1 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,843 - sync and correction by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,447 Some girls know all the lyrics to each other's songs. 3 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,538 They find harmonies in their laughter. 4 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,420 Their linked elbows echo in tune. 5 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,467 What if I can't hum on key? 6 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,429 What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears? 7 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:00,686 Whoo! 8 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,230 - We're really freakin' high! - Don't think about it. 9 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,358 Just remember, you gotta go slow if you want to climb fast. 10 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,278 All right. 11 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,163 So, what happened out there in the hallway? 12 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,458 I don't know. Tired, I guess. 13 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:24,876 Tired? 14 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,254 Tired of what? 15 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,214 Just tired. 16 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,425 Seems like you were angry. 17 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,344 At this school. About Hannah. 18 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,347 Aren't you? 19 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,682 Sure. 20 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,435 Angry about another needless death. 21 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,271 I'm sad for Hannah... 22 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,857 and for all of us who... 23 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,942 who cared about her. 24 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,739 So, are you gonna punish me or what? 25 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,657 Is that what you want me to do? 26 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,202 Do you get a lot of kids coming in here asking for punishment? 27 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,874 What do you think your punishment should be? 28 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,751 Isn't that your job? 29 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,504 I mean, it's not like you're trained to be a shrink or anything, right? 30 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,714 No. 31 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,383 But I like to think I can be helpful... 32 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,469 to kids who are hurting, 33 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,472 not in touch with what they're feeling, lonely... 34 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,474 - I'm not lonely. - Who may hurt themselves. 35 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:21,558 Not gonna hurt myself. 36 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,769 - Find their way out... - You don't know what you're talking about. 37 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,062 Hey, screw you! 38 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:28,982 Okay. 39 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,652 - I'm sorry. - No, that's okay. 40 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,654 You're hurting. 41 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,614 And I want to help. 42 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,950 I want to be there for you, Clay. 43 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,828 I'm not going to say I understand just what you're going through, 44 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,580 but if you talk to me... 45 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,832 I'll try. 46 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,504 Everybody wants to talk. 47 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,591 No one wants to do anything. 48 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,095 What is it that you want to do? 49 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,520 I should get to class. 50 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:13,443 It all started because I was feeling lost. 51 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,405 I needed direction. 52 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,241 Any direction. 53 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,211 You have to be kidding me. 54 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,587 Get in the car. 55 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,423 I have something I have to show you. 56 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,217 Tell me how you know what you know. 57 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,885 Tell me what I did to Hannah. 58 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,724 See you, Tony. 59 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,519 Actually, I hope I don't. 60 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,603 Ever. 61 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:54,943 Clay, get in the car. 62 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,528 No. 63 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,864 What are you gonna do? You have no bike, buddy. 64 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,283 Why can't you leave me alone? 65 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,870 Release the tapes. Do whatever you have to do. 66 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,288 Just let me be. 67 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,332 I won't release them, if... 68 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,668 if you get in the car and come with me. 69 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,426 - Hi, I'm Kevin Porter. - Hi. 70 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,305 And sometimes you take whatever way out you can find. 71 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,515 All right, just drive. 72 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,852 - Where are we going? - You'll see when we get there. 73 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,229 He's out of his fucking mind. 74 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,732 We played by Hannah's rules. 75 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,985 It's not fair if the tapes get out there because Clay went postal. 76 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,696 - He's not gonna go public. - It feels like he might. 77 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,073 He's just sad, okay? Let him be... 78 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,534 Are you getting your stomach things again, Alex? 79 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,078 - Come sit down a minute. - What stomach things? 80 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,164 He loved her, and she died. 81 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,457 Okay? He's going crazy. 82 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:51,958 Just give him a second. 83 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,170 He's not sad, okay? He's getting revenge. 84 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,963 It's not like we don't deserve it. 85 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,174 Alex, come sit down. 86 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,010 Dude, you're late. 87 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,805 I talked to Tony. He says he'll take care of it. 88 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,890 What does that even mean exactly? 89 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,184 - Tony's a dick. - He's not a dick. 90 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,354 He's a dick, he's a prick, and he's a cock. 91 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,855 Okay, those are the same things. 92 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,149 No, they're nuances of meaning. 93 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,068 Right. Yeah. 94 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,153 Look, Tony's not gonna do shit. 95 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,239 We have to take care of this. 96 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,991 End that little bastard once and for all. 97 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,701 That's insane. 98 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,246 I don't know. 99 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,668 What if we make it look like a suicide. 100 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,586 How tragic is that? 101 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,089 I mean, two star-crossed lovers or some shit like that. 102 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,507 Grow up, Justin. 103 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:45,011 Are you really telling me to grow up, Little Mama's Boy? 104 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,265 Yeah, I am. 105 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,227 Dude, go see a fuckin' doctor. 106 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,604 I've seen a dozen doctors, dude. 107 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,817 One thing. 108 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,404 If one thing had gone differently somewhere along the line... 109 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,490 maybe none of this would have happened. 110 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,746 It's right over there. 111 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,754 Dream big, they say. 112 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,923 Shoot for the stars. 113 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,010 Then they lock us away for 12 years and tell us where to sit, 114 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,720 when to pee, and what to think. 115 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:31,182 Is it enough to get refs from the principal and vice-principal? 116 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,934 Should I go to the superintendent? 117 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,937 Our school doesn't weigh our GPA, so I only have a 4.0. 118 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,772 Will this be a disadvantage? 119 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:41,276 Yo! You only have to maintain a C-minus average to play. 120 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,487 Look at the tits on this cheerleader! 121 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,198 Damn, didn't see that. 122 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:50,910 Then we turn 18, and even though we've never had an original thought, 123 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,622 we have to make the most important decision of our lives. 124 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,917 Ready to begin your future? 125 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,754 Don't think I have much of a choice in that one, really. 126 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,631 How's your financial aid? 127 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,840 How's your GPA? 128 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,800 Could be better. 129 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,429 I haven't... 130 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,182 You haven't taken your PSAT yet? 131 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,266 No. 132 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,684 Interesting. 133 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,187 Well, I can tell you that our financial aid 134 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,314 tends to go to students at the top of their class, 135 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,066 with SATs above the 90th percentile. 136 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,276 Great. Thanks. 137 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,611 Of course. 138 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,406 And if you don't have the money and don't really have the grades, 139 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,575 a lot of the decision gets made for you. 140 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,214 What future are you peddling? 141 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,342 I'll let you take the first guess. 142 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,969 Hoarder? 143 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,804 Close. 144 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,013 Librarian. 145 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,849 No way you're a librarian. 146 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:55,934 I know. 147 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,228 When people hear the term "librarian," 148 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,398 they think 60-year-old white-haired woman with cankles. 149 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,316 We are... 150 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,651 rebranding. 151 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,654 No offense, but isn't it like a dying industry? 152 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:11,533 You know, like travel agencies and cupcake stores? 153 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,202 Let me guess, you own a Kindle. 154 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,413 Not in a million years. 155 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,664 No, I'm a... 156 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,334 paperback, write-in-the-margins kind of girl. 157 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,086 A kindred spirit. 158 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:29,050 So, uh, other than the Dewey Decimal System, 159 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,136 what else has the library got going on? 160 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:35,598 Well, I like to think we are a place where people can come together, 161 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,100 find their tribe. 162 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,935 Do you write? 163 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,729 You look like you write. 164 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:41,938 I don't. 165 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,818 I do, but... I don't show anybody. Ever. 166 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,613 We've got a safe space. 167 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,700 We keep secrets, 168 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,869 and we have an all-you-can-eat cookie platter. 169 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,665 Well, thanks. 170 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,002 I probably won't see you there, but thanks. 171 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,420 Sure thing. 172 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,590 Just take a brochure. They have scholarships. 173 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,051 I don't need a brochure, don't need your scholarship, 174 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,261 and I don't need four years of wasted time. 175 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,763 I have skills. 176 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:15,930 And a sweet Mustang. 177 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,015 Thank you. 178 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,727 So, are you kidnapping me? 179 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,354 Did you kidnap Courtney? 180 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,316 I had a purpose. 181 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,568 So do I. 182 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,450 Alex. 183 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,077 Are you okay? 184 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,453 Yeah, yeah. 185 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,621 Don't worry about it. 186 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,166 It's all this shit with the tapes, isn't it? 187 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,127 If all that just went away, you'd be fine. 188 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,338 Yeah, but how does all that just go away? 189 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,632 What the hell, Jess? You coming or not? 190 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,967 In a minute. I'm talking to Alex. 191 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,385 Oh, about what? 192 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,887 About how much she misses me. 193 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,348 About how much better of a boyfriend I am than you. 194 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,433 How she wishes she never broke up with me. 195 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,227 - How you smell bad. - Alex, come on! 196 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,062 - Fuck you, Alex. - What? It's totally true. 197 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,147 She was like, "Justin smells bad." I was like, "I know." 198 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,315 I did not say that. 199 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,026 - You're a funny guy, Standall. - No, you're funny, Justin. 200 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,821 With the "Let's end the little bastard"? What is that about? 201 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,322 It's about protecting ourselves. 202 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,282 - From what? - From Hannah's lies. 203 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,536 But did she lie? 'Cause I'm really not sure. 204 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,247 'Cause she told the truth about me. 205 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,087 You know he's full of shit, right? 206 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,714 - He's a fucking liar. - He's not a liar. 207 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,592 He can be a pain in the ass, but he's a good person. 208 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,512 He's never lied to me. 209 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,931 Well, good for him. 210 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,310 I wanted a purpose... 211 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,272 a reason for being on this planet. 212 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,192 But that poetry group looked like an AA meeting. 213 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,611 Or a support group. 214 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,906 I saw no one within decades of my age. 215 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,787 Until I saw you. 216 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,498 You were the only other high school kid in the room. 217 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,417 Ryan Shaver, 218 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,669 Liberty High's resident intellectual, 219 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,838 editor of Lost and Found, 220 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381 general selfish snob. 221 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,804 Welcome back, everybody. 222 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,181 Good to see our group growing a bit. 223 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,227 As usual, we begin by reminding everyone 224 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:29,105 poetry is about honest expression. 225 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:33,026 And we all need to feel safe to share our deepest truths. 226 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,111 Nice to see a friendly face. 227 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:36,946 Friendly? 228 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,239 Familiar? 229 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,366 The sign-up sheet is making its way around. 230 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,827 Well, don't get used to it. 231 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,831 I think it's gonna be my first and last time if you're going to be here. 232 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:47,916 What? Why? 233 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,294 Please only sign up for slots you'll actually use. 234 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,379 You put me in your little zine? 235 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,298 Remember? 236 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,549 "Best ass." 237 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,676 That list was already going around. 238 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,470 Everyone was talking about it. 239 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,096 It was news. 240 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,598 It was wrong. 241 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,852 Now then, before we begin, Hannah, would you like to introduce yourself? 242 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,649 Hi, I'm Hannah. 243 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,275 Hi, Hannah. 244 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,778 I don't know a lot about poetry, 245 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,988 but I'm very happy to be here. 246 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,366 We're very happy to have you here. 247 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,660 Let's begin. 248 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,246 I believe Linda is first on the sign-up list. 249 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,508 O! 250 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,635 A woman scorned 251 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,803 Mother Earth 252 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,888 O! 253 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,891 All may feel your wrath 254 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,978 Majesty of Mother Earth... 255 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,190 Is this like your idea of some twisted version of wilderness therapy? 256 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,027 Not a nature lover? 257 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,822 I love nature, especially in pictures in books. 258 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,533 What's with the rope? 259 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,119 No, seriously, this is getting messed up. 260 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,041 So what, are you gonna tie me up to a tree 261 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,377 and force me to listen to the rest of the tapes? 262 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,629 No, we're just going for a little walk. 263 00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,674 How little is little? 264 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,220 Just up that hill. 265 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,727 No freaking way. 266 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,396 What the hell does this have to do with Hannah? 267 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,274 Don't you want to find out? 268 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,406 "O, tall mountains 269 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,325 and Mother Earth" and all this other hooey. 270 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,369 I don't think I'm going back. 271 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,706 Well, I think it's fine if you don't want to, 272 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,417 but maybe you should give it a chance. 273 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,628 You said you thought about a career as a writer. 274 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,881 Yeah, but no one has a career as a poet. 275 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:03,509 Damn it! If you could remind me to tell your father to call the alarm company. 276 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,344 I think this thing's broken. 277 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,763 Let me try. 278 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,723 You finish the deposit. 279 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,099 Well, how about uh... 280 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,268 what about a poetry teacher? 281 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,979 Who would want to be a teacher? Kids are assholes. 282 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,481 Not all of them. 283 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,150 Okay, what about a journalist then? 284 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,777 Do those still exist? 285 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,278 Tell Dad this is broken. 286 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,781 You're a parent. 287 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,866 You're supposed to say things like, 288 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,786 "Be practical, be a pharmacist." 289 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,955 I will never say that to you. 290 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,794 You know, before we opened this store, your father, 291 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,796 he used to travel all the time 292 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,424 for these snooze-fest pharmaceutical conventions. 293 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:47,095 So, I would write him love stories. 294 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,557 Mm-hmm. They were very, very dramatic... 295 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,477 and sexy. 296 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,354 Fifty shades of my mother? 297 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,816 I thought they were pretty good, you know. 298 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,403 I don't know, I might have some of them. 299 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,321 - I could find them. - Oh, God, Mom, please no. 300 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,031 Okay, listen to me. 301 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,408 I'm just saying... 302 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,952 allow yourself... 303 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,870 to dream a little. 304 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,915 I mean, hell, dream big. 305 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,459 About all the things that... 306 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,503 you could be. 307 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,881 Don't settle. 308 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,384 Mmm? 309 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,306 - We're closed. Go away. - Hannah! 310 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,517 Mom, he's not a customer. 311 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,020 Oh. Oh, I see. 312 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,649 I'm gonna go get my coat. 313 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,733 Um... 314 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,445 It's in the back, so... 315 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,658 What do you want, Ryan? We're legitimately closed. 316 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,035 I have something for you. 317 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,329 A peace offering. 318 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,919 Take it. 319 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,630 Your thoughts deserve a decent place to live. 320 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,426 Come on, I know you're a journal girl. 321 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:13,890 Wow. 322 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:18,978 You do a really convincing imitation of a thinking, feeling human. 323 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,483 Hannah... 324 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,818 I'm sorry. 325 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,822 I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed or humiliated. 326 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:31,782 I know what that's like. 327 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,451 You do? 328 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:38,414 I'm a skinny faggot who writes poems. I mean, please. 329 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,542 I don't think you're supposed to use that word. 330 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,794 Mmm. You're not. I'm allowed. 331 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,466 Just come back to the library, Hannah. 332 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,760 Come back to the poetry. 333 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:53,930 Maybe. 334 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,224 I'll take maybe. 335 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,854 Thanks... for the journal. 336 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,162 Honey? 337 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,164 Honey? 338 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,459 You okay? 339 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,967 I was just thinking it's a bad sign that we're... 340 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,053 running out of "Buy One, Get One Free" stickers. 341 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:39,141 We can look at it as a bad sign or we can consider it the world telling us 342 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,852 we can never discount our way to Walplex prices. 343 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,152 I've got more stickers back here somewhere. 344 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,122 Oh, Olivia. 345 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,499 Olivia. 346 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,503 I'm so sorry I didn't come in sooner. 347 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,381 How are you holding up? 348 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,009 Um... 349 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,302 We're managing. 350 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,597 You look great. 351 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,227 Oh, Olivia, Hannah was such a special girl. 352 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,231 Zach said so many nice things about her. 353 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,318 How is Zach? 354 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,112 Well, he's just great. 355 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,325 Every college is looking at him for basketball, but... 356 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,244 he wants to be a marine biologist. 357 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,623 Can you believe it? A marine biologist. 358 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,835 A marine biologist. 359 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,756 I wonder if you've been thinking about your future. 360 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,093 You know, your grades have been slipping a bit. 361 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,264 You started out the school year really strong... 362 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,601 but your grades have steadily dropped. 363 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,562 I would really focus on ending the school year strong... 364 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,358 if you have your eyes on a good four-year college. 365 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,110 I've been thinking about NYU or Columbia. 366 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:16,030 Wow, those are some highly competitive schools. 367 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,700 So, either you're going to have to make some changes next year, or... 368 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,369 maybe think smaller. 369 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,371 Maybe like a state school. 370 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,377 You never met with Hannah? 371 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:36,133 Once, in the spring of her sophomore year last year. 372 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,804 We start the sophomores thinking of college. 373 00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:44,183 And do you recall what she was thinking of college? 374 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,020 I think if memory serves, she had some unrealistic goals. 375 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,400 And I tried to help her find some options. 376 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:56,821 Did you have a sense of how she felt about your interaction? 377 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,573 She didn't say. 378 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,534 But did you have a sense? 379 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,035 Mrs. Jensen. 380 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,120 - Lainie. - Lainie. 381 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,287 Please. 382 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,251 I know this is not the subject of our meeting, 383 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,837 but do you know where your son is right now? 384 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,215 I assume he's in class. 385 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,425 He isn't. 386 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,219 He walked out of school this morning and hasn't come back. 387 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,265 I may be crazy, but I am not that crazy. 388 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,058 People free solo it all the time. 389 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,144 People who climb things, 390 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,395 people who climb rocks... 391 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,273 which is a ridiculous thing to do if you aren't being chased by something. 392 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,816 It's for beginners. 393 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,152 I used to climb it with my brothers when we were kids. 394 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,070 Here. 395 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,447 Take this, clip it on. 396 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,157 It's chalk. 397 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,117 Put it on your hands, like this. 398 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:45,703 Or you'll slip. 399 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,372 What? 400 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,291 Come on, are you a man or not? 401 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,250 Not! 402 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,129 Most definitely not. I grant you that, no question. 403 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:57,882 I, uh... 404 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,468 I don't like heights. 405 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,471 It's an easy climb. 406 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,307 All the answers you seek are at the top of the cliff. 407 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,025 The drag of your hand across my chest 408 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,319 Sparks a blaze my lips cannot extinguish 409 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,156 You, stubborn inferno 410 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:26,535 You drive fast, and damn the red lights for slowing you down 411 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,623 You see my veins shake at your first touch 412 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,835 The power to move my blood on your own accord 413 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,004 The definition of heart 414 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,673 And after the stick shift jerk 415 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,509 I beg my skin to do tricks 416 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:44,136 Like forget how good it feels to lose control 417 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,430 Between the burning house 418 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,807 Of your hands 419 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:57,817 Whoo! 420 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:05,616 Hey. 421 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:07,743 That was... 422 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,829 intense. 423 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:12,540 Um... Thank you? 424 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,041 Yes, thank you. 425 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:15,960 I want to write like you. 426 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,921 Seriously, can you teach me? 427 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,172 Really? 428 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,133 You make people feel the things you're feeling. 429 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:24,927 I want to be able to do that. 430 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,305 A couple of hours a couple of nights a week. 431 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:29,932 Chips and salsa on me. 432 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,978 "Stephie Moore is mean. 433 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,312 She..." 434 00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:36,397 Sic. 435 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,691 "She so stupid." 436 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:40,150 Third grade! 437 00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:42,111 I was in third grade! 438 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,906 Don't get what my grade school diaries have to do with anything. 439 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,074 Well... 440 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,786 First, there's a bunch of gifted child drama I won't get into. 441 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,290 The main thing is, you have to tell the truth in poetry. 442 00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:55,583 Your truth. 443 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,459 - But... - No buts. 444 00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,753 Ex nihilo nihil fit. 445 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:02,423 "Out of nothing comes nothing." 446 00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:08,095 I just don't like it when people read my... things. 447 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:11,599 Every poem you write should be like someone reading your things. 448 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:14,852 It should be terrifying and incredibly embarrassing. 449 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,608 "How does Amber Holloway have boobs already?" 450 00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:22,484 You're an asshole! 451 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,902 Yes! Yes! 452 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:25,112 Be terrified. 453 00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,159 Good. 454 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,161 Now try and slow your breath down. 455 00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:34,330 How do I do that? 456 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,081 By breathing slower. 457 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:39,668 What do I do about my heart, which is about to explode out of my chest? 458 00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:43,380 Shit. 459 00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:45,007 You brought your phone on a climb? 460 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,801 No, I brought my phone on a walk. 461 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,511 That's my mom's ring. 462 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:54,350 Be a good son or plunge to the rocks below. 463 00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:56,602 Yeah. Thanks for the perspective. 464 00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,022 It must be possible to swim in the ocean 465 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,774 of the one you love without drowning. 466 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,778 It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself. 467 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,657 I keep finding stones tied to my feet. 468 00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:11,950 Sorry, I just... 469 00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:13,535 Just keep going, keep going. 470 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,041 - Jess, I... - What? 471 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,584 - What? - I... 472 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,877 I-I can't right now. 473 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,170 No, no, it's okay. 474 00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:25,047 Maybe if I helped a little? 475 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,216 Oh, Jess, come on, look. I just... 476 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:31,428 Maybe later. I just don't want to right now. 477 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,228 I don't do it for you anymore. 478 00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,647 - That's not it. - It has to be. 479 00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,276 You don't think I'm pretty anymore. 480 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:47,528 Jess. 481 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,655 God, no, Jess. 482 00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,199 You're so beautiful. 483 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,703 What's happening to us? 484 00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:59,415 It'll all be fine, okay? 485 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,335 Once these stupid fucking tapes are done. 486 00:25:06,547 --> 00:25:07,923 Can we at least get high? 487 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:13,470 - You don't even smoke. - Yeah, I do. 488 00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,142 Okay. 489 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,727 We are really freaking high. 490 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:21,311 Don't think about it. 491 00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:23,188 Chalk your hands if they're sweaty. 492 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:25,941 I can't really feel my arms. 493 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:28,026 You gotta shake 'em out, one at a time. 494 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:29,820 Get the blood moving, all right? 495 00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,864 Whoo! 496 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:33,490 Good. Good. 497 00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:35,075 We're getting closer. 498 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,995 Remember, you gotta go slow if you want to climb fast. 499 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:40,956 All right. 500 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,254 - Oh, shit! - Ow! Gah! 501 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,338 Shit! 502 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,590 Oh, shit! 503 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,133 What? What? I can't see! 504 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:52,301 I lost a handhold. 505 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,762 Give me a sec, I've got to figure this out. 506 00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,558 Clay! Clay, are you here? 507 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:00,726 Lainie? 508 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,854 He's not here. He isn't here. 509 00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:06,273 Okay. Okay, calm down. What's going on? 510 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:08,233 I left you a detailed message. 511 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:09,568 The department secretary is 90. 512 00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,945 He walked out of school and disappeared. 513 00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:13,614 I'm sure he didn't disappear. 514 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,699 He is not answering his cell, Matt. 515 00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,786 So he skipped school to play basketball or go for a ride. 516 00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:19,912 He's missing, Matt! 517 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,122 He's playing hooky. He's not missing. 518 00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:24,166 If you minimize this, I will lose it. 519 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,375 Okay, okay. 520 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:26,794 We'll find him. 521 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:28,921 He can't have gone far. 522 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,846 All right, I'm gonna throw this. Grab it, pull yourself up. 523 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,850 - Tony, I can't. - Of course you can. 524 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,477 One foot at a time. 525 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:44,770 Come on. 526 00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:46,355 Oh... 527 00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,860 - Whoa! Ah! Okay. - All right, you got it. 528 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,489 There you go. 529 00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,366 There you go! 530 00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:01,203 There you go! 531 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:02,746 Oh, shit! 532 00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:04,289 Oh, man! 533 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,085 Whoa! That was freaking amazing. 534 00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:10,337 Was it? Or was it fucking amazing? 535 00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:14,341 That was fucking amazing. 536 00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:16,635 Like... I thought I was gonna die! 537 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:18,387 But you didn't, did you? 538 00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:20,806 Fuck! 539 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,935 Fuck! 540 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,730 Fuck! 541 00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:30,399 Yeah. 542 00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,943 I saw this YouTube video once 543 00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,153 where this guy in Spain was walking on this crane. 544 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,989 He had to be at least 15 stories. 545 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,991 He's walking, walking, walking. 546 00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:42,494 And then he slips. He lets out this loud scream. 547 00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:43,787 Seconds later, wham! 548 00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,205 Wham what? 549 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,459 The camera went black, but I'm pretty sure he died. 550 00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:50,794 Shit, Clay. 551 00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:53,255 Fuck. 552 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:59,720 I never totally realized, that's a really great word. 553 00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:01,346 It is, huh? 554 00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:02,848 Uh... 555 00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:04,266 You're bleeding. 556 00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:09,313 Fuck. 557 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:10,981 Wow, this is scary. 558 00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,780 Today I am wearing lacy black underwear 559 00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,409 For the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them 560 00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:25,996 And underneath that 561 00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:30,167 I am absolutely naked 562 00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:33,795 And I've got skin 563 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,549 Miles and miles of skin 564 00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:42,179 I've got skin to cover all my thoughts like Saran Wrap 565 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:43,680 That you can see through 566 00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:46,141 to what leftovers are inside from the night before 567 00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,686 And despite what you might think 568 00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:51,688 My skin is soft 569 00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:53,398 And smooth 570 00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:55,984 And easily scarred 571 00:28:58,946 --> 00:29:00,781 But that doesn't matter, right? 572 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:03,784 You don't care about how soft my skin is 573 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:07,704 You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark 574 00:29:09,873 --> 00:29:12,292 But what if all they do is crack open windows 575 00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:14,628 So I can see lightning through the clouds? 576 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,132 What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb 577 00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:21,426 For a taste of fresher air? 578 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:24,930 You promised me 579 00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:26,974 the secrets are at the top of this rock. 580 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:29,476 - I risked my life to get here. - You wouldn't have died. 581 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:31,979 You'd break a bunch of shit. 582 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,198 I never thought about it. 583 00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:45,993 Dying. 584 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:48,578 Until this year. 585 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:56,586 Have you ever seen a dead body? 586 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,301 I've been to a few funerals. 587 00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:06,388 Have you ever seen a crime scene? 588 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:09,558 Well, like... 589 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:12,769 CSI and Law & Order, all that. 590 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:14,438 No, no. Like a... 591 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:16,773 a real one. 592 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:20,777 Have you? 593 00:30:21,862 --> 00:30:22,821 Yeah. 594 00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:24,031 Once. 595 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,036 What was that like? 596 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,122 Quiet. 597 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,960 Not silent or anything, just... 598 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:38,879 no excitement. 599 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,049 No big noise. 600 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:45,135 Just cops walking around doing their jobs. 601 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:47,804 Like it was nothin'. 602 00:30:50,724 --> 00:30:51,808 How old were you? 603 00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:53,560 Seventeen. 604 00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:58,648 What was the crime? 605 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:04,029 Suicide. 606 00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,663 You were there. 607 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,293 You saw her. 608 00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:24,049 You should publish this. 609 00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:27,260 Oh, no. No way. This does not leave the safe space. 610 00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,763 People need to see this. It will change them. 611 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:31,348 No, they don't. 612 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:37,521 The whole point of creative expression is to hold up a mirror to the world 613 00:31:37,604 --> 00:31:41,274 so hopefully these god-awful people can start to see themselves 614 00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:45,028 and make connections to help them get through their dreary-ass lives. 615 00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:47,447 Your pain... 616 00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:51,076 your pain is important to other people. 617 00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:58,291 But is that why you really did it? 618 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:04,840 So you could help me touch just one person? 619 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:06,925 What? 620 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,093 I doubt it. 621 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:11,304 People like you don't make selfless moves. 622 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:14,558 Oh, my God, dude, this shit is crazy! 623 00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:19,438 "Today I am wearing lacy black underwear 624 00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:22,357 with the sole purpose of knowing that I am wearing it." 625 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:26,611 - I wonder who's the skank who wrote this! - I don't even know what this means. 626 00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:28,655 It's a bitch who's been burned, I know that. 627 00:32:29,239 --> 00:32:31,825 You knew the shit I shared was personal. 628 00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:35,245 You knew where it came from, and that it would get people talking. 629 00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:39,499 I realize now I was desperate for someone to listen... 630 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:42,127 and you listened. 631 00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:47,215 And then you made my most private thoughts a public spectacle. 632 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:55,515 It's her writing. 633 00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:57,225 I can totally recognize it. 634 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,187 Why would she write something like this? 635 00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:01,521 So humiliating. 636 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,608 It has been brought to my attention 637 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:07,736 that Ryan's publication now includes poetry. 638 00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:10,030 And since we're doing sonnets this semester, 639 00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:13,533 and since you're all going to be distracted by it anyway, 640 00:33:13,617 --> 00:33:17,579 I thought we would take a minute to parse the work of this poet. 641 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:19,706 Hannah. 642 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,792 There's a sort of naked vulnerability to it that I like. 643 00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:24,002 It's quite intimate. 644 00:33:25,879 --> 00:33:27,631 "Intimate" is not a dirty word. 645 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:33,011 "Today I am wearing lacy black underwear 646 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:34,971 for the sole purpose of knowing..." 647 00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:39,351 So you bear your heart to one person and everybody ends up laughing. 648 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:44,814 "I've got skin, miles and miles of skin. 649 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,194 I've got skin to cover all my thoughts like Saran Wrap." 650 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,655 I can see her through the window. 651 00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:56,034 She walks up to the door, she leaves this box. 652 00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:57,994 And goes. 653 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,081 I didn't get up. 654 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,335 I figured if it was important, she would have knocked. 655 00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,338 Rang the doorbell or something, right? 656 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:11,716 And I... 657 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:16,054 I should have gone out there. 658 00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:19,224 I should have talked to her. 659 00:34:20,225 --> 00:34:21,268 But... 660 00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:25,063 Look, I liked Hannah. 661 00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:27,566 She was a friend. 662 00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,693 But the girl was a lot. She was drama. 663 00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:34,447 And I was apparently the only guy at Liberty 664 00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:37,534 who didn't grab her ass or stare at her tits. 665 00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:40,245 And so I always got to hear about it... 666 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,831 and on that particular day, I didn't want to deal, 667 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,374 so I let her walk away. 668 00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:49,296 Jesus, Tony. 669 00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:53,174 Half hour... 670 00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:55,385 forty-five minutes later, 671 00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:58,388 I get the box, open 'em, and there's these tapes, 672 00:34:58,471 --> 00:34:59,681 and a letter. 673 00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:05,937 "Please take care of these. Listen, and you'll know how." 674 00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:10,275 I started listening to the first tape. 675 00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:11,943 And then... 676 00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:18,241 I try calling the Bakers. They don't answer. I speed to her house. 677 00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:22,579 The ambulance is already there. 678 00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:25,165 And the cops. 679 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:28,460 And the front door's open. I run inside. 680 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:31,963 Her parents are there. 681 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:34,007 And she's... 682 00:35:36,718 --> 00:35:38,219 They've got her in a body bag. 683 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:43,350 I remember thinking, "There's no handles on that bag. 684 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,645 How are they gonna pick her up? How are they gonna carry her?" 685 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:50,398 And they just grabbed the bag... 686 00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,318 and threw her in the ambulance. 687 00:35:55,737 --> 00:35:56,738 Just like that. 688 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,389 Do the other kids know? 689 00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:29,145 Why you're taking care of Hannah like you are? 690 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,273 Of course not. 691 00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:35,193 You needed to know. 692 00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:39,989 You're my friend. 693 00:36:47,497 --> 00:36:48,581 What the hell, Ryan? 694 00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:52,127 Hannah. What's so secret you couldn't speak to me at school? 695 00:36:52,252 --> 00:36:54,462 You know damn well. How could you do that to me? 696 00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:56,297 The poem? 697 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:59,467 I did you a favor, Hannah. You're a beautiful poet. 698 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,177 Your work deserved to be heard. 699 00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:04,264 You're a self-serving, egotistical fuckwad. 700 00:37:05,682 --> 00:37:06,808 One day... 701 00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:10,019 you will look back on this and know that I was right. 702 00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:14,232 What you wrote, you can't teach that. You have to live it. 703 00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:16,735 Well, it's my life, Ryan, it's not yours. 704 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,403 Get your own. 705 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:24,033 There was a path the whole time? 706 00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:26,745 We could have just walked up there? 707 00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:29,164 Yes. But what's the fun in that? 708 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,500 Everything you told me, you could have told me anywhere. 709 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,252 In Monet's the other night. 710 00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:36,296 Would you have been ready to hear it? 711 00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:38,298 Yeah. 712 00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:42,469 No. I don't know. 713 00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,266 I wish I had known, though. 714 00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,978 Why you cared so much about Hannah. 715 00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:55,064 I kept trying to figure it out. 716 00:37:58,651 --> 00:37:59,652 I thought maybe... 717 00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:03,948 I thought maybe you were in love with her. 718 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:07,577 Clay... 719 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,078 you know I'm gay, right? 720 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:14,667 What? 721 00:38:17,670 --> 00:38:20,507 No, I didn't know that. How was I supposed to know that? 722 00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:23,092 I thought everyone knew it. 723 00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:26,846 I don't think everyone knows. 724 00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:28,139 A lot of people know it. 725 00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:31,851 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 726 00:38:31,935 --> 00:38:33,895 Did you think that I was, like... 727 00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:36,189 just friends with Ryan? 728 00:38:37,941 --> 00:38:39,609 Well, yeah, I guess so. 729 00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:46,407 You think I would be friends with a guy like Ryan. 730 00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:50,703 Yeah, would think you would be 'cause apparently you went out. 731 00:38:50,787 --> 00:38:53,373 They're different things. Trust me. 732 00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,462 So that guy Brad... 733 00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:01,631 is he your boyfriend now? 734 00:39:01,714 --> 00:39:03,633 I hope he's still my boyfriend. 735 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:06,344 He's been pretty annoyed lately because... 736 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:10,098 I've been spending all my time with another guy. 737 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,102 You. 738 00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:16,479 Oh. 739 00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:17,438 Right. 740 00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:22,402 You mean with the tapes and all, not in a romantic way. 741 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,321 Sure. 742 00:39:30,159 --> 00:39:31,369 Alex Standall. 743 00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:34,080 S-T-A-N-D-A-L-L. 744 00:39:35,748 --> 00:39:38,334 Yes. It's filled. Ready to go. 745 00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:42,171 Okay, with this, you want to take one every night before bed, 746 00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:44,090 with water, with or without food. 747 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:45,550 This one can make you dizzy... 748 00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:47,844 I know. I've been taking it for a while now. 749 00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:49,470 Oh. 750 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:50,847 We have this as new. 751 00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,515 I used to go to Walplex. 752 00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:57,270 I could have them send your history over, if you like. 753 00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:59,147 Yeah, that'd be great, thank you. 754 00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,283 - There you go. - Thanks. 755 00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:16,247 I, uh... 756 00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:18,791 I was friends with Hannah. 757 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,129 You were? 758 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:25,089 Yeah. Um... 759 00:40:25,173 --> 00:40:27,133 I'm really sorry about what happened. 760 00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,638 Thank you, Alex. 761 00:40:32,597 --> 00:40:33,598 Yeah. 762 00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:44,734 Thank you. 763 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:09,968 Apparently your mom called my dad. 764 00:41:10,927 --> 00:41:12,095 Oh, Jesus. 765 00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:13,972 My mom. I'll text her. 766 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:17,892 We do not need that particular hysterical phone call at this moment. 767 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:20,561 Maybe if you didn't keep all those secrets from her... 768 00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:22,689 Oh, fuck you, with your secrets. 769 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:27,110 Could I, uh... 770 00:41:29,404 --> 00:41:31,155 Could I get those tapes back sometime? 771 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,248 Sure thing. 772 00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:50,758 So, what, was this your plan the whole time? 773 00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,885 Maybe I helped it along, but... 774 00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:55,513 I knew sooner or later you'd want the tapes back. 775 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:58,099 - You knew? - Yeah. 776 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:01,310 You haven't heard yours yet. 777 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:14,699 It's delicious, but... 778 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,617 not another bite. 779 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:21,372 Thank you. 780 00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:24,917 This was a good idea. 781 00:42:32,425 --> 00:42:33,926 Oh. 782 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,345 Honey, you can't do that. 783 00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:38,097 I'm so sorry. 784 00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,599 - Oh, no. - She's totally fine. 785 00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,934 He was due for a new hairstyle anyway. 786 00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:44,604 What's your name? 787 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:47,940 It's okay, sweetie. You can tell her. 788 00:42:48,024 --> 00:42:49,025 Sarah. 789 00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:50,109 Sarah. 790 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,028 You're very cute, Sarah. 791 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:53,988 Say thank you, Sarah. 792 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,114 No. 793 00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:58,242 Sarah. That's not nice. 794 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:01,412 Oh, please, don't worry about it. I have a daughter too. 795 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,457 No wonder you're such a pro. How old is she? 796 00:43:05,041 --> 00:43:07,210 - Seventeen. - Seventeen. 797 00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:08,920 Yeah, it flies by. 798 00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:12,840 Before you know it, she'll be applying for colleges. 799 00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:16,177 Hannah's already looking. 800 00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:18,679 Hannah's such a pretty name. 801 00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:21,724 She wants to go to New York. 802 00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:25,019 Good luck. 803 00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:27,522 Let's go back to dinner. 804 00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,024 It's a horrible story, Matt. 805 00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:32,193 She was a beautiful... 806 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,530 sweet girl, and she's gone. 807 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:39,283 Of course, we're supposed to tear her apart. 808 00:43:40,993 --> 00:43:43,621 Go after her reputation, her boyfriends, 809 00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:45,790 anything she's ever written or said. 810 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:48,251 So don't do it. Don't go after her. 811 00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:51,504 You always said that's why you did law. 812 00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:54,257 If it didn't always serve justice, it could serve the truth. 813 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:56,217 Right? 814 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,136 So find out the truth. 815 00:44:00,429 --> 00:44:02,014 What if it hurts our son? 816 00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:04,851 I believe he'll survive. 817 00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:09,856 The traveler returns. 818 00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:15,027 You think that Tony's a good influence? 819 00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:19,073 My sense of him is that he's a very good influence. 820 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,826 But that's not our concern at the moment, right? 821 00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:23,578 Nope. I know. 822 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:25,705 I am on board. 823 00:44:40,219 --> 00:44:41,387 I'm sorry. 824 00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:42,513 I'm... 825 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:44,891 really. 826 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:49,854 Tony and I had to talk, and we lost track of time. 827 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:54,400 And I know this was really not like me, believe me. 828 00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:56,319 And I'm sorry. 829 00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:03,242 Oh, God, I must be in huge trouble. 830 00:45:04,076 --> 00:45:05,077 No. 831 00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:08,789 But next time, a text would be appreciated before you go, 832 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,583 and not on the way home. 833 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:12,084 No, right, of course. 834 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:15,588 I couldn't reach my phone for a while. 835 00:45:15,671 --> 00:45:17,006 But, yes. 836 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:19,342 And you can ground me for a month. 837 00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:20,509 No groundings. 838 00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,470 We're just... 839 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:24,972 glad you're alive. 840 00:45:26,515 --> 00:45:27,725 Me too, Dad. 841 00:45:47,703 --> 00:45:49,622 You didn't say much on the way home. 842 00:45:52,333 --> 00:45:53,751 I wasn't sure what to say. 843 00:45:55,836 --> 00:45:57,463 I didn't lie to that woman. 844 00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:02,134 I'm still a mother. 845 00:46:02,927 --> 00:46:05,763 And to not be the mother of a dead girl for a few minutes! 846 00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:08,516 Should we move? 847 00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:09,809 What? 848 00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:12,228 Should we move? Should we go somewhere and start new? 849 00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:15,564 And... 850 00:46:16,399 --> 00:46:17,358 give up the store? 851 00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:20,736 I'll give up the store, give up the house, everything... 852 00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,073 if I have you. 853 00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:26,742 But you do. 854 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,328 You do have me. 855 00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:31,956 Okay. 856 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:33,582 Good. 857 00:46:38,379 --> 00:46:39,547 Shit. 858 00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:41,590 Damn it. 859 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,348 I thought you had poetry workshop tonight. 860 00:46:49,432 --> 00:46:50,474 Didn't go. 861 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:53,269 Never going back. 862 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,729 And we need to move. 863 00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:59,900 Four hundred and thirty a month, and that's before the false alarms, 864 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:01,819 which they charge you for, even though it's their fault. 865 00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:05,573 You should have told me you canceled. I was on hold with them for an hour! 866 00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:07,366 You know we need to cut expenses. 867 00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:09,076 We should have discussed it first. 868 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,619 We live in the safest town in America! 869 00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:12,747 - That is not the point. - Honey, honey. 870 00:47:12,830 --> 00:47:14,582 I'm just trying to make ends meet. 871 00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:18,127 And I'm not? We're either in this together, or we are not. 872 00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:20,588 We can't be penny wise and pound foolish. 873 00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:22,798 Right now we can't afford to be penny foolish. 874 00:47:22,882 --> 00:47:25,843 Okay. I don't even know what that means, honestly. 875 00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:27,928 Means we're wasting money on things we don't need. 876 00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:31,307 Sometimes the future doesn't unfold the way you think it will. 877 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,769 Shit happens, and people suck. 878 00:47:36,645 --> 00:47:38,564 Maybe that's why I stopped writing... 879 00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:41,025 and eventually started making tapes. 880 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:42,401 - Listen. - Andy, no. 881 00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:56,290 Some girls know all the lyrics to each other's songs. 882 00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:58,584 They find harmonies in their laughter. 883 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:01,420 Their linked elbows echo in tune. 884 00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:05,257 - What if I can't hum on key? - "What if I can't hum on key? 885 00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:08,803 What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears?" 886 00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,263 Is everyone reading that stupid magazine? 887 00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:13,682 I'm kind of addicted to it. 888 00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:15,935 - You never read it? - No. 889 00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:17,436 Listen to this: 890 00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:20,940 "Some people can recognize a tree, 891 00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:23,859 a front yard, and know they've made it home." 892 00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:26,320 - That sounds like shit. - You think so? 893 00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:29,323 I think it feels really real. 894 00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:34,411 "How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking? 895 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:37,206 How long before I'm lost for good? 896 00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:40,292 It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love 897 00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,002 without drowning. 898 00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:45,506 It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself. 899 00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:49,426 But I keep swallowing what I thought was air. 900 00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:51,929 I keep finding stones tied to my feet." 901 00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:55,349 I mean, damn. 902 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,228 I wonder who wrote it. 903 00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:00,729 I know, right? 904 00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:03,232 One dark human being, that's for sure. 905 00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:05,568 I mean, I like her poem, I think, 906 00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:08,988 but I'm not sure I'd want to hang out with her. 907 00:49:12,908 --> 00:49:14,118 Well... 908 00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:15,202 duty calls. 909 00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:15,429 Hi, Clay. 910 00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:17,973 Hey, Mrs. Baker. 911 00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,602 I'm sorry to bother you at work. 912 00:50:22,811 --> 00:50:24,647 I wanted to give you something. 913 00:50:30,402 --> 00:50:31,445 It's from Hannah. 914 00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:35,532 Well, it's not Hannah's, but there's a poem... 915 00:50:36,825 --> 00:50:37,701 that she wrote. 916 00:50:40,496 --> 00:50:43,624 It's really good. I mean, even our English teacher said so. 917 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:49,421 Page seven. 918 00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:11,860 It's her handwriting. 919 00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:14,530 Yeah. 920 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:18,325 I know that now.