mm, no, I like to play the field, 577 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,636 preferably with multiple players. 578 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,140 - I left my husband a few winters ago. 579 00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,641 Left him in pieces on the beach. 580 00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:58,310 Just kidding. 581 00:32:58,377 --> 00:33:00,946 - I killed my last boyfriend. 582 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,483 He could bang me pretty good, but he was boring as fuck. 583 00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:05,651 So I drank him dry and burned the body. 584 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,820 - How long you been on the pill? 585 00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:10,656 - Two years. You? 586 00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:11,957 - Couple of months. 587 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,959 What's motivating the new look? 588 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,961 - I always thought that a woman should pick a look 589 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:18,464 before she turns 40 and stick with it. 590 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,500 For men, it's 50. And I did that. 591 00:33:21,567 --> 00:33:22,668 But lately I've been thinking that that's a rule 592 00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:25,137 for people with no second act. 593 00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:26,972 I've published six "New York Times" best sellers 594 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,674 in the past two years, 595 00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:30,276 one that was turned into a film franchise. 596 00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:33,179 "The Heart is the Bitterest Root," 597 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,114 I love those movies. 598 00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:37,283 - What about you, dear? 599 00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:38,450 How does your little black pill-driven greatness 600 00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:40,352 express itself? 601 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,321 - Tattoos. 602 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,823 And these. 603 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,325 - Oh, my! How convenient. 604 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,860 I must have a set! 605 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:49,528 - I can arrange that. 606 00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,962 Step into my office. 607 00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,366 After, we can give you a wardrobe makeover. 608 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,502 - Mm, I'm belle of the ball. 609 00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:08,480 * 610 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:16,355 * 611 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,789 - $5 cover. 612 00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:20,025 It's drag night. We gotta pay the performers. 613 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:24,896 * 614 00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:26,165 - Wanna check my ID? 615 00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:29,168 - Nah. You're good. 616 00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:35,507 - Thank you! We're gonna take a short break 617 00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:37,676 before our next performer! 618 00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:49,488 * 619 00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:51,323 - Drag is an art form. 620 00:34:51,357 --> 00:34:52,424 I am a professional. 621 00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,660 You three... 622 00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:55,761 straight boys in bad wigs. 623 00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:57,596 - Pfft! 624 00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,331 - You know, men have been performing in women's clothing 625 00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:01,333 since the time of the Greeks. 626 00:35:01,367 --> 00:35:04,270 You all just appropriated it for gay culture. 627 00:35:04,336 --> 00:35:05,937 - Speak for yourself, dude. 628 00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:09,107 I don't give two shits who's appropriate or not appropriate. 629 00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:10,609 All I know is, I can make more doin' this than painting houses 630 00:35:10,676 --> 00:35:12,778 or stealing from my grandmother. 631 00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,780 My problem with you is, 632 00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:17,283 you're the ugliest fuckin' woman I ever seen. 633 00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,786 - And your drag name is awful. 634 00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,454 - Patty O'Furniture. 635 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,290 That's an awesome name. 636 00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:25,391 - And why in the hell do you think people 637 00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:26,958 want to be thinkin' of some suburban deck chair 638 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,627 while you perform for them? 639 00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:30,296 Look at me! 640 00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:32,764 I'm Crystal Decanter. 641 00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:35,801 I ooze elegance and shine. 642 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,469 I don't know why y'all are tryin' to read him 643 00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:38,304 when y'all are just as bad as he is, 644 00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,771 probably worse. 645 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,275 - Next up, Patty O'Furniture. 646 00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:44,476 - Oh, fuck my life. 647 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:46,812 - Don't even try to upstage me, asswipe. 648 00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:49,481 - - What a loser. 649 00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:52,218 - Boo! 650 00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:54,220 - Break a nail, whore. - Yeah. 651 00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:55,654 - The only thing he's gonna break is his heels. 652 00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:57,789 - Loser. - Ugh. 653 00:35:57,823 --> 00:36:00,792 * 654 00:36:06,965 --> 00:36:10,602 * 655 00:36:10,636 --> 00:36:11,770 - * Cold late night 656 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:13,605 * So long ago 657 00:36:13,639 --> 00:36:16,107 * When I was not so strong, you know * 658 00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:17,008 * A pretty man came to me 659 00:36:17,075 --> 00:36:19,278 - Boo, boo! - Awful! 660 00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:20,346 - * Never seen eyes so blue 661 00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:22,781 * You know I could not run away, it seemed * 662 00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:25,116 * We'd seen each other in a dream * 663 00:36:25,150 --> 00:36:27,686 * Seemed like he knew me 664 00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:31,323 * He looked right through me, yeah * 665 00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:32,791 - Tell 'em, girlfriend! 666 00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:40,131 - * "Come on home, girl," he said with a smile * 667 00:36:40,165 --> 00:36:41,199 * "You don't have to love me yet * 668 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,534 * Let's get high awhile" 669 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:43,969 - You suck! 670 00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:46,204 - * But try to understand 671 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:48,807 * Try to understand 672 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:53,312 * Oh, oh-oh 673 00:36:53,345 --> 00:36:55,881 * Try 674 00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:58,216 * Try to understand 675 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:01,820 * Try, try, try to understand * 676 00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:04,390 - - Loser! 677 00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,458 - * He's a magic man 678 00:37:06,492 --> 00:37:08,059 * Oh, yeah 679 00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:11,062 * Ooh 680 00:37:11,129 --> 00:37:15,734 * He got the magic hands 681 00:37:15,801 --> 00:37:18,737 * He's a magic man 682 00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:20,171 * Yeah 683 00:37:20,205 --> 00:37:24,175 * Oh, oh 684 00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:43,995 - What is it? 685 00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:45,364 - Does it matter? 686 00:37:45,397 --> 00:37:48,600 Goes down easy and gets you high. 687 00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:52,938 - Uh-huh. 688 00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:57,943 * 689 00:37:58,009 --> 00:38:00,512 - You don't belong in here... 690 00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:02,448 doing this... 691 00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:04,115 dressed like that. 692 00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:07,285 I've got a nose for talent. 693 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,787 Why is a young man of your gifts 694 00:38:08,787 --> 00:38:10,922 lip-synching in drag 695 00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:13,425 on the cock tip of Cape Cod in the winter? 696 00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:15,293 - I'm a playwright. 697 00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:17,629 I sweet-talked the owner of the playhouse in town 698 00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:19,765 into putting on one of my plays. 699 00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:22,601 I rented a place, I moved out here, 700 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:26,104 I started casting, and then the guy just... 701 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,773 disappeared. 702 00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:28,073 Not a trace of him. 703 00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:29,775 - Oh. 704 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,042 What'd he look like? 705 00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:34,145 - Like, six feet tall, chubby, 706 00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,382 kind of red face all the time. 707 00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,650 Why, have you seen him? 708 00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:45,824 * 709 00:38:45,891 --> 00:38:47,493 - No. 710 00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:54,666 I'm doin' this drag thing just to pay for food, 711 00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,967 pack of smokes. 712 00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,505 I'm bad at it. 713 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,507 I know I'm bad at it. 714 00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:04,109 I just feel like an engine that won't turn over. 715 00:39:04,142 --> 00:39:07,779 I just--I turn the key, and I click, click, click, 716 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,115 and I can't catch. 717 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:16,688 * 718 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,189 What's that? 719 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:21,627 - It's your new starter switch. 720 00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:23,862 It's the highway to your true self. 721 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:27,198 * 722 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,701 - Fuck it. 723 00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:59,397 What did you give me? 724 00:39:59,465 --> 00:40:02,834 - What do you feel? 725 00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:04,402 - Unstoppable. Unafraid. 726 00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:07,405 Furious. 727 00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:12,243 And starving. 728 00:40:12,310 --> 00:40:14,179 - Let's go get you fed 729 00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:17,516 and get a little revenge at the same time. 730 00:40:17,549 --> 00:40:18,917 * 731 00:40:18,984 --> 00:40:20,752 - Yeah. 732 00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:23,755 * 733 00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:25,991 - All of these ladies have found themselves 734 00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:28,494 in a dead heat for first. 735 00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,095 - I would do so much better 736 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,763 than all these bitches on this show. 737 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:33,832 - Can we please watch something else? 738 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,266 - I told you straight boys, 739 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:38,203 if you want makeup tips from Ms. Crystal, 740 00:40:38,236 --> 00:40:41,439 you pay for the pizza, and we watch what I wanna watch. 741 00:40:41,507 --> 00:40:43,274 - I kind of like this show. 742 00:40:43,341 --> 00:40:44,943 High fuckin' drama, you know? 743 00:40:45,010 --> 00:40:46,444 - Please put on a hockey game before I start singin' 744 00:40:46,512 --> 00:40:48,547 "The Wizard of Oz" and thinkin' about dick. 745 00:40:52,017 --> 00:40:55,053 - Can we help you? 746 00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:56,354 - If you're gonna make it in this business, 747 00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:58,356 you might want to camp it up a little bit more, sweetheart. 748 00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:01,126 Though I do like her wig. 749 00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:03,428 - Oh, I'm not one of you. 750 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,263 - - Ugh. 751 00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:08,099 - Ugh, well, no wonder you have no sparkle. 752 00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:10,301 Gettin' advice from that sultan of snore. 753 00:41:10,368 --> 00:41:11,970 - Lock the door. 754 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,640 - Ah! 755 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,320 Retreat! 756 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:34,092 * 757 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,126 - Hiyah! 758 00:41:36,662 --> 00:41:38,597 Ugh. 759 00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:43,602 - You can't win 'em all. 760 00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,437 I'm full anyway. 761 00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:47,839 - What do we do now? 762 00:41:47,906 --> 00:41:49,675 - Now... 763 00:41:49,741 --> 00:41:50,976 we go write. 764 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:55,814 * 765 00:41:58,584 --> 00:42:04,255 * 766 00:42:12,163 --> 00:42:15,033 Okay, it's okay. 767 00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:19,705 Okay.