1 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,237 I took the job. And right to the point. 2 00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:05,206 I told them I couldn't start till the first of the year, 3 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,608 thinking I could spend that time here, see if it works. 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,510 And if it doesn't, you take the job in Dallas. 5 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,245 ANNABETH: Ruby doesn't get to swoop in and take him. 6 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,580 We were in love once. 7 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,615 And Lord help me, I still think I am. 8 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,217 Just so everything's out on the table, I called Tansy. 9 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,119 I don't see her as a placeholder. 10 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,687 If that's how you think Zoe sees you, 11 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,588 then you should talk to her. 12 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,124 Hey, I was actually hoping we could talk. 13 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,692 Talk? We don't talk. 14 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,495 Are you gonna come over later? 15 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,563 I-I... (clears throat) I don't think so. 16 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,380 Hey, stranger. 17 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,282 Noticed you didn't 18 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,184 come by last night. Yeah, I've been, 19 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:53,087 uh, working pretty late. Wow. 20 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:56,157 You've been pulling double shifts, like, all week. 21 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,758 Saving up to buy a two-wheeler? 22 00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,828 Been short-staffed at the Rammer Jammer. Yeah? 23 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,830 At the office, too. 24 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,698 We still haven't hired a receptionist. 25 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,301 And worse, Brick is making the coffee, 26 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,669 and refuses to read the directions, 27 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:11,139 so he's probably making more patients sick 28 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,773 than came in sick. 29 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,243 Okay. 30 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,178 So... later? 31 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,547 Yeah, I don't know. 32 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,849 Double shift, right. 33 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,753 I'll see you. 34 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,225 (hammer banging) 35 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,665 Wanda, the election's far from over. 36 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,868 I mean, can't you just take those posters down? I was 37 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,171 going to, but now that they're a real-life couple, 38 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,572 doesn't it just make you smile? 39 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,474 I like to imagine them talking up there. 40 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,742 (deep voice): "Hey, Ruby." 41 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,910 (higher voice): "Morning, Lavon." 42 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,212 (deep voice): "How'd you sleep?" 43 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:53,781 Is that weird? 44 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,616 Not at all. 45 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,684 (giggles) 46 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,886 (sighs) DASH: Lemon Breeland. 47 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:03,491 (laughs) Darling, I, um... I have here 48 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,493 a list of all the bachelors 49 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,860 who are entering picnic baskets 50 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,430 in tomorrow's charity bachelor blind auction. 51 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,632 You know, for the Shakespeare Society? Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,634 And, well, I noticed that your father isn't on it. 53 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,337 Oh, Dash, you know Daddy never enters that. 54 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,705 Well, I do. 55 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,473 But, you see, this year's 56 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,310 production of Twelfth Night hangs in the balance. 57 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,644 I know, he's just, you know, 58 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,479 getting over his break-up with Emily. 59 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:28,749 Still? Good lord, it's not like she's Chita Rivera. 60 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:29,717 Listen, Dash, 61 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,453 we all heal from heartbreak in our own way. 62 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,755 And maybe us Breelands just... 63 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,691 take more time. Look, Lemon, 64 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,794 your father means a great deal of cash to me, 65 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,297 so he might as well just push aside this heartbreak 66 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,433 and jump back into the game. 67 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:48,502 Because frankly, I refuse to do 68 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:51,171 Twelfth Night again in choir robes. 69 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,447 Hey, you got a few? 70 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,814 Aah, aah, aah! 71 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,650 Oh, I'm so sorry. I should've knocked. 72 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,818 No, that's okay, I use coffee 73 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,421 to wake up, and now I'm up, so... 74 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,523 No, um, I was wondering if... Did you get my message? 75 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:10,558 I called... Oh, 76 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,892 I'm sorry I didn't call back. 77 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,395 I didn't realize you were... Um... 78 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,296 Ladies first. 79 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,831 Oh, okay, um... Please. 80 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,334 Okay. 81 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,636 How do I get custody of Dolly Parton? 82 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:26,574 Uh... well... (laughs) 83 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,775 first off, as an officer 84 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,578 of the court, I feel like I should stop you... Oh, uh, 85 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,945 Dolly Parton was my dog. 86 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,247 I should have said that. 87 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,648 (laughing): Yeah. 88 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,849 Yeah, probably. Well, 89 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,851 my ex-boyfriend Colt-- you remember, he tried to shoot you 90 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,920 with a crossbow and then you shot yourself in the leg? 91 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,889 Yeah, the safety... the safety was off, 92 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,658 but yes, I do remember Colt. Well, we had 93 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:49,563 this dog, Dolly Parton, that I love with all my heart. 94 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,499 And Colt got Dolly Parton 95 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,966 in the breakup because I went to live with Mama, 96 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,503 who claims she's allergic to dogs. 97 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,670 And Colt went to work on the oil rig, 98 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,872 and now his evil ex-girlfriend, Evelyn, 99 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,409 has Dolly Parton, and Dolly Parton hates Evelyn 100 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,744 because she makes her wear this stupid tutu and never takes her 101 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,513 to the dog beach, and I saw them yesterday 102 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,481 and Dolly Parton is fat, and I want to know 103 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,849 how to get her back. 104 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,820 Okay, now I'm done. 105 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,288 (laughs) 106 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,489 Well, 107 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,024 I would love to help you, 108 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,993 and I will do some looking for you, but without 109 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:20,894 any type of legal agreement, 110 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,863 it might be a little bit of a long shot. 111 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,565 I just wanted to tell you that, I mean, 112 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,033 it might be one of those cases where 113 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,302 possession is nine-tenths of the law. 114 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,571 What's the other tenth-- lawyer's cut? 115 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,041 I'm sorry-- that was rude, and 116 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:37,378 here you are, nice enough to give me a free consultation. 117 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,746 Right? 118 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,514 Yeah, for you, any time. 119 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,450 (laughing): Okay. But, by the way, 120 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,851 uh, since you're here, 121 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,787 and I've been so unhelpful with your predicament, 122 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,824 I was hoping that you might be able to help me out with mine. 123 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,693 Well, sure, what is it? Well, 124 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,662 Dash made me promise to enter a basket 125 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,365 in tomorrow's bachelor auction, but to be 126 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,567 honest with you, there is... 127 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,904 only one girl that I want to have a date with. 128 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,840 And... you want to know 129 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,442 what to put in the basket so this girl 130 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,810 will bid on you-- I get it. 131 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,512 Okay, um, what do you have so far? 132 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,414 Actually, Tansy, I... Wait, um, no, no, no. 133 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,949 Don't tell me, let me guess. Um... (clears throat) 134 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,918 ...takeout lunch for two from Fancie's: 135 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,753 glazed chicken, 136 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,555 potato salad, 137 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,023 two slices of maple pie, 138 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:26,760 and... linen napkins. 139 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,430 Mm, nah... 140 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,698 Okay, yeah, how'd you know? 141 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,700 Well, it doesn't take a psychic. 142 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,602 You're, you know, kind of predictable. 143 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,572 Oh, in a good way. 144 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:41,108 You're just so... George Tucker, you know? 145 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:45,112 And the kind of girl you like is gonna love your basket. 146 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,647 Maybe just toss in some cupcakes, 147 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,582 spice it up-- good luck. 148 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,454 And thank you. 149 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,860 RUBY: And look at the view-- you can see all of downtown Dallas. 150 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:03,130 Oh, and the building has a full gym, a swimming pool 151 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,966 and a spa. (giggles) 152 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,102 Oh, I can't wait for you to come see it, you're gonna love it. 153 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,908 You know what? (clears throat) 154 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,076 Enough apartment talk. 155 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:20,581 Tomorrow is the bachelor auction, and I plan to win you, 156 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,882 Mr. Mayor, as my date. 157 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,484 So, come on, spill it. 158 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,652 What's in the basket? 159 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,487 I can't tell you that. (groans) 160 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,623 Fine, if you want to be a Goody Two-Shoes about it. Ah-ah-ah. 161 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,159 I can't tell you what's in my basket. 162 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,162 But I can tell you I left it open... Oh. 163 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,164 in the study. Ooh. 164 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:40,568 In case I just happen to wander in and take a peek? 165 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,503 Which I will, because 166 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:46,907 I plan to spend every second I have left here with you. 167 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,442 Hmm. 168 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,443 (door opens) 169 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,410 Okay, 170 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:53,681 day six of Wade avoiding sex with me-- discuss. 171 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,651 Whoa, whoa! 172 00:06:57,685 --> 00:07:00,488 Look how late I am for something. 173 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,055 Hey, maybe you two 174 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,458 can talk about it, huh? RUBY: Oh. 175 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,893 Seeing as you both are here. 176 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,229 Good at girl talk. (laughs) 177 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,532 Okay, look, I know you've had your differences, 178 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,668 but please talk to her. 179 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,237 Because if Zoe Hart is left alone in her own head, 180 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,207 Lord knows what calamities might ensue. 181 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:20,974 Hey! 182 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,477 Yeah, okay. 183 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,182 (laughs) 184 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:29,983 (quiet laugh) 185 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,823 Okay, I give in. So, this is just 186 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,791 too juicy to not discuss. 187 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,227 Yep. Okay, so Wade turning down sex? I mean, 188 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,495 you check his pulse? 189 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,295 I know, right? 190 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,097 He has an all-access pass to ZoeLand. 191 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,699 He doesn't have to wait in any lines. 192 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,968 And then all of a sudden, he just... 193 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,771 What? 194 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,105 Oh, my God. 195 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,974 Wade is bored. 196 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,743 No! What, Wade? 197 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,978 Bored of ZoeLand? No. Yeah, it... 198 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,012 it's true. 199 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,814 He's already seen my light parade. 200 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,083 Spun my teacups, ridden my Space Mountain. 201 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,553 Now he's on to the next amusement park. 202 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,220 I'm sorry. 203 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:10,591 It's okay. You know, it was bound to happen. 204 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,892 Yeah. 205 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,995 Wait, you know what? 206 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,097 If it helps, you... 207 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,299 you always have a front-of-the-line pass 208 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,035 for ice cream, with me. 209 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,605 Thanks, Ruby. I appreciate that. 210 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,740 Okay. 211 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,276 Bye. 212 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,711 (sighs) 213 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,885 Curling? 214 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,286 Seriously? 215 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,855 Anything played at a professional level 216 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,724 can be compelling. 217 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,259 Okay, Daddy, I know that you are still hurting over Emily, 218 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,828 but watching a bunch of Canadians 219 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,597 chase after a weird thingy over ice 220 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,732 with a bunch of brooms is not the answer. 221 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,901 That weird "thingy" is called a stone... 222 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,168 I don't care. 223 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,071 Listen, what I meant was, 224 00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,140 is that sometimes in order to heal 225 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,676 you have to just get back out there 226 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,311 and push that old heartbreak aside. 227 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,946 Yeah, like a curling stone. 228 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,648 Okay, you need to turn that thing off. 229 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,582 Right now. 230 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,919 Sweetie... 231 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,922 Daddy, we are Breelands, okay? 232 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,790 And Breelands do not give up. 233 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:19,059 Which means you, Brick Breeland, 234 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,328 hottest commodity in the over-40 category, 235 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,631 are going to enter a basket 236 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,332 in tomorrow's bachelor auction. 237 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,700 And I... 238 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,969 am going to bid on one. (laughs) 239 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,638 Do we have a deal? 240 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,342 Mwah! 241 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,110 * 242 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,815 Hey-o, anyone home? W... 243 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,784 Wow, I was just coming over to talk to you. 244 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,719 Well, I-I saved you the commute. (laughs) 245 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:48,088 'Cause the thing is, uh... 246 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,892 well... you know that expression, "Evolve or die"? 247 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,827 Okay, look, I know what you're going to say... 248 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:54,928 I-I know I've been acting 249 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,329 kind of weird recently, all right? 250 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:59,032 And-and I've been... I've been thinking a lot... 251 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,234 Look, I appreciate you trying to spell it out for me... 252 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,036 I think we should go on a real date. 253 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,905 A real huh? 254 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,240 I-I know there's a whole, like, Olympic gymnastics routine 255 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,441 going in your head right now, 256 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,911 and you're thinking you should probably consult with Lavon 257 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,880 and half the town of BlueBell and... 258 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,215 I don't know, the pope or whatever... 259 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,250 Jews don't really have a pope. Just don't talk. 260 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,819 Point is, 261 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,755 if you want to go on a date with me, just... 262 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,824 bid on my basket at the auction tomorrow. 263 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:26,660 I figure it's a perfect way to go on a first date, 264 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,228 pressure-free. 265 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,398 You can just look at it as an opportunity to, uh... 266 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,800 test-drive. 267 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,002 You know, kick the tires, rev the engine, 268 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,004 take 'er for a spin. 269 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,305 Yeah. 270 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,010 Come to the auction tomorrow, Doc. 271 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,712 * 272 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,754 (car horn honks) 273 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,889 (seagulls calling) 274 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,925 (birds singing) 275 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,970 (clears throat) Hey, Wade. 276 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,439 Hey, man, you got a second? 277 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,374 Tucker, haven't seen you in a while. 278 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,309 How goes things with Tansy? 279 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,246 Well, actually, about that, 280 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,181 I don't know. 281 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,916 But I'm hoping 282 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,351 that she'll bid on my basket today. 283 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,987 So I was hoping that you might be able to, uh, 284 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,488 I don't know, kind of tell me 285 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,290 the kind of things that she likes? 286 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,492 Well, I can, but, uh, 287 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,462 I don't think they're very "George Tucker." 288 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:39,900 Okay, how about we just pretend it's opposite day? 289 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,468 All right. 290 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,305 Wait, does that mean it's not opposite day? 291 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,506 Just start talking. 292 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,842 Things were going so well. 293 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,410 If it isn't broken, why fix it? 294 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,379 So it's not broken? 295 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,181 Oh, no, it is. 296 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,517 So you're gonna fix it. Apparently, I have to. 297 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,319 "Evolve or die." 298 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,487 Says who? 299 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,389 Crocodiles have evolved hardly at all, 300 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,291 and crocodiles are awesome. 301 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,761 Why can't some things just stay the same? 302 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,963 'Cause I don't want this wart anymore. 303 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,232 Brick? 304 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,067 Hypothetically speaking, 305 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,369 if two people are completely different 306 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,838 and never do anything but fight, 307 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,473 is there possible chance at a romantic future? 308 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:23,844 Dr. Hart, are you asking me out? 309 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,913 No. 310 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,849 (bell dinging) 311 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,851 DASH: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, 312 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,352 the auction is about to begin. 313 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,521 Will all the bachelors please report 314 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,189 to the bachelor corral? 315 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,925 Sweetie pie, I don't know about this. 316 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,993 I don't like the idea of being bid on like cattle. 317 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,261 Oh, come on. 318 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,295 It'll be fun, 319 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,932 and we are opening ourselves up to opportunities. 320 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,433 Remember? 321 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,003 Moo. 322 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,039 (laughs) 323 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,473 Lemon. 324 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,042 Walt. 325 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,844 What a surprise. 326 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,112 I heard about the fund-raiser, thought I'd do my part. 327 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,447 Oh, you want to help the arts? 328 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,215 No, I want to help me. 329 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,018 Listen, that night we met in Mobile, 330 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,187 I know the timing might not have been right, 331 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,289 but everything else was... 332 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,527 Anyway, I just thought this might be a chance to try again. 333 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,229 You planning to bid 334 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,564 on a basket? 335 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,567 Well, as a matter of fact, I am. 336 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,569 Well, I don't want to ruin the fun, 337 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,138 but if you like hazelnut truffles, 338 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:28,008 you can bid on mine. 339 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,243 Or if you like orthodontists. 340 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,212 Either or. 341 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,553 Oh, Tansy. 342 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,355 Tansy, hey. 343 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,057 I just wanted to let you know that, uh, 344 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,493 George Tucker is not who you think he is. 345 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,205 Hey, Lavon, you seen Zoe around? 346 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,907 No. 347 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,474 No, she called me a few times today, 348 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,642 but I ain't spoken to her. 349 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,444 You need something? 350 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,546 No, no. I'm good. 351 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,481 (gavel bangs) 352 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,918 Ladies, it is now time to open up 353 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,486 your hearts and your pocketbooks 354 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,322 as we begin the bidding with picnic basket 355 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,157 number one. 356 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,225 That one's mine. 357 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,927 Now, a date 358 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,228 with this charming BlueBell beau 359 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,464 comes with two homemade bologna sandwiches. 360 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,333 Ten dollars right here. 361 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,369 Anyone want to bid against me, bring it on. 362 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,471 I will kick your ass. 363 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,173 And sold 364 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,641 to Miss Wanda Lewis. 365 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,043 (screams) 366 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,247 Okay. 367 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,183 Next is picnic basket number two. 368 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,584 Now, a date with this bachelor 369 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,486 boasts a delectable lunch 370 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,989 of homemade crab cakes, fresh corn salad, 371 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,258 and cherry crumble pie. 372 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,260 Ten dollars. 373 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,195 Oh, you have got to be kidding me. 374 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,130 A very enthusiastic ten dollars. 375 00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,631 Do I hear $15? 376 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,134 George, isn't that that girl that you dated 377 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,535 after you broke up with Lemon? 378 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,104 Yep. 379 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,272 If you like shopping, you're in luck. 380 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,273 Going twice. 381 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,541 Sold for $30. 382 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,277 A date with BlueBell's very own... 383 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,013 Dr. Brick Breeland. 384 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,315 All right, ladies, 385 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,716 give it up for basket number three. 386 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,518 This bachelor seems to have... 387 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,087 Ruby! 388 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,255 Ruby, I've been trying to reach you all day. 389 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,323 Oh, I'm sorry. 390 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,292 I've been in escrow hell on my apartment in Dallas. 391 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,426 What's wrong? It turns out 392 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,595 that Wade isn't bored with ZoeLand. 393 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,430 He wants to go on a date. 394 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,032 That's good news, right? 395 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,967 No. He wants to go on a date, 396 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,203 which means he wants a real relationship, you know? 397 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,706 He asked me to bid on his basket and I'm freaking out. 398 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,441 Okay, listen, Zoe, this is the natural progression 399 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,442 of relationships. 400 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,576 They move forward. 401 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,978 Yes, I evolve. 402 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,279 And he wants to evolve 403 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,981 with you; it's nice. 404 00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,683 No, because we cannot evolve normally. 405 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,352 We're like those freaky 406 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,988 six-legged frogs that they find in polluted waters. 407 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,123 Why? 408 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,558 Because what would a date between us even look like? 409 00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,759 What would we talk about? 410 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,228 I mean, look at his stupid basket. 411 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,762 What kind of guy tries to woo a woman 412 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,631 with a beer crate? Oh, no, no, no. 413 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,766 Lavon's basket. 414 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,768 I forgot to look and see what's in it. 415 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,703 Stupid Wade ruins everything. You know, no. 416 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:11,638 We're done with you, okay? 417 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,073 Right now you need to find out 418 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,507 which basket is Lavon's, come on. 419 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,745 Now, this bachelor would love to wine and dine you 420 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,647 with taquitos 421 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,483 from Jimmy Rae's Mexican Stand in Mobile, 422 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,253 cherry strudel, and a... 423 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:29,622 and a blow dryer. 424 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,425 Why would you need a blow dryer on a picnic? 425 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,560 Wait, do I need a blow dryer? 426 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:37,464 What kind of man would put Mexican food with strudel? 427 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,432 I don't know, 428 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,633 but I intend to find out. 429 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,069 Ten dollars! 430 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,236 I hear ten dollars. 431 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,771 Do I hear $15? 432 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:45,772 $15. 433 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,107 $15. 434 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:47,774 $30. 435 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,442 $30, a woman who knows 436 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,044 exactly what she wants. 437 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,712 $30, going once, 438 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,181 going twice, 439 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,548 sold to Miss Tansy Truitt. 440 00:16:58,285 --> 00:16:59,586 For $30, 441 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,688 a date with Mr. George Tucker. 442 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,264 Thank you, Lemon. 443 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,799 I just won a date with a girl who can't wait 444 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,834 to show me the app she uses to organize her closet. 445 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,436 I'm sorry, Daddy, 446 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,105 but just try and think of her as practice 447 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,273 for a future actual date, and then... and remember 448 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,508 to use really small words. 449 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,811 See, these are all my strappy sandals, 450 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,313 and these are my boots. 451 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,182 Oh. Come on, I'll help you 452 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,750 download one of these puppies for yourself. 453 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:31,818 Oh. 454 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,520 Goody goody. 455 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,124 And without further ado, on to picnic basket 456 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,258 number five, 457 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,660 with a bottle of Merlot, 458 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,162 a pasta salad, 459 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,231 and hazelnut truffles. 460 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,698 Ten dollars. 461 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,633 I have ten dollars. 462 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,268 Do I hear $15? 463 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,171 I had hazelnut truffles in my basket, too. 464 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,572 Whose basket is that? 465 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:53,706 Mine. 466 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,143 Where's Ruby? 467 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,179 Okay, he knows I love hazelnut truffles. 468 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,148 Ooh, look, this must be the basket. 469 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,715 Look. Okay, what if someone else 470 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,816 has hazelnut truffles in their basket? 471 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,552 You know, they were a special at the bakery, so... 472 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,220 I know this is gonna be the one, okay? 473 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,522 I'm just, I'm going with it, all right? 474 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,723 WOMAN: $30! 475 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,159 DASH: Do I hear $35? 476 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,293 $35? 477 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,461 $35, $35. 478 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,462 $35. 479 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,629 $35. 480 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,631 Going once. 481 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:19,899 $35, going twice. 482 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,903 Sold to the lovely Miss Lemon Breeland, 483 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,473 a picnic date with, uh... 484 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,541 oh, Mayor Lavon Hayes. 485 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,245 Oh, crap. 486 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,313 Lemon? 487 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,348 Lavon? 488 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,684 What just happened? 489 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,352 DASH: All right. 490 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,887 All right. 491 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,655 Another happy couple. 492 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,693 Now, moving on to basket number six. 493 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,829 And a very creative fella, 494 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,364 as we can see. 495 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,466 That's Wade's basket. 496 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,801 I got to give Wade credit 497 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,636 for upgrading from a burlap sack. 498 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:57,704 Ten dollars! 499 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,738 DASH: Ten dollars 500 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,173 for the lovely Miss Carrie Swain. 501 00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:01,474 Do I hear... 502 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:05,178 $15! Sorry, but George Tucker ended up out of my price range. 503 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:07,180 Well, then, may the best woman win. 504 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,281 20 bucks! 505 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,649 Ruby, I don't know what to do. 506 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,518 Look, I got my own mess to clean up, okay? 507 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,820 But the way I see it, you only have two options. 508 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:14,754 You're right. What are they? 509 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,389 Bid on Wade's basket and keep seeing him, 510 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,358 or don't bid and you two are through. 511 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,426 $25. 512 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,593 $25. 513 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,695 Magnolia Breeland, 514 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,331 as if I don't have my own problems. 515 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,932 Daddy strictly forbade you from bidding on a date. 516 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:26,966 You are too young. 517 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,401 $30! 518 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:29,436 DASH: $30. 519 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,603 $35. 520 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,572 I gave you that money to buy school shoes, 521 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,806 not to buy Wade Kinsella. 522 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,308 $35 going once. 523 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,810 Evolve or die. 524 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,846 $35 going twice. 525 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:40,947 And Wade Kinsella's bas... 526 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,549 $40! ...is sold 527 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,284 to Miss Magnolia Breeland. 528 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,185 (applause) 529 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,657 (sighs) 530 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,834 Wade, I am so sorry. 531 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,403 I was just about to bid 532 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,405 on your basket, I swear. 533 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:06,906 You know what, when I asked you out, 534 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,276 I pictured several outcomes, none of which 535 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,611 was my going out on a date with Magnolia Breeland. 536 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,612 I know, look, 537 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,248 how about we go on a date after your picnic? 538 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,517 I mean, Magnolia must have a curfew, right? 539 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:18,885 I'm busy later, all right? 540 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,687 All right, you know what, forget Magnolia. 541 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,323 This picnic is the date that you asked me on, 542 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,991 and it's the one we're going on. 543 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,559 So just wait. 544 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,761 (sighs) 545 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,700 George Tucker, you stacked your basket so I'd bid on it. 546 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,402 Yeah, I rigged the game. 547 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,969 I throw myself on the mercy of the court. 548 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,838 So yesterday, 549 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:42,309 the girl you wanted a date with was me? 550 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:45,011 Guess George Tucker's not as predictable as you thought, huh? 551 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,614 (giggles) 552 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,283 I don't know what happened. 553 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,618 I'm so sorry. 554 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,053 How could you forget to look at my basket at home? 555 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,589 I've just been so distracted with this whole escrow thing. 556 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,525 The Dallas apartment? 557 00:20:58,558 --> 00:20:59,592 Yeah, I should have known. 558 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,860 Lemon's a good sport. 559 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,564 Well, she's not, but I'm sure if you explain what happened, 560 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,467 she'll step aside and let us go out on our date. 561 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,801 No, it's against the rules. 562 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:12,439 As mayor, I have to set a good example and all, 563 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,906 so... 564 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,879 Okay. Of course. 565 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:23,716 Well, then, I guess I'll just see you tonight. 566 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:31,391 Uh, weird, huh? 567 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,326 What the heck? 568 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,328 Let's have a meal, huh? 569 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,496 As friends. 570 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,064 Why not? 571 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:39,932 As friends. 572 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,807 Oh, and I can't sit on the ground 573 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,377 'cause of my new titanium hip. 574 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:52,779 Yes, ma'am, you mentioned that. 575 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,846 Come on, 50 bucks 576 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,015 and I will do your chemistry homework for a month. 577 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,418 100 bucks plus geometry, and you have 578 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,820 to convince my daddy to let me have a tattoo. 579 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,021 And when the time comes, 580 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:05,358 I want birth control, no questions asked. 581 00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:06,959 Dream on. 582 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,629 Front row tickets to Taylor Swift next month, 583 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,564 I will drive you so you don't have to go with your dad. 584 00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,766 Plus, I won't tell your dad that you bid on 585 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,868 Wade's basket, which will spare you 586 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:17,637 from a month of being grounded. 587 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,540 You wait in the parking lot at Taylor Swift. 588 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:21,841 Deal. 589 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,382 So... shall we? 590 00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,921 So, like I said, 591 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,724 I-I was planning to have this picnic with Ruby. 592 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:40,026 Yes, like you said several times. 593 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,694 What is it about the silly picnic 594 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,463 that's got you all... 595 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,166 Wow. 596 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,602 So, like I said... 597 00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:53,873 What is she, like, the queen of the fairies or something? 598 00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:56,609 I mean... 599 00:22:56,643 --> 00:22:59,546 Ruby is one lucky woman. 600 00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:04,484 I mean, it's so thoughtful and romantic. 601 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:06,686 You should've seen it before I downsized. 602 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:10,557 I had this whole... gondola theme going. 603 00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:12,625 A gondola? 604 00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:15,127 With a gondolier? 605 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:16,996 Yeah. 606 00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:18,931 It was bad. (sighs) 607 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:23,736 Hey. 608 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:26,105 Hey. Sorry. 609 00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:28,007 I just had to pop into the doctor's office 610 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,476 to go to the little girl's room. 611 00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,677 No problem. 612 00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,011 Uh... after you. 613 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,514 Why, thank you. 614 00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:36,749 (clears throat) 615 00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:38,150 Look what I found in the office. 616 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:41,521 The Book of Amazing Facts and Feats. 617 00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:42,889 Yep. Wow. 618 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,992 Yeah, I use it to distract kids when I'm giving them a shot. (laughs) 619 00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,794 Uh, you planning on giving me a shot, or... 620 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,195 No. 621 00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:51,464 Okay, but listen. 622 00:23:51,498 --> 00:23:54,100 Do you know the world record for a guy walking on his hands? 623 00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:57,003 870 miles. 624 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,005 I mean, why would anyone want to do that? 625 00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:00,773 I... I don't know. 626 00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:02,174 Why would anyone 627 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:03,943 bring a book on a date? 628 00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:05,878 No reason. 629 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,814 It's a joke. 630 00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:10,082 Who needs a book? 631 00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:11,784 We can have a normal conversation, 632 00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:13,085 people do it all the time. 633 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,220 I mean... it's just talking, right? 634 00:24:14,253 --> 00:24:16,556 I mean, they teach parrots to do it. 635 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,725 Parrots can talk. 636 00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,729 Have you heard about those six-legged frogs 637 00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,697 they sometimes find in polluted waters? 638 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,568 (clears throat) 639 00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:49,856 Mmm... 640 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:53,025 You know, I have never had this brand of cracker before. 641 00:24:53,059 --> 00:24:54,994 They're very crisp. 642 00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,100 Well, I know you like the ones with, uh, stuff in 'em. 643 00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:08,040 Well, these got, uh, cracked pepper 644 00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:09,909 and... Okay. Enough. 645 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:11,010 You know? 646 00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:13,646 We have been talking about crackers for three minutes! 647 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,847 Uh... 648 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,083 Look, we are acting all nervous, but there's no reason to be. 649 00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:18,751 Well, I'm not. No, I know. 650 00:25:18,785 --> 00:25:20,687 I mean, it... there's no reason to be, right? 651 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,956 I mean, we have seen each other naked, and way more. 652 00:25:23,990 --> 00:25:25,291 Yeah. 653 00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:26,559 Hey, how about some wine? 654 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,129 You have alcohol? 655 00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:32,298 Why did we not start with this? 656 00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:34,266 Uh... 657 00:25:35,802 --> 00:25:36,769 Crap. 658 00:25:36,803 --> 00:25:38,638 What? 659 00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:40,206 I don't have a corkscrew. 660 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:45,645 You telling me I could put together an entire outfit 661 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:47,179 without even looking inside my closet? 662 00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,015 That's how I picked out what I'm wearing today. 663 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,617 No. No, yeah. 664 00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:51,718 I was like, okay... 665 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:53,319 dress, boom... sweater, bam. 666 00:25:53,352 --> 00:25:54,721 Bam. Shoes... 667 00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:57,089 voilà. Here I am. 668 00:25:57,123 --> 00:25:58,290 (laughs) 669 00:25:58,324 --> 00:26:00,793 That is amazing, what can be done. 670 00:26:00,827 --> 00:26:03,630 I'm sorry, you can't be all that interested in 671 00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,665 an app for clothes. Well, no, no... 672 00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:07,166 I also have an app for hair. 673 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:09,769 Oh, well, no... you know... I'm just kidding, I don't. 674 00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:12,104 But look. 675 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,239 Fireflies. 676 00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,343 Oh... 677 00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:18,344 (laughs) 678 00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:19,979 Can I have your corkscrew? 679 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,782 Well, not now. 680 00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,016 We haven't even used it yet. 681 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,152 Well, can you use it real quick so I can have it? I'll wait. 682 00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:27,654 We're trying to have a date here. 683 00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:28,788 ZOE: Come on. 684 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:31,590 I'll take the next two overnight shifts at the office. 685 00:26:33,726 --> 00:26:35,094 Make it three, and you got a deal. 686 00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:37,096 Man, you Breelands are hard-asses. 687 00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:40,366 Seriously? 688 00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:42,268 A taquito-strudel sandwich? 689 00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:43,970 Come on. Just try it. 690 00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:45,705 Okay. 691 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,747 Mm. 692 00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:56,015 Mm... 693 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:57,016 Uh-uh. 694 00:26:57,049 --> 00:26:58,617 No. Nope. Uh-uh. 695 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:01,053 Oh, my God. 696 00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:03,723 Do you actually like that? No. 697 00:27:03,756 --> 00:27:06,258 I just wanted to see if I could get you to eat it. 698 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,094 Really? Mm-hmm. 699 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:09,796 Oh, you got me. (laughing) 700 00:27:09,829 --> 00:27:11,330 Oh... Very humorous. 701 00:27:11,363 --> 00:27:12,832 Ah... 702 00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:14,400 (laughing) 703 00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:16,736 So... 704 00:27:16,769 --> 00:27:18,104 We have, uh, successfully conquered 705 00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:19,238 the heights of BlueBell. 706 00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:20,673 Mm-hmm. What's the next 707 00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:21,874 unpredictable thing you want to do? 708 00:27:21,908 --> 00:27:24,944 You want to... want to sneak into the church? 709 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:27,313 Rearrange Reverend Mayfair's Bibles? 710 00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:29,081 Were you serious about that? 711 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,850 Wanting to do something unpredictable? 712 00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:34,086 Absolutely. Good. 713 00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,221 'Cause we're gonna steal a dog. 714 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,990 (chuckles) 715 00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:41,160 It's like I think if I don't mention 716 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:43,696 Ruby's leaving, she won't. 717 00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:45,397 But she is. 718 00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:47,066 She bought an apartment. 719 00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:48,100 Bought. 720 00:27:48,134 --> 00:27:50,236 How is this gonna work? 721 00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,138 Listen, Lavon, I know that it's hard, 722 00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:56,075 but if you really care about her, you'll make it work. 723 00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:00,813 (romantic violin music plays) 724 00:28:02,949 --> 00:28:05,017 Oh, man. 725 00:28:05,051 --> 00:28:08,454 I really hope that violin music is playing in my head. 726 00:28:08,487 --> 00:28:10,923 Nope. 727 00:28:10,957 --> 00:28:12,725 Forgot to cancel that. 728 00:28:12,759 --> 00:28:13,993 Yeah. 729 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,895 (chuckling) 730 00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:18,898 Oh, gentlemen, my apologies. Uh, 731 00:28:18,931 --> 00:28:20,399 the serenade is off, b-but thank you. 732 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:21,768 Yes, thank you. 733 00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:23,770 Such a beautiful signora. 734 00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:26,172 You pay for an hour, 735 00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:28,140 we play for an hour! Oh, no. (chuckles) 736 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,942 That's very kind of you, but we... No, we won't be needing 737 00:28:29,976 --> 00:28:30,977 your services at all. 738 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,478 Definitely don't need that. MAN: Si, signore, 739 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:35,081 we play until you dance. 740 00:28:37,984 --> 00:28:40,319 (chuckling) 741 00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:42,955 The world's largest clam is No. 742 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:47,393 the Tridacna derasa, found in the South Pacific. 743 00:28:47,426 --> 00:28:48,895 Can I just say, it's no wonder 744 00:28:48,928 --> 00:28:50,096 kids let you give 'em a shot, 745 00:28:50,129 --> 00:28:51,230 'cause they just want you to shut up. 746 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:52,331 Hey! 747 00:28:52,364 --> 00:28:53,766 (laughing) 748 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,267 GEORGE: Hey, guys! Hey, Tucker, 749 00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:56,335 where you guys going? 750 00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,370 Uh, apparently to steal a dog, 751 00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:00,406 I-I think. 752 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,275 Wow. Good ol' Tansy. 753 00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:04,276 Keeping Georgie-boy 754 00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:05,845 on his toes. 755 00:29:05,878 --> 00:29:06,946 You know, this blind auction 756 00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,981 throws together the wackiest couples. 757 00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:10,449 Oh, they didn't get thrown together. 758 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:11,984 Th-They're dating. 759 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:14,486 They're what? 760 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,923 Yeah. No, I mean, I'm okay with it. 761 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:20,960 You know, he asked my permission and all, so... 762 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,061 (scoffs) 763 00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,130 Oh, wait. 764 00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:26,899 No, Wade, stop. 765 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:29,135 This is not about me being jealous, 766 00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:31,838 okay? I'm just surprised because George said 767 00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:33,906 that he was, you know, gonna start dating girls 768 00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:35,842 that were serious contenders. 769 00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:37,409 And now Tansy? Come on, I give it a week. 770 00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:39,278 And why is that? 771 00:29:39,311 --> 00:29:41,380 Because they're-they're just so different, you know? 772 00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,382 Tansy's the type of girl that goes to 773 00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:46,152 Monster Truck Madness with guys named Colt, 774 00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,387 aka Todd Gainey Jr. 775 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:50,823 So what you're saying is... 776 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:54,126 if two people don't have much in common, they... 777 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,896 they can't make it as a couple. 778 00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:58,464 That's good to know. 779 00:29:58,497 --> 00:30:01,000 No, Wade, no. That's not... What, because, you know, 780 00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:03,435 if George and Tansy can't make it, then, uh... 781 00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:05,204 Well, what are you doing, you know? 782 00:30:05,237 --> 00:30:06,438 You asked me on this date, 783 00:30:06,472 --> 00:30:07,573 and I said yes. Yeah, and you 784 00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,508 brought a book along 'cause you didn't 785 00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:10,943 think we'd have anything to talk about. 786 00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:13,913 And I was... I was totally wrong. 787 00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:16,215 We had, um... 788 00:30:16,248 --> 00:30:17,549 crackers. 789 00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:21,487 You know... Why'd you even agree to this? 790 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,055 Why did you push for it to happen? 791 00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:24,957 You know, everything was fine. I was happy! 792 00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,158 Yeah, well, I wasn't happy. 793 00:30:26,192 --> 00:30:27,593 Maybe I wasn't happy 794 00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:31,097 being a-a placeholder for George Tucker. What? 795 00:30:31,130 --> 00:30:32,965 You know what, forget it, all right? 796 00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:34,901 I don't want to evolve. 797 00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,635 Excuse me, Doc, I-I'm going back 798 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,305 to my cave, all right? I'm out. 799 00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:52,418 (dog barking) Hey, Dolly Parton, 800 00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:54,020 baby, just sit tight! 801 00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:55,421 Mama's coming for you. 802 00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:56,522 When you said steal a dog, 803 00:30:56,555 --> 00:30:58,457 I guess it sounded like wacky fun, but this is... 804 00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:00,159 this is turning into breaking and entering. 805 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:03,095 You said you wanted to be less predictable. 806 00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:05,631 Ever bust open a window? Yeah, less predictable... 807 00:31:05,664 --> 00:31:06,765 Uh, well, can you please 808 00:31:06,798 --> 00:31:09,368 stop before this date becomes a legal consultation? 809 00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:12,004 If I get arrested, will you be my lawyer? 810 00:31:12,038 --> 00:31:14,173 That'd be so cute! (chuckles) 811 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,242 Okay, back up, baby. Back up, baby! 812 00:31:19,979 --> 00:31:20,980 Okay, wait, wait. 813 00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:21,948 Wait. Wait. 814 00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:25,217 For the record, this is 815 00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:26,585 crazy. Um... Yeah. 816 00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:28,287 But you are a lady. 817 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,923 And since I am clearly 818 00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:32,391 going to be an accessory 819 00:31:32,424 --> 00:31:33,559 to this crime, 820 00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:34,560 well, then... 821 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:37,263 BlueBell 822 00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,365 can kiss my predictable 823 00:31:39,398 --> 00:31:40,132 ass. 824 00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:42,501 Lavon, it's me. 825 00:31:42,534 --> 00:31:45,504 It's one thing to blow off my calls for Ruby but for a picnic 826 00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:46,973 with Lemon? 827 00:31:47,006 --> 00:31:48,374 Anyway, things got 828 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,943 really weird on my date with Wade and I really... 829 00:31:50,977 --> 00:31:52,244 TANSY: Dr. Hart. 830 00:31:52,278 --> 00:31:54,613 We need your help. 831 00:31:54,646 --> 00:31:56,582 And they just got weirder. 832 00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,418 (grunts) H... 833 00:31:59,451 --> 00:32:01,053 (chuckles) Don't ask. 834 00:32:03,189 --> 00:32:05,091 (romantic violin music playing) 835 00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:22,208 (laughing) 836 00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:26,512 (chuckling) 837 00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:28,714 You know, sometimes I... 838 00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:32,018 think about the time we had together. 839 00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:34,453 So many good things, 840 00:32:34,486 --> 00:32:37,256 mixed with all that... 841 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:38,524 pain. 842 00:32:38,557 --> 00:32:41,260 But I want you to know 843 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,494 I don't regret one minute. 844 00:32:42,528 --> 00:32:44,096 No. 845 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:47,333 You, Lemon Breeland, were my first true love. 846 00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:49,501 And I'll never forget you. 847 00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:51,537 (chuckles) And to be honest, 848 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,439 me being with Ruby, I... 849 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:55,307 Well, I owe that to you. 850 00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:56,608 Really? 851 00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:58,144 How's that? 852 00:32:58,177 --> 00:32:59,645 You opened my eyes. 853 00:32:59,678 --> 00:33:02,548 Taught me what a real relationship could be. 854 00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:05,217 I think that's why I'm acting 855 00:33:05,251 --> 00:33:09,221 so crazy with Ruby and afraid of her leaving... 856 00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:12,991 'cause I know that we, we have something real. 857 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:15,794 Uh... 858 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:20,266 I have no doubt in my mind that you, Lavon Hayes, 859 00:33:20,299 --> 00:33:21,667 will find true happiness. 860 00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:25,704 As will I. 861 00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:29,141 So I thank you for the lunch 862 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:30,276 and for the dance. 863 00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:35,013 It was lovely. 864 00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:45,424 So let me get this straight. 865 00:33:45,457 --> 00:33:49,095 You committed a misdemeanor to steal a dog? 866 00:33:49,128 --> 00:33:51,730 George Tucker, the lawyer? 867 00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:53,665 Actually, it's a Class C felony. 868 00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:57,436 Oh! Nice! 869 00:33:57,469 --> 00:34:00,506 So you have dated Tansy for all of about five minutes, 870 00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:04,076 and you're already a wisecracking wheelman in a gangster movie! 871 00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:08,314 Doesn't anyone just want to stay who they are? 872 00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:10,249 Okay, look, I know that stealing a dog's 873 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:13,519 a little bit crazy, but I gotta admit it was kinda fun. 874 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:16,422 Give me back my dog, you thief! 875 00:34:18,424 --> 00:34:20,259 Oh, goody, more fun. 876 00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:21,560 You can't take her! 877 00:34:21,593 --> 00:34:23,129 She doesn't even like you! 878 00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:24,830 Look! 879 00:34:24,863 --> 00:34:27,199 That's just PTSD from her recent abduction! 880 00:34:27,233 --> 00:34:29,535 Now let go, or I'm calling the sheriff! 881 00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:31,670 Okay, listen, Evelyn, there's no need to do that. 882 00:34:31,703 --> 00:34:34,240 Let's just all take a deep breath and calm down. 883 00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:35,241 Just a little bit. 884 00:34:35,274 --> 00:34:36,442 Who the hell are you? 885 00:34:36,475 --> 00:34:38,577 And why do you know my name? 886 00:34:38,610 --> 00:34:41,580 Because... I, I'm Miss, Miss Kinsella's, Kinsella's...? 887 00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:43,382 Truitt. I went back to my real name. 888 00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:46,285 Oh. Because I'm Miss Truitt's lawyer, and she has 889 00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:48,787 retained me to settle this matter once and for all. 890 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:51,490 Now, who paid the adoption fees for this dog? 891 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,625 I did. Miss Truitt. 892 00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:54,826 Okay, well, then, Evelyn, 893 00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:56,895 you and I would have to be both blind 894 00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,029 and deaf to not agree 895 00:34:58,063 --> 00:35:01,667 that clearly, Dolly Parton wishes to return to Tansy. 896 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:03,835 Which makes this dog an animus revertendi. 897 00:35:03,869 --> 00:35:06,338 I was told it was mostly pit bull. 898 00:35:06,372 --> 00:35:09,441 Under Alabama state law, any animal who has a habit 899 00:35:09,475 --> 00:35:12,178 of returning to its owner-- as long as said owner has 900 00:35:12,211 --> 00:35:14,213 established care and responsibility 901 00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:17,216 for the animal-- which paying the adoption fees 902 00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:20,352 clearly does-- well, then that animal is deemed to be 903 00:35:20,386 --> 00:35:22,521 the sole property of said owner. 904 00:35:24,390 --> 00:35:25,724 Meaning what, exactly? 905 00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:28,160 Meaning give me back my freaking dog! 906 00:35:28,194 --> 00:35:30,296 Put succinctly, yes. 907 00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:31,630 You know what? 908 00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:35,234 You can keep your damn mutt! 909 00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:37,236 I got Todd Gainey Jr. 910 00:35:37,269 --> 00:35:39,505 (laughs) Double win! 911 00:35:39,538 --> 00:35:41,207 Oh! 912 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,942 (sobbing) 913 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:45,611 TANSY: Oh, my God, that was amazing! 914 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,546 (George chuckles) 915 00:35:56,822 --> 00:35:58,390 (chuckles) 916 00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:00,259 Don't worry, you're next! 917 00:36:00,292 --> 00:36:02,961 Was any of that actually true? 918 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:06,198 Ah, well, you know, the law's a living document, all that. 919 00:36:06,232 --> 00:36:07,165 (chuckles) 920 00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:10,402 So, maybe "wisecracking wheelman" suits you. 921 00:36:10,436 --> 00:36:13,939 You two actually make a nice picture. 922 00:36:13,972 --> 00:36:17,676 Yeah. Yeah, it's not a picture I ever... pictured, but... 923 00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:20,412 Yeah, she does bring out a side of you. 924 00:36:20,446 --> 00:36:22,848 She does, doesn't she? 925 00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:25,417 Maybe that's it; 926 00:36:25,451 --> 00:36:28,554 maybe life's not a picture. Maybe it's a movie. 927 00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:31,457 And I, for one, am curious to see how this one ends. 928 00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:34,293 Hey! This is Dolly Parton! 929 00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:35,661 (George laughs) 930 00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:45,904 (crowd cheering) 931 00:36:45,937 --> 00:36:47,806 (upbeat country playing) 932 00:36:47,839 --> 00:36:52,311 * You took something of mine, and I want it back * 933 00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:54,646 * I don't remember saying it was yours to have * 934 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:59,251 * And if I did, don't rub it in like that... * 935 00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:01,820 (chuckles) 936 00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:04,523 See? You just, like, you just catapult 937 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,992 the bird so it hits the pig. 938 00:37:07,025 --> 00:37:08,560 Oh! Whoa! Lordy, Lordy! 939 00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:10,329 Now I know why my daughter has 940 00:37:10,362 --> 00:37:12,464 her cell phone glued to her body all that time. 941 00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:13,865 Yes, it's addictive. 942 00:37:13,899 --> 00:37:17,369 Listen, thank you so much for the education. 943 00:37:17,403 --> 00:37:19,271 Well, just because school's out 944 00:37:19,305 --> 00:37:22,341 doesn't mean the teacher's gotta go home. 945 00:37:22,374 --> 00:37:23,875 Let's dance! 946 00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:25,611 * Don't do me like that 947 00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:27,746 * The road is smooth, there's a Cadillac * 948 00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:30,416 * Now I'm running around town chasing tire tracks * 949 00:37:30,449 --> 00:37:31,817 * You stole my heart 950 00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:38,490 * And I want, I want, I want, I want it back * 951 00:37:38,524 --> 00:37:40,258 Hazelnut truffles. 952 00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:44,363 Such a "comedy of errors," in keeping with 953 00:37:44,396 --> 00:37:45,897 our Shakespeare theme. (chuckles) 954 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,334 I wonder if tonight matched up any 955 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:50,336 star-crossed lovers. 956 00:37:50,369 --> 00:37:52,504 It's hard to say. 957 00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:55,474 How was your date? Any sparks fly with Delma? 958 00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:57,976 Only when her new hip grazed the water fountain. 959 00:37:58,009 --> 00:37:58,777 (laughs) 960 00:37:58,810 --> 00:37:59,911 What about you? 961 00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:01,813 How was your date with the mayor? 962 00:38:01,847 --> 00:38:04,015 It was fine. 963 00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:07,018 Mayor Hayes and I are friends, 964 00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:10,856 but we both belonged, um... elsewhere. 965 00:38:11,890 --> 00:38:14,025 Glad to hear it. 966 00:38:14,059 --> 00:38:16,061 Well, seeing as how we've both managed 967 00:38:16,094 --> 00:38:19,931 to free ourselves and the night is young... 968 00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:22,968 would you care to join me for dessert? 969 00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:24,803 Absolutely. 970 00:38:24,836 --> 00:38:26,071 (chuckles) 971 00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:28,874 * And yeah, I want it back 972 00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:34,079 * Give it back. 973 00:38:34,112 --> 00:38:36,348 (band plays flourish) 974 00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:38,417 Whoo! 975 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:39,418 (song ends) 976 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:42,921 Hey, Z. Got your messages. 977 00:38:42,954 --> 00:38:44,690 How was y'all's first date? 978 00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:45,724 A disaster. 979 00:38:47,793 --> 00:38:49,428 Maybe some people can overcome their differences, 980 00:38:49,461 --> 00:38:51,997 but Wade and I...? I shouldn't have gone. 981 00:38:53,965 --> 00:38:57,536 Why does everyone have to change, you know? 982 00:38:57,569 --> 00:38:59,838 I changed my whole life to come here. 983 00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:00,972 Isn't that enough? 984 00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:03,141 I need one of those remote controls 985 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,977 where you can pause life, 986 00:39:06,011 --> 00:39:08,414 to make everyone stop where they are. 987 00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:10,749 Those don't exist, you know? 988 00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:15,754 Hey, hey, give it back. 989 00:39:19,591 --> 00:39:21,527 * 990 00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:31,169 Hey. 991 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,871 Hey. 992 00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:36,141 I'm glad you're here. 993 00:39:36,174 --> 00:39:38,477 Well, I snuck in in the back. 994 00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:40,446 You know, in case there are 995 00:39:40,479 --> 00:39:43,882 any rules about the mayor having female company after dark. 996 00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:46,418 (chuckles) 997 00:39:53,925 --> 00:39:56,562 I'm sorry we didn't go on our date. 998 00:39:58,063 --> 00:40:01,032 Lavon, I know you're freaking out about me going to Dallas. 999 00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,468 Yeah. 1000 00:40:02,501 --> 00:40:05,170 But do you want to know why I'm not? 1001 00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:09,040 'Cause I know we have what it takes to make it. 1002 00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,510 And that long-distance thing, 1003 00:40:11,543 --> 00:40:13,912 it's, it's not gonna change that. 1004 00:40:13,945 --> 00:40:15,547 I'm sure of it. 1005 00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:19,751 I hope so. 1006 00:40:19,785 --> 00:40:25,123 I realized something tonight, that, um... 1007 00:40:25,156 --> 00:40:27,926 (chuckles) 1008 00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:30,796 I love you. 1009 00:40:33,131 --> 00:40:34,566 (chuckles) 1010 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,468 Um... 1011 00:40:36,502 --> 00:40:39,971 I love you, too. 1012 00:40:40,005 --> 00:40:41,973 * 1013 00:41:37,563 --> 00:41:40,799 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org