1 00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:03,137 Hello, everyone! I'm back! 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,039 This is my boyfriend Joel. 3 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,107 Welcome to our little town, Joel. 4 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,276 I came all this way to tell you that I love you. 5 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,511 What you said to me before I left, it meant something. 6 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,380 But then it's like real life took over. 7 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,282 Zoe Hart does not get to have a real boyfriend. 8 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,549 She does not get to break your heart 9 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,085 and then waltz off into the sunset. 10 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,187 I sublet the carriage house to my cousin Lynly. 11 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:20,288 ZOE: That's Little Lynly? 12 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,090 Little Lynly is nursing a broken heart. 13 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,125 Now, if you so much as flirt with her, 14 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,559 I will remove your arms. 15 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,528 Are you planning on leaving any time soon? 16 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,529 You're just like my parents. 17 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,132 What is wrong with me? Why does everyone hate me? 18 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,100 You win the break-up contest. 19 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,801 I told Zoe Hart that 20 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,569 you have an amazing new girlfriend: me. 21 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,273 Looks like we'll be living happily ever after. 22 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,408 (chuckles) 23 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:55,356 Good morning? 24 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,559 There was a moment there when I had the fans oscillating 25 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,460 in the perfect contrapuntal motion, 26 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:02,563 and there was just the inkling of a breeze 27 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,398 coming through the mosquito screens, 28 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,633 when I didn't feel like 29 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,568 I was gonna spontaneously combust. 30 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,603 Are you sure you're gonna be okay here? 31 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,441 Of course. 32 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,842 Really? 33 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,545 Because that's the smile you use around my mother. 34 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,879 Okay. 35 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,848 (slams ice cube bag) 36 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,450 Zoe, I love you. 37 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,352 I want to be with you. 38 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:28,389 And last night, the idea of moving here seemed so romantic. 39 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,358 But now, in the... 40 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,360 not-at-all-cold light of day, 41 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,427 it feels, um... 42 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,229 Like you're sweating lava? 43 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:37,898 Yes, it's an adjustment. 44 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:38,866 Look, it all is, you know? 45 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,269 I mean, it's like, I've lived on the same block 46 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,136 for the last ten years. 47 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:45,373 You know, I had... I had my coffee place, 48 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,874 I had my sushi place. 49 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,609 The guy at the newsstand would talk to me 50 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,178 every morning about the Knicks, 51 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,380 as if I knew about sports; it was awesome. 52 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,349 Now I have a book due. 53 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,385 I don't even know if I can write here. 54 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,486 I get it. 55 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,388 You're totally at sea. 56 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,390 I wish. It'd be cooler at sea. 57 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,359 Joel, I felt the exact same way 58 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,894 when I moved here. 59 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:10,198 But you have something that I didn't: me! 60 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:13,201 I will show you the ins, the outs, 61 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:16,304 the food, the drink, the places where alligators 62 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,606 might possibly eat your computer. 63 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,243 I promise, you're gonna fall in love with BlueBell. 64 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,382 (sighs) 65 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,321 (sheets rustling) 66 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,722 (man belches) 67 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,493 I am irresistible. 68 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,528 No, you are disgusting. 69 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,730 Well, you don't think I'm disgusting 70 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,432 when I'm doing that thing you like. 71 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,299 You know, 72 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,601 the one with the... Stop! Go! Get out! 73 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,970 See you here at noon? 74 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:50,971 No! 75 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,740 Okay. 11:30. 76 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,381 (birds chirping) 77 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,554 (clears throat) Hey... 78 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:10,391 person... who I'm horrified to say 79 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,659 I don't know the name of. 80 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,562 Just call me Chick from Last Night. 81 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,563 Okay. 82 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:18,966 Well, uh, Chick, um, thank you 83 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,234 for, you know. 84 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,435 Uh, it was great. 85 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,337 It was... it was really, really great. 86 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,239 But you've got places to go. 87 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:26,206 And so do I. 88 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,276 Been through the morning-after drill before. 89 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,978 Okay. Uh, well, then feel free to shower. 90 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,580 And... 91 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,315 I made you some eggs. 92 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,586 No one's ever made me eggs. 93 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,588 It's not that hard; you just crack 'em, 94 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,390 and you mix 'em up, and then... 95 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,992 Well, you have a great day. 96 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,794 It's a pleasure to meet you. 97 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,762 Good-bye. 98 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,503 DASH: Well, Blawkers, 99 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:58,672 it's official, Lemon-ade lives! 100 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,608 So tell me, 101 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,776 when did you two first feel that first spark? 102 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,314 Well, who could forget? 103 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,316 Uh, it happened this past... 104 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,383 Saturday. ...Summer. 105 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,619 Summer. Summer. She's always right. 106 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:12,620 (chuckles): Oh. 107 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,787 Well, Wade, did you ever 108 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,489 imagine that you'd settle down 109 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,425 with someone like Lemon Breeland here? 110 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,759 (laughs) Never! 111 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,361 (foot stamps) (clears throat) 112 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,496 It's just, I-I never thought she'd be interested 113 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,631 in someone like me. 114 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:24,832 Oh. (chuckles): Oh. 115 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,766 And, Lemon, 116 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:26,767 what is it, pray tell, 117 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,835 about Wade Kinsella 118 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,770 that you're attracted to? 119 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,340 Well... 120 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,508 It must be my willingness to go along 121 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,444 with all her crazy ideas. 122 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,511 Oh. 123 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,846 (silverware tapping glass) 124 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,382 It means you're supposed to kiss. 125 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,385 At weddings, not at our place of business. 126 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,487 This is not a bordello. (chuckles) 127 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,521 WANDA: Come on! 128 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,856 It's an added attraction. 129 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,057 Kiss! 130 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,559 Kiss! Kiss! 131 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,727 ALL (chanting): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 132 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,563 (chanting continues) 133 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:56,664 Come on, kiss. 134 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,532 (applause) 135 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:01,835 (quietly): This is a disaster. 136 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,772 I only lied because I thought that Zoe was leaving. 137 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,475 You are the one who outed us to the whole town. 138 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,344 I didn't plan on anyone thinking that I would actually date you. 139 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,812 I have a reputation to protect. 140 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,547 Oh, says the girl who's screwing Meatball. 141 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,715 (gasps) 142 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,784 That is my own private shame. 143 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,386 I can't have a public one, too. 144 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,587 You know how hard I've been working 145 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,888 to find the right sort of man. 146 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,123 Let's just end this now. 147 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,692 We cannot end this now! 148 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:25,859 Everybody would be onto us. 149 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,828 We have to be covert and deliberate. 150 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,497 Well, let me just 151 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,499 grab this pencil, and I will take notes 152 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,100 on how you dissolve a fake relationship. 153 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,201 Well, fine. 154 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,505 Step one: we announce that we're having problems. 155 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,606 Step two: 156 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,107 we stage a fight, and we end it. 157 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,609 And step three: 158 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,843 we all just move on with our lives, 159 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,712 and we hope everybody here 160 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,480 has amnesia. (silverware tapping glass) 161 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,115 ALL (chanting): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 162 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,751 (chanting continues) 163 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,153 Step four: you get some mouthwash. 164 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,856 (applause) 165 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,591 DASH: And they kissed. 166 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,860 (car horn honks) 167 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,129 (seagulls calling) 168 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,465 (birds singing) 169 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:11,939 Once Lemon became a roadhouse proprietress, 170 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,874 it was only a matter of time 171 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,444 until she started dating the help. 172 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,678 What's that supposed to mean? 173 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,748 Who's Lemon dating? 174 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,782 Wade Kinsella. 175 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,152 Also, please don't ever address us ever again. 176 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,555 (chuckles): Wade Kinsella? 177 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,890 She would never date Wade Kinsella. 178 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,192 Oh, they outed themselves to the whole town last night. 179 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,528 Lemon's no spring chicken, 180 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:37,465 but I didn't expect her to just give up. 181 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,835 The Butter Stick is where you get 182 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,571 your basic pastries and your coffee. 183 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,672 (door slams) Oh. 184 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,906 How are the bagels? 185 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,675 Here, they call them English muffins. 186 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,878 Tom, hey! This is my boyfriend. Joel Stephens. 187 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,513 (chuckles) 188 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,915 The Cicada's Lament is my favorite book ever! 189 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,685 I bought it online because I thought it was about bugs. 190 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,487 And then I was reading it, and I was like, 191 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,488 "This isn't about bugs." 192 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,589 And then I was like, 193 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,691 "This is about everything." 194 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,593 I have no less than 45 questions 195 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,961 that I have been dying to ask you, Mr. Stephens. 196 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,797 Oh, yeah, well, sure. 197 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,931 And I'm Joel. 198 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:11,932 Ah! 199 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,667 I'll get us some coffee. 200 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,769 Ooh! 201 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,771 Big Z! 202 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,674 (chuckles) I'm happy to be running into you again. 203 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:21,909 What's up? 204 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,945 Oh, just trying to get Joel to fall in love with BlueBell. 205 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,548 That, my friend, is ironic. 206 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,949 Like me, he's a New Yorker. 207 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,951 He needs to connect with the people. 208 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,720 You know, the really cool, awesome people, 209 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:36,223 like, my very, very, very best friend. 210 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,558 Say no more. 211 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:38,792 Dinner at the mayor's plantation tonight. 212 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,961 AB and I will roll out the red carpet. 213 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:41,962 You're the best. 214 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,565 Oh, but you may want to take him 215 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,833 to the Rammer Jammer for breakfast. 216 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,035 Tom's got that look he gets when he's taught 217 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,703 his hamster a new trick. 218 00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:50,971 No, I'm not taking him to the Rammer Jammer. 219 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,005 Not because of Wade. 220 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,240 Not because of Wade. 221 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:54,742 Because of Wade and Lemon. 222 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,744 Totally different, totally disturbing, 223 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,011 and possibly against nature. 224 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,013 Yeah, I admit, it's freaking my goose. 225 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,716 No one likes to see their ex with someone else. 226 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,752 But are you sure that's all it is? 227 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,554 Yes, that's all. 228 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,855 Okay. 229 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:08,989 Get over it. 230 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,858 Otherwise, you're gonna run out of places 231 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,259 to eat real quick. 232 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,894 Thank you. 233 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,797 Hey, hon, c-can you get me a croissant? 234 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,566 Oh, here, they call them English muffins. 235 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,033 Come on. I'm gonna take you somewhere else. 236 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,670 Oh. Should I come? 237 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,638 No, Tom. 238 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,540 Oh, okay. 239 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,875 MEATBALL: So, the whole time 240 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,009 we were getting down... 241 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,545 Shh! ...you and Wade? 242 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,080 Listen, it's-it's complicated. 243 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,582 Wade is my best friend! 244 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,849 You turned me into a guy 245 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,751 that sleeps with his best friend's girl! 246 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,052 Okay, listen, I-I will make it up 247 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,888 to you later, all right? Now just go. 248 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:41,822 No! 249 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,291 Until you and Wade are through, 250 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,627 this Meatball is closed for business. 251 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,028 (chuckles) 252 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,296 You're not serious. 253 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,665 Oh, I am very serious. 254 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,136 Anyway, I thought that's what you wanted. 255 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:00,908 You know what? 256 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,643 You're absolutely right. 257 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,116 (whistling) 258 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,352 You're still here. 259 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,253 Sorry if it's weird, 260 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,322 but I didn't know how to contact you, 261 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,025 and I wanted to offer to make you dinner later. 262 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,828 You know, to repay you for the eggs. 263 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,930 You know what? That's-that's not necessary. 264 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,032 Huge relief, 'cause I don't cook. 265 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,133 We could go out. 266 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,637 Uh... you know, listen, um, 267 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,705 I hope I haven't given you the wrong idea here, 268 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:34,642 but since we didn't even exchange names, 269 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,377 I thought that this was kind of a one-time... 270 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,946 Oh, yeah, totally! 271 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,948 I've got to go. 272 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,884 And I'll see you around. 273 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,720 Yeah. 274 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,388 The name Rammer Jammer comes from 275 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,157 the University of Alabama's fight song, 276 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,825 not something vaguely sexual, 277 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,761 which is what I thought for the first year. 278 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,095 Thanks. 279 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,866 Doc, Mr. Doc. 280 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,734 What can I, uh, get for y'all? 281 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,169 Pancakes for two. 282 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,737 Actually, uh, when in Alabama. 283 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,372 I will have the grits. 284 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,707 Grits. Sure? 285 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,041 It's kind of an acquired taste. 286 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,376 Grits don't scare me. 287 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,144 As long as they're not prepared with 288 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,112 or near peanuts, 289 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,381 peanut oil, mushrooms or cumin. 290 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,983 I've got allergies. 291 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,886 Hmm. Hold the cumin. 292 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:19,920 Gotcha. 293 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,924 I can't believe there are actually guys like that. 294 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:24,792 Did you see his guns? 295 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,695 I bet he got them doing something rugged 296 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,396 like chopping down trees or something... 297 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,798 Does he chop down trees? 298 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,000 Funny thing: 299 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,869 Wade and I sort of dated. 300 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,404 No. 301 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,806 Yeah, just for a few months though 302 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:39,907 before I left. 303 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,875 But we broke up, and... 304 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:42,776 him and Lemon dating now, 305 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,745 so I hope that you're okay with that. 306 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:45,913 Yeah, you know, 307 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,749 I'm sure that all big-city doctors that go down South, 308 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:51,919 uh, go through their bad-boy-bartender phase. 309 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,153 Yeah, I'm fine. 310 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,855 Good. 311 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,890 Ew! Why? 312 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:59,126 I thought we were supposed to be having problems. 313 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,961 Well, it turns out, me being with you 314 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,696 is the best Meatball deterrent there is. 315 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,831 I thought sleeping with Meatball 316 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,165 is the best Meatball deterrent there is. 317 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,934 You'd think, but there's this thing that he does... 318 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:07,735 Ew, gross, stop! 319 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,837 Bleh! (silverware tapping glass) 320 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,039 Listen, I... Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 321 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,177 Listen, I think if I can just detox from Meatball 322 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,747 for a few days, then I can quell my addiction. 323 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,981 Please? 324 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,818 We are definitely not breaking up. 325 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:25,853 (chuckles) 326 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:28,922 (whoops) Hello! 327 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,758 You okay? 328 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,761 Yeah, I just... I want to get you some coffee. 329 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,964 The service here leaves something to be desired. 330 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,144 You know, I just heard the darnedest thing. 331 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,480 I was out buying my morning paper, 332 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,817 'cause it's just not a paper if you read it on a screen. 333 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,818 Right? 334 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,820 And I ran into Sal. 335 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,889 And you know what Sal had to say? 336 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,792 He was telling me all about how you and my daughter 337 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:05,859 were seeing each other! 338 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,094 Now, when did that happen?! 339 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,829 Uh, summer. 340 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,230 Oh, summer. Oh, summer, you say. 341 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,901 So-so I've been coming in here every day, for months, 342 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,202 and you've poured my coffee, 343 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,005 you, uh, chatted me up about sports and about cars, 344 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,873 and it never occurred to you to tell me 345 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,809 that you are dating my daughter? 346 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,178 I see now that that m-might bother you. 347 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,515 Oh... I don't expect you to ask my permission. 348 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,851 But at least I deserve better than hearing about it 349 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,985 from the fishmonger! 350 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,821 Uh, ah! 351 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,088 Ah! 352 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,791 I got my eye on you. 353 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,130 (sighs): Man. 354 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,965 I just don't understand. 355 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:45,833 AnnaBeth and I spent 356 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:48,869 all summer making this list of Alabama's 357 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,203 most eligible bachelors for you. 358 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,271 Good-bye, Horace Vanderlinden. 359 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,107 Good-bye, Charles Ludlow-Strauss. 360 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,943 Good-bye, Carter Covington. 361 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,244 I think I'll miss you most of all. 362 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,279 Okay, okay, you know, you can just stop 363 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,815 with the martyr routine, because we all know 364 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,250 that you copied that list from Southern Living. 365 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,052 You know who's not on the list? 366 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,854 Wade Kinsella. 367 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,890 Right. Well, Wade and I are dating each other 368 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,591 for very complicated reasons, so... 369 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,960 Abs. 370 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,928 But who knows if Wade and I will work out? 371 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,930 So I will just take this list. 372 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:17,931 Insurance. 373 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,167 I mean, after all, you did go 374 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,270 to all that trouble of copying it. 375 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,210 Oh, I was thinking steak. 376 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,312 Unless Joel is one of those New Yorkers 377 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,882 who doesn't eat meat, and then that would be... 378 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,184 Oh... what is it? 379 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,586 I called, uh, I texted. 380 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,355 Haven't heard from Lynly all morning. 381 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,892 Yeah, uh, I have to tell you, um, 382 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:48,395 yesterday, I asked Lynly when she was planning to leave, 383 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:52,099 and she maybe thought it was because I want her to leave. 384 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,334 And-and-and why would she think that? 385 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,336 Because I do want her to leave. 386 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,905 I'm sorry, Lavon. 387 00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,107 I know she's your cousin, I know you love her, 388 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,909 but she's driving me nuts! 389 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,644 Well, I-I realize that Lynly may be emotional 390 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,413 and a-a tad high-maintenance 391 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,115 right now, but... 392 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,018 But I remind you that she's going through a heartbreak. 393 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:11,818 I know. 394 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,887 Look, I remind you that her daddy 395 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,355 taught me how to throw a football. 396 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,357 I know. I remind you that Uncle Shel 397 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,359 and Aunt Beatrice looked out for me. 398 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,228 And I promised them that I would 399 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,229 look out for Lynly. 400 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,630 That-that we 401 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,664 would look out for Lynly. 402 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,033 She is a grown woman. 403 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,367 I'm sure she's fine. 404 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,971 Oh, absolutely fine. 405 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,139 Don't mind me. 406 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,174 I'm just gonna go kill myself. 407 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,979 What's wrong, Lynly? 408 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,114 I met a guy. Oh, no, no! 409 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,449 No, a nice guy-- he made me eggs. 410 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,384 Eggs? Scrambled. 411 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,219 It's like he knew they were my favorite. 412 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,056 But he said he doesn't want to see me again. 413 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,058 Who is he? Just tell me the jerk's name. 414 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,193 I don't know it. 415 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,930 But I wouldn't tell you anyway because you'll kill him. 416 00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,167 If I'm feeling generous. 417 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,102 Excuse me. 418 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,039 (door slams) 419 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,307 Well, I still don't understand why we had 420 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,308 to leave the Rammer Jammer. 421 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,977 It was too loud. 422 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:10,978 You wouldn't get writing done there. 423 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,180 Why write inside when you can write in nature? 424 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,282 Here. Great. 425 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,085 The only thing is we don't have a plug-in. 426 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,687 Oh, actually, I left my plug somewhere this morning, 427 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,722 so I'm gonna have to buy a new one. 428 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,491 No, this is BlueBell. 429 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,193 If it's not right where you left it, 430 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,395 it's because someone found it and wants to hand-deliver it. 431 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,964 Probably with a basket of muffins. 432 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,099 I can get used to that. 433 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,200 See? 434 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:37,104 Get Joel acclimated to BlueBell-- going perfectly. 435 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,040 Hey, uh, I'm not getting a Wi-Fi signal, 436 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,309 and my manuscript is stored on the Cloud. 437 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,111 Okay. 438 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,312 No worries, man. 439 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,314 Because there's definitely 440 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,516 Wi-Fi in BlueBell. 441 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,451 Just got to move a little. 442 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,486 (stammers) Okay. 443 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,226 Pardon me. My GPS isn't working. 444 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,328 I'm trying to find my way back to Mobile. 445 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,396 Mobile's a dump. 446 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,165 Perhaps. 447 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000 But I'd still like some directions if you don't mind. 448 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,269 All right. 449 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,406 Let's see. 450 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,344 Here, let me help you. 451 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,545 Oh, why, thank you. 452 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,213 Absolutely. 453 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,016 Are you planning to spill a lot? 454 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,052 Oh... (laughs) 455 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,353 No, no, those aren't for me. 456 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,089 They're for a, um, fine-dining establishment 457 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,557 of which I am the co-owner. 458 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,159 My mother was a businesswoman. 459 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,193 No one I respect more. 460 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,096 Well, there's no one I respect more than a man 461 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,464 who respects his mother. 462 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,765 (both chuckle) 463 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,168 Oh, uh, where are my manners? 464 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,369 I haven't even introduced myself. 465 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,804 I'm-I'm Lemon Breeland. 466 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,773 The legendary Lemon Breeland. 467 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,276 Your legacy precedes you. 468 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,577 I'm Carter Covington. 469 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:54,114 And your name precedes you. 470 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,216 Anything now? 471 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,152 Not a single bar. 472 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,289 You know, why don't we just go try over by the Hem 'n Haw. 473 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,790 That-that's a real place? 474 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,160 Wow, South, you do not disappoint. 475 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,206 Huh. 476 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,508 Well, Miss Breeland, I'm gonna be in Mobile 477 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,276 for the next few days. 478 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,279 If I spill something, can I give you a call? 479 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,581 The pleasure would be all mine, Mr. Covington. 480 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,424 (yelling) 481 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,525 Oh, my God! Ow! 482 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,127 (stammers) 483 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,128 Joel? 484 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,562 Ow, ow, something is biting me! 485 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,563 I'm coming! 486 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,564 Oh, God, I was just... 487 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,832 I was sitting there and... ow! 488 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,400 No, no, no! 489 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,568 No one sits on this rock! 490 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,303 Everyone knows that's Fire Ant Rock. 491 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,871 Not everyone! 492 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,273 We got to get you to Dr. Breeland. 493 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,274 Oh! Ooh! 494 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,875 Son of a bitch! 495 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,178 Oh! 496 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,587 Okay. 497 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,323 Remember how I said earlier that we couldn't break up? 498 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:11,891 Well, I retract. 499 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,861 What? No, I was kind of enjoying our fake relationship, huh? 500 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,163 Well, too bad. 501 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,531 A fake relationship with you may help me 502 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:21,368 with my Meatball addiction, but do you know what's sure to? 503 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,870 A real relationship with an authentic gentleman 504 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,538 not named after spaghetti's sidekick. 505 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,474 So, in one hour, 506 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,476 I will be leaking to AnnaBeth that we are having problems. 507 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,477 Deal. 508 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,245 Fine. 509 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,615 I just hope my next fake girlfriend isn't so bossy. 510 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,617 (winces, groans) ZOE: Have I said that I was sorry? 511 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,252 'Cause I am really sorry. 512 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:40,487 Oh, it's no big deal. 513 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,688 Oh, really? 514 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,290 No, actually, no, it's a huge deal. 515 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,458 My ass is on fire, and a man I hardly know 516 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,460 is giving me an intimate massage. 517 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,928 BRICK: Well, I apologize, but I am 518 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,630 the only doctor in town. 519 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,299 I thought I banned you. 520 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,500 I'm here as girlfriend, not doctor. 521 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,401 Well, some girlfriend. 522 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,570 You-you let him sit on Fire Ant Rock. 523 00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,639 All right, the swelling should subside 524 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,441 in a couple hours, so you just need 525 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,643 to-to monitor these blisters. 526 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,379 If they start leaking pus, it means you're infected. 527 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,216 You, in the corner, 528 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,483 hands at your side, 529 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,319 mouth closed. 530 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,587 MAN (over TV): To keep your body absolutely still 531 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:18,258 during the putting stroke, imagine you're trying not 532 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,727 to be noticed by a pride of lions. 533 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,963 And pray God they haven't smelled your urine. 534 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,199 This is like a life-or-death game of golf. 535 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,268 This is... 536 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,503 Hey! I... 537 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,439 I was... I... George Tucker. 538 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,207 You are Lavon Hayes's lawyer, and as such, 539 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,309 I need you to make sure I don't do anything illegal. 540 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,944 Happy to help. Now, you may not now this, 541 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679 but my little cousin Lynly's in town. 542 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,314 Some punk hurt her. 543 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,949 Now, I'd assume it was Wade, but he's with Lemon, so... 544 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,218 Wait, I'm sorry. Wait, back that up. 545 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,553 Did you say Wade was with Lemon? 546 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,954 As in Lemon and Wade 547 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,256 are... they're together? 548 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,657 Is that...? Yeah. 549 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,958 So, guys, what can I get for you? 550 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:52,925 No, we're plotting, not eating. 551 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,262 You're dating my ex-fiancée and didn't think 552 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,264 that information might be relevant for me to know? 553 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,600 Oh, right, I-I see how that might bother you, yeah. 554 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:01,968 You know, 'cause when I dated 555 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,603 your ex-wife, I asked you first. 556 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,006 Uh, if it helps, 557 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,475 Lemon and I are apparently having problems. 558 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,343 So, there's that. Yeah. 559 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,579 Geez, Louise, some people in this town have no respect 560 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:13,980 for the sanctimony of fr... well... 561 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,983 you know, don't even get me started on you. 562 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,385 Oh, come on, man, we-we moved past that. 563 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,218 Now, I got pressing business. 564 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,254 How do I find this guy, threaten him, 565 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,490 but not end up in prison? 566 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,591 Ah, what did he do? 567 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,625 He messed with Little Lynly! 568 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,427 (groans) Anybody can look 569 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,296 in her eyes and see that she is fragile. 570 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,997 And she's suffering again. 571 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,599 You do not make a-a girl eggs 572 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,268 and then walk out on her. 573 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,269 Eggs. 574 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,504 Mmm. 575 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,407 So, I take it that Little Lynly, 576 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,642 she's not 14 anymore? 577 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,277 She's 25. 578 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,281 Well, you know, consenting adults. 579 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,050 Maybe there were some mitigating factors. 580 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,051 Yeah. 581 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,654 I'll let the dude explain them right before I put 582 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,357 his nose through his eyes. 583 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,429 Come on. 584 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,030 We've got a future eunuch to find. 585 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,032 Yeah, yeah, um, we might 586 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,267 just want to just leave that there. 587 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,441 AnnaBeth, I was just 588 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:15,675 at the Butter Stick, and I heard 589 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,510 the most interesting thing. 590 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,646 That you ordered a cheesecake for tonight. 591 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,714 Now, I know that you only order cheesecake 592 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,316 when you're having a dinner party. 593 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,651 Lemon, I'm sorry. 594 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,353 But the only reason I didn't invite you is 595 00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,355 because it's for Zoe Hart and her boyfriend. 596 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,822 Oh, bup, bup, bup, no, no need to apologize. 597 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,791 I just need an invitation. 598 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,560 You did hear the part where I said 599 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:34,794 it's for Zoe and Joel, right? 600 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,095 Uh-huh, so you'll definitely need 601 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,431 to invite some people that I can talk to. 602 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,766 Maybe, uh, Stanley and Crickett. 603 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,668 Oh, and funny thing, 604 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,536 I ran into Carter Covington, 605 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:45,572 who's staying in Mobile for a few days. 606 00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,540 Carter Covington? Mm-hmm. 607 00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:48,675 Bachelor number nine on your list? Mm-hmm. 608 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:49,676 Wait, what about Wade? 609 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,078 Oh, yes, well... 610 00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:55,415 between you and I, we've been having some problems. 611 00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:58,084 But, I mean, who couldn't see that coming, right? 612 00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,752 I am so confused. 613 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,589 First, you tell me that you're sleeping with someone 614 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:03,690 too shameful to ever admit, 615 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,091 then you told the whole town 616 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,693 you're dating Wade. Oh, is Wade the secret guy? 617 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,828 Or is the secret guy 618 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,497 the reason you're having problems with Wade? 619 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:14,100 Okay, AnnaBeth, my life is rapidly going down the commode. 620 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,835 So I need you, my best friend, 621 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:19,372 my only friend, to invite me and Carter Covington 622 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,408 to this dinner party tonight and trust that one day 623 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,842 it will all make sense! 624 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:23,843 Of course. 625 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,144 Great! 626 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,113 Well, I'll go home and steam my party dress. 627 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,748 See you tonight! 628 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,622 What-what did she mean, "See you tonight"? 629 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:40,727 Well... there are a few additions to the guest list. 630 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,395 Like Lemon? 631 00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:44,931 You invited my sworn enemy to my boyfriend's party? 632 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,634 I'm so, so sorry, but she needs this. 633 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,536 She and Wade are having problems. 634 00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:50,870 Problems? 635 00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:51,938 Mmm. 636 00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:53,440 Since when? 637 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:54,874 I'm not sure exactly. 638 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:57,644 I only found out they were dating yesterday. 639 00:22:58,678 --> 00:22:59,879 Yesterday? 640 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,448 Interesting. 641 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,749 So where now? 642 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:04,951 Uh... (sighs) well, we've been all over BlueBell, 643 00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:06,886 and no one saw her with anyone last night, 644 00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,489 so I guess we just trust 645 00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,491 that the guy really regrets what he did, 646 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:14,160 and we just call it a day. 647 00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,895 We haven't been to Torchy's. 648 00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,564 Yeah, people always go to Torchy's 649 00:23:17,597 --> 00:23:19,566 to do things they don't want anybody to know about! 650 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,634 Oh, no, no, listen, listen, Lavon, Lavon, hey, hey, hey. 651 00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,670 Stop, stop, stop. Listen. 652 00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,572 I know that you are worried, 653 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:27,774 but I really do think the healthiest thing 654 00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:30,910 for both of you right now 655 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:33,746 would just be to... to go home. 656 00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:36,883 (scoffs) You're right. 657 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,918 I can get the truth out of Lynly 658 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,520 at the dinner party tonight. 659 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,188 Dinner party? I'm sorry, what? 660 00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:43,790 Yeah, for Zoe's new boyfriend. 661 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,793 Joel! Yeah, he seems so great. 662 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,227 Um, look, uh, would-would it be okay 663 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,497 if I came to the dinner party tonight? 664 00:23:50,530 --> 00:23:51,764 I mean, I probably should. 665 00:23:51,798 --> 00:23:55,802 You know, just in case you get tempted to do something stupid. 666 00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,804 (chuckles) 667 00:23:57,837 --> 00:23:59,939 Oh! You are a great friend, George Tucker. 668 00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,808 (both chuckle) 669 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:03,710 Yeah. See you tonight. 670 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:06,445 Oh, my God. 671 00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:09,882 Wanda, have you seen Joel's power cord? 672 00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:12,619 We think that he left it here this morning. 673 00:24:12,652 --> 00:24:15,888 Oh, shoot. I was gonna bake some muffins and take it to you. 674 00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:17,624 Come on. 675 00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:18,758 (chuckles) 676 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,259 WADE: Doc... 677 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,629 how's your new boyfriend's first day in BlueBell going? 678 00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,631 So you heard about the fire ants. 679 00:24:24,664 --> 00:24:26,699 Yeah, Dash posted some great pics. 680 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:27,700 It's a setback. 681 00:24:27,734 --> 00:24:29,902 But we are going to a dinner party at Lavon's, 682 00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:31,237 and it's going to be lovely. 683 00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:32,238 Oh, that sounds wonderful. 684 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:33,840 Can he sit? 685 00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,975 Okay, maybe I dropped the ball a little bit. 686 00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,243 I was distracted. 687 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,011 But you know whose fault that is? 688 00:24:39,879 --> 00:24:42,615 Yes, technically, mine. 689 00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:43,750 But I was busy 690 00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:45,752 watching your fake girlfriend flirt 691 00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:47,854 with another very handsome man. 692 00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,656 What? Mm-hmm. 693 00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:51,057 At least my boyfriend's real. 694 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,025 You're just faking this whole thing with Lemon 695 00:24:53,059 --> 00:24:54,861 just to get to me. First of all, 696 00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:56,863 very mature; second of all, 697 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:57,730 it's not working. 698 00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,265 You may as well just cut the charade. 699 00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:02,001 You are just so wrong. 700 00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:03,002 Oh, am I? 701 00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:04,003 Top ten wrongest... 702 00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:06,272 Hey! Hi. I got it. 703 00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,574 Everything okay? 704 00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:09,008 Yeah, everything's great. Let's go. 705 00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:11,077 All right. 706 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,979 Y'all have a good night. 707 00:25:15,114 --> 00:25:16,683 Hey, Wanda, 708 00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:19,652 I'm gonna need you to get a tie out of the lost and found. 709 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,521 I'm meeting my girlfriend Lemon at a dinner party tonight. 710 00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,899 I don't mean to be one of those harpy women we hate, 711 00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:35,568 but you were supposed to be here to help me set up. 712 00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,303 And now party guests are arriving 713 00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:39,038 before the party lighting is ready. 714 00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,641 We were trying to track down the guy that upset Lynly. 715 00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:42,642 Oh! Lynly? 716 00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:44,577 What a surprise! Hi! 717 00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:46,813 Oh, good to see you! Thank you for coming! 718 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:48,715 You two are fighting, aren't you? 719 00:25:48,748 --> 00:25:51,751 I guess that explains the party lighting. 720 00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,053 ANNABETH: Voilà! 721 00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:55,888 Ooh. 722 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,327 Oh, Mr. Covington, so nice to see you. 723 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,929 I can't think 724 00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:04,831 of a better way to spend an evening... 725 00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:05,732 or more delightful company. 726 00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:09,702 I am Dr. Brick Breeland, Lemon's father. 727 00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,337 Pleased to meet you, sir. Carter Covington. 728 00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:12,672 Carter. 729 00:26:12,705 --> 00:26:14,941 Well, Daddy, don't let us keep you. 730 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,342 Oh, nonsense, sweetheart. 731 00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:18,144 Carter, let me tell you a little story 732 00:26:18,177 --> 00:26:20,813 about a friend of mine who got so busy at work, 733 00:26:20,847 --> 00:26:23,816 he took his eye off his lovely daughter. 734 00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:26,819 And she ended up dating a bartender! 735 00:26:26,853 --> 00:26:29,055 I bet he never let that happen again. 736 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,056 No, he won't. 737 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,090 (chuckles) 738 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:32,825 So, uh, Zoe tells me 739 00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:35,061 that you're quite the football athlete. 740 00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:37,664 Oh, well, uh, back in the day anyway. 741 00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:40,099 I mean, now I just limit myself to video games. 742 00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:42,869 Sometimes I get injured playing those, you know? 743 00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:43,936 (all chuckle) 744 00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:45,972 Shall we? 745 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:47,807 Lavon used to play for the NFL, 746 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,676 but around here he is remembered 747 00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:51,678 as being the star of the Crimson Tide. 748 00:26:51,711 --> 00:26:52,845 Number 47 was retired 749 00:26:52,879 --> 00:26:54,981 about a second after he stopped playing. 750 00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,883 That's so weird. There's a guy on Amazon 751 00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,384 with the user name RollTide47. 752 00:26:58,417 --> 00:26:59,986 He must be a big fan. 753 00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:01,120 RollTide47, that's me. 754 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:02,154 What?! 755 00:27:02,188 --> 00:27:03,756 I can't believe you remember that. 756 00:27:03,790 --> 00:27:04,824 Yeah, I have this problem; 757 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:07,794 um, try as I might, I remember every bad review 758 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:08,928 and everyone who wrote them. 759 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,930 You hated The Cicada's Lament. 760 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:13,032 No, no, no. 761 00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:15,001 You're that Joel Stephens? 762 00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:16,903 Oh, surely, you didn't hate the book. 763 00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:18,204 He gave it one star. 764 00:27:18,237 --> 00:27:19,806 The majority of the review 765 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:20,773 is about his outrage 766 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,975 that Amazon doesn't let you give zero stars. 767 00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:24,877 Yeah, it wasn't my favorite. 768 00:27:24,911 --> 00:27:26,412 You know what might help us? 769 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:27,847 Three drinks. 770 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,949 And one for each of you. 771 00:27:32,852 --> 00:27:35,421 Lynly, I'm so glad you came! 772 00:27:35,454 --> 00:27:37,724 In my dress? 773 00:27:37,757 --> 00:27:39,826 You were so nice to invite me that I wanted 774 00:27:39,859 --> 00:27:41,427 to do something nice for you, too. 775 00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:43,062 This is really meant for someone younger. 776 00:27:43,095 --> 00:27:44,997 George! 777 00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:49,035 Um, George, have you, um... have you met 778 00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:50,169 Lavon's cousin, Lynly? 779 00:27:50,202 --> 00:27:52,038 Nope, never. Oh, well, 780 00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:53,940 then you two will have so much 781 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:55,875 to talk about. 782 00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:58,911 Oh, welcome to the party! 783 00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,747 Could I talk to you? 784 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:04,817 I promise these aren't all for me. 785 00:28:08,054 --> 00:28:09,021 Wade?! 786 00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,790 Hey, Doc, good news. 787 00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:12,825 Me and Lemon patched things up. 788 00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:13,926 I know you're worried. 789 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,028 This party is for Joel. 790 00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:17,964 Oh, good thinking-- after the day he's had, 791 00:28:17,997 --> 00:28:19,198 boy could use a party, right? 792 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:20,767 (chuckles) Huh? 793 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,068 Hey, grab me a beer, pal. 794 00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:23,936 Thank you. 795 00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:25,938 It's totally fine that you didn't like my book. 796 00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:28,775 I'm just curious what exactly you didn't like. 797 00:28:28,808 --> 00:28:31,210 I don't know, it just wasn't for me. 798 00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,945 I get it, I get it. (chuckles) 799 00:28:32,979 --> 00:28:34,747 Hey, I probably wouldn't have liked it myself 800 00:28:34,781 --> 00:28:35,948 if I hadn't have written it. 801 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:36,883 Right. 802 00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:39,251 But what, specifically, wasn't for you? 803 00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:40,953 I don't remember details. 804 00:28:40,987 --> 00:28:42,288 Actually, if you don't remember the details, 805 00:28:42,321 --> 00:28:45,958 then maybe you wouldn't mind deleting the review. 806 00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:47,493 (chuckling): Uh... no. 807 00:28:47,526 --> 00:28:49,095 See, I wouldn't have been that harsh 808 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,797 if I didn't really hate it. 809 00:28:58,037 --> 00:28:59,105 Hmm. 810 00:28:59,138 --> 00:29:00,239 I figured I could blow my trust 811 00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:01,273 on an amazing year in Europe, 812 00:29:01,307 --> 00:29:02,508 or I could buy my own company. 813 00:29:02,541 --> 00:29:03,542 (both laugh) 814 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:04,977 Now I have 15 offices in Europe, 815 00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:06,813 and I can go any time I want. 816 00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:10,016 Well, you are such a... an upright young man, 817 00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,851 I think I'll just get out of your hair. 818 00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:12,985 Uh, no! 819 00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:15,855 Um, aren't you concerned about where in Europe, Daddy? 820 00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:19,525 Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, Carter, let me... 821 00:29:19,558 --> 00:29:20,893 let me ask you a question. 822 00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:22,995 Uh, you spend much time in France? 823 00:29:23,029 --> 00:29:24,063 Because I'm a little concerned 824 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,165 about the loose moral structure of that country. 825 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:30,536 You, now, come. 826 00:29:30,569 --> 00:29:32,939 Look, last night, I obviously did not know 827 00:29:32,972 --> 00:29:34,073 that you were Lavon's cousin. 828 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,541 And I also somehow missed the fact 829 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,945 that you are in a very vulnerable state. 830 00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:40,279 And I'm very sorry. 831 00:29:40,312 --> 00:29:41,547 I feel like a chump. 832 00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:43,282 No, I'm sorry. It was a one-night thing. 833 00:29:43,315 --> 00:29:44,951 We both knew. I shouldn't have pushed. 834 00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:46,152 Great, great! 835 00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:49,021 Now, if you could somehow not tell Lavon that it was me, 836 00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:50,990 that would be swell because he is a friend. 837 00:29:51,023 --> 00:29:52,558 But a friend is not going to be so forgiving 838 00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:54,160 of another friend taking advantage of his very young, 839 00:29:54,193 --> 00:29:55,962 vulnerable cousin. 840 00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:57,196 Also, I like my legs. 841 00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:58,898 Okay, I won't tell him... 842 00:29:58,931 --> 00:30:01,167 if you answer this question. 843 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,202 You're great, I'm great, 844 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:06,305 so why does it have to be a one-time thing? 845 00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:08,307 All right, listen, Lynly. 846 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:11,110 I cannot even conceive of starting 847 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:13,179 a new relationship right now. 848 00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:14,881 And that is not gonna change. 849 00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:19,185 Well, I guess there's nothing much else to say, is there? 850 00:30:19,218 --> 00:30:21,220 Just that I really do like my legs. 851 00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:23,890 You know, walking, biking, wearing pants. 852 00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:26,125 Hey, George, uh, could you give us a sec? 853 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,160 I need to talk to Lynly. 854 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,329 Funny, I have to talk to you, too. 855 00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:38,204 So, no one knew until yesterday 856 00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:40,006 that Lemon and Wade were dating? 857 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,408 No. All we knew was she'd been 858 00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:44,010 secretly sleeping with someone. 859 00:30:44,043 --> 00:30:46,112 And you didn't know who that someone was? 860 00:30:46,145 --> 00:30:47,646 Well, I thought it was 861 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,016 that well-toned banker from Mobile. Robert? 862 00:30:50,049 --> 00:30:52,651 No, Robert's the one with the perfectly tailored suits. 863 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:53,953 I was talking about Adam, 864 00:30:53,986 --> 00:30:55,121 with the really good hair. 865 00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:56,188 Oh. Yeah. 866 00:30:56,222 --> 00:30:58,357 Anyway, now we know why Lemon kept it a secret. 867 00:30:58,390 --> 00:31:01,093 I mean, who would ever admit they were with Wade? 868 00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:03,229 (both snicker) 869 00:31:03,262 --> 00:31:05,297 Sorry. 870 00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:06,632 Mmm. 871 00:31:06,665 --> 00:31:08,267 STANLEY: Oh. 872 00:31:09,468 --> 00:31:12,038 Okay, look, I understand you want to protect this guy. 873 00:31:12,071 --> 00:31:13,439 Just tell me his name. 874 00:31:13,472 --> 00:31:16,142 I can't-- not just to protect him, but to protect you. 875 00:31:16,175 --> 00:31:19,011 Whoa, whoa, now, Lavon Hayes does not need protecting. 876 00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:20,913 I know how much you love me. 877 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,124 There is no reason for you to be here, okay? 878 00:31:32,158 --> 00:31:33,392 You hate dinner parties. 879 00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:35,194 And this is not even your tie! 880 00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,462 Zoe thinks we're faking the relationship. 881 00:31:36,495 --> 00:31:38,364 We are faking the relationship! 882 00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:41,667 Well, I don't want her to know that. 883 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:46,405 Wade, Carter Covington is the first truly eligible bachelor 884 00:31:46,438 --> 00:31:49,208 I have met in a really long time. 885 00:31:50,977 --> 00:31:53,212 Do you know what you're asking me to give up? 886 00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:57,249 Yeah, I do. 887 00:31:59,385 --> 00:32:02,154 Hey, have you seen Lavon? I'm thinking he didn't realize 888 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:04,390 that chapter seven is an alternate reality. 889 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:07,359 Try over by the crawfish table. 890 00:32:07,393 --> 00:32:09,161 But don't eat the crab cakes. 891 00:32:09,195 --> 00:32:11,998 They're fried in peanut oil. 892 00:32:12,031 --> 00:32:14,466 I always like to meet any woman's family I plan to date 893 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,302 just to make sure they approve of me. 894 00:32:16,335 --> 00:32:17,336 Oh, we do. 895 00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:18,504 (both chuckle) 896 00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:20,272 LEMON: Carter, I would like to introduce you 897 00:32:20,306 --> 00:32:21,473 to someone. 898 00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:24,310 Um, this is my boyfriend Wade. 899 00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:26,312 Oh, no. 900 00:32:26,345 --> 00:32:28,214 WADE: We, uh... we run the Rammer Jammer together. 901 00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:29,448 Yes, no one would ever predict 902 00:32:29,481 --> 00:32:31,050 that we would fall in love, 903 00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:33,519 but you stare at someone for 14 hours a day, and... 904 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:34,520 WADE: Especially someone as tasty 905 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,122 as this little nugget. Come on. 906 00:32:36,155 --> 00:32:37,123 Crazy things happen. 907 00:32:37,156 --> 00:32:38,357 Catfish cake? 908 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:45,131 So, how did you two finally get together? 909 00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:47,133 Well... Well... 910 00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:50,369 ...I was waiting on table six. 911 00:32:50,402 --> 00:32:52,738 And we still argue whether it was buffalo wings 912 00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:54,540 or jalapeño poppers. Jalapeño poppers. 913 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,143 Catfish cake! 914 00:32:57,176 --> 00:32:59,011 No, it was definitely not catfish cakes. 915 00:32:59,045 --> 00:33:00,012 (coughing) 916 00:33:00,046 --> 00:33:00,946 You okay? 917 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,249 The catfish cakes are fried in peanut oil! 918 00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:04,516 (wheezing) Hey! It's fried in peanut oil! 919 00:33:04,550 --> 00:33:05,517 He's allergic! 920 00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:07,419 Get his EpiPen out of my purse! 921 00:33:07,453 --> 00:33:09,455 (coughs, wheezes) Okay. 922 00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:22,234 Your heart's stopped racing. 923 00:33:22,268 --> 00:33:23,435 How are you feeling? 924 00:33:23,469 --> 00:33:24,303 Well, the good news is 925 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:26,272 I don't feel the fire ant bites anymore. 926 00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:29,175 Joel, I am so sorry. 927 00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:30,142 I'm the worst girlfriend in the world. 928 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:33,045 I tried to warn you about the catfish cakes, 929 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,513 and then you weren't there, and... 930 00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:36,315 I got distracted... 931 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:38,284 You remember that guy Wade, right? 932 00:33:38,317 --> 00:33:40,186 Paul Bunyan? Yeah, he's hard to forget. 933 00:33:40,219 --> 00:33:42,521 Well, I think he's faking his relationship with Lemon. 934 00:33:42,554 --> 00:33:45,257 And it's driving me crazy that I can't prove it. 935 00:33:45,291 --> 00:33:48,194 So, why would Wade be faking a relationship? 936 00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:51,797 Maybe he freaked out because I reappeared, 937 00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:53,799 awesome boyfriend in tow. 938 00:33:53,832 --> 00:33:55,501 Or-or maybe he's just messing 939 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,802 with my head. 940 00:33:56,835 --> 00:33:58,804 Regardless, I fell into his trap, 941 00:33:58,837 --> 00:34:00,606 and I am so, so sorry. 942 00:34:00,639 --> 00:34:03,142 Well... 943 00:34:03,175 --> 00:34:05,377 you're not the one faking a relationship. 944 00:34:06,845 --> 00:34:08,114 That's true. 945 00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:09,181 You behaved like anyone 946 00:34:09,215 --> 00:34:11,850 who found their ex-boyfriend dating their archenemy. 947 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,320 Also true. 948 00:34:14,353 --> 00:34:16,322 I'm a much better girlfriend than I thought. 949 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:17,589 Now, now, now... 950 00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:20,559 let's not get ahead of ourselves here. 951 00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:24,463 But the writer in me 952 00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:27,233 needs to know if they really are faking. 953 00:34:27,266 --> 00:34:28,567 So... 954 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,202 give me the details, let's figure this out. 955 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:32,438 Um... 956 00:34:32,471 --> 00:34:34,273 when did you first hear they were dating? 957 00:34:36,442 --> 00:34:38,844 It's just such a shame you turned up 958 00:34:38,877 --> 00:34:40,646 right after Lemon got together with Wade. 959 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,514 I mean, timing, huh? 960 00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:43,549 Crickett! 961 00:34:45,184 --> 00:34:46,185 Excuse me. 962 00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:52,224 Carter... listen. 963 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:54,260 Your opinion of me matters, so 964 00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:56,462 I have a confession to make. 965 00:34:56,495 --> 00:34:57,696 In confidence. 966 00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:01,867 Wade and I are faking our relationship. 967 00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:03,469 What? 968 00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:04,603 Why? 969 00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:07,273 See, he needs to triumph over Zoe Hart, 970 00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,275 and if you knew Zoe Hart, you would understand. 971 00:35:09,308 --> 00:35:11,877 Now, I don't normally participate in such antics, 972 00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:13,712 but Wade is a friend. 973 00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,483 And he's sick. 974 00:35:18,650 --> 00:35:20,886 It's terminal. 975 00:35:20,919 --> 00:35:22,488 That's tragic. 976 00:35:22,521 --> 00:35:24,256 It is. 977 00:35:25,924 --> 00:35:27,359 You should know that my family's 978 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,495 had its share of scandal. 979 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,630 We can't withstand any more. 980 00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:34,633 So I have to be sure that any woman I date 981 00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:36,402 has an unblemished record. 982 00:35:36,435 --> 00:35:38,604 Any woman you date? 983 00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:40,506 Well... 984 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,908 I assure you, Mr. Covington, 985 00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:46,378 there are no more skeletons in my closet. 986 00:35:46,412 --> 00:35:47,713 And no one knew about the relationship 987 00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:49,348 until you came to town? 988 00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,250 No. Her best friend didn't even know until yesterday. 989 00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:52,251 All right. 990 00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:53,585 They're totally faking it. 991 00:35:53,619 --> 00:35:54,720 Right? 992 00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:56,322 You should write detective novels. 993 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:57,923 Wade's motive is clear. 994 00:35:57,956 --> 00:35:59,925 But Lemon's, we're not gonna know hers 995 00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:02,628 until we unmask her secret lover. 996 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,930 (giggles) 997 00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:06,932 Will it hold? 998 00:36:06,965 --> 00:36:08,500 I need, like, ten minutes. 999 00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:10,569 Oh, thank goodness! 1000 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,439 Nothing kills a dinner party 1001 00:36:13,472 --> 00:36:16,342 like the guest of honor, you know, being killed. 1002 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:18,444 Well, I had excellent medical attention. 1003 00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:22,248 Let's eat! 1004 00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:23,549 (guests cheering) 1005 00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:25,417 Yeah! (whoops) 1006 00:36:25,451 --> 00:36:27,286 Come on, there you go! 1007 00:36:27,319 --> 00:36:28,754 All right! 1008 00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:31,557 There it goes! 1009 00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:32,958 Okay! 1010 00:36:32,991 --> 00:36:35,427 (guests clapping, whooping) 1011 00:36:35,461 --> 00:36:37,529 Hey, hey, hey, wh-what are you doing here? 1012 00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:39,731 Well, I brought you some apology beers. 1013 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:40,732 But you weren't home, 1014 00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:42,434 so I drank 'em while I was waiting. 1015 00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,336 N-No need for apology. 1016 00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:45,737 MEATBALL: And then I looked over here and saw the lights 1017 00:36:45,771 --> 00:36:48,440 and thought maybe you came to the party. 1018 00:36:48,474 --> 00:36:49,641 And I was hungry. 1019 00:36:49,675 --> 00:36:50,709 Look, wh-why don't we just 1020 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,311 walk you back over to my place? 1021 00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:53,345 What do you say? No! 1022 00:36:53,379 --> 00:36:55,281 I have to tell you something. 1023 00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:57,283 Lemon is cheating on you. 1024 00:36:57,316 --> 00:36:58,417 No. No, I mean... 1025 00:36:59,618 --> 00:37:00,719 What a joker, right? This guy. 1026 00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:01,987 Meatball? (laughs) 1027 00:37:02,020 --> 00:37:03,355 Why don't we talk about this later? 1028 00:37:03,389 --> 00:37:04,590 Lemon, who is this? 1029 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:05,991 Who are you? 1030 00:37:06,024 --> 00:37:08,427 Oh, well, he is an upstanding young man 1031 00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,729 who happens to be here with my daughter. 1032 00:37:10,762 --> 00:37:12,398 Carter Covington, of the Birmingham Covingtons. 1033 00:37:15,701 --> 00:37:17,603 Well, I am Meatball. 1034 00:37:17,636 --> 00:37:19,338 No last name required. 1035 00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:21,473 Like Cher and Jesus. 1036 00:37:21,507 --> 00:37:24,676 And you may want to know that your date 1037 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:29,748 has been recently intimate with not only Wade, 1038 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,618 but also with a special certain someone 1039 00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:34,753 I like to call myself. 1040 00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:36,422 (guests gasping) 1041 00:37:36,455 --> 00:37:38,624 (guests murmuring quietly) 1042 00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:41,460 No one ever suspects the guy named Meatball. 1043 00:37:42,528 --> 00:37:44,029 WADE: Thank you. 1044 00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:46,298 Yeah, I'm going to the bar. 1045 00:37:46,332 --> 00:37:48,834 If he's Lemon's secret lover, then who is Wade? 1046 00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:50,068 Her beard! 1047 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,370 Crawfish, anyone? 1048 00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,071 I want some. 1049 00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:54,806 What's a beard? 1050 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:06,685 (sighs heavily) 1051 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,659 You know, you shouldn't drink alone. 1052 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:15,527 People will judge. 1053 00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:24,403 You're a good friend, Lemon. 1054 00:38:24,436 --> 00:38:27,539 Your, uh, gentleman caller take off? 1055 00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:30,409 (sighs) 1056 00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:33,645 Frankly, I think my father is taking it worse than I am. 1057 00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:35,681 It's Carter's loss. 1058 00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:39,418 "Of the Birmingham Covingtons." 1059 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:40,919 (chuckling): I mean, come on. 1060 00:38:47,593 --> 00:38:49,428 George, we need to talk. 1061 00:38:49,461 --> 00:38:51,597 Yes, of course we do. 1062 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:54,099 We need a favor. 1063 00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:55,567 A favor? 1064 00:38:55,601 --> 00:38:56,402 See, I've been forever trying 1065 00:38:56,435 --> 00:38:58,604 to convince Lynly to go to law school. 1066 00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,105 LYNLY: And I've just realized 1067 00:39:00,138 --> 00:39:01,407 it's a great idea. 1068 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,808 But I need to study for my LSATs. 1069 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:05,577 So I was hoping you would tutor her. 1070 00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:06,878 Please? 1071 00:39:10,482 --> 00:39:12,418 Uh, yeah. Sure. 1072 00:39:12,451 --> 00:39:13,485 Of course, I'd... 1073 00:39:13,519 --> 00:39:15,654 I'll see you soon, then. 1074 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:17,723 Can't wait. 1075 00:39:20,492 --> 00:39:21,827 She's a terrible student. 1076 00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:23,795 You're gonna have your work cut out for you. 1077 00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:25,831 Thanks. 1078 00:39:27,799 --> 00:39:29,801 Yeah. 1079 00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:31,503 No problem. 1080 00:39:41,647 --> 00:39:43,849 Hey. 1081 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,152 (clears throat) 1082 00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:49,921 So, here's the thing. 1083 00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:53,759 Seeing you with someone else kind of freaks me out. 1084 00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:56,662 More than I thought it would. 1085 00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:59,565 And I'm guessing that it's not fun for you 1086 00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:01,533 to see me with Joel, either. 1087 00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:04,770 (Zoe sighs) 1088 00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:07,639 You're not saying anything? 1089 00:40:07,673 --> 00:40:08,907 Okay. 1090 00:40:08,940 --> 00:40:11,677 Fine. 1091 00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:14,680 But we need to figure out a way to coexist. 1092 00:40:14,713 --> 00:40:17,215 Be okay with each other moving on. 1093 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:20,819 Because it's a really small town. 1094 00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:30,796 Got a big-ass mosquito on your neck. 1095 00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:32,831 What? 1096 00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:33,732 Ow! 1097 00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,801 Where? Nah, you... you missed him. 1098 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:37,636 You should probably try again. Harder. 1099 00:40:37,669 --> 00:40:39,471 Where is it? Did I get it? 1100 00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:41,607 Yeah, uh... no. Where is it? 1101 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:42,941 Actually, now... now it's two. 1102 00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:45,644 Oh. 1103 00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:46,812 I hate you. 1104 00:40:46,845 --> 00:40:48,747 (laughs) 1105 00:40:55,621 --> 00:40:58,924 Three questions: One, Meatball? 1106 00:40:58,957 --> 00:41:00,559 Two, seriously? 1107 00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:03,729 And three, is Crickett's husband gay or just Southern? 1108 00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:07,533 And you've just played BlueBell's favorite game. 1109 00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:10,235 I love how great you're being about everything. 1110 00:41:10,268 --> 00:41:12,971 I mean, after a day of fire ants, 1111 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:14,973 anaphylactic shock and Tom Long, 1112 00:41:15,006 --> 00:41:16,842 I was sure you were gonna be on 1113 00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:18,544 the first flight back to New York. 1114 00:41:18,577 --> 00:41:19,511 Well, to be honest with you, 1115 00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:21,647 that's all I could think about this morning. 1116 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,014 I just... I get so much 1117 00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:24,983 creative energy from the city, you know? 1118 00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:27,753 There's so much life there, and so much drama and craziness, 1119 00:41:27,786 --> 00:41:29,821 and I was afraid I was throwing all that away. 1120 00:41:29,855 --> 00:41:31,557 But BlueBell... 1121 00:41:31,590 --> 00:41:33,058 I mean... 1122 00:41:33,091 --> 00:41:36,562 two people named after foods were secretly doing it. 1123 00:41:36,595 --> 00:41:37,462 (laughs) 1124 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:40,866 Technically, Lemon is named after a flower. 1125 00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:43,001 Wow, also fascinating. 1126 00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:44,770 (sighs) 1127 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:45,771 (sighs) 1128 00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:48,574 So... 1129 00:41:48,607 --> 00:41:51,977 any other exes you want to tell me about? 1130 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,679 Why did that George Tucker guy 1131 00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:54,880 refuse to shake my hand? 1132 00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:56,682 There's some stuff 1133 00:41:56,715 --> 00:41:58,584 that we should just save for later. (chuckles) 1134 00:41:58,617 --> 00:42:00,619 Captioning sponsored by FORD 1135 00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:01,920 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org