1
00:00:05,853 --> 00:00:07,053
Are you ready to run?
2
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,470
I have my playlist
all ready.
3
00:00:08,472 --> 00:00:10,908
Actually, it's
Diane Keaton's autobiography,
4
00:00:10,976 --> 00:00:12,442
and she just filmed
First Wives Club,
5
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:13,511
and it's getting me pumped!
6
00:00:14,079 --> 00:00:15,879
I totally forgot
we were going to run today.
7
00:00:15,947 --> 00:00:17,681
I e-mailed you,
like, three times.
8
00:00:17,749 --> 00:00:19,349
Maybe you typed
"gmoil" again.
9
00:00:19,417 --> 00:00:21,083
No more excuses--
we have to train.
10
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,451
We signed up
for this charity run
11
00:00:22,519 --> 00:00:23,519
and now we have to do it.
12
00:00:23,587 --> 00:00:25,088
Why can't we just
donate the money?
13
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,523
Why do we have to run
the six miles first?
14
00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:29,358
That's a good point,
but, no, you're gonna go...
15
00:00:29,426 --> 00:00:30,459
Oh, no, Jess,
look, I can't go.
16
00:00:30,527 --> 00:00:32,561
I am super hungover
right now.
17
00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:34,796
Plus, Masha had
a bit of a crisis.
18
00:00:34,864 --> 00:00:36,565
She accidentally
ate a cookie.
19
00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,000
- What?
- Because she fell on it.
20
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,167
I am devastated.
21
00:00:39,235 --> 00:00:41,069
She is devastated.
22
00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:42,671
Well, why don't you
come running with us?
23
00:00:42,739 --> 00:00:44,606
- No, she definitely can't.
- You can run off that cookie.
24
00:00:44,674 --> 00:00:46,174
- It's great.
- You know what? We will
25
00:00:46,242 --> 00:00:48,110
- do it tomorrow, I promise.
- It's more money for charity.
26
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:49,711
It'll be so fun.
27
00:00:52,548 --> 00:00:54,648
I mean, that was
a close one.
28
00:00:54,715 --> 00:00:55,815
Good thing
I'm a quiet breather.
29
00:00:55,883 --> 00:00:56,817
I learned that as a kid
30
00:00:56,884 --> 00:00:57,918
playing "Who passed out?"
with my mom.
31
00:00:58,987 --> 00:01:00,387
My mom always won.
32
00:01:00,455 --> 00:01:03,290
Jew in the couch,
Jew in the couch.
33
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,894
Nadia, American manners.
34
00:01:06,962 --> 00:01:07,895
Sorry.
35
00:01:07,963 --> 00:01:10,596
Jew-Jew person in couch.
36
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:13,933
She's not wrong.
37
00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:16,836
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ Who's that girl? ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:16,837 --> 00:01:18,538
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:18,539 --> 00:01:19,873
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:22,576 --> 00:01:24,310
Okay, bye, Nick.
41
00:01:24,378 --> 00:01:26,712
So you'll call me?
42
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:29,214
Um, yeah, yeah,
I'll definitely...
43
00:01:30,283 --> 00:01:31,383
Are you, are you okay?
44
00:01:31,450 --> 00:01:32,484
I'm gonna call you.
45
00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:34,619
Um, okay.
46
00:01:34,688 --> 00:01:36,421
Do you hike?
Do you hike?
47
00:01:37,623 --> 00:01:39,524
- Okay, I...
- This was fun.
48
00:01:39,592 --> 00:01:42,293
Okay, I'll call you tonight
to make sure you're okay?
49
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:43,360
Please.
50
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,001
That was ridiculous.
51
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,402
I can't do this, Winston.
52
00:01:51,469 --> 00:01:52,636
I don't know
how to sleep
53
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:54,338
with 21-year-old girls,
54
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,740
and for the last couple weeks,
that's all
55
00:01:55,808 --> 00:01:57,107
I've been doing.
56
00:01:57,175 --> 00:01:58,541
What's going on with you?
Are you okay?
57
00:01:58,609 --> 00:02:00,043
I saw something
a few days ago.
58
00:02:00,611 --> 00:02:01,878
Now, I've been
sworn to secrecy,
59
00:02:01,946 --> 00:02:04,480
- but it is just too big.
- You know I can't keep a secret,
60
00:02:04,548 --> 00:02:06,883
I can't lie, Winston. You saw me with
that girl. - Don't leave me like this.
61
00:02:06,951 --> 00:02:08,151
Even thinking
about keeping a secret
62
00:02:08,219 --> 00:02:10,821
turns my back
into a Slip 'n Slide.
63
00:02:10,888 --> 00:02:12,689
Come on, man, you got to help
me out, okay? I'm dying.
64
00:02:12,756 --> 00:02:14,690
- I don't want to know.
- Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on...
65
00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,759
- I'm dying! I'm dying, man!
- I don't want to know.
66
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:18,194
I don't want to know!
67
00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:20,196
Cece and Schmidt are
sleeping together!
68
00:02:24,434 --> 00:02:26,936
Ew.
69
00:02:33,307 --> 00:02:34,342
It's happening
70
00:02:34,409 --> 00:02:35,877
- under our roof.
- No.
71
00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:36,477
- Yes.
- No.
72
00:02:36,545 --> 00:02:37,511
Yes!
73
00:02:37,579 --> 00:02:38,880
This makes me
hate things.
74
00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:41,116
I know, man.
It's like up is down.
75
00:02:41,183 --> 00:02:42,683
Up is the new down, man.
76
00:02:42,752 --> 00:02:45,418
Now my back is sweating.
77
00:02:45,486 --> 00:02:46,720
All right, who knows?
78
00:02:46,788 --> 00:02:47,621
Everybody
but Jess.
79
00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:49,489
Hey.
80
00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:51,223
Hey, Jess.
81
00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:52,259
We're just hanging out
in the hallway.
82
00:02:52,326 --> 00:02:53,593
What's going on?
Nothing's going on.
83
00:02:53,661 --> 00:02:54,895
Yeah, actually,
I'm really annoyed.
84
00:02:54,963 --> 00:02:56,496
Cece bailed on me again.
We were supposed
85
00:02:56,564 --> 00:02:57,731
to train for that race
this weekend.
86
00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:00,367
That is so Cece.
87
00:03:00,434 --> 00:03:01,968
I know... I mean,
88
00:03:02,535 --> 00:03:05,104
and the weird thing is that
she said she was hungover,
89
00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:07,640
but last night she said
she didn't want to go out.
90
00:03:09,209 --> 00:03:10,810
Maybe she had a guy over.
91
00:03:10,878 --> 00:03:12,611
Not like that--
I didn't say anything.
92
00:03:12,679 --> 00:03:14,814
If you think about what I said,
I didn't say anything.
93
00:03:15,632 --> 00:03:16,748
You have a secret.
94
00:03:17,116 --> 00:03:18,183
- You have a secret.
- No, you have a secret.
95
00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:19,717
- Turn around.
- You turn around.
96
00:03:19,786 --> 00:03:20,786
- Let me see your back.
- Please don't.
97
00:03:20,853 --> 00:03:23,121
- J- ust be cool about...
- Ew, gross.
98
00:03:23,189 --> 00:03:25,723
J'accuse, Miller,
j'accuse.
99
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:26,658
You fold
like a lawn chair.
100
00:03:26,725 --> 00:03:28,927
Fold, fold.
101
00:03:28,995 --> 00:03:30,695
Yes, you-- fold,
fold, fold, fold, fold, fold.
102
00:03:30,763 --> 00:03:32,164
Winston told me Cece and Schmidt
are sleeping together!
103
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,130
- Come on, man!
- What?!
104
00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:36,300
Oh, my God.
105
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:37,601
They know,
Schmidt.
106
00:03:37,669 --> 00:03:38,702
Sweatback?
107
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:40,805
You told Sweatback?
Come on, Winston.
108
00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:42,639
- Jess.
- God.
109
00:03:42,707 --> 00:03:47,144
I am so sorry that you had
to hear about this like this.
110
00:03:47,212 --> 00:03:49,478
But, I mean, can we just take
a moment to celebrate me?
111
00:03:49,546 --> 00:03:50,880
Schmidtty really did it
this time.
112
00:03:50,948 --> 00:03:52,548
I mean,
I'm having Indian every night.
113
00:03:52,616 --> 00:03:54,383
- No, no!
- Whoa, whoa!
114
00:03:59,356 --> 00:04:01,724
Jess, I'm really sorry
you found out this way,
115
00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:02,859
okay, but trust
me, it wasn't
116
00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:05,360
some big conspiracy.
117
00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,395
It was just something that happened
and then it got out of control,
118
00:04:07,463 --> 00:04:08,831
sort of like
poison oak
119
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,498
and I just couldn't
stop scratching it.
120
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:11,700
Cece started it.
121
00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:14,169
That's...
122
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:15,904
I did, I started it.
123
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:18,606
Why, Cece? Are you trying
to get back at your parents?
124
00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:19,741
When did it start?
125
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:21,275
Jess, I want
to emphasize
126
00:04:21,343 --> 00:04:22,944
that we are
not dating.
127
00:04:23,011 --> 00:04:24,145
I can't stress
that enough.
128
00:04:24,213 --> 00:04:25,512
This is
just sex.
129
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,848
Mm-hmm, when did it start?
130
00:04:26,915 --> 00:04:31,219
1:03 a.m., February 15,
131
00:04:31,286 --> 00:04:35,156
right on schedule.
132
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:36,390
Two months ago.
133
00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:37,958
Two months?
134
00:04:38,025 --> 00:04:39,926
Two moons have passed
since you started doing it?
135
00:04:39,994 --> 00:04:41,361
Why do you start talking
like a Native American
136
00:04:41,428 --> 00:04:42,362
when you get angry?
137
00:04:42,429 --> 00:04:43,696
Two moons have passed!
138
00:04:43,764 --> 00:04:45,298
Just a quick sidebar.
139
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,967
Uh, we've done it in every
room of the apartment.
140
00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:48,634
Ugh, even my room?
141
00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:50,237
- Just the one time.
- Oh, God.
142
00:04:50,304 --> 00:04:51,872
How long have you known?
143
00:04:52,239 --> 00:04:53,072
A few days.
144
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:54,539
- You didn't tell me either?
- Jess,
145
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,708
just as a reminder, I told you
seconds after I found out.
146
00:04:56,776 --> 00:04:59,511
Because you're weak, Nick, weak.
147
00:04:59,579 --> 00:05:01,347
Okay, I agree.
Just chill out. Stop yelling.
148
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,682
Jess, I want to tell
you everything.
149
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:04,783
What do you
want to know?
150
00:05:04,851 --> 00:05:06,385
I don't know, Cece.
How would I know
151
00:05:06,452 --> 00:05:07,452
if you're telling
the truth?
152
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:08,320
Come on, Jess.
153
00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,187
Are you seriously mad?
154
00:05:10,756 --> 00:05:13,791
No, no, I'm not.
155
00:05:13,859 --> 00:05:15,693
I'm really glad
you two are having fun.
156
00:05:17,596 --> 00:05:20,498
How cool is that?
157
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,135
For what it's worth
158
00:05:24,203 --> 00:05:26,270
I think what I did
was really brave.
159
00:05:28,072 --> 00:05:29,306
Oh.
160
00:05:29,374 --> 00:05:30,340
Get off of me.
161
00:05:30,408 --> 00:05:32,276
Yeah.
162
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,660
Hey, have you guys seen a scarf?
163
00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:37,594
Holly said she left it out here.
164
00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:38,996
It's my favorite scarf
165
00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,831
because it's a circle,
so you never have to think
166
00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:43,234
about which end goes
on the right or the left.
167
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,835
My therapist
gave it to me.
168
00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:46,536
She's Asian, but
she's the nicest.
169
00:05:50,074 --> 00:05:51,007
Who is that?
170
00:05:51,075 --> 00:05:52,541
Nobody, just...
171
00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:54,911
Who was that?
172
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,512
Was it that
stuck-up bitch
173
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,181
from last night
with the fake hand?
174
00:05:58,249 --> 00:05:59,715
- Whoa.
- No, it was no one.
175
00:05:59,783 --> 00:06:01,885
It was just...
it was just beep-beep-beep.
176
00:06:01,952 --> 00:06:02,886
Was...
177
00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:04,587
I'm so old.
178
00:06:04,654 --> 00:06:06,721
I don't even know
how to use a cell phone.
179
00:06:06,789 --> 00:06:07,789
Come on.
Let's go clubbing.
180
00:06:07,857 --> 00:06:08,991
You want to go clubbing?
181
00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:10,158
Show me the phone.
182
00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:11,559
Let's go back to when
we were having fun.
183
00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:13,461
- Let me see the phone.
- No, just chill out.
184
00:06:13,529 --> 00:06:15,163
- Let me see your phone.
- No!
185
00:06:16,499 --> 00:06:17,665
Smooth.
186
00:06:19,969 --> 00:06:20,902
I'll call you.
187
00:06:20,969 --> 00:06:22,169
Nick, are you kid...?
188
00:06:22,237 --> 00:06:23,504
What, you keep the ringer on?
189
00:06:23,571 --> 00:06:25,306
Amateur move, man.
190
00:06:25,374 --> 00:06:26,941
Yeah, I'm just in over my head.
191
00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:30,077
Schmidt, I hate asking you this,
but how do you do this?
192
00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:31,745
Oh, glory be, are you
asking for my help?
193
00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:33,281
Oh, I-I'm flattered.
194
00:06:33,348 --> 00:06:35,182
Pull up, pull up, Nick.
Yank back on that yoke.
195
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:37,483
We have to face
the reality of the situation.
196
00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:40,420
Schmidt has been having
consensual sex with Cece
197
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,355
and lying about it.
198
00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:43,456
He's better
199
00:06:43,524 --> 00:06:44,925
than us at this, Winston,
200
00:06:44,992 --> 00:06:46,960
and I hate it as much as you do,
201
00:06:47,028 --> 00:06:47,928
and, Schmidt, I
hate saying this,
202
00:06:47,995 --> 00:06:49,162
but I might...
203
00:06:50,864 --> 00:06:51,898
I might respect you.
204
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:53,432
Thank you
for saying that.
205
00:06:53,499 --> 00:06:55,234
You've come a long way, man.
206
00:06:55,302 --> 00:06:56,568
Since my 20s,
I've had
207
00:06:56,636 --> 00:06:58,304
a string of lesser paramours
208
00:06:58,371 --> 00:06:59,638
which,
like weathered
209
00:06:59,705 --> 00:07:02,841
stone steps, have led me
to the Hindu temple,
210
00:07:02,909 --> 00:07:05,377
a.k.a. Cece,
because she's Indian.
211
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,914
You don't have to be
so gentle with me.
212
00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:12,750
All right, oh, that's
how I like it, baby.
213
00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:14,885
All right.
214
00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:18,557
Sex, man.
It's the real stuff.
215
00:07:19,624 --> 00:07:21,459
I don't know
that I should help you.
216
00:07:21,526 --> 00:07:22,927
You're not a player.
217
00:07:22,995 --> 00:07:24,495
You're a clingy
serial monogamist
218
00:07:24,563 --> 00:07:28,198
with-- well, with a
terrible metabolism.
219
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:31,301
Schmidt, I need you...
220
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,804
...to teach me
to be a douchebag.
221
00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,739
- Let's get to work.
- What's happening in the world?
222
00:07:39,409 --> 00:07:40,910
Hey, babe.
223
00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:42,411
Oh, hey, Cece.
224
00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:43,612
Doing some
stretches?
225
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,546
Good guess, model.
226
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:45,681
No, just limbering up
227
00:07:45,748 --> 00:07:46,882
in case I want
to have sex
228
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,985
with one
of your roommates.
229
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,186
Do you want some company?
230
00:07:50,253 --> 00:07:51,720
What?
231
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:54,190
- Do you want some company?
- I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
232
00:07:54,257 --> 00:07:55,358
Diane Keaton
is talking
233
00:07:55,425 --> 00:07:57,993
about her rich life
full of loyal friends.
234
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,294
Oh, Jess,
235
00:07:59,362 --> 00:08:00,528
I hate when we fight.
236
00:08:00,596 --> 00:08:02,097
I get so
stressed out.
237
00:08:02,164 --> 00:08:03,465
I mean, my eye
twitches back.
238
00:08:03,532 --> 00:08:05,066
I'm eating bread,
all right?
239
00:08:05,634 --> 00:08:07,302
Just let me come
on this run with you.
240
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:08,370
No!
241
00:08:08,437 --> 00:08:09,337
Seriously, Jess,
242
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,106
it was just one secret.
243
00:08:11,173 --> 00:08:12,840
Everybody has got secrets.
244
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,041
Good afternoon.
245
00:08:14,109 --> 00:08:16,743
Uh, my name is
Mr. Schmidt. M-R...
246
00:08:16,811 --> 00:08:18,445
Not even a real
chalkboard.
247
00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:20,981
First of all, Nick, congrats.
248
00:08:21,049 --> 00:08:22,616
- Thank you.
- You're meeting a lot of young women,
249
00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:24,584
and for whatever reason,
they seem to,
250
00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:25,986
you know,
find you appealing.
251
00:08:26,054 --> 00:08:27,221
In the restaurant of life,
252
00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:29,555
you have selected
the tasting menu.
253
00:08:29,623 --> 00:08:31,090
Okay, I changed my mind.
I don't want to do this any more.
254
00:08:31,158 --> 00:08:32,725
Nick, you're terrible
at lying,
255
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:35,094
so what we want to do is,
we want to focus on
256
00:08:35,162 --> 00:08:37,063
S.S.V.
257
00:08:37,131 --> 00:08:38,364
I cannot believe
you slept with Cece.
258
00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,199
- Short, simple...
- Vagina.
259
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:42,068
Vague. It's actually...
it's actually vague.
260
00:08:42,136 --> 00:08:44,437
Let's apply it. I'm one of these
young girls that's coming in here.
261
00:08:44,505 --> 00:08:47,005
I want to party. I'm in college.
Let's do this. - I'm in.
262
00:08:47,073 --> 00:08:47,972
Hey, what happened
to your phone?
263
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:49,707
Jesus took it.
264
00:08:49,775 --> 00:08:51,309
A Jesus hawk
on a speedboat.
265
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:52,310
The environment.
266
00:08:52,378 --> 00:08:53,945
Bears, family, magic.
267
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:55,480
Mm-hmm.
268
00:08:55,548 --> 00:08:56,981
- I need your help, Schmidt.
- Yeah.
269
00:08:58,384 --> 00:08:59,584
I'm the girl, and
the whole objective
270
00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:00,919
is to get me out
of the front door
271
00:09:00,986 --> 00:09:03,354
as fast as you
possibly can.
272
00:09:03,422 --> 00:09:04,588
Let's do this.
273
00:09:04,656 --> 00:09:06,123
- Ready?
- Yeah.
274
00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:07,891
- What's your name?
- My name is Janine, all right?
275
00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:09,326
God.
276
00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:13,531
- Don't make that sound.
- Good morning, Nick.
277
00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:14,898
You really gave it
to me good last night.
278
00:09:14,966 --> 00:09:16,367
You gave me the
full business, yeah.
279
00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:18,634
This is really weird,
Schmidt.
280
00:09:18,702 --> 00:09:20,670
It's one of the weirder things
we've done, right?
281
00:09:20,737 --> 00:09:22,439
What you thinking, brown eyes?
Want to grab some brunch?
282
00:09:22,506 --> 00:09:24,307
Sure, Janine,
that sounds fun.
283
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:26,409
God-- no, you don't want to grab brunch.
284
00:09:26,477 --> 00:09:27,577
- Okay.
- Come on, damn it, Nick.
285
00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:28,811
- I'm all turned around.
- Focus.
286
00:09:28,879 --> 00:09:29,812
I just had sex
with Janine.
287
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:30,780
I have feelings
for her.
288
00:09:30,847 --> 00:09:32,248
Yeah, so you're done.
289
00:09:32,316 --> 00:09:34,116
Oh, I just sleep with her
and then kick her out
290
00:09:34,184 --> 00:09:35,784
like she's
a piece of meat?
291
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,686
- This is the problem.
- All right, ask me again, Schmidt.
292
00:09:37,753 --> 00:09:40,021
Okay, cowboy, want to
saddle up and go again?
293
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:42,057
- No, sweetie, I can't.
- Good-- why can't you?
294
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:43,559
I got things to do.
I got plans. - You have work.
295
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,127
Plans can
be canceled.
296
00:09:45,195 --> 00:09:46,462
I don't want to
live in a house of lies.
297
00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:48,430
I can't do
it any more.
298
00:09:49,498 --> 00:09:50,664
Is this
happening, too?
299
00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:51,999
- No, this is not happening.
- No, this is not happening.
300
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:53,834
This isn't what
it looks like.
301
00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:56,737
Okay, look, fine, from now on,
we are going to be open
302
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,106
and honest
in this loft,
303
00:09:58,173 --> 00:09:59,373
and that means that
I have some secrets
304
00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:01,041
I want to get
off my chest.
305
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,743
- I'd rather not hear those.
- Nobody wants to hear these.
306
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,712
Schmidt, a couple months ago
I found Nick
307
00:10:04,779 --> 00:10:07,214
using your chenille throw
as a napkin.
308
00:10:07,281 --> 00:10:09,549
That is a microfiber blend
from Pakistan, you heathen.
309
00:10:09,617 --> 00:10:11,884
- Stop quoting the catalog like a weirdo.
- Each heirloom-quality...
310
00:10:11,952 --> 00:10:13,487
Good, this is healthy.
Air it out.
311
00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:15,155
All right,
one more.
312
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,190
Schmidt said that
Winston is in danger
313
00:10:17,258 --> 00:10:18,558
of becoming a
nanny for life.
314
00:10:18,626 --> 00:10:20,693
He said you were
going "full Poppins."
315
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:22,128
Okay, Winston,
I can see
316
00:10:22,195 --> 00:10:23,395
anger in your eyes.
317
00:10:23,463 --> 00:10:24,696
Schmidt said he thinks
about you sometimes
318
00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:25,697
when he's making
love to himself.
319
00:10:25,765 --> 00:10:27,199
- What?
- One time.
320
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,400
What?!
321
00:10:28,468 --> 00:10:29,935
I thought about bangs
322
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,037
and your face
just appeared beneath them.
323
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,506
Okay, by the way,
324
00:10:33,573 --> 00:10:34,973
like I'm the only one.
325
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:37,175
Nick told me it
happened to him,
326
00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:38,843
- like, like, a bunch of times.
- Winston,
327
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,545
you told me the first week
you got back from Latvia,
328
00:10:40,613 --> 00:10:42,847
you had a sex dream about Jess,
and she had raccoon hands.
329
00:10:42,914 --> 00:10:44,849
- Dreams do not count.
- You've all thought about me
330
00:10:44,916 --> 00:10:47,385
- while self-completing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
331
00:10:47,453 --> 00:10:49,320
Look, Jess,
332
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:50,321
it's not that big a deal.
333
00:10:50,389 --> 00:10:51,689
Really, it's,
334
00:10:51,757 --> 00:10:53,090
it's the sincerest
form of flattery.
335
00:10:53,158 --> 00:10:55,125
We're going back
to keeping secrets.
336
00:10:55,193 --> 00:10:57,261
When I walk through this
door and into my room,
337
00:10:57,328 --> 00:10:58,529
this conversation
never happened.
338
00:10:59,697 --> 00:11:02,966
Oh, my God!
339
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,536
So, what did the
raccoon hands look like?
340
00:11:05,603 --> 00:11:08,672
Oh, man, they were digging
through the garbage.
341
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:20,660
Oh, my God!
342
00:11:20,728 --> 00:11:22,362
Do not drink
my almond milk
343
00:11:22,429 --> 00:11:25,765
when you spent the whole
night drinking Schmidt.
344
00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:28,033
Why are you dressed
like a Mexican wrestler?
345
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:29,268
Because Cece,
346
00:11:29,336 --> 00:11:31,103
I don't want to live
in a world with secrets.
347
00:11:31,171 --> 00:11:32,738
And that means
that I now know
348
00:11:32,805 --> 00:11:34,506
my three roommates
have all thought about me
349
00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:36,008
while self-completing.
350
00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:37,609
So, I'm gonna wear
my winter clothes
351
00:11:37,677 --> 00:11:38,977
until I can deal
with that fact.
352
00:11:39,044 --> 00:11:40,078
But it's better
than not knowing.
353
00:11:40,145 --> 00:11:42,514
- Is it really better?
- Yeah, it is.
354
00:11:42,582 --> 00:11:43,948
Jess, I don't want to fight
with you any more, okay?
355
00:11:44,016 --> 00:11:46,451
I said I was sorry.
356
00:11:46,519 --> 00:11:48,253
We tell each other everything.
We always have.
357
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,821
I've never not
told you something.
358
00:11:49,889 --> 00:11:52,290
That's what second
base means?
359
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:54,492
Then I'm not a
virgin any more.
360
00:11:56,295 --> 00:11:58,263
Is it weird that he wants me
361
00:11:58,330 --> 00:11:59,898
to talk in a deep voice
and call myself Kevin?
362
00:12:00,966 --> 00:12:04,936
I had a dream
that I killed you.
363
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:07,405
You tell me everything,
all right?
364
00:12:07,472 --> 00:12:10,440
I stopped telling you everything
because every time I did,
365
00:12:10,508 --> 00:12:13,643
- you got so judgmental and critical.
- What?!
366
00:12:13,711 --> 00:12:15,578
I had to give it a try, Jess.
367
00:12:15,646 --> 00:12:18,248
I mean, that was the same hand
that was inside Elmo.
368
00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:19,716
Cece.
369
00:12:19,784 --> 00:12:22,085
Okay, yeah, you got me.
370
00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:23,753
You don't have secrets, Jess,
371
00:12:23,821 --> 00:12:25,687
because you never do
anything stupid.
372
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,890
- Look at me!
- With guys.
373
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:30,359
So, living with Spencer
for six years was not a mistake?
374
00:12:30,427 --> 00:12:31,860
Cece, I'm not
judging you.
375
00:12:31,929 --> 00:12:34,330
It's just... Schmidt?
376
00:12:34,398 --> 00:12:36,032
Judging. See what that is?
377
00:12:36,099 --> 00:12:38,100
No. I'm not judging until now.
378
00:12:38,168 --> 00:12:39,701
Don't look at me!
379
00:12:39,769 --> 00:12:41,169
Oh, Jess, would you please!
380
00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:43,671
A winter hat is not gonna
make us stop thinking
381
00:12:43,739 --> 00:12:45,706
about you from time to time
when we delight ourselves.
382
00:12:45,774 --> 00:12:47,242
Oh, no!
383
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:48,843
Hey, could you guys keep it
down? I have a lady visitor.
384
00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:50,445
Hi, Nick.
385
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:52,047
Oh, I get it.
386
00:12:52,114 --> 00:12:53,614
It's actually kind of
a fantasy of mine.
387
00:12:53,682 --> 00:12:55,483
Can you say the following words
out loud?
388
00:12:55,551 --> 00:12:57,017
"The ice roads
are too dangerous!
389
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:58,618
You're gonna have
to turn back, Chief."
390
00:12:58,686 --> 00:13:00,921
I'm not saying that.
391
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,456
Okay.
392
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,191
I want my scarf.
393
00:13:04,259 --> 00:13:06,360
It is 62 degrees out,
and I am freezing.
394
00:13:06,428 --> 00:13:09,263
No. I had work.
I-I have plans. I...
395
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,565
- Get in there! Come on!
- Can I just pay you for the scarf?
396
00:13:11,632 --> 00:13:14,834
Fine. $25.
397
00:13:14,901 --> 00:13:16,535
25...! No, I'll just
help you look for it.
398
00:13:16,603 --> 00:13:20,473
Nick, where'd you go?
399
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,308
Are you kidding me?
No, no, no. It's a bear.
400
00:13:22,376 --> 00:13:23,809
There's a magic bear in there!
That's all it is
401
00:13:23,877 --> 00:13:24,910
is a magic bear.
Just stop. Just...
402
00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:26,312
- Hey, Nick.
- Who is this?
403
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,114
Can I have
this circle scarf?
404
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:29,848
It's my scarf.
405
00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,351
No.
406
00:13:32,418 --> 00:13:35,387
- It's my scarf!
- It's mine!
407
00:13:35,455 --> 00:13:37,022
It's mine!
It's mine!
408
00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:38,690
Nick, I just
want you to know
409
00:13:38,757 --> 00:13:40,625
that I am not
judging you right now.
410
00:13:40,693 --> 00:13:41,960
Oh, yeah.
Right, sure.
411
00:13:42,028 --> 00:13:43,428
Ladies, let's not do this.
412
00:13:43,496 --> 00:13:45,196
At least not
with our shirts on.
413
00:13:45,263 --> 00:13:46,697
Do you know how many things
I haven't told you?
414
00:13:46,764 --> 00:13:48,332
Nol I don't,
because, apparently,
415
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,134
I don't know you at all.
416
00:13:50,202 --> 00:13:51,869
Are you running
a 10K tomorrow?
417
00:13:51,936 --> 00:13:54,538
Who knows? Are you even
against MS any more?
418
00:13:54,606 --> 00:13:55,506
- Beats me!
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
419
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:56,974
They've stopped
hitting each other,
420
00:13:57,041 --> 00:13:58,075
and they're just hitting me!
421
00:13:58,143 --> 00:13:59,910
All right, you want
to go? This New Year's,
422
00:13:59,978 --> 00:14:01,211
I wasn't at my
parents' house.
423
00:14:01,278 --> 00:14:03,046
I was down in St. Barths
424
00:14:03,114 --> 00:14:05,382
with a guy who might
be an arms dealer.
425
00:14:05,449 --> 00:14:07,384
And my feet aren't
whiter than yours.
426
00:14:07,451 --> 00:14:10,553
I just told you that
to make you feel better.
427
00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:12,955
And when we were
ten years old,
428
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,924
I went to the movie My Girl
429
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:18,193
with Jessica P
before I saw it with you!
430
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,995
Ow! Ow! Ow!
431
00:14:20,063 --> 00:14:22,097
And... I own a motorcycle.
432
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,798
Jessica P?!
433
00:14:23,866 --> 00:14:26,001
Jessica freaking P?
434
00:14:26,069 --> 00:14:28,870
Oh, my God, are you crying
under there now?! - No! No!
435
00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:30,472
- I think you are.
- No, I am not.
436
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:31,873
All right, everybody stop!
437
00:14:31,941 --> 00:14:33,807
Wherever you are
438
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,809
right now, just sit down!
439
00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:38,446
Okay, now, Saturday
440
00:14:38,514 --> 00:14:39,813
is a day for sleeping,
441
00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:40,881
and damn it, you will not
442
00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:41,949
take that away from me!
443
00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:43,316
You-- give her her scarf back.
444
00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:46,387
Finders keepers is not a thing.
445
00:14:46,455 --> 00:14:47,821
You-- get out of my house!
446
00:14:47,889 --> 00:14:48,856
Who are you?
447
00:14:48,924 --> 00:14:50,690
Who am I?
448
00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:54,361
Who am I? Well, I am
Theodore K. Mullins.
449
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:56,596
And Nick is my lover
on the down low.
450
00:14:56,664 --> 00:14:59,433
Tell her, Nick.
Tell her how it really
451
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,169
goes down in apartment 4D.
452
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,237
Oh, great Negro spiritual,
453
00:15:04,305 --> 00:15:06,472
please come down
and loose these chains
454
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:07,973
on this woman!
455
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,575
Flesh on flesh.
456
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:10,576
When the lights are off,
457
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,743
we are all
the same.
458
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:12,844
Not true.
459
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,846
Dear lord, help me, Father!
460
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:17,916
Get out of my house.
461
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,185
Get out
462
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,419
of my house!
463
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,752
- Yeah. I'm out.
- I'm leaving.
464
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,221
Hey, can you
give me a ride?
465
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,789
- Get out.
- I'm gonna stop and get a manicure.
466
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:26,491
- Do you want to...?
- Okay. Yeah.
467
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,393
You told Harpo
to beat me?
468
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,694
Bye, guys.
469
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:31,196
You want them over me?
470
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,131
Over me?! You...
471
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:36,134
You're sweating so much,
it looks like rain, and you...
472
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,034
You, you're peaking, man.
473
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,603
You're at the prime
of your life. That's actually...
474
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:43,140
Cece, get rid of the motorcycle!
And Jess, don't act like
475
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,075
you haven't thought about us,
too, when you're going solo.
476
00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:47,777
Okay? I don't work a
9:00-to-5:00. I'm here all day.
477
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,079
I can hear you!
478
00:15:49,147 --> 00:15:50,447
Now, go away,
479
00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:52,949
because I'm... having cereal.
480
00:16:07,664 --> 00:16:09,397
Runners, take
their marks.
481
00:16:09,465 --> 00:16:10,665
♪ Around with them ♪
482
00:16:12,768 --> 00:16:15,069
♪ I don't want to walk
around with them ♪
483
00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:17,139
♪ 'Cause I don't want
to walk around with them ♪
484
00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:18,806
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
485
00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:20,542
♪ I don't want to walk
around with them ♪
486
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,244
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
487
00:16:22,311 --> 00:16:24,446
♪ I don't want to walk around
with them... ♪
488
00:16:26,114 --> 00:16:27,714
Why do all female runners look
489
00:16:27,782 --> 00:16:29,517
like old German women
when they run?
490
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:31,818
Oh, boy, look at her glisten!
491
00:16:31,886 --> 00:16:33,454
Oh, Cece.
492
00:16:33,522 --> 00:16:35,623
That sports bra is doing
God's work right now.
493
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,859
- Two months. - I can't stop.
I got to beat Jess.
494
00:16:39,576 --> 00:16:40,994
What are you...?
What is wrong with you, sir?
495
00:16:41,062 --> 00:16:42,362
That is Cece's water!
496
00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:43,829
You animal!
497
00:16:43,897 --> 00:16:44,964
This thing with our girls
has gotten out of control.
498
00:16:45,532 --> 00:16:46,432
Our girls?
499
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,067
Yeah, it makes me really sad
500
00:16:48,135 --> 00:16:49,969
to see them fighting
over me like this.
501
00:16:50,037 --> 00:16:51,571
Then why are you smiling?
502
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:53,806
Have you guys...
seen... Cece?
503
00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:55,208
Yeah, she's way
down there.
504
00:16:55,276 --> 00:16:56,942
Hasn't even
broken a sweat.
505
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,344
Jess, okay.
Jess, arms up.
506
00:16:59,412 --> 00:17:01,680
Arms up. I need you
long and loose like sea grass.
507
00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:04,416
Moving. Move...
508
00:17:04,484 --> 00:17:06,385
- Oh, my God, why?!
- I'm sorry.
509
00:17:06,452 --> 00:17:07,819
I'm just mad at you.
510
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:10,389
My adrenaline is going.
511
00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:14,458
Did you make that?
512
00:17:14,526 --> 00:17:17,328
- What?
- And Cece let you wear it?
513
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:18,729
What? She thought it was funny.
514
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,901
Cece! Cece?
515
00:17:24,968 --> 00:17:26,570
- Cece!
- What's that about, man?
516
00:17:26,637 --> 00:17:28,338
I mean, I think the shirt's
pretty funny, no?
517
00:17:28,406 --> 00:17:29,906
- Not funny at all.
- Puns are creepy,
518
00:17:29,973 --> 00:17:31,641
and they freak me out,
and you know that. - I like it.
519
00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:33,942
- Nick!
- Oh, no, no, no.
520
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,577
I hooked up with both
those girls last week.
521
00:17:35,645 --> 00:17:36,545
I didn't know they knew
522
00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:38,048
each other. I thought they just
lived in the same apartment.
523
00:17:38,116 --> 00:17:41,351
- Why didn't you call me? - Why didn't you
tell me you hooked up with my roommate?
524
00:17:41,419 --> 00:17:44,421
I don't...
525
00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:46,955
Willow, I didn't call you
526
00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,225
because I had
a family emergency.
527
00:17:49,692 --> 00:17:50,726
Is everything okay?
528
00:17:51,293 --> 00:17:52,461
Yes, it is.
529
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,763
And Megan, I didn't tell you
about Willow because
530
00:17:54,831 --> 00:17:56,998
the moment we had was
so beautiful and intense,
531
00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:58,567
that for a second I thought
532
00:17:58,635 --> 00:18:00,603
we were the only people
on the planet.
533
00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:03,671
Oh. Okay.
534
00:18:03,739 --> 00:18:05,340
Well, we'll
see you later.
535
00:18:05,407 --> 00:18:06,941
- Bye.
- Bye, guys.
536
00:18:08,008 --> 00:18:09,143
It worked.
537
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:10,845
Where did that come from?
538
00:18:10,912 --> 00:18:12,813
I don't know.
I'm trembling, but it worked.
539
00:18:13,181 --> 00:18:15,717
That was so good
my pants just got tight, Nick.
540
00:18:15,784 --> 00:18:18,918
Oh, God, now I hate me as much
as I've always hated you. - Skin.
541
00:18:18,985 --> 00:18:20,587
- See, I have to do this now.
- No, you don't. Don't do it.
542
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:22,122
Yes, I do. - Skin.
All you have to do is just not do it.
543
00:18:22,189 --> 00:18:23,357
I have to.
No, because it works.
544
00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:26,584
Cece?
545
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:30,984
Cece, I can't... breathe.
546
00:18:31,052 --> 00:18:34,455
Cece, I know why you didn't tell
me about Schmidt-- because
547
00:18:34,523 --> 00:18:35,990
you like him!
548
00:18:36,058 --> 00:18:37,125
What?!
549
00:18:37,192 --> 00:18:38,426
The shirt, Cece.
550
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,995
You thought the shirt
he made was funny.
551
00:18:41,063 --> 00:18:43,564
You obviously like him.
552
00:18:43,632 --> 00:18:46,800
It's the only explanation
for thinking that's funny.
553
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,036
Oh, my God,
I think you're right.
554
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,603
And you didn't want to tell me
555
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,138
'cause you knew
that I would know.
556
00:18:52,205 --> 00:18:54,040
And you weren't ready
to admit it to yourself.
557
00:18:55,809 --> 00:18:57,410
Okay, can we just say
that I didn't tell you
558
00:18:57,477 --> 00:18:59,111
because I'm a total bitch?
559
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,747
'Cause I'm way more
comfortable with that.
560
00:19:01,815 --> 00:19:04,750
Oh, maybe I like Schmidt.
561
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:07,820
You... You can't
tell anyone.
562
00:19:07,887 --> 00:19:10,921
Yeah. That's like a secret
only I know.
563
00:19:11,189 --> 00:19:12,023
Heads up.
564
00:19:12,091 --> 00:19:13,391
I'm-I'm peeing.
565
00:19:13,459 --> 00:19:15,060
Oh, my God.
566
00:19:16,127 --> 00:19:17,495
Okay, come on.
We got to finish.
567
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:19,397
Oh! No!
568
00:19:19,465 --> 00:19:20,898
Oh, come on, man.
Come on, dude!
569
00:19:23,135 --> 00:19:25,702
Hey, here they come.
Here they come.
570
00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:27,804
Come on, guys!
Let's go!
571
00:19:27,872 --> 00:19:29,273
Come on, ladies!
Be strong!
572
00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:30,707
Come on!
Come on, ladies!
573
00:19:30,775 --> 00:19:32,343
- Come on, guys.
- All right, let's go!
574
00:19:32,410 --> 00:19:33,910
Come on...
Come on...
575
00:19:33,979 --> 00:19:36,313
- Finish strong!
- Good job, guys.
576
00:19:38,216 --> 00:19:39,949
Winner! Oh, man.
577
00:19:40,377 --> 00:19:41,383
Thanks for
waiting, man.
578
00:19:41,451 --> 00:19:42,551
Hey, thanks
for the ten bucks.
579
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:44,620
Guess what, you guys.
580
00:19:44,688 --> 00:19:47,356
- My shoes are filled with blood!
- Oh, God.
581
00:19:47,423 --> 00:19:48,624
I think it's time to go home.
A little help. Come on.
582
00:19:48,692 --> 00:19:50,360
All right, Cece,
I got her, I got her.
583
00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:51,727
All right.
Okay, Jess, here we go.
584
00:19:51,795 --> 00:19:53,262
Okay, Schmidt,
grab her feet.
585
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,131
- All right, there we go.
- Lead us away.
586
00:19:55,199 --> 00:19:56,631
Good job, Jess.
587
00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:58,200
Real proud of you.
588
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:00,368
What are you doing
to that basil, Cece?
589
00:20:00,435 --> 00:20:01,636
You trying to
make it confess?
590
00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:04,539
Easy with the knife,
Robespierre.
591
00:20:04,607 --> 00:20:06,207
I will cut off
your weaker fingers, Schmidt,
592
00:20:06,274 --> 00:20:08,175
and I'm gonna start
with your pinky.
593
00:20:08,243 --> 00:20:10,111
You guys are adorable.
594
00:20:10,178 --> 00:20:11,613
We are not
adorable.
595
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,413
Okay? We are just
two people having
596
00:20:13,481 --> 00:20:15,582
casual, successful sex.
597
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,017
My bad.
598
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:18,452
Please.
599
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,854
All right.
I can't stand this heat.
600
00:20:20,922 --> 00:20:22,689
I gonna get out
of the kitchen.
601
00:20:24,859 --> 00:20:26,394
Ow. Ow.
602
00:20:26,461 --> 00:20:28,194
You should really
stretch, Jess.
603
00:20:28,262 --> 00:20:29,262
Ow.
604
00:20:29,264 --> 00:20:32,598
You know, Jess thinking
that we're a cute couple is...
605
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,101
I don't... It's
kind of a turnoff.
606
00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:37,803
How do we explain to her that
this is just... it's just sex?
607
00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:39,239
Mm-hmm.
608
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:41,974
What is that?
609
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:44,743
That is shoddy
workmanship is what that is.
610
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:45,744
I'm taking you
off prep.
611
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,312
Go clean the
garbanzo beans.
612
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,314
- I'm taking my knife.
- Be careful with that knife.
613
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,815
It's from Japan.
614
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:57,056
Why? Why, Cece?
615
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,890
Why am I sleeping
with Schmidt?
616
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,058
Is it a pity thing?
617
00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:02,626
Is he sick?
618
00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:04,529
Are you working
for the government?
619
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,397
Damn it, he's holding you
against your will, isn't he?
620
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,466
If he is holding you
against your will, blink twice.
621
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:14,105
Blink twice.
622
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,006
Are you tired
of being turned on?
623
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,908
Hmm? You have a mole fetish?
624
00:21:23,947 --> 00:21:25,282
Is it huge?
625
00:21:26,049 --> 00:21:28,250
I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that.
626
00:21:29,118 --> 00:21:30,120
Is it huge?
627
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:36,456
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