1
00:00:01,685 --> 00:00:03,754
Oh! It's Coach!
2
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,164
Coach, our old roommate?
3
00:00:05,235 --> 00:00:06,535
He wants to hang out tonight.
4
00:00:06,570 --> 00:00:08,103
- What?
- He just texted me.
5
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,706
Oh, man, you better give
Power of Attorney to a loved one,
6
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:12,107
'cause it's about to get crazy.
7
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,643
When Coach has the dice,
every roll's a seven.
8
00:00:14,678 --> 00:00:16,612
♪ Here I am ♪
9
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:20,115
♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
10
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,084
Nick, trumpet solo.
11
00:00:22,118 --> 00:00:23,652
Yeah!
12
00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:25,754
MAN:
You're ruining my wedding!
13
00:00:25,789 --> 00:00:27,790
You know, I bet this means
he broke up with Malia.
14
00:00:27,824 --> 00:00:29,058
I mean, that's his thing.
15
00:00:29,092 --> 00:00:30,392
He finds a girl,
he just disappears.
16
00:00:30,427 --> 00:00:32,661
Holy crap in a hat! Schmidt!
17
00:00:32,696 --> 00:00:33,863
How long have you been
out there?
18
00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:36,799
Oh, relax. Just bringing my chimes
over to the new loft.
19
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:39,301
Damn it, Schmidt! You're here
all the time taking our stuff.
20
00:00:39,336 --> 00:00:41,837
You decided to move out,
so get new stuff.
21
00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:44,573
Oh, I'm sorry that I'm more into material
possessions than you. (Phone chimes)
22
00:00:44,608 --> 00:00:46,709
Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste
while I was using it.
23
00:00:46,743 --> 00:00:47,877
That's vindictive.
24
00:00:47,911 --> 00:00:49,311
- That's who took the toothpaste?
- Yeah.
25
00:00:49,346 --> 00:00:51,280
Uh-oh, you better watch out,
break of, break of dawn,
26
00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:53,649
because I'm about
to party all up in you!
27
00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,084
- Coach texted you, too?
- Yeah, man.
28
00:00:55,118 --> 00:00:56,485
Well, I guess he doesn't realize
29
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:57,920
you're a dill weed
who doesn't live here anymore.
30
00:00:57,954 --> 00:01:00,789
Well, I guess he doesn't realize
that you're a dill weed who...
31
00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:02,491
who still lives here.
32
00:01:02,526 --> 00:01:04,894
Remember when you got those chimes,
and there was that girl?
33
00:01:04,928 --> 00:01:06,695
Yeah.
34
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:09,098
- What's happening?
- I don't know. I don't get it.
35
00:01:09,132 --> 00:01:10,699
I had so much sex on patio furniture.
36
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:11,767
- A lot of fun.
- The best.
37
00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:14,104
- I'm still mad at you.
- I'm mad at you, man!
38
00:01:15,472 --> 00:01:17,640
I need everyone to shut up
39
00:01:17,674 --> 00:01:20,809
and answer
one... simple... question!
40
00:01:22,337 --> 00:01:25,510
You sons a bitches ready to party?
41
00:01:25,545 --> 00:01:26,782
Yeah!
42
00:01:26,816 --> 00:01:29,718
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
43
00:01:29,753 --> 00:01:31,186
♪ Who's that girl?
44
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,819
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess ♪
45
00:01:33,756 --> 00:01:35,568
Good to have you back, old man.
46
00:01:35,603 --> 00:01:37,560
So, what, uh,
you and Malia broke up?
47
00:01:37,594 --> 00:01:40,596
Oh, yeah. She got real fat on me,
so I was, like, "Ew. Bye."
48
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:43,065
I guess her gain is our gain!
49
00:01:43,099 --> 00:01:44,799
(Laughs)
Who are you?
50
00:01:45,168 --> 00:01:47,534
- Hey, come... Come on, man.
- It's me, Jess.
51
00:01:47,537 --> 00:01:49,038
Ah, yeah, no.
52
00:01:49,072 --> 00:01:50,439
We lived together
for, like, two weeks.
53
00:01:50,473 --> 00:01:51,774
We shared
some pretty big moments.
54
00:01:51,808 --> 00:01:55,544
- Yes! We got Bin Laden!
- SEAL Team 6, bitches!
55
00:01:55,579 --> 00:01:57,279
BOTH:
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
56
00:01:57,314 --> 00:02:00,282
Huh.
I thought I was alone for that.
57
00:02:00,317 --> 00:02:01,850
- You weren't.
- Anyway,
58
00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:04,820
I'm single, and me and my boys
are gonna get crazy tonight!
59
00:02:04,854 --> 00:02:06,155
Huh?
60
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:08,591
You know what I'm talking about,
Shrimp Forks.
61
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:09,892
- SCHMIDT: Oh, man.
- NICK: Oh, no.
62
00:02:09,926 --> 00:02:11,560
What's Shrimp Forks?
63
00:02:11,595 --> 00:02:13,829
It's a name I gave Winston
when we played hoops.
64
00:02:13,863 --> 00:02:16,498
The ball used to always slip
through his little, small girly hands.
65
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:18,400
Winston Bishop, point guard...
66
00:02:18,435 --> 00:02:19,635
(Muttering, grunts)
67
00:02:19,669 --> 00:02:22,171
Winston Bishop, point guard, R...
68
00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:23,405
Point guard, R...
69
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,975
He couldn't palm an apple.
Old Shrimp Forks.
70
00:02:26,009 --> 00:02:28,010
So, I'm thinking strip club tonight?
71
00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:31,180
- Hmm?
- JESS: Oh, fun, fun! Fun! Fun!
72
00:02:31,214 --> 00:02:34,149
Uh, Nick, can I talk to you in
the other room alone for a sec?
73
00:02:35,384 --> 00:02:37,519
Should I close the door,
or do you want to just do it quietly?
74
00:02:37,554 --> 00:02:38,654
We're not having sex, Nick.
75
00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:39,922
No, I know that.
76
00:02:39,956 --> 00:02:41,490
- You wanted to come here and talk.
- Yeah.
77
00:02:41,524 --> 00:02:43,792
A strip club
on a Tuesday night?
78
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:46,161
No, I know, I know, but this is
just what we always used to do.
79
00:02:46,196 --> 00:02:47,496
I don't want to be one
of those girls,
80
00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:49,632
but I feel kind of
uncomfortable about it.
81
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,800
- I totally get it.
- Let's go, Nick.
82
00:02:51,835 --> 00:02:53,669
These dollar bills aren't gonna
stick themselves in a thong.
83
00:02:53,703 --> 00:02:54,970
I'm coming, my man.
84
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,205
Right on.
85
00:02:56,239 --> 00:02:58,340
I might...
I might be coming, my man.
86
00:02:58,375 --> 00:03:01,187
- Oh, I get it. You're whipped.
- No, I'm not.
87
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,878
I know you had to check in
with your girlfriend.
88
00:03:02,912 --> 00:03:04,913
We haven't even discussed
the girlfriend-boyfriend thing.
89
00:03:04,948 --> 00:03:06,415
Oh, cool, man. Let's go.
90
00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:08,350
- (Chuckles)
- (Gasps) What?
91
00:03:09,352 --> 00:03:11,120
(Scoffs)
92
00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,287
What a...
93
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,056
- I'm sorry, what did I just hear?
- What I...
94
00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:15,591
All I said was we haven't had
95
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:17,459
the girlfriend-boyfriend discussion,
which we haven't.
96
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:18,794
You don't think
you're my boyfriend?
97
00:03:18,828 --> 00:03:20,462
No, I never said that.
98
00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:21,563
I'm just talking terminology.
99
00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:23,165
We've never had the terminology.
100
00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:24,199
- We've never had the terminology.
- What?
101
00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:26,001
We've never used the terminology.
102
00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:27,302
It's funny you act like
you're my boyfriend,
103
00:03:27,303 --> 00:03:29,060
you have all the "privileges"
of being my boyfriend.
104
00:03:29,095 --> 00:03:29,838
I enjoy them.
105
00:03:29,873 --> 00:03:30,939
Would like me to revoke
those privileges?
106
00:03:30,974 --> 00:03:33,108
No, you're twisting my words.
107
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,510
What I'm saying, Jess,
108
00:03:34,544 --> 00:03:36,378
is we've never had
the boyfriend-girlfriend,
109
00:03:36,413 --> 00:03:38,681
seeing other people conversation.
110
00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,083
We haven't had the seeing
other people conversation?
111
00:03:41,117 --> 00:03:42,851
You're seeing other people?
112
00:03:42,886 --> 00:03:44,219
No, I'm not. Are you?
113
00:03:44,254 --> 00:03:45,921
- No.
- Jess, I'm just...
114
00:03:45,955 --> 00:03:48,824
We haven't had
the conversation is all,
115
00:03:48,858 --> 00:03:50,092
and it's a conversation
116
00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:53,228
that I, personally,
would love to have.
117
00:03:53,263 --> 00:03:54,863
Uh, dude, let's go.
It's gonna close.
118
00:03:54,898 --> 00:03:56,598
Geez, is she not letting you go?
119
00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:59,401
I'm just telling her what kind
of cake to bake me, son.
120
00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:00,936
Oh.
121
00:04:00,970 --> 00:04:02,204
Damn!
122
00:04:02,238 --> 00:04:04,306
That's right. All right.
123
00:04:05,442 --> 00:04:06,675
What are you doing?!
124
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,410
- I don't know.
- What are you doing?!
125
00:04:08,445 --> 00:04:09,778
Jess, it's when Coach is here,
126
00:04:09,813 --> 00:04:11,847
- I just...
- No.
127
00:04:11,881 --> 00:04:13,315
Nick!
128
00:04:13,349 --> 00:04:16,251
- I'm really sorry.
- Guess what, Nick?
129
00:04:16,286 --> 00:04:17,820
I'm going out tonight
130
00:04:17,854 --> 00:04:19,521
because we haven't had
the boyfriend-girlfriend talk,
131
00:04:19,556 --> 00:04:21,724
and we haven't had
the seeing other people talk,
132
00:04:21,758 --> 00:04:25,227
and I'm gonna bake a cake,
a pineapple upside down cake.
133
00:04:25,261 --> 00:04:26,995
- In terms of the metaphor, I'm really...
- Don't!
134
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,330
Go to the strip club, Nick.
135
00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:29,698
Knock yourself out.
136
00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,900
Oh, don't wait up, Jebecca.
137
00:04:31,935 --> 00:04:32,968
Yeah, it's Jess.
138
00:04:33,002 --> 00:04:34,069
Right on.
139
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,907
Men suck.
140
00:04:38,942 --> 00:04:40,776
- Nick isn't even a man.
- Mm-mm.
141
00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:44,613
He's like some man-boy,
man-child hybrid.
142
00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:47,916
The other day, I had to tell him
not to pull a dog's tail.
143
00:04:47,951 --> 00:04:49,818
I shouldn't have to do that.
144
00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:53,455
If a guy wants to play games, Jess,
you got to play them right back.
145
00:04:53,490 --> 00:04:54,823
- Right, good.
- Yeah.
146
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,558
What does that mean?
147
00:04:56,593 --> 00:04:58,994
- I'd make him jealous.
- Yeah, right, yeah.
148
00:04:59,028 --> 00:05:00,696
And there are
a lot of guys out there
149
00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:01,997
that want to hook up with you.
150
00:05:02,031 --> 00:05:03,499
There is this one guy, Artie,
151
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,467
from the coffee shop
who asked me out.
152
00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:06,935
Oh, actually,
you have my number.
153
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:09,571
So give me a call.
Maybe we can go out sometime.
154
00:05:09,606 --> 00:05:11,740
Shut your face!
155
00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:14,309
You should maybe give this guy,
Artie, a call and see...
156
00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:15,644
No, that's too real.
157
00:05:15,678 --> 00:05:17,179
That's just way too real.
158
00:05:17,213 --> 00:05:18,580
Then why do you have his number
in your phone?
159
00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:20,115
I just like looking at it.
It's not weird.
160
00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:22,217
- No.
- But it has, like...
161
00:05:22,252 --> 00:05:24,820
a lot of fours in it.
162
00:05:24,854 --> 00:05:27,256
You know,
you know what I mean?
163
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,124
No, I don't.
164
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,327
(Music playing)
165
00:05:32,362 --> 00:05:34,797
Oh, which one of y'all
want a lap dance,
166
00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:37,633
because WB just hit the ATM.
167
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,868
- Oh, hold up.
- Mm-hmm.
168
00:05:39,903 --> 00:05:41,270
Shrimp Forks, why'd you get
so much Bunny Money?
169
00:05:41,304 --> 00:05:42,337
What is Bunny Money?
170
00:05:42,372 --> 00:05:43,505
That is Bunny Money.
171
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:45,941
That's not real money.
Look at the bill.
172
00:05:45,975 --> 00:05:47,776
President Rabbit
with two big ass jugs.
173
00:05:47,811 --> 00:05:50,312
Damn, man.
174
00:05:50,346 --> 00:05:52,648
It's fine. As long as you didn't
take out too much, you're okay.
175
00:05:52,682 --> 00:05:54,616
Hey, Schmidt,
I took out $2,000.
176
00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:56,318
(Laughter)
177
00:05:56,352 --> 00:05:58,453
You keep making mistakes,
Winston.
178
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,422
Oh, isn't this great, guy?
179
00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:01,690
- Awesome.
- Yeah, man, the best.
180
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:03,125
And it's gonna keep
getting better,
181
00:06:03,159 --> 00:06:05,664
because we're not leaving here
until the sun comes up.
182
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,629
- Whew.
- Hey, yo, brick top!
183
00:06:07,664 --> 00:06:09,498
We about to get it popping.
184
00:06:09,532 --> 00:06:11,200
Whistle while you twerk!
185
00:06:11,234 --> 00:06:12,334
(Whooping)
186
00:06:12,368 --> 00:06:13,402
That man has so much confidence.
187
00:06:13,436 --> 00:06:14,603
It's amazing.
188
00:06:14,637 --> 00:06:15,838
Until the morning?
I can't do this, Schmidt.
189
00:06:15,872 --> 00:06:16,972
I'm having anxiety here.
190
00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:18,941
I have an 8:00 a.m. presentation.
That means
191
00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:21,276
I have to get there at 7:45
to lower everyone's chairs.
192
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:22,945
Jess hasn't texted me back.
I'm starting to freak out.
193
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:24,179
Here's what I think we should do.
194
00:06:24,214 --> 00:06:26,148
I think you should be the one
to just kind of tell him
195
00:06:26,182 --> 00:06:27,382
that we want to leave
and that maybe
196
00:06:27,417 --> 00:06:28,383
you want to leave
and then we'll all go together.
197
00:06:28,418 --> 00:06:29,818
Why do I have to be the heavy?
198
00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:30,986
All right, fellas!
199
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,821
(Laughter)
All right, he's back!
200
00:06:32,856 --> 00:06:34,423
So I got dancers for each of us,
201
00:06:34,457 --> 00:06:36,825
plus one floater to play the zone.
202
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,360
Oh, defense!
203
00:06:38,394 --> 00:06:41,129
- Yeah!
- Here's a crazy idea.
204
00:06:41,164 --> 00:06:43,465
- Shoot, man.
- What if we got out of here,
205
00:06:43,499 --> 00:06:45,868
went back to the loft
and just hung out?
206
00:06:45,902 --> 00:06:48,103
You're going through a big breakup.
Let's talk it out, man.
207
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:49,338
Yeah, yeah, let's just, um,
208
00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:50,739
go home and talk feelings.
209
00:06:50,773 --> 00:06:52,207
- No.
- Mm-mm.
210
00:06:52,242 --> 00:06:53,909
I was with Malia, now I'm not.
211
00:06:53,943 --> 00:06:55,677
There, we talked about it.
212
00:06:55,712 --> 00:06:57,079
Oh, look at the time.
213
00:06:57,113 --> 00:06:58,680
It's butt o'clock.
214
00:06:58,715 --> 00:06:59,948
- You whipped.
- Shut up, Schmidt.
215
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,149
- You whipped.
- Straight-up whipped.
216
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:02,251
I'm not whipped.
217
00:07:02,285 --> 00:07:03,418
- Whipped like cream cheese.
- Yeah, you are.
218
00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:05,287
- Whipped like cream cheese.
- Whipped!
219
00:07:05,321 --> 00:07:07,623
So, Cece, I'm thinking
of firing off this text to Nick.
220
00:07:07,657 --> 00:07:09,458
"Loving single life."
221
00:07:09,492 --> 00:07:11,960
Should I add a "whoo-hoo"
or is that too bitchy?
222
00:07:11,995 --> 00:07:13,795
Look who I called.
223
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:15,831
Hey, Jess.
224
00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:19,868
Shut your face.
225
00:07:19,903 --> 00:07:21,403
What?
226
00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:25,536
Oh, looks like you could
use a new drink.
227
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:29,361
(Sniffs) Barkeep, can I please
get a Shirley Temple
228
00:07:29,395 --> 00:07:33,265
with a finger of coconut rum
and a lemon squeeze?
229
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:35,734
I call it a Temple Grandin
because it makes friendly
230
00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:37,202
and compassionate.
231
00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:40,038
(Cece and Artie chuckle)
(Laughing): I have a boyfriend.
232
00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:41,373
No, she... No, she doesn't.
233
00:07:41,407 --> 00:07:42,741
Yeah, I do. She do.
234
00:07:42,775 --> 00:07:44,409
- No.
- Obviously, this is a bad time,
235
00:07:44,444 --> 00:07:46,578
and, uh, you're involved.
236
00:07:46,612 --> 00:07:47,646
In some shape or other.
237
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,147
No, no, no.
She's free as a bird.
238
00:07:49,182 --> 00:07:50,215
- (Quietly): Cece.
- All right,
239
00:07:50,249 --> 00:07:52,851
well, he's a very lucky man.
I hope he realizes that.
240
00:07:52,885 --> 00:07:55,120
Oh, don't move.
241
00:07:55,154 --> 00:07:57,122
You've got an eyelash.
242
00:07:57,156 --> 00:07:59,057
There we go. Make a wish.
243
00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:00,959
I'm afraid to.
(Chuckles)
244
00:08:00,994 --> 00:08:03,061
All right, take care.
245
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:05,230
Big mistake.
246
00:08:05,264 --> 00:08:07,065
I shook his hand. I had my fun.
247
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:09,334
Do you think that Nick
is in the strip club right now
248
00:08:09,369 --> 00:08:11,336
shaking hands? No.
249
00:08:11,371 --> 00:08:13,338
Because he is a man.
250
00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:14,506
You can't trust them, Jess.
251
00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:16,742
Okay? The moment
you let your guard down,
252
00:08:16,776 --> 00:08:19,411
they just walk all over you.
253
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,680
Tonight is the night to beat them
at their own game.
254
00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,350
Hey, Artie!
255
00:08:25,385 --> 00:08:27,686
Bet you can't lift me!
256
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,888
(Music playing, men whooping)
257
00:08:29,922 --> 00:08:32,157
Uh, all sales
of Bunny Money are final.
258
00:08:32,191 --> 00:08:35,427
How am I supposed
to spend $2,000 on dancers?
259
00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:37,095
Oh, no.
Our dancers don't take it.
260
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:38,873
- What?
- However, uh,
261
00:08:38,878 --> 00:08:40,382
Bunny Money is redeemable
at the bar,
262
00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:43,335
our gift shop and our sister club
in Fort Myers, Florida.
263
00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:44,703
What?!
264
00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:46,071
Body shot.
265
00:08:46,105 --> 00:08:47,739
(Nick chuckles)
266
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:50,742
You taste delicious,
do you know that?
267
00:08:50,777 --> 00:08:52,010
What is that? An aftertaste?
268
00:08:52,045 --> 00:08:53,612
- Probably baby formula.
- Oh...
269
00:08:53,646 --> 00:08:54,613
NICK:
Tuesday nights!
270
00:08:54,647 --> 00:08:56,615
Girl, you are a pistol.
271
00:08:56,649 --> 00:08:58,350
(Chuckles)
I'll tell you what,
272
00:08:58,384 --> 00:09:00,685
how 'bout you and me go back
273
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,221
and I dance on you this time?
274
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:04,923
(Laughter)
275
00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:07,459
Oh, man.
276
00:09:07,493 --> 00:09:08,794
Tuesdays nights.
277
00:09:08,828 --> 00:09:10,629
You know, for a chub,
you're a terrible heavy.
278
00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:13,565
Let's just get Coach really drunk
until he passes out.
279
00:09:13,599 --> 00:09:15,874
Then we take him home.
Shot contest.
280
00:09:15,909 --> 00:09:17,869
Like in Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Schmidt.
281
00:09:17,904 --> 00:09:19,476
I'm not ripping a page
from that pro-Nazi film.
282
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:20,777
It isn't pro-Nazi.
283
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:22,941
Of course it is. It might as
well be an SS propaganda movie.
284
00:09:22,975 --> 00:09:25,343
No, everybody in a Nazi uniform
literally dies.
285
00:09:25,378 --> 00:09:27,709
Yeah, the...
When she puts the hand
286
00:09:27,744 --> 00:09:29,047
- into the, uh...
- The heart.
287
00:09:29,082 --> 00:09:31,850
No, not...
Well, that happens, too. Nazis.
288
00:09:31,884 --> 00:09:33,652
I don't think that makes you a Nazi.
289
00:09:33,686 --> 00:09:35,454
They ate the monkey brains,
and there was all the bugs.
290
00:09:35,488 --> 00:09:37,122
Nazi, Nazi.
291
00:09:37,156 --> 00:09:38,490
Nick's at a strip club,
292
00:09:38,524 --> 00:09:40,792
but he's just being a normal guy
in his 20s that wants
293
00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:42,961
to hang out with other guys
in their 20s.
294
00:09:42,995 --> 00:09:44,663
They're all in their 30s.
295
00:09:44,697 --> 00:09:46,131
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
296
00:09:46,165 --> 00:09:47,466
Enough about Nick.
297
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:48,834
What do you do
298
00:09:48,868 --> 00:09:50,669
when you're not making coffee
at the coffee shop?
299
00:09:50,703 --> 00:09:53,338
- Well, actually, I own the coffee shop.
- What?
300
00:09:53,372 --> 00:09:54,840
It's not as glamorous
as you may think.
301
00:09:54,874 --> 00:09:56,274
It's a lot of spreadsheets
302
00:09:56,309 --> 00:09:58,777
and jetting off to Brazil
at a moment's notice.
303
00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:00,779
Nick's never been to Brazil.
304
00:10:00,813 --> 00:10:02,214
Maybe you should step away.
305
00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:05,784
You know, call Nick up
and hash things out.
306
00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:07,085
Hmm-mm, can't call Nick
'cause then he'll know
307
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,086
I'm thinking about him.
308
00:10:08,121 --> 00:10:09,788
- Ah.
- And then he wins.
309
00:10:09,822 --> 00:10:11,423
Maybe you both win.
310
00:10:11,457 --> 00:10:12,591
Say Brazil again.
311
00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:13,925
Brazil.
312
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,293
(Chuckles)
313
00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:18,263
Say "rubber baby buggy bumpers."
314
00:10:18,297 --> 00:10:20,065
Rubber babby buggy bumpers.
315
00:10:20,099 --> 00:10:21,633
Oh, my God!
316
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,768
SCHMIDT:
Shot contest isn't working.
317
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:25,270
It's only making him stronger.
318
00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:27,939
(Phone rings)
It's Jess.
319
00:10:27,974 --> 00:10:30,709
Hey, Jess,
I'm so glad you called!
320
00:10:30,743 --> 00:10:32,611
Nick, can I talk to you
for a second?
321
00:10:32,645 --> 00:10:35,380
Oh, is that, uh,
Notorious N.A.G.?
322
00:10:35,414 --> 00:10:37,315
- Hey!
- Is that Naggie Gyllenhaal?
323
00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:41,453
Hey, I don't need your help
checking my woman.
324
00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,188
You're checking your woman?
325
00:10:43,222 --> 00:10:44,723
Wait, how did you hear that?
326
00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:47,192
You were covering
the listening part, dummy.
327
00:10:47,226 --> 00:10:48,360
Yeah, but they look the same.
328
00:10:48,394 --> 00:10:49,728
I'm too drunk.
329
00:10:49,762 --> 00:10:51,997
Well, I'm way drunk, too,
and I'm with a man.
330
00:10:52,031 --> 00:10:53,732
What?
331
00:10:53,766 --> 00:10:56,334
He owns a business,
and he goes to Brazil.
332
00:10:57,331 --> 00:10:59,155
- Nick?
- Oh, it's a coin flip.
333
00:10:59,205 --> 00:11:00,305
Hello?
334
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:02,040
(Scoffs)
He's so immature.
335
00:11:02,074 --> 00:11:04,075
Jess!
336
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,477
Jess, I got it.
337
00:11:05,511 --> 00:11:06,878
ARTIE: Hey, I think you guys
have had enough.
338
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:08,480
Why don't you let me
give you a ride home?
339
00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:09,748
Wait, you weren't drinking?
340
00:11:09,782 --> 00:11:11,149
Oh, no, no, no, I don't drink.
341
00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:12,884
I got to get a jump on the morning.
342
00:11:12,919 --> 00:11:14,691
Well, you really have it together.
343
00:11:14,726 --> 00:11:16,955
I bet you can use a phone, too.
344
00:11:16,989 --> 00:11:19,457
Your bar for having it together
is set pretty low.
345
00:11:19,492 --> 00:11:21,660
I don't think this
is such a good idea.
346
00:11:21,694 --> 00:11:24,663
- We can just grab a cab home.
- Cece, this was your idea.
347
00:11:24,697 --> 00:11:26,765
Artie, can we take your jet?
348
00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:29,367
Oh, it's just one coffee shop.
349
00:11:29,402 --> 00:11:31,269
Wouldn't you like to know?
350
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:34,539
ANNOUNCER: All right, guys,
give it up for Candy!
351
00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:35,874
Is that lobster gray?
352
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:36,942
Most expensive thing on the menu.
353
00:11:36,976 --> 00:11:38,877
I got to go.
354
00:11:38,911 --> 00:11:39,878
What?
355
00:11:39,912 --> 00:11:41,613
Jess is drinking
and talking to some guy.
356
00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:44,382
Forget her, dude.
Relationships are prisons.
357
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,585
How often do we get
to hang out like this?
358
00:11:46,619 --> 00:11:47,886
I haven't seen you in two years.
359
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,888
Strippers and booze forever.
360
00:11:49,922 --> 00:11:50,989
- Hear, hear.
- There it is.
361
00:11:51,023 --> 00:11:52,190
No, stop, no, no.
362
00:11:52,225 --> 00:11:55,227
Relationships are not prisons,
363
00:11:55,261 --> 00:11:56,561
and Jess is amazing.
364
00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:59,097
She's sexy
365
00:11:59,131 --> 00:12:00,599
and sweet,
366
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,934
and I can't lose her.
367
00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:05,470
So I'm going home to see her.
368
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:08,440
(Sobbing)
369
00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:13,111
Why are you crying?
We can see each other tomorrow.
370
00:12:13,145 --> 00:12:15,680
I didn't break up with Malia,
all right?
371
00:12:16,315 --> 00:12:19,551
- She broke up with me.
- Why didn't you say anything, man?
372
00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:21,553
'Cause I was embarrassed,
Winston.
373
00:12:22,688 --> 00:12:23,822
I lost her.
374
00:12:23,856 --> 00:12:26,491
I was just trying to fill a void
with all these naked chicks.
375
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:29,561
I don't want to be here.
I want to be in love.
376
00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:32,230
Oh, Coach, this is so pathetic.
377
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:35,857
Now she's dating
some dude named Derrique.
378
00:12:35,892 --> 00:12:37,669
Or Derek.
379
00:12:37,703 --> 00:12:40,105
Coach, you need to go home,
and I need to go home, too.
380
00:12:40,139 --> 00:12:41,439
You're right, man.
381
00:12:41,474 --> 00:12:43,575
You have to fight
for your relationships.
382
00:12:43,609 --> 00:12:45,243
- Freaking Derrique.
- Let's go.
383
00:12:45,278 --> 00:12:47,245
Mm-mmm, guys, guys,
you cannot leave.
384
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,314
Dude, I was just crying.
I want to get out of here.
385
00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:50,982
It's embarrassing.
He cried in a strip club.
386
00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:52,751
All the dudes saw me cry.
Dude, I want to leave.
387
00:12:52,785 --> 00:12:55,453
Man, I got Bunny Money
coming out of my pockets.
388
00:12:56,488 --> 00:12:58,857
Wait a minute,
this ain't the way home.
389
00:12:58,891 --> 00:13:00,992
Yeah, we're just gonna make
a quick stop.
390
00:13:01,027 --> 00:13:04,429
We're gonna kick
Malia's boyfriend's ass.
391
00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:06,598
NICK:
Wait, this is a police station?
392
00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:07,599
Uh-huh, that's where he works.
393
00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:09,768
You want to drunk fight a cop?
394
00:13:09,802 --> 00:13:12,404
He stole my girlfriend.
395
00:13:12,438 --> 00:13:13,938
Did you hear the joke
about the two black guys
396
00:13:13,973 --> 00:13:15,940
and two white guys who walked
into a police station?
397
00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:19,010
- The two white guys came out.
- I'm with Winston.
398
00:13:19,045 --> 00:13:20,011
- Winston?
- Mm-hmm?
399
00:13:20,046 --> 00:13:23,148
I got two of these,
and you got one more of those.
400
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:24,683
- Put that away.
- Coach!
401
00:13:24,717 --> 00:13:25,784
SCHMIDT:
Coach, let's do it.
402
00:13:25,818 --> 00:13:26,951
- Coach, no!
- Let's get raucous.
403
00:13:26,986 --> 00:13:28,453
- I'm ready.
- We're not ready!
404
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,751
- SCHMIDT: He is pure life force.
- NICK: He's a lunatic, man.
405
00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:32,752
I got to get out of here.
406
00:13:32,786 --> 00:13:34,153
I want to go, too.
I got a work thing.
407
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:36,422
- Well, I got a girl thing, dude.
- Work trumps girls.
408
00:13:36,456 --> 00:13:37,857
Girls are replaceable.
Jobs are forever.
409
00:13:37,891 --> 00:13:40,192
I bet I get left with the fare.
I just bet...
410
00:13:40,227 --> 00:13:41,727
Hey, driver,
let me just ask you something.
411
00:13:41,762 --> 00:13:43,396
Do you like strippers?
412
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:46,332
Do you also like the deal
of a lifetime?
413
00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:47,700
I wanted to leave first.
414
00:13:47,734 --> 00:13:49,235
I've been saying that
the whole night,
415
00:13:49,269 --> 00:13:50,870
and none of you guys
can stop me.
416
00:13:50,904 --> 00:13:53,205
You think that you can...
you can...
417
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,509
beat me in a physical altercation
of fisticuffs?
418
00:13:56,543 --> 00:13:58,344
I will beat you in a way
419
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:01,180
that you've never been beaten before.
420
00:14:02,582 --> 00:14:03,949
Ooh.
421
00:14:03,984 --> 00:14:04,984
Damn it!
422
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,218
You got hit in the face, son.
423
00:14:06,253 --> 00:14:07,953
Hit me again.
424
00:14:07,988 --> 00:14:09,622
'Cause I swear
425
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:11,057
you'll be... I'll be...
426
00:14:11,091 --> 00:14:15,361
Loosen up your neck so I can put you
into the headlock of a lifetime.
427
00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:16,996
Guys, it's escalating, look!
428
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,198
I'm a cop, pew, pew, pew.
429
00:14:19,232 --> 00:14:21,400
No, no, no, no, no.
430
00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:23,302
JESS:
Thanks for the ride, Artie.
431
00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:24,904
Bathroom's down the hall.
432
00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:26,138
It's the one with the urinals.
433
00:14:26,173 --> 00:14:27,540
I do live with men.
434
00:14:27,574 --> 00:14:29,575
Nay, boys.
435
00:14:29,609 --> 00:14:32,378
(Chuckles)
436
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,547
Look, if he can pee in Brazil,
437
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,981
he can pee at my house.
438
00:14:36,016 --> 00:14:37,349
- Do you actually like this guy?
- What?
439
00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:39,518
No, no.
440
00:14:39,553 --> 00:14:42,154
Nick couldn't call me his girlfriend,
441
00:14:42,189 --> 00:14:43,789
and that hurt.
442
00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:47,193
Now I want to hurt him back
with some long,
443
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:50,329
hot conversation.
444
00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:51,897
- That's what you really want to do?
- Yes.
445
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,432
Men suck, remember?
446
00:14:53,467 --> 00:14:54,867
I'm sorry about saying that,
447
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,836
because I put that on you,
all right?
448
00:14:56,870 --> 00:15:00,206
That's because I'm going through
something right now with Schmidt.
449
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,908
- You have Nick.
- Nick's a child
450
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,877
who drinks on Tuesdays.
451
00:15:04,911 --> 00:15:07,012
You're drinking on a Tuesday
and you are a teacher.
452
00:15:07,047 --> 00:15:09,014
Those kids are watching
a movie tomorrow.
453
00:15:09,049 --> 00:15:11,250
Look, Nick doesn't have a life plan.
454
00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,952
He doesn't have a day plan.
455
00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:15,087
I once found a note
he wrote to himself
456
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,856
that said "Put on pants"
457
00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:19,191
followed by a question mark.
458
00:15:19,226 --> 00:15:21,894
That means it read,
"Put on pants?"
459
00:15:21,928 --> 00:15:25,064
Also, he throws pizza at seagulls,
460
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:29,268
which I guess is kind of nice
because he's trying to feed them.
461
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:30,269
(Chuckles)
462
00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:33,172
And he's a really,
463
00:15:33,206 --> 00:15:35,107
really great kisser.
464
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,643
You have something really good.
465
00:15:37,677 --> 00:15:39,745
(Chuckles)
466
00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:43,716
Just go get Artie and tell him
to leave, all right?
467
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:44,950
Can you just get Derek?!
468
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,152
Hey! Hey!
469
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:47,253
SCHMIDT:
He's gonna get the whole precinct!
470
00:15:47,287 --> 00:15:48,888
This is a high-income area.
471
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,788
They're very bored in there.
472
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:54,260
Oh, my goodness,
this jacket smells like gasoline.
473
00:15:54,294 --> 00:15:56,295
Guys, come on.
474
00:15:56,329 --> 00:15:58,464
Come on, man,
we're too old for this.
475
00:15:58,498 --> 00:16:01,801
- We're too old for this whole night.
- What?
476
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,069
Life changes.
You got to grow up.
477
00:16:04,104 --> 00:16:07,072
I did. I'm in a relationship,
and I'm happy.
478
00:16:07,107 --> 00:16:09,775
Schmidt moved out of the loft,
and he's happy.
479
00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:11,076
I'm miserable!
480
00:16:11,111 --> 00:16:13,012
- It's your fault.
- What are you talking about?
481
00:16:13,046 --> 00:16:14,513
I'm in a vacancy room!
482
00:16:14,548 --> 00:16:17,483
- A room of vacancy! Empty nest!
- By choice! By choice!
483
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:19,185
Let me tell you something,
when I'm done with you,
484
00:16:19,219 --> 00:16:20,486
your face is gonna look
all melted
485
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,087
like the president
at the end of Raiders.
486
00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:23,522
He wasn't a president!
You saw a different movie
487
00:16:23,557 --> 00:16:25,958
- than everybody else in the world!
- I'll kill you!
488
00:16:25,992 --> 00:16:27,459
- He wasn't a president.
- WINSTON: Guys, guys!
489
00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:28,894
Kick you in the butt!
490
00:16:28,929 --> 00:16:30,362
- Don't! You touched my penis!
- Hey, hey!
491
00:16:30,397 --> 00:16:31,697
Don't touch my penis!
492
00:16:31,731 --> 00:16:32,832
Stop! Stop it!
493
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,300
- You just touched my penis!
- Hey! Hey!
494
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:36,202
You touched my...
495
00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:37,503
(Groans)
496
00:16:37,537 --> 00:16:38,737
You guys, grow up!
497
00:16:38,772 --> 00:16:42,675
- You grow up. Grow up!
- Coach? What are you doing here?
498
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:44,476
(Scoffs)
499
00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:48,781
- Is this about Malia?
- Yeah, it's about Malia.
500
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:55,903
Take care of her, man.
501
00:16:56,489 --> 00:16:58,123
Yeah, I will.
502
00:16:58,158 --> 00:17:00,359
I'm a cop,
503
00:17:00,393 --> 00:17:02,027
not some drunk loser.
504
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,164
Get out of here.
505
00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,036
Should we grow up
tomorrow night?
506
00:17:12,739 --> 00:17:14,240
Yeah.
507
00:17:14,274 --> 00:17:15,507
SCHMIDT:
Muscle time!
508
00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:16,609
- Get on the ground!
- Muscle time!
509
00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:18,677
- I'm a cop!
- Back up!
510
00:17:18,712 --> 00:17:20,479
- I got a badge and a gun!
- Arrest me, dude!
511
00:17:20,513 --> 00:17:21,814
(Indistinct shouting)
512
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:23,682
He's got backup! Go! Go!
513
00:17:23,717 --> 00:17:25,217
- Go! Go!
- Go!
514
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,152
NICK:
Serpentine!
515
00:17:27,187 --> 00:17:29,121
Serpentine!
516
00:17:29,155 --> 00:17:31,156
(Yelling, panting)
517
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,229
Artie, I have to hit the hay.
518
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,001
Oh, dear!
519
00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:43,168
Don't worry.
520
00:17:43,203 --> 00:17:45,204
I'm gonna make you coffee
in the morning.
521
00:17:51,087 --> 00:17:54,329
It's been a really great evening,
what a treat it's been,
522
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,657
but I think somewhere
along the way,
523
00:17:56,692 --> 00:17:57,825
some signals got crossed.
524
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:00,294
Signals could not have been
any clearer.
525
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,963
- (Chuckles)
- Come on in.
526
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:03,998
The water's warm.
527
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:07,235
Are you splashing me?
528
00:18:07,269 --> 00:18:08,636
I'm fixing to mix you up.
529
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,137
Seriously?
530
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,973
Oh, men are such dicks.
531
00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:17,845
(Elevator bell dings, whooping)
532
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,113
All right, guys, second wind.
533
00:18:19,147 --> 00:18:21,682
You got an old TV?
Let's throw it off the roof.
534
00:18:21,717 --> 00:18:24,151
Come on,
you're crashing with me.
535
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,188
And you,
go talk to your girlfriend.
536
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,656
Thanks.
537
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,925
Hey, it was a fun night.
538
00:18:30,959 --> 00:18:32,693
All right, guys.
539
00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:33,794
Let's go, Shrimp Forks.
540
00:18:33,829 --> 00:18:36,097
Coach, Shrimp Forks?
541
00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:37,632
Come on, man,
that makes no sense.
542
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:39,333
I played professional basketball.
543
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,835
You got to stop calling me that.
544
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,336
I'm sorry, man.
545
00:18:43,071 --> 00:18:44,672
Hop along, Bunny Money.
546
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,407
Better than Shrimp Forks.
547
00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:47,942
- I'll take that.
- Fantastic.
548
00:18:47,976 --> 00:18:49,911
It only cost you $2,000.
549
00:18:49,945 --> 00:18:51,345
It did, didn't it?
550
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,916
The Brazilians have the same word
for making love to one woman
551
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,385
as they do
for making love to two.
552
00:18:58,627 --> 00:19:01,449
Mah-gaa-leesh.
553
00:19:02,124 --> 00:19:03,958
Take off your tops
and say it with me.
554
00:19:03,992 --> 00:19:04,825
Jess!
555
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,527
Oh, my God, that's Nick!
556
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:08,930
Okay, okay,
you-you just get him dressed.
557
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,131
I will stall Nick.
558
00:19:10,165 --> 00:19:11,632
I am really good
at this kind of thing.
559
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,301
Oh, my God.
560
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:14,669
Nick, hey, great.
561
00:19:14,703 --> 00:19:16,437
I've been wanting to talk to you
about this side table.
562
00:19:16,471 --> 00:19:17,872
What kind of wood is it
made out of?
563
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:18,873
Jess, I failed!
564
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,074
- Jess.
- (Gasps)
565
00:19:21,276 --> 00:19:23,477
Welcome, brother.
566
00:19:23,512 --> 00:19:25,313
JESS:
Oh, my God.
567
00:19:25,347 --> 00:19:27,248
Nick, I can't imagine what
you must be thinking right now.
568
00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:28,849
Actually, I can.
569
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:30,017
This is your worst nightmare.
570
00:19:30,052 --> 00:19:31,585
There's a very good-looking man
in my bed,
571
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:32,653
and he's naked,
572
00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:34,922
and I'm flushed,
and I'm flustered.
573
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,391
I might as well just spray paint
"Jay Cutler sucks" on the wall
574
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,226
and just round
out the whole image, right?
575
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,129
But, Nick, nothing happened,
576
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:44,598
and nothing was ever going
to happen,
577
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:47,668
and you have to believe me,
please.
578
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:51,605
Say you believe me, please.
579
00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:57,044
I believe you.
580
00:20:01,249 --> 00:20:04,018
Do you have any questions?
581
00:20:04,052 --> 00:20:06,020
Do you want me
to have questions?
582
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,922
Well...
583
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,256
Hey, Artie?
584
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,659
(Cracking knuckles)
I'm gonna need you
585
00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:13,861
to get out
of my girlfriend's bed, man.
586
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:16,864
Well, uh,
(clears throat)
587
00:20:16,898 --> 00:20:19,500
I'm naked and-and in bed,
588
00:20:19,534 --> 00:20:21,969
and you're fully clothed
and standing,
589
00:20:22,004 --> 00:20:24,472
so I mean, I hardly think
this would be a fair fight.
590
00:20:24,506 --> 00:20:26,907
Well, I'd like it to be a fair fight.
591
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,744
Thank God for snaps.
592
00:20:29,778 --> 00:20:31,379
Men are so weird.
593
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,214
I must warn you,
594
00:20:33,248 --> 00:20:36,384
while spending time in Brazil...
595
00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:39,320
Let get situated first
before we get into this thing.
596
00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:41,122
Oh, my God!
597
00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:43,691
- Bye-bye.
- Don't die, big guy.
598
00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:44,825
(Chuckling)
599
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:46,927
- Hey.
- Hey.
600
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:48,796
You called me your girlfriend.
601
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,431
Did I? I don't remember.
602
00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:51,832
(Elevator bell dings)
603
00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:56,003
Where's Winston with the food?
604
00:20:56,038 --> 00:20:58,105
(Groaning)
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
605
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,008
It was crazy at the V-Rab.
Bachelor party season.
606
00:21:01,043 --> 00:21:03,077
- I got a deep-dish gyrator, no mushrooms.
- That's me.
607
00:21:03,111 --> 00:21:04,345
Don't call it V-Rab.
608
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:06,313
(Laughter)
Please.
609
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,416
I got the main stage fish tacos.
610
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,317
- No regrets.
- Great order.
611
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,719
Pour some sugar on meatballs?
612
00:21:11,753 --> 00:21:13,154
- Oh, that's me.
- Thank you.
613
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:16,830
Let's see, and I got the short
stack ass-clap pancakes.
614
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,275
You want to switch?
615
00:21:19,514 --> 00:21:21,874
- Schmidt, you want a taco?
- No, I'm gonna take one of Winston's.
616
00:21:21,908 --> 00:21:23,542
- Take it if you want it, dude.
- I was just thinking
617
00:21:23,577 --> 00:21:26,445
maybe-maybe you guys
could chip in a little bit.
618
00:21:26,479 --> 00:21:29,180
- 'Cause it was expensive.
- You want one of Winston's tacos?
619
00:21:29,461 --> 00:21:32,104
I'll take 50 cents on the dollar,
I really would. I really would.
620
00:21:33,405 --> 00:21:34,990
Please?
621
00:21:35,391 --> 00:21:38,118
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com