1
00:00:03,705 --> 00:00:08,450
Mm. Tell you what, these pot
shop numbers are really good.
2
00:00:08,452 --> 00:00:11,476
I'll bet it's the only thing
these stoners can remember.
3
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,246
"Hey, where'd you put your car, man?
4
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,783
Wait a minute. We got to buy more weed".
5
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:21,012
There is something
else I got to tell you,
6
00:00:21,014 --> 00:00:23,171
but I don't want this to get out.
7
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:25,432
You're not a complete idiot.
8
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,251
Oh, my God, are you dying?
9
00:00:28,253 --> 00:00:32,421
No, but I didn't like
how excited you just got.
10
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,941
I'm kidding. I don't want you to die.
11
00:00:34,943 --> 00:00:37,635
- Not anymore.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,664
Hey, honey.
13
00:00:39,666 --> 00:00:42,189
You and your vlog made Denver's list
14
00:00:42,191 --> 00:00:44,379
of Top Ten Online Personalities again.
15
00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:46,265
See? Look. Congratulations.
16
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,675
What?
17
00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:50,844
I said congratulations.
18
00:00:50,846 --> 00:00:52,406
I know, I just wanted to hear it again.
19
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,275
Oh, hey, uh, any mention
of Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky,
20
00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:58,227
the Sci-Fi Guy-Guys?
21
00:00:58,229 --> 00:00:59,704
Uh, oh, yes, yes.
22
00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:03,708
Your podcast got Most Rhyming Name.
23
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,735
No, no, you didn't get
mentioned, Ryan. No.
24
00:01:06,737 --> 00:01:08,212
We just can't get any traction.
25
00:01:08,214 --> 00:01:10,456
I mean, nerds love
sci-fi and the Internet.
26
00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:11,740
What am I missing?
27
00:01:11,742 --> 00:01:12,933
You're boring.
28
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:14,743
Mike.
29
00:01:14,745 --> 00:01:17,204
Not him personally.
The podcast is boring,
30
00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:19,724
and you're just the
face of that boredom.
31
00:01:20,635 --> 00:01:22,543
What Mike is trying to say is,
32
00:01:22,545 --> 00:01:24,970
if you want to get noticed,
you got to make some noise.
33
00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:27,640
You bring on a name guest,
create some conflict...
34
00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:30,902
Wow. You are red hot when you
repeat things I've told you.
35
00:01:30,904 --> 00:01:32,553
Mm.
36
00:01:32,555 --> 00:01:35,227
You're saying we don't create
enough conflict on the podcast?
37
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,007
No, no, not really.
Right now, you and Kyle
38
00:01:38,009 --> 00:01:40,108
are just two nice guys who
always agree with each other.
39
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:41,952
Right, you got to get
alternate points of view.
40
00:01:41,954 --> 00:01:44,106
You know, get the audience
invested in picking a side.
41
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:45,308
It's basic storytelling.
42
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:47,251
Mike, I think I know
how to tell a story.
43
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:48,920
You do, huh? Well, here's one.
44
00:01:48,922 --> 00:01:51,412
This guy had a boring podcast,
didn't take advice,
45
00:01:51,414 --> 00:01:53,706
it sucked, end of story.
46
00:01:55,251 --> 00:01:57,571
Oh, oh, that was fascinating.
47
00:01:57,573 --> 00:01:59,736
I-I was on the edge of my seat.
48
00:01:59,738 --> 00:02:01,642
Oh, okay, so what you're saying is,
49
00:02:01,644 --> 00:02:04,444
we need a guest that's
contrarian and opinionated
50
00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:07,164
- and loves to hear himself talk.
- Mm, yeah,
51
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:10,090
preferably, someone who already
has an Internet presence
52
00:02:10,092 --> 00:02:12,243
- Oh.
- who might bring in some new listeners,
53
00:02:12,245 --> 00:02:14,454
and he's also a sweetheart.
54
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:18,935
Wait. I... I see where this is going.
55
00:02:18,937 --> 00:02:21,628
Listen, you know I've always said that,
56
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:22,921
- Mm-hmm.
- uh, podcasts are so boring,
57
00:02:22,923 --> 00:02:25,942
no one with any
self-respect would do it.
58
00:02:25,944 --> 00:02:27,351
But?
59
00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:30,112
Uh, still the same.
60
00:02:32,138 --> 00:02:35,138
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61
00:02:40,107 --> 00:02:41,107
What?
62
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:46,445
I don't want to do a podcast
with a bunch of sci-fi nerds.
63
00:02:46,447 --> 00:02:50,633
They'll probably just call in,
ask, "Hey, what are girls like?"
64
00:02:50,635 --> 00:02:52,117
Oh, uh-huh. Yeah.
65
00:02:52,119 --> 00:02:54,328
Well, that's totally understandable.
66
00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:56,213
I mean, I get it, I get it.
67
00:02:56,215 --> 00:02:57,497
There's nothing to get.
68
00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,642
Podcast, sci-fi, Ryan?
69
00:02:59,644 --> 00:03:03,020
It's the trifecta of useless things.
70
00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:07,799
What?
71
00:03:07,801 --> 00:03:11,153
I think it's nice how close
you and Ryan are getting.
72
00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:15,467
I think it's nice that
you say such crazy things.
73
00:03:15,469 --> 00:03:17,975
I've been married to you for 30 years.
74
00:03:17,977 --> 00:03:20,173
- I always know what you're thinking.
- You know what?
75
00:03:20,175 --> 00:03:22,573
Remind me to buy a
lead helmet. You know...
76
00:03:22,575 --> 00:03:26,911
Alexa, add "lead helmet"
to my shopping list.
77
00:03:26,913 --> 00:03:30,197
Okay. I've added "lead
helmet" to your shopping list.
78
00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:31,841
Huh.
79
00:03:31,843 --> 00:03:35,202
And now you're making
jokes to try to distract me.
80
00:03:35,204 --> 00:03:36,703
Is it working?
81
00:03:36,705 --> 00:03:38,705
No.
82
00:03:38,707 --> 00:03:40,257
You know...
83
00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:44,002
you like how your relationship
is with Ryan right now,
84
00:03:44,004 --> 00:03:46,022
and you don't want to do
anything to screw that up.
85
00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,765
I mean, that's why you're a sweetheart.
86
00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,600
Okay, all right, I admit it.
87
00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:51,236
I like not arguing with the man
88
00:03:51,238 --> 00:03:53,029
that's gonna give me
my second grandchild.
89
00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:55,197
Mm-hmm, and you don't
want to go on his podcast
90
00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:57,214
because you're afraid you
might get into a fight,
91
00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:58,684
and that will screw things up.
92
00:03:58,686 --> 00:04:00,778
It's not gonna be a fight.
93
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,854
I'll rip his head off.
He'll never recover.
94
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:05,524
I am just too powerful.
95
00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:07,126
Okay.
96
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,379
I know that it would mean a lot
97
00:04:10,381 --> 00:04:12,364
to Ryan if you did his show.
98
00:04:12,366 --> 00:04:15,242
Isn't it enough that I just
give him a pot shop to run
99
00:04:15,244 --> 00:04:17,053
and he gets to marry my oldest daughter?
100
00:04:17,055 --> 00:04:19,246
Let me... let me tell you a story, okay?
101
00:04:19,248 --> 00:04:21,873
Once upon a time there
was a very nice man
102
00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:23,801
who wanted to help out his son-in-law,
103
00:04:23,803 --> 00:04:26,971
so he called him and he
said he'd do his podcast.
104
00:04:26,973 --> 00:04:28,375
I don't like the
beginning of that story,
105
00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:31,354
the middle or the end of that story.
106
00:04:34,763 --> 00:04:35,974
Oh, excuse me.
107
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,205
Um, can we get some menus
when you get a chance, please?
108
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,063
Oh, I'm so sorry. Most people just read
109
00:04:40,065 --> 00:04:42,908
the giant chalkboard, but...
let me see what I can do.
110
00:04:45,899 --> 00:04:48,108
Wow. Didn't notice the giant chalkboard,
111
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:50,586
- but Trevor sure is a giant as...
- Okay, Mandy.
112
00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:52,779
We're-we're having a nice lunch.
113
00:04:52,781 --> 00:04:55,332
If this booth seems small to me,
114
00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:57,334
what are you guys going through?
115
00:04:57,336 --> 00:04:59,619
Well, I told them there
would be four of us.
116
00:04:59,621 --> 00:05:03,248
Yeah, did you tell them
that one of us was two of us?
117
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,250
Maybe we should take turns.
118
00:05:05,252 --> 00:05:07,961
Three of us eat while one of us watches.
119
00:05:07,963 --> 00:05:10,922
Then we rotate. Like volleyball.
120
00:05:10,924 --> 00:05:13,592
Aw. You know this is fun, this is fun.
121
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:16,237
- It's like eating lunch in the backseat of a car.
- Yeah.
122
00:05:17,297 --> 00:05:20,245
Uh, excuse me. Could
we get a larger table?
123
00:05:20,247 --> 00:05:21,769
My daughter's pregnant, and...
124
00:05:21,771 --> 00:05:23,937
Oh. My sister was pregnant once.
125
00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:26,189
- Aw.
- She stayed home.
126
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,983
This guy is incredibly rude.
127
00:05:29,985 --> 00:05:33,612
Nothing an elbow to the face can't cure.
128
00:05:33,614 --> 00:05:36,948
Kristin, you look uncomfortable.
Do you want to switch with me?
129
00:05:36,950 --> 00:05:39,207
Good idea. Yeah. I'll
probably be making, uh,
130
00:05:39,209 --> 00:05:41,661
several trips to the bathroom, so...
131
00:05:41,663 --> 00:05:42,805
Okay.
132
00:05:43,808 --> 00:05:45,716
- Oh!
- Oh! Uh, sorry.
133
00:05:45,718 --> 00:05:47,551
Okay, okay...
134
00:05:47,553 --> 00:05:49,002
Sorry.
135
00:05:49,004 --> 00:05:50,670
Baby on the way.
136
00:05:50,672 --> 00:05:53,057
No, oh, no, no, not now.
137
00:05:53,059 --> 00:05:55,776
Soon. Soon. We're... we're excited.
138
00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:59,563
Hey. That was on the floor.
139
00:05:59,565 --> 00:06:02,139
Well, I didn't put it there.
140
00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:04,992
Hey, that attitude will
be reflected in your tip!
141
00:06:07,999 --> 00:06:11,667
Well, this is gonna be my first
podcast about superheroes.
142
00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:13,901
I'm excited. When do I
get my thick black glasses
143
00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:16,696
with the tape in the middle of 'em?
144
00:06:16,698 --> 00:06:18,562
It's, uh, it's just audio, sir.
145
00:06:18,564 --> 00:06:20,659
The listeners, they can't see you.
146
00:06:20,661 --> 00:06:23,587
Their loss.
147
00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:25,622
He's kidding, Kyle. He's
just trying to annoy me.
148
00:06:25,624 --> 00:06:27,859
No, no. If I was trying to annoy you,
149
00:06:27,861 --> 00:06:29,351
we wouldn't be talking superheroes,
150
00:06:29,353 --> 00:06:31,103
we'd be talking Ronald Reagan.
151
00:06:32,548 --> 00:06:34,996
I love it, Mike. Whatever
you got, I can take it.
152
00:06:34,998 --> 00:06:37,217
Well, let's just pretend that's true.
153
00:06:37,219 --> 00:06:39,386
If I knew this was gonna be stressful,
154
00:06:39,388 --> 00:06:41,847
I wouldn't be drinking bubbly water.
155
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:44,200
And we're on in three, two...
156
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:46,035
Hello...
157
00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:49,002
and welcome to another episode
of Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky,
158
00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:50,897
- the Sci-Fi Guy-Guys.
- Yeah, we have
159
00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:52,756
a very special guest with us today,
160
00:06:52,758 --> 00:06:54,057
none other than Outdoor Man himself,
161
00:06:54,059 --> 00:06:55,619
Mr. Mike Baxter.
162
00:06:55,621 --> 00:06:57,886
- Well, thank you, guys, for having me on.
- Yep.
163
00:06:57,888 --> 00:07:01,217
So now Mi-Mi is a Guy-Guy.
164
00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:05,370
You really got to
stop-stop before I die-die.
165
00:07:05,372 --> 00:07:08,763
Okay, today's topic is the
evolution of superheroes.
166
00:07:08,765 --> 00:07:11,418
Oh, really? When do I
get my broken glasses
167
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,437
with the tape in the middle?
168
00:07:15,113 --> 00:07:17,900
Okay. Well, I can't
take credit for that one.
169
00:07:17,902 --> 00:07:21,052
That joke is a Mike Baxter original.
170
00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:23,147
Since you ruined it, it's yours.
171
00:07:23,149 --> 00:07:25,609
Uh, and back to topic.
172
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,782
Today we see our superheroes
with a more nuanced lens...
173
00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:31,080
with moral ambiguity,
complex motivations...
174
00:07:31,082 --> 00:07:33,469
but, uh, Mike, I'm sure you preferred
175
00:07:33,471 --> 00:07:35,210
back in the olden days,
176
00:07:35,212 --> 00:07:38,283
when, uh, our superheroes
just stood for truth, justice
177
00:07:38,285 --> 00:07:39,779
and the American way?
178
00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:41,757
Well, you're probably
not gonna like this, Ryan,
179
00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:42,998
but I agree with you.
180
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,055
I'm actually fascinated
by the complexities
181
00:07:45,057 --> 00:07:47,045
of today's antiheroes.
182
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,455
Okay, you don't have to play nice
183
00:07:48,457 --> 00:07:50,113
just because you're our guest here.
184
00:07:50,115 --> 00:07:52,033
I don't play nice. I
just farted in this chair.
185
00:07:55,781 --> 00:07:58,346
There's no such thing
as all good or all bad.
186
00:07:58,348 --> 00:07:59,775
It's complex, guys.
187
00:07:59,777 --> 00:08:01,277
It's like real life now.
188
00:08:01,279 --> 00:08:03,929
Look at real life... it's-it's
a snake pit out there.
189
00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:06,247
Yeah, okay, but we're
talking superheroes here,
190
00:08:06,249 --> 00:08:07,546
not the real world.
191
00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:09,324
Well, yeah, but modern superheroes
192
00:08:09,326 --> 00:08:10,604
reflect our modern world.
193
00:08:10,606 --> 00:08:13,146
I mean, let's face it, these
are scary and confusing times.
194
00:08:13,148 --> 00:08:14,621
Exactly. And the darker
195
00:08:14,623 --> 00:08:16,700
the hero, the darker the villain.
196
00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:18,443
And today's villains, youch.
197
00:08:18,445 --> 00:08:20,320
They'll crush a butterfly,
eat it like that,
198
00:08:20,322 --> 00:08:21,630
kill women, children.
199
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,970
They don't care. It almost makes them...
200
00:08:23,972 --> 00:08:25,709
a bit more interesting.
201
00:08:25,711 --> 00:08:28,702
Ah. And there you have it, the
viewpoint of Mr. Mike Baxter.
202
00:08:28,704 --> 00:08:29,985
Uh, can I say something?
203
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,992
Mr. Baxter, you...
204
00:08:31,994 --> 00:08:33,595
are full of crap.
205
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:36,194
What?
206
00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:38,220
Yeah, that's right, I said "crap".
207
00:08:38,222 --> 00:08:39,903
And I'm not gonna sit
here and listen to you.
208
00:08:39,905 --> 00:08:42,968
You know why? Because it's crap.
209
00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:44,653
All right, I'm leaving,
210
00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:47,489
because I, for one,
do not like conflict!
211
00:08:55,098 --> 00:08:56,746
Is it a good idea
212
00:08:56,748 --> 00:08:58,525
for us to go out again?
What if this place
213
00:08:58,527 --> 00:09:00,041
is as bad as the place
where Trevor works?
214
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:02,645
Oh, it is. We're going back to
the place where Trevor works.
215
00:09:03,925 --> 00:09:06,582
Uh, why don't we just eat lunch in Hell?
216
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:08,940
Because he was horrible,
217
00:09:08,942 --> 00:09:11,052
and we are going to pay him back.
218
00:09:11,054 --> 00:09:13,364
Ladies! We're ready!
219
00:09:19,172 --> 00:09:21,190
What?
220
00:09:21,192 --> 00:09:23,216
What is this?
221
00:09:23,218 --> 00:09:25,223
Oh, you know, just three pregnant women
222
00:09:25,225 --> 00:09:28,207
going to lunch and glowing.
223
00:09:28,209 --> 00:09:30,733
Look at the size of me.
224
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:32,729
I feel so...
225
00:09:32,731 --> 00:09:34,289
American.
226
00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:40,042
Oh. After lunch, we should
have a belly-bumping contest.
227
00:09:40,044 --> 00:09:42,183
Hyah!
228
00:09:42,185 --> 00:09:43,737
I love it, I really... I love it,
229
00:09:43,739 --> 00:09:45,756
but why exactly are you guys doing this?
230
00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:47,706
Well, because if Trevor nearly lost it
231
00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:48,865
with one pregnant woman,
232
00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:51,154
oh, he'll definitely lose it with three.
233
00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:52,529
Yeah, and if not...
234
00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:53,870
whack!...
235
00:09:53,872 --> 00:09:55,430
he gets the elbow.
236
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:01,834
- Chuck.
- Hmm?
237
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:03,042
Look, I'm looking for Kyle.
238
00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:05,400
Uh, hey, you have eyes on him?
239
00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:07,236
You mean look for him on the monitor?
240
00:10:09,305 --> 00:10:12,157
Everybody wants to talk
like they're on CSI.
241
00:10:13,898 --> 00:10:18,239
No, he is not in the retail
store or in his office.
242
00:10:18,241 --> 00:10:19,305
- What's up?
- I don't know,
243
00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:20,565
I think he's trying to avoid me.
244
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,692
When I find him, I'll let you know why.
245
00:10:22,694 --> 00:10:24,586
Hey, Mikey. How's it going?
246
00:10:24,588 --> 00:10:25,921
Have you seen Kyle?
247
00:10:25,923 --> 00:10:29,451
Oh, yes, yes, he's hiding under my desk.
248
00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:30,525
Ed!
249
00:10:30,527 --> 00:10:32,592
We-we both said we would cover for him.
250
00:10:32,594 --> 00:10:36,278
I know, but I'd like my office back.
251
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,303
Why is he hiding from me?
252
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,138
Everybody hides from
you every now and then.
253
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,203
We stopped asking why.
254
00:10:42,205 --> 00:10:44,112
Kyle, get out here.
255
00:10:44,114 --> 00:10:46,896
Uh, Kyle who?
256
00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:48,904
Uh, Anderson?
257
00:10:48,906 --> 00:10:51,090
Aw, nuts.
258
00:10:52,474 --> 00:10:54,307
Can we talk for a minute in my office?
259
00:10:54,309 --> 00:10:56,452
Yeah.
260
00:10:56,454 --> 00:11:00,197
I'm sorry, I just needed some legroom.
261
00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:02,506
So... so what's going on?
262
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:04,175
Oh, nothing. Why do you ask?
263
00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:08,589
Well, maybe 'cause I'm full of crap?
264
00:11:11,302 --> 00:11:13,302
You heard that?
265
00:11:14,213 --> 00:11:17,214
I was sitting right next to you.
266
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:18,548
So tell me what's going on.
267
00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:20,834
Something. Something huge.
268
00:11:20,836 --> 00:11:24,295
I mean, really, really
huge, but I can't tell you.
269
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:25,672
You understand that, right?
270
00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:27,163
Sure, I understand. I
mean, why wouldn't I?
271
00:11:27,165 --> 00:11:28,498
You were hiding under a desk.
272
00:11:29,354 --> 00:11:32,036
Listen, if this is work-related
or something like that,
273
00:11:32,038 --> 00:11:33,638
I'm here. I-I will listen.
274
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,065
No, it-it's okay. Really.
275
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:37,290
- I-I have Mandy that I can talk to.
- Okay, then.
276
00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:39,352
- I mean, actually, she's the one who told me.
- Okay.
277
00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:42,612
Not with words, but she just
came out of the bathroom smiling
278
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,298
and pointing at the stick.
279
00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:47,791
- Are you...
- Oh, wait, did I say "stick"?
280
00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:50,127
I meant pregnancy test. Oh, damn it!
281
00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:55,184
Mandy's pregnant?
282
00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:56,536
Yeah.
283
00:11:56,538 --> 00:11:58,821
I'm conflicted. I-I want
to tell you to get out,
284
00:11:58,823 --> 00:12:01,105
but I also want to go...
285
00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:03,038
Wow.
286
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,020
- This is great. This is...
- Yeah.
287
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:06,936
Becoming a father is the best news ever.
288
00:12:06,938 --> 00:12:08,628
- Thanks. Oh, I'm so happy.
- Yes.
289
00:12:08,630 --> 00:12:10,841
So that's why you
snapped on the podcast.
290
00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:13,228
You heard all the stuff about
snake pit and the heroes,
291
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,513
and-and you just want
to protect that kid.
292
00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:17,390
Exactly, yeah. It's like I want
293
00:12:17,392 --> 00:12:19,109
to cover the baby in bubble wrap.
294
00:12:19,111 --> 00:12:21,760
Yeah. Well, I'm fairly
certain that's illegal,
295
00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:22,970
so let's not do that.
296
00:12:24,065 --> 00:12:25,615
I mean, Mandy and I,
297
00:12:25,617 --> 00:12:27,357
- we are terrified.
- Yeah, this is great.
298
00:12:27,359 --> 00:12:29,027
I mean, there's so much
danger everywhere.
299
00:12:29,029 --> 00:12:30,502
Everything in our apartment is sharp.
300
00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:32,421
Well...
301
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,458
You know?
302
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,201
A-And it's like I don't know what to do.
303
00:12:36,203 --> 00:12:37,692
- No, hey, hey.
- Right? It's like the whole world
304
00:12:37,694 --> 00:12:40,079
was built to threaten my kid.
305
00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:42,632
You can handle this. Trust me.
306
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:45,475
It'll all change when you see that kid.
307
00:12:45,477 --> 00:12:47,667
You'll stand in front of a
speeding train to protect it.
308
00:12:47,669 --> 00:12:49,231
You really will.
309
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,049
- Thanks, Mr. B.
- Yeah.
310
00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:53,194
Hey, and... and it's still super early,
311
00:12:53,196 --> 00:12:54,880
- so that's why we're not telling anyone.
- Great, great.
312
00:12:54,882 --> 00:12:56,682
Okay. I'll tell Vanessa,
"Don't tell anybody".
313
00:12:59,132 --> 00:13:01,706
Uh, no, you-you can't tell Mrs. B.
314
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:03,489
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes, I can.
315
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,052
Yeah, it's just...
316
00:13:05,054 --> 00:13:07,273
Come on, it's my wife.
If I don't tell her,
317
00:13:07,275 --> 00:13:08,900
she would literally kill me.
318
00:13:08,902 --> 00:13:12,278
And my wife will literally
kill me if you do.
319
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,782
So it's you or me.
320
00:13:15,784 --> 00:13:18,408
Okay, obviously, you're
more important than me.
321
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,743
- Good.
- But I really need this one.
322
00:13:20,745 --> 00:13:23,402
I can't do this.
Vanessa can read my mind.
323
00:13:23,404 --> 00:13:25,622
I don't have a lead helmet.
324
00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:34,592
Hey, Mike Baxter for Outdoor Man.
325
00:13:34,594 --> 00:13:36,101
Want to take a second to thank you all
326
00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:37,779
for making this vlog so popular.
327
00:13:37,781 --> 00:13:40,357
I may record it in
the state of Colorado,
328
00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:41,748
but the Outdoor Man philosophy
329
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:45,770
is really a state of mind.
330
00:13:45,772 --> 00:13:48,606
Hard to believe how big
our following has gotten.
331
00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:50,483
I guess, like me, most outdoorsmen
332
00:13:50,485 --> 00:13:52,110
just love hunting for the truth.
333
00:13:52,112 --> 00:13:53,873
Of course, it's an election year,
334
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,000
so it's really not in season.
335
00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:01,327
But over 2,000 years ago,
336
00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:04,153
a guy had only 12 followers,
and he said something simple.
337
00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:05,957
"The truth shall set you free".
338
00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:08,306
Those 12 guys retweeted so many times,
339
00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:10,628
Jesus now has over two billion fans.
340
00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:15,058
Now, that is an influencer.
341
00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,760
The only time the truth
doesn't set you free
342
00:14:17,762 --> 00:14:19,406
is when you hold on to it.
343
00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:20,763
This is especially dangerous
344
00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,899
if you try to keep a
secret from your wife.
345
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:24,993
That leaves you with quite a dilemma.
346
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:27,571
"Dilemma" from "di", meaning "two",
347
00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:32,075
and "lemma" as in "lemma
explain what I meant".
348
00:14:32,077 --> 00:14:36,195
Marriage is just an endless
injection of sodium pentothal.
349
00:14:36,197 --> 00:14:38,507
Lying to your wife is not only immoral,
350
00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:40,491
it's pointless.
351
00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:43,587
Try it, and you'll learn lies
can actually set you free.
352
00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:44,996
Free to pack up your crap
353
00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:48,541
and move into a one-bedroom across town.
354
00:14:48,543 --> 00:14:50,675
Or maybe a nice one-man tent,
355
00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:53,387
on sale all this month at Outdoor Man.
356
00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:57,192
That's the truth. Baxter out.
357
00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:03,365
Oh, that was so much fun.
358
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:05,558
Did you see the look on Trevor's face?
359
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,337
Oh, yeah, especially when
Jen asked to see a wine list.
360
00:15:10,982 --> 00:15:13,358
Messing with people is fun.
361
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,746
I'm gonna go take a selfie
and send it to my dad.
362
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:19,954
No! Wait, no! No, you're not!
363
00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:22,479
Don't do that! No! Hey!
364
00:15:22,481 --> 00:15:24,880
Oh, you guys are the best.
365
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,380
Oh, I'm so lucky
366
00:15:26,382 --> 00:15:28,646
to have such an amazing sister
367
00:15:28,648 --> 00:15:30,287
and mom and...
368
00:15:30,289 --> 00:15:32,788
exchange student.
369
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:35,213
Honey, oh, that is so sweet,
370
00:15:35,215 --> 00:15:38,039
even if it might be the
pregnancy hormones talking.
371
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:39,481
Why does it have to be the hormones?
372
00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:41,196
Can't it just be something I feel?!
373
00:15:41,198 --> 00:15:42,632
Okay.
374
00:15:43,741 --> 00:15:45,649
I should probably go.
375
00:15:45,651 --> 00:15:47,725
Okay.
376
00:15:52,831 --> 00:15:55,455
You're, uh, you're gonna
take that off, right?
377
00:15:55,457 --> 00:15:57,477
Yes. I just...
378
00:15:57,479 --> 00:15:59,669
I like the way I look.
379
00:15:59,671 --> 00:16:02,546
I mean, I always do,
but this is different.
380
00:16:02,548 --> 00:16:05,427
Enjoy it now, because when
you really are pregnant,
381
00:16:05,429 --> 00:16:08,413
there's a lot less standing
and admiring.
382
00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:10,563
Hey.
383
00:16:10,565 --> 00:16:12,329
- Are you crying?
- No.
384
00:16:12,331 --> 00:16:14,919
No. It's just...
385
00:16:14,921 --> 00:16:17,013
Thanks for buying us all lunch, Mom.
386
00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:18,515
You're so generous and beautiful.
387
00:16:18,517 --> 00:16:21,184
You used to make our lunches.
Do you remember that?
388
00:16:21,186 --> 00:16:23,469
Oh.
389
00:16:23,471 --> 00:16:25,294
You're... Are you mocking Kristin?
390
00:16:25,296 --> 00:16:27,353
No. Why does it have
to be about Kristin?
391
00:16:27,355 --> 00:16:29,623
Can't it just be something I feel?!
392
00:16:34,274 --> 00:16:36,199
Oh, my God.
393
00:16:36,201 --> 00:16:37,701
You're pregnant.
394
00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:40,445
I didn't say that, but yes.
395
00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:42,038
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
396
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,874
Oh, honey! Oh!
397
00:16:44,876 --> 00:16:47,210
You were so worried
this wouldn't happen,
398
00:16:47,212 --> 00:16:49,495
but I told you it would.
399
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:51,731
Oh! How far along are you?
400
00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:53,164
Um, not this far.
401
00:16:55,524 --> 00:16:58,089
Oh, this is amazing. Oh, I just...
402
00:16:58,091 --> 00:17:01,218
I'm so happy for you and for me, for us.
403
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:03,347
Your dad is gonna be so excited.
404
00:17:03,349 --> 00:17:05,563
I know. You can't tell him.
405
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:08,255
Oh, yeah. Good one. Right.
406
00:17:08,257 --> 00:17:09,601
No, no, no, Mom, I'm serious.
407
00:17:09,603 --> 00:17:10,959
We were gonna tell you guys together.
408
00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:13,161
- He's gonna be really hurt if he found out you knew first.
- No.
409
00:17:13,163 --> 00:17:15,436
No, he won't. Oh, no,
wait, you're right.
410
00:17:15,438 --> 00:17:17,973
Yeah, he will. He's a big baby.
411
00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:23,204
Kyle. Kyle, got to relax. Just relax.
412
00:17:23,206 --> 00:17:25,723
If Vanessa goes
searching up in this head,
413
00:17:25,725 --> 00:17:29,160
all she's gonna hear is the
song "Danny Boy" playing.
414
00:17:29,162 --> 00:17:31,662
"Danny Boy". It's a...
It's a... Never mind.
415
00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:33,988
No, and I'm not taking
suggestions for another song.
416
00:17:33,990 --> 00:17:36,864
That's what's playing up there. Goodbye.
417
00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:39,056
♪ Danny boy ♪
418
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,782
♪ The pipes, the pipes ♪
419
00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:44,285
♪ Are calling ♪
420
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:49,680
♪ From glen to glen and... ♪ Hey.
421
00:17:49,682 --> 00:17:51,724
- You're home.
- Yeah.
422
00:17:51,726 --> 00:17:53,108
You cooked.
423
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:55,394
Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, usually do.
424
00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:01,752
Yeah, usually do.
425
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,074
- We should take this to the table.
- Yeah.
426
00:18:05,076 --> 00:18:07,382
Yeah, that's a good place to eat.
427
00:18:09,369 --> 00:18:12,439
- Uh, how was, uh, how was your day?
- Huh?
428
00:18:12,441 --> 00:18:15,373
- Day?
- Yeah.
429
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:16,725
Uh...
430
00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:18,268
Normal.
431
00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:21,265
How was your day?
432
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,599
Super normal.
433
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,758
Just, um, you know, normal.
434
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,478
Howdy-hoo!
435
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,272
Did you guys hear the great news?
436
00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:31,769
- I didn't hear anything.
- No, nothing. I don't know anything.
437
00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:33,817
What are you talking about?
438
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:36,227
Uh, because of your guest appearance,
439
00:18:36,229 --> 00:18:38,812
we got a whole host of new
subscribers to the podcast.
440
00:18:38,814 --> 00:18:40,518
- Oh.
- That's why I brought the bubbly.
441
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,733
- Yeah. That news. Yeah, yeah.
- Good, good. Yeah.
442
00:18:42,735 --> 00:18:43,766
- Good. Great.
- Yeah.
443
00:18:43,768 --> 00:18:44,999
Yeah. Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky
444
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,294
going cray cray in the hey-hey!
445
00:18:48,884 --> 00:18:50,408
Bubbly dooby doo, doo, doo.
446
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:52,743
That's what it sounds like to me.
I don't know what you just said.
447
00:18:52,745 --> 00:18:54,078
Uh, anyway, I got to skedaddle.
448
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,580
Just want to drop in, say thank you.
449
00:18:55,582 --> 00:18:58,558
- Ta-ta, Mi-Mi.
- Good, good.
450
00:19:00,446 --> 00:19:01,801
Well, we should eat.
451
00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,609
- Yes, right here. Good. Yeah.
- Uh, yep.
452
00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:05,628
Oh, yeah.
453
00:19:07,778 --> 00:19:09,945
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
454
00:19:28,781 --> 00:19:30,707
Mmm.
455
00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:32,882
- That thing with Ryan.
- Oh.
456
00:19:32,884 --> 00:19:35,574
- I know.
- Oh.
457
00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:38,484
Seemed like you were...
458
00:19:38,486 --> 00:19:39,883
Yeah.
459
00:19:39,885 --> 00:19:42,236
- Yeah, so did you.
- Hmm.
460
00:19:54,922 --> 00:19:57,422
Actually, my day...
461
00:19:57,424 --> 00:19:59,549
was great.
462
00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:03,748
Mine, too.
463
00:20:05,749 --> 00:20:08,517
- Want some champagne?
- You read my mind.
464
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,013
The other day, when I was hiding
465
00:20:19,015 --> 00:20:20,407
- underneath your desk...
- Mm-hmm.
466
00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:22,500
... I found a nickel,
and just out of habit,
467
00:20:22,502 --> 00:20:24,427
- I put it in my pocket.
- Mm-hmm.
468
00:20:24,429 --> 00:20:27,314
I have just felt sick about it.
469
00:20:29,169 --> 00:20:30,467
Well, thank you, Kyle.
470
00:20:30,469 --> 00:20:32,623
I've been looking for that.
471
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:35,366
Hey, hey, Kyle? Uh,
472
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,507
why were you hiding
from Mike the other day?
473
00:20:37,509 --> 00:20:39,174
I can't talk about it,
474
00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:42,892
so please don't ask me any questions.
475
00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:45,918
- Okay. Okay.
- Right.
476
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,586
It's just I can't get into it.
477
00:20:48,588 --> 00:20:49,868
Okay.
478
00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:51,702
But don't worry, it's not a bad thing.
479
00:20:51,704 --> 00:20:54,085
All right.
480
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,277
'Cause, actually, it's a good thing.
481
00:20:56,279 --> 00:20:58,352
I mean, really good.
482
00:20:58,354 --> 00:21:02,972
Scary, a little bit, but good.
483
00:21:02,974 --> 00:21:05,071
And not, like, "scary movie" scary.
484
00:21:05,073 --> 00:21:08,400
- Just, like, "big life stuff" way scary, you know?
- Ah.
485
00:21:08,402 --> 00:21:11,184
But that's all I'm gonna say.
486
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,709
For now.
487
00:21:12,711 --> 00:21:14,642
Eventually, you'll know.
488
00:21:14,644 --> 00:21:16,041
It'll be obvious.
489
00:21:16,043 --> 00:21:18,189
So obvious.
490
00:21:19,242 --> 00:21:20,773
But that's all I can say,
491
00:21:20,775 --> 00:21:23,285
so please, if you can respect that.
492
00:21:28,159 --> 00:21:29,857
I bet it's a boy.
493
00:21:35,281 --> 00:21:38,348
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