1
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:16,184
*
2
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:26,094
- Hi, hi.
3
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:32,633
Norman Mailer lived,
uh, two doors down.
4
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,035
I saw him bite
Rip Torn's ear off one night.
5
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,805
Seems like
a different lifetime.
6
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,640
If you're looking
for more action, I can, uh,
7
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,042
show you something
on Commercial Street.
8
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,978
But you should know that
by November, even downtown
9
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,548
is so empty and quiet that
you could hear a gnat fart.
10
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,050
- I like the quiet.
11
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,186
Need my privacy.
12
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,053
How's the ventilation?
13
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,356
These old houses
can get pretty stuffy.
14
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,890
- You a writer?
15
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,892
Painter?
16
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,528
Hermit?
17
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,163
I know you're not here
for the social scene,
18
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,031
whatever's left of it.
19
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,134
I've been here for 50 years.
20
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:08,969
You know, back in the day,
you'd walk downtown,
21
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,539
and you'd see boys getting
butt-fucked on front porches
22
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,308
like some kind of perverted
Norman Rockwell painting.
23
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:18,045
It was true
homosexual Americana.
24
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,882
Now it's Mom and Dad
or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom
25
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,418
and baby stroller gridlock
all fucking summer long.
26
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,920
- I just left my job
at a lab in Providence.
27
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,021
- What are you, a chemist?
28
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,360
- It was an ugly divorce.
29
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,761
I just need some time alone.
30
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,429
- Let's cut the bullshit.
31
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,366
A big-city chemist
looking for a quiet place
32
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,768
with great ventilation
in a town where the things
33
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,936
that are most plentiful
for eight months a year
34
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,339
are methheads, choppy seas,
and depression?
35
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,907
That sounds like a woman
looking to set up
36
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,342
her own little meth lab.
37
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,010
- I have a PhD from Harvard.
38
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,181
Meth is well below
my pay grade.
39
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,248
- Good.
40
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,250
'Cause the sheriff has a nose
like a truffle pig
41
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:59,453
for that junk.
42
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,055
- Just lookin' for some quiet.
43
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,124
I'll take it.
44
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:13,267
*
45
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:39,393
*
46
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:12,860
*
47
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,255
- Do you know that guy,
uh, Tex?
48
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,590
He cruises the docks?
49
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,192
- Wait, don't tell me.
He's from Texas.
50
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,093
- Yeah.
How'd you know?
51
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,197
Anyway, he taught me this trick
52
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,198
you do right before
a guy comes.
53
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,568
- Mm.
- You press down on his taint,
54
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,869
you time it just right,
55
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,204
you can get him to come again
right away.
56
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,674
- Mm, but you'll charge me
for just the one, right?
57
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,842
- Exactly.
58
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,010
- You're playing
out of your league.
59
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,346
Scram.
60
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,913
- Look,
can I just borrow ten bucks?
61
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,383
- I said scram, methhead.
62
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,288
- Hi.
- Hi.
63
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:51,559
- I'm new in town,
got a few extra bucks.
64
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,126
You do girls too?
65
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,795
- Yep.
Here.
66
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,697
Look at that.
I'm a gentleman.
67
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,971
*
68
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,238
Don't touch anything.
69
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:12,580
- So, uh, what do you want?
70
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:13,313
Kind of do things
as a standard
71
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,583
sliding scale kind of deal.
72
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,051
It's, uh, $50 for oral.
73
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,219
Straight-up sex, that's $100,
74
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,822
but I'm currently running
a Halloween special.
75
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,126
I'll do anything for 20 bucks.
76
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,961
- But Halloween
isn't for a week.
77
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,898
- Mm.
It's a, um, seasonal thing.
78
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,666
- I just wanna talk.
79
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:36,169
I'll pay you for your time.
80
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,242
- All right.
81
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,678
- Tell me about your dreams.
82
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,679
- Like, at night?
83
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,849
- No.
Like, in life.
84
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:53,320
You ever wanna be a model
or play for the Yankees?
85
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,623
- You really think
I could be a model?
86
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,026
- No.
But you must have something.
87
00:05:59,092 --> 00:05:59,927
Everyone does.
88
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,665
- Well, I write a little.
89
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,834
- You any good?
90
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,036
- I don't know.
91
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,504
I don't think
I've ever shown anyone
92
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,873
anything I've written
before, but, uh...
93
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,209
um, yeah, you know,
I think I'm pretty good.
94
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,346
Why, you, like, a big-time
movie producer or something?
95
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,182
- I'm a biochemical engineer.
96
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,684
Spent the past nine years
working with the U.S. military
97
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,486
trying to understand and unlock
98
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,555
the creative parts
of the brain.
99
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,890
- They wanna make
more creative soldiers?
100
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,725
- Less.
101
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,393
They don't want them
to think for themselves.
102
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,162
But to lock up
the creative mind,
103
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,031
we also have to understand
how to unlock it.
104
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,366
We have tons of research
105
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,534
from studying
highly creative people.
106
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,803
Every one of 'em
says the same thing.
107
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,873
They don't know
where it comes from.
108
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,375
But I do.
109
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,478
The occipital lobe.
110
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,981
Talented people have denser,
more numerous clusters
111
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,983
of neurons in that area.
112
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,752
I don't care if you are
Bill fucking Shakespeare.
113
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,889
If I whack you hard enough
in that part of your head,
114
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,892
you'll never write again.
115
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:08,328
So I started developing a drug
to target that area.
116
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,499
Made the neurons in that part
of the brain fire at 10,
117
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,567
50, 1,000 times faster
and more frequently
118
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,737
than they usually do.
119
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,506
- Uh, wow, um...
120
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,041
Did it work?
121
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,710
- We started testing it
on primates.
122
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,546
And yeah, it worked...
123
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,347
on some of the apes.
124
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,517
The ones who tested higher
on cognitive tests
125
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,452
before we gave them
the medicine.
126
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:36,456
Suddenly, they could play
complex notes on a keyboard.
127
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,960
- So, um, what happened to the
ones it, like, didn't work on?
128
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,129
- They became
highly aggressive.
129
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,131
Bloodthirsty.
130
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,800
Tore the other apes
limb from limb.
131
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,801
I think the medicine
has different effects
132
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,203
on creative
and noncreative people.
133
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,305
It's almost like
the noncreative ones
134
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,975
can tolerate
their lack of talent
135
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:58,378
until they're confronted
with it.
136
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,280
Then their mediocrity
drives 'em mad.
137
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,217
So...
138
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,455
Wanna try one?
139
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,957
- Fuck no!
140
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,092
- Maybe you're one
of the talented ones.
141
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,165
- Um...
142
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,570
Thanks but no, thanks.
143
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,573
Uh, look,
can I just get my money?
144
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,407
- It's a long winter.
145
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:35,348
*
146
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,118
I'll give you $50
for anyone you convince
147
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,153
to come take one
of these lil' black beauties.
148
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:47,194
*
149
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,667
- Maybe I should sing tonight.
150
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,036
Do you think they have
any Joan Baez?
151
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,872
- Ooh, wow, Joan Baez.
152
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,041
Wait, doesn't, uh, singin'
make your cough worse anyway?
153
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,543
- Yeah, but...
154
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,178
good news is, it's October
and I've only had bronchitis
155
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,847
five times this year.
156
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,849
- Oh, that's a--
a real victory, Karen.
157
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,656
- I always get depressed
this time of year.
158
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,726
- Oh, no, no.
159
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,695
I love it.
160
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:26,533
All the assholes leave town,
and the galleries close, and...
161
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,871
none of the paintings inside
them mock me when I walk by.
162
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,410
- Do you think you're talented?
163
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,078
Like, uh--like, uh--
like, if you just had,
164
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,547
like, a little bit of help,
165
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,082
you could paint things good
enough for those galleries?
166
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,251
- Oh.
167
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,020
No.
168
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,389
No, I'm shit
inside and out.
169
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:54,527
Can I have a hit, please,
before I bore myself to tears?
170
00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,067
*
171
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,505
- * Don't go changing
172
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:08,575
♪ To try and please me
173
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,345
♪ You never let me down
before ♪
174
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:24,057
*
175
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:25,959
Hey.
176
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,795
I'm a singer.
177
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,896
Mickey sent me.
178
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:35,936
*
179
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,651
- Welcome, welcome to our last
180
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,654
Autumn Reading
Octoberfest event.
181
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,624
Some people come out
to the Cape to see the foliage,
182
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,793
others for a fresh bag
of cranberries
183
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,962
or a walk in the dunes.
184
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,898
But the authors
we've been lucky enough
185
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:07,300
to bring here
to read their new works
186
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,839
are just as satisfying a draw,
if you ask me.
187
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,407
Today I'd like to welcome
Belle Noir,
188
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,577
a romance novelist,
self-published,
189
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,080
who will be reading
from her new book,
190
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,183
"Martha's Cherry Tree,"
191
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,185
a rather racy retelling
192
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:28,121
of the George
and Martha Washington story.
193
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:33,761
- Thank you.
194
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:41,334
I'm going to read you
a section of chapter 17.
195
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,539
Martha suspects
George is sleeping
196
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,375
with one of their maids.
197
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:53,046
And upon searching
the maid's bed,
198
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,716
she finds one
of George's wooden teeth.
199
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,386
Rather than confront George,
200
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:03,656
she decides
to seduce the maid herself.
201
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,827
"'I cannot tell a lie.
202
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,129
"I cannot tell a lie.'
203
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,698
"Had he whispered
those false words
204
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,967
"to innocent little Penelope
205
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,870
"when he drove himself
into her?
206
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,472
"Had he lied about loving her?
207
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,375
"Lied about her
being the only one?
208
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,879
"Lied about never lying?
209
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,481
"The only thing that distracted
her from these thoughts
210
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,584
"was the soft skin
of Penelope's breasts and belly
211
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:35,856
"as Martha slowly kissed her
way down to the hairy warmth
212
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,524
between the young maid's legs."
213
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:53,573
*
214
00:12:55,208 --> 00:13:02,215
*
215
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:02,782
Who should I make it out to?
216
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,952
- The Chemist.
217
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,289
You're a good writer.
218
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,458
- That's very kind of you.
219
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,093
- Got some real potential.
220
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,530
- Tell the publishing houses
for me, would you?
221
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:22,369
*
222
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:31,311
*
223
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,647
You said you were going
to come in for the reading.
224
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,818
- Your books gross me out.
225
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,487
- It grosses you out to hear
your wife talk about sex?
226
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:44,057
- Yes, especially this book.
227
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,826
I can't look at a $1 bill
or Mount Rushmore anymore
228
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,662
without wantin' to puke.
229
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,830
How many books did you sell?
230
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,400
- One.
- For fuck's sake.
231
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,402
I would've just bought
a book from you at home,
232
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,503
and we could've skipped
this bullshit.
233
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,738
- It's not bullshit.
234
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,173
It's my dream.
235
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,841
- What do you want from me,
Belle?
236
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,010
I'm here, aren't I?
I agreed to puttin' up
237
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,845
a big chunk of our retirement
for this dumb book tour,
238
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,681
during which
we've sold six books.
239
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:09,816
You want me
to support your dream?
240
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,519
Here I am,
supporting the fuck out of it.
241
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,022
- And I'm grateful.
242
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:18,358
But can't you see
I'm doing it for both of us?
243
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,027
I could be
the next Danielle Steel.
244
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,195
She's worth a billion dollars.
245
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,197
- How many times
has she been married?
246
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,865
- Four, maybe five.
247
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:29,269
- Well, I guess then there's
one way you could be like her.
248
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,046
*
249
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,713
Let's go back to the hotel
and freshen up
250
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,549
and then watch the sunset
from Muse.
251
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,652
I hear it's beautiful.
252
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,554
- Do you want me to suck
some cock while I'm in there?
253
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,057
- What?
No.
254
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,324
- Then why are you asking me
to go to a homo bar
255
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:55,295
and do something totally gay
like watch the fucking sunset?
256
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,129
I wanna do something
actually fun,
257
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,198
like the haunted dune tour.
258
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,534
- Sounds scary,
I don't wanna have nightmares.
259
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,537
I need my sleep before the next
tour stop in the Vineyard.
260
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,240
- You know why
I'm really so angry at you?
261
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,541
It's not the stupid book tour
262
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,877
or the fact that
you write about sex all day
263
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,579
but haven't touched my dick
in two years.
264
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,580
It's that you're weak
265
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,581
and scared
266
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,883
and boring.
267
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,419
- I'm the same as I was when
you married me 40 years ago.
268
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,254
- Well, I was at work
for those 40 years.
269
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:21,921
Now that I have
to be with you all the time,
270
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:25,092
it's intolerable.
271
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,859
- I hear they have
great calamari!
272
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:38,505
*
273
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,074
- Hey.
274
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,576
Pretty cool color
on your nails.
275
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,677
You mind if I join you?
276
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,514
- What are you, a hustler?
277
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,549
I wrote a book about a hustler
278
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,784
who ends up sleeping
with the head of the KGB
279
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,954
and then becomes
head of the CIA.
280
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,190
- That sounds awesome.
281
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,691
I'd like to read that.
282
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,694
- I'll send you a copy.
283
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,131
You're wasting your time
with me; I'm married.
284
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,465
- Wait.
285
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,967
I know you.
286
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,801
You're the author
that was doing the reading
287
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,304
at the bookstore, right?
288
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,473
- Were you there?
- Uh, well, no.
289
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,475
They, uh--they don't
let me in there anymore
290
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,145
after I stole the, uh,
"Screenplay for Dummies" book
291
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:18,911
a while back, but, uh,
292
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,413
I saw you through the window.
293
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,249
- You write too?
294
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,218
- Ah, sometimes,
but not like you.
295
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,555
You're, like,
a real published author.
296
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,058
- Self-published.
297
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,559
- Hey, I mean,
298
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,893
just finishing a book's
a big deal, right?
299
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,066
- Let me buy you a drink.
300
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,567
- Yeah.
301
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,070
- I know they say
that anyone can be a writer,
302
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,738
because all you have to do
is sit down and write,
303
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,507
but that doesn't make you
a writer any more
304
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,076
than a kid playing catch
is a ballplayer
305
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,478
or a sperm donor is a dad.
306
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,746
I know I'm not the greatest
writer in the world.
307
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:57,417
I mean, a lot of my stuff
is schlock, but...
308
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,685
I'm a writer; I know I am.
309
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,019
I can't stop.
310
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,489
Even if it wrecks my marriage,
311
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,190
even if I go broke doing it,
312
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,525
even if I never sell a book,
313
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,260
it's who I am.
314
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,031
Can I ask you a question?
315
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,701
Do you have any cocaine?
316
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,537
I always wanted to try it, and
you look like a drug addict.
317
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,206
No offense.
318
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,873
- Oh, none taken.
319
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,209
'Cause I am.
- Mm.
320
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,712
- But, um, no, no coke.
But...
321
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,847
I've got something better.
322
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:36,055
*
323
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:48,067
*
324
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:02,415
*
325
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,653
*
326
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,222
- Give me a Bloody Mary.
327
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,324
- Hey, dude,
you don't look good.
328
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,493
- I feel sick.
329
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:16,896
I think that bitch Karen gave
me bronchitis or something.
330
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,731
- You sure?
'Cause she says
331
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,999
she hasn't been sick
in a while.
332
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:26,506
*
333
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,046
- I'm gonna puke.
334
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:59,272
*
335
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,321
- I'm so happy.
336
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,289
- Uh, yeah, that's the drugs.
337
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,457
- Then I want more.
338
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,158
-
Yeah, you see,
339
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,827
it doesn't really
work that way.
340
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,962
First time's the best,
and then, uh,
341
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:23,563
you end up
chasing that high forever,
342
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,633
and you never catch it.
343
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,134
- That's some bullshit.
344
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,001
- Mm-hmm.
-
345
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,905
- Uh,
you know, I, uh--
346
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,575
I know someone that can
give you something else.
347
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,076
Something that can
make you happy forever.
348
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,177
- How come
you're not taking it?
349
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,483
- 'Cause it's, uh--
it's not for me.
350
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,685
It only works
for people like you.
351
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,687
Artists.
352
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:54,026
*
353
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,363
We've been waitin'
half an hour.
354
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,598
- I wanted to read this first.
355
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,434
You have talent.
356
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,602
- Thank you.
- Took everything in me
357
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,871
not to rub one out
during that threesome
358
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,275
with George and Martha
and Ben Franklin.
359
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,876
- I've always found
heavier-set men
360
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,610
to be extremely attractive.
361
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,115
- Mickey tell you
what I'm offering?
362
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,217
- Making all my dreams
come true.
363
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,218
I'm in.
- You wanna know about
364
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,387
the side effects?
365
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,187
- I know I'm talented.
366
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,692
- The pills
create certain cravings.
367
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,193
And they cause aggression
368
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,862
even in the subjects
with positive results.
369
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,365
- I could use
a little of that too.
370
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,867
According to my husband.
371
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,870
Please, I need this.
372
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,073
*
373
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,642
- The effects are temporary.
374
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,046
You're gonna have to keep
taking them as it wears off.
375
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,247
And you're gonna have
to stick around
376
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,883
and agree to let me study you.
377
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,085
- Whatever it takes...
378
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,022
*
379
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,525
To finding my destiny.
380
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:05,031
*
381
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:18,044
*
382
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,260
- You've reached Ray.
Leave a message.
383
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,429
- Asshole.
384
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:50,710
*
385
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:12,231
*
386
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,876
- Good morning.
387
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,448
What's wrong with you?
388
00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,882
- I wrote a book last night.
389
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,217
A whole book, and it's--
390
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,887
it's beautiful.
391
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,889
- Bullshit.
392
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,123
Let me see.
393
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,563
You didn't write this.
394
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,330
- What?
395
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:18,731
Yes, I did.
- You couldn't have.
396
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,232
It's good.
397
00:23:22,201 --> 00:23:25,237
- I did write it!
398
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,239
I went out and danced
399
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,675
and took methamphetamine
400
00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:31,243
and met a chemist
and had the time of my life!
401
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,245
And then I came home,
and I wrote this!
402
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,414
Where the fuck were you?
403
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,849
- I went to the dunes tour,
404
00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:38,851
and I got drunk,
405
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,720
and I met a woman who doesn't
dress like a schoolteacher,
406
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,321
and I fucked her
right there in the sand
407
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:44,156
until we passed out.
408
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,059
Then we woke up
and fucked again.
409
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,896
-
- Now I'm gonna take a shower.
410
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,064
I'm gonna pack my things.
411
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:52,899
I'm gonna go over
to the Red Inn.
412
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,166
I'm gonna fuck her
for a third time.
413
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,002
Because this marriage...
414
00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,704
is over.
415
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,543
- What?
416
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:05,578
You got something
you wanna say?
417
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:09,749
- Ah!
418
00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:20,627
*
419
00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:33,072
*
420
00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:35,074
- What was the feeling exactly?
421
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:40,046
- I don't know.
Rage?
422
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:43,883
Like Braveheart
or a beast of the wild.
423
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,217
But that's not
what made me attack him.
424
00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:47,987
- What was it?
425
00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,823
- Thirst.
426
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,993
I could smell his blood
through his skin.
427
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:55,161
I was gonna die
if I didn't drink it.
428
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,664
- Fascinating.
429
00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,832
Not surprising,
but fascinating.
430
00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:01,333
- You knew this
was going to happen?
431
00:25:02,969 --> 00:25:05,104
After the rages,
432
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,607
the apes would drink the blood
of their kills.
433
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,909
When we autopsied
the ones before they drank,
434
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:12,511
we noticed a depletion
of sodium, potassium,
435
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,747
calcium, and magnesium
in their blood.
436
00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:18,585
I wasn't sure it'd have the
same effect on humans, but...
437
00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,252
makes sense that it would.
438
00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:21,754
- Am I going to have
to keep drinking blood
439
00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:23,923
to keep writing like that?
440
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,194
- Would that stop you from
continuing to take the pills?
441
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:33,600
*
442
00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:37,604
What happened after
you drank from your husband?
443
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:41,608
- I, uh, sat down and...
444
00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:45,612
wrote the first 50 pages
of part two of my book.
445
00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:48,615
I didn't even care about Ray.
446
00:25:48,648 --> 00:25:50,783
I just had to write.
447
00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:52,619
- First things first,
448
00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,220
you got to get rid
of your husband's body.
449
00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:59,058
*
450
00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:00,059
- Come on.
451
00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:01,728
Mm.
452
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:07,333
*
453
00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:08,500
Ah!
454
00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:11,503
*
455
00:26:11,537 --> 00:26:13,239
No, no, no, no, no!
Back, back, back.
456
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,907
Jesus.
457
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:15,908
Ew.
458
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,586
- Did your hair all fall out
on its own?
459
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,221
- Most of it.
460
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,423
I shaved the rest.
461
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,425
Otherwise I'd look like
Riff Raff from "Rocky Horror."
462
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,894
- Your skin
is looking rather creamy.
463
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,729
Probably a form of anemia.
464
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,231
How's your temper?
465
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,067
Have you shown
any aggression towards anyone?
466
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,068
- No.
467
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,536
I'm a fucking Buddhist.
468
00:26:44,570 --> 00:26:47,707
I wanna be like Bono and use
my music to help people.
469
00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,876
I need more pills.
470
00:26:49,909 --> 00:26:51,110
The dose you gave me
must have been too low.
471
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,380
I have never felt a jones
like this before.
472
00:26:54,413 --> 00:26:57,216
- I told you,
I set the protocol.
473
00:26:57,249 --> 00:26:59,285
And you don't get another pill
until day five.
474
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,520
It's day three.
475
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:02,722
- What did you do to me?
476
00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:03,890
Why is this happening to me?
477
00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:05,892
Please, give me a fix.
478
00:27:05,925 --> 00:27:07,293
Just one more pill.
479
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:08,728
- You're part
of a very important study.
480
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:12,064
And you volunteered for it.
481
00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:12,965
Honestly, I don't know
what's happening to you
482
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:14,466
or what comes next.
483
00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:16,635
All I know is,
no more pills for two days.
484
00:27:16,703 --> 00:27:18,805
- And if I die before then?
485
00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:21,373
I'm freezing cold.
I can't stop shivering.
486
00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:21,808
Is that supposed to happen?
487
00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,642
- It's October.
488
00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:26,612
You're wearing a light jacket.
489
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,447
Go get yourself
a proper fucking coat.
490
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:35,554
*
491
00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:46,766
- I'm diggin' the look.
492
00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:50,002
Vampire Michael Stipe.
493
00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:52,104
Or anorexic Uncle Fester?
494
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,508
You want a tattoo?
495
00:27:56,575 --> 00:27:57,276
I do them in the back.
496
00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:58,945
I could give you bat wings
497
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:01,413
or, like, a grim reaper
dancing on your arm.
498
00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:02,414
- I need a coat.
499
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,350
And I don't have
a lot of money.
500
00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:04,917
- I got just the thing.
501
00:28:04,951 --> 00:28:06,786
*
502
00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:08,254
- These look expensive.
503
00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:11,257
- They were, in the '80s.
504
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:13,359
All the fashion gays
from New York and Boston
505
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,362
came out here to let their
dicks and rainbow flags fly.
506
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:17,864
Then they all died
and left behind closets
507
00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:20,099
full of this
high-fashion stuff.
508
00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:21,533
When the straight yuppies
moved into town,
509
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:25,537
they cleaned out the closets
and donated all of it to us.
510
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:28,941
I was hoping to sell a few
for Halloween, but no takers.
511
00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:31,443
I'll basically give one to you
if you take it off my hands.
512
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:43,956
*
513
00:28:53,699 --> 00:29:00,873
*
514
00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:09,248
You don't look well.
515
00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:11,083
Would you pray with me?
516
00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:12,751
- Yeah.
517
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:21,861
*
518
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:29,235
*
519
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:39,278
*
520
00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:57,196
*
521
00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:58,564
-
Awesome costume, dude.
522
00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:09,475
*
523
00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:17,716
- The candy's in the--
524
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,051
Come in.
525
00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:22,821
What happened?
526
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:27,759
It states in section four
of the contract you signed
527
00:30:27,793 --> 00:30:29,095
to be a part of the study
528
00:30:29,128 --> 00:30:30,162
that you have complete
confidentiality
529
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,598
for anything you say in here.
530
00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:34,934
- I was in the cemetery,
and I--
531
00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,936
I don't know what happened.
532
00:30:36,969 --> 00:30:38,104
I'm a vegan.
533
00:30:38,137 --> 00:30:40,272
I don't even eat
those Impossible Burgers,
534
00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:42,274
but the thirst for her
was too much.
535
00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:44,110
- How much blood did you drink?
536
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:46,012
- I don't fucking know!
537
00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:47,513
I killed her!
538
00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:49,448
She asked me to pray with her,
and I killed her!
539
00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,683
- Did you feel anger, rage?
540
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:52,784
- Yes.
Why?
541
00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:53,852
-
You drank the blood
542
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,255
'cause the pills
create a deficiency.
543
00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,992
You felt the rage
because you now hate everyone.
544
00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:01,693
- Why?
545
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,530
I told you, I'm a pacifist.
546
00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:06,032
- You hate everyone
because you now know
547
00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:08,034
the truth about yourself.
548
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:09,268
You're not talented.
549
00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:11,203
You don't have what it takes.
550
00:31:16,642 --> 00:31:18,777
- The talented ones
need the blood,
551
00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:20,947
but their rage comes
from their arrogance
552
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:23,049
and certainty that they're
better than everyone.
553
00:31:23,115 --> 00:31:26,785
The rage of the untalented
is much darker, more intense.
554
00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:29,555
You hate the world for giving
you dreams that were too big.
555
00:31:30,789 --> 00:31:32,524
Back up, motherfucker.
556
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:37,829
- Never come back here again.
557
00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:40,232
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll
have plenty of company soon.
558
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:43,502
Soon as word gets out
about what I'm sellin' here,
559
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:44,903
every asshole whose mother
told him he could be
560
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,406
the next Elvis or Tyler Perry
561
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,241
gonna take a chance
on that little black pill.
562
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:52,511
Nine out of ten of 'em
are gonna end up just like you.
563
00:31:52,544 --> 00:31:54,213
Now, get the fuck out my house.
564
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:58,750
*
565
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,391
*
566
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:08,327
-
Ugh.
567
00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,766
Hey, dude.
568
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,502
Never mix tequila and merlot.
569
00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,273
-
570
00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:36,122
*
571
00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:38,457
- You wanna try that on?
572
00:32:38,524 --> 00:32:41,127
- I don't know, perhaps.
573
00:32:41,193 --> 00:32:43,129
I'm looking to create
an entirely new closet,
574
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,297
a whole new look.
575
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:46,465
- New guy in your life?
576
00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,467
- Mm, no,
I like to play the field,
577
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,636
preferably with multiple players.
578
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,140
- I left my husband
a few winters ago.
579
00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,641
Left him in pieces
on the beach.
580
00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:58,310
Just kidding.
581
00:32:58,377 --> 00:33:00,946
- I killed my last boyfriend.
582
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,483
He could bang me pretty good,
but he was boring as fuck.
583
00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:05,651
So I drank him dry
and burned the body.
584
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,820
- How long
you been on the pill?
585
00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:10,656
- Two years.
You?
586
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:11,957
- Couple of months.
587
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,959
What's motivating the new look?
588
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,961
- I always thought
that a woman should pick a look
589
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:18,464
before she turns 40
and stick with it.
590
00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,500
For men, it's 50.
And I did that.
591
00:33:21,567 --> 00:33:22,668
But lately I've been thinking
that that's a rule
592
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:25,137
for people with no second act.
593
00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:26,972
I've published six
"New York Times" best sellers
594
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,674
in the past two years,
595
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:30,276
one that was turned
into a film franchise.
596
00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:33,179
"The Heart
is the Bitterest Root,"
597
00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,114
I love those movies.
598
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:37,283
- What about you, dear?
599
00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:38,450
How does your little black
pill-driven greatness
600
00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:40,352
express itself?
601
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,321
- Tattoos.
602
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,823
And these.
603
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,325
- Oh, my!
How convenient.
604
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,860
I must have a set!
605
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:49,528
- I can arrange that.
606
00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,962
Step into my office.
607
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,366
After, we can give you
a wardrobe makeover.
608
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,502
- Mm, I'm belle of the ball.
609
00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:08,480
*
610
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:16,355
*
611
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,789
- $5 cover.
612
00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:20,025
It's drag night.
We gotta pay the performers.
613
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:24,896
*
614
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:26,165
- Wanna check my ID?
615
00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:29,168
- Nah.
You're good.
616
00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:35,507
- Thank you!
We're gonna take a short break
617
00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:37,676
before our next performer!
618
00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:49,488
*
619
00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:51,323
- Drag is an art form.
620
00:34:51,357 --> 00:34:52,424
I am a professional.
621
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,660
You three...
622
00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:55,761
straight boys in bad wigs.
623
00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:57,596
- Pfft!
624
00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,331
- You know, men have been
performing in women's clothing
625
00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:01,333
since the time of the Greeks.
626
00:35:01,367 --> 00:35:04,270
You all just appropriated it
for gay culture.
627
00:35:04,336 --> 00:35:05,937
- Speak for yourself, dude.
628
00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:09,107
I don't give two shits who's
appropriate or not appropriate.
629
00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:10,609
All I know is, I can make more
doin' this than painting houses
630
00:35:10,676 --> 00:35:12,778
or stealing
from my grandmother.
631
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,780
My problem with you is,
632
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:17,283
you're the ugliest
fuckin' woman I ever seen.
633
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,786
-
And your drag name is awful.
634
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,454
- Patty O'Furniture.
635
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,290
That's an awesome name.
636
00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:25,391
- And why in the hell
do you think people
637
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:26,958
want to be thinkin'
of some suburban deck chair
638
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,627
while you perform for them?
639
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:30,296
Look at me!
640
00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:32,764
I'm Crystal Decanter.
641
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:35,801
I ooze elegance and shine.
642
00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,469
I don't know why y'all
are tryin' to read him
643
00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:38,304
when y'all are just
as bad as he is,
644
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,771
probably worse.
645
00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,275
- Next up, Patty O'Furniture.
646
00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:44,476
- Oh, fuck my life.
647
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:46,812
- Don't even try
to upstage me, asswipe.
648
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:49,481
-
- What a loser.
649
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:52,218
- Boo!
650
00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:54,220
- Break a nail, whore.
- Yeah.
651
00:35:54,253 --> 00:35:55,654
- The only thing
he's gonna break is his heels.
652
00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:57,789
- Loser.
- Ugh.
653
00:35:57,823 --> 00:36:00,792
*
654
00:36:06,965 --> 00:36:10,602
*
655
00:36:10,636 --> 00:36:11,770
- * Cold late night
656
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:13,605
* So long ago
657
00:36:13,639 --> 00:36:16,107
* When I was not so strong,
you know *
658
00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:17,008
* A pretty man came to me
659
00:36:17,075 --> 00:36:19,278
- Boo, boo!
- Awful!
660
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:20,346
- * Never seen eyes so blue
661
00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:22,781
* You know I could not
run away, it seemed *
662
00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:25,116
* We'd seen each other
in a dream *
663
00:36:25,150 --> 00:36:27,686
* Seemed like he knew me
664
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:31,323
* He looked right through me,
yeah *
665
00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:32,791
- Tell 'em, girlfriend!
666
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:40,131
- * "Come on home, girl,"
he said with a smile *
667
00:36:40,165 --> 00:36:41,199
* "You don't have
to love me yet *
668
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,534
* Let's get high awhile"
669
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:43,969
- You suck!
670
00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:46,204
- * But try to understand
671
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:48,807
* Try to understand
672
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:53,312
* Oh, oh-oh
673
00:36:53,345 --> 00:36:55,881
* Try
674
00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:58,216
* Try to understand
675
00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:01,820
* Try, try, try
to understand *
676
00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:04,390
-
- Loser!
677
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,458
- * He's a magic man
678
00:37:06,492 --> 00:37:08,059
* Oh, yeah
679
00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:11,062
* Ooh
680
00:37:11,129 --> 00:37:15,734
* He got the magic hands
681
00:37:15,801 --> 00:37:18,737
* He's a magic man
682
00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:20,171
* Yeah
683
00:37:20,205 --> 00:37:24,175
* Oh, oh
684
00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:43,995
- What is it?
685
00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:45,364
- Does it matter?
686
00:37:45,397 --> 00:37:48,600
Goes down easy
and gets you high.
687
00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:52,938
- Uh-huh.
688
00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:57,943
*
689
00:37:58,009 --> 00:38:00,512
- You don't belong in here...
690
00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:02,448
doing this...
691
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:04,115
dressed like that.
692
00:38:04,182 --> 00:38:07,285
I've got a nose for talent.
693
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,787
Why is a young man
of your gifts
694
00:38:08,787 --> 00:38:10,922
lip-synching in drag
695
00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:13,425
on the cock tip of Cape Cod
in the winter?
696
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:15,293
- I'm a playwright.
697
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:17,629
I sweet-talked the owner
of the playhouse in town
698
00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:19,765
into putting on
one of my plays.
699
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:22,601
I rented a place,
I moved out here,
700
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:26,104
I started casting,
and then the guy just...
701
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,773
disappeared.
702
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:28,073
Not a trace of him.
703
00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:29,775
- Oh.
704
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,042
What'd he look like?
705
00:38:31,076 --> 00:38:34,145
- Like, six feet tall, chubby,
706
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,382
kind of red face all the time.
707
00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:38,650
Why, have you seen him?
708
00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:45,824
*
709
00:38:45,891 --> 00:38:47,493
- No.
710
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:54,666
I'm doin' this drag thing
just to pay for food,
711
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,967
pack of smokes.
712
00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,505
I'm bad at it.
713
00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,507
I know I'm bad at it.
714
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:04,109
I just feel like an engine
that won't turn over.
715
00:39:04,142 --> 00:39:07,779
I just--I turn the key,
and I click, click, click,
716
00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,115
and I can't catch.
717
00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:16,688
*
718
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,189
What's that?
719
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:21,627
- It's your new starter switch.
720
00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:23,862
It's the highway
to your true self.
721
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:27,198
*
722
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,701
- Fuck it.
723
00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:59,397
What did you give me?
724
00:39:59,465 --> 00:40:02,834
- What do you feel?
725
00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:04,402
- Unstoppable.
Unafraid.
726
00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:07,405
Furious.
727
00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:12,243
And starving.
728
00:40:12,310 --> 00:40:14,179
- Let's go get you fed
729
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:17,516
and get a little revenge
at the same time.
730
00:40:17,549 --> 00:40:18,917
*
731
00:40:18,984 --> 00:40:20,752
- Yeah.
732
00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:23,755
*
733
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:25,991
- All of these ladies
have found themselves
734
00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:28,494
in a dead heat for first.
735
00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,095
- I would do so much better
736
00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,763
than all these bitches
on this show.
737
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:33,832
- Can we please
watch something else?
738
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,266
- I told you straight boys,
739
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:38,203
if you want makeup tips
from Ms. Crystal,
740
00:40:38,236 --> 00:40:41,439
you pay for the pizza, and we
watch what I wanna watch.
741
00:40:41,507 --> 00:40:43,274
- I kind of like this show.
742
00:40:43,341 --> 00:40:44,943
High fuckin' drama, you know?
743
00:40:45,010 --> 00:40:46,444
- Please put on a hockey game
before I start singin'
744
00:40:46,512 --> 00:40:48,547
"The Wizard of Oz"
and thinkin' about dick.
745
00:40:52,017 --> 00:40:55,053
- Can we help you?
746
00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:56,354
- If you're gonna make it
in this business,
747
00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:58,356
you might want to camp it up
a little bit more, sweetheart.
748
00:40:58,389 --> 00:41:01,126
Though I do like her wig.
749
00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:03,428
- Oh, I'm not one of you.
750
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,263
-
- Ugh.
751
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:08,099
- Ugh, well, no wonder
you have no sparkle.
752
00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:10,301
Gettin' advice
from that sultan of snore.
753
00:41:10,368 --> 00:41:11,970
- Lock the door.
754
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,640
- Ah!
755
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,320
Retreat!
756
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:34,092
*
757
00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,126
- Hiyah!
758
00:41:36,662 --> 00:41:38,597
Ugh.
759
00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:43,602
- You can't win 'em all.
760
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,437
I'm full anyway.
761
00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:47,839
- What do we do now?
762
00:41:47,906 --> 00:41:49,675
- Now...
763
00:41:49,741 --> 00:41:50,976
we go write.
764
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:55,814
*
765
00:41:58,584 --> 00:42:04,255
*
766
00:42:12,163 --> 00:42:15,033
Okay, it's okay.
767
00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:19,705
Okay.